Why INFJs are misunderstood.
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- Опубліковано 30 вер 2024
- Why an INFJ might feel misunderstood. It is normal for an introverted intuitive type to feel misunderstood. I hope to give you some insight into why you may be misunderstood and some pointers on dealing with it.
More videos to watch on the subject of INFJs:
INFJ: 10 Reasons Why You're Still Single - • INFJ: 10 Reasons Why Y...
10 Secrets of the INFJ Personality Type - • 10 Secrets of the INFJ...
Full INFJ Playlist: • FJ on INFJs
The truth about being an Empath. - • The truth about being ...
3 Personality Traits All Empaths Have - • All Empaths Have These...
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#INFJ #MBTI #16Types #MyersBriggs #16Personalities #INTJ #introvert
“Tell me about yourself” is the worst thing you could ever ask an INFJ on a date. 😅
Partner will freak out after hearing the answer 😂😜
It would take the whole day to do that 😀
Lmaao this question feels more like an attack😭
😣 and suddenly i have a headache and energy goes down.
I hate being asked that ugh
One of the weirdest things about being an INFJ is that people think I'm stupid. I've had people (former friends) tell me how dumb I am or that (suicide 'joke' warning) I've killed myself intellectually. I was valedictorian at high school, graduated top in engineering at university, and have a PhD. People still dare tell me this or talk down to me like I'm a child. It's mind-boggling. Just because I don't vocalize my thoughts, do care a lot about others' thoughts, and often just act to lighten the mood doesn't make me an idiot.
This happens to me a lot. They know you’re smart, however if you come off attractive. It’s hard for some people to understand that you can be pretty and smart. Also if you have an innocent or childlike face. Can add to the misconception of lack of intelligence.
@@IDEALCONFIDANT absolutely. I relate to this so much. 🤦🏽♀️
@@_Diamondunique Because it’s true and know we can advocate for ourselves better.
It's quite true. You are gifted, yet looked down on, patronised, undervalued. Sympathies.
@@IDEALCONFIDANT my voice sounds like a kid yet i like having long conversations about quantum physics and artificial intelligence. Not everything is what it seems (or sounds)
Watching your videos make me feel understood
Christina Simpler Facts 😂
well I'm glad to hear that!
Me too 💞
@Christina Simpler the sad reality of the internet Lmao. Talking to people who are miles away, but hey if you're an introvert it isn't too bad if you learn to be your own best company.
@Christina Simpler It makes plenty of sense! As for the children I can understand! (Oldest of four here) Lmao. Anytime I get home from college I need alone time all over again.
any other INFJs here trying to write a really long, deep comment but you can’t quite put your feelings into words??
M e
Yeh I’d say that’d be a yes. Lol
Oh yes. Many, many times..
I never write about feelings that's A L O T I write about experience of being infj, like what my daydreams consist of....(not good thing, not good things at all 😣)
Yes, google translate doesn’t help either, there isn’t translation for my thoughts 😵💫 I truly understand this guy, but I can’t put words together.
I wish my mood was as high as your hair Frank.
it's a high standard
Ha!!
“Who are you?” Might be the hardest question to answer
I can't imagine answering that lmao
It is
what?
I am a personality shaped by my personal experiences and environment.
truth to that
“Something is off...” we look at people like a crooked painting if we sense emotional imbalance. Most will share their deepest sorrows upon first meeting, some don’t, we listen and impart encouragement. Then they never speak to us again...our role is the ‘Jiminy Cricket.’ If you notice, NO ONE seeks to ask us advice; because they know we will morally tell them the truth. And who wants the truth when it might stab them in the heart!?!?
Are we all truth machines?
“We look at people like a crooked painting...” 😂
gladly i often find INTJs loves my honesty & observant nature as INFJ. and i naturally surrounded myself with many INTJs & INFPs.. We balanced each other so well. 💜
This is true for INFJs. I met a man at the bus stop a few weeks ago and i felt inclined to say hi. Next thing I knew was he was telling all about his life and some really personal events that caused him stress. And I just sat there listening even though I didn't understand a couple of things he said. After that, his bus came and left. He seemed really relieved and I just thought, 'well, there it was again'.
@Jasmine Faith Lol, sorry but so cool. Never mentioned to ask for a number? To hangout again. Do you find them to be friends though.. as in yeah, someone you care about? Or just gained a random information and keep it in the back of your mind... a stranger talked to me and just realized what happened and then, in the end left confused.
There are a few people in my life that understand me. When I have a burst of sharing, I usually regret it instantly 😂 I treasure those who can actually listen AND understand.
I get the exact feeling, I feel like I said to much and I ask them to forget what I said because it's so embarrassing and I'd rather move on them have them things about what I said
Same
I'm so sick of being burned.
ENFP/ INFJ is a great any kind of relationship (mature/developed ENFP)…. They seem to be comfortable bonding and talking with us cuz I think we kinda “get” y’all without being totally the same.
❤❤ this.
Best explanation: “I don’t know, but that’s what it is” 🤣🤣🤣
He didn't need to say any more than that to understand.
I think that friends and colleagues of INFJ's can feel us judging their characters, but withholding comments about them. My mentor at work (years ago) told me that my character boiled down to "knowing where someone's Achilles heel is, but somehow letting them know that I'm not going to take advantage of it." I say accurate.
thats so me
Yea manipulative
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Maxine how is it manipulative to not want to hurt people?
@@shannonsmithjared it’s manipulative if you do went to hurt people
It may be a bit ironic, but I understood every thing you tried to say in this video, and I am willing to bet every other INFJ who watched it did as well. It's others who are not on the same wavelength as us who see our inability to communicate. I'm sure a commune of INFJ would have quite different notions of failure to communicate.
