So good. I saw a therapist for ptsd treatment, and her words were “if we’re successful in our treatment plan, I should never see you again as a client.” And I haven’t. She taught me tools that I still use today.
In related issues, PPI (proton pump inhibitors) should not be taken for more than 14 days, or they could be fatal. And yet doctors prescribe them to individual patients for a year or more. (This has to do with acid reflux) The true cure to acid reflux is a couple tablespoons of lemon juice in the morning every day.
My wife is a therapist and her whole mentality is that therapy should be temporary for most people. The idea is exactly as Brett mentioned that therapy should teach you skills that you can apply to help your self going forward.
From the patient perspective I agree. I realized that I was having to prepare for therapy, having to dig up old traumatic memories and actively trying to see how they were still effecting me. I told my therapist that I thought actively being in therapy was doing more harm than good and that I would only meet with her monthly moving forward to be held accountable for moving on with my life instead of living in my old self inflicted misery
As someone who suffers bipolar disorder amongst other things. I agree, that first and foremost therapy is for learning how to cope. Learning skills to handle things on your own. However, as someone with a lot of past trauma and mental health issues. I like having that person there when I need it. So I always keep my therapist relationship open. Even if it's only a catch up every few months or more if it's needed. For me, it's what I need. Not because I can't cope. Because I'm actually very self aware. I know the tools and what to watch for. Call it a crutch, but I LIKE having that person there if I need it because I don't talk to anyone else about any of the internal issues I have.
That's exactly right. Both therapy and medications aren't supposed to be forever. The system is broken, though. I do not understand why a psychiatrist and psychologist work separated and why a psychiatrist is pushed on you before therapy, medication on its own doesn't work, nor can a psychiatrist make an accurate diagnosis for a 1h visit, which includes mostly a standard questionnaire that the psychiatrist follows. What's even crazier to me is that a neurologist isn't included when a therapist concludes the patient has a major diagnosis like schizophrenia, or a bipolar disorder. These disorders show up on brain scans. An mri shows how your brain works and you can actually see the mental disorder. But I guess it's all about making money and not about helping people.
As I'm going into college, psychology major, I'm realizing how 'woke' the therapy community has become. We should never push beliefs onto others, our job is to be there and help others not push anything onto them. It's sad how people now view therapy and some of us don't wanna put people through something they don't want. It's supposed to be a comfort thing yk, now it's not.
I have to give credit to Brett Cooper for openly talking about her life situations. So many young adults can learn from her maturity and resilience. Thank you !
I went to a (Christian) counselor at my college because I was dealing with some anxiety, and she told me in our first session that her goal is to make her job obsolete. A year and a half later, as I realized I didn't have much to talk to her about each week, I decided to be done. She helped me work through some things, recognize patterns of thinking, and make some good changes. She did her job, and I was better for it. I think her approach of trying to make herself unnecessary was incredibly helpful for me getting better. I don't know if it was because she was a Christian, or a counselor at a school (hence never had a client for more than four-ish years at a time), but I wish more therapists thought like her. Having that perspective helped me to realize that therapy is about progress, not a struggle session each week.
My therapist just told me last week that we should wrap things up, glad to hear others having similar experiences, definitely means we're all going to make it
As a therapist, I make it known that I'm intentionally making myself obsolete. My job is to help them become more self dependent and reach their goals as soon as possible. This is why I like to makes it collaborative, comfortable and critical. Also, I love Matt Walsh and even reference him in session. Lol
@@roejogan2693 He may be a political commentator by profession, but not everything he says is political. A lot of it is the opposition reading into what he says and *making* it political.
I’ve been going to therapy for a few months now, and my therapist leans more towards the left while I am a conservative growing up in a right-leaning household, yet he has NEVER said anything remotely negative about any of my beliefs or values. Props to you, Dr. Nevin
That's, uh..... the absolute bare minimum?! It's supposed to be like that. It's... the job you're paying them for.... and paying a LOT for. The fact you're genuinely amazed they can stay still and just listen barely saying anything for 1 hour for the mere price of 200 dollars tells anything it needs to be said about the industry.
Good therapists understand their patients and make sure they become self aware of their condition, and help you until you are strong enough to help yourself. 💜
My neighbor/church friend was a psychologist (passed away about a year ago from cancer, he was in his early 60s). He disagreed with most of the therapy community. He specialized in veterans with PTSD and he would only have 1-2 sessions with each one. His focus was to help them think through the situation that gave them PTSD and figure out things that they could've done in the moment to overcome/manage the situation. It made them walk away feeling like they weren't helpless or powerless anymore. He helped a lot of people and we miss him.
I feel like there are SOME disorders that do require long term therapy (PTSD, OCD, Borderline, etc etc.). But things like anxiety and depression, I agree that there can be an end goal and a plan.
My brother and I saw multiple psychologists for PTSD for around 6 years. Gave up cause it didn't do a damn thing. I should've also added they tried continuously to put us on drugs from day 1.
@@Jellybelly008 I shopped around for a solid therapist for a while before I found one who wasn’t trying to shove meds down my throat. I’m sorry that you weren’t able to find a reliable therapist.
@@iamme25yago I agree. There’s some solid research out there for DBT and CBT. Those do require the patient to put in the effort to gain from them. Those focus more on emotional regulation more than talk therapy.
@@not_yo_cheezI did ERP for OCD for maybe a year, helped a lot, but the disorder eventually got better. Switched therapists, but not much improvement happened.
In my early 20s I was struggling with depression and self harm. I got lucky and found a therapist who is older man (near-ish retirement) and more old school. Going to therapy felt like sitting down and getting advice from my grandpa, and it helped a lot. I still do "maintenance" sessions about 2x per year, but I felt like he's taught me how to analyze the problem and use my skills to figure out my own solution.
As someone who went to therapy from 13 to 18 years old I can attest therapy saved me in a major way. I went from an angry and violent bully to discovering my family suffers from bipolar disorder. From this discovery, I realized being bipolar is not a curse unless it’s made so. Fortunately, with the right therapist, psychiatrist, and loving immediate family I have overcome this. Although medicated, I’m a success story instead of a statistic. Thank you for sharing Brett, and I hope this offers hope to the next man or woman looking to better themselves through whatever illness or challenges they may have.
You should check out Matt Walsh's video series on the recent studies that have come out about Bipolar Disorders/Chemical Imbalances and the medications being prescribed for them. God Bless you! 🙏❤
I'm type 2. Therapy has been helpful for me through the years for traumas, etc. I've learned a lot of skills over the years. But I still struggle with trusting people. I'm not honest with anyone in my life about how I feel about things on the daily. So I keep my therapist so I have that person to talk to without burdening others.
Earlier this year a lot was happening in my life. I went to the school counslor and it was the best thing ive ever done for myself. After about 2 years of sadness and hopelessness constantly, everything that could have gone wrong went wrong. I decided to go to my school counselor and not tell mt family because they were all greiving with multiple things as well. I eventually told them after everything jad settled. I know school counslers arent exactly therapy but I went in the room the lowest ive ever been and came out 2 months later the happiest ive ever been. She helped me talk through my family issue and even anger and anxiety. Im a completly different person thanks to that. I totally agree, i dont need to be in counseling forever, but i got all of the tools i needed to function regularly again.
This isn't me knocking down therapy just saying that sometimes all we need is someone to hear us let us know we're not alone and I'm glad you found that thru therapy. Wish you well :)
After going to therapy for two sessions, she basically told me I could come back if I felt it was needed, but she felt I already had the skills and was ready to move on. Her advice still sticks with me. It worked!
Therapy DOES help. Me at least. I've been super blessed with my therapists. No drugs shoved down my throat. And I've already taught myself healthy coping skills and they just needed to be refined which they helped me with. The thing is, you gotta find the right one. There's no "one size fits all". I've done BETTER while with mine. As soon as I stopped, I eventually go back into bad habits. Like negative self talk and ruminating. I just need someone I can check in with really. Even if it's once every 3 months. All mine pushed me. I've only changed therapists often because they leave and I'm "issued" a new one through the VA.
With me, I was worried about a false dawn. When you see a therapist each week for 10ish weeks, you might feel energized, riding the wave of your initial motivation. But I don't know if it's long enough to get a read on whether strategies will stick when your life gets busy and your routine starts to degrade.
I am studying counseling in college and this is one of the big things my professor talked about with use. There needs to be a timeline, and you need to get right to work. It’s going to be hard and uncomfortable, but that is what make it worth going. You are doing the hard thing and getting help. Edit: I go to a conservative Christian College, so my professors are more aligned with this way of thinking.
Ah, thank you for doing what you’re doing. I hate when people act like we just should write off entire fields instead of actually going into those “woke corners” in order to be able to serve others. I agree about having a timeline and do not trust any professional who says “Therapy can (or even should) be lifelong!” It should not be any therapist’s goal to create a lifelong patient. It sounds like theft to take somebody’s money without any sort of plan or timeline in mind. Obviously a lot of the progress is up to the patient, but if something isn’t working out, the therapist should bring this up as a problem and not just continue thinking seeing somebody enough times will fix their problems.
"Therapy doesn't work unless you do." A quote from my sister who has been in therapy for six years. You actually have to do the things your therapist tells you for it to work. And I'm guilty of not doing the thing my therapist tells me. It takes time to build up a habit.
"You actually have to do the things your therapist tells you for it to work. " They don't tell you to do anything, that's the whole point of this video. It's against their code, they mostly listen to your sulking and once in a while ask "and how does that make you feel?". At most they'll occasionally give some vague advice, but never specific acts. Stuff like "try being more positive" and such. That is why people go to therapy for 10 years and nothing changes. Except their bank account.
@@olisk-jy9rz A good CBT therapist will challenge poorly considered thoughts and ideas driving one toward their symptoms. A bad therapist just sits there and agrees with the patient and tries to make them feel validated. There are a lot of bad therapists.
After breaking my arm when I was eight, I developed a MAJOR fear of death, or getting hurt that it consumed my life. My parents found me a good therapist. I went once a week for about half a year, and when I felt like I wasn’t struggling anymore, I stopped going. I believe this is how everyone should treat therapy.
This was honestly extremely inspirational. It's horrible what you've been through, but it's incredible how you managed to get through it! You're an inspiration!
I suffered from ptsd and did not treat it, and paired with severe stress at work and also bullying from coworkers, i had a breakdown and my doctor figured out, I'm in a major depressive episode. I was 19 at the point. So basically burnout and ptsd. I had therapy for a year. 10 sessions in 12 month and it helped me so much. I learned not to ignore the early signs of distress in order to "function". I learned confronting difficult conversations at the workplace and with family members, friends and partner. And if my words are not taken seriously and the situation is not changing, I might better leave. It took me a while to figure out, which are people that treat me well and which don't. Talking is helpful for realizing things, but the actions to improve your live are done outside of therapy.
This video came at the perfect time! A couple days ago I told my therapist that I wanted to quit because I felt like we had hit a wall when it came to how much my appointments could help me. I started therapy years ago in the wake of a traumatic event that forever altered my life path, but now I feel ready to take on the world without it.
Definitely makes me feel better about quitting with my own therapist. I did the same thing as you and basically told her that I ran out of things to talk about with her. I still had my struggles but I could kind of tell she didn't have the capacity to help me further (not her fault, probably just depends on her training).
My entire life I had very serious anxiety disorder + personality disorder with anti social aspects. At one point led me to me barely leaving the house. I tried therapy twice but I never liked the way the appointments were going and I was about to give up. Until I gave another shot and found an amazing therapist... I've been in therapy for 6 or 7 years. And I went from being completly shut on my house to an almost fully functional adult. I still have some goals I want to achieve but I'm on the final stretch. I went from weekly appointments to 15 days and sometimes even longer periods between appointments. Therapy just gives you the tools for you to handle with the problems you have. But at the end of the day the patient needs to put on the work! It's not a cure by any means. Maybe some people go to therapy just to have someone to talk about rough subjects. But therapy does help people that want to fix their life. And it takes time! It's not a turn the switch on and off
This is a great video. I went to therapy for about three years after my twin sister passed away in a car accident when we were nineteen. Now as a twenty-three-year-old I can see that it helped me a lot and I strongly recommend it for people who think it is a good fit for them.
