Hi David, you’re right... there’s a difference between knowing something and believing something... I believe that I‘m alone? Or I know that I’m alone?
@@nicolettaluongo3359 I recently realized that our bodies, our minds and even our five senses help give the illusion that we are alone. We can express ourselves and choose individually but ultimately we are all connected at source energetically. As I like to put it "We are all expressions of the one consciousness"
I've just started uni and my flatmates aren't really my type of people, but they are the only people I can spend time with because of the covid restrictions where I live. I feel like I can't be myself ever and I've been feeling extremely lonely lately, even though I'm not alone. I just want to feel accepted but at the same time I can't imagine being good friends with them. Idk why I'm saying all this, but I just wanted to get it off my chest :)
maybe you could talk to them about it ? Obviously not all at once but do see what you could have in common with them maybe they just don’t know how to make you feel included ;((
Hey keep your head up! I've been in the exact same situation and looking back, that year of living with girls I didn't totally see eye to eye with, ended up just reinforcing who I am and what my values are. Good luck! Believe in who you are
@@sanchsthetic Thank you for your advice, it means a lot!! I've kind of talked to them individually about it. I have been putting in a lot more effort in the last week and I have been hanging out with them everyday. However, they are quite judgemental people and I don't like how they talk about others. They don't really line up with my values. I just want to them to like me, even though I don't think we'll become close friends. I'm just not able to meet anyone else because of covid so I feel stuck.
@@volubleperspicacious thank you so much!! It's so comforting to know that someone else has been in the same position! I've been focusing so much on whether they like me or not that I've forgotten that it doesn't actually matter, so long as I like myself. So thank you for the reminder!
Something that has helped me appreciate my loneliness is pushing myself to try new things on my own. I feel like when you try new things (especially on your own) it teaches you that you’re capable of more than you realize and gives a huge confidence boost, and this can slowly help you grow more comfortable with doing things by yourself. ☺️ Also, I think it’s better to be alone than to be in the wrong company. Now I’ve come to love/prefer my solitude over meaningless outings with people, no more wasting time here and there, doing XYZ. Loved the video rowena. ❤️
I recently graduated from college but staying in our little college town bc of work but Im scared to realize that I don’t have many friends, and the ones I do have are either gone or graduated as well. Ive been feeling very lonely and being alone is scary and intimidating for me so every day is a challenge to do things on my own. I also miss my family sooo much and especially my sisters and just having people surrounding me so this video and this comment specifically is really a challenge that im hoping to overcome! 🤧
I used to spend A LOT of time alone, I had almost no friends and usually really by myself. I started loving it so much that when i finally did have a steady relationship and now kids, it was very hard for me to give that alone time up. I even 'mourned' that time and freedom up until my son was well over a year old. I love my family and have found a way to adjust now, but it's a special season if you're able to have that much alone time. Maybe this could give a view on this from a different persective :)
Year late but this and what Rowena said is not only an eye opener but kind of a scary way to look at things (I'm grateful for it tho). I am a person that doesn't mind being alone when in the comforts of my own home but do crave intimate relationships (romantic/platonic) and do feel misunderstood more than half the time. I digress, I fixate over being alone romantically a lot but to think about barely having time to myself has made me appreciate where I am now a bit more 😂😅. Family is beautiful and ofc as your son gets older you will have more time to yourself 😄
A related quote: "I believe I know the only cure, which is to make one's center of life inside of one's self, not selfishly or excludingly, but with a kind of unassailable serenity -- to decorate one's inner house so richly that one is content there, glad to welcome anyone who wants to come and stay, but happy all the same when one is inevitably alone." -Edith Wharton thank you for helping me decorate my inner house
I hope she knows how many people she inspires and helps. This is a hard topic to talk about and personally I still feel uncomfortable when I reflect back. I’m sure she’s a mentor to most of us and I can say that we are all grateful for her content and for her genuineness.
I pour myself into my job. My boss told me to take the weekend off. It’s been hellacious. I’ve realized I have very few relationships and they’re all superficial. And I have no life outside of work. It’s left a huge aching feeling that I “work through” by going to the office. I needed this video
My mom passed away 6 months ago. She was my light, the most positive person I've ever known. I lived with her after my divorce. I'm so glad I found your channel. My life is a LOT like yours. Thank you for what you do! ♥️♥️♥️
I was just crying throughout the video. Thank you for reminding me to feel my feelings. Being in a foreign country without my family and friends has led me to numb again. It's the numbing that snatches away the joy and the sorrows. It's better to feel different emotions than to "toughen up" and just float through life and not really letting go. Thank you ✨
Senior year of high school is actually killing me. I know that’s an exaggeration. But with zoom school and college apps, I can’t stop the feeling that I am just going through the motions.... I want to LIVE. But idk what that even means. Thank you for this, it made me feel a lot better. You just can’t stop inspiring people, can you?! 😁
Couldn’t agree more, I’m going through the exact same process right now. It feels like a never ending cycle of work, and trying to balance school with the college apps and my personal life is quite daunting, but I am sure that it will all be worth it in the end. Please keep me updated, I will too!
You have no idea how much I needed to hear this.... This one hit hard, "Loneliness isn't the physical absence of other people - it's the sense that you're not sharing anything that matters with anyone else." Damn. And to answer the question of what I'm putting off that will lead to a brighter future...It's that I've started an art business that had my full attention and passion. I was creative and learning about exciting things about how to grow and how to reach other artists, but all of a sudden it dropped off when I fell into a well of FOMO, depression, and an endless pit of loneliness. I need to keep on keeping on. Thank you, Row! I'm excited to see what else you add to the series. Thank you for your wisdom.
