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Why Do Narcissists fall Asleep so Easily after a Fight?

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  • Опубліковано 27 лют 2023
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 384

  • @iusedyourtowel6765
    @iusedyourtowel6765 5 місяців тому +24

    "For the wicked cannot sleep unless they do evil; And they are deprived of sleep unless they make someone stumble and fall." Proverbs 4:16

    • @danielapel1976
      @danielapel1976 4 місяці тому +4

      Thats a awesome quote from the bible.

  • @dsmusicbird
    @dsmusicbird Рік тому +65

    You can be crying, balling, devastated, frustrated as all hell, and they can curl up and sleep right next to you, while you lose sleep and sanity.

    • @kamicrum4408
      @kamicrum4408 Рік тому +3

      That just makes them happy!

    • @cassiebennet4262
      @cassiebennet4262 Рік тому +2

      I've dealt with this countless times.

    • @serenity1047
      @serenity1047 9 місяців тому +2

      facts story of my life and he suffers from sleep apnea i sometimes feel like waking him up with five fingers across his face lol .

    • @serenity1047
      @serenity1047 9 місяців тому

      evil $hit

  • @blackwaldorf
    @blackwaldorf Рік тому +104

    Also amazing how they sleep for hours to punish you. Amazing how they have amazing sleep patterns and always up for a nap. While us are there without sleep for years...

    • @AlwaysHope2019
      @AlwaysHope2019 Рік тому +6

      Mine would nap at work and Brag about it while we were in a heavy disagreement. Instead of spending time with me on the phone, working things out.
      No conscience

    • @ladyluck5248
      @ladyluck5248 Рік тому +9

      I think they have sleep apnea.

    • @user-kx6tw3fo1e
      @user-kx6tw3fo1e Рік тому +2

      Omg this!
      Yes, sleep apnea in my experience. Actually does……

    • @fluffypiranha77
      @fluffypiranha77 Рік тому +2

      Hours?! My ex would sleep one to two days and then bitch about her insomnia. Wtf?!

    • @rkl3692
      @rkl3692 Рік тому +4

      Yes, amazing stamina for looooong sleeps. Though it never occurred to me that it was to punish me. I just thought he was super lazy!

  • @Ellie-rp8bh
    @Ellie-rp8bh Рік тому +89

    36 years of that torture! I’m out and no contact for 6 years! Sweet Freedom!

    • @heyoldman2003
      @heyoldman2003 Рік тому +12

      good for your. i served 40 years 😔 we need a club for us long term victims( i hate that word but it fits so well) be strong, we made it out 👍🏼

    • @somerskye2750
      @somerskye2750 Рік тому +1

      Same- 33 yrs 9 months.

    • @ExtremeSurvivor_1
      @ExtremeSurvivor_1 Рік тому

      @@somerskye2750 The longest night of Hell. I'll be so glad when it's over. 30 years is long enough 😪

    • @shobhanamathew9551
      @shobhanamathew9551 11 місяців тому +2

      For me those 38 yrs of my marriage were real nightmares😢😢

    • @meliahr
      @meliahr 11 місяців тому +2

      pray for me 18 years ... struggling wana get out oc this mess

  • @ExtremeSurvivor_1
    @ExtremeSurvivor_1 Рік тому +177

    It's gross how he sleeps so well after destroying me yet again

    • @AlwaysHope2019
      @AlwaysHope2019 Рік тому +20

      Mine would ask me if I wanted some “lovin” meaning sex afterwards .
      Made me feel even worse and confused

    • @AlwaysHope2019
      @AlwaysHope2019 Рік тому +22

      Gross is a perfect word for it

    • @dsmusicbird
      @dsmusicbird Рік тому +9

      Very disturbing indeed 😢🤬

    • @dsoule4902
      @dsoule4902 Рік тому +7

      Sure he gets off on it. Very gratifying ... they're freaks

    • @ExtremeSurvivor_1
      @ExtremeSurvivor_1 Рік тому +5

      @@AlwaysHope2019 🤗 Hi Hope, Thank You for the reply. It really is the perfect word for pretty much everything about these freaks. Mine is 72 and goes after EXTREEEEEMLY YOUNG "women", (let's say). Gross isn't the word for THAT though.. I can't say here what I'd like to. Have a Beautiful Life for a Beautiful Girl🤩

  • @sahdogwrangler5594
    @sahdogwrangler5594 Рік тому +96

    I'd wish I'd seen this 20 years ago when NOBODY was talking about it. I had no idea that this was a pattern of behavior & was completely baffled. I remember lying awake crying while he slept snoring away beside me many times, confused how he could say he loved me but didn't care how upset I was or accuse me of crying to manipulate him when he'd said such awful, upsetting things to me.
    It still happens, usually when I'm leaving or he's leaving, he starts a fight. Not quite the same thing but very similar. The other night after an angry tirade about a petty issue he had with me, I just watched as it snowballed & his anger built up & he brought up other things he doesn't like about me & calling me lazy & stupid, etc. Then I realized that I serve as his emotional trash can. Knowing this helps me not to allow his anger to consume me. One thing that really stands out to me that you said was, the purpose of a so called "fight" is NOT to resolve issues. I need to remember that. I thought about later & it came to me that he could have just asked me to do something differently. He had never mentioned this particular thing as being a problem for him before. I really didn't know.
    Now I see why he didn't. It wasn't about that at all.

