Re: when to allow an abuser back in your life... I really like how you approached this. A manipulator that is not working on himself will push you to get his way. He will say and do things that look like change short-term, but I feel like the key is looking at long term change... months, even years, depending on how long you've been in the relationship. Do not give the person credit for short term change (days, weeks). Manipulators will try to fool you to get you sucked back in. Been there, done that. We need to use wisdom as women of God, have a few trusted friends to turn to for support before we make these big decisions.
Thank you so much for this!! My husband 100 percent. It's been a battle, but I confront and address the issues. He likes to save face and spins the truth. It's better to be humble and honest. It makes me crazy tho, because it is so covert and others think he is the greatest thing ever. I have really grieved about this poor character observation through the years.
"I'm never good enough for you am I?" Wow, did that one hit home. I heard that one ALL THE TIME, and towards the end I just felt like saying, I guess you're not! (I don't think I ever said it though, but surely wanted to.)
Thank you so much for this very important discussion! The issue for me with leaving is the possibility of my husband (who is very unsafe for and neglects our young daughter) getting shared custody of her where he is able to have her without supervised visits. I am worried for both her physical and emotional well-being and it scares me how parental rights focused I've heard family courts are rather than focusing on the safety and best interests of children.
I am in the same position. Me kids are a little older though, and are fighting back, which I'm afraid will make me look like I'm "coaching" them. My kids want nothing to do with my husband and feel like he is very unsafe for them. It really is scary. I would recommend documenting all interactions and getting a Guardian ad Litem for your daughter. Record conversations if that is legal in your state. I wish the best for you and your kiddos.
@kristabrown472 thank you. I don’t understand how out nation is so backwards in protecting our children. From family courts to day cares to allowing states to decide if the allow corporal punishment in schools despite clear data showing harm! These cracks need to be addressed and fixed. I will keep you and your children in my prayers.
Oh my soul, the role playing you just did! (I'm at 10:56) This was my LIFE with my ex! There was always this negative body language, I'd respond to it, he'd tell me I was imagining it and that I'm reading too much into things! EXACTLY how it all played out with you two! 25 years of that nonsense! 😫🤦♀️
Yes it is and that saying. Sticks and Stones may break me but words will never hurt me. It's not true. Words can go to the heart and soul. Those words can shame you
The pedestal I had Leslie on toppled when she said in reference to her cough she " got the jab but still came down with the c virus " . Hopefully she's aware by now of the data showing relationship of infections to boosters.
On the issue of giving the benefit of the doubt, what you said was really good and insightful and it’s good to give people the benefit of the doubt. On the flipside, I think it can also be detrimental. Looking back, I think I have given the benefit of the doubt over and over and over only to see later that my initial suspicion was correct. And that has caused tremendous damage to me and my children.
I've been married almost Twenty-One years this is how I have felt my. He is now released me. I have given him every with ten years of marriage counseling with a Christian. Within the last 2 weeks I felt at peace with letting him go so I can finally move on and enjoy my life after 21 years I'm thinking it was crazy, irrational, family and in-laws thinking I was unstable, and I'm finally not knowing what to do and putting me on. He loves me as a friend but has never biblically because there is no evidence of his salvation. I'm ready to love again when the time is right.
Both of my daughters do this to me; as they learned how to crush me from my now ex , who (diagnosed sociopath I learned) treated me, them this way. I had to divorce him bc of this & other abuses, against us. I had to protect them. Everything I am saying is documented by the court. We 3 have lifetime restraining orders- they testified against him. Now I’m going the it all over again with them since he left in 2002. I’ve been hospitalized for the abuse. Dr’s have said,” …your daughters are killing you, you have to get away from them-forget them! They don’t feel for you, the way you feel about them.”
One thing I know is that type a personality women are very rough with their words and don’t realize it because that’s who I am and so the paper situation did seem kind of tough to me but I just wanted to let you know
I’ve lost count of how many times my husband has said with defiance and arrogance, “Why do I need to change??? Are you perfect???” Thank you for these podcasts. I know what I need to do. Can you recommend an attorney in Houston?
What do I do if we are in a cycle of his abuse, outbursts, and character assassination? It ‘only’ occurs about every 4-6 weeks. And, I’m walking on eggshells in the interim waiting for the other shoe to drop? It’s EXHAUSTING and confusing!!!!!
…’I’m feeling you don’t agree with what I’m saying’ ‘What are you talking about?’ ‘Well….’ ‘Don’t think for me! You’re so controlling’ Shouting, interrupting and won’t let me talk.
Gaslighting is an indication of emotional abuse. Then when you stop defending yourself after years of being berated and having to sit for hours every night listening to constant badgering and begin gray rocking is an indication you’re being emotionally abused.
Re: when to allow an abuser back in your life... I really like how you approached this. A manipulator that is not working on himself will push you to get his way. He will say and do things that look like change short-term, but I feel like the key is looking at long term change... months, even years, depending on how long you've been in the relationship. Do not give the person credit for short term change (days, weeks). Manipulators will try to fool you to get you sucked back in. Been there, done that. We need to use wisdom as women of God, have a few trusted friends to turn to for support before we make these big decisions.
