Make Him Miss You | You've Never Heard THIS Before

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  • Опубліковано 19 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1 тис.

  • @JonathonAslay
    @JonathonAslay  2 роки тому +62

    FREE Discovery Call with Jonathon► jonathonaslay.com/coaching

    • @desireejordaan2371
      @desireejordaan2371 2 роки тому +3

      I like your shirt and coffee mug.....Great video

    • @katherineturner8634
      @katherineturner8634 2 роки тому +1

      Thank you, I definitely agree!!

    • @victoriasethunya8594
      @victoriasethunya8594 2 роки тому +1

      My future partner and I will be visiting with Jonathon to balance our "thinkings," but I will be checking in soon to figure out if I am in alignment with the right people. Notice, I don't say person. Anyway, it's because I don't want to tie myself to one probability...

    • @Linda-rz6ip
      @Linda-rz6ip 2 роки тому

      I have tried dating apps and so on, they tried to scam me or want money and etc…don’t want you wasting your time on a call from a old gal, the young ones need you so bad. Appreciate you and listening to your broadcast

    • @eleonoraformatoneeszczepan8807
      @eleonoraformatoneeszczepan8807 2 роки тому +1

      Reminds me of Steve Martin.
      Want to date?
      I'm not on any dating apps.
      No, don't have my act together. Not interested in moving from Australia either.
      I'm no princess ... yeah, I've got issues.
      Need a hug. Thanks for the hug. Hug.
      Touch is up there for me as a love language.

  • @breezluize3282
    @breezluize3282 2 роки тому +82

    With the RIGHT person, you can be authentic and organic. No games required.

  • @davideasiebert1941
    @davideasiebert1941 2 роки тому +508

    Honesty works in relationships. I hate games. I would much rather be alone. People who are afraid to be alone create their own dysfunction. Once you are okay with solitude you get to know who you are and what you want. Deal with you shadow side.

  • @katemoffitt1641
    @katemoffitt1641 2 роки тому +428

    Once U feel avoided by someone…
    never disturb them again.

    • @carmenmyer8985
      @carmenmyer8985 2 роки тому +13

      I love what you said about being avoided by someone, my question is I feel avoided when I'm not contacted like an evening by my boyfriend because he's too busy on the computer and then during the daytime he's too busy doing his yard. I feel avoided like I'm on the back burner but am I correct and feeling that way? Any advice?

    • @paulaparkman5127
      @paulaparkman5127 2 роки тому

      @@carmenmyer8985 I I once wrote a poem, I'm no back burner bitch!! I'm the main course!!! Go out and be someone's main course.

    • @rturtle5795
      @rturtle5795 2 роки тому +11

      @@carmenmyer8985 if my bf ignored me for the yard and computer i might feel a little upset but mine was a serial cheater. It was the worst betrayal to me.

    • @loripark5057
      @loripark5057 2 роки тому +13

      Hi Carmen! I hear you & feel happy & safest with frequent contact too. I love to use this phrase to reinforce & ask for what I NEED for more frequent contact with my men I date. “ May I share something with you? It makes me SO happy when you contact me frequently each day ! Do you mind if we find ways to keep in closer touch? “
      There’s def. The dates that will never prioritize time to stay in touch …they usually excuse themselves from my life anyway …as they should. Best wishes to you ! 🦋

    • @carmenmyer8985
      @carmenmyer8985 2 роки тому +5

      @@loripark5057 thank you Lori for sharing your thoughts! I will try that phrase! It seems like I never had this problem till it was only I really wanted. Relationships are definitely complicated, laugh eat love and never forget your prayers 😇

  • @joycealdrich
    @joycealdrich 2 роки тому +273

    Thank you for your advice. May we each find someone we can make a life with. Looking forward to that day. I have upped my game, by losing weight, changing my hair to look good for my age, 66, dressing well, everytime I go out (and it doesn't cost much to dress well), wearing lipstick and mascara, and focusing on my family, singing and painting. The happier I am with my outer appearance, the more my inner feels good about me. It's not always easy, but I'm pushing myself to do it. As a result, people tell me I'm looking good. I'm not invisible, anymore. Interestingly, the music and painting are also getting more notice. 👌 If someone cones into my life... Great! If they don't, yes, I'll have sad moments, of course, because I don't want to be alone, but I need to take care of me, as I am alone, so is what it is. Hey! I'm enjoying my relationship with my wardrobe, at the moment!!! Fun to dress up, do my nails, and I learned to cut my hair into a Bob on UA-cam, so saving money, and can keep the look fresh! Not going to spend the last part of my life in a slump! May G-d give me strength!

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  2 роки тому +9

      Cool 😎

    • @solicitedadvice1771
      @solicitedadvice1771 2 роки тому +12

      Rockstar!!!