    • @aali-in6lc
      @aali-in6lc Рік тому

      Please leave him he will suck the life out of you. Do it NOW

    • @rubberbiscuit99
      @rubberbiscuit99 Рік тому

      You deserve better than being that fool's emotional trash can. I hope you walk out.

    • @blancamiranda778
      @blancamiranda778 Рік тому +5

      TRUTH💯

    • @cassiebennet4262
      @cassiebennet4262 Рік тому +6

      That's what's so frustrating for the victim in these relationships is the victim is genuinely trying to seek a solution to the problem. The narc just wants an argument to regulate their emotions because it's the only way they know how. I started to realize this when my husband would start a fight about something incredibly petty that he never complained about before. He was just feeling angry and miserable and needed me to get upset so he could feel relief. Now I'm upset and dysregulated and he's totally calm.

    • @user-to1mk2um3h
      @user-to1mk2um3h 10 місяців тому +1

      Exactly a Narcissistic Pattern of Behavior : All Over the World 🌎 Not just in Our home or Our Secret Life. Less People in Our World 🌎 Committed Suicide 😢 😫 💔 in the Past if they knew about Narcissistic Patterns. You cannot Seek Solution with a Narcissist, just Leave, Escape and always Be Far Away from the Narcissists. Efrat

  • @smustipher
    @smustipher Рік тому +12

    They are able to fall asleep because their mission for the day - to ruin yours- is accomplished.

  • @mayk89
    @mayk89 Рік тому +10

    So many nights spent like that; "staring into the abyss hoping to fall asleep".

  • @mayk89
    @mayk89 Рік тому +109

    Thankfully I WAS writing in my journal all throughout the relationship. I have so many descriptions of him falling asleep next to me completely insensitive to my torment, after his tantrums. I was keeping these notes before knowing about narcissism. Those notes, along with online education videos like this one, literally saved my life.

    • @mtc-j9i
      @mtc-j9i Рік тому +14

      A journal helps check the gaslighting. I can relate!

    • @aqdassyed6572
      @aqdassyed6572 Рік тому +5

      Hey can you share so that I could find words and sentences to describe and link

    • @HealedChakras777
      @HealedChakras777 Рік тому +5

      I did the same. Reading over my notes post no contact and watching all these narc videos make me feel so seen

    • @ExtremeSurvivor_1
      @ExtremeSurvivor_1 Рік тому +3

      @@aqdassyed6572 Here is a PLAYLIST FILLED with horrible descriptions and ways of understanding what has happened. My Playlist.. VERY LONG, lots of choices.
      ua-cam.com/play/PLmQr1Jd2X7UL_1IZwrCW7zFzirjD3lsjc.html
      Good Luck Friend

    • @JAYNEmM1962
      @JAYNEmM1962 Рік тому

      Me too

  • @heatherlynn3438
    @heatherlynn3438 Рік тому +16

    Listening to this helps us to see why going no contact is the perfect “Revenge”. Just do nothing! Be a 👻 Just getting off their energy field STOPS 🛑 it! Picture them sitting in their baby poopy diapers! 💩 Detox the spew and never return to the vomit! 🤮

  • @tochi199
    @tochi199 Рік тому +13

    You are very correct. It is almost like sucking your energy gives them a good sleep. However, if you ignore them. They dont sleep well

  • @lindamoore9729
    @lindamoore9729 Рік тому +38

    Oh, my goodness, that is spot on. My narcissist does that and I finally clued in. I never could understand why. Why does he not care he has upset me, insulted me, hurt me, disgusted me and then after a stupid and pointless argument, he's asleep within seconds. Sometimes even as I am standing there defending myself, his eyes are drooping in sleep. What a shitty way to act towards someone. You have that spot-on right!! Thanks for another great video.

    • @gracebe235
      @gracebe235 Рік тому +1

      @Linda Moore…..I know a Linda Moore, that was my Avon Lady once upon a time, and then she moved to Yuma, AZ. Are you that Linda Moore?

    • @lindamoore9729
      @lindamoore9729 Рік тому +1

      @@gracebe235 Nope. I'm Canadian.

    • @sarthak3001
      @sarthak3001 Рік тому +3

      Yes, it's a shitty way indeed, but what I believe is they can't control this behaviour. Their brain is wired this way. Is it really thier fault ? I am not sure many of the times.

  • @basantidevi8185
    @basantidevi8185 Рік тому +69

    Thank you Danish for your explanation. This question bothered me for nearly forty years. I was trapped in a very toxic and totally dysfunctional marriage for twenty years. However, I regained my freedom twenty years ago from the cluches of my demonic ex husband. I have extensively read on narcissism but nowhere did I get the answer to the question how on earth could this evil man fall asleep soon after a nasty fight initiated by him. It did not happen once or twice: it happened umpteen times. I suffered hundreds of sleepless nights in those twenty years. Now I got the answer. Thank you once again.

