Making a hard decision? WATCH THIS | Dr. Ellen Langer

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  • Опубліковано 12 лют 2024
  • “Rather than waste your time being stressed over making the right decision, make the decision right.”
    An excerpt from my exchange with Harvard’s renowned ‘Mother of Mindfulness,’ Dr. Ellen Langer.
    In this exchange, Dr. Langer delves into the transformative potential of mindfulness for improving health. She dissects the power of belief, dispels the illusion of control, and offers a novel perspective on decision-making and manipulation. The discourse extends to the psychological construct of fatigue, demonstrating how mindfulness positively influences physical endurance.
    The discussion reveals intricate connections between the mind and body, providing practical tips and cutting-edge research to empower individuals to take control of their health and achieve enhanced well-being.
    bit.ly/richroll813
    ✌🏼🌱 - Rich

КОМЕНТАРІ • 990

  • @6iemei9
    @6iemei9 4 місяці тому +2532

    I learned this lesson as a young man and it has changed my life. Living indecisively is living with regret. Think over your choices carefully before deciding. Once you have made your choice, embrace it, accept the consequences, take responsibility for it and move forward. It will make you a stronger person.

  • @alexinwonderland6239
    @alexinwonderland6239 4 місяці тому +1468

    "Do what seems wise in the moment and learn to flow on." ~ Bruce Lee

  • @VGD1229
    @VGD1229 4 місяці тому +458

    It’s the solace that comes from accepting that just because it could have been different, doesn’t mean it would have been better.

    • @heidifaith2961
      @heidifaith2961 4 місяці тому +11

      Exactly!

    • @liddobear1125
      @liddobear1125 3 місяці тому +7

      I need to keep coming to this comment !!

    • @ninaalice2281
      @ninaalice2281 3 місяці тому +1

      But the things is sometimes we make a choice out of fear. And fear is holding us for experimenting further in life... Of course everything choice is fine. But some choices are holding you back from your great potential... And thats what makes me scared of making a decision 😅

  • @jeimeanne
    @jeimeanne 4 місяці тому +386

    “Make the decision right”. What I needed to hear today, I’ve been feeling stressed for days now. Thank you Dr. Ellen 🥹

    • @infiniteinspiration1628
      @infiniteinspiration1628 3 місяці тому +3

      Outstanding...own your decisions, actions, behaviours etc ❤❤❤❤you did the best in the moment 👏 🙌 ❤❤❤❤❤hellooooooooo

  • @coffeeandclothes
    @coffeeandclothes 4 місяці тому +404

    “Regret is so mindless” profound 🥺

    • @lenitacrueger895
      @lenitacrueger895 3 місяці тому +1

      Amen! Too bad I learned this so late in life.

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 2 місяці тому

      Until your living last years single. 🤦‍♀️😂.

    • @rene3759
      @rene3759 2 місяці тому +2

      @@Portia620 regret still remain single. there are people miserable in their marriages stuck in them all their life wastedn in misery. people have kids, even grand kids who rarely or never. There are old peopl dying alone with no people around them. Romantic relationships are not the only relationships and bonds you make in life. In the country i am living is adult adoption is legal. friendship make great communitzy as well same as having your already born in family. The only people who truly die alone and are desperate for a relationship and kids are those who dont have good coomunity to begin with dont have good and strong bond with their family (siblings, cousins, nieces, nefews etc.) those who dont have good and strong bonds with friends, dont have a community around them that is supportive (neighbours, aquintances from hobbies, co workers etc) and pets. its actuallzy harmful to only focus on one type of relationship. people need a village and a big support system as not to exhaust their bonds.

  • @easyflowing
    @easyflowing 4 місяці тому +470

    That's what my husband always does. He never makes wrong decisions because he finds "rightness" in them. Learning from him feels really good.

    • @bianchaesson1441
      @bianchaesson1441 3 місяці тому +14

      How beautiful!!❤❤❤😊

    • @welennelew9866
      @welennelew9866 3 місяці тому +9

      There's no mistake, only happy accidents

    • @Meeeeeergo
      @Meeeeeergo 3 місяці тому +3

      Learning from your partner, sounds like you have a healthy relationship! ❤ I hope he gets to learn from you too 😊

    • @easyflowing
      @easyflowing 3 місяці тому +9

      @@Meeeeeergo oh yes, he definitely learns from me. He is much better at hearing me now, compared to how he was at the beginning of our relationship. Although, I learned how to communicate with him in a way he can hear me. It's a never-ending process.

    • @jelcoleys8087
      @jelcoleys8087 3 місяці тому +1

      That’s called coping.

  • @anthonytaylor4607
    @anthonytaylor4607 4 місяці тому +256

    She just saved me the next 5, 10, 20, maybe even 30 years of my life to figure this out on my own, in just 30 seconds.

    • @Israelb7616
      @Israelb7616 4 місяці тому +15

      Don't randomly choose, get God involved, and ask him first.