This was very eye opening to me! I’ve been going to therapy for 3 years and honestly, as much as I love my therapist, I don’t know that she’s pushing me the way she probably should and my “issues” are fairly normal life things. I don’t think she’s being nefarious by “keeping” me in therapy, but again, I’m not working through massive trauma, I’m just bringing every day life stress to chat about. Which I don’t need a therapist for 😅 This is the second thing I’ve seen this week about how therapy shouldn’t be forever, so God clearly is trying to get something through my thick skull 🙈😂
Well everyday stress can also be overbearing from time to time. Your therapist is supposed to be teaching you how to work through it so that eventually you won’t need them. Personally I only kept going till I found it pointless. Which was only 1 or 2 sessions in. I felt that 1, I have at least 1 person that I can go to and don’t need to pay for their time and 2, I already do deep internal analyzing. Meditation, shadow work and things like that helped me more than a traditional therapist. Those things made me face my internal demons. That is difficult doing solo so having a great support system and at least 1 person (which could be a therapist) you can go to is a necessity.
"I’m just bringing every day life stress to chat about. Which I don’t need a therapist for." Yep, that's what friends are for. If you don't have any, perhaps finding some would be a goal the therapist could assist you with if needed.
I mean it depends. If you’re bringing up “everyday stuff” to avoid something, get to the thing you’re avoiding. If it’s the therapy fit, find another one who pushes you. Otherwise, yeah, you’re not stuck in therapy. If you need it again, you can always go back. Nothing wrong with therapy itself; I think it’s more about being cautious with how much stock you out into it and making sure you’re still meeting goals.
@@MelanieBarrozo-u7s on no, I’m not avoiding anything - the reason I went to therapy had long since been resolved and in a very positive manner so it really is just me chatting to my therapist! I really do love her, buuuttt that’s not a reason to keep someone on her waitlist from seeing her, you know?
I think it's important to acknowledge the different types of therapy. I found EMDR has been far more effective for me than talk therapy. Within 3 sessions, half of my childhood trauma had been resolved. Talk therapy isn't the only intervention.
What works for one person may not work for somebody else. Don't be afraid to do something different. If, after honest work, what you're doing is not working. Don't give up so fast and flip-flop between techniques and therapists, etc. either.
Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. It essentially allows you to process trauma in a sort of REM (rapid eye movement) state. Worth looking into to see if it is right for you. I tried it and was not a fan…but from everyone else I know who has done it I hear great reviews
As a 55yr old woman, I am SOOO proud of you Brett for speaking about your therapy experiences. I have had the same over the years, had a good one after my divorce and then a good one during my cancer treatment however NOW trying to find one to just figure out how to move on with my life as a single woman, it is very difficult. As a person with a Masters in education and counseling, I am surprised by the “style of counseling” that is offered today. I do not think that I know everything but some of the counselors that I have met with over the years haven’t done anything for me except be “my friend” while I talk about my issues. No answers, no plan to help me, no REAL resolution to my questions. Most of them have said to me the same things I have been already thinking. I agree that interviewing the counselor is a MUST!! Thank you Brett for being so open and honest. You are doing great! 💜
I'm autistic and have been going to therapy for close to a decade. I've honestly lost track of how many therapists I've worked with, but all of them have told me to just ignore whatever causes me stress.
@@frankzappa9148 I understand and ur right stress is normal but with autism the stress becomes overwhelming more then for the normal person also they should teach you how to cope regardless with mental illness or and any conditions and esspucally if ur a child teen or early adult
@@Pboogers_fan_page autism isn’t mental illness autism is a developmental condition. In fact, by farrrrrrrrrrrr the happiest people I’ve ever encountered were the autistic people that a local church looked after. So, you’re lying.
I went to therapy for a few years. When the sessions turned into chit chat and we didn’t really work on the uncomfortable stuff or work through anything anymore, I stopped going. Life is still just as hard but I have the knowledge that my therapist gave me to help me.
I experienced loss at a young age. My mom thought me and my brother should’ve seen a therapist. Never did, all I did was some soul searching, a lot of thinking, a little bit of ‘suck it up buttercup”. Overall it worked. A therapist didn’t bring me to where I am. You can’t run from pain, pain is a lesson, lessons will build your character and make you who you are. Face your traumas, face the hurt, and make it better. Brett you’re a gem, not many people are willing to be as genuine as you are to millions of people.
As someone who has been greatly considering getting therapy, I’m grateful this video came out during this time of consideration to help me make sure that when I get help I get actual help, not just a cozy chat session.
Happy to say that I’ve gotten a therapist and one of the first things she did was say that she was going to teach me the tools I need to deal with my issues and came up with a plan for how long we’re going to work together. After just barely meeting her she checks all of the criteria that was mentioned in this video. :)
I think therapy doesn’t necessarily have to just be going to a therapist. If you don’t have serious issues , things like meditation, journaling, going for walks, or hobbies/activities you love that let you take a break and rest your brain for a little are so helpful.
Absolutely. I study psychology w an emphasis in addictions counseling- I think we need to re-place heavy emphasis on lifestyle choices. I think a lot of people go to therapy to be told that nothing's their fault and to get instant validation. No one's holding themselves accountable and therapists just collect the check. That's why I opt to work w addicts- there's a very real problem to be resolved, and the people that waltz in and demand to be diagnosed w autism are too soft to get hooked on a substance. 😂
@@arsvivendi2636 yes, I think that people see therapy w therapists as an end all solution as well as a way to validate their own crappy behaviors. Everyone needs a break from everything to just sit and reflect. I see that a common problem is we keep ourselves so preoccupied at just about every waking minute that we don’t allow ourselves time to reflect.
So correct. I have some mild anxiety but definitely not in deep depression anymore. Some of my anxiety tendencies can creep in and out but I’m just more aware that I need to just feel my feelings, stay on top of my physical activity and eating healthy, touching grass and getting enough sleep. Most people if they ditched their meds probably wouldn’t need it. (Not saying there aren’t exceptions and therapy is bad, but there’s a reason it doesn’t work for most people most of the time)
My brother has schizophrenia too.. therapy was good for me for a time simply because I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. No one knew how to listen to what I was saying. Once I got the story out and everything was off my shoulders I was done. I just needed that much. It’s created to have a safe space to spill your guts get some tools and then be on your way.
My mom worked as a receptionist in a building where a therapist had his office. She asked him once why someone would be in therapy so long. Expecting some special bad situation story. He said, "Poor decision making." He then told of one person that for 7 years has been complaining about how her mother constantly manipulates and controls her. Her mother had been dead for 4 years. They make a bad choice. Rather then face it, they make more bad choices. And He will take the money as long as they will pay.
I been doing therapy for like 5 years now, going maybe once a month or so. It didnt seem to work and thats because it took me years to finally start using the tools and understand how to use them, i never went there thinking its a waste of time and problems kept coming up and now im feeling like ive taken most the tools i need to function normally and not be a depressed mess. There are people who i have to assume struggle hella hard, narcissists cant take therapy their ego wont accept the fact they need help so i think it makes sense some people stay in therapy for a long time.
See, prolly need to report that therapist. Confidentiality is a must in these industries, divulging such details, even tho they did not name their patients, is still not ethical, unless they are looking for outside perspective from other professionals from the same field.
My therapist in CA admitted that even if I didn't find another in TN, I'd be fine because I had the capacity to process my emotions myself based on our sessions. It's definitely dependent on the person wanting to improve or just complain about the same problems.
My therapy experience has been exactly what I needed. I found myself unmotivated & literally sickeningly anxious, second year of high school, which is why I started therapy in the first place. I can confidently say I’ve improved so much in my life because of it. My therapist is awesome & she’s been key to keeping me on the right track. She holds me accountable to things that I let slide, even though I’ve said I want to hold myself accountable to. It’s been a once a month journey of about 5 years, but tbh I feel that I may be nearing the end. Thanks to her I’ve come into adulthood much better than I may have without. I would even call myself confident & capable in most things, which I NEVER would have thought of myself a few years ago. Find the right therapist, & make sure they’re helping you improve your life.
I’ve been struggling so much this year and working with my therapist and now I feel happy again and better, my insurance failed recently for my therapist and I think this is the perfect time for this to happen. Because I’ve been in therapy for a year and I feel healed and ready to go into the world with my learned skills and knowledge.
I’m going into grad school for psychology. Everything you are saying is spot on. I was taught in my undergrad that a therapist should work themselves out of a job and not have clients be so dependent and learn to be independent using the tools that have been taught to them. It’s ok if the client comes back because something has happened in life such as them having to deal with grief that’s understandable, but it seems that some people are kind of using therapy as another label for them to use to make them a victim.
I have bipolar, depression and anxiety disorder and I went to therapy, and when it was no longer beneficial to me, and I felt strong enough to handle it on my own, so I left, no offense to my therapist, he was awesome. I got all the help and tools I needed and I can cope fairly well. It's okay to get help, it's not okay to stifle yourself and rely on someone else forever. Of course their are exceptions to every rule, but you must help them, help you get better.
“I never feel good about myself after therapy” is such a true sentiment! 😂❤️ If it’s actually working, then it’s acknowledging that we are broken humans who need help to deal with the naturally broken human condition. Thanks Brett!
I mean that’s what all people need though. On the flip side, I struggle with never feeling like I am enough or that I am terrible person because I make mistakes. For me, I need someone to show me how to navigate out of that darkness, so most often after my sessions I do feel better not because my feeling are validated. Rather it is because my therapist helps me find a way out and how to stop the spiral before it gets too far. Therapy is different for each person because each person is different. Feeling bad about myself after a session would be considered a failure because I already knew how broken and messed up I was. What I needed were the tools to improve and fix myself to rise out of that state. I even gotten to the point of that I am more open about my life not being perfect as this is stuff I would not have shared just a couple months ago.
I've never watched you before but will have to start. I think this is EXACTLY what's needed today--the TOOLS that you learn in therapy. Emotion regulation skills, problem solving skills, ways to analyze unhelpful thought/action patterns. I love that you're not 100% against it
I am 17 and have been in therapy since I was 12. So many of my therapists weren’t helping me but now I found one that I absolutely love. She might not always agree with my political or religious beliefs but she doesn’t argue with me about it. She genuinely cares about me and how I can thrive. I have OCD so that contributes more to how long I’ve been in therapy. I don’t rely on it. It’s just nice to have a fresh perspective once in a while.
My former therapist quite a bit told me I was wrong. One of my favorites claiming I was wrong what radical acceptance was. Thinking I was in denial about being depressed for liking to deconpress over the weekend. When I said perception is reality. She said it was not true but as you can tell her perception of what I was doing was her reality lol
I went through an 8-week Acceptance and Commitment Therapy program this year and it fixed me. But I also went into my therapy knowing I wanted to put in full effort to get better. I personally went through a traumatic experience where I was in a rock climbing accident while alone in the desert, and had to crawl my way to a place where someone could hear me and go get help. I was lucky to get rescued, but not so lucky that my right leg was paralyzed and I will now be disabled for life. Therapy helped me accept my new life and figure out what living a fulfilling life means to me now. I think a lot of others would be better off having well-structured, limited time programs, that give you homework every week.
You are absolutely right. You absolutely have to click with your therapist otherwise you won't get anywhere. It took me about 10 years of different therapists. Took me getting out of a small town and finding a psychiatrist and psychologist with her PHD for me to start getting back on the right path. After working with them for about 5 months and I'm doing much better than I ever have before it all started.