    • @heyoldman2003
      @heyoldman2003 Рік тому +5

      Amen 👍🏼

    • @rkl3692
      @rkl3692 Рік тому +9

      Same here. Suffered from insomnia for twenty years. Now separated and recovering.

    • @tobascoheat6582
      @tobascoheat6582 Рік тому +7

      I'm so sorry! I totally understand. I've been there myself. A wretched 23 year marriage! We were divorced 7 years ago, but I'm still not free. I thank God that I'm finally finding answers here through Danish. Be well, dear lady.

    • @basantidevi8185
      @basantidevi8185 Рік тому

      @@tobascoheat6582 Thank you very much for your wishes

  • @tobascoheat6582
    @tobascoheat6582 Рік тому +23

    This is SPOT ON!!! That S.O.B. loved nothing better than starting something right before bed. He'd go get in bed and fall right to sleep and SNORE (NO put on), while I was still so upset I could feel my heart and guts shaking! I was on prescription anxiety medication and prescription sleep medication and I always needed it, just to fall asleep!! I used to wonder how he could do that. Now I know. Thank you, Danish! God bless you! ♥️👍

  • @fluffypiranha77
    @fluffypiranha77 Рік тому +29

    I thought this was just a horrible trait of my ex. She was diagnosed NPD. “Wondering what the hell just happened.” Exactly!
    I watch lots of channels about NPD and this is my favorite.

  • @angelakeely5859
    @angelakeely5859 Рік тому +21

    My ex Narc was like that, fall asleep at the drop of a hat, you could be having a conversation then you notice they have fallen asleep, it's ironic really, you are not allowed disturb them when they fall asleep at the drop of a hat,but they have no problem disturbing your sleep whenever they feel like it,it's unreal their attitude.😈

  • @gwenjohn8673
    @gwenjohn8673 Рік тому +6

    Also they deny they are sleeping, even when you hear them snoring.

  • @heyoldman2003
    @heyoldman2003 Рік тому +14

    me too . after a ugly , intense fight , she sleeps like a baby and i was left decompressing for a couple of hours . pounding heart ect. so glad i know now what i was dealing with . you younger folks , listen to this man . he knows his stuff and can save you years of pain . i so wish i had this information 40 years ago ….Oh Life 🤷🏼‍♂️

  • @ladyluck5248
    @ladyluck5248 Рік тому +58

    Yes. Their body gets filled up with venom. The last time my vulnerable covert narcissist spewed his venom at me was the LAST time he does this to me. I swear I have never looked Satan in the face but seeing him the other day but that was the closest thing to it on earth. Thanks Danish. You really know how to explain this so that I NEVER go contact again. I am working on the brain damage and the HURT. I hate him. My own father. Such a jerk. And yes he can fall asleep on a dime. Total nut job.

    • @papatyaa00
      @papatyaa00 Рік тому

      Merhabalar siz tecrübelisiniz sanırım. Narsist terk ettikten sonra geri dönüyor mu?

    • @aqdassyed6572
      @aqdassyed6572 Рік тому +3

      Can you tell me the sensation i can sens the current and sudden drop in my blood pressure around her , my sister, and grin with the current which stifens the body as if you're muscles are tightened and the whole battery and energy runs out depleted suddenly and you self esteem has been chipped off immediately

    • @jennifermarie802
      @jennifermarie802 Рік тому +3

      I wish you a future of peace and pure love.

    • @ladyluck5248
      @ladyluck5248 Рік тому

      @@aqdassyed6572 you feel like you’ve been kicked In the stomach. I get it.

    • @newandoldtech5634
      @newandoldtech5634 Рік тому

      Maybe you could benefit from Denzo mos channel?

  • @geniagoltz8048
    @geniagoltz8048 Рік тому +36

    THIS is the best explanation I have heard! I never understood how my husband was always saying he’s going to sleep after he abused my son and I. THIS hit home! He let all his crap out on us and then it relieved him! It didn’t matter what the trigger was and it 99% of the time had nothing to do with us! Lightbulb moment for me to understand how and why he does this! Well, too late. #divorcefiled
    Btw…I am using your “energy vampire” analogy! Freaking accurate! No wonder I feel like a walking zombie!

  • @LTZ_Z71
    @LTZ_Z71 Рік тому +18

    Definitely experienced this. My crazy wife can RAGE like a lunatic and turn over and go right to sleep in less than 5 minutes.

  • @shipratiwari2735
    @shipratiwari2735 Рік тому +21

    Yes..yes...yes....you are absolutely right Danish. My husband has the same traits and after yelling, calling names, hitting and punching us, and breaking expensive things in the house and terrorising me and my two children....he instantly falls asleep with lots of loud snoaring....as if nothing happened. I feel like either killing him while he is asleep or running out of the house to some safe place. Several times I felt like terminating this 19 yrs. long marriage of mine. My children are suffering the most with this devil. He crates a huge drama without any valid reason 99 percent of the times...and the entire neighbourhood listens that. It's really very degrading and insulting for me and the kids.

    • @jillhudgins3210
      @jillhudgins3210 Рік тому +7

      Get out!

