How to *Actually* be Happy Single | Nika
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- Опубліковано 12 вер 2024
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Hope you guys enjoyed this video and found it helpful! So sorry for the weird light changes... the weather in Slovenia has been all over the place 😅
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Very helpful and proud of you and all you have done for yourself
Thank you
@@kathleenl4128 I'm happily single I don't need a woman in my life all I need is a good life.
Nika Nikita I'm happily single great video I know it's true there is someone for everyone but i know woman would want to be with me. Have a great day.
She said “there is no ‘the one’ that’s going to make my life amazing..I’m the one that makes my life amazing”... that was good.
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
yeah she should find soneone if focused making it amazing for him , selfishness lead loneleness
But there are definitely many who will make your life miserable, all stupid negative people around who will make your life miserable
Been exactly my problem all my relationship life. Each time I've expected them to make me happy because I felt shit about myself, and each time I ended up encouraging or creating the toxicity. Now 2.5 years single, I've learned all the lessons but feel too aware of everything now. Ignorance made me more confident! Sigh.
@@lonelylovely1176 shut up
I am so proud of you girl. I have decided to "intentionally" stay single as well this year. I won't enter into a relationship unless I forget that I'm single and untill I stop yearning for 'the one' all the time. This video was so powerful. Thanks so much!
Same , that yearning will be gone soon inshallah
I've been single for 10 years and I too will stay single until earning for the one is gone.
I’m gonna write out what she said at the end as affirmations, because!!!
I am whole and complete as an individual
I don’t need a relationship
I know who I am without a relationship
I know that I have a beautiful and fulfilling life without a relationship
I know that the way I feel isn’t dependent on a relationship
I know that the way I think and feel about myself is not dependent on a relationship
I know that I can live without a relationship
Amen sugar
❤❤❤❤❤
As an asexual and aromantic person for few years, I always loved to be single and I guess I found all of this ! 🤍🤍😍🥰
As an asexual and aromantic person for few years, I always loved single life. I found and experienced all of these !
In my perception based on my experience, I will say this is best thing that I happened in my life ! 😍🤍🥰✌️🌞
I have been single intentionally for 1 year now as well. I was broken up with at the end of 2019 and and i was really upset. But then i took a look at my life and realized all throughout my 4 years of university, i was constantly from one relationship to the next. And during those 4 years i really struggled with my mental health. After the break up in 2019 i tried going on a few dates in the beginning of 2020 but then i just realized i didnt care any more. And honestly loved being a lone and in my own space, and doing whatever i wanted to do whenever i wanted to do. When you said "i am the one" i couldnt agree more. Since being single for a year, i got off my anxiety and depression meds, i am learning to love my body, i havent even touched makeup, and i havent been happier with my life. Lots of love ❤
Same here
Wow good for you Sarah
@@ShannonThor. I was never in a relationship.
Relatable***
@@shivanisuman171 its hard to find that someone that will make you happy if i was too try and find them do you have any tips how not too freeze up on them by being scared of asking them out?
That part when she mentioned on a scale of 1 to 10 if the level of chemistry you feel towards this person is a 9 or a 10 in the beginning, its probably going to be toxic that really clicked for me. Its so true. You want to just be comfortable with some one not crazy over them. I'm going to keep that in mind going forward
Yes. Single life gives freedom. It doesn’t require sacrificing or responsibility to someone.
Going through a breakup at the moment BUT Im gonna watch this again when Im in a meaningful relationship just so I dont forget that I AM THE ONE.
How are you doing Patricia?
Hi ❤❤🌷🌷
stop lying to yourself dear. you are one of MANY.
Am I the only one who learned how to be alone and still happy in 2020?🥺🧸
Sometimes I even wish i would be REALLY alone (without my mom living in the next room) haha tf 😅
@@luvitrbs I can relate 😂
@Violet that’s so true, it’s exactly what i mean!
:)
It’s 2021 and I’m just kinda upset because everywhere I look it’s “how to fix yourself” when really it’s not me.I mean really the only place I really feel safe is better bachelor who litterally advocates for being alone... yet I don’t want to be alone
I made the choice in 2012 to be single & celibate by choice. I spend my time volunteering, helping others, working long days to keep building my wealth portfolio, working out at the gym for that wonderful muscle burn.
