Brandon Sanderson has been doing it for years. He's even getting more into it this year than before, probably because of the pandemic but still giving all his knowledge away for free on the internet. Unless you go to BYU. Then you have to pay for his class. But you can still watch it on UA-cam for free after the fact.
With a heavy sigh that sounded like the first shift of snow before an avalanche, he clicked out of UA-cam and without a word, made his way noiselessly to his writing room. He shut the door and set about a serious edit of his first draft...
After watching what he could only describe as UA-cam’s most inspirational treatise on writing, the young man leapt from the sofa and raced to is room. He felt little guilt for spilling his soda or waking Lily, his mom’s Pomeranian. After all, his masterpiece awaited editing.
@@c.9231 As he began to review his draft, he dreaded the work that was to be done. Now, anything and everything looked like errors. His inner psyche screamed, letting the last of his frustration out, as he finally put his fingers to work.
@@emmanuelo2941 And with the sight of inspiration written in his eyes, his fingers move dashingly as he typed. A multitude of ideas started to flood into his mind. The sound of clacking could be heard throughout the whole entire house, until suddenly it stopped. . .
Loud scratching noises were heard just outside of his door. His typing slowed as he waited for the scratching to stop. To his dismay, it only worsened. Whatever stood behind started pounding on the door after emitting a low growl. He stood from his chair and picked up his baseball bat, wary of the unknown being. The pounding of his heart didn't cease, but sped up as he approached the closed door. He raised the baseball bat and kicked the door down, taking the thing by surprise. He frowned when he realized who it was.
Just go for it! Write first, edit later. Don't overthink it. Pretend that it's something you'll never show to anybody except for yourself. And keep writing. :)
The hardest thing, imho, is to not overthink it. Too much showing can toss me out of the story when there are way too many fluffy words for describing simple objects. But thousand readers = thousand flavours I guess :) Great and inspiring video btw, thank you for it
If i was rich, i would buy millions of copies of Greta Thornburgs books, and burn them all in a big fire just to annoy her HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Honestly same, too much description of one scene tends to make my mind wander, which is probably the reason why most stories are a mix of showing and telling in the first place. However, almost every English teacher that I’ve met, eats up those Romanticism/Shakespeare plays like candy. An audience for everything it seems.
@@redeyes_zzz Saying you're a wannabe author is already putting more effort into self critique than your average stereotypical wattpad writer, lol. I mean that's a step in a good direction, I suppose.
@@redeyes_zzz either you are or you are not, if you write you are a writer if you want to be, if not you just aren't. Don't push yourself back by saying wannabe, just say you are. Advice from a spanish writter learning english (saying the last if there're any grammar issues with my comment)
I agree. Only showing...makes for too much flowery prose. Ugh. There must be some telling...and some showing...and finding that mix is what makes for a successful read. It's up to the author to figure out where showing or telling works best...or together. Generally, if it sounds good...creates a picture in the reader's mind...then it's acceptable. I think some readers are just fine with telling...and are plenty satisfied on the minimalist side of showing...while others are not.
I'm currently ten years old and aspire to be an authour. This video has helped me to really understand show not tell or whatever you want to call it. I truly believe in my dreams and have been told countless times that my talent is incredible or unbelievable but honestly I think I could improve by miles. This video was my first step towards making my dreams become a reality.
I started writing really young too. The seeds were planted in my head from a young age, maybe around 3 or so. I vividly remember watching my sister write, and I was obsessed with books, video games, and anime. But reading your comment made me smile and remember when I started writing. At first, my writing was super bad, but it's gotten better over time. I'm 22 now, and although I cringe at my old writing, even when I was 16, it's still a great indicator of how much I've grown over the years just by trying and listening to people(like this video, for example). Remember that your writing style will likely adapt and grow with you as you age. Just never give up and understand that there is always learning to be done. Also, write because YOU love it. If you write with the intention of fame and money, you will likely give up along the way. But if you write because you love it, even if others "cringe," then you're fulfilling what's in your soul and heart and will become an unstoppable force. That's just my opinion. Either way, I think you'll do fine. Good luck! I hope your dream comes true.❤
@@tonyisnotdead Not true. Leave the kid alone and go pick on someone your own age. You're acting odd and freaky. Stop it. This kid is doing better than you. Look at your comment's grammar, punctuation and spelling then look at theirs. They're doing just fine and will continue to grow and so will you. I'm 22, come at me, loser. Not at a child. What is wrong with you? That's a rhetorical question... They're on this video to learn, you're on this video to hate. You are NOT on their level.
I didn't know why my writing was sounding too melodramatic, until this video show me that I was relying too much on body language. A new window opened to me after this. Thank you so much!
Preach! This hit me hard too. I don't know I am a person that tends to observe the expressions and bodylanguage of others very closely. Maybe that's why? Others may not observe this directly and just unconsciously. So writing it down like we observe it feels over the top for most people.
@@carsanovadidrifto800 Why would you reply this? It has nothing to do with the video or the original comment, plus not everyone is Christian or Catholic
@@JuliaFerreira-zr7pq Agreed! I know there are some really really good fanfictions out there though. People sometimes start out really badly, but they get better.