This video has been very insightful and helpful. I've recently been thinking about going to therapy. I've never been before, I'm 23 and this past year has definitely been the worst and hardest year of my life. A year ago on the 30th, my best friend in the whole world, my mom, unexpectedly passed away. She suffered a major stroke and it was a week long stay in the hospital for my family and I and very traumatic. For the past year I am aware that I have suppressed that whole experience. Anytime a memory from then pops into my head, I stop and tell myself I don't wanna think about it and move on. And I am aware that I am probably causing more harm to myself doing that than facing what I went through. I have no idea where to start when it comes to therapy and even worry about finding the right therapist. I'm a little scared to start this journey, but I also know I'm ready and I need it. It was very comforting hearing about your experience with therapy and your advice about therapy. I feel a little better now about going forward with this. Thank you, Brett 💕
I went to counseling when i was in a rough patch. Just taking to someone and being able to express my issues and get some feedback was a breath of fresh air.
I was in therapy for years for Anorexia, anxiety, depression, self harm, ptsd and it did nothing for me. One of the big issues with therapy IMO is diagnosis, which often makes a person feel less responsible for their behavior. Like someone with anxiety saying "I just have anxiety so I can't be calm" instead of pushing past their anxiety and working on better ways of coping. Your challenges should not be an excuse for your behavior. That only hurts you. When I finally took responsibility for my behavior instead of constantly searching through my past with therapists to find someone to pin the blame on, that's when I started to heal and really live. And for me, that meant leaving therapy and being super honest with myself and pushing back all the walls in my mind, pushing past my comfort zone ect. But it worked. Fast forward and I am 28, married with 4 kids and an amazing husband and am doing great. This was after multiple mental health professionals telling my family to give up on me, that I would die. Most of my friends from my treatment center are still in therapy and going back and forth with their eating disorders. Its honestly really sad to see. Have some faith in yourself, you can beat anything when you really put your mind to it and set yourself up for success!
It depends on who the therapist is I have to stay, because I’ve gone through therapy before and I’ve had both good and bad experiences before. You can tell which ones are only in it for the money and which ones are generally there to help you.
I went to therapy after a brutal breakup, as I knew I wasn’t coping. I had a very poor perspective of therapy to begin with but I knew I wasn’t doing okay on my own, so it came from a place of desperation. First session, The therapist said straight to my face I was suffering grief from the lost relationship and I need to treat it like a death of a close family member, and in one sentence, I felt a sense of relief as she was able to verbalise what I had struggled to comprehend. With that I had the end goal in mind 100% agree, a good therapist will give you the tools you need to solve your own issues, and is just there to guide you on the journey of self healing. Get in then get out.
Therapy truly helped me. I had serious rage issues when I was in high school. When I was younger, I kept everything bottled up and never talked about my issues or anything that bothered me. Eventually, I just became very rage filled. I definitely benefited from therapy the ways my therapist helped me cope with past trauma, healthy ways to express my displeasure, and overall how to shrug off things I can't control. My time in therapy led me to look deeper into stoicism.
You just needed the right friend and probably save you a boat load of money. Also, recognize and learn how to cope with your anger by accepting God into your life.
Well the give away was being a teenager in high school. I’ve had the same problems in high school. Good that it helped you, but most anger issues need a healthy outlet, like sports or some sort of club to join.
@@n.d.m.515Will you be that friend? I'm homeschooled and my therapist is on vacation for over 3 weeks and we're supposed to meet once a week and I need to get a *lot* if shit off my chest lol
@@lizzy1876 I would if I could, but I don't know how over the internet. I am also a lot older than you to the point that I remember Star Wars as brand new. My advice to you is when feeling a particular way, go to a safe open field or track and let out your feelings to yourself as if writing a letter to God as you walk around. Always end with a positive note, such as knowing you can always control your own actions.
@KlaustheViking Late on the reply. I was in wrestling at the time, and I agree with you that most anger issues just need a healthy outlit. The therapy was court ordered for me, so I didn't have much of a choice.
I had a mental breakdown back in 2019 and started having Person Centred Therapy that December. I switched counsellors the following March as I could get free counselling from the NHS, which lasted about a further 12 weeks. The following June I started with another counsellor on a fortnightly basis, as I was starting to feel better and didn't want to have counselling as a crutch. By the start of 2021 I switched to having sessions every 4 weeks, and by October I felt strong enough to call it quits. The process of phasing out my counselling sessions was definitely the best option for me to test the waters of living without therapy, while still having access if I needed it. So I wholeheartedly agree with you and Matt on this issue.
I went to therapy through a company when I was a kid and it was the worst experience ever. When I went back in college, it was so beneficial. I went for a year, slowly decreasing the frequency. The therapist my college provided we’re not paid per client, they were on a salary. They were less inclined to get you to stay and they wanted you to get on with your life. It is truly some of the best therapy I’ve ever had and I’m always so proud of how far I have come from it!
Well said Brett. I know it’s probably hard for most people to admit they need help, but if you want to get help you should get it. Nothing wrong with wanting to better yourself especially if you feel like there’s no way out.
Find friends who will listen to you and gives positive advice. Much better and more helpful than any stranger you are paying your savings to pretend to be your friend.
I went to therapy from ages 29-35. Trying to make sense of my 20’s and my mom dying of an overdose. I stopped at 35. everything I needed to know about myself, mental illness and what my traumas were came with age (I’m 39 now) I know my issues and I dont need anyone to hold my hand at this point. I know my Achilles heel and if I can’t help myself then no one else will. I quit vaping and lost 46 pounds after therapy. Gotta trust yourself and take the training wheels off. But I know it’s not for everyone and people are different.
I went to therapy for about 2 years after my bipolar diagnosis. It was life changing. After two years my therapist said I didn't need therapy anymore because I had come a long way compared to when I started. Therapy helped me stabilize and teach me to manage my energy.
Last year I had a nervous breakdown after my father got sick. I was so anxious the whole time so much so that it started to affect my body. Layers of my skin from my hands started to peel. The pain in my back and stomach was unbearable and I couldn't sleep, because of nightmares. I was tense all the time. I was mentally falling apart. My father has always been my hero. It was hard to see him so frail. I started to see a therapist. Not because I wanted to, but because my husband pushed me to do so and it helped a lot! She didn't tell me what i wanted to hear, but she helped me cope and gave my great advice on how to deal with stress.
I think often times a lot of people who don’t have anyone to actually vent to about problems tend to stay in therapy longer, which is really sad. I think the fact that me and my parents are so open and honest with each other about our issues and feelings is why I haven’t really given much thought to therapy over the years. Also, whatever I didn’t talk to them about I’d talk to friends about. However, at 22 there are some things I’m not comfortable talking with them about (and haven’t for a while). Those specific things are why I want to go to therapy, so I can fix them and move on.
10:00 is what my therapist told me at our recent session. I'm building myself up to overcome the timidness of not accepting upcoming challenges in the future.
Therapy has been SO helpful to me, I can talk about my thoughts without worrying about the response. It helped me with my trichotillomania, binge eating, social life and school a lot.
I'm someone who needs to be in therapy longer-term, but I don't plan to forever. I just have a lot of psychiatric issues that need constant care/treatment, but I have still made WAY more progress than previous therapists and I'm actually starting to be able to function normally It's worth noting also I agree that if the therapist doesn't work out, it doesn't work out! It's actually less common than I think people realize that the first therapist is the perfect fit- for most of the people I know the "first therapist" or even third isn't always the right one- sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't, but you eventually find the right one therapy isn't a crutch, the entire point is it's someone who gives you and teaches you the skills necessary to overcome mental illnesses you may have and/or to be able to function with them, and in some cases be able to completely recover from certain traumas. The only time therapy should be a long time in my opinion is if the person is so mentally hurt that they genuinely need that therapy- as long as they are making progress after each session and are actively getting better because the same rule "therapy is not forever" applies to them too
Success of therapy truly depends upon the therapist. There are some malicious ones out there who see their clients as a regular source of income and also unnecessarily prescribe medications to receive bonus kickbacks from the medical companies.
All true. I tried therapy twice and gave up until early this year when I found a really solid therapist. The thing is that I was upfront with what I wanted, and told her that if she couldn't get me on my own within a year that she wasn't right for me. She loved that mindset and supports my goal
therapy is based around the idea that speaking the honest truth can heal you and organize your mind/soul... if a therapist isn't condusive to honesty, run. you were looking for a therapist, you found a cult leader. (also true for religious leaders) also, because everyone's trying to make a buck, its in a healer's best interest to keep you sick so they can slow drip you medicine your whole life. this incentive also applies to therapists... the best thing my therapist ever did was ask "do you really feel like you still need to be here? you seem all right to me." it wasn't condescending or rejecting, he genuinely wanted to know. i don't think i've ever had a psychiatrist ask me that question.
This is from someone who actually went to therapy middle school 🏫 I feel like has really declined. Lots of therapists now push woke narratives. Sometimes would come out crying but that made me what to change even more ❤
I am a 15 year old with anxiety, and I am starting therapy next week. Thank you for making this video and pointing out the problems with thearpy. This will help me figure out if therapy/my therapist is really gonna work for me. Thank you!
My parents got divorced when I was 7 and I stopped going to church a year later and felt very depressed because I was an outsider at school, now that I’m 14, my life has been in ruin. I am finally getting a lot better thanks to a family friend who is a therapist, but I am thankful that they understood what was going on and was able to help me
@@Garrito06 that's fantastic to hear, I'm so happy for you. 🙏🏻 Funny enough, the longer I've been around and the more I have looked into the modern state of mental health industry I'm becoming more and more convinced that therapists are just a secular attempt at feeling the role of what church and the pastor should be doing. So it's kind of a funny irony that your therapist was your bishop.
@@Snow-Willow therapists only tell you some things that you should do while the church makes me feel good by going and listening to what they have to say and hearing people’s testimonies
I have my first therapy session tomorrow (as an adult) it's certainly not for everyone, but I think it's what I need. My doctor repeatedly keeps recommending it to me, anti depressants are like a plaster for your mental wounds, and the therapy is like surgery. I'm 23 now, and I should have gone years ago. I've been before when I was quite young and it made me feel a lot better. Being a British person I'm less concerned about getting "forever therapy" as it's not being paid for by me. I hope it goes well, and anyone out there considering going, I say just try it, it might just be what you need. Take care.
I’ve been wanting to try therapy for years because of problems and issues in my life that’s hard to find answers. Seeing this video gives a whole new perspective, thought, and research. Thank you, Brett for opening up about your experience and looking out for any of us that would have been stuck in a cycle.
Tbh I’m scared of therapy, I don’t like telling people my problems, I don’t want them telling me how to fix it cause it’s nothing I haven’t heard. And I just don’t know why I’m scared of it, it’s just scary
Follow Jesus Christ and He will be your therapist (an actually successful one). Anything you need self improvement in, will greatly improve with prayer. God bless you in Jesus' name, who is the name above all names & the only way to Heaven❤
I was in therapy for three years, and it helped me a lot, but it got to the point that I couldn’t make decisions without waiting for my therapists opinion. She was very professional but also pushy with her opinions. I knew that I had to stop when I realised that I didn’t feel comfortable telling her about my spiritual awakening, nor did I have the energy to argue with her when I did something I knew she would disapprove of. I felt there was transference and my friends didn’t like the sound of her challenging me.
Therapy for a REASON is so useful. I started going for the first time after my dad died tragically and suddenly…therapy saved my life. Now we’re meeting once a month and working on my confidence socially after shutting down during these grieving years. I want to keep her in my life because she sees things that I can’t and encourages me in areas that others can’t. But I can’t imagine how self centered I’d become if I were in a healthy place and meeting once a week like SO many people do!!
For many things that people go to therapy for, taking care of an abused animal can do wonders. It forces them to think about someone/something for a change. Amazing the good it does one to do for others.
