INFJ: "I don't know what I'm doing with my life!"
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- Опубліковано 11 вер 2024
- What to do when you feel like you don't know yourself and don't know what to do in life.
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"Just do it!" Sorry Frank but Shia LaBeouf beat you to it five years ago! P.S I miss when you use to play guitar bass in the midst of a video.
Nice and interesting video according to the level of your knowledge. A serious topic and most of the people just like the way this topic 's treated around here. Thanks for this smart alternative, even if there's no Heather Locklear nor brown Pewdie there !
Thank you
this was good Frank , thhaanks.
To summarize: a person that had a traumatic event in their life got me to sign up for a 10k . So now, I have no choice but to prep myself for this. I admit that this has been a catalyst for me to get my butt in shape. I listen to various upbeat music to get “ in the zone”. So, yeah.. that’s my motivation.
INFJ here I've been doing a FJ marathon lately because I've honestly never been more understood
Giorgia Rota That's exactly where I am at.
Same here
Same with me as well
Same
Right? 😌
FJ is the internet therapist for INFJ’s
Hah Enfp here🍀
We all need his therapy
@@elenol1310 funnily enough i was ENFP for about 15 years.... and am pretty much an INFJ now lol
@@KLLKKL you know what, i cant still figure out whether i am an infp, enfp or infj ? Btw ,what do you think , does mbti personality type kind of limit people in a way, cuz people evolve ,change whole their lives ,it's a bit strange to define them as 1 thing + two enfp's won't do things the same way ,so yeah;)
@@elenol1310 I find that the MBTI types aren't a limiting title, but rather just a way that you can help understand how you and other people think and interpret the world around them. I am an INFJ and, even though I don't fit in with every single thing said about the type, learning about the psychology behind it has helped me understand a lot! It might seem like it's a limiting title, but people aren't obligated to stick to one type their entire life, and they certainly shouldn't feel pressured to act a certain way because of their type. People change and evolve. MBTI is not a boundary, its just another tool you can use to understanding yourself if you want to use it.
I’m 52, I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up...
I've been saying that too for years and I'm 58!! We'll figure it out eventually. 😊
I think everyone feels like this, and it's okay. ❤️
Thank you! 31 and still waiting to feel like an adult with a vague idea what's what. Still don't have it. But I'm learning to like it this way :)
@joanna rushton I wouldn't worry. My dearly departed mother didn't find her "true calling" until she was well into her fifties. She went through a ton of jobs before she settled on... counselling max sec prisoners! She absolutely loved it: "her boys" as she called them even held a beautiful memorial for her, totally off their own backs - not even a nudge from prison authorities. There wasn't a dry eye in the house and the family are so proud of her. The point of this ramble is: things have a funny way of working themselves out when you're not even thinking about them. Break a nail ❤
Claire Russell that’s great, how wonderful, there’s hope for me yet then! I’ve been struggling tremendously recently since hearing I will be losing my house & everything I have, very depressed not knowing where I’m supposed to be and how to get there from nothing, but gonna take the advice, one step at a time, hopefully to a brighter future of who knows what!
I think there is this misconception that whatever choice we make in life is going to end up in punishment. We worry that somehow the fates will turn against us if we don't make the 'right' choice. The gift of wisdom is the realization that whatever path we choose, we will end up where we belong, and all of the other pieces will fall into place to get in line with that decision. There isn't punishment, just a different path. There are consequences, to be sure, but gladly INFJs have the intuitive ability to foresee their future based on the choices they are making today. Take a step into the unknown, into the darkness, and the light will follow.
Im just going to continue and be a fan*^¤♡♥ g roupy of you.ill be fine with that. I think everybody feels the same way. 😀 plus you do it for us yaaaaaaa
Jp nice to see you its raining here in canada. That's funny im typing and you said rainy as i typed rain. That's a marical
Keep up the brilliant videos love your little baby plant on the book shelf.
@@valkyriesimmonds7012 you accidentally commented under my comment...🤔😅
Also, I wanted to add that as an INFJ, I get so caught up in planning for life that I dont actually take the steps to live it. Don't get so lost in the planning that you don't live.
Lore F if you want to see “God” laugh, make a plan. 🌟
This was really helpful! (I remember seeing you in the livestreams haha)
"hi i'm 18 and i dont know what to do with my life"
me, who just turned 26: sure
Same here, bro! I feel ya!
35 her.still don't know .