    • @joycealdrich
      @joycealdrich 2 роки тому +7

      @@johnhompson1209 That's wonderful news!!! May you have a long, happy life together! 💞💕❣❤💝 Honestly, because of my mental health, I really am focusing on being happy alone. If it's meant for me to have someone in my life, given I can stay fairly stable, I will welcome them. My pocketbook, also, is one that relies on a low Senior's pension, so paying for any kind of counseling is prohibitive. I'm getting a lot out of Jonathan's vids. I can only imagine how much more effective he is one on one, though. Really happy for you, though, John!!! May you have 120 years, in good health, with your sweetheart!

    • @vhayashi7369
      @vhayashi7369 2 роки тому +6

      You're doing great!!! Watch Manifest with Jasmine on UA-cam. Changed my life I have my dream connection now

    • @joycealdrich
      @joycealdrich 2 роки тому +1

      @@vhayashi7369 Thanks!

  • @katstewart4343
    @katstewart4343 Рік тому +10

    Appreciation first!
    -good communication skills
    -patience and understanding that humans are flawed
    - generally agreeable vs victim mindset
    -be fun, outgoing and spontaneous!
    -live in your empowerment!
    -healthy body, and mind. Look after yourself!!
    -financially have their act together
    -independent energy vs dependent energy. You are in charge of your relationship with a healthy man.
    -You're in love with yourself first!!
    Hugs of love to all😊
    Thanks Jonathan.

  • @jens6039
    @jens6039 2 роки тому +120

    I’m 37 and divorced almost 2 years. I’ve been dating men Ive met online for the last year. I am becoming disheartened about these guys. None of them want to put work into growing something. If they are divorced, they are broken and players. If they have been bachelors, they show no capacity of growing into more. What happened to people becoming a couple over time and staying together ? :(

    • @rawr7230
      @rawr7230 2 роки тому +7

      I'm 42 and I was with my husband almost 20 years when he died last year. I'm totally broken. We promised each other that if we ever divorced we'd never remarry and if death we'd never look for a new mate. I know the promises sound stern and possibly unattainable but so far I have no inkling to date again. And after watching Jonothan Content....I'm even more sure I won't ever date again. Even he says most relationships have a low success rate so there it is.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  2 роки тому +24

      There are good men out there...

    • @yourfutureisnow6480
      @yourfutureisnow6480 2 роки тому +20

      Ye, I feel you. I don't even like apps to meet men. Most people are wanting to know if there's someone " better" out there. Most men I meet all want sex waaay too soon as well.

    • @Star-Boarder
      @Star-Boarder 2 роки тому +14

      I've felt like I'm sifting through someone else's trash after my divorce. I won't date online. I tried it once and the online site that I paid for didn't send me 1 man worthwhile so their algorithms are an insult to dog poo. I'm am fine with being single because being miserable is much worse. Also, I shouldn't have to become an online advert to men who 99.9% of the time aren't healthy for a relationship.

    • @clarissamck
      @clarissamck 2 роки тому +1

      Relatable Jen

  • @juliedaly7262
    @juliedaly7262 2 роки тому +47

    U are the first person that I’ve found on YT that makes any kind of sense and tells it like it is. I used to think that maybe there was something wrong with me because guys would start to ghost me after they got to know me a little. Truth is, I think that I’m so independent and self-sufficient, that most men find this off-putting and intimidating. I recently came back from a vacation, where I reconnected with myself and discovered that the only thing that was wrong with me, was that I was selling myself short. Maybe one day I’ll find one of that 20%. Until then, I am enough by myself and will not settle for less. Moral of the story: Don’t drink poison just because you’re thirsty!

    • @dianaschoen4485
      @dianaschoen4485 2 роки тому +3

      Well said! Agree!

    • @sylviagalloway9406
      @sylviagalloway9406 2 роки тому +6

      Julie, I felt like I was reading my own reply.I totally agree!! I've been told I was intimidating! I'm quite proud!😁

  • @OolongG952
    @OolongG952 2 роки тому +99

    If someone pushes you away, you should leave them alone. If he don’t give anything, should I keep communicating with them? If he pulls back, it makes me think he doesn’t want to be bothered so I leave them alone…..

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  2 роки тому +7

      Exactly

    • @andreaberryman5354
      @andreaberryman5354 2 роки тому +2

      So, what you do is decrease communication-and ask, "Is everything alright?" Or "Is everything okay between us? If not, that's alright." BOOM-his in to speak up, right?

    • @OolongG952
      @OolongG952 2 роки тому

      @@johnhompson1209 no thanks

    • @OolongG952
      @OolongG952 2 роки тому +7

      @@andreaberryman5354 I’ve tried that. This guy is too hard to deal with. He’s had 4 failed marriages.

    • @horselady4375
      @horselady4375 2 роки тому +2

      Yes. I had the same scenario so I quit.

  • @Cleaningfairy1970
    @Cleaningfairy1970 2 роки тому +63

    I didn't do "High School" when I was in High School. If I'm busy it's because I am working to financially support myself. If someone doesn't accept me the way I am than they don't need to be in my airspace. I don't allow people to live rent free in my head. I grew up and want a grown up partner not drama.