You are a tough cookie and you are so brave. As a mentally troubled person myself I salute you ! It helped me to take on the world again after 8 years. So I can actually recommend therapy wholeheartedly !
@@-Zpercowhen you realize life isn’t always easy, and make the decision in your mind to just “suck it up” a little…..you realize depression is a made up bullshit word meant to keep you down. Face the day clenching your sword and your shield and fight
This was a great video. I've been going to therapy for the better part of nearly 3 years now and I gotta say, some sessions are tough, some are the assuring/affirming ones that you mentioned in this video. All in all though, my takeaway from my experience in therapy is that it is for the most part helpful but the line you ended this video on about taking what the therapist advises or the tools they give you, that's been hard for me at times. I know there are some topics and issues we've yet to truly delve in to but knowing that when I leave and try to apply things to my daily life, I do feel as though I have made progress. Therapy isn't easy and everyone has their own ways of handling tough situations and how to best help themselves get through them. I advocate therapy but I do understand the message you spoke on and will certianly keep this video on a playlist somewhere and I'll certainly keep listening to this because it was highly educational, very enlightening and as I continue therapy, if I come to a cross roads where I feel that I have to decide whether to stay, change therapist or stop going to therapy all together, I will listen to this again and gauge exactly what to do. Again, this was a fantastic video. Thank you Brett👏 👏 👏
I've been to multiple therapists & counselors for some traumatic incidents I went through in the late 2010's, I quit them all. From the counselors that didn't really listen to what I had to say to the therapist that flat out fell asleep while I was talking and the one therapist that hit on me.... I sought out a group circle for people that have PTSD and survived traumatic incidents and that helped for a moment before some others came in and made it a "I'm the victim and need attention" club so myself and several others left and went to a new group and that one, which was ran by vets & former LEO's, was the best group of them all. That group, we talked, laughed, cried, and grew bonds together. It helped so much and after 2 months I told the group I was going to leave and venture out on my own and "finish this race alone" to which the entire group was collectively pissed and understanding. Moral of this; keep moving on if you don't feel like it is working. It's your health you need to worry about, and if you have a therapist that is acting like they're gonna lock you up because you are saying things that bother you, don't be afraid to tell that therapist that it's not working and you need to move on. Therapy isn't for everyone, sometimes the best thing can be just a friend that will listen or a group circle that can talk it out with you.
I think too many people go to therapy expecting it to fix them and don't realise they have to do the work to fix themselves, and that therapy is only a place to get the tools to make that happen. In the end you still have to choose to apply what you learned yourself.
I would say like anything else the answer to the question of continuing therapy is "it depends" I have a lot if complex issues in my past that working through with EMDR and talk therapy has helped me process and get through, but it is a process. I'm still working through different things over the last year. Also I am a 1st responder so trauma is kind of a normal day at the office for me. There have been really rough weeks where we pause going back to my childhood and other past traumas to work through the new trauma I experienced that week. I actually believe 1st responders need consistent therapy because we get hit with so much daily it is almost impossible to work through it all without help. That's why a great deal of us end up with substance abuse issues is because we don't seek therapy. Just my opinion, of course, but I find it to be beneficial and I'm not just being validated every time either. I've been challenged by my therapist on my behaviors and have had to look inward on solving my own faults.
I’m a 31 year old man. I have been in therapy for a little over 2 years and I can absolutely say it has made me a better person by every possible metric. It’s all about context; Some people undeniably use therapy to talk about themselves for an hour every week or two, with no intention of doing the work. But a good therapist will shut that crap down. Ultimately, a psychologist helps to provide you with the tools you need to understand yourself, how you engage with the people and world around you, and increase your quality of life. It’s up to you whether or not you decide to use them.
Few years ago I was diagnosed with severe depression. Long story short, my doc highly recommended me seeing a psychologist, so I did. After 3 sessions felt absolutely terrible, he gave me homework to do, thought it was mumbo jumbo nonsense! Oh how wrong was I.. After my 5th session everything clicked, the tools he gave me truly helped so much. Was booked for 10 sessions, we managed, with his help to stop at 8. With his help I improved and did not need to see him again. About a year later I bumped into him, said hello, shook his hand and said thank you. Matt Walsh and Brett are 100% right. I could of kept seeing him but was pointless, it would of became a chat session. We are all different, what worked for me will not work for others. What's important is that we use the tools they provide to better ourselves, learn, do the work, improve then use those tools and move on. It will be hard, don't get me wrong, can't suck on the teet forever.
Brett, I love how you can talk with us about these difficult subjects. It makes it easier for me to go out and talk about my traumas with other people. Thank you for being a badass!
I went to therapy for about a year. I learned how to understand what I was feeling and articulate it to myself. That knowledge became a power, and i learned some amazing coping mechanisms. In the end, paying for my therapist became the most stressful part of my life. When I realized I was going as a "favor" or "obligation" to my therapist, I just cut it off. I'm so happy I took the step to go, because meds can only go so far, and I'm proud I knew when to take the reins and move on.
This is brilliant. After being pro-therapy by default, I too have noticed that people I know who are in therapy for 10+ years never seem to get better. And develop this permanent, grating "therapy-speak" style of interaction that seems anything but healthy after awhile.
my therapist is great, I had her as a kid and now at 23 almost 24 I started seeing her again a year and half ago since I was going through a big change and I have been since then, but when I tell you she challenges me, boy she does! I have grown so much since then, she'll call me out when im in the wrong. we talk about my goals for therapy every so often. that's what you need in a therapist, otherwise its a waste of time. she always reminds me that she's not gonna be there for me forever and that this is for me to get a place where I don't need to go to therapy anymore. its to get me to be a healthier more secure person. just be honest with yourself and your therapist and you'll get there without it taking forever. also like Brett said, interview your therapist.
I’ve never gotten therapy but the idea always scares me. I’m not a people person and I wouldn’t wanna tell all my problems to a stranger, especially if they’re a liberal trying to make me support LGBTQ+ or BLM. I’m probably just paranoid but Wtvr
I had a very brief stint in therapy about two years after I got out of the military. Long story short, I was medically discharged after being diagnosed as a type 1 diabetic at the age of 25. With a wife and child to support, I took the first job I could and after a couple years there, I was absolutely miserable wondering where my purpose in life, specifically my work life, had gone. I only went in person for a few months before we started doing phone sessions. And then, I was done. It was a dark time in a tough situation and I needed the help to get through. Short term solution, with long term positive consequences. If you need help, get it, but it cannot be permanent. You have to learn from it.
I was good friends with a therapist. He was the real deal. He said, ‘if I can’t help you after 12 sessions, we need to come up with a different treatment to help’. No he wasn’t rich. He WAS successful
While I have been in therapy for 8 years, I'm hoping to eventually be able to stop it. I have bipolar, issue with SH, anxiety, and a history of trying to unalive myself. I have done several different types and am considering a different one now. I have done CBT, DBT, and intensive short term psychodynamic therapy (ISTPD). I'm about to start back with CBT after years of only ISTPD. It was uncomfortable the whole time but he was amazing and I think my progress is noticeable.
I had therapy as a child here in the uk when i was younger, it helped but what really helped? Getting older and just starting to take control of my life and my emotions, be more understanding of myself. It took me until i was around 21 but after that i then really started to get better. Everything just clicked after that
You make a great point about good therapy being uncomfortable. If you want to feel comfortable and affirmed, you can keep going to the same therapist for years and waste your money. But if you want therapy that works, the goal is to not have to go back
I have done therapy. My only problem I see is when they give you medication instead of just listening. I think a good Christian therapist would be good. I still argue with family about me going back to get a checkup.
its a bit off topic, but last year or so i got forced into a psych ward, and they basically forced me to take the lexipro so i could leave. i ditched them the moment i got out, but just those three days were about 15,000 in bills. EVERYONE in this industry is profiting off of mental health, and it sickens me. the ER doctor for several thousand for a 5 minute evalutation, the psychatrist got several thousands without even diagnosing me with anything, the ambulence got several thousand for a one hour drive, etc etc. everyone one was against my will, and im disgusted by them.
I’m a therapist. I promise not all of us are woke or money grabbers. I definitely acknowledge (especially currently being in California) that most of the therapists here are woke and if you are one of the more right leaning or even moderate individuals, we often feel like we have to hide and conform to nonsensical ideas. Otherwise we would be shunned by fellow therapists. We need those therapists for referrals, networking. I make sure to never be dishonest in my beliefs but don’t outwardly express specific beliefs either. While I am one of those therapists that does sometimes see clients for multiple years, I am always constantly aware of what we are working on in therapy, goals potentially needing to change depending on client needs and my ultimate hope is for them to spread their wings and do life without me. One of the reasons I work longer with people is because of the type of work I do. I work with trauma, childhood trauma, complex ptsd from a depth oriented lens using somatic experiencing, EMDR and talk therapy. As trauma builds up over the years (especially when it happens age 5 and younger) it can take a long time to work on as defenses are strongly built.
Love this!!! My therapist I went to for PPA/PTSD was amazing and was very focused on getting me healthy. And when I completely forgot about an appointment one day because I was having a great day with my son, she was thrilled and graduated me. I still use many of the techniques she taught me when parenting gets tough.
So good. I saw a therapist for ptsd treatment, and her words were “if we’re successful in our treatment plan, I should never see you again as a client.” And I haven’t. She taught me tools that I still use today.
In related issues, PPI (proton pump inhibitors) should not be taken for more than 14 days, or they could be fatal. And yet doctors prescribe them to individual patients for a year or more. (This has to do with acid reflux) The true cure to acid reflux is a couple tablespoons of lemon juice in the morning every day.
My wife is a therapist and her whole mentality is that therapy should be temporary for most people. The idea is exactly as Brett mentioned that therapy should teach you skills that you can apply to help your self going forward.
From the patient perspective I agree. I realized that I was having to prepare for therapy, having to dig up old traumatic memories and actively trying to see how they were still effecting me. I told my therapist that I thought actively being in therapy was doing more harm than good and that I would only meet with her monthly moving forward to be held accountable for moving on with my life instead of living in my old self inflicted misery
As someone who suffers bipolar disorder amongst other things. I agree, that first and foremost therapy is for learning how to cope. Learning skills to handle things on your own. However, as someone with a lot of past trauma and mental health issues. I like having that person there when I need it. So I always keep my therapist relationship open.
Even if it's only a catch up every few months or more if it's needed. For me, it's what I need. Not because I can't cope. Because I'm actually very self aware. I know the tools and what to watch for. Call it a crutch, but I LIKE having that person there if I need it because I don't talk to anyone else about any of the internal issues I have.
@@MissKateKatie that sounds very healthy to me
That's exactly right. Both therapy and medications aren't supposed to be forever. The system is broken, though. I do not understand why a psychiatrist and psychologist work separated and why a psychiatrist is pushed on you before therapy, medication on its own doesn't work, nor can a psychiatrist make an accurate diagnosis for a 1h visit, which includes mostly a standard questionnaire that the psychiatrist follows. What's even crazier to me is that a neurologist isn't included when a therapist concludes the patient has a major diagnosis like schizophrenia, or a bipolar disorder. These disorders show up on brain scans. An mri shows how your brain works and you can actually see the mental disorder. But I guess it's all about making money and not about helping people.
Key word *most* bret cooper mentions for all people and that what makes her a degenerate
As I'm going into college, psychology major, I'm realizing how 'woke' the therapy community has become. We should never push beliefs onto others, our job is to be there and help others not push anything onto them. It's sad how people now view therapy and some of us don't wanna put people through something they don't want. It's supposed to be a comfort thing yk, now it's not.
Idk, several therapists I’ve spoken to are actually conservative Christians
Living in the uk I’ve NEVER SEEN THIS OUT OF THE USA and it’s fucking odd😅
That !
