This is a true story. I know, because I was the bartender that he ran up to behind the bar. I'll never forget that night, nor will anyone else that worked there. He ran up to me and asked me if he got stabbed as he pulled his shirt up. There was blood everywhere and I told him that he had. I held bar towels on his back for awhile until others jumped in and helped out. Our staff was amazing and the guys took his attacker down and got the knife away from him. Surreal night. And btw, it's a friendly gayborhood bar.
I've been stabbed, and the way he recounts it is spot on. I didn't realise until 3-5 minutes after, until someone actually pointed out my wound, that it had happened. Adrenaline is a hell of a thing. Very therapeutic listening to this, sucks that it happened but I'm glad he survived.
Imagine smoking weed, blacking out, then waking up the next day in jail and being told you tried to burn your house down and murder Tim from Tim & Eric
I had an episode of drug induced psychosis in college due to taking too much adderall and staying up for multiple nights and I tried to kill my Roomate, who was also my best friend because I was convinced he was plotting to kill my girlfriend and I. He didn’t press charges but even now I’m still racked with shame.
@@ericfelds6291 As someone who treats psychosis regularly, please believe me when I say that was NOT your fault and that you shouldn't be ashamed, just aware of how your body responds when you push it too hard. Everyone has their breaking point, trust me. It's so easy for people to blame themselves when things like that happen, but that was the drug and severe lack of sleep, not you. Anyone who judges you for that is ignorant to the fact that they would think and behave the same way given the same circumstances. With that being said there are people who are more prone to psychosis from substances and they should be careful when using even certain prescription medications and should let their psychiatrist and PCP know so that they can use alternatives that may not be as "activating". You're human just like the rest of us, let yourself have your ups and downs and let those experiences build you stronger rather than tear you down.
@@steven13929 I cant really stress how deeply I appreciate such kind and thoughtful words coming unsolicited from a stranger online, it seriously means a lot. I actually also regularly work with patients who are in a state of active psychosis, I'm in graduate school for clinical psychology, and work as a behavioral technician in the psych department of my local hospital. I'm well aware of the psychotomimetic properties of amphetamines, certain cannabinoids and NMDA antagonists like ketamine or pcp. I was aware at the time too, I was just being incredibly irresponsible. I was desperately trying to keep up with a research project and just gobbling down amphetamines, then my brain snapped and I didn't even notice. That was the most terrifying part, everyone notices your incredibly erratic and unusual behavior/ thought patterns EXCEPT YOURSELF. Then you internalize their concern as hostility, which is what happened between my roommate and I. This happened in 2016, I still take adderall to this day but never exceed 5mg. Gave me an incredible degree of empathy for people with recurring psychotic disorders, who either have to bear the symptoms of the psychotic disorder, or take medications that have the same mechanism of action as parkinsons.
It is really amazing how far you can run on adrenaline. One time I had a pretty crazy night and I google mapped where I think i was and I sprinted over 4 miles. Nobody died, it all worked out kinda.
Tim probably saved that kids life honestly. If the cops had shown up to him wielding a knife and threatening to burn the place down they probably would have shot him. Him being taken down and disarmed by some bears before being taken into custody prevented that
This isnt the only time Tim was stabbed. The Delgados, Gregg Turkington, the San Bernadino prosecutors office and Money Zap have all stabbed him in the back.
An incredible story. If you can suffer physical injury such as this and yet have feeling and pity for the perpetrator, then it's THE definition of compassion. Good on you Tim.
@Bigfoot Yeah but had I been in Tim's shoes I probably would have adopted the attitude of "Some fucking stupid idiot took some fucking stupid drugs and tried to fucking kill me"
@@lamwam5065 lol you're talking as if that's their personality, it was very clearly explained that it was caused by the laced weed, poor fucker didn't even remember what had happened. Being able to have compassion is a mark of intelligence.
Powerful storytelling. I hope you’re dealing with the trauma and PTSD as best as one can reasonably expect to given your horrific experience. Much love.
@@GlazeonthewickeR people need to just realize if you want something you have to do it. Tim is just a normal dude. He just knows how to get what he wants.
Interesting to hear him finally tell this story. I was at a Tim and Eric Q&A in St. Louis in '08 and someone in the audience asked him about it and--boy oh boy, you could hear a pin drop--in this fairly large auditorium. He kind of mumbled something about the question being "clever" and Eric changed the subject. Oddly enough, I actually went to Akbar the year before that. Had no idea it was a gay bar (until I realized the female restroom was super clean and empty on a Saturday night).
han s Yeah, only difference is Tim scans all his fan mail and digitizes everything to keep a clean record, whereas Eric keeps all of his mail in a pile.
