How to Write Engaging Descriptions in Fiction
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- Опубліковано 18 чер 2024
- Many writers dread writing descriptions. It’s difficult to know what to include, and it requires a lot of mental energy to summon interesting details from one’s imagination. Description can involve the setting, an object, a character, actions, and even internal thoughts. It might entail an artfully placed sentence dancing between dialogue; a paragraph that grounds the reader in the scene; or pages of prose that sink deep into a particular subject.
Here, I share five guiding principles for describing a scene, along with five additional advanced strategies with in-depth examples.
Text version of this video: / the-ultimate-guide-to-...
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TL;DR PRESS
Website: tldrpress.org
Twitter: / tldrpress
Anthologies: www.amazon.com/s?i=digital-te...
SARAH L. HAWTHORN
Short Story - “A Doe in Crown Land” in QUEER BLADES: www.amazon.com/Queer-Blades-A...
Twitter: / slhawthorn
JOE BUTLER
Novels - OF ALL POSSIBILITIES and STRANGE DAYS IN THE HOUSE OF AUGUST: www.amazon.com/All-Possibilit...
Short Story - “A Small Life” in BANDIT FICTION: payhip.com/b/x0zN
Website: writelikeashark.com
Twitter: / writelikeashark
MIA V. MOSS
Novella - MAI TAIS FOR THE LOST: www.amazon.com/Mai-Tais-Lost-...
Short Story - “The Radiant Web” in STARSHIPSOFA: www.starshipsofa.com/blog/2021...
Website: www.magicrobotcarnival.com
Twitter: / atomicjackalope
ALEX LAUREL LANZ
Short Story - “Every Little Hair on Your Head” in SCARE STREET: www.amazon.com/dp/B0B9T99R1H?...
Short Story - “The Only Way Out Is Through” in TALES TO TERRIFY: talestoterrify.com/episodes/5...
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LYLE ENRIGHT
Short Story - “Bargaining” in SHORT EDITION:
short-edition.com/en/story/sh...
Short Story - “Road Rage” in SPECULATIVE CITY:
speculativecity.com/fiction/r...
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ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
“Description: Narrative Lensing” by David F. Shultz: davidfshultz.com/2017/03/26/d...
“On Writing: Great Character Descriptions!” by Hello Future Me:
• On Writing: Great Char...
“Exile” by Carolyn Forché (poem): www.lyrikline.org/en/poems/ex...
MAI TAIS FOR THE LOST excerpt narration by Simone Stivi: www.fiverr.com/listeninglydia...
"Every Little Hair on Your Head" excerpt narration by Liz Petersen:
www.fiverr.com/girlg0yle?sour...
Opening Animation by Vitor A. Dupont: www.behance.net/vitordupont
Title and End Music: “Clockwork” by Vindsvept - • Fantasy Music - Vindsv...
Background Music by Vindsvept:
+ “Keeper of the Forest”
+ “The Journey Home”
+ “Leaving the Dream”
+ “Alone”
+ “Skymning”
+ “Lycanthropy”
+ “Light the Bonfire”
+ “Deliverance”
+ “Wildfire, part two”
+ “Spirit of the Wind”
+ “The Forgotten Forest”
+ “Chasing Shadows”
Defining Descriptive Writing (0:00)
1. Focus on Details Specific to the Point of View (1:04)
2. Include the Senses (2:30)
3. Favor Strong Verbs and Adjectives (4:10)
4. Move the Narrative Forward (6:41)
5. Don’t Describe Everything (8:50)
6. Add a Character-Based Layer (10:13)
7. Imagine the Scene from a Fixed Point (14:52)
8. Decide How You Want the Scene to Feel (18:46)
9. Pair Descriptions with Actions (24:13)
10. Connect Similes and Metaphors to the Story World (28:42)
Descriptive Writing Exercise (32:41)
Hi there, viewers! You can read a text version of this video on Medium: quotidianwriter.medium.com/the-ultimate-guide-to-writing-engaging-descriptions-in-fiction-91cefb2b4477
You're doing God's work here, Diane. I'm always greatful for your videos and learn so much at the right times.
I struggle with descriptions, not from a language, content, context, pacing, syntax, perspective (1st, 2nd, 3rd+), worldbuilding, character work/desciption aspect or anything else in terms of what's specifically on the page as I'm learned in/cognizant of most skills relevant to me and my style/method in that regard.