@@winterrain1947 For sure! It's just sad to see such good ideas not have the tools to become great stories. Not to mention how tiring it can be, as a reader, to go through so many bad ones to find the hidden gems.
I believe that using the telling method in a conveyable way is a skill. These days, I've read a lot of work online where writers believe that being metaphoric or philosophical and describing every emotion too specifically makes their writing look mature. I too believed that earlier. And tbh I've read a few works which were absolutely amazing with this method. Because the plot suited it. Not every plot needs the same writing method. If JK Rowling used that specific method, I wonder how long Harry Potter would have been.
I agree. Gabriel García Márquez relies almost completely on telling and his books are superb. One should always take any writing advice with a grain of salt, and also keep in mind that writing is also subject to trends and fashion.
I like describing characters emotions straight up somtimes. Especially if it's serious. It's hard to try and show what's going on inside someone's head without directly hearing the raw emotion.
The simplest way (for me at least) is to read through what I wrote and imagine I'm watching a movie and ask myself: am I seeing/feeling these images myself or there's a voice over/narrator explaining what is happening in the scene. Then my telling will turn to showing
For me the best way to "check" whether it's bad or good (or passable because I'm a perfectionist at heart and never contented with my own writing) is to re-read what's written and if I start skipping some parts, then meybe it's better to delete them. If YOU of all people get bored, then change this part. After all, you're the person you're writing for first and foremost.
this is a criminally underrated channel. Listened to you when writing my first fiction book. Now contracted to be a TV series. So thanks for making these.
Currently as a book reviewer, in my opinion the 2+2 method also lets the reader make the story partly their own, inserting details based on their own experiences. This draws them deeper into the story. By far one of the best approaches!
Thanks for this. You summed up 'show' perfectly. Now I understand. I'm sure I've read /heard many explanations for its purpose, but yours is the best. Your language is direct and few words used! Excellent! Not deriding Diane - she used her brilliant mind to explain HOW to do it and I am eternally grateful to her for that.
Yes, this is what exactly I do. But i have problems to do it in English since it's not my first langguage. But whenever i write in my native language, it went very smooth and i'm very enjoy my writtings. Well i guess i need to truly learn english again 😅
Funny enough, when I first started writing, I did a lot of the things that were said. I cut my teeth in the fanfiction world, practicing showing concepts and not telling, based upon the books I grew up with and loved (and would lose myself to). I wanted to become a writer that my childhood self would have loved. Then I got to college creative writing classes in my community college and my professor slammed me for "purple prose" and being "too melodramatic" and that I had to "condense my thoughts"... that showing too much leads to disinterest from readers (he then cited Stephen King as the worst offender of said "overdescriptiveness"). Had another professor in my university days get on my case for using specific adjectives/verbs that had specific connotations saying nobody wanted to read a "SAT Hit Parade piece" and that simple and straightforward is better. Seeing this video is bittersweet, because it tells me... that writing is an art. My writing, nowadays, has become very technical and dry, devoid of emotion... and tells like a narration rather than a story. It makes me want to go back... but it also makes me feel sad that I gave up writing back then, because I felt I didn't have the talent or the skillset for it. Wish I could go back ten years and tell my younger self to not feel discouraged and want to quit being a writer just because two professors said so. Instead, find a style, craft it, hone it, stick with it, trim the fat, and develop. Wish I could take those ten years back.
For sure. I'm working on my debut novel right now. I have rewritten my first chapter a ton of time. This was all positive steps forward because I was very rusty. But, I remember thinking I wanted to write a novel when I was about 17. I had one professor give me nothing but compliments and an English college professor express that they hated the exact lines that the previous person loved. Same lines, polar opposite opinions. There are a few hard lines in writing. There is some obvious slop out there; however, in many cases rules should be broken sparingly.
That’s okay! Dont be to hard on yourself, you were just a kid! We are super susceptible to what teachers say when we’re that age. I have a similar story to you and I’m 24 and just now learning to be my own writer.
This is so hard. Growing up I also experienced how one teacher would reprimand me for what another praised me for. How we write should never be judged. What matters is whether our writing is a true and authentic representation of who we are at that moment in time. This is what truly matters. As I wrote this, I fixed syntax and grammar so many times. Were I truly genuine, you would see the messy, disheveled comment of someone who’s too tired from work. But alas, writing is always an illusion. Best of luck to you on your journey. I wish you well.
For my style, a mix between telling and showing is the ideal form. I mean, there is a trade-off between clarity, with a straightforward depiction, and enticement, with a decorated description. When you swap "Suzie was blind" for "Suzie felt for the bench with a white cane" the passage becomes more vivid and enigmatic. That is surely good sometimes but it can also get confusing or annoying. It would be tiring for your audience to puzzle out the meaning of every sentence, their attention could diverge from the really meaningful stuff on your story. Thus, only the important events - the ones which develop characters or push the plot - should be communicated with such intensity. Its almost like poetry versus report... one has to know when is best to use each, cause when writing, the points you emphasize influences what people apprehend from the narrative. People wanna know why are you telling them this story. Show what compels you.
