The Gift of Sobriety: Lessons from 12 Years of Recovery
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- Опубліковано 15 чер 2024
- In this episode of Flow Over Fear, Adam Hill shares powerful insights from his journey in recovery. Adam debunks common myths he believed about alcoholism, including thinking he wasn't like other addicts. Adam also opens up about facing social anxiety without drinking and learning to enjoy life sober. For anyone seeking personal growth, this episode provides thought-provoking food for thought on challenging addictive behaviors and prioritizing emotion
[00:00] Intro
[05:12] Relying on alcohol hinders personal growth
[06:15] Using substances to avoid emotions prevents healing
[09:44] Debunking common myths about alcohol and addiction
[13:42] Finding community and connection through AA meetings
[15:09] The social benefits of sobriety
[20:18] the power of "just for today": Fiinding sobriety one day at a time
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Four and a half years sober !
No good comes from Drinking Alcohol , I can agree with that ! I have been Sober 23 years , I did AA in the first 6 years , I was an International Athlete in my younger days and used the excercise to alleviate my Anxiety for around 10 years , addicted to excercise . Low self esteem , ( self inflicted ) and assertiveness problems , I had to overcome them by myself , being self employed helped eg asking to be Paid etc ! I have been through Cancer , the death of both Parents , and it amazes me how strong a Person one can be ! I am not quite like the Late Comedian George Carlin when he said " Why it's important not to give a Shit " but I no longer people please , don't get me wrong I will still help people but I am not aUtility Belt hanging on a Hook ! Good Luck . ☺
This really resonated with me. Specifically the part where you spoke of chasing a feeling. When I first started drinking it made me more social. As years progressed I became anxious and isolated, but I kept drinking hoping it would lessen my social anxiety. Instead I was more anxious than I ever was before. Add in the weight gain from drinking and my social life was pretty much non existent. It's crazy how much alcohol fools us.
I’m glad this resonated. It’s amazing how something that we use to become social can make us feel alone.
@@AdamCHill Yes!
Your take on heavy drinking and the emotions and experiences you lived through due to its heavy useage completely resonated with me as the partner of an alcoholic.After years of drinking it completely changed my kind,loving husband of 42 years into an isolated,anxious,narcissistic physically and mentally sick human being.The impact it had on our family was traumatic, destructive and tragic for all.
Sadly we are now seperated .I don't blame him for the addiction, condition,illness or whatever one may call it.But I do for not taking the responsibility to heal from it and get well.
Sobriety is a no brainer.
I chose a different path. I chose to resolve the issues CAUSING me to want to use. When i did that, the addiction fell away on its own, without much effort at all. I don't do meetings, i don't avoid going anywhere, the desire to use is gone and has remained gone for almost 5 years now. I made changes like changing my thinking, started meditating and became willing to face whatever came/comes up for me. My entire life has changed. I'm not the same person who used. But these changes were the result of having resolved the issues causing me to want to use. Thanks
Congrats on nearly 5 years! Interesting take thanks for sharing, and I like that you have a different perspective that shows there isn’t just one way to address the deeply rooted “ism”.
Since you resolved your issues, do you think you can use in moderation now?
@@temprary580 i don't use at all. I'm not even the same person who used. I could never go back to using. A few things are required for using. First is denial, denial that there's a problem, denial about what's causing the problem. Second is victimhood. You have to be a victim and blame your parents, significant other, society, anything outside of yourself for your lot in life and addiction. By blaming, you are refusing to take responsibility for your own well being, your decisions and your actions. Last, you have to really hate yourself to be willing to do something so destructive to yourself.