I've experienced what he's talking about with regard to the numbing effect of adrenaline. I was bottled during a rampage by skinheads at a Generation X gig in London in 1979. I felt absolutely nothing but my friends were very alarmed and concerned, and they had to tell me what had happened. The only evidence was broken glass in my hair
I've had it a few times, it's such a weird feeling EDIT: actually no that's not true, you don't feel really anything.. It's such a weird LACK of feeling I guess
Tim is such a great guy, he gets stabbed and then says the stabber had it worse. That's amazing. Not many people would think that, I don't know that I would.
I just want to say how happy I am that you are still alive, Tim. Your comedy is so unique and has made me laugh when I thought I would never laugh again. I watched your show when struggling through heartbreak, and drug addiction, and you are part of the reason I am alive. So thank you for being alive.
Synthetic Marajuana has nothing to do with normal Marajuana, it's way more dangerous. They just named it that so people wouldn't be scared of it. Really good marketing, but a serious dick move.
What he says about not feeling the impact of the wound is totally true. Had the same thing happened to me with a snakebite. Didn't realize until I was hallucinating from the venom or whatever caused it. I looked at my leg and it was swollen nearly twice the size.
"...you're being chased... and you have the feeling that you're running through molasses and you can't move... that doesn't happen in real life" Thank you SO FUCKING MUCH for saying that!
@@planet7085 because that happened to me a lot in my dreams and I hate it beyond belief. Oh and there's one time I remember when I was chased home by two scary dogs in real life when I was like 7. I had rollerskates on and just before reaching our gate (which was always kept locked) they unbuckled and slowed me down real bad. It was a similar feeling to trying to move through molasses while adrenaline was pounding my chest. (I managed to climb up on the gate and waited for someone to come get me). I haven't been chased like that since and I always hoped that if I were that muddy thing won't happen and I'll be able to outrun whatever is chasing me.
@@aAaAAA-ppgg I felt the same way. I was always afraid that the terror of a life-threatening encounter would make me feel the same way as it does in a dream and I wouldn't get away, but it's comforting to know my brain and body will be on the same page to just insta-dip. Kudos to for replying on a 5-year old comment. I can barely respond to comment within a hour.
finding this a long time later but i was stabbed in the head multiple times last summer and personally the molasses thing happened to me exactly like it did in dreams, which has been extra traumatizing to deal with lol so it definitely depends.
Of all the weird things this guy has ever said, the weirdest is hearing his voice tremble in fear about something that really happened vs how calm he stays playing absurd characters.
It aint that bad. I smoked that shit straight to the skull for months when my pals were on probation and didnt want to make them jealous lol. I only almost died once.
I smoked that shit ONCE....had a full on panic attack(my first) and thought I was having a heart attack. Idk if I got a bad batch, but never again, that stuff is messed up.
Tim right. It is scary to be that boy because I just can't imagine suddenly woke up in jail and police said I just stabbed a guy without even having any recollection. That is some real life nightmare shit.
Could you imagine driving down the street, seeing this happening and just thinking "Holy fuck was that Tim Heidecker getting chased by a guy with a knife?"
I'm not used to hearing Tim say ANYTHING serious so this was like a big build up to a non-joke, even though he warned otherwise. I picture him yelling SHRAAAAMP! and waiting for Eric to reply with a WHIIIWIIIINE!
From first hand experience, Dilaudid is pretty damn good. Takes the pain from like a 7 to a 1 in less than a minute. It has a great warm feeling up your spine when injected into an IV and then you are kinda happy for a while.
Fuck *recreationally using* pain meds. I was in the hospital twice this year with Pancreatitis, and Dilaudid is the only thing that kept me sane. The pain was *unbelievable* .
@@MikeSmith-mu6rx Already well aware of what opioids are, how they work, and the dangers involved with them. If I hadn't tried everything under the sun to ease the pain of my medical condition in order to just be able to function, I wouldn't take them. I've been on a strict regimen of muscle relaxers and pain meds for the last 10 years. The only time it's been increased was while I was going through cancer treatment and when that was over I went right back to level I had been at prior to the cancer. I didn't choose to have to take percocet every day and I wish I didn't need to, but it's better than being in agony.
I stepped on a toothpick once and it stuck about 1/4” into the bottom of my foot. My brother had apparently dropped it on the floor and it was stuck into the carpet pointed vertically so that when I stepped on it, it poked right in the fleshy tender part in the arch of the foot. I was just wearing socks, no shoes. There was a ring of blood around this GIANT splinter of dental hygeine soaking through my sock. I screamed and cried and begged God for mercy and forgiveness and then I pulled it out and filled the wound with Neosporin and put a bandaid over it. So this is pretty much the same story as mine but with gays, a Korean girl with donuts, and less pain.