    • @tarawalsh7045
      @tarawalsh7045 2 роки тому +1

      I think what he is referring to is the fact that everyone is busy to financially support themselves. If someone is busy every time you try to engage with them, let them go. Busy here is an analogy for avoidance. Another way of saying it is: I won't be available for the next few months... I have done that one when some woman I knew (barely) started calling me daily for no reason at all. I think she wanted me to be her emotional support and that just wasn't going to happen. I will emotionally support people but not play therapist 24/7. I am too busy with things that feed me back (you get that, right?) for that. Love your name too!

  • @keddy5627
    @keddy5627 2 роки тому +106

    A dear friend once told me this: “If he is leaving, there is NOTHING you can do to make him stay; if he is staying, there is NOTHING you will do to make him leave.” Wise words!
    This talk was validating! I am aware that I possess the masculine energy of action-oriented relationship behaviors and I oftentimes think that maybe I should take a more passive role, however this does not fit my authentic self…thank you!

  • @richm316
    @richm316 2 роки тому +10

    Scarcity creates value. If your friend is just as happy to see you like your dog is then you have someone who cares for you.

  • @TimTamRipple
    @TimTamRipple 2 роки тому +154

    You cant “make” someone feel something . All these “games” are stupid and I agree with you.

  • @helenaasousa
    @helenaasousa 2 роки тому +77

    “I actually believe that most people are emotionally dysfunctional”. I love it! I, also agree. We all are to a degree some way, way, more than others. Thank You! Great Message!

  • @Caymanlady
    @Caymanlady Рік тому +2

    Yes John! I totally agree with you. Why would anyone want to make someone miss you…that sounds so negative…it’s like the glass half full. I would like to have a man want me!!!

  • @katewright632
    @katewright632 2 роки тому +52

    This is what I needed to hear. Real wisdom and honesty. I have watched a few dating coaches and they all tell you to play mind games, reverse psychology and basically act. It is like telling your stubborn child Bye I'm going now!' so they get scared ad run to catch up with you. It is a trick most parents employ and the sad thing is it works. We should not be using tactics to get what we want. Men shouldn't be that bad that we need to control them. I like how you said us women take charge... but don't manipluate. These tactics are dysfunctional for dysfunctional people. Trust and be patient.

    • @lorrainemoody9353
      @lorrainemoody9353 2 роки тому

      Ok

    • @picklesims
      @picklesims 2 роки тому +1

      I feel like it's different with kids.
      If the child is set on staying at the playground and will not leave for any type of persuasion, the parents' only 2 options may be 1. daying that they are leaving and the child can come if they want to, which they most likely will
      or 2. the parent can force the child physically.
      I choose to let the child feel like they have a choice and leave the playground because they want to.

  • @idegafa
    @idegafa 2 роки тому +23

    Due to very recent heartbreak, I have watched a bunch of those videos (like the one you mentioned in the beginning), these past few days. They always left me confused and with a distinct feeling of just wanting to give up on love, because I mostly like who I am and am just not the kind of person who likes to play mind games, or stick to random dating rules, that still don't work, but everyone just agrees to go by.
    This video is the first one, that actually made sense and resonated with me. I feel like I finally understood some things, I have never been able to grasp, before. I feel so much better! I finally know, what I need to work on and more importantly towards!
    Thank you so much!

    • @carmenmyer8985
      @carmenmyer8985 2 роки тому +4

      You go girl we all learn sometimes it's the hard way do you and only you!

    • @marthahardie
      @marthahardie 2 роки тому +3

      Just hang in there and love yourself first. Hold your head up, poke out your chest, think of something great and smile at yourself every chance you get. I know. These are baby steps that helped me through.

  • @grethabekker1777
    @grethabekker1777 2 роки тому +7

    I am 75.years old, happily married, and I agree with what you say.

  • @NM-gy6tx
    @NM-gy6tx 2 роки тому +6

    I'll tell you someone who hasn't let themselves go... you! Lovely thick dark hair, nice tanned skin and muscles, kind honest features and a humorous tshirt that says "I'm intelligent but also can have a joke about myself too!" exuddddes confidence. It's a shame all men can't be more Jonathan Aslay! 🙂

  • @tammywilliams7153
    @tammywilliams7153 2 роки тому +11

    Only way to true intimacy is Honesty ❤❤❤❤❤

  • @joniangelsrreal6262
    @joniangelsrreal6262 Рік тому +1

    Sending love and light to all
    Be The Light in 2023
    21:30

  • @arty5818
    @arty5818 2 роки тому +4

    I have found what makes me happy is not be a winner of life games. Instead to make other people miss me or love me, I have tried to love myself unconditionally. I ask to myself every day, what I want to do or get something that makes me feel good then I try to give that to me. No one really knows what I want. Making me happy is not my husband, children, or friend's jobs. 100% my feelings and my responsibility to feel and understand them. When I know more about my feelings: what makes me happy or what makes me unhappy, then I can easily make myself happier by my own. At the result, people naturally like to be around me because I'm in peaceful feel good vibration.

