Asexual: A Love Story
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- Опубліковано 9 вер 2024
- 1% of Canadians identify as asexual. But what does that mean? For some, it’s the absence of interest in sexual activity, but different than celibacy. Watch as ACES find love and happiness in a hyper-sexualized world.
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![overcoming malignant shame [cc]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/kMeehIpxH5k/mqdefault.jpg)
There should be like a popular asexual dating app then asexuals could find each other and not be pressured for sex
There are! I just dunno if they are really active🙃
Nadege Rioux can you tell me what apps I’d love to meet people but everybody I talk too just wants to get into my pants!
Anna Brown yeah I completely understand, same for me🙃 i found ACEapp, I don’t know if it’s really active, but I know there’s more, I found some just by researching asexual dating app, so I hope there will be one working fine for you:)
or they could pressure each other into not having sex ;)
I would not recommend AceApp. Many of the messages I got were...strange. Some were baiting for money, and a few were even odder. I once had a person on there ask me if I would be the mom to their kids, but no relationship. So basically he wanted a nanny he didn't have to pay for haha.
I was mostly on there to make friends, but as someone with social anxiety, I found checking my messages stressful. I would say I got more bait messages than messages from actual aces. Maybe all dating sites are that way, but I would have preferred something different.
Let's admit it: we have the coolest nickname. *Aces* I mean HOW COOL IS THAT?
Ankster the Nerd agreeed
AND we have the asexuality dragon!!!
Gosh, i never thought about It! But you're TOTALLY RIGHT! XD
Damn you are so right ♠♠♠
It's an *ace* name
The story of the woman who got out of a long marriage absolutely broke my heart
Me too 😭
That actually made me cry
I cried because it was so sad...
Same here i felt really bad for her
I want to give her a hug
what bothers me the most is the fact that people are so interested in other people having sex or not
Ikr. What's their deal?
Ikr?
Yeah this society is so oversexualized
True. Creepy
It's one thing to be Asexual, and another to also be Aromantic. The struggle is real!
Ikr!
I'm asexual and not aromatic (":
Julie Hermoso ikr im asexual But demiromantic
Julie Hermoso I'm heteromantic asexual
I'm aro ace. It's a tough struggle. I live openly and share with open minded people. FINDING open minded people is tough. But that is the way it has to be. And now that I have told everyone I would not go back to being silent about it or try to pass as if I like sex. I'm ace. I'm aromantic. I can't change that.
Lecourageuxame im both
Trying to develop an algorithm for what makes a butt cute is the biggest mood
Tawny Evergreen 😂
SAME TBH??? like seriously i still can’t figure it out. i can tell what the different features are but they still all just look like “hmm yep, that’s definitely a butt” to me-
I guess I'm a rare breed of ace then. (lol) I still have aesthetic attention and can find others sexy. I just don't have the desire to have sex with people. Is that weird...?
@@rainbowsevenn no it’s called aesthetic attraction, it’s different from sexual attraction
@@rainbowsevenn Omg I feel the same way!
I started crying when she cried... Not because it was sad, but because I FELT that. I feel like I'm not enough. All the time. Being Ace and wanting love is hard.
exactly
When I first tried to come out to my mother the first thing she told me was "dont expect your partner to not go find what you're lacking elsewhere". I still havent gotten over that. I'm in a serious committed relationship and I am constantly terrified that my mother is going to one day be right and maybe I am being selfish. We need more representation like this...
I started crying too. It's always been hard to be in a relationship, giving that all my partners have always been allos. Now I have found the absolute love of my life, who despite being allo understands me and is more than willing to compromise as much as we both can on sex matters... But I'm scared to death that he'll eventually get fed up with this and walk away from me. Seeing this woman's desperation about her separation - where the main reason was her asexuality - just devastated me, I resonate with that feeling so much. I send hugs and love to all my ace fellows here 💙
I didn’t cry, but I did feel it. I’ve felt like an interloper ever since puberty. When I dreamt of finding love- dream, I should say, as I still do- I would- do- force myself to think of other things. It hurts so much to look around at a culture that is now embracing sexuality and sex in general, and being unable to contribute. That you’ll never be enough, and that something is inherently *wrong* with you. I feel for those that are bi or gay or other such varieties, but I feel like… occasionally I felt jealous. Which sounds completely insensitive of me, given the discrimination they face, but I felt like they had at least some representation. Pride festivals, “it’s okay to be gay”, etc. But I knew I wasn’t gay, and I knew I didn’t fit into the straight bracket either. I felt completely and utterly lost. The fact that I’ve considered getting testosterone injections to make me feel something, even as a fifteen year old girl, is a representation of that I suppose. I felt, and still do feel, so incomplete. There’s no other word for it. And it’s not even the sexual side that scares me most, though it still does, it’s the emotional side. Will I ever find love, if I can’t even get a crush, or feel emotional or physical attraction? I crave that deep emotional connection, and that love and attraction I see sparkle in others’ eyes., and I know it’s just not possible for me. I think that’s what hurts the most, over the “lost” and “broken” feelings. I can deal with that, I can get over that. But some things I just can’t. And then there’s the question that loops around my brain whenever I stop and give the thought the time of day. What if I, by sheer dumb luck, find someone that makes love a possibility? Will I even be worthy of it, when I could not give them everything they may so desire?