@@GlazeonthewickeR what's up with people getting so upset about this? Clearly basic compassion is not basic; Have you been outside lately? Driven a car perhaps? It's non existent.
Can you imagine if we lost this hero of a man due to such a horrible event as this fuck This story is so scary and it makes me want to cry putting myself in Tim's shoes, but I also found something to be grateful for today considering Tim is still with us and making us laugh
+Atma505 This was before Awesome Show Great Job! too so there would never have been the show. I'm glad he is ok. He can continue do be fucking awesome with Eric!
My friend had a similar story. He got in a bar fight wth a guy who was punching him in the body with some kind of short blade between the knuckles. Only afterwards did he realize he was being stabbed.
One of my friends was stabbed in an oyster bar and his friend (another dude we went to high school with) got his throat slashed. He said he didn’t know he’d been stabbed until he vomited and it pushed a bit of his intestine out of the wound. He passed out and woke up 4 days later in the shock trauma wing of a hospital an hour away from where we live.
@@thr33 apparently my friends were part of a wedding party that went to the bar after a reception. The assailant was just a random guy. Not sure what caused it. The guy whose throat got slashed survived. I was never really “friends” with him after high school and tbh I’ve lost touch with my friend who was stabbed. It’s been like 8 years
I could be wrong but last time I checked synthetic weed is still available at head shops. whereas the real thing, which doesn't cause stabbings or face eating, is still illegal in most states.
Ive had dipipanone which is a very sought after opiate that sells for a lot on deep web sites. I immediately understood addiction after that ive had morphine but this was in another league , its crazy how somethung can literally take you to a place better than any heaven you could even imagine. Ive had that experience with some psychadelic drugs too but you have to make it happen.
@@shmooless3699 yeah I don’t really get addicted to stuff so I used to be like “oh maybe I’ll try it sometime” but after listening to people talk about how great it is I think there’s too high risk and there’s no way in hell I’m doing that. Interesting how something can make you feel so good and ruin your body / life.
Got my hand ripped open by a great dane while trying to break up a dogfight on a city sidewalk once. Same thing as Tim getting stabbed, I have no memory of the bite, didn't feel any pain, just pure adrenaline and then a bloody, mangled hand. Crazy times.
He's one of my favorite people. His comedy never fails to make me laugh, so I find it incredibly sad that this had to happen to him, or anyone for that matter. I can't imagine what I would have done if I faced the same situation.
Glad Tim is alive and has a good perspective on both the event and the perpetrators mindset. He's a good guy, this Tim. I hope that kid learned his lesson and isn't too emotionally scarred by the knowledge that he almost killed a guy in a fit of insanity.
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
I've never heard this many words in a row come out of Tim's mouth free of irony/sarcasm.
in a row!
More like absurdism. Not a lot of irony or sarcasm in T&E.
lasoogneypubes but Tim, alone, is a pretty sarcastic guy.
What are you trying to say? The hype was real
It's because he's telling the truth. I know the joking and sarcastic Tim, but this is the real Tim telling you how it is.
This is a true story. I know, because I was the bartender that he ran up to behind the bar. I'll never forget that night, nor will anyone else that worked there. He ran up to me and asked me if he got stabbed as he pulled his shirt up. There was blood everywhere and I told him that he had. I held bar towels on his back for awhile until others jumped in and helped out. Our staff was amazing and the guys took his attacker down and got the knife away from him. Surreal night. And btw, it's a friendly gayborhood bar.
I want to believe.
***** you have one of the best youtube description notes on any youtube vid lol
detdame Thank you for protecting this beautiful angel.
detdame i am going to get hammered at your bar because of this story
Michael Fischer in more ways than one
I've been stabbed, and the way he recounts it is spot on. I didn't realise until 3-5 minutes after, until someone actually pointed out my wound, that it had happened. Adrenaline is a hell of a thing. Very therapeutic listening to this, sucks that it happened but I'm glad he survived.
sorry for what happened to you, can't imagine the terror in that moment.
@@gordonfreeman-g5w Thanks dude
Oh thank you. We were all hoping you would weigh in.
@@salvagemonster3612 hahaha no worries dude
I don't get how people is able to breathe for so much time after getting stabbed in the back
Imagine smoking weed, blacking out, then waking up the next day in jail and being told you tried to burn your house down and murder Tim from Tim & Eric
I had an episode of drug induced psychosis in college due to taking too much adderall and staying up for multiple nights and I tried to kill my Roomate, who was also my best friend because I was convinced he was plotting to kill my girlfriend and I. He didn’t press charges but even now I’m still racked with shame.