    • @gracebe235
      @gracebe235 Рік тому +1

      @@jillhudgins3210….DON’T do anything to him! LEAVE! CALL A DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE! Get help for your children and yourself! He is not worth you losing your freedom and being in your children’s lives, by you going to prison! The only time a person has the right to do such a thing, is in total self defense….as in, he is trying to kill you. Do NOT entertain such thoughts. GET OUT! There are agencies and places that can help. Google them.

    • @Merbella
      @Merbella Рік тому +1

      He hits your kids and you stay? Sorry but this is so sad. Please get help. You and your kids deserve it.

    • @devih9134
      @devih9134 9 місяців тому

      I pray you’re safe and sound now, love ♥️

  • @Miu_Nisht
    @Miu_Nisht Рік тому +12

    They see themselves as the victors of the battle, the winners of the jackpot at your expense , so they sleep peacefully like a baby after all they've had their fill , they swallowed you whole , body , mind and soul , like pythons they can sleep after a huge meal

  • @donnabeckner2389
    @donnabeckner2389 Рік тому +9

    Yes all the time

  • @janicemurphy4373
    @janicemurphy4373 Рік тому +13

    You are so right, and on point, this happened to me many times, other times I would get the silent treatment, one night I could not take it, he treated me so badly and when he was done he rolled over and was going to sleep and I rolled over on top of him and I started from his head down scratching him as vigorously as I could and of course I was the crazy one but he was not going to tell the truth!!!!!!! I suffered so much from that marriage and am so glad to be out!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so very very much Danish, you are so precise and detailed so honest and I appreciate, your experience, they are a tribe of DEMONS and will not change and don’t care about what they say to you or how they treat you how they lie against you or how they try to manipulate you or triangulate you or gaslight you or give you the silent treatment, it is all about them and only them, I draw comfort from the fact that we all reap what we sow and one day he will reap and karma will be his life long friend!!!!!. I am so much more happier now, I know he knew what he was doing to me but that’s okay, Almighty God know too.

  • @sageintraining444
    @sageintraining444 Рік тому +26

    This has happened to me plenty of times in my last relationship, I have schizophrenia and being in this relationship has broken me completely. I’m out of it now but I’m still trying to put my life back together, I appreciate this channel very much and it’s given me a lot of clarity about this relationship. I hope everyone who has suffered narcissistic abuse heals and I hope everyone here finds the love they need, let the healing begin.
    (Sorry for the sporadic comment 😕)

    • @sageintraining444
      @sageintraining444 Рік тому +2

      @@jbrown2908 Thank you 🙏🏼👑

    • @paulamoogan8499
      @paulamoogan8499 Рік тому +1

      Congratulations fir being so strong to have got away even though you are dealing with your own mental health… you are a super hero in my eyes , I do not have schizophrenia but I can’t find the energy or courage to leave so hands up to you and much respect… we’re you financially stable when you left … that’s one of my biggest concerns

    • @sageintraining444
      @sageintraining444 Рік тому +1

      @@paulamoogan8499 thank you for your thoughtful compliments and to answer your question, I was not financially stable when I left but I was lucky enough to have family to stay with until I got back on my feet. All I can say is save money here and there then get out as soon as you can, no one deserves abuse of any kind. Please stay safe and take good care of yourself 🫶🏼

  • @CashNet72
    @CashNet72 Рік тому +6

    So many journal entries, so many long nights, tossing and turning and unable to sleep. I always wondered how the heck my ex could fall out like I wasn't laying next to them, destroyed. I used to be so sad that they discarded me. Now I know that being away from them is the best thing that happened to me since we met.

  • @nursepj6036
    @nursepj6036 Рік тому +6

    Absolutely NOTHING gets in the way of my covert narcissistic husband's sleep!! It doesn't matter what he has just said or done to me or our son!! There have been numerous times our son would leave and be gone all night after being abused by his father, and my husband would simply go to bed and go to sleep while I would frantically try to find our son and try to repair the damage that had been done!! I was so hurt and so confused that he could just sleep like everything was fine!! My son struggles with anxiety and depression and I blame myself!! Until I was educated on narcissistic abuse, I could not understand why I stayed in this marriage and why I didn't get my son out of that abusive situation! :(

  • @tedwilburn516
    @tedwilburn516 Рік тому +17

    I have experienced this same phenomena numerous time over the years with my wife. She not only exhibits this characteristic, but every characteristic of a Narc that I could find in my research. But her falling asleep after starting a huge argument over absolutely nothing, left me absolutely confused as to what the hell just happened...no resolution! And yes, the next morning would be like nothing ever happened, and if I brought up the subject, she would just gaslight me. I never backed down because I will battle it out every time, and expend a lot of energy doing so. I would be awake for hours, while she would fall asleep almost immediately. I wanted to throw a pillow at her and wake her up (which may or may not have happened once or three times). Suffice it to say we have been separated over a year and divorce is on the way. I have my senses back.

    • @Ms.A422
      @Ms.A422 Рік тому +3

      Thank God she is crazy. You did the right thing.

  • @dawnieholland8368
    @dawnieholland8368 Рік тому +7

    They've no conscience that's why.