@@otterlus I was just as lost as you, believe me. The best things in life happen when you least expect them, and that's precisely what happened to me eventually. I'm sure it'll be the same for you too, one day. Meanwhile I send you love and hugs; stay strong and positive, you deserve to love and to be loved.
I really hope one day i'll find someone who's okay with me being ace.. I really want to have a relationship, i just feel like i'll never be in one..
pls kill me You already are in one, with yoongi remember? But seriously if you need a friend or someone to talk to I am here. I see your username and I hope that it is just sarcastic, but someone cares for you remember that. I just recently figured out I am ace two days into my relationship, with an allosexual. One day your day will come. And I expect a follow up to this story 😁
Your comment and username are very relatable 😅👏
Depressed vibez
Army💜 I am confused but same
Yes, exactly, I feel so lonely too, I need some *love* 😭
Things I was told before I figured out I was ace:
- Maybe you're gay
- It's from your trauma
- You should get someone to do you a favour
- You must be so repressed and unhappy
- You should just take the plunge
- Your instincts will kick in at the right time
Things I did to try to appear not-ace:
- Agree with my friends when they found someone attractive
- Pick someone to have a crush on so I fit in with my friends
- Pretend to enjoy kissing people who I wasn't emotionally connected to
- Tell myself I was going to have sex within a time frame, so I wouldn't be weird anymore
- Lie in games of 'Never Have I Ever' or just extract myself completely for fear of being ridiculed
The fact that I have finally accepted myself means I can let go of all these things
Thank you for sharing and I'm happy that you are finally in a place that you feel comfortable with yourself🙏🏻😊
i would always say to myself "right i need to have sex before 25 because if not i will be made fun of" but even the thought of sex made me feel sick (and still does like ew why) and this was before i even knew what asexuality was. When i found out what asexual is i was so relieved because i knew i wasn't just really weird.
Can I become asexual?
You're actually acearo, I think
Rafik I’m ace so don’t take this 100% put I don’t think you can push away those feelings and I can’t gain them so I don’t think so but nothing hurts you by trying
No one ever talks about this. I'm glad I'm not alone.
whateverticklesyourpickle Monique it’s really hard finding more people like this. So I agree with your comment so much
Im so happy Im not the only one
Correct me if im wrong but I personally think if your relationship depends fully or mostly on sex maybe its not so great of a relationship
A relationship that relies on sex to work is flawed, but you should have your sexual needs met in a relationship. There is a difference. My sis dated someone who she suspects was ace. She was servicing her but her girlfriend couldn’t do the same for my sis. They didn’t have the same libido it didn’t work
If your relationship is just about or mostly about sex, it's not a good relationship.
That's bullshit. If both parties have agreed that sex is the primary thing they want out of this, then what the hell is wrong with that?
@@keeprockin69 the fact that you're only relying on sex for your relationship and little to no else? At least the way it's being applied here.
TT i think they were referring to a romantic relationship in which having sex is used to push unhealthy aspects of it under the rug. yes, a relationship in which sex is the main factor, such as friends with benefits, are totally valid, but just a clarification on the comment
I'm so glad that our orientation is becoming more well-known!
Anna King I love your icon
@@sarasanchez5883 same
I love how your profile is the ace flag looking durpy lol
@@Charley_Cheshire it’s from one of sir Pelos videos the gender war
@@RedrumRadrum Oh cool! Thanks for letting me know! :D
I really love how asexuality is becoming such a widespread thing, but I wish people would make films on aces
*and* aromantics
I do too. But sex sells.
As ace I still wish for a movie with either love that doesn't include touching, kissing and stuff
Those would be horrible and not selling.
@@wakousyremu8946 I think because America is over sexual. It sadly doesn’t recognize that there’s other forms of relationship and romance.
@@wakousyremu8946 Why? Just curious. It can be something that isn't really mentioned much. Like say there's a character and they have a partner in another city that they only see once in a while. It doesn't have to be the plot of the movie, but it could be something that's just portrayed as acceptable, normal, not deviant. that's all we want.
I'm not an asexual or ace as you guys seem to be called, so I cant understand how you all feel and relate to it. But, it's very disheartening to see that many people feel sex is as important as love and everything a person has to offer. For me, I dont think anything can substitute love. As long as a person truly loves another sex is a completely irrelevant act. Sure it gives pleasure, but I believe pleasure can never substitute love. To all the aces out there, I hope you all trust and believe in yourselves. Never change who you are, and be proud of everything you are, unique and different. Though it might be hard, the harder it is, the more stronger you are. Hope you all find love both within yourselves and from others.
I agree
Aww, thanks
❤❤❤
This made me smile, thank you! 💜
It's not really fair to say that sex is or should be irrelevant in relationships just bc it's not for everyone or not the same as love. I dont think most people think sex can substitute FOR sex, but sex can be an important way for some people to connect. Pleasure of any kind helps people bond. For people who experience sexual attraction or have high sex drives, having sex be part of a relationship may be important for compatibility. And that's just as valid as not being interested in sex!
“people will refer to asexual people as robotic”
well duh, we’re all cyborgs, obviously
Shhhhh
They must never know...
Wanna like but it’s at 69 and that’s a haha number
Omg shhh! You exposed us!!
Dude what the hell? Stop exposing usss.