😮😊😊
I mean, it has been woke lol. John Money, the pedophile, is one of its most revered scholars.
I have to give credit to Brett Cooper for openly talking about her life situations. So many young adults can learn from her maturity and resilience. Thank you !
I went to a (Christian) counselor at my college because I was dealing with some anxiety, and she told me in our first session that her goal is to make her job obsolete. A year and a half later, as I realized I didn't have much to talk to her about each week, I decided to be done. She helped me work through some things, recognize patterns of thinking, and make some good changes. She did her job, and I was better for it. I think her approach of trying to make herself unnecessary was incredibly helpful for me getting better. I don't know if it was because she was a Christian, or a counselor at a school (hence never had a client for more than four-ish years at a time), but I wish more therapists thought like her. Having that perspective helped me to realize that therapy is about progress, not a struggle session each week.
My therapist just told me last week that we should wrap things up, glad to hear others having similar experiences, definitely means we're all going to make it
Her Christian ethics prevented her from playing games with people for money.
I have an associates in Human Services. They teach the goal is to work yourself out of the job
@@CheffBryani love reading positive things like this. Too often do we hear about depression spirals and suicides instead.
I'd wager that being a Christian counselor helps, outside of religious beliefs, the Judeo-Christian moral framework is incredibly effective
As a therapist, I make it known that I'm intentionally making myself obsolete. My job is to help them become more self dependent and reach their goals as soon as possible. This is why I like to makes it collaborative, comfortable and critical. Also, I love Matt Walsh and even reference him in session. Lol
An anti-“woke” therapist is damn near a hero.
m.ua-cam.com/video/uZdv-TtiMkg/v-deo.html
But wouldn't referencing Matt Walsh be political?
@@roejogan2693right
@@roejogan2693 He may be a political commentator by profession, but not everything he says is political. A lot of it is the opposition reading into what he says and *making* it political.
I’ve been going to therapy for a few months now, and my therapist leans more towards the left while I am a conservative growing up in a right-leaning household, yet he has NEVER said anything remotely negative about any of my beliefs or values. Props to you, Dr. Nevin
That's, uh..... the absolute bare minimum?! It's supposed to be like that. It's... the job you're paying them for.... and paying a LOT for.
The fact you're genuinely amazed they can stay still and just listen barely saying anything for 1 hour for the mere price of 200 dollars tells anything it needs to be said about the industry.
@@olisk-jy9rzsays everything about liberals not therapists
Good therapists understand their patients and make sure they become self aware of their condition, and help you until you are strong enough to help yourself. 💜
So your therapist has the common sense to not scare off his pay pig that pays for his house and car. Nice.
Brett inspires me.. My parents said if i get 50K followers They'd buy me a professional camera for recording..begging u guys , literally
Begging...
My neighbor/church friend was a psychologist (passed away about a year ago from cancer, he was in his early 60s). He disagreed with most of the therapy community. He specialized in veterans with PTSD and he would only have 1-2 sessions with each one. His focus was to help them think through the situation that gave them PTSD and figure out things that they could've done in the moment to overcome/manage the situation. It made them walk away feeling like they weren't helpless or powerless anymore. He helped a lot of people and we miss him.
I feel like there are SOME disorders that do require long term therapy (PTSD, OCD, Borderline, etc etc.). But things like anxiety and depression, I agree that there can be an end goal and a plan.
My brother and I saw multiple psychologists for PTSD for around 6 years. Gave up cause it didn't do a damn thing. I should've also added they tried continuously to put us on drugs from day 1.
@@Jellybelly008 I shopped around for a solid therapist for a while before I found one who wasn’t trying to shove meds down my throat. I’m sorry that you weren’t able to find a reliable therapist.
@@iamme25yago I agree. There’s some solid research out there for DBT and CBT. Those do require the patient to put in the effort to gain from them. Those focus more on emotional regulation more than talk therapy.
@@not_yo_cheezI did ERP for OCD for maybe a year, helped a lot, but the disorder eventually got better. Switched therapists, but not much improvement happened.
@@Cute_pets_855 I’ve read solid research about ERP! I’m happy that it helped you get better! I know a lot of people who struggle daily with OCD.
In my early 20s I was struggling with depression and self harm. I got lucky and found a therapist who is older man (near-ish retirement) and more old school. Going to therapy felt like sitting down and getting advice from my grandpa, and it helped a lot. I still do "maintenance" sessions about 2x per year, but I felt like he's taught me how to analyze the problem and use my skills to figure out my own solution.
It’s mind blowing how such a young person can be so enlightened and sensible. Well done Brett
I wish those people on the right who don't want women to vote would watch more of her. They're fools not to want support from women like her.
@@arwenstrong2818exactly!
@@arwenstrong2818you are a fool for using the minority to represent the majority.
@@arwenstrong2818 that would be those on the left
@@arwenstrong2818 I’d say most people don’t take those people seriously. If 50% of the population loses the right to vote, we are f*ed.
As someone who went to therapy from 13 to 18 years old I can attest therapy saved me in a major way. I went from an angry and violent bully to discovering my family suffers from bipolar disorder. From this discovery, I realized being bipolar is not a curse unless it’s made so. Fortunately, with the right therapist, psychiatrist, and loving immediate family I have overcome this. Although medicated, I’m a success story instead of a statistic. Thank you for sharing Brett, and I hope this offers hope to the next man or woman looking to better themselves through whatever illness or challenges they may have.
You should check out Matt Walsh's video series on the recent studies that have come out about Bipolar Disorders/Chemical Imbalances and the medications being prescribed for them. God Bless you! 🙏❤
@@Ashley-WatchmanStudios2.0 I will! Thank you!
I'm type 2. Therapy has been helpful for me through the years for traumas, etc. I've learned a lot of skills over the years. But I still struggle with trusting people. I'm not honest with anyone in my life about how I feel about things on the daily. So I keep my therapist so I have that person to talk to without burdening others.
@Ashley-WatchmanStudios2.0 how would I find that? I'm very interested
Earlier this year a lot was happening in my life. I went to the school counslor and it was the best thing ive ever done for myself. After about 2 years of sadness and hopelessness constantly, everything that could have gone wrong went wrong. I decided to go to my school counselor and not tell mt family because they were all greiving with multiple things as well. I eventually told them after everything jad settled. I know school counslers arent exactly therapy but I went in the room the lowest ive ever been and came out 2 months later the happiest ive ever been. She helped me talk through my family issue and even anger and anxiety. Im a completly different person thanks to that. I totally agree, i dont need to be in counseling forever, but i got all of the tools i needed to function regularly again.
This isn't me knocking down therapy just saying that sometimes all we need is someone to hear us let us know we're not alone and I'm glad you found that thru therapy. Wish you well :)
@@Galactus23awww thank you, wishing u the best as well!
congratulations! im so happy for u dude thats amazing 🩷
This is so wholesome i'm so happy for you :)
I'm glad it worked for you... (I'm also a Kokomi fan...)
After going to therapy for two sessions, she basically told me I could come back if I felt it was needed, but she felt I already had the skills and was ready to move on. Her advice still sticks with me. It worked!
Therapy DOES help. Me at least. I've been super blessed with my therapists. No drugs shoved down my throat. And I've already taught myself healthy coping skills and they just needed to be refined which they helped me with. The thing is, you gotta find the right one. There's no "one size fits all". I've done BETTER while with mine. As soon as I stopped, I eventually go back into bad habits. Like negative self talk and ruminating. I just need someone I can check in with really. Even if it's once every 3 months. All mine pushed me. I've only changed therapists often because they leave and I'm "issued" a new one through the VA.
With me, I was worried about a false dawn. When you see a therapist each week for 10ish weeks, you might feel energized, riding the wave of your initial motivation. But I don't know if it's long enough to get a read on whether strategies will stick when your life gets busy and your routine starts to degrade.
I am studying counseling in college and this is one of the big things my professor talked about with use. There needs to be a timeline, and you need to get right to work. It’s going to be hard and uncomfortable, but that is what make it worth going. You are doing the hard thing and getting help. Edit: I go to a conservative Christian College, so my professors are more aligned with this way of thinking.
Ah, thank you for doing what you’re doing. I hate when people act like we just should write off entire fields instead of actually going into those “woke corners” in order to be able to serve others. I agree about having a timeline and do not trust any professional who says “Therapy can (or even should) be lifelong!” It should not be any therapist’s goal to create a lifelong patient. It sounds like theft to take somebody’s money without any sort of plan or timeline in mind. Obviously a lot of the progress is up to the patient, but if something isn’t working out, the therapist should bring this up as a problem and not just continue thinking seeing somebody enough times will fix their problems.
"Therapy doesn't work unless you do." A quote from my sister who has been in therapy for six years. You actually have to do the things your therapist tells you for it to work. And I'm guilty of not doing the thing my therapist tells me. It takes time to build up a habit.
"You actually have to do the things your therapist tells you for it to work. " They don't tell you to do anything, that's the whole point of this video.
It's against their code, they mostly listen to your sulking and once in a while ask "and how does that make you feel?".
At most they'll occasionally give some vague advice, but never specific acts. Stuff like "try being more positive" and such. That is why people go to therapy for 10 years and nothing changes. Except their bank account.
Huh. No wonder it didn’t work on me.
6 years? That's mental....
@@olisk-jy9rz A good CBT therapist will challenge poorly considered thoughts and ideas driving one toward their symptoms.
A bad therapist just sits there and agrees with the patient and tries to make them feel validated.
There are a lot of bad therapists.
@@filbertovandetteNo it’s not, that’s very normal. If you’ve never been through traumatic experiences just shut your mouth.
After breaking my arm when I was eight, I developed a MAJOR fear of death, or getting hurt that it consumed my life. My parents found me a good therapist. I went once a week for about half a year, and when I felt like I wasn’t struggling anymore, I stopped going. I believe this is how everyone should treat therapy.
This was honestly extremely inspirational. It's horrible what you've been through, but it's incredible how you managed to get through it! You're an inspiration!
I suffered from ptsd and did not treat it, and paired with severe stress at work and also bullying from coworkers, i had a breakdown and my doctor figured out, I'm in a major depressive episode. I was 19 at the point. So basically burnout and ptsd. I had therapy for a year. 10 sessions in 12 month and it helped me so much. I learned not to ignore the early signs of distress in order to "function". I learned confronting difficult conversations at the workplace and with family members, friends and partner. And if my words are not taken seriously and the situation is not changing, I might better leave. It took me a while to figure out, which are people that treat me well and which don't. Talking is helpful for realizing things, but the actions to improve your live are done outside of therapy.
This video came at the perfect time!
A couple days ago I told my therapist that I wanted to quit because I felt like we had hit a wall when it came to how much my appointments could help me.
I started therapy years ago in the wake of a traumatic event that forever altered my life path, but now I feel ready to take on the world without it.
Definitely makes me feel better about quitting with my own therapist. I did the same thing as you and basically told her that I ran out of things to talk about with her. I still had my struggles but I could kind of tell she didn't have the capacity to help me further (not her fault, probably just depends on her training).
My entire life I had very serious anxiety disorder + personality disorder with anti social aspects.
At one point led me to me barely leaving the house.
I tried therapy twice but I never liked the way the appointments were going and I was about to give up.
Until I gave another shot and found an amazing therapist... I've been in therapy for 6 or 7 years.
And I went from being completly shut on my house to an almost fully functional adult. I still have some goals I want to achieve but I'm on the final stretch. I went from weekly appointments to 15 days and sometimes even longer periods between appointments.
Therapy just gives you the tools for you to handle with the problems you have. But at the end of the day the patient needs to put on the work! It's not a cure by any means.
Maybe some people go to therapy just to have someone to talk about rough subjects. But therapy does help people that want to fix their life. And it takes time! It's not a turn the switch on and off
This is a great video. I went to therapy for about three years after my twin sister passed away in a car accident when we were nineteen. Now as a twenty-three-year-old I can see that it helped me a lot and I strongly recommend it for people who think it is a good fit for them.