  • @sandrakrahn6163
    @sandrakrahn6163 Рік тому +9

    Wow, that’s my life!

  • @lettiedewinnaar3480
    @lettiedewinnaar3480 Рік тому +14

    Absolutely true . Dont fight back with them.Turn around and walk away .The are selfish attention seekers . They dont know empathy and dont even know how to love another person Because its all about themself ..

  • @davidsutliff8312
    @davidsutliff8312 Рік тому +4

    I noticed all the same things apply when it comes to eating also. The narc would pick a fight with me in front of everyone, do all the narcissistic toxic argument tactics, and then just go right to dinner and sit there and eat as if nothing was wrong.. I used to think to myself how in the world is this possible? My stomach is in knots and I am just shattered right now, and this person is completely unscathed. Thank you for the explanation!

  • @mariageorge-grady9547
    @mariageorge-grady9547 Рік тому +6

    I don't know how they can live with themselves. Evil people.

  • @anju7315
    @anju7315 Рік тому +5

    Totally what I experienced. I wish I’d known about narcissism before it completely destroyed me. Thankful for the woman who took him out of my life after 15 years of going through hell with him. If she wasn’t so toxic herself, I’d feel sorry for her, but I guess they both got what they deserve in each other.
    I hope I'll be able to fully forgive and forget one day. 🙏

  • @ladyloungealot5119
    @ladyloungealot5119 Рік тому +6

    When I was a child my mother used me as a punching bag. Father would not interfere as she tormented me for hours (and would tell his golden daughter to stay away) as I was subjected to verbal and psychological abuse, and the trigger (not reason - there was no reason) was that maybe in the class of over 30 kids I was that day second best. not the first best. When mother was done and happy, she would order me to go to bed and sleep. Hours later, she would walk past my bed and although I pretended as much as I could, she saw I wasn't asleep. "Sleep! Now! I am telling you to sleep!" she hissed. I still suffer from insomnia.

  • @magdalenamilosz5700
    @magdalenamilosz5700 Рік тому +6

    Spot on! 100%

  • @hope-nz6zb
    @hope-nz6zb Рік тому +3

    They are so sick. Before meeting my narc, I would never have believed there are such bad people outside in the world.

  • @angelakeely5859
    @angelakeely5859 Рік тому +11

    Thank you Danish for explaining this, as I was confused for a long time as to why they concocted these bullshit arguments out of nowhere

  • @heyoldman2003
    @heyoldman2003 Рік тому +6

    and Danish … thank you so much for the closed captioning. deaf ears matter too 👍🏼

  • @janetroberts5140
    @janetroberts5140 Рік тому +2

    My last former spouse used to say,"uh-huh, uh-huh," over and over again and then he went to sleep. He was a ture Narcissistic person. 12 years younger than myself, telling me I was the cause of our financial problems. I only paid the bills, never buying an online crochet pattern or any online purchase.

  • @carinlamprecht2584
    @carinlamprecht2584 Рік тому +2

    This one hit home. I could never understand how my ex narc could fall asleep within seconds of an arguement. I would lay awake for hours upset, shattered. And in the morning he would get up as if nothing happened and expect me to be smiling and happy. Cruel cruel cruel

  • @lindamarcola1324
    @lindamarcola1324 Рік тому +4

    That is so true. At first I thot he was pretending but nope-was asleep. ?????

  • @sharon3108
    @sharon3108 Рік тому +4

    Falling asleep is another way of rejecting you when you need them. I was terrified of flying..he would fall asleep on the plane before it even finished pulling away from the gate, even though I was practically begging him to talk me through the liftoff. He would immediately fall asleep if I was driving but not if someone else was in the car. Go out to a restaurant, have a nice meal and he would get in the backseat like a baby and go to sleep on the way home. Fall asleep after an argument, bad sex or if I wanted to watch a movie. Would be snoring before the opening credits finished. Yeah, sleep is another tool in their evil box of tricks to cut you off feeling left alone

  • @munirakassam4132
    @munirakassam4132 Рік тому +4

    Precisely my story.... I can't thank u enough for this insight. 42 years down the road I'm finding out about Narcs!!! Just recently from Dr. Ramini. Cannot believe how a wife can put up with a husband for 40 plus years.... and I'm still here. I thank u once again, sincerely. Keep up the good work and I wish everyone all the best of luck, struggling and suffocating in the same situation.. get out as soon as u can..... run!!!

  • @denisj6089
    @denisj6089 Рік тому +14

    Thank you for sharing your stories Danish, though I am deeply sorry that you and I went through similar experiences, you sharing them with me as helped me profoundly in my recovery work. When I hear you tell your stories, it's as if I'm telling them.
    It took me -so- long to stop normalizing that kind of behavior, where my family and I would be sitting in our rooms, completely confused, hyper vigilante, ready to jump out of a window at a moment's notice, trying to figure out and play in my imagination every scenario of the next thing that could happen so I'd be ready, some of them brutal and violent. Just sitting there and preparing mentally for the next time I walk out of my room and what I might face and be on alert for my dad's footsteps.
    it was absolute torment and then he would just, go lay down in his bed and take a long nap.

