Citizen Soldier - Always December (First Time Reaction)
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- Опубліковано 18 тра 2024
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I do not own or claim to own the video represented in my reaction video. I am solely reacting to what was produced and posted. ALL credits go to the originator/producer of the video posted ( • Citizen Soldier - Alwa... ). I withdraw all claims except for which is solely mine; which may be represented through words, a statement, and/or clothing.
I DO NOT HAVE THE COPYRIGHT FOR THIS SONG AND THIS MUSIC VIDEO
Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use. - Розваги
This is my favorite song. I relate to it so strongly. This is my life every day. I’s always December. I was crying until you said it’s hot outside…so thank you for the laugh. Sometimes things don’t get better. When you’ve lost the love of your life (40 years married) even years later the pain is too great. I am old and alone, no future. I have tried to kill my self self many times. Even failed that. I used to self harm. When my husband was dying of lung cancer 11 years ago I was in the midst of the suicide attempts, the self harm and the guilt I feel for putting him through all that and then he died New Year’s Eve 2012 and I am still consumed by guilt. I cannot believe I have lived almost 11 years without him. Today is a bad day. I’ve taken 6 Ativan because I don’t want to think. I’m so tired and apathetic and I should just shut up and stop whining. I just came across you’re channel. I am a fan of Citizen soldier and home free. Enjoying your videos. Thank you.
Everytime I hear that chorus, i always tear up- cant just only be me, right?
its not
Whenever 'Always December' plays, it stirs up memories of a haunting past, leaving me with this trembling, fearful demeanor around anything loud or violent.
What a reaction ! 🥺 You felt with this song so much like everybody did when they heard this masterpiece ! It's a proof, that Citizen Soldier isn't just a band, no they are lifesavers like you buddy when you want to motivate us to stay strong and live the life ! Thanks friend ! 💜;🥺
This song inspired a poem (like this is the 7th time)
Here's the poem
Endless December
It's snowing in the middle of July.
At least that's just another day here in my mind.
Another day of an endless December.
I can't escape this endless December inside of me.
I've been running from this endless December for most of my damn life.
Years pass but the colors stay the same,here in an endless December.
I can feel my feelings fading so fast.
It's like 👍watching my own life through glass.
No one sees but it's an endless December in me.
It's always pouring rain anywhere I go.
Seasons never change here inside me and it's killing me!
No one sees this endless December in me.
I try so hard to be brave, but the reasons this life is worth living get hard to remember when living in an endless December.
Black and white are the only colors I see in an endless December.
You may think of joy and happiness when you think of December.
A sunless sky is stuck on repeat.
I hold it all down, I don't want anyone to feel this but me.
The only time I'm free from this endless December is when I'm asleep.
The more I think the more I feel myself sink.
Sink back to this empty place.
It's a nightmare I can't explain.
I can't outrun the cold, when it's in my head.
Wishing I was dead is getting old.
As this overcast suffocates me, I'm done waiting on some sign of spring.
I would rather lay here in my bed, than to have to face what lives here in my head.
Hell just being awake hurts more than I can ever explain.
Sometimes the cruelest pain is to feel nothing at all.
That's just an endless December.
Liz/Numa
Amazing
Watching this in December 2022, never gonna forget these
They wrote a song saying everything I never could.
A lot of people like me that battle with depression most of the time ain't got nobody to turn to to ask for help so we suffer in silence but thanks to citizen soldier and his music it puts how people like me feel into words of how we feel on a daily basis
I LOVED YOUR REACTION... WITHOUT DOUBT, MY FAVORITE BAND...
I CRED WHEN LISTENING TO IT, I CRED TOGETHER WITH YOU...
A SONG THAT LEAVES US MUTE, IT'S A TEMON... I LOVE YOU !!
Brutal
So sorry for your loss! Love these videos btw
I feel like a lot of Citizen Soldiers songs hit close to home for me. I mean, every song of his I've heard so far I could relate to.