@@reginalol5324 ok I'm 30 so I feel you..and its nothing wrong wit it ..ok alil but not lol
I feel like age is just arbitrary. It’s an illusion ...just like time! My human shell is 33 but my real self is eternal and I just keep getting better. 😆
I'm 31 and have changed careers 4 times. I desire meaning but meaning is inherently constantly changing. Just finding something that gives me enough money to explore meaning while not working without my soul dying will do. Good luck yo
Ok, now I'm thinking what am I doing with my life. Anxiety level 110%
Exactly my thoughts
Maria Josefina Vega omg same
Yeah.. I'm pretty anxious wut ppl think of my older comments that I'm cringing on..
@@vivisleyart YES THAT ME
@@vivisleyart JSKSJKS ME
5:13 am. INTJ has entered the chat to check on their cousins.
😅♥️
*nods*
✌
We love our cousins :D
Hey cuz!! Thanks for checking in on us! Lol
The lady that used to live in my apartment discovered at 48yrs old that she was an amazing painter. The following year, she moved to Sweden from Australia. Now she's approaching 60, still living abroad, making bank on her art exhibitions. THIS is the beauty of life: it's full of constant surprises. At ANY age, don't stress; use that energy to experiment!
At 38, I engaged in yet another career change (my career has been beautifully diverse). 2 years later, I'm building my own business venture.
If I can do it; anybody can ❤
"This is the beauty of life, it is full of surprises"
ISTJ, INTJ and INFJ all screaming in unison: "Idk about that one chief"
Cool story though
Love this. God bless u!❤
Oh my gosh! I am an Infj and I was just lying in bed thinking that I'm wasting my life!
Same!
Same
Sameee
I’m thinking I’m wasting my life every days, and especially every nights. So I never met a real good sleep. I feel like I wanted to sleep, but when preparing to sleep, suddenly I’m feeling I’m wasting my lifetime on the bed again.
Mood
Anyone else get super overwhelmed finding out they were an INFJ? Feeling SEEN for the first time in their lives then get hit with sinking disappointment wishing they weren't so alone?
I am literally laying in bed, can’t fall asleep and thinking about this exact topic.
Looked at my phone and this video drops.
Are you some sort of wizard? 😆
A wizard? You're a wizard Harry! I mean Frank 😁
Same! Keeps me up at night a lot
I think this is something INFJ cannot stop to think about
He was wrong then. If FJ is a wizard then a wizard did show up!! Lol
@@breathedeep2060 Then you know that your purpose is taking the hobbits to Isenguard!
This title screams out to me. I'm 31 and still have no idea.
Danielle Sebire Omgosh Im 31 too! I feel the same way...
Same here! 31 and still exploring....
I'm going to be 35 next month and still like this😅
I’ll be 31 in 5 years and hopefully will know by then 😬
This actually makes me feel so much better...30 and while my life looks like it makes sense on the outside, on the inside I feel completely lost. Good to know I'm not the only one 😊
Yesterday my mom asked me why do i read that many books, me as an INFJ said, to find out who i am and to find some answers. And my mom who lives in the concrete world was speechless at me.
I really needed to hear this right now (and I'm sure all the other INFJs did too). Thank you for this.
I totally agree !
@@waryaking what's your evidence .... i don't think because he know much infjs mindset
When you waste decades waiting for that wizard to show up in your village and then it turns out you've been the wizard all along.
Wow you’ve been the wizard all along… the wizard is you…
You’re a wizard harry
It’s crazy but comforting to know so many other INFJs are experiencing these worries and fears at the same time as me. I feel less alone now :)
“You can do way more than you think you can”
Lol
First thing I thought if when I saw the notification was - _"same"_
I'm 29 and realized this morning that I'm sick of putting myself down for not living a more "status quo" lifestyle (career, marriage, kids, house, etc.) I enjoy the 4w5-ness of myself, this bohemian/free spirit quality, and I'd like to develop more self-confidence to truly own that and own the choices I'm making in my life. My life is completely unstructured at the moment, which would usually make me feel anxious. However, without expectations, it actually feels very exciting. I'm appreciating not being tied down to anything, so I want to lean into that as much as possible without having to think "Oh no, what's next?" every time someone asks me "What do you do for a living?"
I relate to this comment so much.
5w4 infj here, are we all the same?
Waw! .. I'm an INFP 4w5 and feel the same way !.😮
At the end of the day We’re all winging it. Throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks 🍝 but if you don’t cook your pasta you’re not gonna have anything to throw 🤷🏾♀️ made sense at first 😂
Love it! Boil that pasta....maybe you need to change it to gluten free, but you don't know till you try...