Thank you so much for this!! My husband 100 percent. It's been a battle, but I confront and address the issues. He likes to save face and spins the truth. It's better to be humble and honest. It makes me crazy tho, because it is so covert and others think he is the greatest thing ever. I have really grieved about this poor character observation through the years.
"I'm never good enough for you am I?"
Wow, did that one hit home. I heard that one ALL THE TIME, and towards the end I just felt like saying, I guess you're not! (I don't think I ever said it though, but surely wanted to.)
Thank you so much for this very important discussion! The issue for me with leaving is the possibility of my husband (who is very unsafe for and neglects our young daughter) getting shared custody of her where he is able to have her without supervised visits. I am worried for both her physical and emotional well-being and it scares me how parental rights focused I've heard family courts are rather than focusing on the safety and best interests of children.
I am in the same position. Me kids are a little older though, and are fighting back, which I'm afraid will make me look like I'm "coaching" them. My kids want nothing to do with my husband and feel like he is very unsafe for them. It really is scary. I would recommend documenting all interactions and getting a Guardian ad Litem for your daughter. Record conversations if that is legal in your state. I wish the best for you and your kiddos.
@kristabrown472 thank you. I don’t understand how out nation is so backwards in protecting our children. From family courts to day cares to allowing states to decide if the allow corporal punishment in schools despite clear data showing harm! These cracks need to be addressed and fixed. I will keep you and your children in my prayers.
Oh my soul, the role playing you just did! (I'm at 10:56) This was my LIFE with my ex! There was always this negative body language, I'd respond to it, he'd tell me I was imagining it and that I'm reading too much into things! EXACTLY how it all played out with you two! 25 years of that nonsense! 😫🤦♀️
I tried to comment to say what you did.
You said it much better.
Thank you
Such Nonesense!!
@@amykyns15 💜🙏💜🙏
Hello, I’m excited, my first live with you. Found you 2 weeks ago and been listening a lot to your advice. Thanks for all you do❤
Yes it is and that saying. Sticks and Stones may break me but words will never hurt me. It's not true. Words can go to the heart and soul. Those words can shame you
The pedestal I had Leslie on toppled when she said in reference to her cough she " got the jab but still came down with the c virus " . Hopefully she's aware by now of the data showing relationship of infections to boosters.
Well said Diane.😊
This whole video was really valuable 💗
You ladies are such a blessing in my life. Thank you and God bless you and your families.
On the issue of giving the benefit of the doubt, what you said was really good and insightful and it’s good to give people the benefit of the doubt. On the flipside, I think it can also be detrimental. Looking back, I think I have given the benefit of the doubt over and over and over only to see later that my initial suspicion was correct. And that has caused tremendous damage to me and my children.
I love the role playing!!! It’s really helps
I've been married almost Twenty-One years this is how I have felt my. He is now released me. I have given him every with ten years of marriage counseling with a Christian. Within the last 2 weeks I felt at peace with letting him go so I can finally move on and enjoy my life after 21 years I'm thinking it was crazy, irrational, family and in-laws thinking I was unstable, and I'm finally not knowing what to do and putting me on. He loves me as a friend but has never biblically because there is no evidence of his salvation. I'm ready to love again when the time is right.
You clarify such confusion and verbal abuse in our relationship
Both of my daughters do this to me; as they learned how to crush me from my now ex , who (diagnosed sociopath I learned) treated me, them this way. I had to divorce him bc of this & other abuses, against us. I had to protect them. Everything I am saying is documented by the court. We 3 have lifetime restraining orders- they testified against him. Now I’m going the it all over again with them since he left in 2002. I’ve been hospitalized for the abuse. Dr’s have said,” …your daughters are killing you, you have to get away from them-forget them! They don’t feel for you, the way you feel about them.”
One thing I know is that type a personality women are very rough with their words and don’t realize it because that’s who I am and so the paper situation did seem kind of tough to me but I just wanted to let you know
I’ve lost count of how many times my husband has said with defiance and arrogance, “Why do I need to change??? Are you perfect???”
Thank you for these podcasts. I know what I need to do. Can you recommend an attorney in Houston?
What do I do if we are in a cycle of his abuse, outbursts, and character assassination? It ‘only’ occurs about every 4-6 weeks. And, I’m walking on eggshells in the interim waiting for the other shoe to drop? It’s EXHAUSTING and confusing!!!!!
Can we view the webinar still? Core beliefs that keep us in a destructive relationship,
Hi Tammy,
Unfortunately that workshop replay is no longer available, but we do have another workshop coming up in the middle of February!
Yes, emotional abuse is very real. Unfortunately. Verbal violence & myriad similar behaviours make up the misery that is emotional abuse (violence).
…’I’m feeling you don’t agree with what I’m saying’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘Well….’
‘Don’t think for me! You’re so controlling’
Shouting, interrupting and won’t let me talk.
Gaslighting is an indication of emotional abuse. Then when you stop defending yourself after years of being berated and having to sit for hours every night listening to constant badgering and begin gray rocking is an indication you’re being emotionally abused.
Covert narcissism covers emotional Abuse
Emotional abuse is not treating your wife with the biblical definition of love
Yes it is real, and demonic.