Also, you could see the genuine fear in your face as you were having your salad and smoothie and it broke my heart. I hate that these illnesses make you/us feel this way. Very proud of you.
I can physically FEEL the anxiety that you are having in this video. It's devastating to hear our thoughts out loud sometimes. You consistently make a huge difference in my recovery, I showed one of your videos to my dad and we were able to have a wonderfully honest discussion about how FING IMPOSSIBLE recovery can feel for me. thank you thank you 100 times over.
It is so interesting what our heads make us think and believe. Everyone is so unique with their fears and it just goes to show how completely bizarre these illnesses are. Your salad with dressing looked delicious. You did it. Love you. X
I really didn't actually enjoy either of them at all, I think because of the anxiety. But I'll keep going back and trying again and I'm sure in time it will become easier and then I can actually enjoy it. Thanks for your messages. Love you xxxx
I'm rewatching these because they are still some of the most helpful things for recovery I've found. Just blown away at how far you've come since 2018. Gives me hope so thank you (have no idea if you'll ever see this but wanted to put it here) x
My fears exactly match yours Meg. Always having Diet Coke with a meal when going out; if I have peanut butter for breakfast I can't have nuts for lunch! I map out my meals for the day ahead each day as in that way obviously, I have control over my meal plans. It is agony eating food that is against your rigid Anorexic rules. Your brain is so ingrained with the toxic rules that it is a struggle to step out of your comfort zone. You did the best you could and I'm proud of you. Axx
Awww, bless you. I hope it just shows that it's really not easy for me all the time, I'd hate to paint an unrealistic picture of recovery. Challenging foods is shit, no 2 ways about it. But just because it feels shit doesn't mean we can't do it. lots of love xxxx
@@megsyrecovery191 It does, very much! But really Meg, don't let people get inside your head. It's way easier to try being positive instead of being down- or feeling bad just to show UA-cam people that you actually are. I really, REALLY, love you for being so open and honest. But you shouldn't let the negative comments impact you, alright? Take care & hang in the champ! xx
Wow, this might have been one of the most helpful recovery videos I have ever seen. You so perfectly captured what all of us go through, and your willingness to be vulnerable and courage to persevere was so touching and inspiring. Thank you so much.
Wow I am so proud of you for doing this. You are so brave. Not only for challenging these fears but also sharing it. You are so strong and inspirational. You deserve so much more than this illness. Keep fighting and take care.
Awww yesss good for you. You can do it. It's not easy, I hope this video just shows that it's really not easy for me all the time, I'd hate to paint an unrealistic picture of recovery. Challenging foods is shit, no 2 ways about it. But just because it feels shit doesn't mean we can't do it. lots of love xxxx
I started watching your videos in January and I can honestly say that they are what helped me through recovery. You see the reason that I'm no longer trapped in my tiny little ED world. Trust me, you can do it and you will do it. It may seem like there's so many steps and that with every step you take forward, there's a thousand more to do, BUUUUT you're getting closer and closer and that's the whole point. Your mindset of questioning eating behaviours and justifying and rationalising is what will help you get through it. The worst thing for me when I tried to recover the first time was that I recovered in my little bubble, I gained weight but challenged nothing. You're doing so amazingly well because you're actively breaking your habits, how incredible is that!!! I believe in you 💜
Meg, you are such an inspiration! Seriously, you are so brave for not only challenging your fears but also sharing the whole process with us/your viewers. I admire you so much and I wish you would realise how much you help others who are dealing with those later, hard stages of ED recovery(like me right now). I think you're amazing! :) x
i know this video was three years ago but genuinely, seeing you work through the pain and fear was helpful for me. it makes me see that i am not alone and i am certainly not the only one dealing with it. so sorry you had to go through it❤️
This is probably my favorite video that you've EVER done. It sort of feels like looking in a mirror in both the best and worst way possible. Worst because I so identify with the struggles, but best because I see you fighting to overcome them. And if you can do it then, with persistence, so can I. So thank you for your vulnerability and transparency!
So relavant for me right now, Meg. You should be so proud of yourself for continuing to challenge yourself despite how crappy it feels. Your vlogs are so supporting to me and my recovery x
Thank you so much for such a genuine, inspirational video and sharing advice - I'm the same in terms of eating on my own and all of the justifications + multiple head thoughts that come in at 100 miles per hour! I can't tell you how much it means to have someone I can relate to who is expressed exactly what I have been experiencing. Your videos make me feel less alone. I know it has been said but well done for challenging yourself (it was clear how difficult you found it) and not only that but going back for a re-do the next day!
Meg. I've been watching you for a while but never commented. YOU ARE SO BRAVE. You give me the hope that recovery is possible. I love how honest you are about your struggles.... Keep it up
Just weighing in on the ridiculousness of food fears. They are SO irrational. My safe foods when I had anorexia at age 12 are my fear foods now at age 35. This is truly an illness. You’re showing us all how to be brave. The only way out is through! Love you!
Thank you so much for your raw honesty, and for sharing your challenges with us. You have no idea how much it helps the rest of us in our recovery journey. I totally get how hard it is to face these fears and worries about food, and even though you didn't enjoy the salad, you DID IT, and are on your way to rewiring that brain, and getting free from the shit of an eating disorder. If I could reach through the computer screen, you would be getting the biggest hug in the world. You are a strong, strong person, and so very brave. HUGS!!!
I’m actually in awe of you watching this, you are achieving so much and becoming so much stronger than your ED slowly but surely which you may not find easy to hear but it is a compliment. Well done x
Your videos are honestly helping me so much. I’ve only recently started recovery and your videos are honestly helping me so much I’m so glad I found your channel.Everything you say just makes perfect sense you just get it! Now every time I challenge myself I watch your videos afterwards to help distract me and I write some of the things you say down. Honestly your an inspiration keep doing what your doing Meg!❤️🤞🏻
I nearly cried when you finished the salad and the smoothie, my heart broke for how scared you were. But I'm so in awe, well done! You are an absolute inspiration, honestly amazing!! Also btw, your hair looks amazing so so shiny and strong!