@D Frazier I just want to say thank you for this, truly. It reinforces that yes, my writing isn't exactly up to par with others who are more than likely in a league far beyond my own, and that's okay! I'm still learning and growing to create my own style and unique-ness. I've had a few friends give me advice on what to do and how to do it, and honestly all it did was leave me feeling down and out, the fun of what I do not being within me anymore. That is, until recently I decided to say 'screw it!' and do my own thing. Now I'm much happier.
I completely agree with the idea of showing what compels you, as once in an English class we read a novel where one of the central characters was killed, but as the author had showed us in a way that was quite abstract and obscure, at first we did not realise that is what had happened and had to spend a while going over it for it to make sense. I don't think it would've been better if the writer had told us that's what was happening, but the meaning was buried so deep that he lost us as an audience. So I definetely think there's a balance between show and tell, and being careful not to go overboard either way.
THANK YOU I'm quite tired with books with too much of flowery proses and pages, that describes one particular corner of the world in 5 pages. It feels tiring to read it, as you're working your brains out on realizing whether or not it's already over or the book had moved on to another particular corner
I once read this advice somewhere: When you're done with your work, count the number of times you have used "was". Edit your work to reduce that number by half.
@@Brindlebrother Find a sentence like this in your draft, and do this to it: BEFORE: What hit me *was* feeling that I'd never get over her. AFTER: What hit me, *a* feeling that I'd never get over her? Now you can eliminate half of the rest!
The issue with a lot of advice when it comes to creative mediums is that it’s all so vague. “Show don’t tell” has always been one of the infamous ones. But this video is perfect. It narrows down what exactly that means, gives examples, and some phrases/hacks for writing it ❤
I think my biggest issue with writing is falling too much into “default” actions when writing emotion. I’ve decided that journaling my experiences, regardless of the emotion, really helps in creating a reference to use because emotions are so varied and you can cycle through them
Such a good idea. I set out last year to make my readers cry and I've succeeded. I get off on it I think. LOL! It's so much more work, but what's the point of writing if not to move people in whatever way right?
@Neghie Thervil . Hi, that'll be weird I've never done this before. So that's really what I want ...I want my readers to cry or at least feel for my main character but it's kinda hard gor me to do so ... can I ask since I don't have anyone ...what makes a reader feel the "traps" "the never things gonna workout for fl no matter what he does" " bad for her" ... oe at least what to search if you have any ideas pls 🙏
This is the most respectful description/guide to "show, don't tell" I've ever seen. It's something I've always struggled with, because nobody could ever explain it to me in a way that 'clicked', yet everyone INSISTS on show over tell. The fact that you even give examples of telling used well is such a relief to me. Instinctually I've known that it's not always necessary to 'show', but I needed an expert to finally confirm it. Thank you!
@gid I can't think of any other channel off the top of my head that has a similar format or does the same as this one. Inspiration strucks everyone from different places. Alexa Donne has a channel about writing that has some long-ass videos that you might find comforting to listen to while your brain starts grinding. Maybe check Cartoonist Kayfabe if you want to hear a couple of guys pasionately talking about comics and that have plenty of knowledge about American comics and its history. But these are the channels I frequent nowadays, I can't remember any channel about songwriting or music that hit me the same way so mileage may vary.
5:53 Use evidence 7:21 Concrete no Abstract 10:13 Specific sensory 12:15 Thought and verbs better than Body language. 15:32 Dialog 17:52 Narrator voice 24:03 When you can tell
One thing I love about stories in books is I always visualize the scene in my head and it's stuck. I probably have a clear view on how the coastline looks like, how the hotel rooms are built, how characters feel things, sometimes it's so well written i even deduce things that weren't even talked about. That's when I know a story can be magnetic and engaging to me, I personally love to feel taken hand by hand to the place so I can see it myself
As a novice writer what I like to do is pay attention to what the characters would. We usually don't notice some things but focus on the others, so I like to show what the characters are seeing
That's good advice. A strong instance of this is in Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun. It's a romantic comedy where every 4 panels of the manga contain some sort of punchline from some sort of misunderstanding that the characters frequently have, but gekkan shoujo actually makes these misunderstandings hilarious because we're seeing it all but the innocent character is confused as they see only a part of it, a tool of dramatic irony. For example, main character talks about an idea for their comic with his neighbour but a side character crushing on that neighbour overhears, and thought their boss was a normal manager by day but a stripper working in a gay bar by night. They weren't even talking about bars or strippers.
I thought I knew the differences between showing and telling. While I did know some of comparisons that you discuss, I learned more and even better how to use the distinctions in my writing. I also really liked that you explained the “why” behind showing vs telling. Why not give out the info straightforward and simple? Because that takes the fun out of the game of reading. Thanks!