This was very eye opening to me! I’ve been going to therapy for 3 years and honestly, as much as I love my therapist, I don’t know that she’s pushing me the way she probably should and my “issues” are fairly normal life things. I don’t think she’s being nefarious by “keeping” me in therapy, but again, I’m not working through massive trauma, I’m just bringing every day life stress to chat about. Which I don’t need a therapist for 😅 This is the second thing I’ve seen this week about how therapy shouldn’t be forever, so God clearly is trying to get something through my thick skull 🙈😂
I wouldn't quit therapy. I would find a therapist that would push me IF you think you still have trauma to work through.
Well everyday stress can also be overbearing from time to time. Your therapist is supposed to be teaching you how to work through it so that eventually you won’t need them.
Personally I only kept going till I found it pointless. Which was only 1 or 2 sessions in. I felt that 1, I have at least 1 person that I can go to and don’t need to pay for their time and 2, I already do deep internal analyzing. Meditation, shadow work and things like that helped me more than a traditional therapist. Those things made me face my internal demons. That is difficult doing solo so having a great support system and at least 1 person (which could be a therapist) you can go to is a necessity.
"I’m just bringing every day life stress to chat about. Which I don’t need a therapist for." Yep, that's what friends are for. If you don't have any, perhaps finding some would be a goal the therapist could assist you with if needed.
I mean it depends. If you’re bringing up “everyday stuff” to avoid something, get to the thing you’re avoiding. If it’s the therapy fit, find another one who pushes you. Otherwise, yeah, you’re not stuck in therapy. If you need it again, you can always go back. Nothing wrong with therapy itself; I think it’s more about being cautious with how much stock you out into it and making sure you’re still meeting goals.
@@MelanieBarrozo-u7s on no, I’m not avoiding anything - the reason I went to therapy had long since been resolved and in a very positive manner so it really is just me chatting to my therapist! I really do love her, buuuttt that’s not a reason to keep someone on her waitlist from seeing her, you know?
I think it's important to acknowledge the different types of therapy. I found EMDR has been far more effective for me than talk therapy. Within 3 sessions, half of my childhood trauma had been resolved. Talk therapy isn't the only intervention.
What's EMDR ?
Yeah, sounds like that is the good one!
What works for one person may not work for somebody else. Don't be afraid to do something different. If, after honest work, what you're doing is not working. Don't give up so fast and flip-flop between techniques and therapists, etc. either.
amen 🙏
Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. It essentially allows you to process trauma in a sort of REM (rapid eye movement) state. Worth looking into to see if it is right for you.
I tried it and was not a fan…but from everyone else I know who has done it I hear great reviews
As a 55yr old woman, I am SOOO proud of you Brett for speaking about your therapy experiences. I have had the same over the years, had a good one after my divorce and then a good one during my cancer treatment however NOW trying to find one to just figure out how to move on with my life as a single woman, it is very difficult. As a person with a Masters in education and counseling, I am surprised by the “style of counseling” that is offered today. I do not think that I know everything but some of the counselors that I have met with over the years haven’t done anything for me except be “my friend” while I talk about my issues. No answers, no plan to help me, no REAL resolution to my questions. Most of them have said to me the same things I have been already thinking. I agree that interviewing the counselor is a MUST!! Thank you Brett for being so open and honest. You are doing great! 💜
I'm autistic and have been going to therapy for close to a decade. I've honestly lost track of how many therapists I've worked with, but all of them have told me to just ignore whatever causes me stress.
That is not what they should be teaching you, they should teach you how to properly function THROUGH the stress, and how to deal with it afterwards!
People have stress. It’s normal.
@@frankzappa9148 I understand and ur right stress is normal but with autism the stress becomes overwhelming more then for the normal person also they should teach you how to cope regardless with mental illness or and any conditions and esspucally if ur a child teen or early adult
@@Pboogers_fan_page autism isn’t mental illness autism is a developmental condition. In fact, by farrrrrrrrrrrr the happiest people I’ve ever encountered were the autistic people that a local church looked after. So, you’re lying.
@@frankzappa9148 you can’t call someone’s experience a lie because you know someone else that is different- good lord 🤦🏻♀️
I went to therapy for a few years. When the sessions turned into chit chat and we didn’t really work on the uncomfortable stuff or work through anything anymore, I stopped going. Life is still just as hard but I have the knowledge that my therapist gave me to help me.
I experienced loss at a young age. My mom thought me and my brother should’ve seen a therapist. Never did, all I did was some soul searching, a lot of thinking, a little bit of ‘suck it up buttercup”. Overall it worked. A therapist didn’t bring me to where I am. You can’t run from pain, pain is a lesson, lessons will build your character and make you who you are. Face your traumas, face the hurt, and make it better. Brett you’re a gem, not many people are willing to be as genuine as you are to millions of people.
Well said bud
As someone who has been greatly considering getting therapy, I’m grateful this video came out during this time of consideration to help me make sure that when I get help I get actual help, not just a cozy chat session.
Happy to say that I’ve gotten a therapist and one of the first things she did was say that she was going to teach me the tools I need to deal with my issues and came up with a plan for how long we’re going to work together. After just barely meeting her she checks all of the criteria that was mentioned in this video. :)
I think therapy doesn’t necessarily have to just be going to a therapist. If you don’t have serious issues , things like meditation, journaling, going for walks, or hobbies/activities you love that let you take a break and rest your brain for a little are so helpful.
Absolutely. I study psychology w an emphasis in addictions counseling- I think we need to re-place heavy emphasis on lifestyle choices. I think a lot of people go to therapy to be told that nothing's their fault and to get instant validation. No one's holding themselves accountable and therapists just collect the check. That's why I opt to work w addicts- there's a very real problem to be resolved, and the people that waltz in and demand to be diagnosed w autism are too soft to get hooked on a substance. 😂
@@arsvivendi2636 yes, I think that people see therapy w therapists as an end all solution as well as a way to validate their own crappy behaviors. Everyone needs a break from everything to just sit and reflect. I see that a common problem is we keep ourselves so preoccupied at just about every waking minute that we don’t allow ourselves time to reflect.
So correct. I have some mild anxiety but definitely not in deep depression anymore. Some of my anxiety tendencies can creep in and out but I’m just more aware that I need to just feel my feelings, stay on top of my physical activity and eating healthy, touching grass and getting enough sleep. Most people if they ditched their meds probably wouldn’t need it. (Not saying there aren’t exceptions and therapy is bad, but there’s a reason it doesn’t work for most people most of the time)
That’s true! Those things can all be therapeutic
My brother has schizophrenia too.. therapy was good for me for a time simply because I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. No one knew how to listen to what I was saying. Once I got the story out and everything was off my shoulders I was done. I just needed that much. It’s created to have a safe space to spill your guts get some tools and then be on your way.
I have a brother with schizophrenia and just trying to understand his life is one of the most wild rides i've ever been on.
My mom worked as a receptionist in a building where a therapist had his office. She asked him once why someone would be in therapy so long. Expecting some special bad situation story. He said, "Poor decision making." He then told of one person that for 7 years has been complaining about how her mother constantly manipulates and controls her. Her mother had been dead for 4 years. They make a bad choice. Rather then face it, they make more bad choices. And He will take the money as long as they will pay.
I been doing therapy for like 5 years now, going maybe once a month or so. It didnt seem to work and thats because it took me years to finally start using the tools and understand how to use them, i never went there thinking its a waste of time and problems kept coming up and now im feeling like ive taken most the tools i need to function normally and not be a depressed mess. There are people who i have to assume struggle hella hard, narcissists cant take therapy their ego wont accept the fact they need help so i think it makes sense some people stay in therapy for a long time.
See, prolly need to report that therapist. Confidentiality is a must in these industries, divulging such details, even tho they did not name their patients, is still not ethical, unless they are looking for outside perspective from other professionals from the same field.
That looks like a really bad therapist
My therapist in CA admitted that even if I didn't find another in TN, I'd be fine because I had the capacity to process my emotions myself based on our sessions. It's definitely dependent on the person wanting to improve or just complain about the same problems.
My therapy experience has been exactly what I needed. I found myself unmotivated & literally sickeningly anxious, second year of high school, which is why I started therapy in the first place. I can confidently say I’ve improved so much in my life because of it. My therapist is awesome & she’s been key to keeping me on the right track. She holds me accountable to things that I let slide, even though I’ve said I want to hold myself accountable to. It’s been a once a month journey of about 5 years, but tbh I feel that I may be nearing the end. Thanks to her I’ve come into adulthood much better than I may have without. I would even call myself confident & capable in most things, which I NEVER would have thought of myself a few years ago. Find the right therapist, & make sure they’re helping you improve your life.
❤❤❤❤
I’ve been struggling so much this year and working with my therapist and now I feel happy again and better, my insurance failed recently for my therapist and I think this is the perfect time for this to happen. Because I’ve been in therapy for a year and I feel healed and ready to go into the world with my learned skills and knowledge.
I’m going into grad school for psychology. Everything you are saying is spot on. I was taught in my undergrad that a therapist should work themselves out of a job and not have clients be so dependent and learn to be independent using the tools that have been taught to them. It’s ok if the client comes back because something has happened in life such as them having to deal with grief that’s understandable, but it seems that some people are kind of using therapy as another label for them to use to make them a victim.
Which school? Sounds like a place Brett should give a shout-out to.
@@pharmcat8484 NSU in OK
agreed.
I have bipolar, depression and anxiety disorder and I went to therapy, and when it was no longer beneficial to me, and I felt strong enough to handle it on my own, so I left, no offense to my therapist, he was awesome. I got all the help and tools I needed and I can cope fairly well. It's okay to get help, it's not okay to stifle yourself and rely on someone else forever. Of course their are exceptions to every rule, but you must help them, help you get better.
That’s great! You can be proud of yourself. Could you please share some of the tools that help you dealing with these disorders?
“I never feel good about myself after therapy” is such a true sentiment! 😂❤️ If it’s actually working, then it’s acknowledging that we are broken humans who need help to deal with the naturally broken human condition. Thanks Brett!
I mean that’s what all people need though. On the flip side, I struggle with never feeling like I am enough or that I am terrible person because I make mistakes. For me, I need someone to show me how to navigate out of that darkness, so most often after my sessions I do feel better not because my feeling are validated. Rather it is because my therapist helps me find a way out and how to stop the spiral before it gets too far. Therapy is different for each person because each person is different. Feeling bad about myself after a session would be considered a failure because I already knew how broken and messed up I was. What I needed were the tools to improve and fix myself to rise out of that state. I even gotten to the point of that I am more open about my life not being perfect as this is stuff I would not have shared just a couple months ago.
I've never watched you before but will have to start. I think this is EXACTLY what's needed today--the TOOLS that you learn in therapy. Emotion regulation skills, problem solving skills, ways to analyze unhelpful thought/action patterns. I love that you're not 100% against it
I am 17 and have been in therapy since I was 12. So many of my therapists weren’t helping me but now I found one that I absolutely love. She might not always agree with my political or religious beliefs but she doesn’t argue with me about it. She genuinely cares about me and how I can thrive. I have OCD so that contributes more to how long I’ve been in therapy. I don’t rely on it. It’s just nice to have a fresh perspective once in a while.
My former therapist quite a bit told me I was wrong. One of my favorites claiming I was wrong what radical acceptance was. Thinking I was in denial about being depressed for liking to deconpress over the weekend. When I said perception is reality. She said it was not true but as you can tell her perception of what I was doing was her reality lol
I went through an 8-week Acceptance and Commitment Therapy program this year and it fixed me. But I also went into my therapy knowing I wanted to put in full effort to get better. I personally went through a traumatic experience where I was in a rock climbing accident while alone in the desert, and had to crawl my way to a place where someone could hear me and go get help. I was lucky to get rescued, but not so lucky that my right leg was paralyzed and I will now be disabled for life. Therapy helped me accept my new life and figure out what living a fulfilling life means to me now. I think a lot of others would be better off having well-structured, limited time programs, that give you homework every week.