So proud of you, Megs! 🤗 Even if you didn't enjoy the meal, you still went all the way and ate it! I don't think i have many fear food other than the common ones (fat, oils, sugar) but my major problem is portion size and quantities 😣
I'm so proud of you for facing your fear foods! It's hard and it sucks, but distracting yourself is such a great tool, I use it all the time. I mostly read, or watch youtube videos, or play games on my phone, or focus on school stuff, since university is a huge motivation for me right now. I've also faced a lot of fear foods this weekend. I'm visiting my friend who lives in London, and it's crazy how scary it can be to not just have the same brand or yogurts and stuff you're used to. But I've had a small bag of chips (crisps?), which was a huge win, as well as pancakes with chocolate sauce and maple syrup. I've also had a snack at a café when my friend just ordered tea, which has been completely impossible before. I know these things probably happen easier when I'm away in a completely different environment, and can't even get hold of my safe foods, but hopefully I'll be able to take some of these things with me when I go home. I'd really love to be able to make myself pancakes at some point! And put loads of peanut butter on them :D
OMG good for you, especially eating when she had tea. Its so important to be able to do that, our bodies areas independent of those around us, and they will not gain weight based on some one else, and also they need MORE than others at the moment, because of all the time they've gone without. GOOD FOR YOU!! Keep challenging hun xxxxx
biggest thing I can say is KEEP CHALLENGING THIS FEAR!! The more you do it, the easier it will become. Just like in the other video you made about creating the new pathways. I really enjoy that you show the reality of challenges, and that it's not always easy. Its so worth it though!
Hi Meg! I have mentioned it before, but I will be eternally grateful to you and your videos, your vulnerability and how genuine you are about your struggles and your recovery!! You are so incredibly inspirational!! I cannot tell you how many times your voice has gotten me through a difficult moment!! And you do it all in such a non-assuming, gentle, and sweet way!! :-) I am wondering if you could share your psychologist’s name? Is he or she open to working virtually? I am in the US
You are an absolute warrior queen!! I literally have no more words! Just so proud of you and fully intend to at least try to match your strength of mind! Xxxxxxxxxxx
YESSSS! Please do. I really hope this shows that it's not easy for me but I just do it anyway.... And then over time that attitude/action is helping it become easier xxx
Another thing we can do to shift our mindset during meals is that we can be grateful for the food are are consuming. I always go back to think about those who are less fortunate. I'm so blessed to be living where I am and working where I am and able to enjoy food and drink with such freedom. I think the only thing that keeps us from being really free is our own minds. Take the focus off of ourselves and try to enjoy just living and move on with our day. You're doing so well. I think you broke down some walls with your fear foods today. Nobody said it was easy. I think next time it will keep getting a little easier. Btw, congrats on moving! That place looked lovely!! Best of luck with everything!! :) :)
And, gosh, I relate to you SO much when it comes to challenges. It's like you've waited YEARS to be able to enjoy these foods but then can't enjoy them because the anxiety is too much and seems to make you shut down a little. It's so frustrating!!
I am proud of you Meg! It was incredibly hard and you did it!! I really hope you look back on it as a succes, because you kicked ass! You just took a really big step towards you goal. 💙
you are so incredibly strong Meg! even when you slip up and make mistakes like changing your order, so so strong because you had the courage to show up and try! and then you went back and did it again and you overcame the fear and conquered it even though you knew it would make you feel like complete and total shit. YOU are the very definition of strong. don’t let your eating disorder tell you otherwise. 💜💪
So first off, your outfit, I'm loving it! Second, I know this couldn't have been easy to upload and show to the world, but thank you. You capture EXACTLY what it's like in recovery. Going in with good intentions and really striving to do better, only to have that voice speak up and make you doubt yourself. But it's awesome to see that you keep going and trying no matter what 😊
I'm super proud and happy for you Meg! I can relate from a pleasure viewpoint. I have a very hard time allowing myself to enjoy food/drink and even events after how those that triggered the ed treated me. Challenge repeat has become my way of life. It breaks my heart to see you struggle, but your vulnerability is super inspiring.
Fantastic video, I can so relate , and I just seeing how you have dealt with the challenge and keep challenging makes me realise I need to challenge myself more.... I’m stuck at the moment but don’t want to be here!!! Thankyou Meg 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I’ve commented before and I want you to know I’ve admired you for so long! you are truly an inspiration and have helped me so much although I just started actually recovering with doctors just last week. Everybody knows about my having anorexia and they keep calling to check on me etc. Im 17 so now my parents don’t even want me to move to college next fall. Anyways I’m so sorry you had this panic, I just did last night, like 12 hours ago as well. My dad bbq and he’s not observing me like he’s suppose to or get me any food he just says to “eat more” there’s nothing here I’m suppose to be having like yogurt or fruit.. not the point sorry. Anyways I challenged myself for dinner having a hotdog w a bun and ketchup which I haven’t had in so long (bun & ketchup) but I was planning to challenge myself to one of his burgers but I had seen him make it himself, the calories of the bun, all that and couldn’t when it came to it. I panicked cried and freaked out like 10 mins before going downstairs a couple hours later and making it & eating it. I only ate half and it wasn’t perfect so I was annoyed but I’m proud of myself for trying probably one of my biggest food fears and you should be proud as well! No one seen us or forced us to do it, we tried it for ourselves and it didn’t go perfect but the effort really does count in this disorder. Opposite actions❤️ have a good weekend Meg :)
I learn so much from you, Meg! I don't have anorexia, but I have North Node in Pisces (like you) and so my lessons are also around letting go and trusting in my vision! Thank you for your videos. 💛
This mega inspired me; my mam has a day off work tomorrow and she wanted to take me out for lunch and I kept saying "I don't know" and "maybe" and basically avoiding it when she asked me, I know she's worried about that but I still was definite on not going, but now I feel really inspired that you actually did it, still anxious and frightened and will probably cry but I want to actually try
Thank you for sharing Meg! I totally relate to your feelings like the constant battle between fucking anorexia thoughts and ourselves when we expose ourselves to fear. It is so tiring and shitty!! But I think it is so IMPORTANT to take a first step. stepping out from comfort zone (totally not being comfortable there tho) gives our brain the first chance to know they need neuro rewiring by stimulating them! I know it takes long to get neuroriwiring done but we know the repetition is the key and we do not give up on ourselves and recovery!! I am so proud of you for keeping challenging yourself. I love you, Meg.