I find it almost impossible to properly convey thoughts to other people on a daily basis, have long ago made up my mind that it is simply is not worth the energy/time. It isn't necessarily a matter of IQ or intelligence or anything that is even quantifiable, but rather that most people are not open to things. I think that might be the crux of the issue - what you would call imagination, the Ni, is pretty much the ability and willingness (or even the necessity) to constantly expand one's mind and perspective. Most people are built in precisely the opposite manner.
Having an ne wife that insisted on communication helped me get there. For a long time I had to 'make things up' about how I felt and how to describe my thinking process on decisions. Eventually (after a couple of years) I got fairly good at communicating my thought processes.
Exactly
WOW! "a commune of INFJ" - think of the amazingness that would be!
Joe Rogan takes DMT so he can think like us. Lol.
So how do we start up one of those INFJ communes??? Could jus be Utopia for all of us struggling to communicate with folks that look at us like we're from another planet all together.....and some days I wonder if we aren't... Ugggggh
“maybe we’ve found over time, that when we’ve tried to share our inner world, it’s often met with confusion & people not knowing what to make of it. So we learned that maybe we shouldn’t share that anymore...” this whole video is spot on, but this particular statement moved me to tears. Being met with blank stares & and speechlessness will beat you down over time. So we internalize, isolate and keep our most treasured, beautiful thoughts to ourselves. It really is heartbreaking... but you’re right that we need to learn how to develop our ideas in a rational ways because once we have that skillset, our messages will move worlds. We’re talking about major shifts in the collective consciousness!! May we find our voices and let ourselves be seen!
It is just my imagination
I thought so too until my friendships got deeper and my friends began to tell me they appreciate my love language of words and their depth ❤ Hold on.. your time is coming ❤
So trueee 👏🏻👏🏻
I’ve been met with actual open hostility sometimes. I’m careful where I share. There are also ways of sharing who we are without necessarily the use of actual words; my latest thought.
INFJ is basically a Wolf raised in captivity.
That’s why we’re weird,a hunting machine raised to love.
Lol if that's so I'm the Omega..... Felt in the bottom of the pack growing up where I did. Always feeling in danger.. not disagreeing with you by the way... Interesting thought
Nicholas H Wolfs show there hunting skill by hunting but the reason you’re misunderstood is that you’re a Wolf that doesn’t hunt because you live in harmony so they don’t know you’re skilled at hunting.
Look at sigma - sigma and infj its not an unusual combo !
Very interesting, yet spot on comparison. Most people would probably consider us as shy, which is not only incorrect, also makes them think we don't know how to communicate (hunt as you put it) which could then reinforce that idea of us being shy. We come off "shy" because we meticulously pick out what we want to convey in the conversation, by either constantly rewording things, wondering if it's something that needs to be said, and last but not least if it needs to be said by us. Case in point, we know how to hunt, most of the time we choose not to.
Kinda like Steppenwolf by Hermann Hesse! :D
I have a deep passion for saving souls in a messed up world that I detest
Same
Yea... unfortunately 🙄
Same.
The Messiah complex is strong with you guys
I feel quoted. 😅
Just gonna say “nay, we shan’t” to everything today
people will give you mad respect for your word choice
Frank James On top of INFJ I think I might have a hint of Asbergers! Love ❤️ the hair FJ.
It be rude not to say hello so good evening sir. I see you are a man of culture, enjoying James’s Wisdom.
Zandy I am. but you never call me so I’m breaking up with you
Matthew Alistair Hey, it’s not my fault you have a horrible phone service. Switch to sprint, it’s unlimited data.
"This is just a waste of time and energy" - One of the most INFJ sentence ever.
I don’t know, I hated being different when I was young, but I see it as an asset now. I see myself as a deeply introspective person who doesn’t value a lot of the same things that others around me do. I can spend hours day dreaming about nature and the wonder of it all. I guess I just don’t like the real world. ;)
👋🏼 we have almost the same name
it is good that you have found it to be a strength!
But that Is the real world. ;)
Wing &Waves Truth ;)
I think your issue is perhaps with the superficial world, not the "real" world.
When I was young I used fantasize about having a friend with the same consciousness...like a shared wavelength. Who am I kidding, i still do that.
Yeah, sometimes I wish I had a clone
Look for an ENFP instead.
I relate to this so hard. I often wonder what it would be like to have a real deep friendship. Sadly, I'm terrible with consistent communication and other INFJs are so intense that it exhausts me to socialise long term.
I don't know if any other INFJ's can relate but I'm ashamed of being weird. I often times hide it because I don't know how to be ok with it around others.
Straight up this!
Me too! But with time I've realised that I have to live with it and not to show people who we really are. They just don't get it.
I am an older INFJ 47, I'm test certified as well by a physcologist. Shame is one of INFJ's worst cancers whether it belongs to us directly or we feel it does by close association.
When I was younger I disliked feeling different all the time. I point it out, an proud of and flaunt it now. It's just me being me and there's nothing better for me.
💖💯💖
YESSSSSSSSS!!!
Belle Fiori nee too
One of the worst things being an INFJ is how scared people seem of me so I pretend to be more lighthearted to blend in, be social and “normal” but also to make others more comfortable. I don’t like others to feel weird or judged so I soften my intensity, but I end up feeling so drained and misunderstood because of this. I’ve grown a lot more to accept myself and learn communication skills so I can understand others, too. It’s a lifelong journey my fellow dark overthinking weirdos! But WORTH IT!
Yeah I minimize my intensity coz I also try to be lighthearted and easygoing. But, it eventually comes out and when it does people say even my sister, you're crazy, I guess she meant I'm unrealistic
"People can feel that we're kind of weird." Oof. Like a sea lion chilling with a bunch of seals.