If I had known how good life could be, living this way, I would have done it a long time before this. Life keeps getting better.
That's the most important point people miss that is being celibate ....if someone is single and just sleeping around that's even worse
@@nbp375 Being celibate works for me. I'm a very intuitive empath, have learned with time to follow my intuition more with time. In such intimacy as sexual intercourse, I attach to that person. Sleeping around would destroy me, emotionally. Even if that were not present in me, I had a wonderful maternal grandfather. He instilled in me, a sense of responsibility for my own actions, how my actions might affect others. When a guy sleeps around, he can potentially impregnate every woman he has intercourse with. Then, go on his merry way, unaffected nor worried whether he has created a child with her. She, however, will often carry with her, the slight or large worry of potentially, becoming with child.
This reason, alone, is enough to remain celibate, for me.
The emotional wear & tear of attaching then, having to un attach with every man which, having allowed such intimacy, I would have to heal from.
So, yes, celibacy is the best way, for me.
Thank you🥰
I am 34 this year and it has taken me 18years to be single, Be alone, value my self worth and after watching you and this video three times- I feel even more enlightened and I know this is what I have to do for myself mentally, Physically, , Spiritually and most of all emotionally. Thank You
Light, Love & Friendship x
No racy photos on InstaGram?
Wow, thought I wrote that comment! Also 34, also taken me a long time to learn all that. While it's a relief it also saddens me. Still, better than a bitter marriage!
@@MikeJackson690I'm 43 and I've learned a lot yet still learning a lot. At times, it is sad. Feels like you're not fully living.
I have been single for 22 years now, I am so happy too !!
and I am 22 hahah... wait, why am I crying ?
same. i've been single my whole life 🤣
I've been single for 25 Years ..... and I'm just 23 lol
@@peachforlyfe7147 but how old are you now ? xD
@@GamerWolfLp and where are those 2 years going ? haha
@@bionbbor7728 i am 23 :D
Your idea of "the one" gave me a new perspective on it. Thank you
GIRL we are the same person!!! I literally could not believe how much I related to what you said! After ending my last relationship, I decided I needed to try and stay single for a whole year. Currently 8 months in, and although there have been a few bumps in the road, I am SO proud of myself. For the first time in my life I’m experiencing what it’s like to be HAPPY single!! Wish I had found this sooner but so glad to have came across your channel :))
how was your year of being single? are you still going? this video has me wanting to try as well :)
Oh I needed this! I've spent most of 2020 single doing shadow work, trying to figure out my unconscious patterns. Painful, but so liberating. I also chose Psychology as optional subject at university and I'm learning so much. I have so much love to give, but for now I'm giving it to myself, my friends and stray dogs and kittens. It's okay. Comparison to others is the hardest part, though.
I think if you are the "one" for yourself, than you also can be the one for your partner, and if he thinks the same he will be the "one". I had so much problems with myself& i needed to love myself and so i can enjoy everyday. Even if i am alone, the "one" ist at my side.
I am 30 years old but still virgen
This actually blew my mind. I have had an ongoing list of things I want to do on dates, and I was thinking that finding the one is totally a slim chance. So I was just going to go on casual dates so I had people to do those things with.
But after watching your video I went through my list and realized like 95% of it is stuff I'd be happy to do on my own so... yeah!
BENEFITS OF BEING SINGLE
- Everything in your house is yours
- You don’t have to hide receipts and other purchases
- If you buy something yummy, you don’t have to buy twice as much
- The only person you have to dress up for is your Boss
- Only the Doctor can tell you what to eat
- You decide when to shave and where
- No Anniversaries to remember
- No irritating in-laws to deal with
- You can walk around Naked whenever you want
- You don’t have to share
- You don’t have to change your life because someone else has jealousy issues
- The only insecurities you have to deal with is your own
- No complaining about the volume of your music
- You can fall asleep anywhere without hearing anybody complaining.