  • @nimisharanjan7554
    @nimisharanjan7554 Рік тому +6

    Yeah this is what I always wanted to know about

  • @gigiarmany4332
    @gigiarmany4332 Рік тому +7

    Wow..thank you Sir for your vulnerability in telling us your personal experience with the narc parent, a truely heart breaking & mind numbing situation that leaves no spouse or child unscathed & with life long CPTSD... imo narcissists get a LOT of lee way & no consequences in non Western cultures & I 'm very glad that you adress these issues so eloquently & may reach many more people from other cultures & help them feel validated & empowered to free themselves of these horrible family dynamics that are so often swept under the rug & not spoken about ..to the detriment of the victims😓😠

  • @HomeFrendsten
    @HomeFrendsten Рік тому +6

    Narcissists destrpy othrs peace and nobody destroys theirs ,such people donot care for othrs suffrings though they know they r responsible,

  • @katkollies6986
    @katkollies6986 Рік тому +5

    I’ve experienced this too many times.

  • @starrystarrynight52
    @starrystarrynight52 Рік тому +13

    I've had chronic insomnia my entire life. Both the major narcissists in my life (mom and ex-husband) responded to my problem with "I've never had a problem sleeping, why would you?" and both accused me of lying, because they don't have problems sleeping. Edit : Oh that smirk. My mother (covert) would do this. No one believed me about my mother smirking at my distress. My ex was just out right a butt hole.

    • @starrystarrynight52
      @starrystarrynight52 Рік тому +1

      @@ryan-qz5xb Basically. They shut down completely and ignored anything after that.

  • @dja192
    @dja192 11 місяців тому +2

    Another thing that they do is simply ignore when they have upset you and you are crying … they are simply unmoved by it. Or even if something else has made you cry, they don’t care to even know about it and won’t ask.

  • @jinypaul3015
    @jinypaul3015 Рік тому +8

    What you said in this episode is very true. I experienced this situation in my life.. Thanks🙏🙏 and blessing🙏🙏🙏

  • @HonestyIsAVirtue7
    @HonestyIsAVirtue7 Рік тому +7

    Since they are unable to regulate their own emotions, they will dump all of their guilt and shame onto others. Then, they go fast asleep and dream of sunshine, and lollipops because they have the mentality of a two year old. I'm surprised that they don't suck their thumbs while they are sleeping.. IJS

  • @sohinisen3042
    @sohinisen3042 10 місяців тому +1

    Very well explained indeed! 👍🏻👏🏻Knew parts of it but your clarification on this issue made the picture complete. Yes, they do project and unburden their venom into us. They want us to react in a violent way, get extremely annoyed, cry in pain and basically lose our orientation. They will not care at all. They will just sleep like a log and wake up as if nothing has happened while we struggle with our feelings. The best way to deal with them is to remain calm and unemotional throughout. Do not defend, engage, explain or personalise. Then, they cannot have that coveted control. One thing we must remember always, for narcs, it is NOT about resolving the issue at hand but control of the situation and control of the outcome are the things the narc is only interested in. Narcs never accept defeat, take responsibility for their actions and offer a genuine apology. Thank you so much for sharing this video! 🙏🏻

  • @elifnaml6969
    @elifnaml6969 4 місяці тому +1

    so true!! including the loudly snoring part

  • @riddhidharaiya5032
    @riddhidharaiya5032 Рік тому +20

    Hi Danish I could only hear you . Couldn't see you properly....as my eyes were filled with tears and my brain was filled with horrible memories ......Thank you once again

    • @abhishekpakhare7682
      @abhishekpakhare7682 Рік тому +3

      Hope you recover and heal in good way and this person is just a lesson

  • @kathleendietz8935
    @kathleendietz8935 Рік тому +4

    OMG! My soon to be ex Narco, exactly what you described! I learned pretty quickly at bedtime to not give in to him. If I did he could harrass me all thru the night! Rant awhile and go in the living room and watch TV, then come back in for more! If he started something I'd lay quietly pretending to be asleep. He'd roughly move in the bed, make Hmmppf noises, start talking his crap, sometimes poking me, I'd act like he woke me up saying what I'm sleeping. Lol of course He'd say your not. Start talking crap and I'd say how about going to sleep and we'll talk in the morning. Didn't always work. But all my years he could mostly go to sleep snoring in 2 seconds. Wondered why? You clarified that question. I just learned to not let him know it bothered me or kept me awake. But that bothered him! Lol if he didn't want me to sleep then neither was he going too👍 Always in an argument he started if he knew I was upset, sad, or crying he'd immediately be calm and happy. He'd done what he set out to accomplish! I learned not to cry or let him know I was hurt. Just say happy now? Well good for you!

  • @AlwaysHope2019
    @AlwaysHope2019 Рік тому +7

    Again same playbook

  • @anabell7737
    @anabell7737 Рік тому +6

    Yes

  • @mikeseitz2792
    @mikeseitz2792 Рік тому +3

    Crazy is right Danish!! Thank You.