Well, maybe a seal amongst sea lions.
More like a narwhal chilling with seals and sea lions.
Awe my co-teacher/best friend! I brought her here lmao!
Weird is good :)
@@melaniedistefano3514 oh shit, it's you! :) yes, you definitely are the reason I'm here! 💜
I love how you wrapped up the video talking about coming out into the "real world." We INFJs have all the characteristics necessary to change people's lives, like you are doing with this channel. And really, to change the world. But we are taught from a very young age, at least I was, that we are weird and that we need to tone our authentic self down a bit to fit in. So we stop coming out and stay in our own heads. We continue that into adulthood. It's hard to get out of, but I feel like at 42, I'm very close. I'm putting myself into the world in a very real way. It's scary but necessary and amazing! Thank you for putting your authentic self out into the world!
I feel the same way Amanda! Real ones 💕🙏🏼
I relate to this comment so much
lol ya myt parents make me think im weird lol
I’d love to sit down with you and just have a good chat about life for a couple hours. This video reminds me that I am understood, just not by everyone. Thank you, FJ, for being one of the ones who understands.
It’s amazing how, as an INFJ, comments like, “You’re so quiet!” or people looking at you like they don’t know how to approach or deal with you is so common. Meanwhile you’re going a million miles a minute in your brain, all on your own.
The fact we can even read the apprehension seeping out of them is so INFJ. 🙈
I dont want to say whats on my mind cuz it is dark
Dude spot on
Same
The real world is kind of overwhelming though. I know I can't be the only INFJ who gets approached by strangers all the time, telling me their lives' stories. People love talking at me, notice I did not say TO ME. It's like they dump their crap all over me, not even considering my input (that comes when someone knows me a little better).
So yeah, we need to live in the real world, it's just super unconfortable.
This resonates. I've literally had a friend who I would see 1-2 times a year, instinctively fall on me (he has a wide circle of friends) when his marriage went into crisis. He spent 2 weeks living with me while I helped him understand himself. Naturally he's back in the marriage now and I rarely see him again. You'd think I'd feel taken advantage of maybe, but absolutely not. I'm glad when others understand that I can help.
@@mikeoconnor2894 Yes, it's good to be able to help your friends. Key word here being friends.
I have no problems listening and playing therapist to any of my friends any time they need me. The issue for me lies when strangers do this (some of them upon first meeting).
Also, some co-workers do this too. I find myself somewhat resenting one of my co-workers because all she seems to do lately in whine at me. Every time she talks to me, she's complaining about one thing or another, expecting me to help her out. It's exhausting to have her dump all of her emotional turmoil all over me as soon as the day starts. It's like I'm playing a weird version of whack-a-mole. It's come to the point where not only do I feel used, but I believe that she's become complacent and lazy. Why worry about her problems if she knows I can help her solve them?
I find it hard to say no to people when they ask for help, and she's found this weak spot and is abusing the hell out of it.
“Talk at you later” wtf how about talk with me. I hear you...it’s a weird feeling sometimes like having your kindness taken for granted. Recognized for being a great listener. Not quite valued due to an insecurity of your unending depth.
@@MsMnlc Agreed. At this point I find the "emotional dump" exhausting and irritating
I’ve actually been referred to as an “emotional dumpster” once by someone who I was close friends with at the time. To them it was a compliment I guess? We’re not friends anymore for multiple reasons but hearing that was on the one hand uplifting (knowing that people can come to me for help either with their emotions or anything) but equally it felt very demeaning as it made me feel as though my friendship wasn’t valued.
I have been called weird all my life. I have decided to own it and describe myself as unique. Thank you for explaining why I’m so misunderstood. It’s been hard. When I perceive energy but told I’m wrong, I feel like I’m been gaslighted. So I’ve been forced to not share.
I find it extremely difficult to communicate with Se dominant people. They find my Ni so confusing and they often dismiss my insights. I only truly share my Ni through music and my acting.
YES! Both my parents are sensing type and it's really hard to communicate with them because of this
@@psychonautmaddy7409 I feel sorry for you for that! It's so easy to become misunderstood with sensing types. My mum is an intj and at least I can communicate effectively with her. I tend to avoid some sensing types, but there are many exceptions as always.
EXACTLY then I am left not even wanting to continue a conversation if we're just gonna tread on the surface
But music and acting is Se so they probably understand you more than you give them cred for, also if you love expressing how misunderstood you are then maybe you have stronger fi than fe
@@katieross6172 I disagree, using Ni to simulate Se results in some pretty good acting. Check out Ni dominant actors such as Daniel Day Lewis, Benedict Cumberbatch, Russell Crowe etc. Also, I haven't made a song talking about how misunderstood I am, the one I'm making now is about the apocalypse brought upon by human greed.
I get told “You’re overthinking it” every time I express a fraction of what’s going on in my head. I dissect things from every possible perspective. I’ve started to realise most people don’t think so deeply… that’s how I feel misunderstood mainly
Best advice I ever got from someone I believe to be an ESTP: "You think to much and don't do enough."
Completely agree with you, Frank. We need to develop our other functions. INFJs have some pretty incredible gifts, and we need to get out there and find our niche where we can share successfully. It ain't easy, but it's sure worth it.
I work with animals ..much easier ! 💚
People are never going to be supportive, no matter what. They love to put us down and not think about OUR feelings. It's easier for them. I'd rather work on my own. Every time I try to reach out, I get burned. I'm tired of it.
About last month...someone told me I take everything in life serious because I was trying to explain what a word that he chosen for a particular thing we were planning for reflected. I really felt so bad & misunderstood.