  • @lisab8533
    @lisab8533 6 місяців тому +2

    Yes Jonathan I agree with you 100%! Great insight! And your view from your patio is really nice.👍🏼
    I agree be the person you want to meet! Your honesty and the way you present this information is great!

  • @LisaGemini
    @LisaGemini 2 роки тому +15

    Amen to all of this wisdom. Every single person, male or female, young or old, needs to watch this! I agree 100 percent.

  • @cherankimiorak1739
    @cherankimiorak1739 2 роки тому +9

    This setting is stunning in the background

  • @dalila1901
    @dalila1901 2 роки тому +10

    Thank you finally someone who gives advice without any games or manipulation! There is to
    Many coach out there that tells woman to act like princesses and men have to put the red carpet for them… why can’t we love ourself first and be an healthy, emotionally balance and respectful human! Thank you again 🙏

  • @Geotrist
    @Geotrist Рік тому +1

    Thanks again for these videos. Some complain that you repeat yourself too much, but I need it.

  • @pamsegers6571
    @pamsegers6571 Рік тому +8

    I totally agree with you! I believe in treating people the way you want to be treated. I don’t need a man to take care of me, and definitely don’t want someone for money. I was raised to be strong, kind, thoughtful, down-to-earth and with good values! Positive is a plus, I believe you can find a positive in anything or anyone…look for it! These are my opinions. Honesty and being real is so important! I put my jeans on just like everyone else, one leg at a time. I’m just ME!
    I really enjoyed your words of wisdom! Thank you! 😁always!

  • @angelarose249
    @angelarose249 2 роки тому +3

    I agree Johnathan. It seems like too many senseless mind games people want to play. I'm just honest with how I feel with someone I'm interested in.

  • @bethmcelwain9247
    @bethmcelwain9247 2 роки тому +46

    I always appreciate that you emphasize authenticity…really put off by those who want others to play games. If I had to play games to get someone to be into me, he’s just not the right guy and I wouldn’t be myself if I had to game a potential love. Thanks Jonathan for keeping ti real! Not into shallow

  • @ginagiambone.
    @ginagiambone. Рік тому +1

    Be myself? How absurd! ❣

  • @micheledoddkelton6598
    @micheledoddkelton6598 2 роки тому +6

    You are absolutely correct don’t be all up on the person but don’t ignore

  • @tugzsurf
    @tugzsurf 2 роки тому +1

    Every guy who felt the same way i did I never had to do any rules or play any games.
    The toxic ones or the ones afraid of commitment the cheaters and the players are the ones who these rules work with. And guess what you may land one but because they are people who don’t work on themselves they will cheat run or hurt you when the relationship gets real or tough or you have kids. The second you feel emotions or want to build on it they go silent… run. If you keep attracting these guys then it’s time to do your own work and heal your self so your vibration will change.
    Pick the guy who makes you feel loved and secure not the one who leaves you confused with anxiety. Trust me it doesn’t matter how good looking you are or your job or this or that. They fuck over everyone. It’s just a game of ego for them.
    Love ya all. Blessings!
    Finally a you tuber who speaks the truth!!!
    Thank you!

  • @paulaparkman5127
    @paulaparkman5127 2 роки тому +7

    He is telling me he misses me all the time! I think it's a great sign! 👍

  • @kathyfann
    @kathyfann Рік тому +1

    Absolutely we all need more grace and even mercy for one another.
    No one is perfect and we
    All must value each other and I want to be a helper to who ever God Gives me. I am not perfect I am not unique. I am just widowed for 3 years. I am not heavy or unhealthy. I am sure somewhere God has someone. I am not in debt. I am retired with California’s public retirement income. So I just a great friend and honest and dependable guy. I love Jesus I love to go to church I am a Chaplain

  • @heatherhail6975
    @heatherhail6975 2 роки тому +46

    yeah, that's hard when he ignores me . but my first experience was that he missed me in the beginning in particular when we had our first sex . i think he missed me bc that night i tried natural drops spanish fly and he wanted me to be like that always .

    • @EmilySmith-db1zn
      @EmilySmith-db1zn 2 роки тому +1

      yeah great video. i have never heard of these drops, it sounds kinda like a miracle. actually i'm really considering buying it for my husband since he's so bad in bed!

  • @JamieMestas
    @JamieMestas Рік тому +1

    I completely understand and agree. Well said Jonathan

  • @nancyanderson7422
    @nancyanderson7422 2 роки тому +5

    Johnathon, you are 100% right! It's about time someone spoke the real raw truth!

  • @RoseMoke
    @RoseMoke Рік тому +1

    Only beautiful heart 💖 take the opportunity not every person had same heart 💖 understand and forgiveness is matters

  • @jy26_0
    @jy26_0 2 роки тому +4

    Agree, always be true to yourself. Authenticity and a person who knows their worth is very attractive. Effective communication and being respectful towards each-others boundaries is so important. If they lose interest than it’s just not meant to be. Truth is we don’t have time to f*** around and a healthy individual won’t waste their time. Nobody’s prefect … happiness and healthy connections are driven by our choices. Thanks for your videos! Beautifully said!