NOOO THEY MUSNT KNOW
Ppl: how do you know you don't like it if you haven't try it yet
Me: oh really have you try and eat snake then?
Ppl: what eww no that's disgusting
Me: well how do you know that if you never try it before?
Ppl: .....
Me: exactly
This is true and it's rude to say that to an asexual, but snake meat slaps bro
Lol so true 😆
"eat snake" I see what u did there ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Okay but snake sounds so good though
Que the Snake Eater opening.
I feel so happy that there are more and more youtube videos talking about asexuality these days. It really proves that asexuality is being widely accepted and becoming known and am glad that I am not the only one. But I still feel hesitant abt revealing this to my family and friends in the future. I am highly ambitious although am a girl maybe if I succeed ppl wont force me to get married
Flaky 96 I feel you
You are not the only one..❤
I have yet to come out to my family as well. Independence, as well as fulfilling relationships are a continuous source of anxiety for me.
Same
Then being a gen z Ace
I think I m lucky 😃
This is why Hollywood needs to adapt a book called Let's Talk About Love. It's a book about a black biromantic asexual woman who tries to accept herself and fall in love again
One time I had a dream my school principal told all the asexuals to go to the office. He started yelling at all of us for being weird because we didn't experience sexual attraction to anyone
All of us just laughed and started making sexual jokes and the principal got annoyed
lmao i love this
lmao good on you
Lmao I wanna join-
i didn't read the dream part and i was so confused
@@octi8834 lmao
I've known I was asexual since I learned what the word meant. It felt so nice knowing there were people like me, that there was a word for how I felt! There's this boy who seems really nice in my grade, and a couple days ago someone told me he's ace! Nobody knows I'm ace, but maybe I can make friends with that boy and I'll tell him. I want to know someone who is like me :)
shut up sophia
Me too!! That is why naming is so important.. and we should let more ppl know about this word!
shut up sophia
For me it was the opposite. I was following an LGBTQ support instagram account for a while although I considered myself an over invested ally. I started exploring my own identity, and upon discovering asexuality and aromanticism I thought "nooo, that couldn't be me because I'm sorta interested in sexual pleasure and have a libido!". Around 11 when I began entering puberty I was super into sex. Of course I never had sex, I just fantasized about It a lot. Looking back they were not your typical sexual fantasies. I never fantasized about sex with someone, just the feeling. I never had crushes, and when people asked me who I liked and answered with no one, They were so confused and I didn't understand. I only ever had 2 sexual dreams, and in those I was having sex with a non human creatures... I'm not into bestiality though! That sounds really weird but honestly I can't explain.
I remember when I accepted my asexuality though. It was late at night, I was on my phone doing the classic internet 'What sexuality am I?' quizzes, when I was kinda like, "Well I guess I may as well call myself asexual, because It's the closest thing I've got". That was only 4-ish months ago, but It seems like ages. Before I thought i wasn't aromantic because I 'had the capacity to love'. Um, no. I just had never experienced romantic love before so I didn't know what to look for.
@@user-qp4th3ij7z this is very relatable. I like the idea of QPRs it's the only thing I can truly think of having in terms of a strong close relationship without romance. Sorry this is late
@@elik1595 I want a QPR so much. But I don’t know if I'll find someone who understands what it is and who I want to be in a QPR with. Have you ever felt like you don't know if something is romantic attraction or not because it's really hard to tell what that feeling actually is compared to really wanting to be someone's friend?
@@aj_the_alto yeah I can totally relate sometimes it's a little confusing. Sometimes I'm like is this purely aesthetic attraction or a squish or something else. I also feel like I'll never find someone who truly understands or wants a QPR and if I somehow do there's the fear that we won't be compatible. I don't know if this weird but my nickname is actually AJ.
I tell people at school that I'm asexual and they think that I don't have any feeling about anyone. But do have lots of interest in a romantic relationship. I just don't experience the sexual attraction or find people hot. I just don't want my relationships to be built or reliant on sex. I just want people to understand that: you can have sex without love, so why not love without sex?
All these aces finding their true loves is so inspiring for me, I hope that I can find someone who can accept my asexuality.
I wish people realized that not everyone on the ace spectrum feels zero sexual attraction. Some ace people feel slight sexual attraction, most feeling romantic attraction (unless they're aro). I'm demisexual and my best friend is ace/aro. We can agree with people that someone is slightly attractive, we just don't want to see them naked. I'm a very sexual person, but that doesn't mean I'll jump into bed with anyone. I need emotional attachment and romantic attraction in order to feel satisfied or even consider kissing someone. Being ace/demi makes dating very difficult. I once was made fun of for saying I'd wait til marriage to have sex. They said "No you won't" and "you'll change your mind". How do you know that, though? I think genitals are gross. I'm not sexually attracted to anything about a person. There's romantic attraction, which allows me to have a crush and have a relationship, but it'd take a while for me to want to even consider having sex.
This comment is a phat mood
im greyace, my attraction tends to be towards very few people (currently only really experienced it towards 2 men ever) and then i tend to OBSSESS. but before that i didnt know, i found some people aesthetically attractive, but was so uncomfortable with conversations around sex and the like. i often feel like im lying or like im just fussy or something, its a nightmare
Im the type of asexual who enjoys READING about sex and can appreciate when someone is attractive but i get very uncomfortable with the idea of ME having sex and i don't understand why everyone is so obsessed with someone's body
Same here
I can recognize and appreciate someone’s beauty/handsomeness, but it doesn’t “turn me on” to any degree. One time my husband asked if his looks are at all attractive to me because he was trying to understand the extent of my asexuality. I told him that I thought he was handsome, but that it was irrelevant to my attraction to him as a person (personality, character, spirit, whatever you might call it) because I am not sexually attracted.