As an INFJ, I have found evangelization and patient care to be my gifts since I can sense what people are thinking and feeling before they say it. Without other people to push me to those areas, I would not have found them nor my talent in them.
@@bumblebee803 I can entirely relate. Unfortunately it has meant cutting everyone out of my life just to try and keep some sense of self. I don't know that it was the right move but being around others who had zero regard for how they were treating me was killing me. Now, it'll be the loneliness that kills me.. Being in Australia right now is killing me. I don't comprehend this society we've built for ourselves. It's soul-destroying. I aim to 'be like water' but it feels less and less achievable. Hope you're surviving somewhat intact, BB 💞
Generic person: "Who are you?"
Me: "I'm an observant of human nature."
Would buy a shirt that said "Introverted Intuition"!!!
@Arora Thorne yeah I like that
How about
Introverted Intuition:
Don't ask, I can't explain
Wait no, then people would be more inclined to ask, I don't want that.
@@crisbowman I would definitely wear that shirt
@Jordan Taylors me too😁
I need one now!!
That's exactly it! There is so much I think and feel and have learned about religion, spirituality, philosophy, consciousness, etc. and I have a hard time expressing it and when I do start to even try, people just don't care. It's weird, deep, and uncomfortable and most people don't want to go there so I feel so alone a lot of the time.
Yes samee it's like I read too much into their body language, that my mind says they are not interested, you are too abstract so I don't bother sharing it with other people now
Me: * expounds upon the vivid imaginings of my thoughts *
Spouse: That made no sense. Say it differently.
Me: I'm digging up plants this weekend.
(this short dialogue is based upon a true story)
So. Many. Times.
My best convos are with myself while digging in the plants.
@@Tanagra180 yess i agree but mine is when i'm raking the leaves after they go all over the place
Perfect
Yes! This!
Learning that I’m an INFJ has been a life changing piece of self knowledgeable especially due to the fact that I’ve always deeply desired to be understood because I was completely misunderstood which warranted much inner turmoil throughout my life...learning about INFJs has greatly helped with this strong desire and so did my man FJ
I often think by way of images, (almost like dreaming while awake) which allows me to consciously interpret "unconscious" messages in the form of abstractions.
Yes, me too
Yes! This is me as well.
YES! When I talk to my friends/family and I'm trying to explain something often times I have to pause and explain the images in my head, as best as I can. So abstract. Love hearing others are similar. 😘
Me too
Look up the terms hyperphantasia and aphantasia! Aphantasia is when someone's brain literally cannot conjure images up in their minds, hyperphantasia is the opposite end of the spectrum where thought mostly comes through in imagery/abstract visual symbols/pictures. I thought I was going crazy when this trait first started flowering in my own mind! Lol
I used to hate being so different from others and how it was easier for normal people to fit in when I couldn't because of my weirdly wired brain, but now I see it as a great thing, like a super strength because it really helped me find good people without dealing with the bad ones, it made me stand out and let people know that I'm a reliable person and trustworthy, it made connections with people who do understand me a lot more special. Knowing that I have at least one person out there who can understand my complexity is the best thing to ever happen to me.
" People don't know what the heck we're talking about " ,
I felt that ..... It feels like I'm talking using an ALIEN LANGUAGE when talking to people & I'd stop my self right there, they'll never understand me after all.
...
Our energy will be at sake if we connect to people & let them understand us. Lol.
...
Thanks Frank ♥
@Christina Simpler We are ❤
Whenever I talk to people I feel like they stare through me. Almost like they can't believe that I am " real". It is one of the reasons that I hate public speaking.
I became friends with one of my coworkers pretty much the moment we started talking. It was like we were both intuitively open with each other when that is not really typical with me. We went super deep about the nature of reality and had this abstract stuff come up - art, music, the cosmos, aliens. It was so refreshing and our weird off the cuff style of jokes meshed really well. I asked her what her MBTI type was - she is an INFJ, I’m an ENFP. I think this type is so interesting.
I often get looks from others like there are multiple squirrels emerging from my nostrils.
I know! I hate that look I get.
😂😂 the stare
Me too but i don't care
ugh sometimes I mind, sometimes I don't. yet it is difficult seeing such expressions especially when you are presenting in front of people and the lot you see just have that...stare. it hurts but I don't mind at the same time? I don't know, we are just different.
Same.
I agree 100% that being misunderstood helps nobody; however, why should I have to tone myself down (be it my introverted intuition, for example here) or change myself for other people? My gift (here our dominant function) should shine through most, not saying we shouldn’t develop our other functions. Why can’t others at least try to understand us? I’m frankly tired, and have done on many occasions, of changing or “toning myself down” for the sake of the majority population or personality type. To have friends or fit in. Love me for me :( Surely, we were made this way for a reason. At the very least combine it together, for lack of a better word, with our other functions.
there should be a mbti subject in every school.. like if u agree :)
and an infj as teacher if one is aviable
I don’t think it should be required though...
Some psychology classes have a unit on it, but I think it is largely considered a "pseudoscience".
It was mentioned in my “Personal Development class” back in high school actually. It was a required class for everyone.
There is in my school
I feel this is why I have anxiety in social situations... it feels like every time I open my mouth people look at me weird like I've spoken gibberish...
Also is it an infj thing when you can predict events based on small details around us?.. for example: I notice one of my kids doing something that can get them hurt but usually seconds after I warn them they always get hurt the way I predicted it to happen...
I'm listening to every word you say but.... I'm really enjoying watching the evolution of you hair. It keeps getting better! 😌
ha ha thanks
@@FrankJames I take pleasure in watching your journey (2024)
as an INFJ, the following resonates with me: "we are spiritual beings having a human experience..."