“Looking externally for internal problems.” So true and so hard to overcome. I have been trying to be mindful and get really engaged with every action I take. I have noticed that helps with focusing on the present and appreciating what I have rather than what I think I need to have to solve my problems. Thanks for sharing!
this really hits home for me as a freshman in college. i have been feeling lost and tried to fill this void of loneliness by keeping myself updated and distracted with friends. i would neglect sleep or work to talk to them over video call, or spend hours on social media. it leaves me feeling pretty drained by the end of the day. i absolutely dread being alone with my thoughts. but this video really puts things in perspective. i will definitely be reflecting and spend some more me time. you have been my favorite youtuber for awhile. thank you for all you do❤️
Thank you! My sense of loneliness increased when I was around co-workers and acquaintances where there was no connection or sense of belonging. But then I felt less lonely when I started Working From Home, I'm alone working from home but am no longer lonely because there's nobody around to make me feel excluded.
I would be open to some form of community/making friends through this. Some form of discussion or something. I have been manifesting to the universe that I find/make more relationships with people who think similarily!!
Thanks so much! I really need to work on myself. I am introverted and have been scapegoated by my fanily my whole life. I can't be alone too long or else my mind starts to become my enemy. I always distract myself with television, but on beautiful spring days like today I am so sad for not having people to hang out with. One day I will be strong and put everyone that bullied me in their place, but the first step is loving myself and my own company after they made me feel so unloveable. Thank you so much❤️
I'm currently a freshman in college and i was looking forward to meeting new people and hopefully making new friends because all of the friendships that I've had for the past 5 years have been so surface level. I have felt so lonely and had a meltdown today trying to explain to my mom how I felt, but wow watching this I feel so much more on the road to healing, as I really confronted my feelings and emotional triggers today. Thank you Rowena for your wisdom and sharing your story it made me feel so much less alone.
@@iPranjalSinha are you aware that by judging other people, you are shutting their tries down to be a better person. It really destructive, so please try to not do it anymore.
@@iPranjalSinha You can't judge someone's depth through a screen and telling people they're shallow is just an insanely mean thing to do. Also, by saying it's normal that everyone's a 'party animal' in college you're forgetting the one's that aren't, telling them they aren't normal. I hope you have a nice day, trying to reflect on life a bit instead of writing stuff like that
When Rowena started saying glitter sparkle, sparkle my heart danced with joy. I'm so happy and hope everyone gets to experience joy, peace, and love in their lives!!
I'm so glad i found this video. right now, I'm going through the loneliest feeling of my life ever. i feel really lonely and I don't enjoy things as much as I used to.
I needed this video right now! I just started my freshman year of college about a month ago and it has been the loneliest month of my life. I have been having a hard time making friends due to anxiety. I really need to learn that being alone is okay and I shouldn't rely on other people to make me feel happy.
As a new grad starting a new remote job in a new city this rlly hit hard... From social media I thought everyone was doing ok and I was the only one feeling this way. Rooting for all of you out there to have a reshaped mindset ❤️
I get this. I don't miss my narc family, but I miss the family I never had. But no matter how much I love and support myself that kind of miserable loneliness will never go away.
I think one of the best things about this video is the fact that the solution to not feeling lonely has nothing to do with finding people to hang out with. A lot of videos on youtube will tell you to just find people to hang out with when you feel lonely. But it's important to enjoy being alone. And what if you have no one to hang out with? What if you only have surface level friends? Or no friends at all? If you truly think hanging out with people will make you feel less lonely, you might desperately try finding a friend in anyone who gives you the time of day. Regardless of how compatible you might actually be with these people. That's what had led me to having so many toxic friends in the past. But if you love being alone, you can be comfortable when making friends because you know you're doing it because you genuinely like them. Not because you just don't want to be alone anymore. It's better to be alone than be with people who make you feel alone. And as Rowena says, everything is temporary.
Sagittarius: Leader, Motivator, Life lover - We love freedom BUT we NEED routines to stay focused - Afraid commitment because we don't want to commit to the wrong things - Too positive to accept the negative - Always wonder about the universe, self love and other people lives NOW it all makes sense why your videos always sparked smth in me. 🥰
Thank you for the video Rowena. Today is my birthday and I felt like you dropping this video was a message for me because this one of the things I wrote down on things I want to do in my 27th year which is falling in love with spending time alone again. Thank you!
❤️❤️❤️rings true... everything that I’ve needed to hear. Mom died 12 years ago and I drank the pain away. Recent breakup brings back this devastating loneliness again... befriending yourself is great advice ❤️
I believe that you can get through this, I wish you a lot of strength for the coming time! Remember what she said, everything is temporary and you will overcome this period of grief and loneliness and you will be giving yourself strength and be better again! Sending lots of love to you! ❤
Emotional discomfort and discord is like the waves in the ocean they come and recede like a flow in and out. The other is acknowledging that you probably have to make time to find your place of joy I make time to trail running ride my gravel push bike and ride my Harley. I also listen to vintage vinyl. It’s balance between work studying and companionship
Wow!! This was like a gift from the universe. I was just thinking of rewatching the video you had previously made on ‘the art of being alone but not lonely’! Friends around me have been chasing sporadic online dating relationships that I personally don’t resonate with, and had me thinking on relationships, solitude and happiness being alone. Thank you, thank you, thank you ❤️
I really want to thank you with all of my heart. You’ve made me feel very secure and stable in a moment where I feel useless, unliked, or even unworthy of life.
When you're 38, single and alone, it's hard to be positive that life will improve. All your age peers are married with kids and only want to be with similar. Sigh.
I feel your pain, I'm experiencing it at the age of 33 plus the covid hit and all the restrictions. Hard. Just want to let you know, you are not alone... that's all.