I just wanted to make a list sooo ●you gotta show when it's about emotions, opinions and sensations ●use evidence to show:don't just say this character is kind, what prove that this character is kind? ●don't use verbs like (thinks-knows-understands-realizes-believes-wants-remembers-imagines) ●don't say the character feelings directly, describe it so the reader feel it to ●read about body language of different emotions, but don't rely too much on it ●try engaging different and unique senses ●show emotions through dialogue ●don't use too much adverbs ●sometimes it's better to just tell(if it's not that important of a scene) |writing exercise| take a paragraph or a scene and try rewrite all the telling to showing
Good reply. I like these guides sometimes but I just don't care too much to follow them as gospel because I'm not writing for my time period. I'm writing for a generation yet to come. So the rules of today may not apply forever.@@MrRosebeing
"Sometimes authors present information like a dictionary definition, rather than an in-world reference that fits naturally into the story" That's super helpful thank you so much!!
I would say if you think there's been too much showing, it's probably just information that does not need to be conveyed to the reader, rather than a section where it would have been better to tell.
Some writers do convey a good story by telling. For example J.K Rowling and Jane Austen are famous tellers. It really depends on the story and the reader.
What a magnificent little manual on the ofttimes confusing distinctions between "showing, not telling", Diane! I have never seen it so clearly laid out. "Show, don't tell." is repeated in the writing community about as often as "All writing is re-writing." so much so that it is easy for writers of all levels to get down on themselves for not knowing how to do this thing that is apparently such "common knowledge" that they, (the confused writer) should apparently just know how to do it; when nothing could be further from the truth. Like most things in life, the knowledge of how to "show, not tell" is not innate--it is a skill--which fortunately means that it can be learned. With this video, you have made learning how to do so much more accessible to those of us who struggle with this issue. God bless you for making it, Diane! "Smooth seas do not make skilled sailors." African proverb
That "writers are usually in a hurry" is actually my problem, I'm so glad I watched this video. I've been trying to "slow it down" but I have no idea how to and I didn't understand why it felt so rushed.
Instead of a raised eyebrow: Delia snorted in disbelief. Literally snorted. She was glad her mama wasn't around to hear, but she couldn't help herself. Jackson's story grew more far-fetched every time he told it. Instead of a fast beating heart: " He came right up to me! " "No! What'd you do?" "I broke out in a sweat, of course. We're talking major waterworks. I had to keep my arms at my side the whole time! Why did I have to wear white silk today of all days? " "Oh, Sue. "
There's a book called the emotion thesarus. It's basically a thesarus of different stuff your character can do when irriated, scared, angery and more. Maybe that could help give some variation.
This video alone helped me more than a semester did back in my school. Your job is flawless. Thank you so much for your help, and know it makes a huge impact in my writing and scenes development.
I've been teaching Creative Writing at a high school for ten years, and this video is one of the best instructional videos I've seen. My students really benefited from your examples.
Correct. The above is how English teachers and "writing teachers" make a living. People don't always want to re-read and "solve a puzzle". I prefer writing to be powerful, creating an impression as you go along. Yes layering is a skill but "show, don't tell" is a highly overused mantra, and regularly misapplied. The work students discuss in English Lit classes is NOT generally the greatest work.
@@RS-xx9ve Then treat your readers like idiots. Spoon feeding the audience isn't a great experience for either party. Many of those classics don't have the same skilled writing that modern books do; don't confuse having been good with still being good.
The struggle with me regarding “Show, don’t tell” is that I live using auditory sensory input. I’m totally blind, so I struggle with showing characters’ face expressions and body language a lot. I tend to not use a lot of visuals in my writing for that reason.
The tone of the dialogue or the rhythm of the prose can say a lot without needing any visuals at all! I once wrote a story where all smells were described in terms of tactile sensations, and that made the sensory details more vivid, in a way.
Here is some better advice then: tune in to weird fiction. Get someone to help you find Horrorbabble on UA-cam and then you can listen to hundreds of great stories that destroy this "show, don't tell" nonsense.
Thank you for reminding me of this. When I was in high school, I could write stories confidently but after I graduated and found a job, I rarely had time to write and lost my knowledge of writting in those years. When I picked up the pen last year and started writing again after all my burden was put to a rest and that I could finally do what I want to do, I found that I lost my inspiration and my writing feels rigid. I couldn't pick up where I was wrong, only to feel that something just doesn't fit. Even though I tried so many ways to write it over and over again, it just doesn't feel right and forced. At times I felt like crying because I could feel that I lost something and writing doesn't feel as fun nor as enjoyable as it used to be. When back then, writing can make me feel like I was interacting with my characters but now, all I felt was just... Empty. With your video, I finally realized what it was. Thank you. Although you may not read this but I am very thankful to you because you helped me resolve the things that has been plaguing me. Although there is still a long way to go because there's a lot I have to relearn what I had lost, this is just the beginning to my dream as a writer. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing your experiences. It is difficult to return to writing after a long hiatus, and I understand why you lament that loss of time and closeness to your stories. I'm so glad that you've returned to writing and are wholeheartedly pursuing your dream now, and I'm happy to have played a small part in that! I hope you continue forging that connection to your characters again. Keep writing. :)
This is exactly the video I needed, I'm looking back at my old writing and realizing how much "telling" I did rather than "showing". Ever since following this advice I find it so much easier to immerse myself into what my characters might be thinking or feeling, and it's easier for me to fill out pages. Thank you so much!