I’d buy the merch, let’s be real. 🤣
who knew it would come to me as an afterthought
I would love it!!!!
True that ❤
@UA-cam Veterinarian lmao!🌨✋👕💬
I would 100% buy merch
INFJ: *speaks eloquently in metaphors for two hours*...so that's the meaning of life basically.
Everyone else: but how do you know?
INFJ: *thinks back on the myriad weird connections and random inspirations and aha moments that have led up to their insights*...I JUST KNOW OK, TRUST ME. I did all this work for you so you don't have to, just trust me ok, I've got this.
Everyone else: if you can't come up with reasons or facts then you must not be very reliable, sorry. Not gonna take your insights seriously.
INFJ: *feels like biblical prophet ignored and misunderstood by everyone*.
The struggle is real.
Developing Ti has helped a little with this issue, I rely on it a lot when trying to convey the meaning that I perceive through Ni. But it's tough, I really do get the feeling that intuition is so undervalued in our modern society and that this makes it so hard for INFJs to be taken seriously, even though their insights could be super useful to the community.
THISSS is spot on. Think about a topic, do some research, even read facts, process it all through Ni, come to a conclusion, try to share my conclusion.
Other people: "Can you cite that source? What are the numbers that lead you to this conclusion?"
Me: "Uhhh I don't remember the details but trust me they were accurate and this is it because like... I know it."
Omgggg YESSSS☝🏾☝🏾☝🏾☝🏾I’m infj Scorpio 🤦🏾♀️
My cat just watched it, staring at your head for the entire span of 11 minutes. LOL we get you - you da coolest Frank of all Jameses. Glad you're back. hehe
I have spent hours....days.... doing the "I am Someone Who" exercise to help me define just who I am, what I like and don't like.
Journaling and writing my characteristics helps me....it is written .....thus it must be.
Hey Frank - I’m going to share my VP ( view point ) First of all, I was born this way. Next, I spent my whole life, many decades trying to fit in with others, join the crowd, etc. because I thought they were having more fun. Well they certainly were moving around & laughing out loud while I was mostly quiet & still. 3. It doesn’t work to try to make connections with the general masses because they are of a collective mindset. If you try sharing your perspective with them, or one of those people who are “connected to reality “, as you put it.. they will put all their energy into trying to tear your Vp apart.. That’s how they roll. ~ Trying to fit it with people from “the real world”, as you so put it... I learned many things..I learned stealing, cursing, smoking, drinking, doing drugs, behaving violently, & engaging in risky behaviors including sex, by age 16. I would continue to try any & every way to fit in with these people who don’t give a shit about people & relationships. Because they ARE all surface. Their entire investments are about surface ( superficial ) And they love INFJ because so many are misjudging themselves, under valuing who & what they really are.. Do you know that people like us may not be able to transmit our ideas to the general public, and it’s not because we are mentally deficient or defective, it’s because we are so deep & so complex. In short, they are not able to understand us ... and quite frankly I don’t have time to waste. I already wasted lots of time.. You know, it’s our job to take our skills & develop ourselves as far as we can. That’s our true responsibility to ourselves & this planet. 🌞👈🏼 We are the gatekeepers of the newer wider broader complex way of human understanding .. think Steve Jobs and other geniuses like him. They did not waste time trying to hang out or fit in with the cool kids. It’s ok to be a nerd 🧐 I own my shit now adays .. I wouldn’t want to be someone else. How do I know ? Because I’m old as the hills & all that surface beauty fades, and people get married & have kids & live like robots. A brilliant mind is a thing forever, because the ideas are NOT some rubbish inside the head .. it’s things we pick up from listening to the UNIVERSE .... 🤩 I own this pony show now... wouldn’t trade it for anything . 🤓
I feel you! 👏👏
You are someone I could connect with. And I’m old too. Lol.
Well said.
❤
Interesting thought!!
You just made me realise: Emmanuel Kant was soooo INFJ!!
thank you so much for making these. you always make me feel like I am not alone in this.
So happy I found this channel. Just felt like the black sheep my whole life. Thank you for helping the world to understand INFJs 💙
I feel INFJs are misunderstood because most people think we're actually INFPs or INTJ and most don't grasp our full personality.
I feel like I’m alright with not being fully understood, now that I’m older. As a kid, it was scary to realize that not everyone was a weirdo with obsessive thoughts like me, and I learned to keep a lot of who I am largely to myself. Now, that’s what’s comfortable for me. I think I’m good at using extraverted feeling to understand how to appear to people in order to best connect with them, and I kinda get a kick out of seeing how people’s perceptions of me are different based on what sides of myself I show to them.
I’m not trying to be disingenuous or anything when I do this, because every side of who I am is grounded in the same values/interests/etc...but there are some parts of me that are just for me, and I like it that way. I’m thinking of that stupid Goo Goo Dolls song from the 90s - I don’t want the world to see me, cause I don’t think that they’d understand. 😂 Aka I’ve got dat Ni @ play all the time.
Same, I've just embraced my weirdness and try to blend in with the norms when I'm out and about...doesn't always work, but it helps. To make this easier, I try to find at least one thing that I have in common with someone and go with that for interacting with them...like you mentioned, I believe that's the reason why different people perceive me differently.
I have a friend who always envied this ability to wear different hats for different people, while I envy how he's always 100% himself, no matter where he is or who he's talking to. We're sharing tips on how to be more like each other. Him to get along better with others, me because I always feel like I'm playing a role for someone else and it's exhausting.
I feel like it has been the opposite for me. I was far more okay with being weird and in my own little world when I was younger. It's much harder for me now because it has caused me so much depression and anxiety.