- The only person who goes through your stuff is you
- More time to spend with friends
- If you want to go for pizza at 3:00 a.m. no one can stop you or ask why
- You can date more freely
- You don’t have to share your closet with anyone else
- You always get to watch what you want
- You don’t have to deal with no one else’s annoying or disgusting habits
- You can talk and think out loud to yourself without anyone thinking you’ve lost your sanity
- The only annoying friends you have to deal with are your own
- You don’t have to wonder if you love the person or if they love you
-There’s only one way to do things...your way
- You are the master of the thermostat
- The only messes you have to clean up are your own
- You don’t have to make excuses for yourself
- Dinner can be as simple as a Frozen Burrito
- When you eat, you buy and cook for one
- No one else is going to eat your leftovers
- You no longer have to hide your stash of sweets
- You can decorate the whole house according to your taste
- The only person spending your money is you
- The only debts you have to pay off is your own
- You don’t have to bicker and argue with anyone
- Less pressure about your weight
- It’s easier to focus on your career and dreams
- The only mood swings you have to deal with are your own
- The toilet seat only moves when you move it
- You don’t have to deal with anybody else's kids
- No endless Nagging
- You never have to answer the phone “right now”
- You don’t have to have doubts or worry about someone sleeping around and cheating on you
- Things stay where you put them
- You can meditate and have your quiet time when you need it
- The only thing whining about not being feed is the cat
- You can take out the trash when you feel like it
- You can shower or bath when you want and for as long as you want
- You can even leave the door open when you shower
- You don’t have to worry about a bad relationship ruining your day
- You can be as eccentric as you want
- You decide how long it takes to get ready
- You get your weekends for you and your projects
- You get to put your happiness first
- Silence is golden
- Being Single is better and smarter than being in the wrong relationship.
- I’m Single because it’s so much Easier.
-Don't have to worry about being Cheated on and Disrespected.
- Can get Completely Naked...wearing clothes is optional
- Don't have to feel Guilty for not Cooking or Cleaning
- Can Fart Openly
- Can do Any and Everything I want without Answering to anyone
- No Jealousy
- Life is Less Stressful, which = PEACE.
- Can be Spontaneous
- I can be Lazy
- Don't have to worry about what I look like- - Can wear the same PJs Every night until they need washing
- Don't have to Share my Bed
- Don't have to Argue
- I save so much more Money
- I work harder at Staying In Shape
- I can be Friends with a 100 different Guys
- My friends can Sleep over
- Toilet Seat is always in the right position
- No one Eats your Food
- You can keep your house clean. No one making a Mess
- I can Pee with the Door open
- I can be as weird as I want to be.
- I can think out Loud
- You don't have to do anything you Don't want to do.
- Less responsibility to take care of somebody else.
- I can be selfish...No Guilt.
- I Don’t have to Compromise or get Permission to do things.
- I Can FOCUS on my Research, My UA-cam Channel, being a Motivational Life Coach and, the Books I'm writing.
💯
Awesome list!!!💯
I can see a crying soul behind these words.
@@dinkan3 Yeah because people suck.
@@dinkan3 peace with yourself is not a crying soul. I prefer to be single because I am enough, I don’t need someone to complete me, i am at Peace in myself and my spirituality😌
Here are the 5 main things that make me happy being alone
1: my spirituality
2: me
3: yoga
4: working out
5: meditation
Love this thanks!! I have felt this way for a few months but still kept convincing myself I needed a guy....now I'm good....I don't NEED a guy. If one day I meet someone who is happy and whole he can share time in my happy whole life as I can share in his. Nobody should have the responsibility of making someone else's life happy! I love myself now and my life and it's been a long hard road to get to this understanding but it's so worth it!! Good luck to all you beautiful people ... be content with who you are as you are amazing just as you are xx
I've been floating around life for a few weeks now, I stumbled across this and my heart is pounding. Tell your therapist I say thank you because I needed this too ♡
I am 30 years old but still virgen
@@juanpedro4083 nothing wrong with that. 🤍❤️
Pandemy or not I am happy with myself. I like to spend time just with myself. I found that being in relationship is limiting me as person.
I am 30 years old but still virgen
When your 40's approach, and no real prospects, don't panic! lol
@@nagone11don't care to be honest. I prefer focus on work. Relationship is not everything and your comment is sexist. Probably in my 40 I will look like in my 30 is coz in age of 33 I look like 23 🤣. I have behind me all ready one fail marriage after 9 years so don't give me your talk what's is good to me or not. I know myself better than you and frankly I prefer to spend life alone than with somebody who cheat, drank alcohol all the time and is nasty to me.