This spoke volumes to me. I really need to read books more that provokes emotions, setting the scene where I escape reality. I seriously put my remote work on hold to listen to this insightful video. Thank you for your tips and helpful advice.
I so needed this! (Telling?). I stifled the hundredth yawn as I struggled to understand how to decipher which path my writing had taken. Was I telling or showing? Exhaustion threatened as I poured over unfulfilling sources to find the elusive answer. “Could I trust this post? Would it leave me hungry for more?” It did not! I devoured every example, repeating them over and over. I blinked. My quest had ended. Leaning back into the comforting cushions of my armchair, a small tear formed at the corner of one of my reddened eyes. It sidled its way halfway down my cheek before I wiped at it with the back of my painful key pushing hand. (showing?) Wow, just writing this silly comment proved to me how much work I need to do! Thanks for this video!
First of all, I can't tell you just how glad I'm when I stumbled through this video. I have been searching a lot of guides and tips just to find the answer of why my writings felt so stiff despite being so elaborate and fanciful. Since my english education as a non-native speaker is pretty much informal, I always thinks that my problem is just my lack of vocabulary, so this video is really, really a great help for me. Once again, thank you!
At 17, I wrote poetry. Now I write short stories. I'm not good at it, but your video helped me see a better way to write. Thank you for taking the time to make this video. I will edit, rewrite and rewrite again.
Well, the one thing I learned is that sometimes It's okay to tell, not every character emotion cue has to be delivered with nine hundred paragraphs. Sometimes simplicity is a good thing, especially if you want to create a fast pace. Sometimes showing can get long-winded and is more useful for melodramas as opposed to something more action oriented like what I am writing.
I love how well researched and organized this video is. I even caught myself jumping between emotions as you presented the different examples. I am sure this will help me a lot. Thank you.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart, Diane. I was shaking and even jumping at some moments. As a not-so-pro writer, who was trapped in the anti-writing traps of this world, I thank you for assisting in my freedom and empowering my creative endeavours. Especially, I loved your last quote. "Whatever you do, keep writing!" DAMNNNN I love writing. It makes me feel alive but I wasn't writing much for a while. But thanks to you and a lot of other stuff- it WON'T happen again. I PROMISE. Lastly, I just wanna say, "You're majestically awesome!"
Dang, this video was extremely clear and easy to understand. As a very novice writer, some writing advice are difficult for me to follow, but this had very specific advice that I can actually implement.
I always send my drafts to the people who read the most out of my friends and family. One of them being my mother who’s extremely critical when it comes to me and my writing or dancing. The other person being my best friend, probably my biggest fan, who’s not only immensely good with wording and handling emotional topics but also knows that I can accept and love to hear criticism. I’m very thankful for her. She’s not judging me for spending most of our time talking about my story and my characters and my favourite story lines and how I create families and their crests and how their powers work and how they perceive love and affection. And, of course, how I love to make them suffer. I don’t know why I just wrote all this down. It has nothing to do with the video but I just had the urge to write this down. Thank you for your attention.
I'm currently 12 years old and would absolutely love to be a writer in the future. I spend most of my time reading and writing stories, or just making up little bits of stories in my head. This video helped me with my writing immensely!! I've already been told on many occasions that I write well, but this video just put the icing on the cake. :) Definitely will be using this in any future books I write. (Omg, all these sweet replies are making me genuinely tear up ngl- I reread the story I wrote and I kind of don't like it and I would say I've definitely improved in my writing, but if anyone is genuinely interested in my writing I'm working on a psychological horror/crime/mystery/dark story on Wattpad since I like the formatting- I'm planning on making it at least 10k words per chapter and have like, 50 or so chapters! Again, thank you all
@@xXLesbian_MessXx don't listen to them I believe you can be a great writer in the future, I've been writing since I was 9 and have done a lot of great things, I know you can do it
Abundant rain this year meant the grass on this particular African plain was tall and thick. It swayed in the warm night breeze as we sat around the fire drinking "the good stuff" and listening to Frank's ribald jokes. It was when he froze mid-punchline, eyes fixated on the perimeter, that we realized something more than the wind moved through that grass.
I’m a teller who wants to learn the art of showing through well-crafted words. In the past decade, I’ve mostly written academic papers, pleadings, and research. The transition is overwhelming at times, but I know I can get there with persistence and hard work.