You did such a good job Meg! That was super challenging and you faced it head on. It's ok that you felt a bit shit after. I always do after I challenge myself with something. Salad dressing is also a fear of mine and I have had to challenge it over and over ordering salads as they come. It gets easier! Tonight I am challenging myself to a muffin with unknown calories. I always feel crappy after I eat it because I know it isn't the lowest calories choice.. but as you said that isn't the point. I love your blogs so much and I'm sending you lots of love and hugs from Canada!
I know this fear all too well, and it is totally normal not to be able to enjoy the food when the anxiety levels are so high! But you did it, and that is so freaking good! I was wondering if doing these challenges might be a little more easy when you have company of a friend or Brendan, to give you some extra distraction? Or is it better for you to practice on your own? Great idea of writing down all the pro's and con's! Some sort of distraction is very helpful when practicing facing our fears. Great job, it will get easier every time! I do relate to postponing challenging things, that in my head are just 'minor things that I could change easily, not necessary to challenge therefore', but in reality are still things that keep the ED wires active in the brain. Good for you to challenge everything, not leave any little crumb of the ED behind!
I admire you so-o-o-o much. Baby steps right...I am no WAY where you are tho I go thru the same process as you did at the cafe' with EVERY thing I put into my mouth, even drinks for the past 40 yrs and compensate, compensate, compensate. My ex-husband calls it High Maintenance and whenever we ate out, wherever, he’d apologize for or alert the host/server that I was high maintenance, like “When Harry Met Sally”. That’s why things have to be “naked” so to speak so I can see everything in it… No sauces, dsgs(I use some type of naked vinegar) I fear my brain will NEVER rewire… You have a lot to be proud of Meg!!! Good on you!!
I have exactly the same fears as you, literally identical. Salad dressing is like the devil - what an insane thought, but that’s exactly what I think. I go over and over in my head once the waitress leaves and want to run after her and change it as I’m second guessing the calories in it. Huge respect for going on your own too. I really respect you for challenging these things constantly.
Aww thanks love, I really hope this shows that it's not easy for me but I just do it anyway. Hope you're managing too. Who wants a life where dressing has to be ordered on the side / calculated / feared. Lots of love xxx
Literally just messeged you on Insta (Queenrosecohen) But MY GOD I'm so proud of you! Can't even put it into words. Just think about this for a second. Who ever in the history of humans, has ever fought hard for something and looked back, and said... Well that was easy. Nothing worth anything is easy, beautiful lady. But you are so strong, so capable and deserving of recovery. It might feel like sometimes it's winning because the voice is loud, but don't mistake those voices for strength, that's the screams of your ED getting weaker. You can survive without anorexia, your anorexia can't survive without you. Keep going Meg. You are doing so well!! Oh and I was legit in tears when you cried! I have felt that anxiety and pain before. You put yourself out there and so will I. I cried because it made me remember a time when I was so sick, my family had cooked me a beautiful breakfast, however like you I was petrified, as there were sauces, dressings, sides ect... So (This is so embarrassing) Ahhhh god. I did butt clenches under the table as we were all eating 😳😳😳😳 I mean holy shit! So weird! But you know, just more proof that anorexia is a thief of joy and sanity. Keep going beauty, I hope my confession made you feel a little more... I dunno I guess less alone in weird behaviours. Love love love Xxxx
Awwww thanks matey. Yeh, totally with you in the weird behaviors lol. I don't know how you're doing now but I find when I'm doing better and look back on memories like the butt clenches I'm like WTF!?!?!?! Once you have a bit of perspective on it it just seems so mental. Let's never go back there. I'll respond on insta too, lots of love xxxxx
Great Job! Just keep doing it with different combinations and it will be just normal for you. Proud you challenged yourself. Keep going and reach your goals.
I totally recognize the anxiety you feel when ordering out and then the constant agony of having to wait for it (I can't focus on conversation with my friends or family during this time). But congratulations on the salad!
Megsy. I'm Anna, I'm from Italy, and I've been anorexic from more than 10 years (I'm 23). I'm struggling to recover now. I just wanted to make you know that you are helping me a lot. THANK YOU. REALLY. 😘🌻🌈🎵
Michaela Králiková yeh thats been a big struggle, I can think about it. I’ve actually found it really helpful recently to change what I’m wearing. I’ve been wearing dresses, skirts & leggings a lot more recently & I feel so much more comfortable in them
I've found a good pair of dungarees to be an absolute life saver! I got them a size too big just in case. I wear them SOOO much and sometimes will dress them up with a floaty blouse. It fits a chunky jumper under in cold weather and in the summer I can simply do a bit of exposure therapy and wear a crop top while feeling g cool and less sticky. It's probably a tricky one because clothes is sort of a personal thing and also part of our identity. I have found it so difficult to find "my style" since the weight gain. Not sure if you've come across it or not by Megsy did do a video on getting rid of clothes that no longer fit. :)
Sometimes when these thoughts creep into my brain before, during and after ordering at a restaurant I try to think about what my body really wants to eat at that moment. Sometimes I get swept away in the moment when I'm with friends or family dining out. When I'm dining alone, I think for me it's easier to listen to my internal voice and what I really want to eat. I understand what you mean when you're alone and the voices keep telling you to order something else and you end up ordering the same old same old and ordering dressing on the side or something like that. I think we just do the damn thing and move on. Do not analyze afterwards. You did great ordering and eating the lunch. We need to stop the analyzation and then it will lessen our anxieties. Know what I mean?