    • @Amanita._.Verosa._.
      @Amanita._.Verosa._. 3 місяці тому +14

      And you did too. Ironically, you made the choice to stay and listen. And it was a damn fine choice.

    • @bianchaesson1441
      @bianchaesson1441 3 місяці тому

      ​@@Israelb7616 Now THAT has helped me tremendously!! Even in simplistic decisions!

    • @RichardHernandez-mq4kw
      @RichardHernandez-mq4kw 2 місяці тому

      ​@@Israelb7616I don't think he answers lol

  • @Seasoncromwell
    @Seasoncromwell 4 місяці тому +583

    I get decision fatigue. This is peaceful.

    • @Nusaiba89
      @Nusaiba89 4 місяці тому +12

      Are you a Libra

    • @ebazileyes1475
      @ebazileyes1475 3 місяці тому +1

      ​@@Nusaiba89😂

    • @Soul.Is.Willing
      @Soul.Is.Willing 3 місяці тому +2

      Yes I want to drive my life with this motto.

    • @annefischer1433
      @annefischer1433 3 місяці тому +12

      Decision making can be fatiguing that is for sure. But rather than twisting our fingers or rolling our hands, take a deep breath and drink some water. Make a list of pros and cons imagine results or Consequences for each choice and then make a choice. Not making a choice will leave you feeling very indifferent and not honoring yourself. Not to decide is to decide.

    • @gwynnethcoan761
      @gwynnethcoan761 3 місяці тому +1

      @@Nusaiba89I am! Decisions are the bane of my life!

  • @patrickhoiland2806
    @patrickhoiland2806 3 місяці тому +189

    I became disabled at 42. For the last 13 years I’ve been envious of other people’s lives!!! A lot of time, because they are giving me advice in what to do!!! I’m doing me, I’m doing my best for what I have now!!! That’s good enough after hearing this!!! I don’t need to be rich, spinning my wheels all the time. I’ve been afforded to take life a little slower!!!

    • @derekroberts5931
      @derekroberts5931 3 місяці тому +6

      I'm making another youtube channel. It deals with the problems of disabilities ( the pay ) and health and fitness ( not steroids ).
      I just have thus channel up for comments. But if you want to add me and just post on a vid, idk my last 1 from years a ago. I'll let you know when that channel goes up.
      I'm an epidemiologist and corrective exercise specialist with concentrations in genetics and health informatics. I forgot to mention I almost clinically died twice. I now bench 305 lbs. I'm not saying that's you. I'm saying I've documented my dating life and wink incorporate that. I want to help others and bring awareness through my mind and body.
      Basically I've been the patient, live it everyday, but have taken care if patients in clinical and studied the books. However, as you know...nothing replaces that life experience. I'm trying to bring true Health and fitness back to youtube. BTW I have an ileostomy. Wish you well bro.

    • @kasiastar552
      @kasiastar552 3 місяці тому +4

      You are such a beautiful soul ❤️❤️❤️

    • @IvySnowFillyVideos
      @IvySnowFillyVideos 3 місяці тому +6

      Do you...nobody knows better than you ❤

    • @nyc631
      @nyc631 2 місяці тому

      If hard to decide there’s a reason for it. Identify it than you solve the puzzle

  • @extendedlimits
    @extendedlimits 4 місяці тому +94

    That's beautiful, whatever decision you choose make the best of it

    • @richardjaffe9972
      @richardjaffe9972 4 місяці тому +6

      Amour fati. Love and embrace your fate. Radically accept what is real unless maybe there is something you can do to prevent unnecessary suffering. 😢

  • @joannamarza
    @joannamarza 3 місяці тому +34

    Lots of people live in regrets and when she said “regret is mindless”she is so right!

  • @bartoszroszak4672
    @bartoszroszak4672 4 місяці тому +207

    Imagine having teachers like this 😢

    • @trenae77
      @trenae77 3 місяці тому +5

      I did! It made life SO much easier to take. My life now is nothing how I pictured it, but if it had gone as I had imagined. I would not be in the place to support my parents as I have these past years when they need it most.

    • @n-silvabts9178
      @n-silvabts9178 3 місяці тому +1

      I think most teachers frequently give good advice, but students tend to not care about those pieces of advice as teachers aren't respected by society (including parents).

    • @ilovebeinagirl
      @ilovebeinagirl 3 місяці тому

      Imagine having PARENTS like this!!!!

  • @danmerjo1874
    @danmerjo1874 4 місяці тому +333

    This is absolutely brilliant! An absolute game changer to stop wasting time on past decisions and move forward powerfully.

    • @LoStone1981
      @LoStone1981 4 місяці тому +8

      "Move forward powerfully" 🎉

    • @shantalmoto8502
      @shantalmoto8502 4 місяці тому +11

      Move on like yesterday never existed. Decisions Made, face it. Enjoy the ups and downs. It is called LIFE.

    • @Yasmeen-pd9zr
      @Yasmeen-pd9zr 4 місяці тому +4

      Goodness! Just what I needed to hear today!