Imagine blacking out from smoking weed. Maybe if it was laced with something.
@@ericfelds6291 As someone who treats psychosis regularly, please believe me when I say that was NOT your fault and that you shouldn't be ashamed, just aware of how your body responds when you push it too hard. Everyone has their breaking point, trust me. It's so easy for people to blame themselves when things like that happen, but that was the drug and severe lack of sleep, not you. Anyone who judges you for that is ignorant to the fact that they would think and behave the same way given the same circumstances. With that being said there are people who are more prone to psychosis from substances and they should be careful when using even certain prescription medications and should let their psychiatrist and PCP know so that they can use alternatives that may not be as "activating". You're human just like the rest of us, let yourself have your ups and downs and let those experiences build you stronger rather than tear you down.
@@steven13929 I cant really stress how deeply I appreciate such kind and thoughtful words coming unsolicited from a stranger online, it seriously means a lot. I actually also regularly work with patients who are in a state of active psychosis, I'm in graduate school for clinical psychology, and work as a behavioral technician in the psych department of my local hospital. I'm well aware of the psychotomimetic properties of amphetamines, certain cannabinoids and NMDA antagonists like ketamine or pcp. I was aware at the time too, I was just being incredibly irresponsible. I was desperately trying to keep up with a research project and just gobbling down amphetamines, then my brain snapped and I didn't even notice. That was the most terrifying part, everyone notices your incredibly erratic and unusual behavior/ thought patterns EXCEPT YOURSELF. Then you internalize their concern as hostility, which is what happened between my roommate and I. This happened in 2016, I still take adderall to this day but never exceed 5mg. Gave me an incredible degree of empathy for people with recurring psychotic disorders, who either have to bear the symptoms of the psychotic disorder, or take medications that have the same mechanism of action as parkinsons.
@@anydaynow it would have to be laced. I've smoked 1,000 different types and nothing like this ever came close to happening.
Tim getting stabbed: "Ya blew it."
Ha! Good enough for a poke...
Hhhhhhh
"Bullseye"
No its not OK you fucking stabbed my chest with a COFFEE POT
I loved her and you blew it
I followed his route on Google maps, Tim definitely ran a really long way. That's horrifying
Jon Sudano somebody once told me
That same thing. Rewatching this. Scary story
It is really amazing how far you can run on adrenaline. One time I had a pretty crazy night and I google mapped where I think i was and I sprinted over 4 miles. Nobody died, it all worked out kinda.
@Southern Fun my girlfriend lifts weights
I ran from police and let me tell you, when you hear the dogs you either stop dead in your tracks or push that shit to ultra instinct.
Lucky for you it was on Goggle maps. It doesn’t appear you would actually be able to walk that far
Tim was good enough for a poke.
is*
Yes, YES!!!😂
This a good one!
capeesh.
A poke in the butt?
a bucnh of gay bears checking out a bloody shirtless tim heidecker. this should have been the plot to billion dollar movie.
We need a diamond knife!
Just stuff that bears do.
-Dr. Steve Brule
@@KMakoENVtuber *DEAD*
Just a bunch of hunks. Who cares.
Wounded and half naked that's bear catnip but they respected his boundaries and didn't cuddle him. Bear pheromones heal wounds tho that's science
Tim probably saved that kids life honestly. If the cops had shown up to him wielding a knife and threatening to burn the place down they probably would have shot him.
Him being taken down and disarmed by some bears before being taken into custody prevented that
Plot twist: Joe was actually Eric.
"I don't forgive you"
Caustic Gaming He still dosen't like the book
Ya blew it!
Joe was actually Tim and Tim was actually Tim too.
Joe was tim
Turns out the guy was also a gravy robber
AcousticJuice how much gravy did he get away with
Uriah Talbert buckets
Arlo Jesus fuck that’s a lot of gravy
Not possible. We all know Gravy Robbers are Traiiiiiiiiiiiined Military Veterans
This isnt the only time Tim was stabbed. The Delgados, Gregg Turkington, the San Bernadino prosecutors office and Money Zap have all stabbed him in the back.
didnt he stab sam hyde in the back
@@The723343 that was so good
@@The723343 the cycle of life must continue
@@The723343According to Sam at least, but that guy is unhinged and I believe less than half of what he says.
@@The723343 more like sam cried lol
This is their most surreal sketch yet...
An incredible story. If you can suffer physical injury such as this and yet have feeling and pity for the perpetrator, then it's THE definition of compassion. Good on you Tim.