Everything that hasnt happened yet has a reason. Maybe if u did have a spouce and kids you would feel worse becuase u did do the necessary work to live a fulfilling life. These things completely change your life and you have to be ready for it. Take this chance to figure out what u need for yourself as a person to feel like you dont need someone else but yourself. The people surrounding u have different lives? Ofc u r gonna feel left out, so you look for people who are similar to you. Go out there and try new and different things. Covid makes this harder but it makes it harder for everyone so the mesures ppl take are the same to get to know new people. You can absolutely do this just realize you are the focus of your life so act like it! Always remember everything happens for a reason. This applies to everyone who feels the same ofc :)
@@g.h.5296 I wish you a lovely partner ♥. Another perspective : I am married, 38 but we dont have any children unfortunately. Tried for many years in vain. That has bought a lot of sadness : just me and my husband, what is the point? But I try to live a mindful happy life. I have a channel too by the way, you might enjoy it ♥
ممنونه كثير انتي شجاعة لتكلمك واضهارك نسختك القديمة وهذا يعني أنك تحبيها وتقدريها ❤ I feel I lack something , I need a person to full me , share my moments of life , be enough with just being yourself (l am accepting this part as much as I can its temporary)🍒 Gracias por todo. Soy de Irak ( estoy aprendiendo mi nuevo idioma)
hello early once again 🤎 thank you for always putting out content that actually help me push through what I’m going through with depression anxiety and thank you for being an inspiration to me. Love you and thank you for your encouragement to continue with my own channel too I really appreciate you ✨
I'm going through therapy and my theripist asked to understand the difference between being lonely and being alone. This video was educational and I am learning for my healing to feel not lonely.
i have graduated uni and atm i am feeling all over the place. Today i went on a hike after 2 months of pretty much being inside and i felt so much better
I am constantly surrounded by family but there were times where I felt so lonely. Now I am at peace and even enjoy my own company. Its all about healing properly and being at peace with yourself. Love the video. Your content allows me to put my crazy life in order. Keep up the good work
I am watching this video as I had a rough week emotionally but this video really helped me out. I’m a freshman in college and my fall semester didn’t go anything as planned from not living on campus to surgery and online school ,I had high expectations for the second semester. The issue is that everything I want requires work from myself which I wasn’t ready to put in. Like I mentioned I live off campus and my roommates are more like acquaintances than friends. I was feeling lonely but now I know that I am not alone. It will take time but I will find my people and find what works best for me. This was my sign to not give up and to just keep going so thank you.
I'm going to open my notes and take some notes. This really really helped. I've been feeling so stressed and so lonely lately. I have 0 friends and it gets hard sometimes to just be alone and not being able to share anything with anyone who cares to listen. It's like I have no connection with anyone. Thank you so much. I am really going to take notes from here and implement them. Love you.💙
Just finished watching this. This video totally saves my life. I cried so many nights recently feeling how lonely I am. So, I started searching for solutions on UA-cam. Then I found you. Thank you so much!
Thank you Rowena, I was really looking forward to your next video! 😊 This challenge can happen at any age, and more than once depending on the situations we face. One point I would respectfully like to add, is to not be afraid to seek help. In my lonely times, I was sometimes able to figure it out by myself, other times I got external help. I feel like we can get caught in the self reflection too deep, and we might not be equipped or have the internal resources at that moment to properly analyze ourselves. Either a true friend, a trusted family member or a professional can open our mind to seeing our situation from a different angle. It’s a journey, and we never stop learning 🤗
I hear you about needing to accept yourself and I have also been working on that recently. Thank you for the video! However my advice would be to keep your desire to be accepted by others separate from your own self-acceptance because you deserve to be accepted! You seem like such a kind person. Not being accepted can also cause loneliness if it happens with a lot of people in your life - which it does in mine
Wow.. I had a very rough and scary week and I'm still not feeling great, but this video reminded me of the good and made me a little more optimistic about the whole situation 😊 Thank you Rowena!! Literally every video of yours goes into my Self Help playlist. Also, I usually don't give a lot of compliments, but I just have to say that you look great! ✨
came back to this video to really sit with it and im even taking notes. i have adhd so i find ot super hard to sit with my thoughts cuz theyre always jumping from one thing to the next. i thought it was some bubble i need to burst and really sit with it trying to 'change myself' but now im understanding that this aspect doesnt need to chang. i just need to sit with myself and learn not to be desperate for company or for my phone, i can talk to myself and befriend myself and still have fun. its a huge shift in perspective since the moment i rad the title and got excited i found the magical cure VS me now writing this and i just wanted to say it here :)
Hi. I believe in my heart, our paths lead us to wisdom when we are meant to receive, when we are ready for it. Today I found your video. Although this is my first time here, I seriously could listen to this over and over. You have such a gentle soul. This is such amazing wisdom. Thank you so much for this.
The cycle you describe at the beginning is exactly how I was in my first semester at uni, I was so homesick and not aware of it, and going out drinking so much and doing things I still don't know why I did, things that weren't really me
Thank you. I am currently going through a lot as a college freshman, having the need to be a perfect daughter and sister, and trying my best for myself it just feels so overwhelming and I felt so lonely because I felt like my family does not want me around and I don’t have any friends. I really needed this I’m going to start my journey today. Thank you
I just got out of a year long relationship and realized that I've been entrusting all of my self worth and loneliness to my partner. It's very hard to find my own footing. I kept trying to distract the creeping loneliness and depression with cigs, alcohols, and outings but man I'm terrified of being alone in my room where I used to just call her and talk the rest if my days away with her. This video helped me realised what was wrong with the me and the relationship when I wasn't ready to admit that previously.
I have always loved being alone. I get along with myself the best. We like the same things. I don't understand when people seek random people just to spend their times with. Even when I am anxious, not happy with myself, depressed, stressed I don't even think about being with other people. I seek more alone time to work through those issues. I have friends and love spending quality time with them. But not to escape my loneliness.
Thank you for making this video. I felt like I couldn’t find comfort anywhere else and I think this will be able to help me someway on my path out of loneliness
Thank you so much for the last tip... Sometimes I feel like I should change my way of being when someone doesn't treat the same way as I do. Like I'm the one wrong. But as you mentioned, love is just love. It's not a transaction. I've felt so conflicted with that matter because I can't change the core of my being. I've felt this way with my parents lately, when love is not always reciprocated. But I will keep doing good things for them, I know good karma will keep coming my way.