Melissa Phillis glad it made sense outside of my mind 😂
I love it, Mauve! Made sense to me! 😁
This is perfect
the best analogy to life :D
Before this pandemic I was just at the threshold of feeling like my career/life was picking up. Now I feel lost and uncertain of the future again. I’m still chugging along and trying to be scrappy but it’s very hard not to worry if it’s all for naught because the economy is spiraling and nobody knows what’s going to happen and heeeere we go Maria step away from the keyboard
Maria Filar 💖
Omg I couldn’t relate more! It’s hard to feel centered these days..
Feeling the exact same way Maria. Was made redundant from a great job and ended a long term (toxic) relationship in February, picked myself up and managed to get some great leads for a new position (major upgrade) - finally felt my life was coming together after years of hard work and a lot of self improvement/growth... only for the virus to enter the picture. All that momentum, energy, and hope just came to a screeching halt with the lockdown. We'll be alright though. Everything that you are, and everything you've built, all the growth you've experienced to get to that threshold/feeling isn't wasted. All of the components, and the drive that got you to that place still exist, even if things might seem complicated and further away at the moment. New doors will open again. Tend to your immediate needs, and to those of your loved ones, and stay kind to yourself
When I was 18 i thought my purpose would automatically unfold and happen. I didn't anticipate all the antagonists in this life. ❤
I grew up with a plan for my life that I didn't exactly pick but seemed to fit my personality and the lifestyle I wanted. I'm 22 soon, flunked out of medical school, have no clue what I am going to do. I like so many things in such opposite directions and have no idea which way to go because I'd be going in blind.
That's exactly how I feel! I have so many interests, but they are so different from each other and none of them fulfills me 100%. I get bored of things very easily and it is so confusing
I also quit medical school couple of years ago and it was the best decision of my life, hang in there
Ugh. I feel you.
@@anthipaganou3727 omg same. I always feel like nobody understands me because I can't focus on just one thing to do. I keep changing my hobbies because everything gets boring after a while and when I talk about something I'm actually interested in nobody takes me serious because they think it is just 'one of my phases'.
@@pluuvia1553 omg the part about not being taken seriously, I've felt it so many times. I am close to choosing a field of study for university, but I always change the subject I want to study. My parents always say "are you sure this is what you want or will you change your mind again?". We've had a lot of fights because of this, they think I am immature for not knowing what I want to study... Glad I'm not the only one who feels like this!
Your humility and ability to laugh at yourself, is a charm that so many men lack. May it become more common, I say.
Amen
@@elsapatuky3663 hello! 🥺
You have no idea how many times i googled this question 🤣
I used wiki how, now I’m a successful college student lol 😂
31 here... I just signed up for a beginners coding course, and started working out.. I’ll start here lol
It's never too late
35 and I’ll be doing something like that starting next week
You got this bro. Good luck ❤️
@@rafaelsoriajr did you start??
Hows it going?
I'm 52. I'm an INFJ. And I still don't know what I'm doing with my life.
I’m a 75 year old INFJ. Life is an adventure of creating (and planning) next steps. The juice is in the surprise
"the intuitives, INFJs, INFPs etc... feel obligated to figure out [the meaning of their lives] first before they jump into the sensory world..." 😳 Damn, that was so spot on! Thanks for the vid. Very helpful. Pretty much saying to take baby steps and make an actual physical/sensory move to live life before you feel it passing you by coz life has no greater meaning, really, than to be lived by being experienced.
That one dislike is the one person who doesn't struggle with their life.
It's Timmy. He doesn't realize he is the antagonist of all the other personalities because Timmy is a narcissist.
@@starhairthetutor3765 very True.
I don't struggle with mine and still I like so...
I’m reinventing myself at 30 after having a career as a flight attendant since I was 20-28 yrs old. Don’t worry about your timeline! Everyone is in their own time zone
What are you doing right now, if I may ask? From a 31y flight attendant wanting to reinvent her life :)
@@Larrorex Hi! Im excited for you! After I left the industry, I took a year-ish off to try & figure out what I ENJOYED doing & if there’s any way to make money doing that (legitimately, haha). I landed on enrolling in an Esthetics program to become a licensed esthetician in my state (IL). After completing the program & passing the state board, I started looking for jobs. At this moment I am working from home being a scheduler for a local gutter cleaning, window washing & power washing company in my area. Wasn’t in my plan & the only reason I applied for this type of job that was outside my new profession was because it seemed to work best with my schedule/lifestyle. So now I am doing the complete opposite of the FA life. I still am able to have the flexibility to use my esthetician license any time I want so it wasn’t a complete waste of time & money! My best advice is find something you’re already doing that brings you joy/happiness & if you can make money that way…try! & let the journey take you where you need to be ✨
@@vensgrandson Thank you so much for taking the time to reply! I really appreciate your insights. Right now I'm scared of letting the job go (even though my health cannot take it anymore) but my plan is to take a few months off to decide the next steps. I'm too burnt out to even think about a new job at the moment. Working from home sounds like a great possibility. Maybe in a year I'll come back to tell you what happened to me!