Thank you for a reaction video, I've been waiting for it. I like that you are so true. There're no fake emotions. Just true. I like people that being honest with their emotions and words. I admire you.
I realized that sitizen soldier is being honest with us about their feelings and about our feelings too. They keep telling that it's okay to feel something like that. It's okay to let others know about it and that we are not alone with it. It's kinda important support. There are no extra words that don't make sense. I admire them too.
What a pity that I didn't heard about them earlier. However, everything is going to be as it goes. They are created to illuminate the path of people and show the difficulties that many people have to face on a daily basis. Having them is really valuable.
I found that music and making story scenarios based off how I feel is amazing therapy and helps me get through the day. Citizen Soldier's music is especially amazing for music therapy as I feel it allows you to feel emotions and let them out in a positive way instead of holding it all in till you experience a mental breakdown or something along the lines.
Your reaction was like always so real! Like they said under the song, sometimes you're numb and it helped me to realize what was wrong with me. I felt numb for a while now. Citizen Soldier are putting words you can't find out there to understand yourself and that's why they're so great! I hope that you'll get to feel better soon! Great tattoos btw!
God I've already listened to this a few times and it still makes me cry! I think because it reminds me of when I was younger and I had never known what it was to be happy at all. I mean physical abuse from bullies at school, then I came home to verbal and emotional abuse from my mom. I built my walls so well no one could see how much I hurt but every day I was screaming on the inside. But when I was introduced to horseback riding, meeting the horse, it was like someone struck a match in me, I felt something other than nothingness for the first time in my life! And the 6 of riding were the happiest I'd EVER been.
Oh my god, this sounds so sad. I'm sorry for your experience. I can't imagine how difficult it was for you. The phrase "I had never known what it was to be happy at all" hits so hard. I had emotional abuse for a few years, but never physical. I just really don't know what to say.
You've said about horse riding, about having a horse. I think it's the best way to feel somehow better, cause horses help with everything. For example, when I see a horse on the field I become calm and happy. They are so graceful, they do not allow those who do not like them. Horses are like a brief of an air.
How do you feel right now? Do you feel better?
@@veraromakina8115 thank you and yes, I haven't been allowed to see the horse I worked with cuz of his owner. I've recently gotten into keeping reptiles and that has helped kinda fill that void.
Thank you for doing what you do and for your videos. Even though people tell me they're here for me or that they love me or that "it will be okay" or "it'll get better". It's all cliche to me. All of Citizen Soldiers songs hit me. Hard. "I'm Not Okay" "Just Be Happy". All of them. Cuz I am not okay. I don't know if I ever will be. My mind is my worst enemy and yet my demons seem to be my only company. I just wanna be numb. On the face I try to look happy but emotionally I feel like I'm dying. I'm just existing.
Stay strong🖤
I know how you feel, I feel like that everyday.
This one, grossly, hit close to home. Love your videos, but man, love this band even more. Wish you were closer, so I could help you weather through these storms we deal with, especially when they are alone.
2 weeks later, this one still hits home. I hope you find your strength brother. And I hope the same for myself.
For me, "Always December" is more than just feeling numb and cold inside. It's also my father passing away in December, and it was 2 days after my 17th birthday, and I haven't had the ability to fully recover from it in the past almost 6 years. So it's "Always December" for me, but specifically it's "Always December 2016" for me, because I'm numb and cold and depressed because of my own problems, as well as because of my father being gone. And it would be easier to deal with if I wasn't stuck with my emotionally, and now PHYSICALLY abusive mother. So this song is definitely more impactful to me than I think they intended.
I am very sorry for your loss and I understand how hard it can be. I will keep you in my prayers, please seek further help in regards to the abuse as this is not okay on any level. Escalate as high as needs be, don't allow it to keep happening. i believe in you ❤️
Great reaction to the song. This song shows how a lot of us always feel but, we just don't want to tell someone so, thank you citizen Soldier
The most ironic part of this song to me is that my birthday is in the middle of July and even then I'm numb to almost everything
Keep on keeping on ❤️
Mate citizen soldier are the best band every song stands out so much to me I love all there songs and your right there songs really touch you and take how your feeling and make it into a song keep making these reaction videos
🇧🇷 love 😄🤘
I was numb of Emotion, once
My biggest problem is that everyone around me is happy and I try everything to break this numbness and some girls asked me out but I just can't feel anything and I'm a coward.