Glossary of eminent journals in my shelf, stacked up in twenty’s and five rows. Hardly will you find one without my my name engraved in gold ink. 22 years as the editor academic Journal on abstraction and showing. I exhibit about 120 articles and research works in funky blogs yearly! I’m a teller by trade, i observe, deduce and inform on fact. I tell, but it doesn’t go far. Never really catch on, few eyes know the worth. But kow, I want my audience to see words and read flowing thoughts, I want to be an artist, I want to take them on a journey they can follow. I want to show. I want them to see for them selves. 🙏
Haven't finished the entire video yet, but what I feel is the overarching idea, is that as a writer we must imagine how something we want to express should be filmed without voice-over. We are basically creating a visual picture (and yes, also some sounds, smell, taste, etc.) For me the main challenge with this is always to remember it, and to keep using it.
Man this is so helpful thank you! My problem is while I studied at University I had to write so much analytical, explicit stuff, that I sometimes catch myself writing my novel as meticulously orchestrated, and cross referenced, like a scientific paper. I am trying very hard to avoid that, and your advice was so good, that I now know what to look for. Thank you!
I certainly understand this. I then went on to writing formal language in my employment roles. I am now re-learning how to write imaginatively, narratively.
I am working on a dystopian fantasy where a highly-sheltered girl with an education based on encyclopedias published in the 1980's is forced out into a future world. Telling the story in the first-person allows the reader to discover the world as she does, but many of the details of the how the world works must be told to her by other characters. My early draft has some long dialog passages which I am working to break up to be more natural, but I'm finding it a challenge to show things that ground the action and give understanding of the environment. I'm thinking now it may be better to leave it mysterious. But I'm finding it a particular challenge to write in first-person and convey details of an unfamiliar social structure without a good bit of telling. The narrator would have no way of seeing the scenes that would show many details. In real life, we learn many things by being told, not shown, which is why we have textbooks and classrooms. But I don't think readers want to sit through a history class. And the fun of the story is discovering the world as the character discovers it. I'm working on getting the right balance. I have to rethink how much is really essential for the reader to know.
One trick some authors use is: shift the narration perspective. In other words, it is ok to have multiple first-person views (each in its own different chapter, of-course).
I'm thinking your story might come out better if it was told in the third person. Because then the narrator could know and tell things that your main character wouldn't have to know or even know beforehand. Good luck! 😊
This is the first of all these writing tip videos that is ACTUALLY helpful. The given examples and your pace of explaining really helps me understanding. I can really improve my writing from this, you've earned yourself a sub
"Show, don't tell" is a big issue in my writing and this video is extremely helpful in clarifying this. It was great learning from all these examples. Thank you!
Wow, I watched this 27-min video for over an hour and a half, trying to hold on to every detail so I can help my writing. I will be back to rewatch it and take notes then. This video just has so much vital information that I wish I knew before I started writing and posting. It's clear the amount of dedication you put into this video was tremendous. I will be looking up the references you included here. Thanks so much and I look forward to seeing more of your videos in my notification soon!
Finally got around to watching this video, and I'm so glad I did. I've been writing for a while but can't get anything completed because I just don't feel like I'm conveying what I really want to say. A lot of it is because I'm trying to tell in more interesting ways, rather than just showing in simple ones. There are a few spots here and there where I feel like I've succeeded in showing, but this video has helped me identify all those areas that need improvement. Thank you!
Your videos are so inspiring and beautiful! I've seen and read many videos and blogs on this topic, but only yours made me FEEL like I can actually do it.
my readers never really point out anything wrong with my writings, but i knew theres lots of areas to improve on. it didnt feel 'real' or 'dramatic' enough to make me feel excited over it while reading (as the writer herself). this is great, thank you so much!
I have watched countless videos on the show don't tell rule, but by far, this is the one that resonated with me the most and made me more or less understand the concept. I struggle with that a lot. Thanks!
This is the best video I have seen on show don’t tell. Thank you! I realised from watching your video that I have been writing for the reader, not the character. Brilliant advice.
I'm learning Chinese and I found a Chinese book series aimed at learners. Each story tells an incredible emotional story or a mystery, yet using only the first 300 words they teach you. I wondered how she was able to bring these huge stories alive. How can someone write more emotionally engaging stories with only 300 words than some of the adult fiction I've read in English? This video helped me understand that she's describing the situations, and part of what makes it so interesting is you figure out for yourself what's happening underneath the surface. Excellent video, thank you!
I can't believe you're putting up such content for free. You post quite late but it's worth the wait. I learn so much from your videos. Yours is the best writing channel on youtube. Period.
Wowwwww, this is exactly the video I've needed! You put in a lot of great examples instead of just talking/reading about it, and it was well-organized. Seeing the actual writing helps tremendously. Thank you!
Not the Hero we wanted but the Hero we needed. Thank you so much for making this content; It means a lot for us who dream of writing something great one day.
I remember struggling with this in early drafts of my own book, but was advised later on about showing versus telling, and it made a world of difference. Not just for beta readers, but for myself in rereading chapters. As if I subconsciously knew something was off and even annoying, but needed others' opinions to bring that to light. Your video is a great refresher of what I've learned, and still have to catch myself doing at times where one is more vital than the other, though there's still room for both overall.
Bookmarks for myself: 19:04 and 19:41 13:40 24:06 -> When to use show vs tell. 10:20 -> use the senses instead of abstractions for description. 12:50 > only use body language in extreme moments of emotion.