Thank you! 😭
Thanks from an INFP who is in her mid-20’s but still don’t know what I want to do with my life.
Edit: I suddenly feel bad about the person watching who resides in Assisted Living.
Angel Cat ❤️
Im right there with you as another directionless INFP
Also, your edit is the most INFP thing 😝
Wendy Berrios Haha. Thank you. You think so? A lot of people who know how to type types me as INFP but free tests give me conflicting results: INFx. But I really relate with INFP description more, too. Hope you’re doing ok through this pandemic. Take care.
I can’t even begin to tell you how much this helped me. I’m a 17 year old INFJ and this exact thing has been causing me extreme anxiety. I do think I’ve been desperately searching for what I’m meant to do and who I am, and I’ve never heard that I can take small steps to build who I am instead. I also like how you contrasted real life with movies and stories. Thank you so much for this video!
I relate to you completely :)
Ivelearnedmyfirstinstinctsareusuallyright90pct
@@bread5414 everyrulehasanexeption
I usually absorb too much, think too much, I even don't know who I am
I'm 46 and struggling with this, so thank you for the encouragement. It can be difficult to know what you want to do when it feels like you have to pull something out of the air and hope that it fits. I like the idea of building yourself though, I'll stick with that concept and see how it goes! I have some time before I'm 90 anyway
I’m 30, in stable job, still don’t know what I am.
bruh I was just thinking about this a few hours ago and I’m so lost man, there’s no purpose in my life, feels like I’m just there breathing instead of living...
i think we need to find things that make us happy and satisfied, however small, and pursue them. there is meaning in the smallest things, you don't have to be out there becoming president or saving people's lives
I too feel meaningless and purposeless. Feels like medicine is my calling but I can't handle the toxicity and stress involved.
The title of this video is in my mind every day. Wow, there are so many things here that I found related to, like the fact that I don't trust myself, I'm wasting time and I'm comparing myself to other people. And, yeah, it feels awful. I hope we all can learn something from this video. It's up to us! 🙂
I feel you
Letforeverbechembrosrawbeautyoflife
28 year old INFJ Virgo here.
I often think this. I personally am a deep thinker and want something meaningful.
Yeah, I can relate ! Infj Leo here
31 Pisces ... it’s tough to know one thing to do.. I love so many things 😂
Thinking...a dangerous pastime.
INFJ Virgo as well. Definitely something I think about on the daily! I find some comfort knowing I'm not the only one 👍
I'm 21 years old college student and still wondering so much about how my future gonna be. Sometimes, i feel empty and useless because i've never accomplish anything big in my life or maybe i'm too afraid to do it.
JEEZ SAME TOO REALLL
same situation buddy
what's your major? :)
@@meemee6197 mechatronics eng. you? :)
@@meemee6197 i study business administration
This channel has helped me immensely in knowing myself better. I used to think a lot since forever. And the kind of household I was born in made it my biggest weakness. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't do anything about it. Added to that, the people around me, who used to tell me... Just stop thinking, no? I didn't know how to do it, whereas that seemed like the only way to deal with my dysfunctional surroundings. It got worse, when I saw my sister, who is not intuitive at all. She has it so much easier. It felt like there was something essentially wrong with me.
Eventually I learnt to live with it, but I was still always hoping this *overthinking* tendency of mine would go away, because it made things so much harder. Apart from my mind and mental issues, I probably have no other issue in my life right now. So I feel great when you acknowledge this. When you say that for intutives there is an extra struggle because they need to know the meaning of what they are doing. I am glad that someone acknowledges that I have it harder just because of who I am wired to be in my brain.
I loved your comment! That is exactly how I feel. But I have a brother, not sister, not intuitive too :D
I believe in you. I believe in myself. Don't ever think something is wrong with you :)))
@@let_it_sin_kin Thank you Julia! This feels so wholesome :)
Yeah... I feel you ^_^
My problem is I want to do so much to the point I honestly don’t know what I want to do because of it. Then I question everything.
Same. Did you find any solution to this
I feel like I can be around someone else and let them know exactly what they would be good at. It took me a long time, but in my 40’s I found where I’m supposed to be now. But I understand that it can change and then I’ll be wherever I’m supposed to be then.
what job are you working ? sry English is my 3rd language)
My career was a complete disorganized confusion but I’m retired now and it all turned out great.