@@Dream_Dreamlit that's the dumbest thing I've read in a while...my comment is sexist? I'm just speaking the truth from what I have seen and many others have experienced over the years. Now..to be quite frank with you I could care less what's good for you or not, I was just responding to a comment that I thought had a certain amount of bitterness in it, and I have seen how many of you end up. If you were with a person like you said, maybe pick or choose better men, but as it is said, who people choose have some reflection of themselves. Most of us have had bad relationships in the past, but it's all about what you've learned. Bitterness, anger and isolation I fear, tends to yield poor results in many different ways.
@@nagone11 i don't care about your opinion too. I have every right to say what's I think as much as you too.
Could you talk more about how you learned to express your anger please?
That would be extremely helpful
Agreed!
Yesss
Yes...
Yessss
Thanks for the advice im in my early 30s
I never had a long term relationship
No engagements
No children
I finally learned my lesson 😌 and I knew that I was getting into but I didn't want to be alone I always wanted to be a wife, mother and business woman. So now I need to love myself more than I others. Again Nika Nikita thanks for sharing your experiences
I'm 28, same boat. Always wanted to be a mother, but I feel like I have to give up on that dream. I feel like I'm grieving. How do we move on and be ok with the life we have?
been single for 2 years and it feels really good to spend my time just for myself
Been single for 8 years, so far, I've learned to seek validation within myself, Happy being self-reliant, Happy being with my solitude, Never having to deal with someone's problems, And knowing you don't need to drama, Taking care of your elder parents is enough, But I truly think I am the one, I'm always there when I need me. ❤
"but I truly think I'm the one. I'm always there when I need me" - that was powerful!
I’ve been single my whole life so I’d better learn to be happy being single forever.
I love u ❤❤🌷🌷
I like u really 👧👧😍😍😍
Learning to live with the circumstances is important but self growth is also required
@@nbp375self growth isn't required. Its a choice like anything else.
It’s about choosing it and practicing every single day. There’s absolutely nobody in the world that can make you happy, YOU make YOU happy.
“I’m the one I make my life Amazing they will just add it to it”. Love it! 🙏🏾😃
I must say this is very helpful and truthful. I've lost "the love of my life" in an accident at very young age. I dated and got into another relationship, even though my 2nd relationship we share more interests and values we werent as compatible. One main reason is that I wasn't complete with myself and I haven't truly moved on from my past. Being the one for you will ultimately bring out the best in you period.
"I am the one" ❤️🥺
Normally, i never comment on Yt videos but i have to say this: thank you. This was so inspiring and empowering for me! I think society needs to wake up and realize that in reallife there isn't "the one" who comes in your life and all your problems with yourself disappear. We need to learn that we are worthy of giving love to ourselves and we're allowed to be happy single because we are already whole.
I am happily single and I'm proud of myself...😂😂❤❤
yesss💃🏼💃🏼
@@NikasInnerBeauty I am 30 years old but still virgen
You look like such a confident woman, you’re glowing and I can see you actually believe what you’re saying!
My goshhh Nika, this is literally my journey through life and therapy - whether jt's living thorugh identical relationships, based on chemistry and seemingly promising "stability" (HA wrong), or being completely disconnected from my anger. It's so soothing to listen to you, since I'm listening to myself, my therapist, my reason and my inner "higher self" voice at the same time. So glad I found you ! Love everything you post ❤
I'm older than most people here it seems. Had a serious boyfriend who died in 2006. Dated a man in 2008 for about 6 months. Haven't actually dated since then but still have had two men kind of break my heart. So I am both afraid of love and afraid of never having it. I am happy alone very often but still get lonely. Would like to have no desire for it at all.
Been through something similar. Hadn’t been in a relationship since 2010 but still managed to be heartbroken a few times. I sometimes wished I was just not interested in any relationships or even sex at all because it would be easier
@@JadeManatee - I'm sorry you have been hurt too. So frustrating, isn't it? ❤️
@@juliam1099 well just the part where feeling any desire to couple up feels like a burden
@@JadeManatee - it feels like romantic love was meant for other people and I could forget about it more easily if it wasn't always in our faces.
I feel exactly the same. After two break ups ( two marriages) I am now on my own for one and a half year. My ex - wifes didn't cheat on me. We grew apart in different ways. After all this time ( almost 40 years of marriage i now know and realize that i am the one. I always tried to do my best and my ex- wifes did the same. I cannot blame any of them.