I struggle primarily with the intuition of the matter.
I've written in many different writing mediums, but especially poetry, screenwriting, and prose (short stories/novels).
I've realized I've amalgamated those three disciplines into one prose style. I truly enjoy it. But sometimes people reflect to me that they somewhat felt they were reading a script.
I'm not at all light on descriptions throughout my works. There are many instances where I go in great depth into my worlds, but I believe there are other instances, almost explicitly around dialogue, where I throw myself into the course of the discourse and ease off of the work of continuing to set the scene.
These things I typically pick up during revisions. But it can become a tedious affair, and I realize that not having this part of my sense engaged in earlier drafts can throw me off on later drafts, and I wonder then if I've overdone a scene. Become unnecessarily embroiled in cushioning the narrative with tangible and evocative sensory details for the scene's setting, character perspectives, plot details, etc.
So the intuition I feel I'm missing is a sense of balance, proper placement, completedness, a sense of having hit the right depth & distribution while exercising a peering into the perception of an audience member to see the bigger picture of what I'm writing, and whether or not the breadth of the work is clearly intepreted and consistent.
I hope that makes sense.
(I also realize, if there's anything about descriptions I'm especially desiring to learn, it's subtext, which I see as a more holistic elevation of description that ties into dialogue, plot, and everything else. I often have trouble seeing it. I usually benefit from others alighting me to it in a book, show, or film. But I have trouble acknowledging subtext with my own initiative and within my own mind. Especially to see an analytical thought I'm having about a story and recognize, "Oh! That's subtext!" and learn to distill it from the other details, thematic aspects, and narrative categories of a given piece.)
@@DarrenWilsonOne Thank you so much for your kind words! That sense of balance is difficult to achieve, and I think what feels right differs for every writer (and reader). I've faced a similar problem as you have, where I feel like I provide ample descriptions and visuals, yet certain readers ask for more details and character movements. Part of that might stem from the fact that my brain works best in abstract, internal environments, and I prefer those types of descriptions as a reader (e.g., character studies, introspection). Although I have an interest in art, I wouldn't call myself a spatial person, as I don't visualize how people and objects are oriented as much as other readers might; it's more about the tone and feel of the words, even, rather than a mental movie. My writing tends to reflect my own readerly preferences, I suppose, but I also want to appeal to readers who aren't like me.
As someone else commented on this video, it helps to have literary mentors to turn toward on your bookshelf, where you have descriptive passages on hand that really sing to you. I try to follow that gut feeling ("I like this") and figure out the why and how ("What tools did the author use to achieve this? What am I doing or not doing in my writing?").
I also believe the struggle you've outlined is common among artists. In all the author and artist bios I've consumed, there's this constant sense of striving, accompanied by frustration at being uncertain about what will make a work feel complete. Maybe that uncertainty is something we can never fully overcome, even as we develop certain aspects of our intuition. Writers will always doubt their own creative choices, but in the end, we can only trust what feels true to ourselves in the moment.
You are cute
Thank you so much for all the effort you put into your wonderful videos. The text version is also great. It's definitely worth saving for reference when writing.
When the world needed her most, she returned
Well said.
Love this.
Yes!
Always seems to be the way.
Would love a collab between her and Shaelin tbh. Anyone else?
Read this as «word» not world and thought it was fitting. Both actually.
No adds? No sponsor? No Patreon? This is gold and its free. Thanks for your hardwork Diane... we appreciate it. Thank you
Please do ads sponsors and patreon if you want Diane. Artists deserves payment too! Would not think different of you!
Can I just take a moment to say how genuinely beautiful each of these videos are? Gentle, warm colors, thoughtful, yet parsimonious use if words, and subtle but uplifting "you can do this." I never miss an upload!
PS, having done some music publication and voiceover work professionally, you absolutely could record if you wanted.
Wow, thank you so much for your kind words! I truly appreciate your comment, and I aspire to make every video more beautiful than the last. Keep writing!
I agree. I love them ⚘️
Relevance to character is something I constantly forget, yet it seems to be THE thing, ALL things, that make the description what it is.
Well when I took a creative writing course in college. My professor had me try to describe walking into my room if I was blind.
Also a statement from a long lost poetry book I never found again.