I had pizza (fear food and favourite food) last night and today I wanted to makeup for it but I'm still very hungry and want more carbs. watching your video really helped me. thank you for being candid and videoing your most vulnerable moments. the anxiety is so real it's suffocating I know. I just don't know how to deal with the body changes I experience after eating my fear foods. any thoughts and thank you Megs xx
I’m leaving for New York today, it’s me and my partners 5 year anniversary and I am determined to smash this trip! I want to see it as an experiment and eat freely and not let the ED come with me, we are there for 5 days so I figure what’s the worst that could happen in 5 days? I really enjoyed this video because you pushed through and you did it and I know I will have this same feeling all through the trip but I will definitely use the list idea and distractions is there anything else you’d recommend??? Xx
Awww I really hope you can enjoy it, I like that you say you know you'll have the same feeling during the trip. I think the reason I've struggled in the past is because I've felt guilty and so run back to my ED. Whereas actually the guilt is kind of to be expected, and it's more important to accept that it's a necessary part, feel it, and then just DO IT anyway. And then distract, which New York will be brilliant for!!! Enjoy it, you only live once!!! xxx
You’re SO amazing! I am inspired to challenge myself after watching this! Fried fish fillet sandwich with tarter sauce and macaroni and cheese...here it goes...😖
What helped me was to STOP paying so much attention to decisions that had already been made. Once you have ordered something, just stop thinking about it and force yourself as hard as you can to think about something else, or actually do something to distract yourself. Don´t analyze it. Read newspaper. Watch youtube. Listen to your favourite music. Call someone. I know it is against what we normally learn: you should focus on eating, don´t distract yourself... But those are rules for healthy people...
@@megsyrecovery191 Tabitha Farrar says she now (fully recovered) eats quickly and mindlessly - exactly the opposite of what most people consider healthy! The problem is that most "healthy habits" are toxic for us who have struggled with EDs... I guess that the only way is repeat and repeat every day until it once gets easier. If 2nd time was better, then 50th time might be absolutely OK :-). Fingers crossed!
Omg in Qatar it’s the exact same😱 It took me 5 hours just to get home from the mall one time! It was crazy! I faced one of my fear foods yesterday! I’m glad I did it. I don’t want to be free of food :)
So funny isn't it, they once announced in our office over the tannoy that we should go home because it was raining lol. WELL DONE!!!! Challenge repeat, it'll get easier xxx
Exercise has never really been a problem for me, other than when I was a teenager and used to throw myself round my room and do all sorts of mad things. I do get a lot of questions about it, but I feel a bit of a fraud talking about it x
Megsy Recovery I just wondered if it had changed in recovery because some people increase movement but glad you don't seem to of got caught up in that. Xx
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
Also, you could see the genuine fear in your face as you were having your salad and smoothie and it broke my heart.
I hate that these illnesses make you/us feel this way.
Very proud of you.
I can physically FEEL the anxiety that you are having in this video. It's devastating to hear our thoughts out loud sometimes. You consistently make a huge difference in my recovery, I showed one of your videos to my dad and we were able to have a wonderfully honest discussion about how FING IMPOSSIBLE recovery can feel for me. thank you thank you 100 times over.
Erin Sytsema 💛💛💛💛 so glad it helped!! You can do it xxx
This was one of the best videos you’ve ever done. It was truly transparent, and so unbelievably inspiring. Thank you so much Meg!
Be Kind 🙏
It is so interesting what our heads make us think and believe. Everyone is so unique with their fears and it just goes to show how completely bizarre these illnesses are.
Your salad with dressing looked delicious. You did it.
Love you. X
I really didn't actually enjoy either of them at all, I think because of the anxiety. But I'll keep going back and trying again and I'm sure in time it will become easier and then I can actually enjoy it. Thanks for your messages. Love you xxxx
I'm rewatching these because they are still some of the most helpful things for recovery I've found. Just blown away at how far you've come since 2018. Gives me hope so thank you (have no idea if you'll ever see this but wanted to put it here) x
My fears exactly match yours Meg. Always having Diet Coke with a meal when going out; if I have peanut butter for breakfast I can't have nuts for lunch! I map out my meals for the day ahead each day as in that way obviously, I have control over my meal plans. It is agony eating food that is against your rigid Anorexic rules. Your brain is so ingrained with the toxic rules that it is a struggle to step out of your comfort zone. You did the best you could and I'm proud of you. Axx
Thanks lovely, yeh, so hard to go against the rules. But then also so necessary for rewiring that brain of ours! Lots of love xxx
I had a hard time watching you have a hard time. I'm proud of you Meg, one step at a time!
Awww, bless you. I hope it just shows that it's really not easy for me all the time, I'd hate to paint an unrealistic picture of recovery. Challenging foods is shit, no 2 ways about it. But just because it feels shit doesn't mean we can't do it. lots of love xxxx
@@megsyrecovery191 It does, very much! But really Meg, don't let people get inside your head. It's way easier to try being positive instead of being down- or feeling bad just to show UA-cam people that you actually are. I really, REALLY, love you for being so open and honest. But you shouldn't let the negative comments impact you, alright? Take care & hang in the champ! xx
so reassuring to see the hard bits of recovery too! you’ve inspired me to be open about my struggles on my own youtube channel!
Oh Meg don't be too hard on yourself, you can be SO proud !!! Honestly I admire you so much! 💜
Wow, this might have been one of the most helpful recovery videos I have ever seen. You so perfectly captured what all of us go through, and your willingness to be vulnerable and courage to persevere was so touching and inspiring. Thank you so much.