I think that a lot of young people think that adults have it all figured out and we really do not. Some people are better at planning and creating structure in their lives but we definitely do not have it entirely figured out. I’ve learned that life is a balance of planning and going with the flow.
I’m 48 soon and I have discovered that life is all about discovering who you are. It is a wonderful journey. Great wisdom Frank 🌸💜
What I'm doing with my life? Letting it hit me in the face...
I'm a 50 year old INFJ & I still have NO IDEA what I'm doing with my life. Nada.
I think this issue is even more prevalent in modern day society then it was say 120 years ago when there were fewer choices for careers. Now we have hundreds of different jobs or ways of living that it overwhelms so many of us that we don’t even want to make a move because of the nagging question “what if it’s not the right thing”.
Certainly. It is the "paradox of choice."
Oh my gosh, this is me 100% I'm constantly questioning every decision I make and wondering if I'm on the right path. I made a whole video on my existential crisis during the quarantine because I've had so much time to dwell on the meaning of life.
The problem is, I have a difficult time deciding what I want.
Choice as lovely as it is - is very much a blessing and a curse. I can’t even decide what cereal I want for breakfast let alone what I want to do for the rest of my life.
I am an overthinker by nature, and fall into the crazy overthinking process of “is this the right choice” “what does right even mean”
Do I want money or fulfillment?
I think that’s what’s nice about this quarantine, it sort of feels like the universe has paused itself for us. It’s made me realize how little societal expectations really mean and how important it is to just focus on what truly makes you happy.
You find meaning when you find happiness and you find happiness when you find meaning.
At the end of the day, I am content with just existing, living life desperately trying to find enlightenment. But maybe at the end of the day, the universe has designed us to forever keep searching and never find the answer. As Carl Sagan said, we are just a dot living on a slightly bigger pale blue dot.
@@KieroSi I’m a future nurse infj here
Young person, you've got this! Enjoy the ride 🎢💪
I was literally thinking 'What am I doing with my life' all the day today. And then suddenly the notification popped up xD I have never been so shocked before.
I love your chair. There is something very comforting about it that makes you seem like Mr. Rogers 💜
I'm in my 30's and pretty satisfied with my life. I landed a dream job a few months ago that I had thought I had to give up. But as you live, you should be wondering where you want to go in your life next no matter where you are, or who you want to be no matter what you've achieved.
what job are u doing ? I'm curious bc I need to choose a career part, I'm a law major, since 1 semester but I dont think it is the right career for me :/ (I'm 18)
@@dontlookatme.5600 I'm in a research and consulting field, which I sorta gave up when I left my PhD program. I didn't spend years in grad school like some people do, but didn't want to end up jobless or financially struggling after PhD (looking at how little adjunct professors make in social sciences + the pressure of having to get work published consistently, I didn't think I wanted to do that). So, I chose to transition to 'industry' that appreciated my transferable skills. It still took me 2 years of working in a field that I didn't find useful but necessary to build my resume.
I cannot give you practical advice because your situation is very different, but I'm all for exploring different fields. How else would you know what you enjoy (or don't enjoy) and are good at? :) At the same time, I wish I hadn't taken such a long detour in my career.
You are still 18 - you have a lot of time to figure out your career and you can always change it later in your life too. :)
Human beings are 4 part creatures. We are comprised of the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual elements. Most give the majority of their attention to the first 3 parts, giving short-shrift to the 4th. If you are spiritual - and I think many INFJ's are to some extent 'searchers' than it's simple - we are here to serve God and help our fellow human beings. This site is a great help to many. Some people like to volunteer, some go into professions that are helping professions, medical, mental health, etc. If at the end of the day we can say that we have helped another human being then we have served our purpose. Just me putting my thoughts out there for whatever we are worth. Sometimes we just burden ourselves...
You know it's gonna be a good video when our boi FJ be sittin in his grandma chair 👵
22 y.o and struggling with the final year of university. It's been a year since I submitted my research proposal and there's no progress cause I don't know the "meaning" of doing this, I don't know what I would do after graduation, and here I am, stuck in my "labyrinth". Like what you said, Frank, it's all about "meaning". When I watch your video, I feel like someone slapped my face, I know I couldn't procrastinate it anymore, I have to finish my lecture this year and it doesn't matter if I don't know what I'll do after graduation, but my mind keep growing into labyrinth and I feel lost, again. Sometimes I feel like I can beat the stigma and finish everything but in a split second I turn into the "negative" me.
Thank you for your advice, Frank. God bless you :)
I've been very blessed, I've had careers I've wanted, and I've had them. But the best thing is to be able to drop them and move into another phase when the spark isn't there anymore. It's creativity that serves you not you serving the machine. No fear, just live.