I can live quite good with myself, but I feel these things the same as you do. I feel scared about women on one hand but on the other hand I feel sadness about possible not having love at all. I am not feeling desperate but for me love is a mistery. I am trying to solve the mistery deep within myself. All is now on me. Thank you very much for your reaction. It inspired me to respond to your message. Wish you all the best. Gerard.
6:17 this is very important. Just because someone is angry at you, they have the rights to call you names, pour their anger at you without calming down first. It's like instead of talking about the problem, they're making you feel YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.
Myself I’m enjoying being single now 5-years and previously in two long term relationships 10-years last & 20-year marriage now I’m some what a loner and can’t wait for riding season & overnight camp-outs. You just got to be happy in your own skin and love your self and look after number one your self and enjoy each and every day as it’s our last.
It’s almost like I secretly knew all of this information in bits and pieces but I needed it to be framed in this way for it to get through to me lol
I'm 24 and I've been with my partner for almost ten years. We are happy so I'm using this video to improve my sense of independence and discover who I am on my own as a singular person. I want to be capable to deal with anything life could throw at me 💪 .
I am 30 years old but still virgen
@@juanpedro4083 ok pedro
I’m on the journey of self acceptance. And I just love to have someone to emphasize this idea again and again to me that I am the one. ❤️
Wow I feel everything you're saying. I've just stopped a relationship were I wasn't able to express my feelings and emotions. I was constantly looking at myself (which is always good behaviour) and admitting my shortfalls were as she could never. Anyways I'm out now and even though its difficult I realise the difficulty is only the unknown. Through pain we can grow. Stay strong to everyone that is going through a difficult time, things will improve.
Such a healthy approach. The happier you are as a single person, actually, the more balanced and attractive you are to others anyway…Being happy alone doesn’t mean alone forever unless you choose to be. Being single and happy also really helps you to set better boundaries and have higher standards. To really know yourself!
Standards that actually set you up for healthy relationships.
I have also chosen to be single for at least a while. It’s been a year now and it’s actually been so great! (Prior to this I was always being bombarded with guys pursuing but I didn’t feel at all that it was serving my best interests). Taking a breather is necessary! Actually, being free is pretty wonderful.
Sometimes you just need to realize that your best relationship starts with the one you have with yourself!
My friendships have deepened, my depression went away, my health has really improved and my standards have raised considerably since my decision to be single. And this decision isn’t just on some time limit. This is single until a partner who’s in alignment with my healthy standards shows up and where a mutual attraction exists as well as where time spent shows a consistent pattern of genuine positive relating. And it feels truly right. Magic!
So being single isn’t some curse. What’s bad is just being in a constant string of unhealthy relationships just because somebody’s afraid to be alone. Not good!
I finally feel like I actually know myself well enough to choose a fitting partner now. But if it doesn’t happen immediately that’s cool to because I’m actually enjoying life to the fullest and it’s a lot more pleasing then being involved in any kind of off relationship.
👌🏻☺️
Love it girl! I feel very blessed to have realized this too! No matter what I will be okay. It’s not a man that will fullfill me I will do that for myself! And like you said. Of course you want love in your life but it’s not the end of the world if it doesn’t work out. Partners are for fun 100% 👍
you liked
The problem is not being single. The problem is when you don't have no friends and no one to meet during this pandemic and talk with. Like me. 😣
it will pass dear
Are u okay now?
@@reem-3043 I am not. I am brazilian and we have a president that denies the gravity of the pandemic and we have no hope. We don't know how many years it will last here in Brazil. Thank you for asking. And you?
@@omordomo9685 Sad to hear that :(
May god help u and ur country to pass all this. For days now I have been wondering who was behind this comment and how is he doing now. I feel you, hope everything gets better.
I guess i am okay, not in my best days but fine. Thank you 🙏🏻
@@reem-3043 which country do you write from?