  • @TheAttractionTriggers
    @TheAttractionTriggers Рік тому +2

    *Understanding how to create that sense of longing in a man is powerful. Let's embrace these techniques and keep the flame alive in our relationships.*

  • @andreaclasen1651
    @andreaclasen1651 2 роки тому +10

    Thank God, real talk, I love it! I'm 25 but this definitely is relevant for relationships of all ages. We all have a lot of work to do, myself included.

  • @celiaescalante
    @celiaescalante Рік тому +1

    Yes. I can't be easy to communicate with. Why else would I get blocked three or four times by the same person. It doesn't happen much, though. Usually, angry avoidants who like to play mind games.

  • @annarandhawa310
    @annarandhawa310 2 роки тому +16

    I loved your teaching methods specifically when you reminds us women to keep our feminine powers by not giving in to sex to men too soon and before a commitment is establish; I value and practice it ! Last it is true that the most important relationship is , the one you have with yourself ❤ Thank you for teaching with compassion & Love 💕🙏

  • @pattystephens5977
    @pattystephens5977 2 роки тому +2

    You are absolutely right Jonathan. Who wants to be with someone who lives in the past. Leave your baggage behind please. Live in today. Be positive, and none judge mental.

  • @katherineolson8426
    @katherineolson8426 Рік тому +10

    Thank you 🙏
    I wish I’d found you about 40 years ago. The roots of these relationship issues in my life are the exact things you describe. Your insights are clearly applicable to any kind of relationship- women friends, men friends …. Romantic or not ❤

  • @chrisshowering7357
    @chrisshowering7357 5 місяців тому +2

    I met a guy a long time ago after my divorce. I told him no sex for a year, he waited we don't want to commit but we're still happy we don't live together and that works for us.

  • @celestenova338
    @celestenova338 2 роки тому +11

    Great, watched this after a hurtful break up with someone I’m still very much in love with, this is making me so sad 💔 I really don’t want to be out here alone. I want my man back

    • @edithkojundic565
      @edithkojundic565 2 роки тому

      Me too. Same happened to me

    • @roseannlargana95
      @roseannlargana95 2 роки тому

      My feelings exactly 3 years ago l went on FB and met Army man l thought,after having strong feelings for him over a yr, he tells me he is fake l was so hurt stressed out ,all l did was cry and like yourself l don't want too be Alone either..
      Iam still trying and you should too

    • @dianaschoen4485
      @dianaschoen4485 2 роки тому

      Ditto!

  • @jennynaser6645
    @jennynaser6645 11 місяців тому +1

    You're so right! So much advice is manipulative! I'm done with games. Too old for that crap.

  • @annemann8218
    @annemann8218 2 роки тому +8

    Perfect love casts out all fear...that is the challenge behind all connections...fear of rejection being the main concern...I already place myself in the rejection zone...then if someone filters through it...then that might be worth examining...also...I would love to see the day when a woman can tell a man he is attractive and nice without them thinking that means you want something physical

  • @jburton6074
    @jburton6074 11 місяців тому +1

    I am 70 told I look in my early 60s I take care of my skin and body. I find older men very unattractive I usually date in late 50d and I prefer mid 60s. Yes looks do matter it’s always what you are first attracted to. I want a forever relationship but I do need one that chooses to care about themselves too.

  • @celiaescalante
    @celiaescalante 2 роки тому +4

    I agree. Better communication is better than just chasing away someone who you obviously want to be the same old loving person that's now playing hard to get.

  • @cherylgood934
    @cherylgood934 2 роки тому

    Hi Jonathan and this is Cheryl... I've listened to about four five of your podcasts or streaming whichever it is period period period and I want to say that you made a comment or you've made several comments about yourself and it was being honest about how you were in earlier relationships with women and then you preceded to say that was wrong and you shouldn't have done that and that you didn't like that about yourself and you changed and instead of that being a huge turn off it was surprisingly I felt a lot of respect for you saying Those things about yourself In an open forum and there's how many people listening you never know it in given time but the honesty was really refreshing and I just wanted to thank you for that. You didn't belabor the point you are a matter of fact about the whole thing and it was nice. I liked that about you

  • @CatherineInColorado
    @CatherineInColorado 2 роки тому +46

    It's always great to wake up on Sunday and listen to some great words of wisdom from you Jonathon! I love the shirt too. 💜

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  2 роки тому +3

      Love that!

    • @hassanaaliyu698
      @hassanaaliyu698 2 роки тому

      @@ulomagift504 *He helped me not quite long and I got my lover who left me over three years ago within 35 hour's*

    • @jadegreen1554
      @jadegreen1554 2 роки тому +1

      @@rawr7230 don’t understand all the spam bots all over UA-cam atm :/

    • @rawr7230
      @rawr7230 2 роки тому

      @@jadegreen1554 ohhh you notice them too!? Right....how very ODD!

  • @dianethompson6804
    @dianethompson6804 11 місяців тому +2

    My best friend says that i think every man has a hatchet in his back pocket! I say, you never know!!!