    • @vijchgk
      @vijchgk 3 місяці тому +3

      So many of us with issues in letting go , needed to hear this

  • @catherinevaughan7522
    @catherinevaughan7522 4 місяці тому +46

    “There is no green grass.” At times, this has been my way to cope. We bring our triggers and reactivity with us wherever we go.
    Accept, forgive, learn, and love.

  • @julie2x
    @julie2x 4 місяці тому +54

    I need to listen to this every day

  • @anahidkassabian4471
    @anahidkassabian4471 3 місяці тому +35

    Bravissima. I figured out fairly young that I didn’t want to live with regret, so I do the best I can to collect info unobsessively, then make a reasoned decision, and anytime regret seems like it might be creeping in, I remind myself that I made the best decision I could with the information I had available. All done. Anything else is a waste of time and energy.

    • @shuxiaowang
      @shuxiaowang 3 місяці тому +1

      ❤❤❤I also have this philosophy

  • @laeeqlaeeq9788
    @laeeqlaeeq9788 4 місяці тому +220

    This lady has a wonderful energy.

    • @donnajohnson3334
      @donnajohnson3334 4 місяці тому +3

      This is exactly how I think about things.
      To do otherwise is a huge waste of energy.

    • @ebazileyes1475
      @ebazileyes1475 3 місяці тому +2

      She do

  • @user-cc7qg6rt7n
    @user-cc7qg6rt7n 3 місяці тому +20

    I agree completely! Do it, just do it and live with the consequences, right or wrong, you will have no regrets!!!

    • @KGG2
      @KGG2 Місяць тому

      Thats complete bullshit… we would be pretty screwed if everyone thought like that. The world would be riddled with crime

  • @Freetoughts
    @Freetoughts 4 місяці тому +23

    We all die that’s the only guarantee in life. Sometimes you need to get out of your comfort zone and just go for it. Only then you will know what the outcome will be. You will always learn something.

  • @Sssssss527
    @Sssssss527 4 місяці тому +32

    Such valuable information. Exactly. Regret is a waste. Much like guilt. Or worry.

    • @KGG2
      @KGG2 Місяць тому

      Yeah absolutely. Guilt is such a waste. I hope none of those people in prison ever feel guilty for their acts, just live your life mate!

  • @Durhamred69
    @Durhamred69 3 місяці тому +8

    That is such a good lesson to learn. Thinking about the choices not taken can lead to so much anxiety and make you miss what’s about to come around the corner for you. So moral of the story, just live your life.

  • @lindseyw9192
    @lindseyw9192 4 місяці тому +49

    I think this needs more thought…there are people who plow ahead in life and don’t think through their decisions enough but then act surprised when things don’t turn out well and in those cases, the chances of the alternative being better are much more higher and u can presume it…I have someone in my life that does this and the cleanup goes to everyone around her and she’s constantly stuck in her bad decisions. You can definitely make a bad decision, BUT if u do your best and are honest with yourself about what you can manage….then that’s all u can do. If you’ve thought it through and there’s nothing left to consider other than repeating the same thoughts in your head…THEN just randomly choose

    • @sierrasky2491
      @sierrasky2491 3 місяці тому +10

      I think her point is that there's only so much thinking you can do in your own mind. You just have to randomly pick something and go with it. If it ends up badly that's okay you just become a stronger person and move on

    • @TM-se5jf
      @TM-se5jf 3 місяці тому +5

      You missed her point my dear. You have to make a decision so instead of spending way too much time doing do simply make one and embrace it. I think that's her ultimate point

    • @gildahobbs8829
      @gildahobbs8829 3 місяці тому +4

      I agree. The way she phrased it sounds like doing research or extrapolating from experience is not a good idea or even not possible

    • @itruthseek
      @itruthseek 2 місяці тому +2

      ​@@gildahobbs8829exactly. I am shocked by the fact that people are agreeing with her basically saying "yesh just do whatever and don't look back". She seems to be embodying it by saying dumb shit.

    • @KGG2
      @KGG2 Місяць тому +3

      You’re correct and what she says is nonsense. People make bad choices all the time, prisons are full of those people. Regret is essential to life, and people need to know they make mistakes and choose the wrong things

  • @DocLucy
    @DocLucy 3 місяці тому +15

    “.. because the choice you didn’t take you’re presuming would have been better.” WISE WORDS!🙌🏻

  • @NatashaNardini
    @NatashaNardini 4 місяці тому +56

    I’ve been looking for a sign from God on making a decision on leaving my husband after domestic violence and this was truly a sign an answer. I couldn’t make a decision and I just need to. Thank you for this ❤

    • @ginacamille8414
      @ginacamille8414 3 місяці тому +2

      ❤❤❤

    • @summersojourner
      @summersojourner 3 місяці тому +14

      Please leave your abuser. Do it ASAP. DO NOT tell him, make it as quick and simple as possible. Don’t worry about possessions; gather your important documents and leave. I wish you the best.