I don't usually comment, but I had to this time because this video resonated with me on so many levels! I've struggled with the single life and finding contentment for years. I have only dated twice, both relationships only a few weeks each. At first I thought it was simply that one relationship was toxic and the other simply not who I was meant to be with. I have bought in and out of the lie surrounding "the one" so many times I am sick of feeling incomplete while standing on my own two feet. Honestly, I have come to discover these past few months that I am a complete person without someone. I made a list years ago about what I wanted in an ideal partner, and then became that list over the years (still a work in progress, folks). But not for that other person, more for me. It may sound selfish to talk about seeking your identity and working on yourself during singleness, but I find great healing in accepting and growing confident in how I've been made. I no longer see "the one" as this divine person I need to find; rather, I view it as the right timing. I do not need to worry about when romance will come my way, as it will happen when it does. For now, I'm learning to appreciate my own company and be ok with going to an event without needing to have a friend or someone with me. I thank the Lord for being my comfort and peace throughout this season because I could not imagine having these strong desires to be with someone (not in a sexual sense but in a homesick kind of way) without the balm of prayer. Thank you, Nika, for sharing these insights and breaking up common misconceptions about relationships!
I was looking for content on living single and came across this "being a happy single" one. I believe it's more than just happiness and even more of a focus on self-growth and development learning to be single. Very good points in this video. I am personally on a journey to be single purposely for the next 2 years. Realizing a lot of habits and other things about myself I need to work on. Made the decision to continue my self-discovery, enjoy my single life, and also utilize the time to build myself. Having balance with joy, peace, and happiness is something I need more of a grasp on. No more trying to fill a void without realizing subconsciously that's what I've been doing. My goal is to develop more self-discipline to work intentionally more on me as well as my goals as they relate to my purpose. Totally love your thoughts on "The One", truly on point. Super great emphasis on mindset development and self-responsibility.
Your skin is so flawless
I've been on a life mission for the one since I was 15! Now, at 43, and after being single for 10 years (after ending an abusive marriage at 33) - I still have this sucky feeling of wanting to meet the one. It's like this engrained program for life and its purpose. Clearly, I still have work to do to rid myself of this need.
Oh this is so good!! Thank you. My situation is that I married very young 20 then divorced after 20 years. I have some trust issues and so I don’t trust being with someone long term. But yet, I’m so happy with my life with ME! So all is good as I feel happy alone no matter 💕
Omg I can relate so much! Thanks for th is video. I ended a toxic relationship last Christmas. I have worked on myself since and I saw a therapist briefly and discovered alot. I learnt my personality type. I am awful at expressing anger... I just cry. I am awful at setting boundaries and was a people pleaser. I am slowly learning how to improve on these areas. Thanks for this video... Glad I'm not the only one.
Being single by choice is great. Being single because nobody wants to date you is very sad.
Nobody wants to date me lol
I agree
For the 1st time in my 47 years I do not seek a relationship or a sexual connection. I am literally content just being with me. I have had a few long term relationships and the last 2 were with addicts. I gave so much of myself to them to try helping etc but finally after a physical assault it was my wake up call. I realised that I was addicted to helping them. I am single now over a year and have men message me online and I’m so happy to not be interested 😀 I hear you, I have enmeshment issues, I lose myself in relationships, they become my focus. I’m not comfortable with that anymore. I choose me 1st now and unless it’s a healthy attraction I have absolutely no interest. I think we can learn so much about our own dysfunction outside of relationship is, the work will be revealed if and when we go back into a dating scenario and we can use our new knowledge of ourselves. Great video
The simple part is realising that you are the most important person person to your self without sounding selfish don’t wast time with people that are not worth it it’s hard but again you learn from your mistakes give it your best she gives some good points
I've been single for five years.
I haven't had sex in three years.
I haven't been on a date in about a year.
No matter how awesome my life is, and my life is genuinely awesome, I do not have what I want. I don't need a relationship to complete me. I want a relationship because I'm sick and fucking tired of being single.
I had a shift this week in perspective about the whole there's not "the one" to "there's literally hundreds of men who I could be compatible with." Also I wondered if we just get less picky as we get older and want to have a companion 😅
Own up to what you have done but also notice what they have done and stand up for yourself do not take the blame if its not on you.
Omg !!!! Can so relate to the emotion and not standing up for myself part , I been single now for 6 morning mths and am finally at a stage where I do feel happy being single
For you it’s a choice, for me I have no other choice 😢 so I want to learn how to be happy being single. We are not same
So does it really give you the credibility to speak on how to be happy being single if you chose to be single for a year and if it was only one year?
The people who are going to gravitate to this video or people who are chronically single for multiple years, against their will. This is the problem with everybody jumping on UA-cam thinking there’s some sort of an expert.