  • @dani58301
    @dani58301 2 роки тому +8

    I simply LOVE all of your suggestions, grimaces, and mostly your genuine comments. A big hug to you dear Jonathon. A fellow Leo :)

  • @silvia22d
    @silvia22d Рік тому

    Express mutual appreciation with one another. (physically, mentally and emotionally) by:
    1. Good communication skills and good conflict resolution skills.
    2. You need a level of patience and understanding.
    (more compassion and empathy instead of judgements and lack of tolerance)
    3. Be genuinely agreeable not complaining and disagreeable!
    4. Be fun, outgoing and spontaneous!
    5. Have a healthy body, mind and attractive appearance even if you're getting old.
    6. Financially act together.
    7. Have indepedent energy not depedent energy because you are in charge of your destiny, not the guy.(the most important)
    Thank you, Jonathan!

  • @mariankeller5852
    @mariankeller5852 2 роки тому +2

    You cannot not MAKE anyone do anything..either they miss you..or they don't....if they don't its their loss..learn to be alone and like your own company..when you stop looking is when you find someone...

  • @karenbianco1084
    @karenbianco1084 2 роки тому +2

    Great, informative video! I've read several books that were all about manipulation an games, as a means to "Get a Man". I finished them with the thought, that if I have to play games to get a man, then he's not the man for me anyway! You truly give me hope!

  • @kristinej.4182
    @kristinej.4182 Рік тому +3

    Great video, Jonathon! I would say it’s one of your better ones! You resonated with me when you said love was about having the attraction but also having that deep level of appreciation for one another. I feel like many people put so much emphasis on chemistry and connection but we shouldn’t neglect the importance of being appreciative of who the other person is and what they mean to us.
    My BF sometimes says “I appreciate you” instead of “I love you” but now after watching your video, I realize that those words mean a lot, too.
    Thank you for your wise words as always! 👍🏻

  • @Diabeteslovewithdee
    @Diabeteslovewithdee Рік тому +2

    Jonathon, great advice! Be real and love yourself first. Thank you!

  • @debwilliams8144
    @debwilliams8144 Рік тому +4

    I love listening to you. I’ve had the same thoughts about so much of the advice available online. There is a lot of manipulation that is promoted to try and get a guy to commit. I don’t want a relationship based on that. I want a partner and true happiness. I’ve dated a lot, and I’m still looking. What a pain in the butt to find someone emotionally healthy.

  • @agnieszkapacek8281
    @agnieszkapacek8281 2 роки тому +2

    I totally agree. Very true. By playing games, pretending and appearances you'll get the same in return: games, pretending and appearances.
    It's so logical and yet so many people follow that path and don't get what they do wrong.

  • @averagejane09
    @averagejane09 2 роки тому +5

    Terms and topics that gave me an ah ha moment: Victim consciousness; better communication vs the validation need for communication; people in healthy relationships shortly after dating start to spend 2-4 days a week doing stuff together; unhealthy human beings will chase; advice that works on emotionally unhealthy people; ladies, we want the growers and the builders, not the users and the spenders; there is very little trust built in the dating process today because we are meeting virtual strangers; he can infer he wants a relationship when he is not even capable of being in a relationship; ...dysfunctional in their relationship skills and emotional maturity; experience mutual appreciation with one another; emotional maturity is so hugely important!!!; good communication skills and good conflict resolution skills; a level of patience and understanding; generally agreeable vs complaining or disagreeable; the victim culture that is going on today is ruining society...people spend more time complaining; every time you write it down in a comment you are reliving it...you are stuck in a trauma loop and nobody is attracted to someone who is stuck in a trauma loop; be fun, outgoing and spontaneous; you are no princess, you are no queen, don't make yourself out to be better; have a healthy body, a healthy mind and an attractive appearance; financially have their act together; independent energy vs dependent energy...you are in charge of your relationship destiny, not the guy - this is attractive to HEALTHY men; love yourself and you are on your way to finding a man who will love you...genuinely....and you don't need to make him miss you to spend time with you. THANK YOU JONATHON.

  • @joniangelsrreal6262
    @joniangelsrreal6262 Рік тому +1

    DO YOU… Married 44 years not easy but rewarding …Keep yourself up…Be Independent …

  • @janinemillirons2927
    @janinemillirons2927 2 роки тому +4

    Hi Jonathon, I am an avid listener of your channel. I got the CD's on NVC by Rosenberg yesterday and have listened to the first hour. I am genuinely excited to keep listening as it has captured me already. Thank you for the recommendation. I've also ordered the book. In addition, due to your encouragement, I have started counseling. I didn't realize how much I needed it. Thank you for all you do. Sending a big hug to you!🤗

  • @mahaliahoyte6038
    @mahaliahoyte6038 6 місяців тому +2

    They are into you until someone who to them can offer more, turns up.

  • @ludmilamigova3171
    @ludmilamigova3171 Рік тому +5

    I almost always agree 100% what you say so do I this time also.Thank you for reminding us again and again , what a good relationship should be.