This video came to me when I needed it the most, it's like you were talking to me directly and hitting all the points i was feeling and how to take the next step to bettering myself
wow thank you for feeling comfortable enough to share your private life with us - i really appreciate that! your advice is excellent and i will definitely use it! thanks again Rowena xx
its easy to feel very alone with these feelings of being alone. I almost become delusional from my depression and anxiety because I believe I don't deserve anything good, and am hyperfixated on not getting hurt again that it makes me avoid so much opportunity. I think I am being safe but I am not living a healthy life if I struggle to get out of my room. It's so nice to talk about this stuff. Thank you for your time and energy
That Jim Collins quote, oooof. Gave me chills. THANK YOU ROWENA!!! This video is extremely helpful, you're a star. I appreciate you sharing your journey with us, this potato sends you a big voice hug!!!!
'Depression is living in the past and anxiety is living in the future' (crying) This brought me such insight. thank you so much Rowena. Loooooooove youuuuuuu
so i dropped out of medical school last year, i was studying in the Czech Republic for a year and I stayed in Dubai for my whole life before that. I dropped out, moved back home with my parents and started to study law. I was 19 at the time. Before that, I was always the kind of person that made friends easily, quickly and was always able to find and maintain friendships quite easily. However, when i moved back I couldn't do that. All of a sudden I was confronted with this loneliness, a feeling very alien to me. I was going through a lot but I genuinely fell in love with myself over time, became a much better and honest person, protected myself from people who hurt me, listened to myself, learnt how to self soothe and believe in myself and motivate myself. I learnt the most about myself when I didn't have other people around to dilute my process, I still have connections with very few people, most of them don't even live here but the spaces that are empty now, i am really waiting to meet the right people who care for me as much as i care for them to fill these spaces. Old me would allow anyone and everyone in my space but rn i am just waiting to meet people on my wavelength, or in the least, true friends. I feel lonely from time to time, sometimes i feel like this feeling will never end, but i remind myself that nothing lasts forever and maybe someday i will meet my tribe that value and cherish my love and friendship as much as i love and cherish their friendship. I am also of the belief that whatever i am going through right now is making me stronger and is for my highest good. To whoever is reading this, you're lovely and i hope you will be happy someday xoxo
The timing 😭 Thank you Rowena, Because of you and your videos I’ve come to understand myself a bit more and I started to think about my life goals. This wouldnt happen if I hadnt stumbled upon your video which really opened a whole new world of self-awareness, self-love, and gratitude for me. ❤️
Thankyou so much for this. I’m crying earlier about how i feel that i’m so alone with my thoughts and they are ranging. And after watching this it calms my nerve. Loveyou! spread the love! God bless you!
Sometimes I feel lonely. This is why I listen to BTS or watch their videos to make myself feel happy. But there are times where it isn't enough and I just feel like sitting in silence. I hope everyone finds their outlet❤
hello fellow ARMY. 💜 i’m living on my own and don’t have friends in a foreign country right now. i feel so lonely as well. thank you for reminding me about this. 🥺🥲
I love you so much!!! My favorite UA-camr of all time. I appreciate every video you make and it’s pulled me out of a dark cloud and into the light. Thank you!
I am going through a really difficult phase in my life and I think that my main goal through this healing process is to feel complete with myself. My friend recommended this video. and I just want to say you are so sweet, thank you.
Ever notice during meditation that your own soul has been sitting there keeping you company and has been waiting for you to finally notice it?
What a beautiful thought
Omg love this perspective!
That’s such a cute way to put it :”
Yes! it is like coming home to yourself.
Read the untethered soul by Michael Singer! It goes into detail about this
“Zuko, you must look within yourself, to know yourself, to become your true self.”
Uncle Iroh. Love that guy.
Uncle iroh❤❤❤
🥺the best uncle
You must look within yourself to save yourself from your other self. Only then will your true self reveal itself.
I think thats how it went.
Uncle Iroh ❤️🥺
"THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN KNOWING AND TRULY ACCEPTING SOMETHING"
GAME CHANGER!!
👌
Hi David, you’re right... there’s a difference between knowing something and believing something...
I believe that I‘m alone? Or I know that I’m alone?
All i have to say is u nailed it 👍🏻🙏🏻🙌🏻
@@Tina_45 Actually she nailed it, I'm just quoting what she said that resonated with me the most.
@@nicolettaluongo3359 I recently realized that our bodies, our minds and even our five senses help give the illusion that we are alone. We can express ourselves and choose individually but ultimately we are all connected at source energetically. As I like to put it "We are all expressions of the one consciousness"
I've just started uni and my flatmates aren't really my type of people, but they are the only people I can spend time with because of the covid restrictions where I live. I feel like I can't be myself ever and I've been feeling extremely lonely lately, even though I'm not alone. I just want to feel accepted but at the same time I can't imagine being good friends with them. Idk why I'm saying all this, but I just wanted to get it off my chest :)
maybe you could talk to them about it ? Obviously not all at once but do see what you could have in common with them maybe they just don’t know how to make you feel included ;((
Hey keep your head up! I've been in the exact same situation and looking back, that year of living with girls I didn't totally see eye to eye with, ended up just reinforcing who I am and what my values are. Good luck! Believe in who you are
@@sanchsthetic Thank you for your advice, it means a lot!! I've kind of talked to them individually about it. I have been putting in a lot more effort in the last week and I have been hanging out with them everyday. However, they are quite judgemental people and I don't like how they talk about others. They don't really line up with my values. I just want to them to like me, even though I don't think we'll become close friends. I'm just not able to meet anyone else because of covid so I feel stuck.
@@volubleperspicacious thank you so much!! It's so comforting to know that someone else has been in the same position! I've been focusing so much on whether they like me or not that I've forgotten that it doesn't actually matter, so long as I like myself. So thank you for the reminder!
Sometimes the hardest "alone" is when you're with others who make you uncomfortable.
crying cause this is exactly what i needed today
Me too, I needed this so badly
i came to the comments section to write the same. universe is truly magical💛
ME TOO!
I feel you 💗💗
Sending love and suppott
I always have this wise words in my head when i feel down: let it hurt, let it bleed, let is heal, and let it go.