"I'm not contradicting myself man! You don't understand! Even though I have that meaning I also can understand this perspective, but think it's the lesser one."
We are better than misunderstood.tired of that pigeonhole. Tired of toning down intensity and intuition to keep people comfortable.its taken 34 years, but I'm at a place now that I'm ready to reveal myself. I've literally written my way around my mind to figure out my functions,my bank of data and I'm ready to take a shot at being heard and understood.we are writers, we are so full of talent, it's time we show them, the world, what we can bring to the table:) I love what we have to offer.we are good people with mindful agendas.
Amen!
Yes we are!
It's so interesting to see someone else explain my feelings with words (it's in all of your videos, not just this one). I think only another INFJ would know these things and be able to feel them.
When I first found your channel I was so shocked on how you described me so well. I binge watched one video after another because you explained my feelings/thinking so well.
I just want to say thank you for not stopping and still uploading videos till this day. Knowing that there is someone out there who mostly is like me makes me feel understood for once in my life 💙
Literally I just thought I was so weird and that people understood me but only to a certain level and then every video I’ve watched of yours about INFJs have described me and it’s just so relieving. Thank you for putting yourself out there and doing this. Trust me as INFJ I know that’s hard!
Nobody:
Frank James: Nay, we shan’t stop there.
lol
And yet all INFJs everywhere rejoiced 😂
❤❤❤
I really enjoyed this video. Thanks for sharing!
Someone: what’s wrong? How are you?
Me: I can feel my body. Feel the wavelengths or rather energy rippling down through my body I could float off the ground the overwhelming desire to fly just soar the skies gazing at the never ending wonders of the world nay of life. Of space. To gaze and marvel and contemplate......
Someone: are you high?
Me: ...I’m ok...
Lmao so many times I’ve been with friends and I say something and they’re liked “I know you’re not but you sound like you’re highl
Who am I? I'm an unfolding pattern that's excited to experience this existence of unfolding patterns so I can use them to further complicate my own.
I hear music
I am an INFJ, always trying to grow, all too aware of my shortcomings in my personality, but always feel like I hit a wall as to HOW to get there. I need a mentor like you, who goes through it too.
I love your stuff. I went to therapy for years trying to kill the "crazy" part of myself, and make it normal... that part of me that sees things that others don't see, the part that experiences psychic intuition or empathy or telepathy or whatnot. I decide to just say fuck it, I'm going with the craziness because it's really my superpower, even if it gets weird or is wrong sometimes it's also the source of the good things I've been able to accomplish.
This is how i see myself:
If i let people through my door, they stand in the hallway. It's just soo hard to open the door to the living room.
"what the fuck are you talking about? It's like you're speaking in riddles." Can't stress how often I get the "speaking in riddles" whenever I try to open up to people. Why can't they understand me? I understand me. It makes being around people exhausting. Thank you for this video!
Don't tell the advertisers that we've all got our fingers hovering over the Skip tab
ha
off topic but just wanted to say that your voice and the speed/pace you speak in is so calm and soothing
Its like whenever i talk about my deepest thoughts n stuff and i just want the other person to get the gist and just listen to me (since i am very bad at explaining stuff to other people) but it always ends up in other person telling my how wrong thoughts and opinions i am having and starts to give me advice, telling me whats right n wrong
Like wth..."Its not an opinion , these are my thoughts and who the hell are you to say that its wrong without even understanding the whole shit. And i didn't even asked your advice or opinion on my thoughts! I just want you to listen cuz i m trying my level best here to express my inner deepest thoughts, which is nowhere easy for me. I am trying to make you understand how i am as a person..."
Waste of energy seriously..........
Dude u are so right lmao 😂
This is so spot on... its as though we can tell that we are in a matrix, a dream world in which the symbols are the most real things. We see the underlying things, the code behind things. I guess that’s what it is, we are the decoders of the universe. We want to make concepts solid, concrete, we want to know the WHY! The REASON! I tend to dream often and my dreams usually have a pretty deep meaning. Any other of you INFJs experience this?
Also, I feel VERY passionate about sharing my inner world and thoughts through my art. I’m also working on open expression (art can take on ambiguous or mysterious expression). I put things out to share, but I don’t connect with others without testing them first to see if they can truly understand me or at least have the same morality as I do. I find that speaking with people on the same spiritual level, being equally yolked, makes things easier, but as to the way my brain works... I will always try to explain it, and someday I’ll get back to all y’all on that 😂
As an INFJ I have had very abstract dreams and some have even predicted a future problem. It’s crazy how we can see things so deeply.
Yeah I have been having very vivid dreams lately. I try to write it down sometimes, or just keep repeating the dream in my head in order to remember it, and the message I think it was trying to tell me.
Times that I feel alone in the world, and that no one gets me at all, reading Khalil Gibran has really helped get me through some tough times. There's a quote from one of his books, the Prophet, that makes mention of the gears of life grinding against his own and wanting to escape all society. I can absolutely relate to that; it helped me to think through it instead of obsessing over it.
“You have been told that, even like a chain, you are as weak as your weakest link.
This is but half the truth.
You are also as strong as your strongest link.
To measure you by your smallest deed is to reckon the power of the ocean
by the frailty of its foam.
To judge you by your failures is to cast blame upon the seasons for their inconstancy.”
― Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
Spot on. Lot of good points. Thank you for acknowledging how difficult it can be to articulate what makes sense in my mental landscape.