Whenever I meditate and try too find an answer to what I should do with my life, what to do next etc. all I get is this: " keep exploring".
I understand it, because only once we keep trying out different things we can built a momentum that is necessary to propell us into doing great things. Once we do that long enough we find meaning, we find belonging.
Seek God and he'll show you your purpose ☝️. Jeremiah 1:5
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”
God talked to Jeremiah so can he with you♥️
I needed this at 3:30 am feeling wide awake and wondering why am I wasting my life. I have hobbies I love, topics I'm interested in, and I'm not doing those things. Instead I'm taking care of a 93 yr old relative who accuses me of breaking his phone and keeping ppl from calling him; and despite my best efforts, he holds me in contempt. This isn't what I envisioned my life to be. I wish the 93 yr old was in an assisted living facility. And I wish I was sheltering at home with just my 2 dogs.
Relatives certainly obligate us Betty. You are doing a real kindness being there for your family member and I applaud your efforts. I can relate since most of my life, I've been relied upon by family to be there for them as help and support, physically and financially. I'm 41 now and haven't lived the life I envisioned certainly. One thing I have realized is that it is important for you to take care of yourself first before you can really take care of others. If you are exhausted, unhappy and unhealthy, how can you truly help another? Give yourself a break and show yourself the patience you bestow to your family member. God Bless you and I hope things get better for you soon.
@@BigTexan7 Thanks for your kind words, BigTexan7. Caregivers aren't always treated well by family, so it's nice to be acknowledged. And your advise is wise. Thank you!
"We don't like juggling things at once. The INFPs are a little better at that."
Me an INFP: *studies* *for* *an* *exam,* *has* *a* *mess* *of* *a* *bed,* *and* *has* *a* *packet* *of* *homework* *to* *turn* *in*
Me: ...It's all fine 😂😭😭😭👍
@@lesliemartinez7657 I thought you were an INTJ
@@BiRainbow29 I'm cloned so I don't what you talking about
@@lesliemartinez7657 Bruh
"you'll be able to trust yourself a little bit more"
This is literally what it's ALL about. Thank you for putting all of this into words.
Infjloveestatesalesthefeelinginastrangershouseisthebestfeelingvibesineverycornerespecialythebasement
Helping other people is a good place to start. You feel as if you are making a contribution and meet new people including other helpers. Working as a team can be very rewarding. Frank Your videos are great 🥰
I hear you James, im 22 and at this point in my life right now. I really dont know what I should do after this time and I really dont have hobbies. Im trying to find something that I love doing as a hobby or a job, but Its not easy.
Frank: "It's okay not to know what you're supposed to do."
Me: *Indecisive* *about* *life*
My mom: YOU BETTER GET A CAREER AT 18
But seriously, great video! ✌🌈
After 40+ years...I am only 'happy' when I'll comfortable with acceptance. Accepting the way I am and understanding how that affects my life. Doesn't mean it's easy or that it happens often...but, you have to keep working at it (and it's HARD people!).
Weallwanttobeclosertothegoodstuff
This is HUGE in concept! I (an INFJ) thought I had this grand vision of becoming this super famous game developer, and that following that route of life would be perfect and objective for me and I would never EVER be upset or sad in my entire lifetime. I was so motivated by this inner meaning that it felt as though everything in the world made sense to me and that I had ambition and positivity all figured out in the grand scheme of things. As such, I think I've felt that "everything makes sense" feeling in full, only to realize that it wasn't logically sound within the infinite complexity of every day life (turns out video game programming isn't the most enjoyable thing in the world for me). Kind of glad it's not a single path like that anymore though. In hindsight, the life learning I've experienced along the way feels way more valuable than that grand ambition was. :)
Sign that you’re an INFJ : everytime Frank uploads a new video you always click and watch it (if you have time, if you don’t, you still click on it anyway to get him views) just bcs you’re loyal to him as a viewer and subscriber.
I think even when I've made a major decision - like choosing the university major I wanted to do, I still find myself wondering: "am I making the right choice, what if I regret it again like my previous choices, who am I, what am I suppose to do?"
This video kinda helped me consolidate that.
I just want to reinforce what Frank is saying. I’m a 54-year old female INTJ and that’s exactly how I figured out my purpose/passion in life. I just kept taking the next logical step forward in the direction that seemed most interesting (or least horrible if nothing sounds interesting to you). Then you take another step forward from that newer position after you’ve tried it out for awhile. Essentially, you really are just following your heart along a path of what feels a little better and a little better. Ask your heart what looks good from your current situation and then go for that. Over time you’ll be getting closer and closer to the purpose that you will know is yours. You’ll be doing what you love.