Beautiful
wow thank you! this is what i truly needed today
Something that has helped me appreciate my loneliness is pushing myself to try new things on my own. I feel like when you try new things (especially on your own) it teaches you that you’re capable of more than you realize and gives a huge confidence boost, and this can slowly help you grow more comfortable with doing things by yourself. ☺️
Also, I think it’s better to be alone than to be in the wrong company. Now I’ve come to love/prefer my solitude over meaningless outings with people, no more wasting time here and there, doing XYZ. Loved the video rowena. ❤️
Yessss, THIS!
I agree with every word in this comment 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
Off topic you are gorgeous!
Like what type of new things?
I recently graduated from college but staying in our little college town bc of work but Im scared to realize that I don’t have many friends, and the ones I do have are either gone or graduated as well. Ive been feeling very lonely and being alone is scary and intimidating for me so every day is a challenge to do things on my own. I also miss my family sooo much and especially my sisters and just having people surrounding me so this video and this comment specifically is really a challenge that im hoping to overcome! 🤧
If you make a podcast, imma be there asap
omg please! i really hope rowena makes a podcast
the voice is so soothing
Really needed this. Thank you ..this is life changing.
🙋♀️
I used to spend A LOT of time alone, I had almost no friends and usually really by myself.
I started loving it so much that when i finally did have a steady relationship and now kids, it was very hard for me to give that alone time up.
I even 'mourned' that time and freedom up until my son was well over a year old.
I love my family and have found a way to adjust now, but it's a special season if you're able to have that much alone time.
Maybe this could give a view on this from a different persective :)
Year late but this and what Rowena said is not only an eye opener but kind of a scary way to look at things (I'm grateful for it tho). I am a person that doesn't mind being alone when in the comforts of my own home but do crave intimate relationships (romantic/platonic) and do feel misunderstood more than half the time. I digress, I fixate over being alone romantically a lot but to think about barely having time to myself has made me appreciate where I am now a bit more 😂😅. Family is beautiful and ofc as your son gets older you will have more time to yourself 😄
In a relationship, I find that the person that I’m with is always competing with my solitude.
Love this
A related quote:
"I believe I know the only cure, which is to make one's center of life inside of one's self, not selfishly or excludingly, but with a kind of unassailable serenity -- to decorate one's inner house so richly that one is content there, glad to welcome anyone who wants to come and stay, but happy all the same when one is inevitably alone." -Edith Wharton
thank you for helping me decorate my inner house
omg I love the quote so much! Thanks for sharing!
I hope she knows how many people she inspires and helps. This is a hard topic to talk about and personally I still feel uncomfortable when I reflect back. I’m sure she’s a mentor to most of us and I can say that we are all grateful for her content and for her genuineness.
I pour myself into my job. My boss told me to take the weekend off. It’s been hellacious. I’ve realized I have very few relationships and they’re all superficial. And I have no life outside of work. It’s left a huge aching feeling that I “work through” by going to the office. I needed this video
My mom passed away 6 months ago. She was my light, the most positive person I've ever known. I lived with her after my divorce. I'm so glad I found your channel. My life is a LOT like yours. Thank you for what you do! ♥️♥️♥️
I was just crying throughout the video. Thank you for reminding me to feel my feelings. Being in a foreign country without my family and friends has led me to numb again. It's the numbing that snatches away the joy and the sorrows. It's better to feel different emotions than to "toughen up" and just float through life and not really letting go.
Thank you ✨
Senior year of high school is actually killing me. I know that’s an exaggeration. But with zoom school and college apps, I can’t stop the feeling that I am just going through the motions.... I want to LIVE. But idk what that even means. Thank you for this, it made me feel a lot better. You just can’t stop inspiring people, can you?! 😁
Couldn’t agree more, I’m going through the exact same process right now. It feels like a never ending cycle of work, and trying to balance school with the college apps and my personal life is quite daunting, but I am sure that it will all be worth it in the end. Please keep me updated, I will too!
Salma yesss! Glad I’m not the only one
Hahaha. Inspiring others is to Rowena what cookies are to the cookie monster. She can't get enough of it. xD
I feel the same way.. wanna be friends?🙈
@@makennabowens9004 omg yes lol
You have no idea how much I needed to hear this.... This one hit hard, "Loneliness isn't the physical absence of other people - it's the sense that you're not sharing anything that matters with anyone else." Damn. And to answer the question of what I'm putting off that will lead to a brighter future...It's that I've started an art business that had my full attention and passion. I was creative and learning about exciting things about how to grow and how to reach other artists, but all of a sudden it dropped off when I fell into a well of FOMO, depression, and an endless pit of loneliness. I need to keep on keeping on. Thank you, Row! I'm excited to see what else you add to the series. Thank you for your wisdom.
i love and needed this thx queen 😌
i'm in the depths of having an existential crisis at the moment and you worded every. single. thought. so. beautifully.
“Looking externally for internal problems.” So true and so hard to overcome. I have been trying to be mindful and get really engaged with every action I take. I have noticed that helps with focusing on the present and appreciating what I have rather than what I think I need to have to solve my problems. Thanks for sharing!
this really hits home for me as a freshman in college. i have been feeling lost and tried to fill this void of loneliness by keeping myself updated and distracted with friends. i would neglect sleep or work to talk to them over video call, or spend hours on social media. it leaves me feeling pretty drained by the end of the day. i absolutely dread being alone with my thoughts. but this video really puts things in perspective. i will definitely be reflecting and spend some more me time. you have been my favorite youtuber for awhile. thank you for all you do❤️
i'm now a sophomore, i felt the same way last year too :/ hang in there, and stay true to yourself, you got this 💗
Thank you!
My sense of loneliness increased when I was around co-workers and acquaintances where there was no connection or sense of belonging.
But then I felt less lonely when I started Working From Home, I'm alone working from home but am no longer lonely because there's nobody around to make me feel excluded.
I would be open to some form of community/making friends through this. Some form of discussion or something. I have been manifesting to the universe that I find/make more relationships with people who think similarily!!
Such a lovely idea!