You’re amazing Megan! Thank you for showing me this raw side of you, it really helps to know that I’m not the only one struggling. Keep fighting!!
Wow I am so proud of you for doing this. You are so brave. Not only for challenging these fears but also sharing it. You are so strong and inspirational. You deserve so much more than this illness. Keep fighting and take care.
Meg this video helped me SO much!! Thank you thank you for recording this and being honest to us
Awww yesss good for you. You can do it. It's not easy, I hope this video just shows that it's really not easy for me all the time, I'd hate to paint an unrealistic picture of recovery. Challenging foods is shit, no 2 ways about it. But just because it feels shit doesn't mean we can't do it. lots of love xxxx
I started watching your videos in January and I can honestly say that they are what helped me through recovery. You see the reason that I'm no longer trapped in my tiny little ED world. Trust me, you can do it and you will do it. It may seem like there's so many steps and that with every step you take forward, there's a thousand more to do, BUUUUT you're getting closer and closer and that's the whole point. Your mindset of questioning eating behaviours and justifying and rationalising is what will help you get through it. The worst thing for me when I tried to recover the first time was that I recovered in my little bubble, I gained weight but challenged nothing. You're doing so amazingly well because you're actively breaking your habits, how incredible is that!!! I believe in you 💜
i can relate with your thoughts and feelings so much... you are extremely strong meg!!
Meg, you are such an inspiration! Seriously, you are so brave for not only challenging your fears but also sharing the whole process with us/your viewers. I admire you so much and I wish you would realise how much you help others who are dealing with those later, hard stages of ED recovery(like me right now). I think you're amazing! :) x
i know this video was three years ago but genuinely, seeing you work through the pain and fear was helpful for me. it makes me see that i am not alone and i am certainly not the only one dealing with it. so sorry you had to go through it❤️
You are a ray of sunshine, truly. I am so grateful for your channel. Keep making a difference.
This is probably my favorite video that you've EVER done. It sort of feels like looking in a mirror in both the best and worst way possible. Worst because I so identify with the struggles, but best because I see you fighting to overcome them. And if you can do it then, with persistence, so can I. So thank you for your vulnerability and transparency!
So relavant for me right now, Meg. You should be so proud of yourself for continuing to challenge yourself despite how crappy it feels. Your vlogs are so supporting to me and my recovery x
Thank you so much for such a genuine, inspirational video and sharing advice - I'm the same in terms of eating on my own and all of the justifications + multiple head thoughts that come in at 100 miles per hour! I can't tell you how much it means to have someone I can relate to who is expressed exactly what I have been experiencing. Your videos make me feel less alone.
I know it has been said but well done for challenging yourself (it was clear how difficult you found it) and not only that but going back for a re-do the next day!
Meg. I've been watching you for a while but never commented.
YOU ARE SO BRAVE. You give me the hope that recovery is possible. I love how honest you are about your struggles....
Keep it up
Just weighing in on the ridiculousness of food fears. They are SO irrational. My safe foods when I had anorexia at age 12 are my fear foods now at age 35. This is truly an illness. You’re showing us all how to be brave. The only way out is through! Love you!
Thank you so much for your raw honesty, and for sharing your challenges with us. You have no idea how much it helps the rest of us in our recovery journey. I totally get how hard it is to face these fears and worries about food, and even though you didn't enjoy the salad, you DID IT, and are on your way to rewiring that brain, and getting free from the shit of an eating disorder. If I could reach through the computer screen, you would be getting the biggest hug in the world. You are a strong, strong person, and so very brave. HUGS!!!
friendoftherese1 awww thanks so much. Big hug & love back 😘😘😘
This is so so inspiring! Thank you so much for showing the REAL struggles and how you overcome them! I acknowledge it's not easy! Much love x
Thank god for a new video. Definitely needed this. I can completely relate and it’s so crazy how these little things can make us feel absolutely mad
I can tell that you really tried your best. That's something to be proud of!
I’m actually in awe of you watching this, you are achieving so much and becoming so much stronger than your ED slowly but surely which you may not find easy to hear but it is a compliment. Well done x
Your videos are honestly helping me so much. I’ve only recently started recovery and your videos are honestly helping me so much I’m so glad I found your channel.Everything you say just makes perfect sense you just get it! Now every time I challenge myself I watch your videos afterwards to help distract me and I write some of the things you say down. Honestly your an inspiration keep doing what your doing Meg!❤️🤞🏻
I nearly cried when you finished the salad and the smoothie, my heart broke for how scared you were. But I'm so in awe, well done! You are an absolute inspiration, honestly amazing!! Also btw, your hair looks amazing so so shiny and strong!
So proud of you, Megs! 🤗 Even if you didn't enjoy the meal, you still went all the way and ate it! I don't think i have many fear food other than the common ones (fat, oils, sugar) but my major problem is portion size and quantities 😣
Natasha whatever it is that freaks you out you can challenge it. It’s not easy, but you can do it 😘
Me too, the portions makes me crazy! I hate to eat big portions :(....understand you very well :)
I'm so proud of you for facing your fear foods! It's hard and it sucks, but distracting yourself is such a great tool, I use it all the time. I mostly read, or watch youtube videos, or play games on my phone, or focus on school stuff, since university is a huge motivation for me right now.
I've also faced a lot of fear foods this weekend. I'm visiting my friend who lives in London, and it's crazy how scary it can be to not just have the same brand or yogurts and stuff you're used to. But I've had a small bag of chips (crisps?), which was a huge win, as well as pancakes with chocolate sauce and maple syrup. I've also had a snack at a café when my friend just ordered tea, which has been completely impossible before. I know these things probably happen easier when I'm away in a completely different environment, and can't even get hold of my safe foods, but hopefully I'll be able to take some of these things with me when I go home. I'd really love to be able to make myself pancakes at some point! And put loads of peanut butter on them :D
OMG good for you, especially eating when she had tea. Its so important to be able to do that, our bodies areas independent of those around us, and they will not gain weight based on some one else, and also they need MORE than others at the moment, because of all the time they've gone without. GOOD FOR YOU!! Keep challenging hun xxxxx
biggest thing I can say is KEEP CHALLENGING THIS FEAR!! The more you do it, the easier it will become. Just like in the other video you made about creating the new pathways. I really enjoy that you show the reality of challenges, and that it's not always easy. Its so worth it though!