You are absolutely right. You absolutely have to click with your therapist otherwise you won't get anywhere. It took me about 10 years of different therapists. Took me getting out of a small town and finding a psychiatrist and psychologist with her PHD for me to start getting back on the right path. After working with them for about 5 months and I'm doing much better than I ever have before it all started.
This video has been very insightful and helpful. I've recently been thinking about going to therapy. I've never been before, I'm 23 and this past year has definitely been the worst and hardest year of my life. A year ago on the 30th, my best friend in the whole world, my mom, unexpectedly passed away. She suffered a major stroke and it was a week long stay in the hospital for my family and I and very traumatic. For the past year I am aware that I have suppressed that whole experience. Anytime a memory from then pops into my head, I stop and tell myself I don't wanna think about it and move on. And I am aware that I am probably causing more harm to myself doing that than facing what I went through. I have no idea where to start when it comes to therapy and even worry about finding the right therapist. I'm a little scared to start this journey, but I also know I'm ready and I need it. It was very comforting hearing about your experience with therapy and your advice about therapy. I feel a little better now about going forward with this. Thank you, Brett 💕
I went to counseling when i was in a rough patch. Just taking to someone and being able to express my issues and get some feedback was a breath of fresh air.
I was in therapy for years for Anorexia, anxiety, depression, self harm, ptsd and it did nothing for me.
One of the big issues with therapy IMO is diagnosis, which often makes a person feel less responsible for their behavior. Like someone with anxiety saying "I just have anxiety so I can't be calm" instead of pushing past their anxiety and working on better ways of coping.
Your challenges should not be an excuse for your behavior. That only hurts you.
When I finally took responsibility for my behavior instead of constantly searching through my past with therapists to find someone to pin the blame on, that's when I started to heal and really live. And for me, that meant leaving therapy and being super honest with myself and pushing back all the walls in my mind, pushing past my comfort zone ect. But it worked.
Fast forward and I am 28, married with 4 kids and an amazing husband and am doing great. This was after multiple mental health professionals telling my family to give up on me, that I would die.
Most of my friends from my treatment center are still in therapy and going back and forth with their eating disorders. Its honestly really sad to see.
Have some faith in yourself, you can beat anything when you really put your mind to it and set yourself up for success!
It depends on who the therapist is I have to stay, because I’ve gone through therapy before and I’ve had both good and bad experiences before. You can tell which ones are only in it for the money and which ones are generally there to help you.
I went to therapy after a brutal breakup, as I knew I wasn’t coping. I had a very poor perspective of therapy to begin with but I knew I wasn’t doing okay on my own, so it came from a place of desperation.
First session, The therapist said straight to my face I was suffering grief from the lost relationship and I need to treat it like a death of a close family member, and in one sentence, I felt a sense of relief as she was able to verbalise what I had struggled to comprehend. With that I had the end goal in mind
100% agree, a good therapist will give you the tools you need to solve your own issues, and is just there to guide you on the journey of self healing.
Get in then get out.
Therapy truly helped me. I had serious rage issues when I was in high school. When I was younger, I kept everything bottled up and never talked about my issues or anything that bothered me. Eventually, I just became very rage filled. I definitely benefited from therapy the ways my therapist helped me cope with past trauma, healthy ways to express my displeasure, and overall how to shrug off things I can't control. My time in therapy led me to look deeper into stoicism.
You just needed the right friend and probably save you a boat load of money. Also, recognize and learn how to cope with your anger by accepting God into your life.
Well the give away was being a teenager in high school. I’ve had the same problems in high school. Good that it helped you, but most anger issues need a healthy outlet, like sports or some sort of club to join.
@@n.d.m.515Will you be that friend? I'm homeschooled and my therapist is on vacation for over 3 weeks and we're supposed to meet once a week and I need to get a *lot* if shit off my chest lol
@@lizzy1876 I would if I could, but I don't know how over the internet. I am also a lot older than you to the point that I remember Star Wars as brand new. My advice to you is when feeling a particular way, go to a safe open field or track and let out your feelings to yourself as if writing a letter to God as you walk around. Always end with a positive note, such as knowing you can always control your own actions.
@KlaustheViking Late on the reply. I was in wrestling at the time, and I agree with you that most anger issues just need a healthy outlit. The therapy was court ordered for me, so I didn't have much of a choice.
I had a mental breakdown back in 2019 and started having Person Centred Therapy that December.
I switched counsellors the following March as I could get free counselling from the NHS, which lasted about a further 12 weeks.
The following June I started with another counsellor on a fortnightly basis, as I was starting to feel better and didn't want to have counselling as a crutch.
By the start of 2021 I switched to having sessions every 4 weeks, and by October I felt strong enough to call it quits.
The process of phasing out my counselling sessions was definitely the best option for me to test the waters of living without therapy, while still having access if I needed it.
So I wholeheartedly agree with you and Matt on this issue.
Wow, this is easily one of the best takes on both therapy and mental health that I’ve seen from anyone on the right.
I went to therapy through a company when I was a kid and it was the worst experience ever. When I went back in college, it was so beneficial. I went for a year, slowly decreasing the frequency. The therapist my college provided we’re not paid per client, they were on a salary. They were less inclined to get you to stay and they wanted you to get on with your life. It is truly some of the best therapy I’ve ever had and I’m always so proud of how far I have come from it!
Well said Brett. I know it’s probably hard for most people to admit they need help, but if you want to get help you should get it. Nothing wrong with wanting to better yourself especially if you feel like there’s no way out.
Or just accept that life isn’t always easy and move on
@@frankzappa9148 Of course life is hard and sometimes people need direction to better accept that. Ain’t always easy for everyone
Find friends who will listen to you and gives positive advice. Much better and more helpful than any stranger you are paying your savings to pretend to be your friend.
@@n.d.m.515 Very true, it’s why I’m thankful for the friends I got. Definitely got me through some tough times.
I went to therapy from ages 29-35. Trying to make sense of my 20’s and my mom dying of an overdose. I stopped at 35. everything I needed to know about myself, mental illness and what my traumas were came with age (I’m 39 now) I know my issues and I dont need anyone to hold my hand at this point. I know my Achilles heel and if I can’t help myself then no one else will. I quit vaping and lost 46 pounds after therapy. Gotta trust yourself and take the training wheels off. But I know it’s not for everyone and people are different.
I went to therapy for about 2 years after my bipolar diagnosis. It was life changing. After two years my therapist said I didn't need therapy anymore because I had come a long way compared to when I started. Therapy helped me stabilize and teach me to manage my energy.
Last year I had a nervous breakdown after my father got sick. I was so anxious the whole time so much so that it started to affect my body. Layers of my skin from my hands started to peel. The pain in my back and stomach was unbearable and I couldn't sleep, because of nightmares. I was tense all the time. I was mentally falling apart. My father has always been my hero. It was hard to see him so frail. I started to see a therapist. Not because I wanted to, but because my husband pushed me to do so and it helped a lot! She didn't tell me what i wanted to hear, but she helped me cope and gave my great advice on how to deal with stress.
I think often times a lot of people who don’t have anyone to actually vent to about problems tend to stay in therapy longer, which is really sad.
I think the fact that me and my parents are so open and honest with each other about our issues and feelings is why I haven’t really given much thought to therapy over the years. Also, whatever I didn’t talk to them about I’d talk to friends about. However, at 22 there are some things I’m not comfortable talking with them about (and haven’t for a while). Those specific things are why I want to go to therapy, so I can fix them and move on.
10:00 is what my therapist told me at our recent session. I'm building myself up to overcome the timidness of not accepting upcoming challenges in the future.
Realistically it works for some but if it most definitely doesn’t work for all. If it did people wouldn’t spend years in therapy without resolution.
Therapy has been SO helpful to me, I can talk about my thoughts without worrying about the response. It helped me with my trichotillomania, binge eating, social life and school a lot.
I’m 4min in and was like… man I agree!!! I went through therapy during my last semester of grad school.
I'm someone who needs to be in therapy longer-term, but I don't plan to forever. I just have a lot of psychiatric issues that need constant care/treatment, but I have still made WAY more progress than previous therapists and I'm actually starting to be able to function normally
It's worth noting also I agree that if the therapist doesn't work out, it doesn't work out! It's actually less common than I think people realize that the first therapist is the perfect fit- for most of the people I know the "first therapist" or even third isn't always the right one- sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't, but you eventually find the right one
therapy isn't a crutch, the entire point is it's someone who gives you and teaches you the skills necessary to overcome mental illnesses you may have and/or to be able to function with them, and in some cases be able to completely recover from certain traumas. The only time therapy should be a long time in my opinion is if the person is so mentally hurt that they genuinely need that therapy- as long as they are making progress after each session and are actively getting better because the same rule "therapy is not forever" applies to them too
Success of therapy truly depends upon the therapist.
There are some malicious ones out there who see their clients as a regular source of income and also unnecessarily prescribe medications to receive bonus kickbacks from the medical companies.
All true. I tried therapy twice and gave up until early this year when I found a really solid therapist. The thing is that I was upfront with what I wanted, and told her that if she couldn't get me on my own within a year that she wasn't right for me. She loved that mindset and supports my goal
therapy is based around the idea that speaking the honest truth can heal you and organize your mind/soul... if a therapist isn't condusive to honesty, run. you were looking for a therapist, you found a cult leader. (also true for religious leaders)
also, because everyone's trying to make a buck, its in a healer's best interest to keep you sick so they can slow drip you medicine your whole life. this incentive also applies to therapists... the best thing my therapist ever did was ask "do you really feel like you still need to be here? you seem all right to me." it wasn't condescending or rejecting, he genuinely wanted to know. i don't think i've ever had a psychiatrist ask me that question.
This is from someone who actually went to therapy middle school 🏫 I feel like has really declined. Lots of therapists now push woke narratives. Sometimes would come out crying but that made me what to change even more ❤
I am a 15 year old with anxiety, and I am starting therapy next week. Thank you for making this video and pointing out the problems with thearpy. This will help me figure out if therapy/my therapist is really gonna work for me. Thank you!
My parents got divorced when I was 7 and I stopped going to church a year later and felt very depressed because I was an outsider at school, now that I’m 14, my life has been in ruin. I am finally getting a lot better thanks to a family friend who is a therapist, but I am thankful that they understood what was going on and was able to help me
Get back to church. A good church is better than any therapy, and it doesn't cost you anything.
@@Snow-Willow I’ve started going with my grandma recently and it has really helped. The therapist was actually the bishop when I went to church
@@Garrito06 that's fantastic to hear, I'm so happy for you. 🙏🏻
Funny enough, the longer I've been around and the more I have looked into the modern state of mental health industry I'm becoming more and more convinced that therapists are just a secular attempt at feeling the role of what church and the pastor should be doing. So it's kind of a funny irony that your therapist was your bishop.
@@Snow-Willow therapists only tell you some things that you should do while the church makes me feel good by going and listening to what they have to say and hearing people’s testimonies
I have my first therapy session tomorrow (as an adult) it's certainly not for everyone, but I think it's what I need. My doctor repeatedly keeps recommending it to me, anti depressants are like a plaster for your mental wounds, and the therapy is like surgery.
I'm 23 now, and I should have gone years ago. I've been before when I was quite young and it made me feel a lot better.
Being a British person I'm less concerned about getting "forever therapy" as it's not being paid for by me.
I hope it goes well, and anyone out there considering going, I say just try it, it might just be what you need. Take care.
No one is as good as Brett is to work in the sponsor's ads. It is impressive and seamless.