When you are in your younger age, it is idealistic inspiring to be SINGLE throughout your life, but in your golden (old) age, dying in your bed, looking back, tears will fall from your eyes, and you wish you did the right thing... I have interviewed many single old people dying in their beds (mostly in the hospital) where I work, most of them are successful in life with their chosen field of careers but unanimously said, "DYING ALONE IS THE SADDEST PART OF THEIR LIFE."... and FRIENDS are nowhere to be found, but if you have a family of your own, even if your Spouse/Partner is not there for you (divorce), your own children or grandchildren will most probably by your side before you die... They unanimously said, "IF ONLY THEY CAN TURN BACK TIME."... unfortunately, SAD to say, "REGRETS ALWAYS COMES AT THE END."
I like being alone because I can do what I want without compromise. But I miss having someone to go on vacations with. I miss someone to share meals with. Go exploring with. I just don’t want to live with them every day. Many guys I been with were controlling and critical.
I am single since 7 years taking care of my mother and myself and I am happy
This is where I am now, about 3 weeks before turning 40, after a 16 year toxic marriage, after a year of dating someone after that, after several bad first dates, fuck boys, ghosters, dating apps. I got so burnt out by the constant desire and effort to find/ make a real loving relationship that one day I just woke up realizing I genuinely don’t want a relationship. I wanted someone to give me everything that I can now give myself. Why am I still desiring the same old thing when I’m not the same person? I’m so good right now! In such a good place! I don’t need the drama, the stress, the work. I am so good. I don’t need any guy and no guy can ever make me get so unglued ever again. They just can’t. It’s not possible. I’m so whole now.
Happy to remain single. Happy to remain celibate so I can serve God exclusively. Don't want the drama of a marriage. I want to live by myself in peace. God bless you all! Those who desire marriage desire a good thing! Just not me...
I have not long decided to be intentionally single for at least a year and this has been super helpful :) thank you
Putting out in writing some of the things she said in the end with a bit of additions:
You want to be just comfortable with someone, not craaazy over them. so on a scale of 1 to 10 for chemistry, 7 is best.
I am a whole person, who is happy with my life.
Who takes responsibility over my life; over how I feel.
You, as my partner is the same, you are your own person.
We come together in a relationship.
I DONOT DEPEND ON YOU.
I am whole and complete as an individual.
I DONT NEED YOU.
I know who I am WITHOUT you.
I know i have a BEAUTIFUL, FULFILLING life without you.
I know that the way I feel is NOT DEPENDENT on you.
I know that the way I think and feel about myself is not DEPENDENT on YOU.
If we break up, I know that I'm gonna be upset, but I know that Im gonna be OKAY and I have NO doubt in my mind about that.
You are NOT the one who's gonna make my life amazing. I know that.
I am the one to do that.
You are just gonna add to it, and nothing more, like an appendix. I know you are there, but I DONOT really really NEED You.
The relationship does not define my life, or how i feel.
I DO THAT.
I will take myself to dates. I will look after myself. I will be there for myself when I fall down, when I mess up.
I will love and embrace all the broken parts of myself.
I will work on myself to be better everyday.
I am trying hard to become whole on my own without waiting for 'The One' to emerge from nowhere and make me whole/complete and your video popped up. Thank you 💕
Its always a good feeling to appreciate who you are and admire reflecting to happy thoughts. Enhancing your relationship keeps you unique.
the thing is...no one chases after me...it's always me and I fear staying single, will be that self fulfilling prophecy
its nice to find someone nice though... honest and loving
I couldn’t stop staring at her hair. I love it!!!!✨
Thank you very much.
Girls should Learn this At school.
I deeply agree with you.
So glad that I came across this video.
I felt so empowered while just listening to it. And I know, it will be even more empowering, when I actually practice this.
Thank you so much 💕
aw this is so inspiring! I'm going to re-watch this video anytime when I feel down :)
Well said and make sense. However after been single and independent for years, I forgot how to be codependent with others. I got used to being too independent, live without a relationship and also forgot how to live with a partner. One day I met the perfect guy who is loving, caring and high compatibility with my values but he broke up with me after the honeymoon phrase and said that I was too cold, not caring or loving... I was in a very difficult time for my career/study and I didn't share much my anxiety or I dont know how much to share. Also I focused on too much my problems, stressed and neglected his feelings unintentionally. I think its essential to be happy with yourself, to love yourself but also we have to learn how to love others yet maintain an independent life.