This is one of those ideas that is so good it makes you say to yourself: WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT!?
Great idea!
a discord would be really nice!
Sounds like a really nice idea to explore!
Thanks so much! I really need to work on myself. I am introverted and have been scapegoated by my fanily my whole life. I can't be alone too long or else my mind starts to become my enemy. I always distract myself with television, but on beautiful spring days like today I am so sad for not having people to hang out with. One day I will be strong and put everyone that bullied me in their place, but the first step is loving myself and my own company after they made me feel so unloveable. Thank you so much❤️
I love it when people that actually went through it and found a way to overcome, try to share what they knew, what helped them, and to help others 🙏😇🌈
I'm currently a freshman in college and i was looking forward to meeting new people and hopefully making new friends because all of the friendships that I've had for the past 5 years have been so surface level. I have felt so lonely and had a meltdown today trying to explain to my mom how I felt, but wow watching this I feel so much more on the road to healing, as I really confronted my feelings and emotional triggers today. Thank you Rowena for your wisdom and sharing your story it made me feel so much less alone.
ok hear me out:: merch that says “Alone not Lonely” in a cute font on like a hoodie or beanie- it would be so cute ❤️
I still cannot believe she used to be a party girl
@@iPranjalSinha are you aware that by judging other people, you are shutting their tries down to be a better person. It really destructive, so please try to not do it anymore.
@@iPranjalSinha Chile luv
Pranjal Sinha I am in College and not a party animal - so not all people are?
@@iPranjalSinha You can't judge someone's depth through a screen and telling people they're shallow is just an insanely mean thing to do.
Also, by saying it's normal that everyone's a 'party animal' in college you're forgetting the one's that aren't, telling them they aren't normal.
I hope you have a nice day, trying to reflect on life a bit instead of writing stuff like that
@@noctyris2887 Well said!
When Rowena started saying glitter sparkle, sparkle my heart danced with joy. I'm so happy and hope everyone gets to experience joy, peace, and love in their lives!!
I needed the heck out of this video , genuinely A BIG Thanks😊
I'm so glad i found this video. right now, I'm going through the loneliest feeling of my life ever. i feel really lonely and I don't enjoy things as much as I used to.
Being not alone and lonely is the most painful quadrant for me. I love how you talk about this topic. Thanks for the great video!
A feeling only last for 90 seconds. Thank you for reminding me nothing is permanent. Sending love to all of us 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛
i just started this self growth journey and your videos are really helping me. thank you so much
really needed this after following my gut and telling a tinder date he wasn't right for me yesterday - I need to believe that I'm on the right path
I needed this video right now! I just started my freshman year of college about a month ago and it has been the loneliest month of my life. I have been having a hard time making friends due to anxiety. I really need to learn that being alone is okay and I shouldn't rely on other people to make me feel happy.
Haven't even watched the video yet, am still in the premiere waiting, but I already know it's going to be so great!!
Welp, I was right :))
As a software developer, I would have never imagined that the people in party pics could be lonely!
I've been crying for weeks straight every night due to the loss of a loved one and i really needed that. Thank you♡♡
As a new grad starting a new remote job in a new city this rlly hit hard... From social media I thought everyone was doing ok and I was the only one feeling this way. Rooting for all of you out there to have a reshaped mindset ❤️
I get this. I don't miss my narc family, but I miss the family I never had. But no matter how much I love and support myself that kind of miserable loneliness will never go away.
I think one of the best things about this video is the fact that the solution to not feeling lonely has nothing to do with finding people to hang out with. A lot of videos on youtube will tell you to just find people to hang out with when you feel lonely. But it's important to enjoy being alone. And what if you have no one to hang out with? What if you only have surface level friends? Or no friends at all? If you truly think hanging out with people will make you feel less lonely, you might desperately try finding a friend in anyone who gives you the time of day. Regardless of how compatible you might actually be with these people. That's what had led me to having so many toxic friends in the past. But if you love being alone, you can be comfortable when making friends because you know you're doing it because you genuinely like them. Not because you just don't want to be alone anymore. It's better to be alone than be with people who make you feel alone. And as Rowena says, everything is temporary.
Holy shit this is one of the most helpful things I've ever seen/heard. Nothing has ever been so right to hear
Your pfp is so beautiful
Sagittarius: Leader, Motivator, Life lover
- We love freedom BUT we NEED routines to stay focused
- Afraid commitment because we don't want to commit to the wrong things
- Too positive to accept the negative
- Always wonder about the universe, self love and other people lives
NOW it all makes sense why your videos always sparked smth in me. 🥰
Wow! When she said loneliness is when you’re not sharing anything that matters with anyone else 🤯. That one sentence just snapped me.
you allowed yourself to feel. I hear you. you checked in on yourself and that is so healing.
Thank you for the video Rowena. Today is my birthday and I felt like you dropping this video was a message for me because this one of the things I wrote down on things I want to do in my 27th year which is falling in love with spending time alone again.
Thank you!
❤️❤️❤️rings true... everything that I’ve needed to hear. Mom died 12 years ago and I drank the pain away. Recent breakup brings back this devastating loneliness again... befriending yourself is great advice ❤️
I believe that you can get through this, I wish you a lot of strength for the coming time! Remember what she said, everything is temporary and you will overcome this period of grief and loneliness and you will be giving yourself strength and be better again! Sending lots of love to you! ❤
Emotional discomfort and discord is like the waves in the ocean they come and recede like a flow in and out. The other is acknowledging that you probably have to make time to find your place of joy I make time to trail running ride my gravel push bike and ride my Harley. I also listen to vintage vinyl. It’s balance between work studying and companionship
Wow!! This was like a gift from the universe. I was just thinking of rewatching the video you had previously made on ‘the art of being alone but not lonely’! Friends around me have been chasing sporadic online dating relationships that I personally don’t resonate with, and had me thinking on relationships, solitude and happiness being alone. Thank you, thank you, thank you ❤️
I really want to thank you with all of my heart. You’ve made me feel very secure and stable in a moment where I feel useless, unliked, or even unworthy of life.
you are so so worthy of life and living :') sending you the biggest, warmest virtual hug!!