“Describe a tree, so that it couldn’t possibly be mistaken for any other tree.”
I love that quote!
That's awesome!~ ^-^
@@QuotidianWriter me too!:) I really miss that book. I tried to find it for years😔
Diane. How? How do you always manage to post about exactly what I’m struggling to write?! You always manage to break down the barriers in my mind and simplify the process in a way that feels manageable, doable. Thank you. Thank you always for posting such incredible content.
I'm so glad to hear that, Kate! That's always what I aim to achieve. Thank you for such kind words. Keep writing! :)
My personal favorite thing to do when writing settings is to go out in nature and find a similar setting or element that fits the setting of my story. Then I try to describe it in unique phasing. I do this because often you can be shocked by how many little things you don’t imagine when describing scenes and just by going outside can give you alot of inspiration!
Thank you for the tip
As a non-native English speaker/"aspiring writer" I'm actually horrified to begin writing because due to me learning English as a second language I don't have the same sense of reliance on it as I do with my native tongue and I'm afraid that my descriptions will be stiff and boring, dialogue unmotivated and awful, characters artificial and one dimensional because of my circumstances. And there's so many advices and tips floating all around the internet that it makes me feel so overwhelmed. It makes me feel as if me even beginning to write is a worthless endeavor most of the time but I still come back to that idea. I still don't know how to deal with that feeling but I want to thank you for being one of the few guiding lights in the abyss of self doubt and fear of writing.
I hope you can release more videos like this. All of your videos in that playlist is so rich in knowledge and content that it takes me two hours to watch your videos since I note everything you are saying 🤣 Please release more content. You and Brandon Sanderson's lectures are my favourite on teaching writing.
Thank you so much for your high praise! It truly means a lot to me. You were here so early that I had the video as unlisted when you commented, haha! Keep writing. :)
Agreed. A lot of pointless rambling, trite lists or fluff on most writing channels. I'd add Ellen Brock, Glenn Gers (Writing for Screens) and Alyssa Matesic. All five channels get right to the good stuff and articulate it so well, while also being encouraging and realistic about the challenges involved.
I've been really struggling with writing description recently...actually, it's probably the hardest thing about writing, at least for me. This video came in at the right time as usual, Diane!
im begging for a vid on multi-pov, specifically 3 or more povs. how to weave multiple inciding incidents, internal conflicts, personal stakes into a cohesive whole.
"Diane, I truly appreciate the knowledge and wisdom you share."
Your writing videos are the only ones I actually enjoy watching and find beneficial! I’ve been rewatching your old videos, and I’m so glad you’ve posted again. Writing descriptions is going to be so much easier to approach now!!
As someone who merely reads a lot, these videos are informative in describing what I have noticed other writers do to describe scenes and emotions but could never articulate how.
Was most pleased to get another wonderful video from you. Wonderful work as always.
In my dystopian series, Elektra Voltare, the narrating main character acquires the ability to sense electromagnetic fields. She struggles to describe the sense by saying it is like describing color to the blind or music to the deaf. All the world is alive with swirling currents of electricity and all life has its own bio electric signature. That presented a bit of a challenge to describe.
In this dystopian future, in order to make the world more accessible to the reader, this main character is raised in the basement of a monastery and educated from encyclopedias published in 1988 (her mutant power absorbs electricity, so she cannot read from electronic devices and the society no longer uses paper). Her out-of-date knowledge allows her to describe the world as she encounters it in terms a reader from our time will understand.
For me, description derives from putting yourself in the place of the characters and sensing through their senses. The description follows where the character places her attention.