Interesting how in movies, books and media that romance always leads to sex in some way.. really makes you think about the false expectations of a relationship. That's probably why they feel like there was something wrong with them. But there isn't anything wrong with it; they love without sex and that's beautiful
We know movies are just eye candy and gimics to sell stuff. Real LOVE is spiritual , to embrace a LOVE that's around you . I find just to breath and being thankful to GOD . walking in nature then so grateful was given a partner who is also spiritual. Family not sure how to embrace our relationship. It's not firey it's a deep level soul type LOVE. So we can enjoy GOD around us . Romantic side is around But it didn't hold us ransom , chose to walk in your spiritual side .
12:35 "If you stop the story now it would be a happy ending." *smile instantly fades* that got me right in the heartstrings.
Ouch
I feel like I’m too complicated to explain to someone. My love language is physical touch, so I love hugging and kissing and cuddling, but I’m ace so I’m not sexually attracted to anyone, but I’m also panromantic. I don’t think I’ll ever find someone who would compliment me in the way I love
THIS. Thank you for sharing. I'm currently trying to figure out what the hell my sexual orientation is, and that has been part of what has been confusing the hell out of me. I enjoy cuddling and kissing and I think men are cute and want to go out with them, but sex kinda scares me (not sure if that's part of my upbringing or just the way I am), but I definitely can relate to this.
GOD SAME being touch starved and ace is. frustrating...
Same! It really shouldn't be so hard to get across to a partner, but somehow there's a disconnect they find there. Cuddling is not a straight slide into sex, people, it's just nice and makes me feel loved
Late reply but the desire for physical touch is sensual attraction. While, the desire for sex is sexual attraction.
If I were to explain: Sensual is like wanting to pet a dog or hug a teddy bear. While sexual is well desiring to have sex.
I'm also ace but I love hugging...
I hate the game _"Kiss, kill or smash?"_
I just lie 😅
FeLlOw MoA?! I’m subscribed to you :D!! Idk if ur ace or not but I am and it’s cool seeing you here 💗
@@pixiietea9916 yeee HI FELLOW MOA!! yea I'm ace and it's so nice to see you here too! 💜💚🖤
whalien pippa ahH I love your content 🥺💞 keep being amazing and stay safe! Fighting
I remember me and my friends would always play kiss marry kill and they’d move on to a different game like kiss Mary smash or weird never have I ever questions especially with celebrities and I’d just sit there.
I really relate. I realised I was Ace a year ago, on my 21st Birthday, after a few unsuccessful relationships, and the confusion of my lack of interest in people's physical state and lack of urge to do anything about it. Consequentially, I thought I was broken. I ended up speaking to one of my friends who's very knowledgeable on LGBT+ stuff, and they were like "Maybe you're Asexual". Realising I was Asexual was a relief. I'm not broken, I'm just not straight.
I'm Greyromantic too. I'm hoping one day to find a relationship that makes me happy, where sex is not necessary. Sometimes, the future feels bleak, but I try not to lose hope.
*hugs fellow ace* S A M E
Proof of asexuality- seeing attractive (? I think?) people on screen and thinking "..... Oh hey a cat! I wish I had that cat to snuggle with! Who's a fluffy kitty?"
same tho
acecat2798 same
Now okay there but like...that cat was SO fluffy. Like...how can you not notice such a fluffy kitty? And they panned right over to it, they WANTED me to notice. They know what the audience of this video wants.
Lol mood. Totes the same thought
No that is zoophilia
This was an overall good video, though I do kind of wish that they expanded the video to include the subtypes within Asexuality, such as Demisexual, Aromantic, Gray A, etc.
Lynxie Dove aromantic isn't a "subtype" of asexuality. it's a completely different type of orientation in itself.
@@roshanfey But they're in the same spectrum. It would be great to show different types of cases in the spectrum, that's what i think they meant
Antonella Callegaro They’re not in the same spectrum. I’m Asexual and Aromantic, but Asexuality is a spectrum and Aromanticism is a different spectrum. Romantic attraction is different to sexual attraction.
Maybe same umbrella term with different spectrums. Like, out of topic, transgender is an umbrella term, but transexual and transgender isn't the same thing. Square and rectangle, but with a whole lot of diversity ^^
I'm currently confused with my sexuality but I think I'm asexual. I'm a beauty enthusiast and I love appreciating beauty but it doesn't mean I'm sexualy attracted to them and I feel uncomfortable when my friends start talking about boys and how cute they are cause I genuinely don't feel that sexual attraction and I can't relate to them so I don't know how to reply in that conversation. Its like I acknowledge they look good but it doesn't mean I wanna screw them or I wanna be with them. Idk I'm really confused.