Megsy you did so well to go back and try again. You’re smashing this: Thankyou for inspiring AZK and me :)
Good for you for getting out of your comfort zone and being so honest about your feelings! Keep killing it!
Hi Meg! I have mentioned it before, but I will be eternally grateful to you and your videos, your vulnerability and how genuine you are about your struggles and your recovery!! You are so incredibly inspirational!! I cannot tell you how many times your voice has gotten me through a difficult moment!! And you do it all in such a non-assuming, gentle, and sweet way!! :-) I am wondering if you could share your psychologist’s name? Is he or she open to working virtually? I am in the US
This video was amazing. You are literally so strong and so inspirational. Keep pushing; keep fighting every day - you are such a warrior.
You are an absolute warrior queen!!
I literally have no more words! Just so proud of you and fully intend to at least try to match your strength of mind! Xxxxxxxxxxx
YESSSS! Please do. I really hope this shows that it's not easy for me but I just do it anyway.... And then over time that attitude/action is helping it become easier xxx
Another thing we can do to shift our mindset during meals is that we can be grateful for the food are are consuming. I always go back to think about those who are less fortunate. I'm so blessed to be living where I am and working where I am and able to enjoy food and drink with such freedom. I think the only thing that keeps us from being really free is our own minds. Take the focus off of ourselves and try to enjoy just living and move on with our day. You're doing so well. I think you broke down some walls with your fear foods today. Nobody said it was easy. I think next time it will keep getting a little easier. Btw, congrats on moving! That place looked lovely!! Best of luck with everything!! :) :)
And, gosh, I relate to you SO much when it comes to challenges. It's like you've waited YEARS to be able to enjoy these foods but then can't enjoy them because the anxiety is too much and seems to make you shut down a little. It's so frustrating!!
I am proud of you Meg! It was incredibly hard and you did it!! I really hope you look back on it as a succes, because you kicked ass! You just took a really big step towards you goal. 💙
you are so incredibly strong Meg! even when you slip up and make mistakes like changing your order, so so strong because you had the courage to show up and try! and then you went back and did it again and you overcame the fear and conquered it even though you knew it would make you feel like complete and total shit. YOU are the very definition of strong. don’t let your eating disorder tell you otherwise. 💜💪
So first off, your outfit, I'm loving it!
Second, I know this couldn't have been easy to upload and show to the world, but thank you.
You capture EXACTLY what it's like in recovery. Going in with good intentions and really striving to do better, only to have that voice speak up and make you doubt yourself.
But it's awesome to see that you keep going and trying no matter what 😊
Just got to keep going, recovery is never perfect and it's never fun and easy xxx
I'm super proud and happy for you Meg! I can relate from a pleasure viewpoint. I have a very hard time allowing myself to enjoy food/drink and even events after how those that triggered the ed treated me. Challenge repeat has become my way of life. It breaks my heart to see you struggle, but your vulnerability is super inspiring.
Fantastic video, I can so relate , and I just seeing how you have dealt with the challenge and keep challenging makes me realise I need to challenge myself more.... I’m stuck at the moment but don’t want to be here!!! Thankyou Meg 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Awwww I know it's so hard, but you can do it. Don't let feeling shitty put you off, it's all part of the process xxxx
Meg I love you so much, you're incredible! Such a recovery and life inspiration, well done for kicking ED ass! Xxx
Making the list during or after having a meal is a great thing! Thanks a lot, I'm gonna try that, too!
It's been so amazing for me today to try and stay on track with what I'm doing and why I want to do it
I’ve commented before and I want you to know I’ve admired you for so long! you are truly an inspiration and have helped me so much although I just started actually recovering with doctors just last week. Everybody knows about my having anorexia and they keep calling to check on me etc. Im 17 so now my parents don’t even want me to move to college next fall. Anyways I’m so sorry you had this panic, I just did last night, like 12 hours ago as well. My dad bbq and he’s not observing me like he’s suppose to or get me any food he just says to “eat more” there’s nothing here I’m suppose to be having like yogurt or fruit.. not the point sorry. Anyways I challenged myself for dinner having a hotdog w a bun and ketchup which I haven’t had in so long (bun & ketchup) but I was planning to challenge myself to one of his burgers but I had seen him make it himself, the calories of the bun, all that and couldn’t when it came to it. I panicked cried and freaked out like 10 mins before going downstairs a couple hours later and making it & eating it. I only ate half and it wasn’t perfect so I was annoyed but I’m proud of myself for trying probably one of my biggest food fears and you should be proud as well! No one seen us or forced us to do it, we tried it for ourselves and it didn’t go perfect but the effort really does count in this disorder. Opposite actions❤️ have a good weekend Meg :)
I learn so much from you, Meg! I don't have anorexia, but I have North Node in Pisces (like you) and so my lessons are also around letting go and trusting in my vision! Thank you for your videos. 💛
This mega inspired me; my mam has a day off work tomorrow and she wanted to take me out for lunch and I kept saying "I don't know" and "maybe" and basically avoiding it when she asked me, I know she's worried about that but I still was definite on not going, but now I feel really inspired that you actually did it, still anxious and frightened and will probably cry but I want to actually try
Thank you for sharing Meg! I totally relate to your feelings like the constant battle between fucking anorexia thoughts and ourselves when we expose ourselves to fear. It is so tiring and shitty!! But I think it is so IMPORTANT to take a first step. stepping out from comfort zone (totally not being comfortable there tho) gives our brain the first chance to know they need neuro rewiring by stimulating them! I know it takes long to get neuroriwiring done but we know the repetition is the key and we do not give up on ourselves and recovery!! I am so proud of you for keeping challenging yourself. I love you, Meg.