@Bigfoot Yeah but had I been in Tim's shoes I probably would have adopted the attitude of "Some fucking stupid idiot took some fucking stupid drugs and tried to fucking kill me"
Definition of dumbass
Definition of a soyboy who doesn't care about violent criminals endangering innocent people in the street.
"Definition of compassion"???? I think that's actually called Stockholm Syndrome...
@@lamwam5065 lol you're talking as if that's their personality, it was very clearly explained that it was caused by the laced weed, poor fucker didn't even remember what had happened. Being able to have compassion is a mark of intelligence.
Tang's Donuts sounds so much like a place Tim would make up that i had to look it up to make sure he wasn't joking
Haha. Very true
It's right next to Cakes Picasso aka Young Fro
@Smunstu Stinkymonster I’m taking a ceramics class
@Smunstu Stinkymonster James Joyce
hahaha its so true. It's like right out of the On Cinema Oscar Special's food selection
Did the attacker yell Spagett! after he stabbed him?
Here's my card.
Spooked ya!
Yes.
lol holy fuckin shit that's funny because I just imagined it
I fucking hope so
Powerful storytelling. I hope you’re dealing with the trauma and PTSD as best as one can reasonably expect to given your horrific experience. Much love.
What a brave guy, and what a story. I have a whole new appreciation for Tim now.
AngryRantingNerd And he still had sympathy for the guy, amazing.
So brave! Such sympathy! You guys are suckers.
Not sure where bravery comes in...
Boy, I sure would've emptied my spaghetti house if that had happened to me.
DeathPenguin1000 You gotta protect your shawarma.
Hahaha!!! That was the perfect comment :)
Yea the rangus would be sprayed.
So strange hearing a serious story from him.
@@GlazeonthewickeR lol right?
@@GlazeonthewickeR people need to just realize if you want something you have to do it. Tim is just a normal dude. He just knows how to get what he wants.
he realized he could profit from sharing it
which is beautiful in a way
SELL OUT
@@ZeranZeran that’s not what sell out means, dumbazz
@@ZeranZeran he uploaded an entire 1-hour standup he did to youtube for free and has a podcast he uploads to youtube regularly as well lol
Thanks for sharing tim. Helps me deal with my own PTSD to hear someone else talk about their experience, and the humor certainly helps.
"Degenerates, hobos and weird Chess-player kinda types"
+Gene McBeats pizza roll chess types
That’s where he met mark proksch
I love chess 😂
The holy trinity
Wow, I love how humble he is, especially when he empathizes with the kid that stabbed him and the consequences that kid is going to face.
he's like jesus
Empathizing with someone who stabbed you is just about the most Low T thing I've ever heard in my life.
@@Superabound2 projection alert
@@lepus6511 It's true. He is completely apathetic to violent criminals who endanger innocent people. He has no penis.
@@Superabound2 If you can empathize with someone who hurt you, its because you're a man and not a scared little boy like yourself
Turns out the guy who stabbed him was Eric. Thats how they met!
SRNF That would be a really funny sketch
@@felipea.barretto7503 They met when Q was playing with his devil sticks ua-cam.com/video/EYqZJrGV_tc/v-deo.html
@@allp84 anybody can use 'em.
Sam Hyde hired the attacker
He was so genuinely shocked and offended that someone took a picture of his scars. Rightfully so.
There's pictures anyways
Sounded like he was joking.
This is the first recommended video every time I watch anything on UA-cam I have no idea why
Interesting to hear him finally tell this story. I was at a Tim and Eric Q&A in St. Louis in '08 and someone in the audience asked him about it and--boy oh boy, you could hear a pin drop--in this fairly large auditorium. He kind of mumbled something about the question being "clever" and Eric changed the subject. Oddly enough, I actually went to Akbar the year before that. Had no idea it was a gay bar (until I realized the female restroom was super clean and empty on a Saturday night).
how did you find out the female restroom is empty? my preconception is that all persons on the internet are males, that's why I'm asking
@Lilgav never say is too late buddy, not as long as we are breathing. enjoy your day.
"The Bulge is a gay bar? The nights I've wasted there..."
-Leslie Knope
The donut store was a trap, but surprisingly Akbar- its not a trap
It must have been freaky for him filming ‘Us’ with him stabbing himself
tim is definately the number one handsome man
Mattm1986 XD theres no other option...
Mattm1986 oooo, tie-breaker! French kisssssss
Yeah... I only had some creative consulting from Bilb Ono
han s Gentlemen, gentlemen...you are both No. 1 Hansy Boy!
han s Yeah, only difference is Tim scans all his fan mail and digitizes everything to keep a clean record, whereas Eric keeps all of his mail in a pile.
haha, it was so fun following this whole story on google street view..