Alyana Drua aesthetic attraction is completely different from sexual attraction, so maybe you are asexual? also, your friends talking about how cute boys are isn't sexual attraction haha
I know it’s a bit late but sexual attraction I guess what my sister told me how they feel is like they look at someone and think they are hot I guess but in their version of hot it means they would have sexual intercourse with that person like extremely but I guess it’s an urge and I have never felt that but there are different types of asexuality that can feel it sometimes or only when they are very close with their partner. I am romantic asexual so I feel only romantic attraction which maybe you are describing aromantic but explore it’s ok to feel confused you will be able to be comfortable without a label too it’s mostly about people relating to each other and for the most part labels can help but take your time with it. A label is just a label and you can change it by the way you feel or never have a real label it’s ok we’re all cool down here! 🖤
yea same i think boys are cute but i would never want to fuck them.
B KnighttheEmo My friend said that it’s like being hungry but like... for someone’s appearance? Which I guess makes sense??? I’m still confused.
@@roshanfey attraction is thinking a cat is cute sexal attraction is thinking about the stuff or wanting to do the stuff with someone
I'm a mom, I'm ace, struggling in a hetero relationship. I wish I knew i was ace alot sooner but it's better to know later than life than not at all.🤗
"I'm not this screwed up, broken person. It's just the way I am."
I felt that
My mom said to me " you are just not experienced" "you're immature and you are too young to know". I have been out as Transgender and asexual for 4 years and known for much longer. My family still refuses to accept me and i am afraid they never will.
Isaac Smith wish I had some advice but I’ve been out as trans and ace for four years and my family still hasn’t come around. Honestly, just hold out. You’ll find the people that do support you, whether or not they’re part of your biological family.
Sounds like my older sister when I came out; we don’t need people like that in our lives, so let’s go find people who support us.
realized I'm an Ace a couple months ago. people are really confused by my orientation. was worried I was 'broken' until I learn about this orientation
ladanseestbelle I'm so happy for you :D I felt the same .
ugh this hit home so hard. I wish I could be as out and proud as other members of the lgbtq+ community but I always feel I have to hide because other people in the community constantyl make me feel like I don't belong. I wish people would realize that yES, asexuality and aromanticism are legitimate orientations.
Same :(
The A in LGBTQIA stands for Asexual, never Ally.
Why asexualty belong in the lgbtqi? We are not there ally and as asexual man I don't want to be a part of the lgbtqi community.
Looking at everyone's right hand, so proud to be a part of this community.
I was so happy when I found out that I wasn’t the only asexual person out there
the first time i watched this video i wanted to cry bc i realized i was normal :,)
We are normal too u idiot.
@@ridhishreya20 what are you talking about? I'm pretty sure this person meant they were happy because they are ace and this video reassured them that they were normal. no need to be agressive
@@mariafausti3128 you are right 😅.. That's embarrassing... Tbh I don't remember why the hell I used that idiot word 🙄.. All I can say is sorry😊
@@ridhishreya20 aw it's okay :) I'm glad you apologized, I know a lot of people that wouldn't have apologized because that takes a lot of courage. We all make mistakes sometimes, and you're a good person for coming back and apologizing :D
@@mariafausti3128 thanku so much 😊
As a non-asexul I used to think i probably wouldn't want a relationship with an ace person, but the most intimate connection i've ever had with a person is with my aro/ace friend to the extent that i have little interest in dating anyone. Ace people can totally be amazing partners, media puts way too much weight on the importance of sex but i really dont think its as important as we're told it is.
Society really need to throw out the importance of sex. Making people believe they have no value unless they've done it.
The one person who had to break up with their wife is heartbreaking and I can’t imagine how they feel. But I feel I can kinda relate on a level as well. (I’m aro/ace spec, ace and frayromantic meaning when I do have romantic feelings and attractions, they go away after after a why) and I’ve had to break up with everyone I’ve dated because I lost total romantic attraction after being in a relationship with them, then I began to feel so guilty and that they deserved better and someone who could love them back romantically, that I broke up so they could find better, they have, and I’m very happy for them ^^.
Ok I'm not huge on microlabels but I've had that "fraying" experience too. For the very few relationships I was actually invested in at first and had strong feelings for, anyways
Wait a minute I didn't know there was a word for that??? I've been thinking for A LONG time that I'm probably aromantic as well as asexual bc every time I have feelings for someone else it goes away after a while, and I thought I didn't actually feel romantic attraction, bc why would it simply go away. THANK YOU! I genuinely didn't know this was a real thing 😭
I was in a relationship for 5 years that ended in December. This video confirms my thoughts and feelings - thank you. Sex was a chore for me, I started to realise after we broke up. Most of the arguments we had in our relationship was about me not initiating having sex - that makes a lot of sense now. I am still a bit uncomfortable with sharing it with my friends and family (who think I'm gay or demisexual) in fear that they'll think badly of me and think that I'm broken or should just go out and meet a new person.
But I feel safe here behind the screen in this sea of comments where this one will probably drown.
I am asexual.
I'm 24 and have only just admitted to myself that I'm ace. This video is bringing me to tears.
These stories are so important
A group of my friends and I are all asexual, and there's four of us. I'm the ace of diamonds!
THATS SO COOL AND ADORABLE OMG I have a group of 3 friends to but they dont know im ace and theyre probably not ace
Aw, I love that, that’s so cool
Man, that's so awesome!
Fun fact is that (in some communities) people represent the different ace identities as playing cards!
Me and two of my three friends are on the ace spectrum.