I can quite understand, I think. For example, some ppl asked me why I avoid some other ppl, or treat someone in a certain way, or why I do a certain thing instead of another. It's not easy to explain, it's just that I fell like there's a pattern in some kind of behaviours and some immages that just make sense and I trust those feeling, that logic and, it's like a labyrinth where u have to find the exit
I am an ISTJ, and I love getting into the minds of people, esp my friends. For the INFJ’s in my life, I ask specific questions which makes them open up and give me an insight into their world. It’s fascinating.
I'm an INFJ and my mom is an ISTJ and we get along really well. I mean, when we don't accidentally stress each other out, hahaha. But yeah, you guys are awesome. We force each other to use our inferior functions, and it's very helpful I think.
@@sonyafirefly3879 i’m INFJ and my Mom is INFP, we have our similarities and differences but we also get along very well
I attempted to describe my process to someone, I explained it as imaging a painting you saw, you loved the painting so much that it is right there in your mind, burned there and you know exactly what it looks like...now try to explain what it looks like to others... not the best but basically my thoughts are not smooth and crisp like others it's more smeered and blurred making perfect sense but I have to put it into word, almost like the thoughts were not words yet....😅 I don't think I explained that right but maybe you can get the idea
So Plato's allegory of the cave always spoke volumes to me as an INFJ. What do you think about that as a kind of "simile" way of teaching what you're saying?
Plato is thought to have been an INFJ, so that makes a lot of sense!
Reading INFJs like Dante, Spinoza, Plato, and Jung, is very comforting to me - it's nice to step inside a mind that is so familiar to your own for once.
@@ThaleiaFantasy Oh, that explains why I like Plato so much, hahahaha. Did you know that Dostoevsky was also considered to be an INFJ? If you haven't already, you should take a crack at The Brothers Karamazov. It is an incredible breakdown and subsequent condensing of what Dostoevsky considered to be the ultimate truth.
It didn't surprise me that I loved Dostoevsky, I read almost all his works one after another. He felt like kindred spirit. What surprised me and still does is how is he so widely celebrated. And so does Jung and Plato and other 'famous' INJFs. Why did the world accept their 'crazy' but not my 'crazy' even when my 'crazy' is not as crazy as their 'crazy' ~ if you get what I mean.
I've taken a lazy day, and have been binge watching your videos. Great content! It's refreshing to have someone to relate to. As an INFJ, it's so easy to understand others..while feeling that no one understands you. Which is why I feel more alone surrounded by people sometimes,than I do when I'm by myself. Congrats on the success of your channel,Frank :)
The way you speak about signs and communication makes me think about semiotics. I study art history, and with that semiotics. A lot of my classmates always find it hard to understand, but to me as an infj it usually makes sense, but I have an hard time explaining why it makes sense 😂
Maria Forsblad ENTP here and I freaking LOVE semiotics. 👍
Many people see communication as concrete they ignore the possibility of other meaning. Language is symbolic
Your stuggle to explain this almost difficult topic is so real to me. I have many people just tell me I am impossible...and that I will never be understood. Then someone dear and caring will try to ask me whats going on inside my head...and all of a sudden it as if I don't speak English. Which in a weird way is true. I speak a different language in my head. A language with symbols, types, catergories and feelings. I can see something someone in the real world struggling and I can figure out exactly why and when it started and how to fix it...then they ask me how I figured it out...and I can't explain. I just did. People that hang around me a lot sometimes look at me and realized they don't know me. When people ask me what I have been thinking about....I just glitch. I have seperated real life and the vunerable thoughts and feelings in my head with a language barrier. I don't have to exposed myself unless I choose to struggle to translate my thoughts and feelings to you. And when I do show my feelings or explain my thoughts (if you were actually able to sit and hear me out!! XD) you still don't understand. But in a way...I'd like to think you kinda understood. ;)
I 100% agree with this whole video! I’m really glad I found your channel. You explain things very well. :)
well thanks! I'm glad you're here too, Danielle!
He really gets it. Makes you feel not so alone.
i like to think that i am an infj whos learned to communicate parts her inner world thats understandable to people through embodying an extroverted persona thus being able to learn, adapt, and deliver my thoughts to people and it has done me wonders. coupled with majoring in a course that is heavily anchored on sociology, political, science, economics, and even psychology to an extent, made me able to articulate and concretize this inner world/s
It's a Feeling. You get it more than most anyone. And being weird, running on intuition, being Infj I'm Thankful. You make me feel Better. Truly. *The reason Infjs say "Do you know what I'm talking about?" Is because you don't.*
We just see it. Honestly, I think we see what it's all really about. Thank you for the video! 🦋 Tauney 💗 Love your room btw! And you're rocking that look. Looking good, looks good on you! 🥀
Sometimes I wished I didn't see peoples true feelings about me despite their words attempting to express the opposite.
i agree; most of the time i just dont bother mentioning or explaining things with the assumption that people won't understand and i won't be able to articulate it properly, or worse that people won't take me seriously or mock me. confidence in your own concepts and knowing the language to express them is always difficult, even and especially with good friends. the expectation is a struggle, and sometimes it's easier to smile and say nothing rather than drag everyone into a terrain you're not confident in yourself
Finally found my tribe :) I feel normal now.
I think Conceptual Blending is the term that you are looking for regarding the interpretation of symbols and using them for predictive tools. I just heard a lecture on the term the other day with regard to tarot.
Anecdotally, the INFJ recognizes that we are not that special, as humans, and recognizes/ respects that humans are prone to power plays, manipulation- to recover the power they feel they’ve lost, or to self-protect “the next time.”
Mimicry, is an underestimated unconscious behavior for survival. Babies use it in language acquisition and we don’t stop when we get older. We add to our schema each time we have a positive or negative experience and those who “teach” us become a part of our inner and outer dialogue. As such, we have created a world full of mirrors- making the archetypes- symbols and patterns incredibly useful in self-protection.