I just hope it's getting better someday cause I'm afraid to die so I don't do it but I can't promise that maybe in 5 or 10 years I do it but in that time it also can get better🖤🌹
If you want can you react to
Mass of Man - felling low?
Lokimusic hold in their we all feel the same but your never alone there is people out there for you citizen soldier fans are family and we care for each other so keep fighting send positive vibes from northern Ireland
As for me, they didn't even asked me for going out. I was a foul and I was the one who asked them instead, they accepted but when we went out, they kept ignoring me and turned backs on me. I felt uncomfortable, felt like a I don't match with them so I went home with the thought of they don't need me and that I'm a burden to them. Another example, someone told me: ''we should hang out more often'' but ended up never meet up again. I cried in my bed every night and at days, I was searching for online friends and I was feeling much better. The hole inside me was still there tho and every time I see this hole I stopped hanging out with them. Only one online friend was/is loyal to me even tho I didn't chat with them for half a year and lost contact for another one year. Yet I don't cry but I'm feeling empty. You can also describe this as I got tired but it somehow cleared my mind and with the combination of CS songs, helped me understand myself better and realized I need to talk to an expert. Maybe u should try it too ❤
@@CrystalLifeHD
There is no one that can help me I just need to find the purpose in my pain
@@CrystalLifeHD sorry if I'm an extra here, but I've read your story and I just don't know what to say, but I also don't want to be silent here. Actually I'm sorry for your experience, that's terrible. I've been in situations like these, so I can understand it.
Can I ask you - how do you feel now? I haven't undestood this thing yet, but hope that you're better now. Honestly, you're so strong person, I admire you.
And I know that if this question is extra then just ignore it, but can we be friends or just chat? Sorry if I'm obsessive or something like this.
@@veraromakina8115 I know they are many similar experiences like mine and this is why I don't hide it anymore. Thank u for your understanding!
How I feel is quite difficult to answer, this is one of the reasons why im skeptical going to a therapist, not only for solutions. I neither feel happy nor sad. I just feel empty like this current song ''always december'' describes. They are some lines that truly describes what Im doing in rl such as ''I would rather lay here in my bed'' and ''Im only free from it when Im asleep''. Sleeping is only one thing that I can actually relax without any negative thinking. ''Seasons never change'', this is the view what Im looking through my live, I dont mean the seasons themselves but my live that keeps replaying without any changes. Inside im feeling broken, sadness, lonliness....but I started to embrace this and I think this causes the emptiness what Im feeling right now. There are times that im loosing interests bc of this cruel feeling. In your daily life u have this kind of expression 😐. This is like having depression without crying and hurting urself. But luckily I have this one loyal online friend who reminds me that im not alone and we even support each other. Idk how to describe this empty feeling so I really appreciate CS that really manage making this kind of song. I couldnt wait hearing this as jake said this is his fav song of the album but I had no idea that this is the kind of song that im feeling rn. I was shocked
Ur are not obsessive! Feel free to DM me, of course we can be friends If u truly mean it ♥
I'm not sure you get the point of this song. To me at least, this song is about having repeated flashbacks. In reality it's July but something triggers the mind. "It's December IN MY HEAD" (mind). When something triggers the mind into a flashback, the mind makes it feel like you're in a different time and place from your past. The song also talks about "being stuck on repeat." In other words, having repeated flashbacks and constantly reliving some traumatic experience. This is very common for abuse and rape survivors - as well as military veterans. This song really has nothing to do with Christmas.
No trust me I got it, I wasn’t commenting on the song being about Christmas
Eh
Eh?
You've been through a lotta pain. You're not alone, brother.