I’ve been wanting to try therapy for years because of problems and issues in my life that’s hard to find answers. Seeing this video gives a whole new perspective, thought, and research. Thank you, Brett for opening up about your experience and looking out for any of us that would have been stuck in a cycle.
Tbh I’m scared of therapy, I don’t like telling people my problems, I don’t want them telling me how to fix it cause it’s nothing I haven’t heard. And I just don’t know why I’m scared of it, it’s just scary
Follow Jesus Christ and He will be your therapist (an actually successful one). Anything you need self improvement in, will greatly improve with prayer. God bless you in Jesus' name, who is the name above all names & the only way to Heaven❤
@@arsondarksea Thank you for telling me that (Maybe bot?)
Therapists don’t do anything useful. They’re paid to hear people talking about their problems. That’s it.
Why pay for Therapy if you already have one ✝️✝️
it's scary because the object of therapy, or one of them, is. growth and change. that's scary. so is being self aware and present
I was in therapy for three years, and it helped me a lot, but it got to the point that I couldn’t make decisions without waiting for my therapists opinion. She was very professional but also pushy with her opinions. I knew that I had to stop when I realised that I didn’t feel comfortable telling her about my spiritual awakening, nor did I have the energy to argue with her when I did something I knew she would disapprove of. I felt there was transference and my friends didn’t like the sound of her challenging me.
Therapy for a REASON is so useful. I started going for the first time after my dad died tragically and suddenly…therapy saved my life. Now we’re meeting once a month and working on my confidence socially after shutting down during these grieving years.
I want to keep her in my life because she sees things that I can’t and encourages me in areas that others can’t. But I can’t imagine how self centered I’d become if I were in a healthy place and meeting once a week like SO many people do!!
For many things that people go to therapy for, taking care of an abused animal can do wonders. It forces them to think about someone/something for a change. Amazing the good it does one to do for others.
You are a tough cookie and you are so brave. As a mentally troubled person myself I salute you !
It helped me to take on the world again after 8 years. So I can actually recommend therapy wholeheartedly !
How does therapy help people like me and my friend therapy did nothing for us our pshyciatrist just gave us antidepressants which do nothing
@@-Zperco
Haven’t you watched the video ? Try it, I has your answer 👍🏻🙂
@@-Zpercowhen you realize life isn’t always easy, and make the decision in your mind to just “suck it up” a little…..you realize depression is a made up bullshit word meant to keep you down.
Face the day clenching your sword and your shield and fight
This was a great video.
I've been going to therapy for the better part of nearly 3 years now and I gotta say, some sessions are tough, some are the assuring/affirming ones that you mentioned in this video.
All in all though, my takeaway from my experience in therapy is that it is for the most part helpful but the line you ended this video on about taking what the therapist advises or the tools they give you, that's been hard for me at times.
I know there are some topics and issues we've yet to truly delve in to but knowing that when I leave and try to apply things to my daily life, I do feel as though I have made progress.
Therapy isn't easy and everyone has their own ways of handling tough situations and how to best help themselves get through them.
I advocate therapy but I do understand the message you spoke on and will certianly keep this video on a playlist somewhere and I'll certainly keep listening to this because it was highly educational, very enlightening and as I continue therapy, if I come to a cross roads where I feel that I have to decide whether to stay, change therapist or stop going to therapy all together, I will listen to this again and gauge exactly what to do.
Again, this was a fantastic video. Thank you Brett👏 👏 👏
Wow very tough life you’ve had so far stay strong Brett you’re someone to look up to a good example to other women.
I've been to multiple therapists & counselors for some traumatic incidents I went through in the late 2010's, I quit them all. From the counselors that didn't really listen to what I had to say to the therapist that flat out fell asleep while I was talking and the one therapist that hit on me.... I sought out a group circle for people that have PTSD and survived traumatic incidents and that helped for a moment before some others came in and made it a "I'm the victim and need attention" club so myself and several others left and went to a new group and that one, which was ran by vets & former LEO's, was the best group of them all. That group, we talked, laughed, cried, and grew bonds together. It helped so much and after 2 months I told the group I was going to leave and venture out on my own and "finish this race alone" to which the entire group was collectively pissed and understanding.
Moral of this; keep moving on if you don't feel like it is working. It's your health you need to worry about, and if you have a therapist that is acting like they're gonna lock you up because you are saying things that bother you, don't be afraid to tell that therapist that it's not working and you need to move on. Therapy isn't for everyone, sometimes the best thing can be just a friend that will listen or a group circle that can talk it out with you.
I personally don’t like the idea of pouring my heart out to a stranger, I would rather do that to a trusted person older than me with more wisdom
I think too many people go to therapy expecting it to fix them and don't realise they have to do the work to fix themselves, and that therapy is only a place to get the tools to make that happen. In the end you still have to choose to apply what you learned yourself.
Your therapist must be good enough to tell you when it’s time to stop, you don’t need it anymore.
I would say like anything else the answer to the question of continuing therapy is "it depends" I have a lot if complex issues in my past that working through with EMDR and talk therapy has helped me process and get through, but it is a process. I'm still working through different things over the last year. Also I am a 1st responder so trauma is kind of a normal day at the office for me. There have been really rough weeks where we pause going back to my childhood and other past traumas to work through the new trauma I experienced that week. I actually believe 1st responders need consistent therapy because we get hit with so much daily it is almost impossible to work through it all without help. That's why a great deal of us end up with substance abuse issues is because we don't seek therapy. Just my opinion, of course, but I find it to be beneficial and I'm not just being validated every time either. I've been challenged by my therapist on my behaviors and have had to look inward on solving my own faults.
I’m a 31 year old man. I have been in therapy for a little over 2 years and I can absolutely say it has made me a better person by every possible metric.
It’s all about context; Some people undeniably use therapy to talk about themselves for an hour every week or two, with no intention of doing the work. But a good therapist will shut that crap down.
Ultimately, a psychologist helps to provide you with the tools you need to understand yourself, how you engage with the people and world around you, and increase your quality of life. It’s up to you whether or not you decide to use them.
Few years ago I was diagnosed with severe depression.
Long story short, my doc highly recommended me seeing a psychologist, so I did.
After 3 sessions felt absolutely terrible, he gave me homework to do, thought it was mumbo jumbo nonsense! Oh how wrong was I..
After my 5th session everything clicked, the tools he gave me truly helped so much.
Was booked for 10 sessions, we managed, with his help to stop at 8. With his help I improved and did not need to see him again.
About a year later I bumped into him, said hello, shook his hand and said thank you.
Matt Walsh and Brett are 100% right. I could of kept seeing him but was pointless, it would of became a chat session.
We are all different, what worked for me will not work for others. What's important is that we use the tools they provide to better ourselves, learn, do the work, improve then use those tools and move on.
It will be hard, don't get me wrong, can't suck on the teet forever.
Brett, I love how you can talk with us about these difficult subjects. It makes it easier for me to go out and talk about my traumas with other people. Thank you for being a badass!
I went to therapy for about a year. I learned how to understand what I was feeling and articulate it to myself. That knowledge became a power, and i learned some amazing coping mechanisms. In the end, paying for my therapist became the most stressful part of my life. When I realized I was going as a "favor" or "obligation" to my therapist, I just cut it off. I'm so happy I took the step to go, because meds can only go so far, and I'm proud I knew when to take the reins and move on.
This is brilliant. After being pro-therapy by default, I too have noticed that people I know who are in therapy for 10+ years never seem to get better. And develop this permanent, grating "therapy-speak" style of interaction that seems anything but healthy after awhile.
my therapist is great, I had her as a kid and now at 23 almost 24 I started seeing her again a year and half ago since I was going through a big change and I have been since then, but when I tell you she challenges me, boy she does! I have grown so much since then, she'll call me out when im in the wrong. we talk about my goals for therapy every so often. that's what you need in a therapist, otherwise its a waste of time. she always reminds me that she's not gonna be there for me forever and that this is for me to get a place where I don't need to go to therapy anymore. its to get me to be a healthier more secure person. just be honest with yourself and your therapist and you'll get there without it taking forever. also like Brett said, interview your therapist.
I’ve never gotten therapy but the idea always scares me. I’m not a people person and I wouldn’t wanna tell all my problems to a stranger, especially if they’re a liberal trying to make me support LGBTQ+ or BLM. I’m probably just paranoid but Wtvr
same lol i just made a comment like this
Na you’re not. You’ll probably go in and talk about your emotional problems and they will say:
“Have you considered that maybe you’re trans?”
@@AutomaticDuck300 I would literally just die on the spot.
.
You’re not paranoid. The whole system is biased against normalcy
I had a very brief stint in therapy about two years after I got out of the military. Long story short, I was medically discharged after being diagnosed as a type 1 diabetic at the age of 25. With a wife and child to support, I took the first job I could and after a couple years there, I was absolutely miserable wondering where my purpose in life, specifically my work life, had gone. I only went in person for a few months before we started doing phone sessions. And then, I was done. It was a dark time in a tough situation and I needed the help to get through. Short term solution, with long term positive consequences. If you need help, get it, but it cannot be permanent. You have to learn from it.
I was good friends with a therapist. He was the real deal. He said, ‘if I can’t help you after 12 sessions, we need to come up with a different treatment to help’. No he wasn’t rich. He WAS successful
Having someone to talk to & sort through things is vitally important
While I have been in therapy for 8 years, I'm hoping to eventually be able to stop it. I have bipolar, issue with SH, anxiety, and a history of trying to unalive myself. I have done several different types and am considering a different one now. I have done CBT, DBT, and intensive short term psychodynamic therapy (ISTPD). I'm about to start back with CBT after years of only ISTPD. It was uncomfortable the whole time but he was amazing and I think my progress is noticeable.
I had therapy as a child here in the uk when i was younger, it helped but what really helped? Getting older and just starting to take control of my life and my emotions, be more understanding of myself. It took me until i was around 21 but after that i then really started to get better. Everything just clicked after that
Brett's transition to product endorsement is absolutely impeccable.
You make a great point about good therapy being uncomfortable. If you want to feel comfortable and affirmed, you can keep going to the same therapist for years and waste your money. But if you want therapy that works, the goal is to not have to go back
I have done therapy. My only problem I see is when they give you medication instead of just listening. I think a good Christian therapist would be good. I still argue with family about me going back to get a checkup.
its a bit off topic, but last year or so i got forced into a psych ward, and they basically forced me to take the lexipro so i could leave. i ditched them the moment i got out, but just those three days were about 15,000 in bills. EVERYONE in this industry is profiting off of mental health, and it sickens me. the ER doctor for several thousand for a 5 minute evalutation, the psychatrist got several thousands without even diagnosing me with anything, the ambulence got several thousand for a one hour drive, etc etc. everyone one was against my will, and im disgusted by them.
I’m a therapist. I promise not all of us are woke or money grabbers. I definitely acknowledge (especially currently being in California) that most of the therapists here are woke and if you are one of the more right leaning or even moderate individuals, we often feel like we have to hide and conform to nonsensical ideas. Otherwise we would be shunned by fellow therapists. We need those therapists for referrals, networking. I make sure to never be dishonest in my beliefs but don’t outwardly express specific beliefs either.
While I am one of those therapists that does sometimes see clients for multiple years, I am always constantly aware of what we are working on in therapy, goals potentially needing to change depending on client needs and my ultimate hope is for them to spread their wings and do life without me. One of the reasons I work longer with people is because of the type of work I do. I work with trauma, childhood trauma, complex ptsd from a depth oriented lens using somatic experiencing, EMDR and talk therapy. As trauma builds up over the years (especially when it happens age 5 and younger) it can take a long time to work on as defenses are strongly built.
Love this!!!
My therapist I went to for PPA/PTSD was amazing and was very focused on getting me healthy. And when I completely forgot about an appointment one day because I was having a great day with my son, she was thrilled and graduated me. I still use many of the techniques she taught me when parenting gets tough.