    • @bianchaesson1441
      @bianchaesson1441 3 місяці тому +10

      I wish you all the best!! I've been through it all! One thing is certain, we come out stronger.
      One thing I like to add: I have no idea of your age or life wishes but, if you ever meet another man who you think is lovely, please give yourself time, like months at least, to get to know him well and NO SEX!! Not YET!! That's where we so often go so wrong.
      If he accepts that condition you'll see that he's good, if not, you'll soon discover whether he's controlling or not!!
      He will almost 100% show his true colours.

    • @lenitacrueger895
      @lenitacrueger895 3 місяці тому +2

      Sending you love & strength!❤

    • @boomerjamify
      @boomerjamify 3 місяці тому +5

      I feel like leaving a terrible person is a decision you will not regret. I wish you the best of luck.

  • @benjigirl1971
    @benjigirl1971 4 місяці тому +106

    Rather than a random choice between options, I think a better twist on this is to make the best decision you can based on what you know, and what the fallout will possibly be….then stick to it without ‘buyers remorse’. In my family we call this “not looking in the rear-view mirror”.

    • @kaliplaya86
      @kaliplaya86 4 місяці тому +5

      You still miss the point. Now you’re playing the mind games.

    • @benjigirl1971
      @benjigirl1971 4 місяці тому +6

      @@kaliplaya86 what part don’t you understand? Is it too subtle a paradigm shift for you?

    • @lillyfox2537
      @lillyfox2537 4 місяці тому +1

      @@benjigirl1971THE BURN 😂

    • @lillyfox2537
      @lillyfox2537 4 місяці тому

      Im gonna use this

    • @lisab898
      @lisab898 4 місяці тому

      @@kaliplaya86yup, failing listen, then commenting on their assumption.

  • @christinanevils3376
    @christinanevils3376 3 місяці тому +8

    I agree totally! That's why I pray God let it be your will & not my own! Why cause my will has never worked out, cause I know not what is good for me!!!

  • @trudy285
    @trudy285 3 місяці тому +14

    She is correct! 👍
    Someone that l used to know asked me one time after l retired : "Don't you have any regrets?" My answer was : "None." I have never had any regrets in my life. Why should l ?" (Brightest Blessings to whomever chooses to read this!)
    ☺️✌️❤️🦋🙏

  • @suzaneveiga2023
    @suzaneveiga2023 4 місяці тому +20

    It is such a relief to know that the choice we made was the decision right.

    • @KGG2
      @KGG2 Місяць тому

      Its not a relief, its complete nonsense. It implies there is no such thing as a mistake which is completely untrue. We make bad and worse choices all the time, we make mistakes all the time. This mindset would imply that all crimes and bad deeds committed by people are right by virtue of them having been made

  • @kathystclair9485
    @kathystclair9485 3 місяці тому +13

    At 67 this one thing I know for sure. I do not regret having my 3 daughters in my 20's and being a stay at home mother and wife! There could be no career worth more than those precious jewels in my life, whom now have give us 6 granddaughters and 1 great granddaughter. I've never wasted a minute thinking I wish I would have taken a different route in my life!

    • @KGG2
      @KGG2 Місяць тому

      There probably was a career or a life worth not having them - you just won’t know.

  • @seekingshore
    @seekingshore 3 місяці тому +3

    We can't undo yesterday, we can't control tomorrow. But what we can, is to do our best for today for a better tomorrow🌻

  • @cristinamarrone8515
    @cristinamarrone8515 3 місяці тому +7

    I think following your instinct and your heart is the better way to live despite people's opinions

  • @Juniper_berries
    @Juniper_berries 3 місяці тому +8

    This is wonderful advice. I have people in my life who like to tell me that I'm lucky. I always answer that I am where I am as a direct result of my choices. That I have chosen this life, and it is a blessing every day to know that. That same thought helps me get through when things get hard.

  • @CarlZend
    @CarlZend 3 місяці тому +14

    Agree with most of what Dr Ellen Langer says, except about regret.
    To a limited extent regret is necessary.
    Don’t beat yourself up with it, but we must be in a self correcting mode to look back at a nasty decision and say to ourselves, I regret having done this.

    • @hellennkani2406
      @hellennkani2406 3 місяці тому +1

      You don't have to beat yourself down to learn from your mistakes.