That's a clever workaround to make your world more accessible for the reader! Thank you for sharing. :)
i personally do not wish to give advice to a more talented artist than myself....so pretententious and rude...but i flirt with disaster in this contention i use a mixology; uuuhh, "conflate"? but if a hair line off it will render the scene confusing...like (taken from my short story novella "The Embrace" second installation novella "Widower" first chapter third paragraph)--- "The short; sharp, shreill, shreik, shattered the glass sleeve of the hurricane kerocene lamp. Sending the rooms only light source into a cacophany of light and shadows. The scared light jumps and twitches into chasing and being chased by shadows and flicker. peering into obscure corners of the room...which peer back.. And as if from some hellish dimension many minor imps and twisted; snarling faces, of demons stand in reverance to behold in awe the abomination of death and resurrection...unholy and unspeakable."---but thats just my style....its difficult if not gramatically impossible😄 good luck i think your story stuff is a great idea 👍🤞
Exactly what I needed to get me back into writing. Thank you 🙏
I have most if not all of your videos on a writing playlist and am so glad that you've posted something new. Your content is so helpful and easy to digest
This has to be my favourite channel! Not only are the videos so genuinely helpful but they're so lovely to watch and listen to 💕
your videos are perfect for me. descriptive, to the point and packed with information. I found you yesterday and I cant even binge watch your videos cause they're so packed with good bits that I'm stuck processing it for hours passed. thank you for the quality videos
This video is so awesome. You're section on pairing description with action feels like it'll be a real game changer for my writing. Thank you!
Is it fate, or coincidence, to stumble upon a precious gem while destitute. Either way, I found you when I needed to. As an aspiring write i struggle with this more than I should. Thank you.
I'd like to thank you for making such useful videos! Not only are they way more densely packed with information and advice than most tutorials I've found (including published ones), but the atmosphere you cultivate - with your calm voice, the pleasant visuals, the super relaxing music - is so calming, it quells all the usually overwhelming anxiety that comes with learning new skills!
How Joe Butler described his mind is practically 1 to 1 with mine, never thought I’d “meet” another person who thinks like me ☺️
I did actually searched "describe" on the channel some days ago. it's like a sign that i shouldn't postpone the next step of writing fiction.
Thanks~ and happy holydays.
The video I didn't know I needed. Amazing work, as ever. I always wondered what was lacking in my prose, and, well... Now I know (at least partially)! Thank you so much for the effort you put in.
I owe you my whole soul, you saved me from giving up on writing and lit up that fire for it I always had that was starting to become just brazes. Thank you so much for your work
You're helping me a lot to develop as a writer. At this point I'm actually enjoying my writing and people are genuinely interested in what I'm producing. Even though the scenes feel merely sketched out to me. This video gave me just another oh-thats-why-moment. Keep up the great content and thank you so much :)
Wow, I've literally been watching your videos this past week helping me write, revise and edit my manuscripts.
Noticed you post roughly around every couple months and was bummed out -only to see today you posted. Thank you for all your great advice.
Quality over quantity in everything.
💜
Agreed. I am a total fan of Diane. Her videos are so beautifully written and professionally produced. She has helped me improve more than one story.
Diane thank you so much for the insightful video. I'm struggling with a particular scene in its sparse descriptions so these tips and advice are beneficial. Thanks again for all your hard work and I hope you have a healthy and happy new year. 🥰
*claps*
Thank you for mentioning aphantasia. It makes going along with walls of visual description an immense effort that sometimes ends up not being worth it.
On the flipside, I noticed experimenting with descriptions actually helps visualize what I am going for once it is done. Especially after I first heard the tip to write it from another characters perspective.
One thing I learn and relearn all the time: While someone might not be able to visualize things, their emotional, aural or sensory imagination might be stronger for it. All the more reason to include all senses in descriptions. I'm partial to aural imagination. Not just environmental sounds. Like, take the time to describe a piece of music, the dynamics with which a pianist hits the keys, whether a piece has colorful chords or bland ones, and some people will be able to hear it. Ofc its also a stylistic and thematic choice to do something like that, but its the kind of thing that would immerse me much more than describing the room the character plays in - even if that description was emotionally charged.
I was looking forward for another video of yours, thank you, these tips are so useful :)
For me, it's what my mind's eye sees, hears, smells, etc. I try to create a scene as immersive as possible, so the description of the space is crucial to me. The point about "how to ask the question" at the beginning of this is an excellent way to look at it - what does the POV character see, hear, smell, etc. That is incredibly helpful! Thanks, Diane!
Thank you so much for your channel Diane! There is clear hardwork poured into your videos, super informative for a young aspiring writing like me. Thank you again.
You are truly a blessing Diane! When my books become best sellers, you will be shown gratitude. ❤💜
So happy to see a new tutorial on your channel! Thank you so much!
This video is spectacular. Thank you for your work and thanks to those who you interviewed as well.
The explanations are clear, the examples are strong and the language resonates.
Your voice is so melodic. I was being lulled almost as much as i was being educated.