SunshineHika totally agree it’s all in the repetition. Other fears have gotten easier with challenging, just got to give it time 😋
Proud of you 💕 You did it even though it was sooo hard! That is pure strength 💪🏼
Thanks hun. I hope it just shows that it's really not easy for me all the time, I'd hate to paint an unrealistic picture of recovery xxx
You did such a good job Meg! That was super challenging and you faced it head on. It's ok that you felt a bit shit after. I always do after I challenge myself with something. Salad dressing is also a fear of mine and I have had to challenge it over and over ordering salads as they come. It gets easier! Tonight I am challenging myself to a muffin with unknown calories. I always feel crappy after I eat it because I know it isn't the lowest calories choice.. but as you said that isn't the point. I love your blogs so much and I'm sending you lots of love and hugs from Canada!
This makes me so happy. You are smashing this xx
I know this fear all too well, and it is totally normal not to be able to enjoy the food when the anxiety levels are so high! But you did it, and that is so freaking good! I was wondering if doing these challenges might be a little more easy when you have company of a friend or Brendan, to give you some extra distraction? Or is it better for you to practice on your own? Great idea of writing down all the pro's and con's! Some sort of distraction is very helpful when practicing facing our fears. Great job, it will get easier every time! I do relate to postponing challenging things, that in my head are just 'minor things that I could change easily, not necessary to challenge therefore', but in reality are still things that keep the ED wires active in the brain. Good for you to challenge everything, not leave any little crumb of the ED behind!
I admire you so-o-o-o much. Baby steps right...I am no WAY where you are tho I go thru the same process as you did at the cafe' with EVERY thing I put into my mouth, even drinks for the past 40 yrs and compensate, compensate, compensate. My ex-husband calls it High Maintenance and whenever we ate out, wherever,
he’d apologize for or alert the host/server that I was high maintenance, like “When
Harry Met Sally”. That’s why things have to be “naked” so to speak so I can see
everything in it… No sauces, dsgs(I use some type of naked vinegar) I fear my brain will NEVER rewire… You have a lot to be proud of Meg!!! Good on you!!
I have exactly the same fears as you, literally identical. Salad dressing is like the devil - what an insane thought, but that’s exactly what I think. I go over and over in my head once the waitress leaves and want to run after her and change it as I’m second guessing the calories in it. Huge respect for going on your own too. I really respect you for challenging these things constantly.
Aww thanks love, I really hope this shows that it's not easy for me but I just do it anyway. Hope you're managing too. Who wants a life where dressing has to be ordered on the side / calculated / feared. Lots of love xxx
I relate to your struggles so so much! As horrible and hard as it is we CAN overcome this lovely! xo
Meg❤️sy You light up my soul every time 🙏🏻 You are the voice, the reminder I hear Everyday xx 😇
rita conte 💛💛💛💛💛
Literally just messeged you on Insta (Queenrosecohen) But MY GOD I'm so proud of you! Can't even put it into words. Just think about this for a second. Who ever in the history of humans, has ever fought hard for something and looked back, and said... Well that was easy. Nothing worth anything is easy, beautiful lady. But you are so strong, so capable and deserving of recovery. It might feel like sometimes it's winning because the voice is loud, but don't mistake those voices for strength, that's the screams of your ED getting weaker. You can survive without anorexia, your anorexia can't survive without you. Keep going Meg. You are doing so well!! Oh and I was legit in tears when you cried! I have felt that anxiety and pain before. You put yourself out there and so will I. I cried because it made me remember a time when I was so sick, my family had cooked me a beautiful breakfast, however like you I was petrified, as there were sauces, dressings, sides ect... So (This is so embarrassing) Ahhhh god. I did butt clenches under the table as we were all eating 😳😳😳😳 I mean holy shit! So weird! But you know, just more proof that anorexia is a thief of joy and sanity. Keep going beauty, I hope my confession made you feel a little more... I dunno I guess less alone in weird behaviours. Love love love Xxxx
Awwww thanks matey. Yeh, totally with you in the weird behaviors lol. I don't know how you're doing now but I find when I'm doing better and look back on memories like the butt clenches I'm like WTF!?!?!?! Once you have a bit of perspective on it it just seems so mental. Let's never go back there. I'll respond on insta too, lots of love xxxxx
Meg. I really appreciate your vulnerability. I use your opposite actions motto everyday. Thank you.
You're amazing. Such an inspiration
Great Job! Just keep doing it with different combinations and it will be just normal for you. Proud you challenged yourself. Keep going and reach your goals.
So helpful Meg. Thanks so much, I can relate to your food anxiety 100%. Really finding your videos incredibly helpful.
I totally recognize the anxiety you feel when ordering out and then the constant agony of having to wait for it (I can't focus on conversation with my friends or family during this time). But congratulations on the salad!
I am 37 and trying to break through my rules. It is sucks and scary!! Rooting for you!!
Megsy. I'm Anna, I'm from Italy, and I've been anorexic from more than 10 years (I'm 23). I'm struggling to recover now.
I just wanted to make you know that you are helping me a lot. THANK YOU. REALLY. 😘🌻🌈🎵
Meg could you do video about changing clothes/ not fitting In old ones?
Michaela Králiková yeh thats been a big struggle, I can think about it. I’ve actually found it really helpful recently to change what I’m wearing. I’ve been wearing dresses, skirts & leggings a lot more recently & I feel so much more comfortable in them
Megsy Recovery you mean these clothes are better than what? Jeans?
Michaela Králiková yes sorry
I've found a good pair of dungarees to be an absolute life saver! I got them a size too big just in case. I wear them SOOO much and sometimes will dress them up with a floaty blouse. It fits a chunky jumper under in cold weather and in the summer I can simply do a bit of exposure therapy and wear a crop top while feeling
g cool and less sticky.