I've experienced what he's talking about with regard to the numbing effect of adrenaline. I was bottled during a rampage by skinheads at a Generation X gig in London in 1979. I felt absolutely nothing but my friends were very alarmed and concerned, and they had to tell me what had happened. The only evidence was broken glass in my hair
I broke my nose in a mosh pit and didn't realise until I saw the blood all over my front
@@Well.Pharaoh what
I've had it a few times, it's such a weird feeling
EDIT: actually no that's not true, you don't feel really anything.. It's such a weird LACK of feeling I guess
@@lordbored2706 I bit THROUGH my lip in a mosh pit after head butting a dude. Felt nothing until I saw a hole in my face
hope you gave the fuckers twice that back
To think we almost didn't have Tim and Eric; I shudder at the thought.
Nice beard, awesome job.
Josh Zook's awesome beard, great job!
Sick beard bro!
What a good nice beard
Woah, nice beard mate
He should've ended the story with "Great Job!"
Tim is such a great guy, he gets stabbed and then says the stabber had it worse. That's amazing. Not many people would think that, I don't know that I would.
Yooooo what is your profile picture???? I’ve been looking for it forever
@@psychobilly42069 blue jam the album
@@Zzyxzaa thank you so much I remember listening to it a long time ago and I haven’t been able to find it for years
It's pathetic
@@lamwam5065 bruh how is that pathetic
You can hear the quiver in his voice from the emotion
My heart was racing. I can't believe we almost lost Tim...
Oh shut up Cleveland
In all seriousness, the world would be a worse place without Tim! I'm so glad he made it out okay. Great Job!
I wanna know how Eric reacted to this? He almost lost his better half
Eric organized Tim's murder so he could claim the title of #1 Handsome Man.
@@NyQuilDonut lmao brooo
@@Evolutionanimal24 Shut up
thank god he survived.
@@vagabond2866 oath
Glad you’re still with us, Tim!
I just want to say how happy I am that you are still alive, Tim. Your comedy is so unique and has made me laugh when I thought I would never laugh again. I watched your show when struggling through heartbreak, and drug addiction, and you are part of the reason I am alive. So thank you for being alive.
Synthetic Marajuana has nothing to do with normal Marajuana, it's way more dangerous. They just named it that so people wouldn't be scared of it. Really good marketing, but a serious dick move.
Surprised not more people commenting about the horrible fact that drugs can make you do something like that.
What he says about not feeling the impact of the wound is totally true. Had the same thing happened to me with a snakebite. Didn't realize until I was hallucinating from the venom or whatever caused it. I looked at my leg and it was swollen nearly twice the size.
@Nick Smith rip
This story is exactly what I needed at this point in my life. Thank you.
It was pitsmans
boom still got it
"...you're being chased... and you have the feeling that you're running through molasses and you can't move... that doesn't happen in real life"
Thank you SO FUCKING MUCH for saying that!
... why?
@@planet7085 because that happened to me a lot in my dreams and I hate it beyond belief.
Oh and there's one time I remember when I was chased home by two scary dogs in real life when I was like 7. I had rollerskates on and just before reaching our gate (which was always kept locked) they unbuckled and slowed me down real bad. It was a similar feeling to trying to move through molasses while adrenaline was pounding my chest. (I managed to climb up on the gate and waited for someone to come get me).
I haven't been chased like that since and I always hoped that if I were that muddy thing won't happen and I'll be able to outrun whatever is chasing me.
@@aAaAAA-ppgg I felt the same way. I was always afraid that the terror of a life-threatening encounter would make me feel the same way as it does in a dream and I wouldn't get away, but it's comforting to know my brain and body will be on the same page to just insta-dip. Kudos to for replying on a 5-year old comment. I can barely respond to comment within a hour.
finding this a long time later but i was stabbed in the head multiple times last summer and personally the molasses thing happened to me exactly like it did in dreams, which has been extra traumatizing to deal with lol so it definitely depends.
@@rachelsummers4311 I'm sorry that happened to you. How are you today?
The gay bar is called "Ackbar" because "It's a trap!"
"Tang's Donuts" sounds like something straight out of Tim and Eric.
I remember him posting about this on MySpace all those years ago. Crazy story.
I gained so much more respect for Tim, already being a huge fan of his work, after reading about this story a couple of years ago. Such a cool guy.
Tang's donuts sounds totally like a name he or Eric would have come up with
Painus Cafe.
Tragus Donuts
Now Tang's I can get in to.
I actually knew a girl named Connie tang that worked at her parents donut shop! 😆
Tim is a class act for sharing this and sharing it the way he did. The humanity man. Glad he's okay after all of that
Of all the weird things this guy has ever said, the weirdest is hearing his voice tremble in fear about something that really happened vs how calm he stays playing absurd characters.