I so look forward to her voice. It wells up a sense of nostalgia in me that I can't describe. It motivates me to write like no other influencer. ❤️
How I have missed these videos, brilliant as they always are! I approach description through layers. In the first draft I write what I see in my mind, the outline of what happens and where, sprinkling key details as I see them as I go along. Then when I tackle the second and subsequent drafts, I take it sentence-by-sentence, really imagine what I'm seeing or what my characters are feeling. If I'm struggling, I read a piece of fiction from my favourite authors for inspiration (how much detail do they put? what kind of metaphors or language do they choose?) Then I look for all the filter words and mercilessly eliminate them one-by-one, sparing one or two if the description begins to feel too heavy-handed. The danger lies in too much description that can inflate the text, so I try to remove all superfluous action or dialogue or description, leaning it down to fighting weight where every sentence and every word packs a knock-out punch. At least that's the plan.
As this is coming out on New Year's Eve eve, here's to the writing we did this year and the stories we will tell on the new year. And remember our mantra, whatever you do, keep writing!
That's an excellent approach and one that I'd like to follow in my own writing! Thank you so much for sharing. Cheers! :)
As always, your videos help writers on a deeper level, Diane. I love them and watch them over again when I need to cement in the subtleties of a writing concept. I read (and am writing) historical fiction, and nothing blasts me out of the story like clunky metaphors/similes that include anachronisms. Red velvet cake on the American frontier circa 1860? I almost threw the book across the room. :( I'll take a place-holder metaphor that's a cliche, and work it into something that reflects the character's world and POV. I'll also take a scene that's on the 'white room' side, and look at it like I'm a movie director, filling in background and adding relevant external forces (wind, rain, birds swooping down) to give the characters something interesting to react to during dialogue. I watch a lot of UA-cam videos of things outside my personal experience, such as black powder shooting, horse behavior, and tours of Mid-western historic homes and Western museums. Period diaries (Civil War/Oregon Trail, etc.) are also great for picking up details that can be described in a scene to add authenticity.
I just recently got back my motivation to write so this is perfect timing
Oh geeze, this is like manna from heaven for me right now. I am literally STUCK with churning out crap-tastic description and trying to write engaging dialogue. Going to try some of this stuff. Thank you!
I am thrilled to see a new video by you! Especially one on the longer side. I find your videos not only informative, but very soothing. Perfect for when I want to listen to writing advice, but I don't want to feel overwhelmed by it. Love your content, ty for making it. 🙏
One year later and I am still listening to these videos on a lot of nights when I'm trying to fall asleep, but also want to let my brain absorb something of value. Thank you so much for the effort you put into each of these videos. Your channel is one of my favorite writing channels💕🙏
There're certainly other guider on UA-cam but, you are really different I can feel the words you use I feel the background sound sout suiting . So glad to see you ❤💓
Lucid and succinct, as always. Merci.
Amazing work Diane! Thank you for your generosity!
Thank you for all this help, Diane! Can't find this level of resources in other writing channels.
your voice is so soothing, thank you for such a wonderfully crafted video, but I could probably listen to you talk about manual ikea instructions for two hours
Just returned back to writing recently, amazing timing ❤
I also like using the environment as metaphor for story themes and mood. And I love describing things as characters interact with those things, rather than a big narrative sweep. It gives narration a sense of movement and physicality.
Love your peaceful videos and "out of the box" writing examples. 😊
Thanks for the insight! I was already doing this for my mc since he is a self-insert character, making his descritions sharp and to the point. kind of how I see things, logically.
Thank you so much for your work, Diane. This video is helpful, yet reassuring.
How gorgeous are you.
Sharing all your thoughts, experiences and all your research, to bring us all these videos. You have taught me so much. No words could ever thank you enough.
Our great friend returns with more tales from the land of writing! Thanks for great video! Keep writing :)
Wonderful. I look forward to watching more from you.
Thank you Diane, wonderful, inspiring, detailed and mindopening advice
Enright's bit was so goof I recoiled and aufibly said "Wow." For some reason the similes and character thought hit me hard.
Great to see a new video, been looking forward to this! :D
JOE!!! I can't wait for your next video! :)
This is such an informative video made with so much thought. Thank you for sharing.