  • @Bestisyet2Be
    @Bestisyet2Be Рік тому +3

    I am so greatful the narcissistic abuse that I was in for almost 13 years in prison, those days are over. The rage fit I had to witness he fell asleep deeper than ever that night and I could not sleep at all with him snoring in the room, then the next day it was like nothing happened and where he was blaming me of that he couldn’t sleep and that I let him down. So glad, I am divorcing now and soon will have my name changed in all my documents. The only sad part is that I have to co parent- the worst nightmare of my whole life.

  • @jaypoll5113
    @jaypoll5113 Рік тому +3

    Oh my goodness...this is so correct. I have experienced this over and over again. I only wish I could have seen this 25 years ago. I stayed in a horrible marriage for 24 years with a narcissist and never understood what was going.

  • @Rose-dl6xg
    @Rose-dl6xg Рік тому +2

    For sure. The narcissist can go to sleep easy, after a disagreement, as they have lied, denie, etc... The next morning they act pleasant as though nothing happened!!

  • @Patri_Fides
    @Patri_Fides Рік тому +3

    "Enter not into the path of the wicked, and go not in the way of evil men."
    "For they sleep not, except they have done mischief; and their sleep is taken away, unless they cause some to fall." -Proverbs 4:14-16

  • @grreeniis
    @grreeniis 10 місяців тому +1

    This always amazed me! And it's not just after an argument. Any crisis. They just fall asleep and sleep like babies. It was confusing and infuriating!

  • @ging-a-roo2429
    @ging-a-roo2429 Рік тому +4

    They punish you when you try to defend.

  • @nancyngoiri5955
    @nancyngoiri5955 Рік тому +4

    Very true indeed

  • @jackiemirza8068
    @jackiemirza8068 6 місяців тому +1

    I began to notice many behaviours in late 2021. Until I came to fuller realization in this last year and half, I always wondered why the sleep was almost instant. It was always answered that oh! I didn't sleep good for a few days. Always a reason. But it's obivious now, among many, many things. I use to sleep well, but now I'm the one that can't sleep much.
    I'm glad my eyes are wide open now, even though it's hard to wrap it around my head.
    Thanks Danish for making things clear to us all...💞

  • @kerrytaggart8206
    @kerrytaggart8206 Рік тому +5

    The narcissists venomous personality is hard wired. Born that way. Their victims are the ones that need psychological therapy and understanding to heal. We are forever changed by the damage they cause.

  • @VaswatiDeb
    @VaswatiDeb Рік тому +4

    O yes i did experience it. I dont understand how they can feel the way they feel.ugh. so twisted.

  • @user-kx6tw3fo1e
    @user-kx6tw3fo1e Рік тому +4

    This was the best video ever!
    Thank you for talking about this!

  • @susanparker9877
    @susanparker9877 Рік тому +1

    Excellent analogy! I have recognized this dynamic of using me as a mood regulator. He dumped on me and felt all better! I felt like sh*t! He'd sleep like a log, then be all smiles the next day as if nothing had happened. Crazy making to the extreme!

  • @goldengoddesstv9669
    @goldengoddesstv9669 Рік тому +2

    😂😂🤣🤣🤣omg this man speaks onllllyyyyy truth...the narcissist is my...never mind

  • @PrettyBlue822
    @PrettyBlue822 11 місяців тому

    This is so accurate 💯💯💯
    Ur sincere suffering means absolutely nothing

  • @fa-pi6xu
    @fa-pi6xu Рік тому +3

    Thank you for this Danish. You so accurately described my narcissistic husband.

  • @lynnwann443
    @lynnwann443 Рік тому +1

    They sleep well 😴😌after overpowering u in an argument 😤 really
    Now i understand dem better

  • @garygood369
    @garygood369 Рік тому +1

    Sometimes I'll watch your channel and think, "It's like this guy has been watching my life!" 😂 it's wild how truly accurate AND enlightening you are in these matters. I can not begin to express the depth of my gratitude for what you are doing here. Thank you so much for helping my life make so much more sense and helping give me the strength to get thru this part of my life.

  • @bincyvs
    @bincyvs Рік тому +4

    Thank you for this information..my husband always doing this to me 😓

  • @karnimaa23
    @karnimaa23 Рік тому +2

    S . U r correct 💯. Same think happen to me... I use to wait he will wake up n say sorry.. instead of that i use to c he is sleeping after the fight..

  • @EvolveSoulTarot
    @EvolveSoulTarot Рік тому +3

    My husband does this , he will literally walk away and says I have to go to sleep. He doesn’t care to resolve the issue. I finally came to the conclusion that he is a narcissist and need to get out of the relationship.