"Overdosing" turned out to be a very poor description
you can OD and not end up dying
Tripping the fuck out
Anything over a normal amount is an overdose.
Sean The Baptist technically yeah, but when you hear someone say overdose you think fatal and unconscious, not tripping hard.
@@seanthebaptist6757 nope...an overdose is a dose that exceeds the LD-50 (Lethal dose for 50% of the population) of any given substance.
Hooray, I get shrimp and white wine!
Jeremy Anderson ayyyy eat eat eat dat shkrimp
and you can usr this as an excuse to have shrimp and white wine always!
He's talking about K2/Spice. Extremely potent and dangerous synthetic cannabis.
It aint that bad. I smoked that shit straight to the skull for months when my pals were on probation and didnt want to make them jealous lol. I only almost died once.
I smoked that shit ONCE....had a full on panic attack(my first) and thought I was having a heart attack. Idk if I got a bad batch, but never again, that stuff is messed up.
Tacos de Lengua that’s half the fun!
I give this story five bags of popcorn and two cups of soda.
He's so detailed, you can see the story unfold in your head
Tim right. It is scary to be that boy because I just can't imagine suddenly woke up in jail and police said I just stabbed a guy without even having any recollection. That is some real life nightmare shit.
@@larsivar8772 you have no idea what your doing when your in psychosis how do u think u got here 🤨🤨🤨
No good deed goes unpunished. Way to be, Tim. You're a Golden God.
Thank god for bears
You guys gotta watch this in 720p, Boy is it GREAT !!!
I'm extremely glad he is okay and is still making us laugh today.
I remember this. So insane. At McDonald's. I'm glad you're still here my man.
Where was this recorded? Where can I get some shrimp?
+Eugene Song I'm not sure, but Full House was recorded in front of a live studio audience if that helps.
That was actually what I was trying to ask, but my articulation is limited because English is not my native tongue.
On tape
i eating shrimp right now
I'm eating shrim
This dude has been a vital part of my life
Could you imagine driving down the street, seeing this happening and just thinking "Holy fuck was that Tim Heidecker getting chased by a guy with a knife?"
I'm not used to hearing Tim say ANYTHING serious so this was like a big build up to a non-joke, even though he warned otherwise. I picture him yelling SHRAAAAMP! and waiting for Eric to reply with a WHIIIWIIIINE!
From first hand experience, Dilaudid is pretty damn good. Takes the pain from like a 7 to a 1 in less than a minute. It has a great warm feeling up your spine when injected into an IV and then you are kinda happy for a while.
fuck pain meds.
Fuck *recreationally using* pain meds. I was in the hospital twice this year with Pancreatitis, and Dilaudid is the only thing that kept me sane. The pain was *unbelievable* .
Mike Smith no he described a medicinal dose of dilaudid for pain. Don’t be a fucking clown.
I was given dilaudid once after a fall aggravated the neuromuscular disorder I suffer from. It was the first time in 7 years that I wasn't hurting.
@@MikeSmith-mu6rx Already well aware of what opioids are, how they work, and the dangers involved with them. If I hadn't tried everything under the sun to ease the pain of my medical condition in order to just be able to function, I wouldn't take them. I've been on a strict regimen of muscle relaxers and pain meds for the last 10 years.
The only time it's been increased was while I was going through cancer treatment and when that was over I went right back to level I had been at prior to the cancer. I didn't choose to have to take percocet every day and I wish I didn't need to, but it's better than being in agony.
Thanks for the update, Michael.
"Im gonna start calling him Joe"
Never calls him Joe
Wow. Thank you for sharing this.
Gotta love how he says “true story” at the end like he would fake being paralyzed
600k views on 9 years. This may be the most underrated UA-cam vid of all time
I stepped on a toothpick once and it stuck about 1/4” into the bottom of my foot. My brother had apparently dropped it on the floor and it was stuck into the carpet pointed vertically so that when I stepped on it, it poked right in the fleshy tender part in the arch of the foot. I was just wearing socks, no shoes. There was a ring of blood around this GIANT splinter of dental hygeine soaking through my sock. I screamed and cried and begged God for mercy and forgiveness and then I pulled it out and filled the wound with Neosporin and put a bandaid over it. So this is pretty much the same story as mine but with gays, a Korean girl with donuts, and less pain.
smashed like to that one. splinters tho? splinters? or just bad memories
Happened to my papa when I was young, but it was his foot and my toothpick
Crazy to think that if anything went wrong here we wouldn’t have had on cinema at the cinema
Gay community to the rescue!