This is why they say you must enjoy the journey in life and not the destination, because otherwise if you’re not following the path you enjoy, you’re not going to end up in the place you want to be. Just try to do what you enjoy as much as possible and keep moving forward. You’ll get there. It’s pretty awesome! 😊
I always enjoy your comedy, but I must say that something about your just being honest and open like this is really great. And you absolutely hit the nail on the head, at least for this INFP. I feel empowered. Thanks!
I’m 63 and I am just now learning who I am...looking back over my life I can see everything I’ve done has led me to this knowledge......btw, I miss you calling us ‘frisky ponies’.....
That’s so funny - inciting incident... “Looking for adventures” is something my mom accused me of a lot growing up lol. Russian parents say it sarcastically referring to getting yourself in trouble.
I like wondering places alone and have been known on occasion to confidently state my point of view to a hole class as a kid (it never occurred to me at that point that freely debating religion as an 11 year old with 30 sort-of like-minded kids and one very unlike-minded adult was weird) ...she was obviously worried about me.
I still sometimes look for adventures... haha
Wow, I didn't realise that others feel this way. Thanks for this. ❤️
To anyone reading this: "Don't let the fear of unhappiness cripple your pursuit of finding what it is you believe." You'll get there one way or another!
Wow Frank you explained all this so, so well. I am also A Young Person (almost 20) but I have struggled with this massively. I've personally been very lucky to have (had) a few people in my life who taught me some of these very lessons already, but that's not the case for everyone, especially at a young age. This video was a fantastic reminder to myself and I'm sure it helped a whole bunch of people out here!
One of your videos showed up in my recommendations about a month ago and I've been watching quite a few of your videos since then, as I really enjoy them and learn a great deal from them! Now, I've heard you mention your interest in spirituality a few times and wanted to share something with you. Though I'm obviously not sure how big of a role this plays in your life as of right now, I'm personally very interested in anthroposophy and I thought maybe you'd like to look into it as well. So give that or Rudolf Steiner a search if you like. Idk, maybe this is just me feeling like I should give you something in return for your videos haha. If you even get to see this comment, thanks for reading it at all and thanks for your videos in general!!
Creating oneself, one piece at a time, and looking back in old age recognizing the thread that ran through it.
Im 36, and still feel this way. Lol
Venus Eve Rosser Almost 35. I know less than 10 years ago. Scary!
Hi, I really appreciate that you always have clear subtitles within your videos. It makes watching even more pleasant.
What am I doing with my life, not totally sure, so I decided to feed stray cats 🐱
Nicole Malkin lol I love it! Great decision!
I love this. Took me years to realise there is no answer. Nothing I must do it be. No grand design. Just a succession of decisions leading to other decisions. Just a slow self-creation. Just making things up as I go. And that's okay. I also love your extended metaphors, I'm a sucker for them. I would love to say I'm a pro at them but bless my students mostly they blank out when it happens lol. Anyway, this was great. I almost wish I had heard this advice as a teenager but then my journey and opportunities might not have moulded me the same way so... Thank you!
I'm 18 and an INFJ. I've been struggling with that particular question for 3 years due to the high social standard in my country regarding education and occupation. Many sleepless nights and restless anxieties because i have to, whether i want it or not, figured everything out now.
But I have found a mantra:
you can't control everything.
Maybe it's a little bit different than the video, but for the past six months I've been using this and now my anxiety level is tolerable and i got more good night sleeps.
Same Man. 200%. Now with all this lockdown drama going on , I am in a situation where I have to quit doing the one thing I am good at and find something else to do for survival. I really don't know what I am doing and why I am even here . I am an INFJ-T.
I'm 32 and feel like I'm having a midlife crisis.. 😭
You’re such a good friend, Frank.
Thank you very much for this video. I've been thinking about this all my life and recently I've been getting very anxious about it. But you really helped me. I rarely feel as if the person in the video is talking specifically to me, but this time I even started to cry( in a good way). So thank you very much from INFJ❤️
What you said about trusting yourself is so true... I'm an INFJ and I started (finally!) to write my novel a week ago and I always have the self doubt that aaa this is not going well, the structure is messed up, etc. etc. but the more I write, the more I'm learning to trust myself - that I will be able to "fix" it when it comes to editing, that I have the power to make something great, even if the first draft is a tangled mess. I've found it's actually the hardest but most important part of the process 😊
Thanks Frank! After initially having a lot of anxiety about not 'doing isolation right', as though there was one proper way to do it meaningfully that would lead to all the right outcomes in my life when the lockdown lifts (infj problems), I have gravitated towards smaller goals that are also recapturing a sense of playfulness and enjoyment for its own sake e.g. practising new songs, reading new books. Even showing up consistently in these small ways is helping build a sense of self trust. Your choice of video subject was validating :)
I feel like "I don't know who I am or what to do with my life" ALL MY LIFE! I'm 48. Nothing stuck. So...