I think this personality type is developed through trauma, so Tempering Cognitive Distortions from the traumas sustained, is a challenge to overcome and costs the INFJ in credibility until it’s reconciled. INFJ never lives in the moment. We are looking behind and in front at all times and this fear and anxiety perpetuates the distortion. The goal is temperance and Zen is phenomenal for the INFJ.
Im typing this on my phone and it’s a pain in the ass. Sorry 😆
@Cosmic Cardinal what a completely interesting piece of information. I always wonder how many "gems" are hidden in UA-cam comments. Thanks for bothering to explain this 🙏👍
That lecture you heard sounds very interesting. who gave the lecture?
Everything else you covered was 100% relatable and understandable. Didn't want to be in the negative with the last comment, I wish I could dial down to bring up the extroversion but I'm so on top of my own behavior that it seems literally impossible..
So true, those "I don't knows" every time I try to tell someone what I'm feeling.
“What does that even mean” - lol everyone talking to me every second of my life
You have to admit that if every person liked to live on the surface with simple questions and simple answers this world would be Freaking boring! :-)
It's the people that dig into the side of the mountain that find the gemstones.
Right?!!:-) Never be ashamed of who you are or how you think or what interests you. Remember, there's a few thousand people here who understand exactly how you feel and would love to spend an afternoon talking to you and hearing about all of the wonderful ideas that you have. Who would want to have a cup of coffee with someone who wanted to talk about the weather and how they need to get new tires soon and that the package they ordered was late so they were going to write a complaint letter?! Naw... Don't cover up your intelligence and your uniqueness and your interesting way of thinking. Otherwise I'm going to lose all hope of ever having a satisfying conversation. :-) Love, Carly. See? I said it. I love you guys.💙 Carly, lover of deep thinkers who laugh at things other people never even understand because they are too busy talking about how they're almost out of Tide and they really want to get their brights brighter!!! Hale... I will throw in my new blue shirt with my white sheets if I feel like it. :-) Be happy! There's plenty of time to hide your bald spot under a cap someday. Smiling! Carly
Remember Freud? Yeah That guy. He had some pretty wacky ideas but we remember him.
There’s actually a small part of me that does enjoy explaining my mindset (provided that I feel other person is genuinely trying to learn). Because it’s like in the interaction, there’s a mutual challenge in understanding how the other person processes that information. And all the while, I’m (metaphorically) opening a window to my mind and letting the other person peak inside. I find the whole thing oddly satisfying because I’m putting into practice the idea that I know I’m going to leave the interaction feeling ok regardless as to whether or not they understand. At the end of the day, I’m content with my identity and value that that opportunity to learn happened in the first place.
Recently, I almost thought I was an INTJ because I do a lot of work with logical systems and my emotions had been stunted. But after a closer looks at what the functions actually mean and coming to the understanding that the functions make the type and not vise-versa, I came to finally accept that I really am an INFJ. Introverted intuition, at least for me, has definitely been a source of mental isolation. When I start learning something, I don't really learn like everyone else. And, in many cases, it takes me more time. Nevertheless, when I finally do get it, I'm often faster, more comprehensive, or more efficient than my peers. Ni is like spelling by syllable. You "feel" how something should be done and it just makes sense to you. You "feel" that something aligns with this or that and then things click. It's not always a straightforward connection or a logical path from A to B. In fact, I'd say that if someone were to look at the connections in our minds, most would see a magnificent tangle. A web of paths, twists, and turns that lead in circles. But I think from our native view, we can see shapes that make sense to us and use those shapes to get around. Ni looks at something and tries to create a miniature system template to be added to our super framework of understanding. Take a sandwich. In reality, a sandwich is usually composed of some meat, maybe some veggies, and some bread. Most sandwiches fit within your hand, are easy to grab, and have a good record of getting us from hungry to satisfied or at least functional. It's food and many times it tastes great. To Ni, a sandwich is the feeling you get when you taste the lunch meat. It's all those times it relieved you when your stomach was terrorizing you. It's this little package of fuel that comes with a ceiling and floor but always lacks walls. To Ni, a thing is an experience or impression. In reality, a thing occupies space, has various properties that are subject to the laws of physics, and usually has a price that is related to the currency of ones place of birth.
I could tell this was ( maybe) bit hard for you, and it is hard to articulate as you did to other people how it feels , I am not so good at doing that,(I find some music lyrics are often as close as I can get)
Yeah...I guess it's true...I don't really share much about me to people, but only the closest friends, the ones I can truly vibe and connect with out of this huge sea of faces
So, basically, we watch and process body language like no other..... the little nuances, tone of voice..... EVERYTHING and our inner dialogue instantly understands this none surface obvious stuff........ that 55 percent body language was made for INFJs, most folk concentrate on the 7 percent of what folk actually say, our brains pick up everything else and ignore the 'what was said' bit...... I know I do, never led me wrong
Has anyone else noticed that folks will misuse our information as well if you allow?
Trista Terrell yes. We tend to attract narcissistic power tripping personalities. those who manipulate & twist things to get what they want
Yeah, idea stealers
I’m sometimes afraid to divulge too much information to people because of this. People can use our insights for manipulative gain
As Carl Jung said:
You know.
But you don’t know how or why you know.
But you know.
Then the question becomes, do you share with anyone what you know?
Most INFJs don’t because it would or could have the potential to change someone’s world. It may be better for that person to not have the information.
Men have always told me I am “different” and mysterious, but honestly I just skip to the beat of my own drum and do not connect with how extroverts exist in this world.
we care but when we can never get anyone to understand we find it a waste of our time.