When you're 38, single and alone, it's hard to be positive that life will improve. All your age peers are married with kids and only want to be with similar. Sigh.
Youre right. It makes me sad too. And everyone is asking why you havent a family or kids yet
I feel your pain, I'm experiencing it at the age of 33 plus the covid hit and all the restrictions. Hard. Just want to let you know, you are not alone... that's all.
Everything that hasnt happened yet has a reason. Maybe if u did have a spouce and kids you would feel worse becuase u did do the necessary work to live a fulfilling life. These things completely change your life and you have to be ready for it. Take this chance to figure out what u need for yourself as a person to feel like you dont need someone else but yourself. The people surrounding u have different lives? Ofc u r gonna feel left out, so you look for people who are similar to you. Go out there and try new and different things. Covid makes this harder but it makes it harder for everyone so the mesures ppl take are the same to get to know new people. You can absolutely do this just realize you are the focus of your life so act like it! Always remember everything happens for a reason. This applies to everyone who feels the same ofc :)
@@g.h.5296 I wish you a lovely partner ♥. Another perspective : I am married, 38 but we dont have any children unfortunately. Tried for many years in vain. That has bought a lot of sadness : just me and my husband, what is the point? But I try to live a mindful happy life. I have a channel too by the way, you might enjoy it ♥
You've gotta connect to other people in the same situation
ممنونه كثير انتي شجاعة لتكلمك واضهارك نسختك القديمة وهذا يعني أنك تحبيها وتقدريها ❤
I feel I lack something , I need a person to full me , share my moments of life , be enough with just being yourself (l am accepting this part as much as I can its temporary)🍒
Gracias por todo. Soy de Irak ( estoy aprendiendo mi nuevo idioma)
hello early once again 🤎 thank you for always putting out content that actually help me push through what I’m going through with depression anxiety and thank you for being an inspiration to me. Love you and thank you for your encouragement to continue with my own channel too I really appreciate you ✨
I'm going through therapy and my theripist asked to understand the difference between being lonely and being alone. This video was educational and I am learning for my healing to feel not lonely.
i have graduated uni and atm i am feeling all over the place. Today i went on a hike after 2 months of pretty much being inside and i felt so much better
I am constantly surrounded by family but there were times where I felt so lonely. Now I am at peace and even enjoy my own company. Its all about healing properly and being at peace with yourself. Love the video. Your content allows me to put my crazy life in order. Keep up the good work
I am watching this video as I had a rough week emotionally but this video really helped me out. I’m a freshman in college and my fall semester didn’t go anything as planned from not living on campus to surgery and online school ,I had high expectations for the second semester. The issue is that everything I want requires work from myself which I wasn’t ready to put in. Like I mentioned I live off campus and my roommates are more like acquaintances than friends. I was feeling lonely but now I know that I am not alone. It will take time but I will find my people and find what works best for me. This was my sign to not give up and to just keep going so thank you.
I'm going to open my notes and take some notes. This really really helped. I've been feeling so stressed and so lonely lately. I have 0 friends and it gets hard sometimes to just be alone and not being able to share anything with anyone who cares to listen. It's like I have no connection with anyone. Thank you so much. I am really going to take notes from here and implement them. Love you.💙
Overtime I’ve learned to love my solitude and that being alone doesn’t mean being lonely. ❤️
Just finished watching this. This video totally saves my life. I cried so many nights recently feeling how lonely I am. So, I started searching for solutions on UA-cam. Then I found you. Thank you so much!
Thank you Rowena, I was really looking forward to your next video! 😊 This challenge can happen at any age, and more than once depending on the situations we face. One point I would respectfully like to add, is to not be afraid to seek help. In my lonely times, I was sometimes able to figure it out by myself, other times I got external help. I feel like we can get caught in the self reflection too deep, and we might not be equipped or have the internal resources at that moment to properly analyze ourselves. Either a true friend, a trusted family member or a professional can open our mind to seeing our situation from a different angle. It’s a journey, and we never stop learning 🤗
Enjoying the smell of the garden from last night's rain plus watching ur video is perfect combo.
Reframe your circumstances!!! You don't know how much this video just helped me.
I hear you about needing to accept yourself and I have also been working on that recently. Thank you for the video! However my advice would be to keep your desire to be accepted by others separate from your own self-acceptance because you deserve to be accepted! You seem like such a kind person. Not being accepted can also cause loneliness if it happens with a lot of people in your life - which it does in mine
Wow.. I had a very rough and scary week and I'm still not feeling great, but this video reminded me of the good and made me a little more optimistic about the whole situation 😊 Thank you Rowena!! Literally every video of yours goes into my Self Help playlist.
Also, I usually don't give a lot of compliments, but I just have to say that you look great! ✨
came back to this video to really sit with it and im even taking notes. i have adhd so i find ot super hard to sit with my thoughts cuz theyre always jumping from one thing to the next. i thought it was some bubble i need to burst and really sit with it trying to 'change myself' but now im understanding that this aspect doesnt need to chang. i just need to sit with myself and learn not to be desperate for company or for my phone, i can talk to myself and befriend myself and still have fun.
its a huge shift in perspective since the moment i rad the title and got excited i found the magical cure VS me now writing this and i just wanted to say it here :)
Hi. I believe in my heart, our paths lead us to wisdom when we are meant to receive, when we are ready for it. Today I found your video. Although this is my first time here, I seriously could listen to this over and over. You have such a gentle soul. This is such amazing wisdom. Thank you so much for this.
The cycle you describe at the beginning is exactly how I was in my first semester at uni, I was so homesick and not aware of it, and going out drinking so much and doing things I still don't know why I did, things that weren't really me
This video hit me hard. when you mentioned about high-functioning depression, I realized, I related and think that maybe I also have that.