"J" types are "people pleasers". To "help people do better". I breastfed my son for two solid years... I "payed it forward" by shipping totes of milk out to Utah for eight months to feed a mother of twins for eight months. I get pictures every year of. them as they grow. Another woman, I met and donated my milk for her baby... her doctor steered her wrong and had on production. I "educated" her on it all and she went on to have FIVE more babies PLUS now donates milk to moms in need! WOW! I have "disciples"!!
I now show clearance for Toys for Tots, Social Services, and a local hospital. Some situations are VERY rewarding for me! This all my "behind the scenes" way of "helping" people. Love it! Took a while to figure it out. Quite honestly.. INFJ-ers have to do lots more "hands on" repetition to "get it". Also.. they typically aren't college goers. Trust me. It will find you. It took me quite some time to figure things out. I have had some genius ideas and I'm hoping to be working on them soon. Baby steps people.. baby steps! Hobbies turn into jobs. Your "job" should NEVER be "work". It all will just "come to you". INFJs are said to be "wise". Work it, INFJ-ers. Hang tight. It'll come... subconsiously?? I know from a young age that I could do something great. I knew I was destined to.. but I had NO CLUE WHAT!! All in due time.. all in due time. We are natural procrastinators. Also very "point blank" ballsy truthful beings!
Michelle Wei how do I turn my hobby into my job, I love drawing, thinking of stories or plot ideas for cartoons, I don’t know what it is, if it’s my dysphoria or something else, but every time I do go to start one of my hobbies like drawing, I’ll start, I’ll feel motivated, and then five minutes later I’m just sitting there, bored out of my mind, wandering mindlessly in my thoughts, sitting in my chair, am I doing something wrong?
The most important question in this moment is: Are you searching? That's what really mathers, because if you are, soon you'll find.
Frank, you are encouraging many who may not yet have trusted their intuition to use it and learn that it isthe guiding wisdom it really is.
At 9 y/o wanted to be a ballet dancer like Margot Fonteyn. At 11 I wanted to be a singer. For most of the other ages I wanted to be a visual artist because I loved drawing and painting etc. Give me a brush and I’ll paint the house inside and out as I did helping my parents when we moved into an old stone house. Yep, at 24 went to design school, studied 4 years graphic design, got my degree, worked in studios 10 years and while working assorted interesting job, kept up painting as a visual artist. Am 69 and haven’t stopped! I am INFJ and love that I am the most amazing person I have ever met!
All this happened because I listened to my intuition, and acted on it quite naturally without any effort. I am female, and young looking for my age, despite some heavy, traumatic experiences and losses life threw at me. My enthusiasm for seeing the glass half full continues.
Truly, trusting yourself plays a vital role in our life as INFJ's. Baby steps are still steps (^o^), let's trust ourselves by doing something that make us trust ourselves. Thank you so much for this video Frank (^o^)
Being grateful for the little "great" things you've accomplish and continue moving forward, in the process of being the best version of yourself.
18? Questioning "who I am? what am I suppose to do?"
Me, 2020.
I am so delighted with your content. So genuine and so relatable. Absolutely love and appreciate it.
You mean to say that it's not a good idea to wait for my "inciting incident" to fall from the sky and hit me in the head?
Hello! I'm also 18 and am struggling with the same thing. Thank you so much for another great video! It helps a lot because of how these thoughts are exactly what swarm around my mind most of the time. It's odd how these thoughts and feelings only seemed silly until I came across the Myers Briggs. I thought these INFJ ways of thinking and feelings were just nonsensical traits that I felt no one could understand and that me contemplating about these things was simply an overreaction about the world around me, but it reassures me to know that I wasn't just being delusional. Your videos really helped me uncover a lot of things about myself and it still surprises me how your content is always accurate, especially with the internal struggles. Always looking forward to more of your videos!
I'm 18 and now after my boards it's the time for me to finally choose a path. I was so lost not knowing what to do with my life.This video truly decreased my anxiety levels and i feel a bit better now. Thanks
This is so right on. I was so frustrated in college because I thought I had to have it all figured out. But choosing a direction and just taking it step by step IS the right thing to do! And it DOES open other ideas and possibilities. And then when you get a bit older, you start to see how things have woven together and CONTINUE to weave together to become YOU. You're very wise, FJ.