    • @ThisIsNotMyHome
      @ThisIsNotMyHome 2 місяці тому

      Not exactly.. realize that your choice atm didn't serve you or someone else to the greater good, recognize the actions you took to create outcome, and don't regret it.. that keeps you from fully evolving from it. There's a hang up, inner conflict- that is causing the feeling of regrets. Instead, learn from it, use a particular decision/experience, or action as a lesson to grow from. Without it occurring, your attention might not have been brought to an issue within yourself that needs a little work. That it was the not so pleasant experience that allowed you to have this new insight. Therefore, you can acknowledge your shortcoming and see why or how it came to be, how it wasn't beneficial, and what you can now do to keep that from happening again. Acknowledge, personal accountability, reflection, and new perspective/action (positive change). Depending upon what it is, the whole process may take some time to explore with self honesty and reflection. Then give gratitude, not regret, for the original experience and any suffering that occurred as a result. There are much needed lessons often found in times of suffering. But when you evolve from it, you'll have a much deeper understanding and profound appreciation that simply wouldn't exist on that level, if not for the suffering you had to first endure to bring forth fruition. Transform the regret into growth/ betterment.. being thankful for the opportunity given to do so. There's no room for regret in that equation. It allows you to also forgive yourself so that you can truly learn and grow. Often times, we forgive others, even when they aren't sorry or ask for it, as a way for us to move past an incident.. for us to heal. But sometimes we don't forgive ourselves (like when for the first time, we become aware of our actions having an unpleasant/negative impact on another person, and we weren't aware of this when the incident took place- so then comes accountability, and then remorse.)- this is where the suffering state can come into play. Then we have to reflect on why we did the action, which can be a deeply rooted issue- possibly having nothing to do with that person directly. We have to forgive ourselves to release any strands of suffering (unfinished lessons) remaining. I once had to do this process 3 times over the course of several months before fully forgiving myself. It may be harder when the other person isn't available and it's one sided. We have to find our resolution, without any help. Anyways, I kept having to revisit this process because from time to time I would think about it and feel bad about my choices\actions. Which is the subconscious trying to get your attention that issue isn't resolved afterall like you thought. I had to work through why I wasn't able to fully forgive myself.. deal with underlying issue, and then have sincere gratitude for all that prolonged suffering and original incident, because without it, I wouldn't have come out on the other side, having accomplished lessons I was obliviously ignorant of during original incident.. it caused a significant shift within me for the better, changing my perspective with myself and that of others. No regrets. Gratitude for weathering the storm that cleared the way for skies of serenity. Sorry for rambling on and on, but sometimes when someone else says something that differs from our current perspective, we can't fully comprehend what they mean, if we're not already familiar with it. So explaining the process can have it make sense and shift our perspectives with that understanding. And if not, that's ok too. Maybe the timing of message isn't in alignment with your/our current needs.

    • @KGG2
      @KGG2 Місяць тому

      You’re absolutely correct. Regret is essential to learning and improvement. If you don’t understand that people can make mistakes, you cannot learn and that is a very very dangerous place to be

    • @nikkicalton2148
      @nikkicalton2148 11 днів тому

      That assumes it was nasty. It's not a mistake if you learn from it.

    • @CarlZend
      @CarlZend 10 днів тому

      @@nikkicalton2148 True.

  • @lauramccann18
    @lauramccann18 4 місяці тому +24

    But we have God and his Holy Spirit to guide us in every decision through revelation 💙

  • @dianachern4234
    @dianachern4234 4 місяці тому +8

    Think 100 times before getting married, because this will impact your life, your health and your future

  • @josephinemckernan3376
    @josephinemckernan3376 4 місяці тому +12

    brilliant , so right whatever decision you made at that time run with it it’s where your meant to be

    • @KGG2
      @KGG2 Місяць тому +1

      Its nonsense when you really think about it though. Im not sure you actually want to believe it because it leads to some pretty crazy conclusions, especially for those people who sit in prison

  • @Shrooblord
    @Shrooblord 3 місяці тому +3

    Additionally, every single experience shapes you to become the person you are now. I've been through some rough crap, but I wouldn't un-experience it. I am who I am because of it

  • @Ssmm321
    @Ssmm321 4 місяці тому +5

    I have spent a good portion of my adult life, not regretting but in guilt wondering what life would be if I had made a different choice. This happens to kids who were raised with guilt as a parenting tool and made to feel bad over every decision that was not theirs. I am so tired of wondering even when my current decision is not wrong by any means.

    • @ThisIsNotMyHome
      @ThisIsNotMyHome 2 місяці тому

      Then the issue is more internal. Dealing with that childhood trauma. You're at conflict with yourself because subconscious is trying to bring awareness to your conscious mind. But that requires a bit of self exploration and reflection to find specific issues.. and then learning how to accept, forgive (including yourself), have personal accountability for the present, and to create change within to benefit you wholly- conflict resolved and having a peaceful mind.

  • @irenejohansen1370
    @irenejohansen1370 3 місяці тому +1

    Helps me get on with the big decisions I just made, and all the little ones that follow as a consequence. Thank you. 😊

  • @oksanalebrun5476
    @oksanalebrun5476 3 місяці тому +1

    Grateful for hearing your wisdom today!!!

  • @vendingdudes
    @vendingdudes 4 місяці тому +6

    This gives deeper meaning to the story of Lot's wife.

  • @cherylharding509
    @cherylharding509 4 місяці тому +32

    God, I really needed to hear this. Thank you!!!!

    • @MyParis8
      @MyParis8 3 місяці тому

      Me too. Makes things feel lighter

  • @merlin8675309
    @merlin8675309 3 місяці тому +2

    A lesson I learned is to 'try the decision on' Mentally assume you made a decision one way and think about the resulting emotion. If needed, flip the decision and wear that one. It often works for big and small decisions.