  • @lilliantabu7948
    @lilliantabu7948 Рік тому +1

    I really feel I could hug you Jonathan, but one day God can do the miracle.. I so much appreciate you for your timely words of direction..I am so happy that I am going good direction and my mum taught me well and today I am practising it ...I am a black lady on dating site with a white gentle man who always asks me on my daily routine and I have been honestly telling him my daily activities as person...oh this has made him miss me every second..I pray we shall meet in person with him..thanks so much, I will continue to be outstanding and responsible lady even if I will marry him..😍😘hug from Ugandan to you Jona

  • @kimberlyfadim1703
    @kimberlyfadim1703 2 роки тому +4

    Loved my phone consult with ya Jon. I think we are a hell of a lot alike in many ways. Always good to meet people that are a part of your SOUL TRIBE.

  • @lorijessup7272
    @lorijessup7272 8 місяців тому +1

    I enjoyed you! I’m dating and 68. Great tips

  • @honey23b2
    @honey23b2 2 роки тому +4

    You really have helped me. I’m still single. Lol. But , I am aware more because of you. Trust is an huge Issue for me. I understand the challenges and accountability. Therefore being single is ok for me 3.7 years is ok.

  • @julesmeyeri2056
    @julesmeyeri2056 2 роки тому +1

    Be your whole true self and then the right person knows what U want with and they will probably surprise U in so many wonderful ways ...don't apologise when U drop your guard and expose your feelings and give them enough credit when they handle your shortcomings and be prepared that U may be underestimating other people unless U become more expansive on expecting more from yourself as well

  • @Lynzie52
    @Lynzie52 2 роки тому +5

    Another great video. You have help to validate what I’ve been doing in my new relationship with a man I met online. Open honest conversation without playing mind games. I’m to old to play games that just lead to a predictable facing the truth down the line. I want my person to know me from the beginning and decide if I’m who they want and not waste time trying to be someone I think they want. Anyway, I love your shirt! We wouldn’t want you to act normal, what ever that is😂 Keep being your honest funny self!

  • @sunnysmiles8211
    @sunnysmiles8211 Рік тому +1

    You are spot on about community and tribal accountability!! As a psychology/sociology major I completely agree!! Our social patterns have been GREATLY compromised!!! As the strength of the family has suffered, so have our family and relationship values and accountability which makes behaviors more reckless

  • @sheripeterson2298
    @sheripeterson2298 2 роки тому +6

    Wow Jonathan.... I listen twice to this topic.... You opened my eyes to many things.... I'm in my sixties I'm proud of who I am... And I definitely can take care of myself.... I was married for 38 years lost my husband to aneurysm.... After 6 years I decided to maybe look into dating..... Oh dear... It did change. I was told that let's be friends with benefits I didn't even know how to process that.... I tried dating sites I just kept getting scammed so I stopped that... I hang around the meat market maybe thinking I might meet a man around a t-bone steak nope didn't happen lol. Then I thought to myself well maybe I should hang around where the beer is.... Nope it didn't I love people and love listening to people and their thoughts.... I have dated ,I've enjoyed my dates. I'm not afraid to be alone I've been doing it for a while. I like listening to you. Never stop learning and taking advice. Also I noticed the background where you live... I have palm trees and water too. Thank you Jonathan.

  • @Joshualuv13
    @Joshualuv13 2 роки тому +2

    Omg 😳 Finally U have helped me complete the break through of the fact that I have been dependent on all men to approve and love me for self love and approval.no more !

  • @TheBestOfLisaRenee
    @TheBestOfLisaRenee 2 роки тому +6

    I agree with all that you’ve said and have thought these same thoughts. Courtship is a far better approach, which is generally a forgotten approach to love and marriage, for the most part. I did not date for 6 years in order to heal from a love story, when I met someone just recently. We kissed probably before I was truly ready and the kiss went very well (better than I’ve experience before), but in a nonaggressive way he ultimately wanted more and I cannot give that outside of marriage. I pushed him away for several reasons and I have evaluated where I went wrong in the way I handled our relationship. I did not communicate properly with him and I should have waited and prayed about it first. I’m struggling to forgive myself for errors I’ve made. I really had strong feelings for him rather quickly and loathe this struggle I must go through to forget that this ever happened. I have little peace right now, and he has not afforded me the kind of closure that would help me in gaining that peace I need, but perhaps this is my own doing. I pray I’ve learned from this experience, but will be far more cautious before entering into another romantic relationship. 🙏🏼 I feel very raw right now. I believe in accountability. It’s the only way we can grow and growth is part of our life’s journey. It is imperative.

    • @spirithawk9630
      @spirithawk9630 2 роки тому

      I agree to the traditional courtship concepts for finding your life partner. I don't agree with the concept that leaves "a back door open" as a way to "escape" if things go wrong.