I do agree. Nowadays, thought, this type of writing seems to be less popular . Access to e-media is prevalent and, as someone noted above or somewhere, attention spans are shortening. I have a 7month old grandson whose mother put her phone with Pepper Pig playing to soothe him. He was upset and grizzly because he had a fever. I don't object to that, perse, but was shocked that this was actually an option. It has just occurred to me that showing (visualising) might be a way of lengthening the attention span. That'd be a wonderful thing.
She says in the beginning telling is not a negative all on its own, but along with the right amount of showing, you’ll give your readers atrokger and more impactful connections to what’s happening in the story.
I just LOVE your videos. For some reason, they're so soothing to me (and interesting too of course). Watching them really feels like treating myself. Thank you so much for another gem of a video!
This video is with great details and information. I appreciated finding your page. I do struggle with showing than telling. And this showed me clearly how to fix this thank you.
For those wondering, yes, Chuck Pumpernickel was a joke that apparently didn't land, even though I say Palahniuk right after. That's what I get for trying to be silly. 😂You can read the adapted text version of this video over on Medium: quotidianwriter.medium.com/how-to-show-not-tell-the-complete-writing-guide-45cb72f02541 (Note: I've replaced _The Secret Garden_ quote with a contemporary author, as it is a book rife with racist and colonialist messaging, and I regret including it in my initial examples.) You can check out my behind-the-scenes notes for this video on my Ko-fi page: www.ko-fi.com/post/Behind-the-Scenes-How-to-Show-Not-Tell-C0C32BTG3 My summary notes: Six Strategies for Better Showing: 1. Use evidence to support your claims. 2. Replace the abstract with the concrete. 3. Substitute vague descriptions with specific sensory details. 4. Avoid relying too much on body language. 5. Show emotion through dialogue. 6. Filter observations through the narrative voice. Where to Tell or Blend: + Moments unimportant to the larger narrative + Summaries of routines, time passing, or repetitive conversations + Some aspects of magic systems or sci-fi world-building + Character thoughts + Occasional backstory and exposition Where to Show: + Emotions (Particularly the main character's feelings and assumptions about how other characters are feeling.) + Sensations (This includes sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch.) + Thoughts (Words like “realized,” “thought,” and “knew” might signify this, but don’t feel like you need to avoid those words entirely. Just make sure there’s not a more interesting way you could phrase it using concrete evidence.) + Attributes or opinion-related adjectives (Especially in relation to how a character, place, or situation makes the protagonist feel. If you make a claim like “He was smart,” back it up with evidence, such as mentioning the time he Macgyvered a key from dental floss and a spatula.) + Flat Phrasing (This might include overused wording or an abundance of “to be” verbs like “was.”) Ways to Show: + Specificity + Action + Dialogue + Sensory Details + Internal Thought + Narrative Voice
@Diane Callahan No video or online course addresses my biggest question about show vs tell, which is: How can I show and not tell WHEN I'M WRITING IN FIRST PERSON! All of you use third person examples, but how can I avoid telling when the narrator is someone TELLING a story in FIRST PERSON, through the ENTIRE BOOK..?!? :S:S (meaning: "I was alone in the room" is telling, but "I couldn't see anyone else in the room" is also telling, and "I wished someone else was in the room with me" is ALSO telling).
@@gabrielp9646 The advice is geared toward third person for sure, but I feel it applies to first person as well. First person can get away with more blatant telling, though. To me, the key difference with first person is that the details are filtered through the character's unique perspective rather than the author's voice. What would that particular character notice? How do they phrase their thoughts in a distinct way? For example, a first-person narrator could say, "I hated him," but it's perhaps more evocative to write, "I wanted to throw a stapler at his head." That makes the statement visual and original, giving more information about the character's personality and adding humor. So, with first person, I'd advise leaning into *narrative voice* as a tool for showing. The example with Mary is told in third-person limited, but it also feels natural in first person, so it could serve as a guide for "showing" in first by focusing on the character's actions and thought process: "I opened my eyes and squinted in the sunshine streaming in through the open window. I stretched, feeling more relaxed than I had since . . . I sat up and looked at the clock. It was after eight. My little Jane had slept through the night. For the first time. Just like Billy. I flipped the covers back and stood. I snatched my robe from the back of the chair and slipped it on. I didn't want to think about Billy. The doctor said it wouldn’t happen again. The odds against it were astronomical." Hope that helps a little. Keep writing! :)
@@QuotidianWriter Hello, and thank you for answering. It does help, but just to clarify: When in your examples you say things like: "I didn't want to think about Billy" or "feeling more relaxed than I had since..." Would that be considered "telling", instead of showing?? Because those are EXACTLY the kind of lines that give me the pains xDxD If you don't read this reply, thank you anyway. Your videos remind me a lot of the Brandon Sanderson online courses. But it's nearly impossible to ask Sanderson questions... Or I guess I should say getting some answers. Thank you, and sorry for my broken English (not a native speaker).