  • @abirita7283
    @abirita7283 3 місяці тому +1

    There is a study in psychology that showed that once you choose something, the other option looks more appealing.
    So, regardless of what you choose, we tend to think about what we "missed" as better.
    When I learned that, I stopped wasting too much time deciding and stopped regretting.

  • @ausguy5052
    @ausguy5052 4 місяці тому +4

    "Regret Can Only Misery Beget ™ ©" THIS IS PROFOUND

  • @kristinapaxton9686
    @kristinapaxton9686 4 місяці тому +4

    Some things like an education course or job you just have to do it to know if it’s right for you.

  • @hannahguada1768
    @hannahguada1768 3 місяці тому +2

    This here! I counsel people on this all the time. Make a decision and forget about the other options and give your all to the decision you made because the other options don't exist when you move forward. ❤❤❤

    • @KGG2
      @KGG2 Місяць тому

      Hopefully you also remind them that this decision shouldn’t involve hurting others

  • @Oliver-on9fs
    @Oliver-on9fs 5 днів тому +1

    100%
    Whether or not I attempted to hold my narcissistic mother accountable, she still would have smeared my name.
    I don't regret exposing her. It showed me what wasn't for me. ❤

  • @alexinwonderland6239
    @alexinwonderland6239 4 місяці тому +9

    "The data for a decision in any given situation is infinite. So what you do is you go through the motions of thinking what you will do about this. And then when the time comes to act, you make a snap judgement." ~ Alan Watts

  • @shauna2285
    @shauna2285 4 місяці тому +32

    I need to use your philosophy starting from NOW..! ❤❤❤

  • @emmabunch-benson4795
    @emmabunch-benson4795 3 місяці тому +1

    This is so true! Choose & the universe conspires for you either way! There is no losing really, only winning or learning

  • @lsr2937
    @lsr2937 3 місяці тому +1

    After a difficult break-up of a long relationship I decided that I was not going to what-if my life away. I made the decisions I did and I have to live with them and move forward. If that break-up didn’t happen I wouldn’t be happily married to a wonderful man and the mother of our two children. I have an incredible life and I wouldn’t change a thing. I think this is kind of the same attitude ❤

  • @nicovgz1897
    @nicovgz1897 4 місяці тому +11

    I like this lady’s energy. She seems unapologetic and old fashioned

  • @xKimberrypiex
    @xKimberrypiex 4 місяці тому +16

    Go hard or go home. lol I recently told my son something similar because he was caught in the middle between two women, and didn’t know who to choose, and I told him that once he chose to not ever think about the one he didn’t choose and to just tell himself that it was the happiest choice he ever made and to love her in the best way he can and to not ever look back because If he tells himself, he’s happy and he will be happy and he will make everyone else around him happy and you just simply cannot have two people sitting on the back burner waiting for you. He had to make a choice and let one go.

  • @pennyrobinson4266
    @pennyrobinson4266 3 місяці тому +2

    Some mistakes became bigger mistakes when you strive to make a mistake the “right” mistake. If you make the mistake that you regret, admit it, face it, and consider all options. If abandoning it will not cause undue harm to others, try something else. That is freedom.

  • @denissemedina4619
    @denissemedina4619 2 місяці тому +1

    “You did your best with what you had” that’s what I tell myself and tbh I have no regrets in my life. I’m at peace

  • @eka9671
    @eka9671 3 місяці тому +3

    One of the best things I have ever heard

  • @Nonye_oj
    @Nonye_oj 4 місяці тому +10

    This is literally where the Holy Spirit comes in

  • @DeniSoars
    @DeniSoars 3 місяці тому +1

    This is perspective of just letting go and living is supremely healing for indecisives

  • @Aharaleb
    @Aharaleb 3 місяці тому +1

    Best advice ever!
    My teacher and friend Yiftach Sagiv told me once... Most people are busy "making the right choice" while I shall be busy "making my choice right". The only caviat I can add to it from my experience is to make sure to have feedback systems that will protect you from becoming self-righteous like any religious person that stops looking and listening to reality. So be right and stay open!
    Thanks for sharing ❤

  • @adamking6005
    @adamking6005 4 місяці тому +4

    Make an educated choice, then stick to it and don't look back.
    Accept your burden, whatever that might be.
    Roll with the punches.
    Be grateful.

  • @jazzsoul1695
    @jazzsoul1695 3 місяці тому +4

    A great book called FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY, by Dr Susan Jeffers PhD. Whole chapter on " how to make a no lose decision!

  • @letsthinkbriefly3761
    @letsthinkbriefly3761 3 місяці тому +1

    That being said make decisions based on reality for best possible outcomes.

  • @KatyWithAWhyyy
    @KatyWithAWhyyy 4 дні тому

    "The choice you didn't take you're presuming would have been better." Whew. Amazing thought exercise. ❤

  • @Rashmi_bagri
    @Rashmi_bagri 3 місяці тому +4

    Sometimes the universe speaks to you in unexpected ways.