Right on time, Diane 👍
This was a wonderful video. Love the channel
I've missed you and your beautiful channel so much💙
You don't know me because I haven't written a comment before for I'm in the habit of watching in silence😅, but I've been watching your channel since a long time. I even press the like button before watching anything because I'm sure of seeing something very unique each time. Thank you for this great effort you put in your videos and for sharing your knowledge with us 💙
Thank you for another wonderful video!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but the 2nd to last sentence is a fragment: 'At a crossroads a ground set with dolmen stones where the spoken bones oracles lay moldering.' That is a dependent clause. And I know it doesn't have to be a complete sentence. But it sets up expectations for a conclusion to the clause that makes it difficult to read.
Thanks for the video, glad to have you back.
Another excellent video. The guests and their choices of excerpts were terrific and instructive! I can vouch for the TL;DR Word Herd Flash Fiction competition. I entered last year, receiving the random prompts "Monsters" and "Glassblowing", and so I created a story about a family of monsters enjoying a day out, blending in during the Halloween event at a Renaissance Faire. My story wasn't chosen, but it was a ton of fun to write and great for practicing how to utilize all five senses while building a concise, entertaining story. Also, the feedback from the judges was helpful! I'm going to keep on trying until one of mine makes the cut. The stories that won last year were all worthy, and the first place winning story, 'For Infinity', about an astronaut telling a joke to their psychologist, was poignant and exceptional.
I'm so happy you enjoyed the video, Noah! And it's wonderful that you entered the competition and got so much out of it, even if it wasn't a win. Your piece about a Renaissance Faire sounds like a smile-worthy story. I'm always glad to see a comment from you. :)
Hello! I've watched your video about "Show don't Tell" and it really helped me! Likewise with this video, The knowledge I received from watching your videos is very important for me who is a beginner writer. You could say I'm still learning about this, I always have trouble making descriptions. When I did the evaluation, all it takes is reading more books and expanding my vocabulary bank. Well, from the start I wasn't the type of person who liked reading novels/storybooks. That's why I'm starting from now! At least I want to be a writer in my country. Thank you for reading this long comment, I used google translate to type this message, sorry if my message is messy^^
Really useful advice. Thanks!
Thank god you’re back. I thought you had given up on your videos😞
Tulisan penuh makna yang sungguh menginspirasi dan menggugah imajinasi untuk berkreasi.....
👍👍🙏🙏
You are so good! Thx for the videos
So many writers eagerly awaits your new uploads. Diane, I believe you're an incredible author. Could I, please, ask how many years you put into writing?
Thank you so much!
Best regards from Ukraine!
The advice that you and the excellent writers give here is priceless.
Reading your chapter on adding a character based layer, my thoughts went to one of my favorite novels, The Outside Boy (Jeanine Cummins). The protagonist is an 11-year-old Irish boy from a family of 'Tinkers' or 'Travelers' who has lived on the road for his entire life. He has pretty much never been inside a building and is quite literally house phobic. What an interesting place to put yourself as an author!
Thank you for this, I struggle with aphantasia therefore written description and scene setting are extremely difficult and time consuming for me.
You deserve a million subscribers over,
When l become a success as a Writer, l now have a mentor to thank - the sweet soul is Diane
All thanks
I loved this, like a gen-z finding that perfect tweet.
T E A L D E E R ?
Incredible, staggering genius.
The same comment for your "Punctuating Dialogue" - - top volume is still a strain to hear clear enough. The content is excellent though!
Thanks, learned alot.
My approach to writing description - (1) Write the scene based on verbs "VERB! That's what's happening!" to quote Grammar Rock. (2) Listen to UA-cam writing lessons on Description to help me construct a better, more dynamic scene. (Big time underwriter, here.) I have to hash over each scene several times to eliminate cliches, awkward phrasing and rabbit trails. Sometimes I write the scene two or three times and save "the good parts" to build the final version of that scene. And I am NOT afraid to throw away anything!
Thank you so much!
Another good idea is to switch a scene’s cadence (the focus), as it helps prevent your reading become monotonous or too similar (i.e. everything describes what the character does or thinks).
Thanks for the channel
Every point here falls in line with Poe's "Unity of Effect" (which I learned from the Quotidian Writer, BTW).
Thank you!!!