If anyone is still curious, the song that started to play was Fools Gold - Suprise Hotel.
tim and joe's sister exchange glances and begin weeping
freeze frame, to monochrome
GREAT JOB! 🎶
Thanks for the upload
So what happened to "Joe"?
Imagine almost getting stabbed to death and then less than a year later you have a show on adult swim
Not to mention the fact that he feels for the guy that stabbed him. Talk about turning the other cheek.
It’s called basic compassion. He’s not a fucking superhero.
@@GlazeonthewickeR what's up with people getting so upset about this? Clearly basic compassion is not basic; Have you been outside lately? Driven a car perhaps? It's non existent.
I’ve always enjoyed his comedy, but this made me really appreciate what a damn fine storyteller Tim Heidecker is.
Can you imagine if we lost this hero of a man due to such a horrible event as this
fuck
This story is so scary and it makes me want to cry putting myself in Tim's shoes, but I also found something to be grateful for today considering Tim is still with us and making us laugh
Atma505 for sure!
Well said. :)
This is nothing, I got shot and almost died for real, this is nothing. You're gay
StingRay Jenkins dang, guess I'm gay now
wanna make out?
+Atma505
This was before Awesome Show Great Job! too so there would never have been the show. I'm glad he is ok. He can continue do be fucking awesome with Eric!
Ha ha ha, what a story, Tim.
+dharmallars Im so glad that tim is okay, and I love lisa so much
How's your sex life?
This may be the only time I’ve heard Heidecker speak honestly and out of character. Terrifying story!!
I read your comment before the video and did not understand it. After the video I found it hilarious. Way to be great at the internet.
My friend had a similar story. He got in a bar fight wth a guy who was punching him in the body with some kind of short blade between the knuckles.
Only afterwards did he realize he was being stabbed.
kudos to Tim for addressing the fact that someone just had to snap a pic but doing it in a calm almost anti celebrity way. This guy is a class act.
One of my friends was stabbed in an oyster bar and his friend (another dude we went to high school with) got his throat slashed. He said he didn’t know he’d been stabbed until he vomited and it pushed a bit of his intestine out of the wound. He passed out and woke up 4 days later in the shock trauma wing of a hospital an hour away from where we live.
Holy shit. What happened to the guy that got his throat slashed and what was the motivation?
@@thr33 apparently my friends were part of a wedding party that went to the bar after a reception. The assailant was just a random guy. Not sure what caused it. The guy whose throat got slashed survived. I was never really “friends” with him after high school and tbh I’ve lost touch with my friend who was stabbed. It’s been like 8 years
This is the best Ted-talk I've listened to.
I could be wrong but last time I checked synthetic weed is still available at head shops. whereas the real thing, which doesn't cause stabbings or face eating, is still illegal in most states.
How is uncle Escobar going to make some money??
Plot twist: Joe was actually Gregg Turkington.
Hes gonna prove tim wrong about Star Trek 2 one way or another...
Hes gonna prove tim wrong about Star Trek 2 one way or another...
Tim Heidecker really knows how to weave an interesting story out of all of this while showing some classy wit.
Great Job!
Kinda messed up someone took a picture at the end there. I hope they did delete it.
Kind of ironic that a drug addict tries to kill him, then he suddenly experiences how opiates feel like the best thing in the world.
Ive had dipipanone which is a very sought after opiate that sells for a lot on deep web sites. I immediately understood addiction after that ive had morphine but this was in another league , its crazy how somethung can literally take you to a place better than any heaven you could even imagine. Ive had that experience with some psychadelic drugs too but you have to make it happen.
@@shmooless3699 yeah I don’t really get addicted to stuff so I used to be like “oh maybe I’ll try it sometime” but after listening to people talk about how great it is I think there’s too high risk and there’s no way in hell I’m doing that. Interesting how something can make you feel so good and ruin your body / life.
@@8BLOO8 I had that experience with coke. Tried it and was like, "I enjoyed that way too much. I'm never touching that shit again".
Got my hand ripped open by a great dane while trying to break up a dogfight on a city sidewalk once. Same thing as Tim getting stabbed, I have no memory of the bite, didn't feel any pain, just pure adrenaline and then a bloody, mangled hand. Crazy times.
He's one of my favorite people. His comedy never fails to make me laugh, so I find it incredibly sad that this had to happen to him, or anyone for that matter. I can't imagine what I would have done if I faced the same situation.
He's a genius.
Glad Tim is alive and has a good perspective on both the event and the perpetrators mindset. He's a good guy, this Tim. I hope that kid learned his lesson and isn't too emotionally scarred by the knowledge that he almost killed a guy in a fit of insanity.