  • @saraswati1386
    @saraswati1386 3 місяці тому +3

    This is sooooo powerful. Thank you

    • @KGG2
      @KGG2 Місяць тому

      How is this powerful?

  • @ewaoconnor7013
    @ewaoconnor7013 4 місяці тому +2

    Choose what gives you peace. That's how God advises us on which option is best.

  • @isab958
    @isab958 4 місяці тому +1

    Beautifully said. I came here to find if anyone had dictated her words - couldn’t find them so here they are which I’ve added to my notes. Just listening has eased my mind with decisions I needed to make. “Rather than waste your time being stressed over making the right decision, make the decision right.”

  • @SparkTheGenius
    @SparkTheGenius 4 місяці тому +4

    My whole life has been ruined by being afraid to make decisions, like not marrying any of my girlfriends because I wasn't sure they were the one. Now I'm 51 and I'm completely alone.

    • @SweetStuffOnMonarchLane
      @SweetStuffOnMonarchLane 3 місяці тому +3

      Don't live in regret now though. There's nothing you can do about the past except not let it ruin your future. Go out and find a nice woman to spend your life with. There are LOTS of lonely people out there... be proactive and connect with someone who needs love just like you. You won't find her if you don't try.

  • @tatianas5637
    @tatianas5637 4 місяці тому +4

    Dont choose randomly. Let your unconscious help you decide

  • @diannespalding6542
    @diannespalding6542 3 місяці тому +1

    Wise words! I always say to people, you made the best decision at the time. My complicated life taught me that.

  • @GabrielaRodriguez-pv4uq
    @GabrielaRodriguez-pv4uq 2 місяці тому

    She makes it really easy to make a decision . It has help me tremendously to know that you just make your decision right.

  • @angellabriscoe9268
    @angellabriscoe9268 3 місяці тому +8

    Can't cry over spilled milk. The Bible says: All things work together for good to them that loves the Lord. ❤

  • @santiagocruz9426
    @santiagocruz9426 4 місяці тому +3

    No, you know. There are repercussions to our choices. Your scenario has no repercussions. Going to one Ivy League school over another is not the same as going to a trade school or to a Community College

  • @kelflo67
    @kelflo67 Місяць тому

    You Absolutely 💯 % correct! Humans spend more of their time focussing On what they could’ve should’ve or didn’t do, instead of just accepting what happened and going with it. Life is too short to have regrets, about what you did or didn’t do. Nothing will change the past and only we can change the current moment in the future. Thanks for the reminder! ❤

  • @sierrasky2491
    @sierrasky2491 3 місяці тому +1

    Wow. Just wow. She's right!

  • @GGLD888
    @GGLD888 4 місяці тому +9

    If only i had heard this when i was 10

  • @pamelawoodsum8608
    @pamelawoodsum8608 4 місяці тому +7

    I needed to hear this today thank you

  • @vijchgk
    @vijchgk 3 місяці тому

    The most beautiful advice ever spoken. Plus it's immortal,as it's timeless across so many paradigms

  • @richardjaffe9972
    @richardjaffe9972 4 місяці тому +2

    It doesn’t do anyone any good regretting but it certainly would be even worse to not recognize or deny or not learn from our mistakes.😊

    • @ThisIsNotMyHome
      @ThisIsNotMyHome 2 місяці тому

      When we learn from it, there's no regrets if someone uses the opportunity for growth. Then they are thankful for using a "poor" decision to self reflect and process and deal with shortcomings that tied into the equation, but weren't obviously so at the original time of incident. So they can use the not so favorable outcome as a way to favor them in the long run. The feelings of regret are just the subconscious way of bringing to conscious awareness that we have inner conflict that needs addressing- that's the real source of regrets.

    • @richardjaffe9972
      @richardjaffe9972 2 місяці тому

      @@ThisIsNotMyHome I believe we are always just doing the best we can at that particular time. Even if we made the same mistake over again knowing we had told ourselves we would learn from it I still don’t see the sense of regretting it. Not sure how that would help and cert could see the harm. We need self compassion and forgiveness. Radical acceptance. 👍

  • @marshadamjanovich6508
    @marshadamjanovich6508 4 місяці тому +3

    This is brilliant. I need to watch the whole episode.