This is going to sound really arrogant, but I honestly find some of these descriptions a bit boring. I think short descriptions, focusing heavily on one or two specific details are the most effective (in my personal opinion). That being said, this is a really great video, and all of the advice given are solid.
The best descriptions happen in the moment. Instead of writing, "Men's heads would turn at her approach," couch it in a scene in which this happens. Describe a man whose head turns as she approaches, how his eyes flick to her without conscious effort. The train of her dress swishes along the marble floor of the museum, a susurrus as soft as the wind through the trees but shocking in its beauty, striking in its intensity, and startling in its purity. The sound fills the room as everyone in it holds their breath until she passes them one by one, their attention narrowed to the point in time in which she exists--this, right now, this perfect moment. Millennia move mountains, centuries bury cities, but this moment exists only as long as she allows it, and when she passes, it too crumbles to the machinations of the universe's ticking hands. And then it is gone.
This is a great video, thank you!
The return of the King... uh, Queen!
I would like to add to this beautiful explanation.
Sometimes it's nice to intentionally withhold some descriptions. For instance, it can point to a blind spot of the character.
Example from a novel: the MC is a marchioness with a subdued gentle attitude of a slightly broken person. Sometimes painfully subdued and gentle. She is manipulative, mostly on defensive side. But the reader is told that she did awful things in cold blood in the past. She calmly acknowledges this fact in her head. It didn't fit up for me
But there were two scenes that pieced together the picture.
1. She visits incognito impoverished slums to find a specific person. Description just glosses over the people who were asking for money. They were mentioned in the passing, but from the prior plot reader is informed that these people are in really desperate condition. AND she keeps her gentle and subdued attitude when she talks to the local informant.
2. There was a failed assassination attempt from a jealous young girl of a lower rank. It was too clumsy and stupid to succeed, and that girl instantly regretted and pleaded guilty. Marchioness's decision? Execution on the spot, performed by a family member of that girl, so that at least the family won't suffer consequences. Description in this case glances over the emotions of the people involved. Basically, "if that's how things are in the world, I roll with it, emotions be damned". And MC still behaved herself in a gentle subdued manner without a glimpse of hatred. If anything she hated the incompetence of that girl.
The lack of description hit me hard. Partially because it showed the consistent potential for despicable evil that really existed all along.
I use it too. I think it works with threats: MC is attacked, but description's focus is placed on marginally related things. This way I showed the scale of a bigger threat looming ahead, or that the current threat is insignificant, or "the burden is too big, I guess it's fine if my journey ends here"
She is the definition of quality over quantity icl
As a Game Master (GM for those IN the know... haha) I mostly PERFORM my descriptions, and generally it's before a group of 3 to 5, but occasionally a few more will approach the Game we're playing, often asking respectfully if we mind that they sit in... SO the descriptions as I "write" them are what we (GM's) call "prep". It's a lot like when you'd jot down notes and bullet-points for those index cards to compete in English Class by reading a speech you didn't want to write about something you didn't care about... EXCEPT that I do care, and I AM interested... and this isn't for a grade from some platinum haired and frumpy old woman who couldn't smile if I dropped an 80 pound bar of solid gold on her desk at 6AM just to get out of role call...
I take those few bullet points to set MY mood, though... They have to bring about the atmosphere of setting, the emotion I want to stir in my audience, the Players I need to stir to action somehow, even if they're more interested in their phones than me until it's their turn to throw dice and declare their action. They risk PC's that they've spent hours putting together, lovingly crafting every word of backstory and profile, and then hours upon hours trying to role play. They cultivate the growth and arc that brings these reluctant vagabonds together as a working team and then grow them to rise to my action, HEROES who still risk life, limb, and soul for their precious world and masses of people who's only repayment is to carry their memories in song and dance and festival for centuries after they've forged empires, murdered monsters, and created or protected a safe space for a more modern and civilized age...