I'm ace but biromantic. I still try to date but it's hard since I don't know any other ace people so there's always a divide between me and anyone I've tried dating.
Yeah and online dating is risky so just gotta be open minded I am heteromantic but it’s the same for many others as well
You shouldn’t always limit yourself to finding ace people! There are a lot of allosexual people who can be accepting of your asexuality and can still love you for who you are! Not every allosexual person is like this tho, but some are!
Oh its great to see another ace biromantic out there. I hope you have a nice day
For me when explaining to my friends like why kissing doesn't connect to sex it was like saying imagine you had the ABC's or numbers. One can lead to the other. However kissing for me is like a letter and sex is like a number. They don't easily connect or lead to the other. It's just a disconnect.
So I say from A to 2.
This was validating for me to watch. ☺️ 🖤🤍💜
That's a super interesting analogy!
@@JDM-is-my-name thanks! It’s hard to explain asexuality but I definitely try :)
As a demisexual, I'm so happy that y'all aces get the recognition and representation y'all need!
When I first discovered the words aromantic and asexual I felt a connection to them, but I thought they couldn't describe me because I thought people were attractive and I got nervous around attractive people, but then I realized that aesthetic attraction was a thing and I still didn't feel romantic or sexual attraction so I could claim the labels and it felt so good to finally have a label that made sense to me.
I hope I find someone someday too. Hate how hypersexualized everything is. None of my friends understand, my family think I need corrective therapy. I dream of the day when our feelings are normalized and accepted.
My heart goes out to all aces and aros; you’re all valid and wonderful people!
When the dude was saying he was proud to say they were engaged my heart melted, he looked to genuinely happy oml
them: oh you just haven't found the right person yet
me, an intellectual: oH yOu juST hAveN't fouNd tHE riGht pErSon yeT
I hole stories like this never have to happen again. Aces aren't getting much exposure, but as LGBTQIA communities grow, people are learning about us. I was able to learn about aces before I did anything I would regret, and I hope others do too.
this is so great that i’m seeing more ace videos... the world really needs to accept that not everyone is allosexual. i’m asexual biromantic and i constantly worry about being forced to have sex with someone because i might be in a relationship with them. my current s/o is so caring and understands me so well 🥺 i just think people are aesthetically pleasing, okay? like what do people see in other people that makes them want to mash bits lmao???
"where in the process of separating"
me: IM NOT CRYING, MY EYES ARE SWEATING *sob *
Sex is not a priority. It is a repetition of the memory of a past act. There is nothing fresh about sex. Once you experience an orgasm that’s it, it feels meaningless to repeat it again and again. Can you imagine the relief when you don’t have to chase after sex anymore! Happiness at last. #liberation
In my experience i understood sexual attraction. Its just that i didnt understand why people wanted it so bad.
I'm in love with this video :)
So happy for asexual to be talked about
Amazing video!!! The people that were interviewed were really inspirational, and i will never take my future relationships for granted after watching this! Thanks Guys!
you guys are beautiful, and should honestly be recognised more. i honestly, genuinely wish that people like you could be understood
This video makes me feel less alone. More normal. Accepted. Thank you for creating this.
Good watch! I relate mostly to Cole. I was married and in that relationship for almost 9 years. Since puberty I never got the hype about sex, but I played along because I didn't want to be the odd one out. So I met my ex at 18 years old and suffered through 9 years of hating sex. I went to therapy, tried anti-depressants, and even had an invasive ultrasound to see if there was something physically wrong with me. I thought I was broken, that monogamy wasn't for me, so I tried all sorts of sexual scenarios trying to find the 'amazing sex' that all my friends and society told me was out there. A couple more relationships, flings, and one 5-some later, I realize at 31 I'm Ace and most definitely not broken. It's very liberating to feel like I don't have to pretend anymore. The few friends I have told have been very supportive.
I’m so happy I have the internet to learn about things like this, it makes it a lot easier for me and less confusing
This video is amazing to the asexual community, I love how you mentioned two websites that the community can go to. Thank you for making this video.
Angie's story broke my heart. That's a big fear I have in my current relationship, that even with his current stalwart belief that he can be fulfilled in a relationship with me, he might, years down the line, find out that despite our best efforts, he can't. And I WANT him to be fulfilled and live his best life, not feel "trapped" with someone who doesn't fit with his sexual desires. Gah it's so damn hard.
Have the same fear, and even the same 'he'd be happier with someone else' thoughts... They lead to dangerous places, please be careful.
Communication is key. Its important to be open, and if anything else fails, there's always the possibility of Polygamy, like the relationship shown in this video, if you're both comfortable with that possiblity.
This was why I needed to see. I’m a non-binary ace and it’s so hard to find people who accept and understand. I’m not sure if this is a thing, but I’d consider myself panromantic. I’ll be with anyone who treats me right but at the same time I’m aromantic. I’ve learned that nobody can fully understand unless they come from the same situation. I don’t date really because it seems like everyone I meet wants sex, or they want me to be more masculine, or less feminine. But I can’t because that’s me. Being non-binary, I do what feels right, whether it be feminine or masculine. With the addition of being ace, I can’t find anyone. It could just be that I live in a small city.. maybe one day I’ll meet people who I could be with 🤷🏼
I hate when people at my school force others to date. It’s so annoying! And when i have friends of opposite gender they always say “Oh are you both dating?”
mood
I know that mood. When I was in third grade, I met a good friend of mine (our last names were next to each other alphabetically, so I stood behind him in line. I was very talkative and he was very shy, and I still joke how I couldn't shut up and he was too polite to tell me to leave). For years, people would ask if we were dating, and my oblivious self was always "Nope!" and they never knew how to continue the conversation. We're still friends and he DMs DnD for our friend group.