  • @kierlak
    @kierlak 4 місяці тому +22

    Getting married or not ? It's a serious decision. Same with the job. We shouldn't rush into those things. Sometimes it's good to spend some time alone, quiet the mind, and listen to your heart/intuition. We can't "randomly" choose. Comparing them with choosing a chocolate bar ?
    I mean I get what she means in a way. We have to try different things. Such as let's say: "Shall I go on a date with this person ?" Sure, go for it, it's only a date. No commitment required. Choosing university: sure, as long you know what you want to study it's not that big of a deal. With career: also, but again as long as choices are similar, you know what you want to try, you know your values, skills.
    Overall it's bad advice in my view: "randomly choose"
    And with regret; it's not like we regret making a decision and other option would have been better. We don't regret things like that. We usually regret of not making a choice at all.
    I really don't like this video. Huge fan of the podcast but this one I not my cup of tea

    • @7163rose
      @7163rose 4 місяці тому +7

      I agree with you… Mainly, because whatever choice you make if it didn’t turn out, you can make another choice… I mean there’s divorce there is moving to another location there is moving to another school. There is possibility in everything… And so I believe in making a decision if it’s not working out make another one change don’t stay that way And live wishing and hoping you would’ve made a different decision…. I believe take responsibility for your choices and there’s no shame in the school of hard knocks if it wasn’t the right one… Wake up and make another one.🙌💕☮️❤️

    • @CaseyRyan
      @CaseyRyan 4 місяці тому +2

      Thank you. People in the comments agreeing that this is good advice is absurd.

    • @calmingbabysleep1256
      @calmingbabysleep1256 4 місяці тому +10

      I can see both points of view. I am an over thinker and it leads to analysis paralysis or loosing out/ opportunity cost. I think she it talking to people like me. Sometimes you need to jump and trust that your wings will grow. I don't think she is talking to the reckless people who already don't think things through. Those people would probably benefit from your advice.

    • @Freetoughts
      @Freetoughts 4 місяці тому +2

      @@calmingbabysleep1256exactly ❤ I feel u

    • @adamking6005
      @adamking6005 4 місяці тому +4

      There's a balance. You simply can't make a perfect choice, all you CAN do is work to make your choice the right one. Of course, you have to make an educated choice. She's just using hyperbole to make the point.

  • @Smwilll6100
    @Smwilll6100 3 місяці тому +1

    Yep. Truth. No time machine available to go back and try the other choice and see what that choice would have been.
    Just live

  • @randiclark1
    @randiclark1 3 місяці тому +2

    Correct and SIMPLE for most.

  • @ashpiredliving
    @ashpiredliving 4 місяці тому +9

    I LOVE THIS

  • @ri3rb
    @ri3rb 4 місяці тому +3

    so true!! wise lady

  • @user-st6nt4ou6f
    @user-st6nt4ou6f 3 місяці тому +1

    Thank you so much! I struggle with this almost everyday. This really helps me. 😢😢

  • @Singinbluebird
    @Singinbluebird 3 місяці тому +1

    This is so beautiful and powerful. Thank you 💯🙏

  • @vrunner6793
    @vrunner6793 4 місяці тому +6

    Thank you that’s how I have been acting

    • @ash9x9
      @ash9x9 4 місяці тому

      and it is common sense

  • @aubreysnyder338
    @aubreysnyder338 4 місяці тому +4

    Wow. Perspective

  • @pe9147
    @pe9147 2 місяці тому +1

    Reminds me of the quote: I'll never know, and neither will you, of the life you don't choose. We'll only know that whatever that sister life was, it was important and beautiful and not ours. It was the ghost ship that didn't carry us. There's nothing to do but salute it from the shore.” - Cheryl Strayed

  • @MsCoachMickey
    @MsCoachMickey 3 місяці тому +1

    Agree. No regrets!

    • @KGG2
      @KGG2 Місяць тому

      Presumably you wouldn’t want someone sitting in prison for their dumb and evil choices think like that. Rehabilitation would be impossible then….

  • @Delphinus24
    @Delphinus24 4 місяці тому +3

    HOLY WORDS!!❤❤❤

  • @10thMorales
    @10thMorales 4 місяці тому +7

    “Do not say, ‘Why were the former days better than these?’ for it is not out of wisdom that you ask this.”
    -Ecclesiastes 7:10.🕊️

  • @tnijoo5109
    @tnijoo5109 4 місяці тому +1

    Wow. Mind blown right now.

  • @kerrystonec2485
    @kerrystonec2485 3 місяці тому

    This ladies words are so true..no regrets ever..❤

  • @daniellevy2272
    @daniellevy2272 4 місяці тому +4

    Perfect.

  • @gemmadidit4118
    @gemmadidit4118 4 місяці тому +21

    🥺...whaaaat😃? I can't tell you how much better this makes me feel😆!

    • @gemmadidit4118
      @gemmadidit4118 3 місяці тому

      The good thing about someone liking my comments is that it makes me revisit the source. Listening to this again was equally comforting🤗. It helps me to appreciate what I have as opposed to missing or regretting what I don't have. Life is just one big glass of lemonade. The SUGAR is up to me😁...

  • @CrazedTacoEater852
    @CrazedTacoEater852 4 місяці тому +2

    This is why we need moral foundation for decision making. For example, having children is virtuous. And it is immoral and wrong to regret having children.

  • @QueenM19
    @QueenM19 3 місяці тому +1

    Thank you ! There is not a way to know that the other choice is better or not ! Very wise words ! ❤🙏

    • @KGG2
      @KGG2 Місяць тому

      Really? Like, I think that its very clear that someone who decides to go and kill someone makes a worse choice than someone who doesn’t…