Thank you. I am currently going through a lot as a college freshman, having the need to be a perfect daughter and sister, and trying my best for myself it just feels so overwhelming and I felt so lonely because I felt like my family does not want me around and I don’t have any friends. I really needed this I’m going to start my journey today. Thank you
I just got out of a year long relationship and realized that I've been entrusting all of my self worth and loneliness to my partner. It's very hard to find my own footing. I kept trying to distract the creeping loneliness and depression with cigs, alcohols, and outings but man I'm terrified of being alone in my room where I used to just call her and talk the rest if my days away with her. This video helped me realised what was wrong with the me and the relationship when I wasn't ready to admit that previously.
Happy to see you again uploading a new content ♡
I have always loved being alone. I get along with myself the best. We like the same things. I don't understand when people seek random people just to spend their times with. Even when I am anxious, not happy with myself, depressed, stressed I don't even think about being with other people. I seek more alone time to work through those issues. I have friends and love spending quality time with them. But not to escape my loneliness.
Thank you for making this video. I felt like I couldn’t find comfort anywhere else and I think this will be able to help me someway on my path out of loneliness
Thank you so much for the last tip... Sometimes I feel like I should change my way of being when someone doesn't treat the same way as I do. Like I'm the one wrong. But as you mentioned, love is just love. It's not a transaction. I've felt so conflicted with that matter because I can't change the core of my being. I've felt this way with my parents lately, when love is not always reciprocated. But I will keep doing good things for them, I know good karma will keep coming my way.
I like how you talk and the sense you share to your viewers. who's watching this during pandemic?
Sometimes, it feels I’m the only one having these feelings. Thank you for your video 💜
This video came to me when I needed it the most, it's like you were talking to me directly and hitting all the points i was feeling and how to take the next step to bettering myself
I always smile or rather my whole being smiles when you say"sweetest potatoes"
You're lounge the sister/best friend I had. Love you ❤️💛
who needs therapy when we have this queen right here 💗💗 thankkk youuu!!!
Me but she's awsommmmmme
wow thank you for feeling comfortable enough to share your private life with us - i really appreciate that! your advice is excellent and i will definitely use it! thanks again Rowena xx
i'm not joking at all, this was the exact thing I needed to hear to change my mindset. thank you
its easy to feel very alone with these feelings of being alone. I almost become delusional from my depression and anxiety because I believe I don't deserve anything good, and am hyperfixated on not getting hurt again that it makes me avoid so much opportunity. I think I am being safe but I am not living a healthy life if I struggle to get out of my room. It's so nice to talk about this stuff. Thank you for your time and energy
That Jim Collins quote, oooof. Gave me chills. THANK YOU ROWENA!!! This video is extremely helpful, you're a star. I appreciate you sharing your journey with us, this potato sends you a big voice hug!!!!
'Depression is living in the past and anxiety is living in the future' (crying) This brought me such insight. thank you so much Rowena. Loooooooove youuuuuuu
I've been putting off watching this because it's hard to think about/acknowledge my loneliness, but I'm glad I finally watched. I need this today.
You’re so genuinely beautiful, not only on the outside, but on the inside and in your presence, thank you for sharing your story 💕
To be alone is better than fake friends!!!
so i dropped out of medical school last year, i was studying in the Czech Republic for a year and I stayed in Dubai for my whole life before that. I dropped out, moved back home with my parents and started to study law. I was 19 at the time. Before that, I was always the kind of person that made friends easily, quickly and was always able to find and maintain friendships quite easily. However, when i moved back I couldn't do that. All of a sudden I was confronted with this loneliness, a feeling very alien to me. I was going through a lot but I genuinely fell in love with myself over time, became a much better and honest person, protected myself from people who hurt me, listened to myself, learnt how to self soothe and believe in myself and motivate myself. I learnt the most about myself when I didn't have other people around to dilute my process, I still have connections with very few people, most of them don't even live here but the spaces that are empty now, i am really waiting to meet the right people who care for me as much as i care for them to fill these spaces. Old me would allow anyone and everyone in my space but rn i am just waiting to meet people on my wavelength, or in the least, true friends. I feel lonely from time to time, sometimes i feel like this feeling will never end, but i remind myself that nothing lasts forever and maybe someday i will meet my tribe that value and cherish my love and friendship as much as i love and cherish their friendship. I am also of the belief that whatever i am going through right now is making me stronger and is for my highest good. To whoever is reading this, you're lovely and i hope you will be happy someday xoxo
It definitely comforts me to remember how small I am. I always hear/read that our chances of existing are 1/400 trillion. 👍🏻
This has been the most helpful advice about loneliness that I’ve received so far. Thank you so much ❤
In the solitude of your own company is where you will find yourself.
The timing 😭
Thank you Rowena, Because of you and your videos I’ve come to understand myself a bit more and I started to think about my life goals. This wouldnt happen if I hadnt stumbled upon your video which really opened a whole new world of self-awareness, self-love, and gratitude for me. ❤️
I have good family relationships but I don’t have friends or a bf and it makes me feel really isolated sometimes
Me too 😢
Same🥺
Thankyou so much for this. I’m crying earlier about how i feel that i’m so alone with my thoughts and they are ranging. And after
watching this it calms my nerve. Loveyou! spread the love! God bless you!
I felt the pressure in my head melt away, thank you.
Sometimes I feel lonely. This is why I listen to BTS or watch their videos to make myself feel happy. But there are times where it isn't enough and I just feel like sitting in silence. I hope everyone finds their outlet❤
hello fellow ARMY. 💜 i’m living on my own and don’t have friends in a foreign country right now. i feel so lonely as well. thank you for reminding me about this. 🥺🥲
@@MisterKairos825 I'm sorry. I know it can be hard being in a new place by yourself, but things will get better💜
YOU NEED YOUR OWN PODCAST THIS DAMN MOMENT
I love you so much!!! My favorite UA-camr of all time. I appreciate every video you make and it’s pulled me out of a dark cloud and into the light. Thank you!
I am going through a really difficult phase in my life and I think that my main goal through this healing process is to feel complete with myself. My friend recommended this video. and I just want to say you are so sweet, thank you.