I no longer engage in those behaviors. I've changed EVERYTHING, from the way i think, to what i do, how i see the world, how i see myself. I stopped blaming my eff ups on everything and everyone else. I learned how to forgive, accept and love myself, how to properly take care of myself, how to grow spiritually, etc. I took full responsibility even for what parents i chose before incarnating and for choosing all the major events that would happen in my life. I consciously chose to experience the childhood abuse and every single horrible thing that happened because i wanted to experience whatcit means to heal myself and overcome. I choose to heal and not to be numb. I chose to feel EVERYTHING and process it and release it, no matter how difficult it was/is to do so. And i did all this AFTER ending up in a wheelchair. I came to a point in my life that i had to either go ahead and exit this world or get my shit together and figure out how to live and be in my own skin. I chose the latter and was not going to allow ANYTHING to stop me. I finished processing my traumas and suppressed emotions that I'd started processing when i was in therapy for 12 years. I took the tools i already had gotten from the many books i had read throughout my 37 year addiction and from majoring in psychology many years ago, and from therapy and went to work. I walked through (or rather rolled through) my fears one by one and faced them, i evaluated my entire belief system and charged the beliefs that were not serving me, i silenced the voice of the inner critic in my mind, i changed my diet, i left a narcissist husband, i learned how to do everything in my wheelchair, i made spiritual growth my number one priority, started a meditation practice, changed my perception of God, went to the previous versions of myself, the younger ones, in particular the children, one by one, i let them tell me their story, i made a commitment to be there for them and love them and integrated each and every part of me that i formerly had ignored and rejected. I forgave each one of them, going through every incident and memory i had from childhood and adulthood where there was pain, where i felt alone and abandoned, where i started using, where i continued to use. I had to accept and forgive each and every single previous version of myself. That's called Shadow Work, a term coined by renowned psychologist Carl Jung. I am still working on this as other memories resurface and other layers reveal themselves. As i stated, i am not the effed up, angry, resentful, victim that used. [BTW my drugs of choice were cocaine and heroin] There isn't even one part of my life that didn't change. I had a spiritual awakening and when you've had that, you can never go back to the way it was. Bill Wilson discussed this in the Big Book. I couldn't use even if i wanted to. You cannot go back to that prison once you've freed yourself. You can't go back because you are not the same. I didn't do all this work and resolve all this stuff to return to my vomit and eat it again. The struggle is gone. I have 5 years in July. I can go anywhere, and the desire to use is gone. I love my life today and i wouldn't change it for anything. Ironic how i didn't get free until the wheelchair. I wouldn't even change that. I do not regret the past anymore. I enjoy being in my own. I bought a house, I live alone because i can. Nobody comes in and helps me. I do all the work, i do all my own housework, i fix things, i drive, i even mow the yard in my wheelchair with a push mower and weedeat. I go dancing in my chair, go to the gym and work out, i do everything.
Since I'm in a chair and haven't been able to work a regular job, i have all the time in the world to deal with my issues, and have taken advantage of that when i started this journey, to be able to work on myself every single day. Most don't have that opportunity. As a result i was able to work through a hell of alot in the first 3 years. 3 years ago I could not paint at all. I set aside 4-6 hours, 5 days a week to teach myself how to paint a painting, and did so well that my artwork is in a store downtown and is selling. That's the kind of determination required to do this kind of work resolving your issues. Decide to stop projecting your unresolved stuff onto others as was done in your comment and you might have a chance to heal yourself and be free from addiction as well. But unfortunately the reality is that most people do not have the capacity to be honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. Very few people ever do the work it takes to free themselves from their addiction. I have only met 2 or 3 others in my entire life of 58 years who have ever done this. It is not the easier, softer way. Most will choose to make 12 step meetings their new addiction and just live a life where it's a constant struggle to stay sober. I did that myself for over 30 years. I chose a path to be free from that once and for all. There are different paths to sobriety and you need to find what works for you. I found that constantly talking about addictions and war stories was detrimental to my ability to stay sober. I found that being around unhealed dysfunctional people didn't promote healing and taking responsibility. I was willing to do anything to stop the addiction and i found what actually worked for me. Good luck to you.
Good perpective
Thank you!
Worth 30 minutes of your time.
🙏🙏