  • @newandoldtech5634
    @newandoldtech5634 Рік тому +1

    Talk about old age, and death. That will wipe the smirk of their faces

  • @angiehayes7397
    @angiehayes7397 10 місяців тому

    Happens every time!!! I feel like it's also another way to run from the truth! Blows my mind 🤯🤯

  • @Lailat854
    @Lailat854 Місяць тому

    You are right!!
    I have discovered something else too after getting educated and met his silent treatment with complete silence and no contact. He started silent treatment last time two years ago and slept at the kids room - expecting me to do what I do: talk to him, try to solve things and many times exploding telling him the truth!
    Anyway: Since I went silent he has done everything: arguing - no reaction. Trying to communicate - no reaction. Playing being happy listening to music making food - no reaction from me whatsoever! Then he started to lay in bed for hours - pretending to sleep. In his room alone, only going to work and eating when he gets home then to bed till the next day😂😂😂
    It has to be a form of sustainable collapse.
    I don’t give him service, attention nor anger. Nothing - and I expected him to leave. But he does not leave. My therapist said he was a low grade covert narcissist- and that he is afraid of taking one more step and loose even my detached presence

  • @ting1084
    @ting1084 Рік тому +2

    i never considered this but this is my experience. What however i did notice one day was that after we had the frequent morning argument before he went to work … after the fight i would be gut punched, stunned, hurt. And one day after a typical fight i looked out the window and saw him glowing, strutting like a happy rooster walking out the door to work

  • @rhettbaldwin8320
    @rhettbaldwin8320 11 місяців тому +1

    Because they live in the luxury of nothing ever being their fault, or their responsibility.

  • @Nancy-yw1rr
    @Nancy-yw1rr Рік тому +2

    OMG- yes! My ex would scream, throw things, etc. and after he finally would wind down, he'd disappear and I'd find him asleep- often lying on his back on the floor. When he'd wake up, typically hours later, he would blame ME for "wasting the evening" or ruining the day. Total insanity.

  • @xcherryjonesx
    @xcherryjonesx 11 місяців тому +1

    I’m watching this while my fiancé sleeps peacefully to the right of me and my baby sleeps in his bassinet to the left after a long night of being yelled at and belittled. Lord please give me the strength

  • @sangitadey8298
    @sangitadey8298 Рік тому

    Absolutely absolutely correct. 1000% on point.

  • @reysanmiguel6016
    @reysanmiguel6016 Рік тому +3

    You are absolutely right! The older they get the worst they become. Is there a point in time that they will realize that they have such an abnormal personality?

  • @mtc-j9i
    @mtc-j9i Рік тому +2

    I’m still laughing at “what a sh!$&y way to regulate yourself.” 😂 yes, it really is. And it is very crazy.

  • @dickflinghammer2985
    @dickflinghammer2985 5 місяців тому

    It's insane how many times I was confused about this. This explanation is so on target and relatable. I am going to add from my experience speaking from a spiritual perspective. It's like the demons hounding them making them feel worthless and inadequate give them a respite from that torture when the narcissist attacks and gets that rise out of you. Ultimately satisfying the appetite of the entity for a bit. Like having had a full meal then standing before a buffet. It's not all that appealing suddenly after having gorged but it's nice to know it's there to come back for more when your hungry next. Now it's sweet dreams for the happy narcissist while you are obliterated.

  • @Mvo204Mehlo
    @Mvo204Mehlo Рік тому

    Very insightful.
    They hate bieng confronted, and stood up to. That's were the hate begins.

  • @ronkwarin6917
    @ronkwarin6917 Рік тому

    You did a valuable acknowledgement and I watched trough many videos. I keep asking myself why my kid and I cannot run and leave. He completely brainwashed my child and if she doesn’t want to follow me I will always be trapped in his Kingdom.

  • @MsTeelove07
    @MsTeelove07 Рік тому +2

    I witnessed this first hand for 30 plus years!!! Finally divorced him and it's the best thing I could have ever done for myself!!! Sleep is returning to me the natural way!!! Peace in my life finally!! Get out!!!! Just Get out!!! Best way you can!!! Save your life!!!

  • @deboragrace7873
    @deboragrace7873 11 місяців тому

    Yes Danish, it happened to me all the time, you are 100% on point.

  • @truthmerchant1
    @truthmerchant1 Рік тому +2

    They start arguments so they can feed off your energy, then they immediately settle down for an after-dinner sleep.

  • @shelleyd9910
    @shelleyd9910 Рік тому +1

    Spot on[. He would put the conversation off, deflect, blame shift and avoid all day. At night time he would use the profanity, defaming me. I would fight back and he would accuse me of starting an argument at night. I would not want to go to bed with it unresolved and he would accuse me of depriving him of sleep and accuse me of never stopping nagging him. I would not go to bed till 2am because by then I was certain he was in a deep sleep. The next day he would argue with me that we had resolved it and I just did not like the answer.
    What a Mongrel[
    I think I have unresolved anger over this.

  • @br9791
    @br9791 Рік тому +2

    My therapist told me when he starts yelling to go to another room and do not engage. It helped. And yes, he would start snoring the second his head hits the pillow

  • @nimisharanjan7554
    @nimisharanjan7554 Рік тому +6

    One more thing I want to know, my narc husband feels live in an environment where people are laughing loudly, mimicking and telling their stories, but he feels drowsiness when people sitting around him are talking in low voice or some spiritual kind of discussion is going on. Why it happens?

    • @Lyrielonwind
      @Lyrielonwind Рік тому +3

      It happens because he doesn't care about those matters and prefers simple people acting out that an immersion on spiritual matters. He's too shallow.

    • @RapturereadyforJesus
      @RapturereadyforJesus Рік тому

      I know for sure they cannot discuss anything about Jesus or the Bible. It is a demonic bondage.