Basically, what I'm saying is, if you answer in a chipper enough fashion, the conversation dies. Like what are they gonna do, argue that "No you ARE dating! I SAID so" ? After such a *gosh-darn delightful* answer?
Thanks so much for this 15 minutes....You got my eyes full of tears... I feel exactly like this awesome people, and now I feel more strong to deal with it. The video helped me to admit that I am ACE, a reality that for years I was trying to ignore and fight against...
I just feel so miserable to be unable to keep a love... It's always like I love the wrong way. Now I'm hoping the best for the future. If I'm lucky I will find a boy or girl that accepts my asexual love.
I just realized that affairs/cheating is just basically non-consensual polyamory. This way is just done right! Relationship goals, having a girlfriend and boyfriend, amazing. I will keep putting myself out there with the confidence in love in all it's forms prevails in the end.
I'm aromantic and I recently had that experience "I wasn't doing anything wrong, I was just being me, and being me wasn't enough." It's heartbreaking. People act like ace/aro folks are heartless, but we're not. Our hearts are just as broken when deep friendship isn't enough.
I once told my dad about people who have asexuality. I am not an Ace but I felt a bit hurt when he said that it's not possible and that it does not exist. I felt bad because of the thought of "what if I was an ace?". And knowing my father would not believe me if I ever told him that really hurted me a little. I felt bad for all the people that are experiencing this.
I hope for you all to find someone who will love you and accept your Assexuality. I for sure would accept a partner who is an ace if I truly love them. Because in one way, I understand what they might feel on a daily basis.
(sorry if my English is bad)
I am ace, and your message is very sweet, but "Assexuality" made me chuckle and I wanted you to know. Thank you!
@@vordjoncus Glad it made you chuckle even though i don't understand why ahah
I figured out I was ace last year and I'm still coming to terms with it, but I'm more comfortable with myself now. I really appreciate these people's stories, they really open up about everything.
when a told my sister i was ace she said that doesn't exist...
mine too. "u cant be ace cuz xyz" well good that u are in my head.
I’m an ace lesbian and I’m very happy about the representation. :-)
I feel this, all of my friends are boy-crazy and I’m just like “... ew?”
when did you guys start to suspect it because i’m 15 and people keep telling me that i’m too young-
Azery098 thank you so much! what you said really helped (and your english is great dw) 💖
I'm 13. That's a pretty young age for things like this. But deep inside I just sort of know it. Other people my age are already talking about how 'hot' someone is, and I just don't see the appeal. I've never told anyone because I'm too scared that maybe I am too young. But I don't think so. There are plenty of people who found out at your or my age, and still feel that way at 40.
I was sure of being ace at about 12, and started using the term, although I hadn't known it was a real thing. We had talked about asexual reproduction in a science class, and my brain just went *Oh, so like me!* I laugh about it now; I only found the Ace Community in the past year or two, and it's been great to learn that I'm not the only person like this.
Can I just say? Being a fellow ace in the Physics field (doing my undergrad in Physics), seeing Justine do particle physics makes me wanna stan them *so hard*
*Ace that Physics, Ace that Physics!*
Oh my god the ending was so unexpected and awesome! In the middle i was getting frustrated cuz i'm ace too, but the ending made me so damn happy❤❤❤
Imagine if Adam and Eva were aces
Am not sure but Paul might be ace
*big oof*
Imagine if Adam and Eva existed
I just want to hug all of them!!!!
I met this girl who identified as a sexual in school I really liked her I thought she was beautiful and I felt like she had a wonderful personality but I didn't know how to approach her without coming off like a creep like everyone else I was too shy and was worried I would make her feel uncomfortable I still think about her and wouldn't mind having a relationship with her even if that meant we didn't have sex does anyone have advice on how I can maybe pursue her
Dakota Woodson just ask her if she wants to go out 😊 if she likes you then she'll say yes
Dakota Woodson just be like hey your really cool we should talk more
Dakota Woodson Dakota Woodson Ask about her interests and talk about yours? I’m not good at approaching people but that way you can both get to know each other before she would need to make a split second decision about a date. I’ve seen advice that asking about pets is easy because dogs and cats and turtles are really neutral as a topic. If you get to be closer acquaintances/friends you can just be like “hey I know you’re ace and I’m curious if you’re aromantic as well?” so she knows that you’re aware and you get it. That way if she turns down a date you’ll know that it wasn’t just because she was worried about an expected sexual aspect. Good luck! =)
@@alexia3552 this is amazing
I know it's been a long time. But tell her exactly this.
I don't know how much to thank you for making this video I never felt more valid in my entire life and the fact that there's exactly 68 dislikes is absolutely perfect
6:04 thas a real heckin cute daughter
I'm demi and I sincerely don't understand how people find someone "cute" or "attractive" without even knowing them.