It's probably a tricky one because clothes is sort of a personal thing and also part of our identity. I have found it so difficult to find "my style" since the weight gain. Not sure if you've come across it or not by Megsy did do a video on getting rid of clothes that no longer fit. :)
Sometimes when these thoughts creep into my brain before, during and after ordering at a restaurant I try to think about what my body really wants to eat at that moment. Sometimes I get swept away in the moment when I'm with friends or family dining out. When I'm dining alone, I think for me it's easier to listen to my internal voice and what I really want to eat. I understand what you mean when you're alone and the voices keep telling you to order something else and you end up ordering the same old same old and ordering dressing on the side or something like that. I think we just do the damn thing and move on. Do not analyze afterwards. You did great ordering and eating the lunch. We need to stop the analyzation and then it will lessen our anxieties. Know what I mean?
Thank you! So raw and so brave and helpful. You are an inspiration
Stay strong Meg, you're my hero! Love ya ❤
I'm so proud of your for trying!!!
4:07 but you DID IT ANYWAY, despite your fear and despite your anxiety. Keep going Megsy!
You are awesome, Meg!
you are so strong my goodness. i havent been able to make myself go out to eat yet. good luck with your new place to live :)
Thanks lovely, and for the support. Go out, you can do it!!! It gets easier and easier xxx
this made me want to also challenge myself today and I ate my biggest fear food too... falafels!!
Sonia Thehedgeohg good for you!!!! Keep challenging, they’ll get easier 😘
Sonia Thehedgeohg good for you!!!! Keep challenging, they’ll get easier 😘
Great video. Honest and real. Great job facing the salad again
I know, the damn dressing on the side. You are so strong for trying to challenge your final food rules👏🏼👏🏼 This is so hard💛💛👌🏼🌸
I had pizza (fear food and favourite food) last night and today I wanted to makeup for it but I'm still very hungry and want more carbs. watching your video really helped me. thank you for being candid and videoing your most vulnerable moments. the anxiety is so real it's suffocating I know. I just don't know how to deal with the body changes I experience after eating my fear foods. any thoughts and thank you Megs xx
I’m leaving for New York today, it’s me and my partners 5 year anniversary and I am determined to smash this trip! I want to see it as an experiment and eat freely and not let the ED come with me, we are there for 5 days so I figure what’s the worst that could happen in 5 days? I really enjoyed this video because you pushed through and you did it and I know I will have this same feeling all through the trip but I will definitely use the list idea and distractions is there anything else you’d recommend??? Xx
Awww I really hope you can enjoy it, I like that you say you know you'll have the same feeling during the trip. I think the reason I've struggled in the past is because I've felt guilty and so run back to my ED. Whereas actually the guilt is kind of to be expected, and it's more important to accept that it's a necessary part, feel it, and then just DO IT anyway. And then distract, which New York will be brilliant for!!! Enjoy it, you only live once!!! xxx
Made me sad watching you eat that but it made me so happy that you finished it, I hate this disorder and I wish there was no such thing.
like when you were talking about overthinking when the waiter left and changing your order multiple times I literally felt like I was talking :/
Edi I hate doing that so much. So embarrassing isn’t it 🙈
Yay well done Megsy, you’re a super star 🌟
You are a brave inspirational queen💖💖💖 From the bottom of my heart thank you😙
Well done. You are an inspiration to us all. xx
Thank you your videos helped me in recovery❤ thank you very much
What editor do you use? Thank you for these videos! You are so relatable and inspiring :)
Meg. You rock! Go you. You are so inspiring :-) xxx
You are so amazing 💓keep going xxx
You’re SO amazing! I am inspired to challenge myself after watching this! Fried fish fillet sandwich with tarter sauce and macaroni and cheese...here it goes...😖
Sophie mmmmm actually sounds great. Even if it’ll be hard first few times. Do it anyway 😘😘😘
Also, thank you so much for showing your vulnerability 💕
What helped me was to STOP paying so much attention to decisions that had already been made. Once you have ordered something, just stop thinking about it and force yourself as hard as you can to think about something else, or actually do something to distract yourself. Don´t analyze it. Read newspaper. Watch youtube. Listen to your favourite music. Call someone. I know it is against what we normally learn: you should focus on eating, don´t distract yourself... But those are rules for healthy people...
Tangerinka410 yeh I did find it so much better 2nd time to have some distraction, but I find it so hard to find a distraction that actually works 🤷♀️
@@megsyrecovery191 Tabitha Farrar says she now (fully recovered) eats quickly and mindlessly - exactly the opposite of what most people consider healthy! The problem is that most "healthy habits" are toxic for us who have struggled with EDs... I guess that the only way is repeat and repeat every day until it once gets easier. If 2nd time was better, then 50th time might be absolutely OK :-). Fingers crossed!
You are such an inspiration!
You are such an inspiration😚
Omg in Qatar it’s the exact same😱 It took me 5 hours just to get home from the mall one time! It was crazy! I faced one of my fear foods yesterday! I’m glad I did it. I don’t want to be free of food :)
So funny isn't it, they once announced in our office over the tannoy that we should go home because it was raining lol. WELL DONE!!!! Challenge repeat, it'll get easier xxx
thank you!!! This was SoOO incredibly inspiring
This is soooo helpful. And real. Do you exercise in your recovery meg? Something you dont talk about much x
Exercise has never really been a problem for me, other than when I was a teenager and used to throw myself round my room and do all sorts of mad things. I do get a lot of questions about it, but I feel a bit of a fraud talking about it x
Megsy Recovery I just wondered if it had changed in recovery because some people increase movement but glad you don't seem to of got caught up in that. Xx
Do you have a big breakfast and then a snack in the middle of the morning?
I am so with you; Know this fears and feelings....... you done so well,,, you Can be Proud 😘😘
Will you share your lists of pros and cons?