The realizations were so good. Thank you, Nika! This one definitely made me feel so much better!
Careness and self give....makesitgoround
You can cope, but all that will eventually fade away.
I have been separated from my wife for only a couple months but the time I have spent with my kids since then has been incredible. I enjoy my time with them more now than I ever have before. When they go to bed it is me time and I can focus on the things I feel like I need to focus on. I am not saying being married is bad but sometimes you need to learn to be alone first before you can be in a relationship. Right now I feel like I could be single forever and be happy.
As a man understanding this...i loved this video.
I love the way she says you can discuss how to be happy single with your romantic partner
I love you so much Nika. Really really needed to hear this and so glad you made a video all about this topic. You are a true inspiration for me 💘💘
This video came in perfect timing because this year I learned how to be “the one” for myself while being in a relationship! It has been a crazy ride but my partner is really amazing and we are learning about this together. Thank you!
I see so many parallels in my self and covid contributed to shattering my relationship during social distancing to protect my loved ones at home but I didn't give enough of myself to loved ones (girlfriend) who weren't in my home. I feel so vulnerable exactly as you were saying and its hard to admit its your own fault and look at your patterns and literally just as you did for the first time I'm reaching out for help and getting therapy and its good to know someone else has had a similar experience.
I felt all the feelings when I become independent, and was so proud that I made it , without living under man’s feelings, without pain, but after long time being alone, like 3-4 years it’s really too alone , I start to feel all the people are happy except me . And I know I have freedom to do everything, but I just seem like lock myself for everything, become isolated 🧐 and my emotions are not stable, kind of everyday has to talk with dear god to let me stress less
The good thing is I know I’m just alone ; not lonely, I do understand it’s impossible to expect a man bring happiness to me
Thank you for this video! I was feeling pretty crappy about being alone and single, as a guy. You brought up some very good things to think about. I wish more people would get help from therapy or counseling. It seems that more and more people are getting divorced these days, and the kids are really taking the fall for it. I sat and thought, do I know anybody that has been brought up by their original parents? I can only think of 1.😔
Girlllll you are getting prettier and prettier and prettier... ❤️
So true compatability trumps chemistry all the way through you need to be compatible with someone even if that seems boring trust u will be so much better off and ur mind will feel so much more at peace
You have no idea how much you have helped me tonight with this video. Thankyou :-)
BETTER TO BE SINGLE THAN LIED TO, CHEATED ON AND DISRESPECTED......
This is so important and helpful, thank you for all of your honesty :) love these tips
I miss being single! Was the happiest time of my life, felt the most confidence and the most peaceful
See here is what I'm struggling with. If I'm not happy being single, I won't be happy in a relationship...but I need to learn to be happy being single in order to find the right relationship. Relationships with others in general make me happier than not having relationships. Humans need relationships to be healthy, we are social beings. Living life alone is not healthy. I want someone to share my life experiences with, not someone to 'complete me'. Furthermore, if I'm the one who is going to make my life happy...what happens if I've already done whatever I can to follow my dreams and goals and done all my shadow and inner work and I still want a relationship?! I'm not happy being single because I want to share my life, not because I'm avoiding my own issues or ignoring my inner needs. I don't know, some one please help because I feel like I'm missing something.
Single since I was born.
Thank you Nika for this video. It helped me realize I have a lot of changing to do💗
Iam slowly trying to stop worrying about if I'll be single forever. I think I let that take control for too long. This was so helpful and mind-blowing in the best way thank you.
Thank you so much for this Nika, your videos are so helpful ❤️
I would love to see a video on the whole learning to feel anger and standing up for yourself topic ✨
I figure 90% of couples are co-dependent and a significant percentage are trauma bonded.
Once you are solvent, on your purpose and happy single you will never let anyone disturb your Life. ❤
Single? Suck at love? cook. Best stress reliever and makes you feel appreciative of what you can do right is cook. Don’t take my word for it.
Blessings! Great video. What stood out for me is " I am the one". Thank you. 🙏
That is my montra. I think being alone i'm more productive. Realize those who judge you are not going to tell you;they judge themselves and everyone else just as harshly.