I just don't understand how someone could just see a random person and think: "damn I wanna hook up with that person"
It just seems so weird to me lol
Well personally, I like someone at first sight when they have attractive features or just something about them (I know, it sounds like I judge people for their looks). But yeah, I guess I can see why it looks weird when people become automatically attracted to someone lmao.
Thank you for making this video! I recently discovered that I'm asexual and having visibility feels awesome :)
Me, an asexual: This is kinda relatable.
Also me, at 6:25: Those are nice shelf ornaments, for God's sake - put them in bubble wrap before packing them!
Thank you so much for this video! I am an asexual and I'm proud of it till now. I hope all of the asexuals out there will be truly happy for who they are :)
When I told my friend that I didnt ever want a child of my own or that I didnt want to adopt she tried to persuade me to have a child saying it all depends on maturity and it will change youll see same thing with marraige she tried to persuade me into relationships
Damn, she really needs to learn to respect others decisions. I hope she can learn that people have their own choices.
I just watched this and omg, I'm in tears. I relate to Justine a lot and her story gives me hope. I have planned a future alone tbh. Still I am going to, but it's nice to hope for some partnership in future.
I hate when people say asexual doesn't existed.
Some annoying people I know, that know I am asexual always say "Oh so you're gonna die a virgin?" or "So you're never have sex?" or "That's embarrassing" and it really gets on my nerves.
The poly-amorous part (it really should be either multi-amorous or poly-agaphian, why do you mix greek and latin?) caught me off-guard. Wow. I really don't understand it, but it's super interesting, especially in an ace setting.
Oh!
I see an ace ring!
I love that they included that
I dunno how, it just clicked in my head that I was asexual. I think I was just like, “Oh, ok, I’m asexual.” I kinda forgot but it just happened.
It just feels more bland next to these coming out stories.
Hey guys, I remember watching this video a few months ago and absolutely bawled at it because it was around the time I figured out I was ace. And seeing the struggles of being an asexual in a romantic relationship is hard. Because you either think you’ll never be in one, or when you are in one you tell yourself you need to give into having sexual experiences to please and keep your partner.
I’m here to say I am asexual, I am in a happy relationship, and I still have these thoughts. It is normal. Being ace is hard. Even when your partner says just cuddling or being in a relationship is good enough, it can’t stop you from feeling like you’re keeping them from having experiences they desire.
But as a community, we need to try and fight against the idea that it is impossible to be in a relationship with a non-ace individual without sex. It’s been stigmated so much that relationships will fail without that sexual experience or with few of them that the normalized ideal of it is honestly terrifying for us. If that makes sense. (I’m half asleep writin this ngl). But it is possible. If you find someone who respects your boundaries, then it’s possible. You just need to trust your instincts and trust your partners. Also, trust yourself.
If there’s ever a time where having sexual experiences with your partner is on the table, it is entirely up to you whether or not you want that. If you have sex, that doesn’t make you any less ace.
Being asexual is a lack of sexual attraction, not a lack of sexual experience.
So it’s okay to have sex while ace. It’s just, ya know, not our favorite thing in the world. Which is also okay. Everything is up to you. And if you’re not a huge fan of the experience, you’re always allowed to say stop and go get some cake. ;) Have power in yourself!
Be ace and be proud ♡
I felt that I was ace since I learned the term but I’m still young- 13 and don’t know if I just don’t feel attracted to people yet... I’m just gonna wait and see I guess..
me too. I feel like my orientation isn't valid cause I'm 13 and people at that age shouldn't be feeling sexual attraction, so I feel like I can't be ace
TiredPanda aww thank you! That really helped me feel more certain about who I am. Thank you you’re a really great person :)
Me too. I'm afraid I'm not valid because I'm 13, but deep inside I feel like I am. A lot of people of my age are already talking about how hot guys are and even sex! I just don't see the appeal of it.
You can use the label for as long as you feel like it describes you! If it changes at any point in the future, that's fine, too! I started self-identifying as Ace at around the same age, and am happy to report that so far it still fits for me; the important thing for you is to try and keep in mind how you're feeling over time, and not to force yourself into anything if you don't feel that way. Labels are safety blankets, and if they feel worn out or don't fit quite right, there's no reason you can't or shouldn't try a new one.
I'm 14 and disgusted by the idea of sex, and i always have been.. mentioning sex or hearing it in a conversation makes me feel super uncomfortable and idk- is it because I've kept my 'childish' mentality or will i eventually grow out of it? I'm so goddamn confused on this TwT
finally more videos of asexual
I have spent my short adult life accepting that I would die alone, I onley recently discovered that asexual is a Thing, and I have androphobia but when I watch this video it gave me new hope that maybe there is one out there of me to 🥺❤️
I’m not sure if I’m too young (early teenage years) to consider myself bi or ace. not aro, but ace. For now I think I’m ace, somewhere between andro and gyne, or technically also bi without being attracted to... private parts. For now though, I’ll consider myself ace. Any thought everyone, even if this makes no sense?
You could be a biromantic asexual!
ely
That makes sense! Thanks for telling me :D
@@timekeeper2569 No problem ^^
Lily Love
that’s nice :D
aroace people are so valid hkdjskjkf
Lily Love :D💞💖💞💕💖💕💖
Just came out today. Proud to be a part of such a beautiful community and family 😌🖤🤍💜asexual and proud
Congrats! Welcome, and please have some cake 🙂🍰
@@Krymnon aww, thank you! 🥰🥰