Each visit to a place is wholly unique. My reason for bringing Players and others there is different every time I go... well... all except for one. One place is mine... Kaz's Bar and Grill, was built stone by stone and marker for marker by Kaz, one of my earliest Characters in the Game. He'd been an adventurer for nearly two centuries before retiring as a barkeep, a long and healthily storied career, even for a half-grougach. As a proficient mage, his stocky "wild-elven" build had gifted him for the durability that many magae simply didn't possess, and in his travels, he bought little parcels of land... or occasionally, found a nearby stone he could legitimately "claim" as his own with his mark. It had been his retirement plan from the beginning, and once the horrors of Sogorath were no more, Kaz was finally able to use his remaining power to pass the fortune of his life and ideals onward. As many a tavern had provided for him, he only wished to give respite to the weary wanderer. So Kaz's Bar and Grill was born from his dream... There was a ritual spell, and once cast it allow him to tie all the locations where his mark had been laid to his one actual building, crossing even the boundaries of the planes themselves. Even before anyone had thought to question his longevity or the magnitude of peoples who would instinctively say "Better call Kaz" when something was approaching crisis, sometimes almost in jest, a meme of sorts, or like a superstition... by tying all those spaces together through his own willful magical power, he had cemented himself to the realms, to reality itself. It was his first and probably would remain his only quiet step of Ascension. Unbeknownst to probably every traveler who sat at his bar for an ale or warmed ragged and road weary bones at his hearth, there was a Demigod polishing glasses, serving drinks, and only too happy to help one of the barmaids carry plates and platters to an unusually large or hungry party of adventurers. He'd always been overtly humble, but a sneaky bastard.
AND that's the one description I keep alive in its stagnation... It was a good way to retire Kaz, and it's rather fun to do my best to portray that one location as "dead on exactly" the same description every time as I can. It's a tough performance, even give or take the usual fallibility of human memory. It's a riddle, and figuring out that it IS the same place every time is a hint to something in-world that the Players can actually use. They will always enter and leave to and from the same city, wherever they are at the time, but Kaz is the same person and his place is the same place for all of them... there's a lot of interesting ramification to play with there... and it's always fun when they start to figure it out. ;o)
Can you please please please do a video on the passage of time throughout a novel. I really need some tips more than anyting on how to transition through the span of several months without sounding boring or repetitive. I'm having difficulty finding tips about this area.
I really like your videos too. You explain very well and the editing is excellent.
Hi! Thank you for your informative videos. Could you do one on how to workshop a story idea?
I'm grateful you're here
I'm grateful you're here as well! :)
Thank you
A video on how to determine when prose one is writing is current, fashionable and relevant would make for a good video. Often, I don't know if what I'm writing is outdated or already been done.😯
To be honest, I think there's so much variety in the publishing world right now that all forms of prose are welcome in fiction. Even when it comes to head-hopping and second-person point of view (which are often discouraged in modern fiction), there are contemporary works with those features that shine. So, I would focus more on honing your individual style and touching on ideas, themes, and characters that feel relevant to the times. What are the questions keeping everyone (including you) up at night? Those can be your north star for what feels current. Keep writing! :)
😅😅 I have a problem, where I really don't care what is current or outdated or been done before or not... Unless I'm intentionally trying to write something in a specific real-world time period. I just worry about what *_I_* want to write, or what I would want to read. ^-^ 😁😁 😆 💜 (buut that's just a personal/me-thing, really.😊)
Wonder how long it takes her to make each video, with this elaborate script and dozens of diff clips with gentle colours
Snap, I didn't know she made a new video 😭😭😭
I think this one is the weirdest ; A forest,covered by a mist of fog, with dark golden atmosphere, beguiling upon the green foliage.
For myself, so far in my writing endeavors, I find that less is sometimes more. I tend to overdo exposition and spatial descriptions. Sometimes when I've pounded out 500 or 1,000 words, I look at the physical structure of the what I've written, and while it isn't a blob of Faulknerian exposition/description dumps, I still have these sizable blocks of descriptions. The question I ask myself then is this: does this add to the movement of story or does it bog the reader down in tedious details that won't have any payoffs later? In excess of 80% of the time, I end up breaking up the chunky slabs and find some other way of weaving the descriptions into the narrative, via dialog or via action.
As to the descriptions themselves, I favor a mix between the Spartan Cormac McCarthy style of writing where the repetition of important words and keying into particular descriptions flesh out the world for the reader, and Stephen King's style of describing where he finds details and digs into them and digs into them until something juicy oozes out.
But as you wrote somewhere in your responses in the comments, it's really what feels right for you, for the story, and for the moment you're writing that determines what and how things are described. There ain't a right or wrong answer. There's only what works or what doesn't.
Thus endth the opinion.