  • @pamelaroberson5386
    @pamelaroberson5386 2 роки тому +7

    I like being single for the simple fact it's peaceful..I don't have to deal with what the other person is doing..
    I can come and go . enjoy my family and friends...
    Date different guys..date only no sex ...it interferes with growing together... learning about each other...no pressure..
    We are free to come and go
    I miss companionship ...but I replace it with a simple chat with a guy who offers a great conversation... I'm good
    Women like men they can talk to ...
    It's not about sex do a woman who really wants a relationship..
    I had a thirty years marriage till death parted us...
    If God gives it to me again awesome..if not fine...
    This is too much drama ...I'll start happy single...

  • @sharlonmays6102
    @sharlonmays6102 2 роки тому +2

    I totally agree with all you said. Keep being human. Thanks for sharing your story. We all have one that includes both successes and failures.

  • @krixttysimon2705
    @krixttysimon2705 2 роки тому +3

    I’m 26, but I agree with everything you said. Nice advice. ❤️ from 🇳🇬

  • @brandymeidl7126
    @brandymeidl7126 2 роки тому +3

    Jonathan, thank you for calling this out. When I heard you reading the talking points from the other creator, I heard "games, games, games". Agreed.
    No one has time for that nonsense. Then the solutions. 👍
    💞 Sending love to all

  • @marthashurtz2455
    @marthashurtz2455 2 роки тому

    Thanks!

  • @theresaconley5930
    @theresaconley5930 2 роки тому +16

    You are right on! I agree with what you've said. If a person is trying to make someone miss them by expecting a chase or using ghosting tactics, etc., is childish, and may be considered narcissistic. That type of activity suggests a need for personal work and correcting these issues. It'd be great if it would be completed before dating and dragging someone else into their drama.

  • @mahaliahoyte6038
    @mahaliahoyte6038 6 місяців тому +1

    Liking should flow naturally.

  • @sagedakotalmft7763
    @sagedakotalmft7763 2 роки тому +6

    Makes so much sense! You called me out on letting go of the negative loop from past relationship trauma. Definitely getting stuck in that one at times!
    I love your down-to-Earth videos with you just sitting at home by the water with your cup of coffee.
    The part about growers, payers, etc., was very enlightening!
    Thank you for another great video!

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  2 роки тому +3

      This coming from an LMFT, I'm honored 🙏

  • @marjorienalunkuma6025
    @marjorienalunkuma6025 2 роки тому

    At least finally I get to watch someone who's talking reality my dad always says BE YOURSELF

  • @patriciagomez8035
    @patriciagomez8035 2 роки тому +8

    I’m really glad this video took a turn for a minute there I was sick. I totally agree with you Jonathan glad I continued to watch. Good information I’m not big on games or manipulation. I believe in a healthy relationship and I do believe it starts with appreciation.

  • @chanichanti4241
    @chanichanti4241 2 роки тому +2

    Jonathan, you are the best relationship coach. Real and no games...no crazy method. None of them worked. I m gonna get all the books you suggests. Im done with relationships but for my kids

  • @lesliec65
    @lesliec65 2 роки тому +3

    you are very practical and have great insight. I think learning about my core wounds and attachment style as well as other attachment styles has helped me be more understanding of why I have drawn unavailable men and realizing they aren't bad people. we are all working it out and it can be painful growing thru the experiences. anyway I've listened to two of your videos now and find it very refreshing and on point.

  • @kwendalinrani2215
    @kwendalinrani2215 10 місяців тому +1

    Thank you, it is really valuable

  • @vivianl
    @vivianl 2 роки тому +4

    I agree with you.Love your shirt. My dad would warn my dates that he couldn't pull that their car broke down, because I knew how to fix it. And would fill up his car, as well as putting my tool box in the back seat. I was always home on time. 😂

  • @marryannebuttigieg6760
    @marryannebuttigieg6760 Рік тому +2

    Yes I agree with you Jonathan! Communication is key.😊

  • @janep1968
    @janep1968 2 роки тому +3

    Love the new angle. I've been wanting to see your view

  • @noname-jh3bd
    @noname-jh3bd Рік тому

    TRAUMA LOOP.... oh boy, does that hit home. Those two words made me stop what I was doing

  • @paulaparkman5127
    @paulaparkman5127 2 роки тому +4

    But we are who we are through our experiences, even if it's trauma. Don't dwell on it, but you should be able to share your experience with someone you care about, because after all, it helped to shape who you are... 😉 😊

  • @dawnharrison7232
    @dawnharrison7232 5 місяців тому

    I had a breakup few weeks ago. You Jonathon have actually made me laugh. You are so spot on

  • @shelleyoconnor1609
    @shelleyoconnor1609 2 роки тому +6

    Thank you Jonathan for always making me laugh and for being real!!

  • @angelarainey7258
    @angelarainey7258 Рік тому

    I believe - that although you respond to different people differently - you should always be yourself. If you behave otherwise it's a mask that cannot be maintained and youre on a hiding to nothing because they never get to like, or know, the person you are - they only ever get to know what you give them because that's what they see!

  • @BadenLaura
    @BadenLaura 2 роки тому +4

    I agree completely. Thank you and love you!