Never felt safe at home. Growing up on the farm was a hardship, but also gave me contact with animals and an opportunity to be outdoor. To this day ( I am 75) being outside either gardening or walking, hiking offers safety. Mom was “different” than other mothers, I noticed. My neighbor saved me from insanity. She never hit her children and had a gift for listening. She was even interested in what I had to say. I loved her dearly and secretly bc mother was jealous and punished me for running across the road to be in Michalina’s home. To this day I am committed to show kindness to any kid crossing my path in honor of this woman. I am trapped in trauma bond with my husband if 48 years. This is very hard to admit to myself but now I am putting this in writing - first time. Wishing all seekers of healing, peace ☮️ and love wherever you can find it. Thank you, Jim.
At first, I couldn't fully understand why I would go for emotionally unavailable, abusive partners or just "friends" in general. It took me years to work out that both my parents were narcissistic. 1 was alcoholic the other, physically abusive. I don't know if I'll ever function normally in a healthy relationship. For the past 7 years I've been thinking that I'm not relationship material and it's totally ok. Being single is the right thing for me.
I have autism and I had a narcissistic mum. I always experienced trauma as a child because I had more sensory and development problems and I had to keep quiet about it. I grew up on a farm and my mum used to hit me and lock me in my bedroom. My outlet was to chase down and abuse the animals. I hated myself for a long time over being secretly sadistic and my mum didn't want to give me love and affection if I didn't give her reason to, but she was always so loving and caring towards others and right in front of me. It hurt and I became so cruel that I started to verbally and emotionally abuse my own mother on a daily basis as I got older. She didn't show me love and she never listened to me so why should I have had to give her anything except what deep in my heart I felt she deserved from me all this time? So even though it hurt me that I was hurting her, I didn't care. Then she told people I have a 'temper' problem, that she's scared of me, that she doesn't know what I'm capable of anymore... but I left home at 19 and thank god I did. I'm 24 now and we never got back in touch.
Definitely at the point of finding the head, and "popping" it if you will. My mother's mother had 5 children, and was on a fixed income so she could not afford to send her oldest girls to college, or sustain their interests. However, she missed an opportunity to leave home after she was done with her military stint - I know its something that she regrets, considering that I'm nurturing my interests, and moved away.
I have autism and I had a narcissistic mum. I always experienced trauma as a child because I had more sensory and development problems and I had to keep quiet about it. I grew up on a farm and my mum used to hit me and lock me in my bedroom. My outlet was to chase down and abuse the animals. I hated myself for a long time over being secretly sadistic and my mum didn't want to give me love and affection if I didn't give her reason to, but she was always so loving and caring towards others and right in front of me. It hurt and I became so cruel that I started to verbally and emotionally abuse my own mother on a daily basis as I got older. She didn't show me love and she never listened to me so why should I have had to give her anything except what deep in my heart I felt she deserved from me all this time? So even though it hurt me that I was hurting her, I didn't care. Then she told people I have a 'temper' problem, that she's scared of me, that she doesn't know what I'm capable of anymore... but I left home at 19 and thank god I did. I'm 24 now and we never got back in touch.
Never felt safe at home. Growing up on the farm was a hardship, but also gave me contact with animals and an opportunity to be outdoor. To this day ( I am 75) being outside either gardening or walking, hiking offers safety. Mom was “different” than other mothers, I noticed. My neighbor saved me from insanity. She never hit her children and had a gift for listening. She was even interested in what I had to say. I loved her dearly and secretly bc mother was jealous and punished me for running across the road to be in Michalina’s home. To this day I am committed to show kindness to any kid crossing my path in honor of this woman. I am trapped in trauma bond with my husband if 48 years. This is very hard to admit to myself but now I am putting this in writing - first time. Wishing all seekers of healing, peace ☮️ and love wherever you can find it. Thank you, Jim.
I had a friend who’s family was the only model of normalcy for me as a teenager. I’m so grateful for them. Hugs ❤
Incredibly spot on and healing information;
Thank you so much!!!!
Really great video. And loved the positive ending about self compassion and healing. Bring on that journey❤
100%. Thanks Jim for sharing. This was spot on.
At first, I couldn't fully understand why I would go for emotionally unavailable, abusive partners or just "friends" in general.
It took me years to work out that both my parents were narcissistic. 1 was alcoholic the other, physically abusive.
I don't know if I'll ever function normally in a healthy relationship.
For the past 7 years I've been thinking that I'm not relationship material and it's totally ok. Being single is the right thing for me.
I have autism and I had a narcissistic mum. I always experienced trauma as a child because I had more sensory and development problems and I had to keep quiet about it. I grew up on a farm and my mum used to hit me and lock me in my bedroom. My outlet was to chase down and abuse the animals. I hated myself for a long time over being secretly sadistic and my mum didn't want to give me love and affection if I didn't give her reason to, but she was always so loving and caring towards others and right in front of me. It hurt and I became so cruel that I started to verbally and emotionally abuse my own mother on a daily basis as I got older. She didn't show me love and she never listened to me so why should I have had to give her anything except what deep in my heart I felt she deserved from me all this time? So even though it hurt me that I was hurting her, I didn't care. Then she told people I have a 'temper' problem, that she's scared of me, that she doesn't know what I'm capable of anymore... but I left home at 19 and thank god I did. I'm 24 now and we never got back in touch.
Definitely at the point of finding the head, and "popping" it if you will. My mother's mother had 5 children, and was on a fixed income so she could not afford to send her oldest girls to college, or sustain their interests. However, she missed an opportunity to leave home after she was done with her military stint - I know its something that she regrets, considering that I'm nurturing my interests, and moved away.
I have autism and I had a narcissistic mum. I always experienced trauma as a child because I had more sensory and development problems and I had to keep quiet about it. I grew up on a farm and my mum used to hit me and lock me in my bedroom. My outlet was to chase down and abuse the animals. I hated myself for a long time over being secretly sadistic and my mum didn't want to give me love and affection if I didn't give her reason to, but she was always so loving and caring towards others and right in front of me. It hurt and I became so cruel that I started to verbally and emotionally abuse my own mother on a daily basis as I got older. She didn't show me love and she never listened to me so why should I have had to give her anything except what deep in my heart I felt she deserved from me all this time? So even though it hurt me that I was hurting her, I didn't care. Then she told people I have a 'temper' problem, that she's scared of me, that she doesn't know what I'm capable of anymore... but I left home at 19 and thank god I did. I'm 24 now and we never got back in touch.