@@gabrielp9646 It is telling, but don't worry about telling too much! It's not a bad thing to state ideas and facts directly sometimes, especially in first person where the reader expects to hear the character's unfiltered thoughts. Think of it as pairing telling *with* showing; yes, the writer states that the character feels relaxed, but we also "feel" that relaxed state in her description of the sunshine. It might help to pick up a book written in first person by one of your favorite authors and flag instances of "telling." I think you'll find that many authors rely more on telling than you might guess. Your English is great, by the way. :)
Never underestimate the power of telling a story. If everyone wrote like this it would be a sad world indeed. Not every story is intended to be a screen play. There's theater and then there is storytelling. Not everyone likes theater.
Such great content! Best explanation of show don’t tell, I’ve ever come across. Thanks for all the hard work that went into summarizing the many perspectives, creating the examples and providing solutions. I’ll be rewatching this regularly as I rewrite my WIP.
Beautiful. I have no writing background and my grades in literature were always the lowest. I feel overwhelmed and inspired even as a layman. The exerpt at the end was just beautiful. I lack the words. I got up immediately to comment my appreciation, but any telling felt inadequate to me. So i liked and subscribed. Hopefully I would come to visit that place of beauty again in through your videos. This video made my day thankyou. I am going to revisit some of my favoourite videos and books with a new lens of observation. Thankyou again.
I'm so glad to hear that the video was helpful, and thank you for your support! Having no writing background can give you a unique perspective and approach that writers too enmeshed in the world of academia might miss. Lean into your own strengths and interests. Keep writing! :)
Here 3 years later and my god your one of the few people I can tolerate teaching me about writing. It’s so relaxing and relieving. no longer do I have to sift through bias bitter writers opinions thank heavens
Damn you’re really giving all this gold away for free
That's one of the ways she gets her blessings.
Brandon Sanderson has been doing it for years. He's even getting more into it this year than before, probably because of the pandemic but still giving all his knowledge away for free on the internet. Unless you go to BYU. Then you have to pay for his class. But you can still watch it on UA-cam for free after the fact.
I suggest buying her a coffee or two!
Welcome to Marketing 101
It’s so sweet! Most ppl make you pay 🥺
With a heavy sigh that sounded like the first shift of snow before an avalanche, he clicked out of UA-cam and without a word, made his way noiselessly to his writing room. He shut the door and set about a serious edit of his first draft...
After watching what he could only describe as UA-cam’s most inspirational treatise on writing, the young man leapt from the sofa and raced to is room. He felt little guilt for spilling his soda or waking Lily, his mom’s Pomeranian. After all, his masterpiece awaited editing.
@@c.9231 As he began to review his draft, he dreaded the work that was to be done. Now, anything and everything looked like errors. His inner psyche screamed, letting the last of his frustration out, as he finally put his fingers to work.
@@emmanuelo2941 And with the sight of inspiration written in his eyes, his fingers move dashingly as he typed. A multitude of ideas started to flood into his mind. The sound of clacking could be heard throughout the whole entire house, until suddenly it stopped. . .
Loud scratching noises were heard just outside of his door. His typing slowed as he waited for the scratching to stop. To his dismay, it only worsened. Whatever stood behind started pounding on the door after emitting a low growl. He stood from his chair and picked up his baseball bat, wary of the unknown being. The pounding of his heart didn't cease, but sped up as he approached the closed door. He raised the baseball bat and kicked the door down, taking the thing by surprise. He frowned when he realized who it was.
She didn't care that there was only a couple hours before the assignment was due, she had to watch more videos about how to write good
“Showing dramatizes and telling summarizes” is the smartest thing I’ve heard about writing. 💀🔥
“The forest hummed of the cries of children long dead.” Okay, maybe too eerie.
fr my first thought was, “that was dark.”
Yeah but it was really good
If it sounds like it's too much then try to get rid of the purple prose.
Just a little
❤
this made me open up a word document, then realize after staring at the blank page for a while that i still can't write
Just go for it! Write first, edit later. Don't overthink it. Pretend that it's something you'll never show to anybody except for yourself. And keep writing. :)
LOL, you can write comedy!
Ok to be fair this comment was quite funny. You got a chuckle out of me
Live in your imagination and write something that you would want to read yourself.
Sounds like a great opener 😉
The hardest thing, imho, is to not overthink it. Too much showing can toss me out of the story when there are way too many fluffy words for describing simple objects. But thousand readers = thousand flavours I guess :)
Great and inspiring video btw, thank you for it
I absolutely agree! Thank you so much for your kind words. Keep writing. :)
Like blanus what is this? Yeah they just faff about with words to sound good and clever
Omg yeah. We should just BURN all the books, apart from science books.
If i was rich, i would buy millions of copies of Greta Thornburgs books, and burn them all in a big fire just to annoy her
HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Honestly same, too much description of one scene tends to make my mind wander, which is probably the reason why most stories are a mix of showing and telling in the first place. However, almost every English teacher that I’ve met, eats up those Romanticism/Shakespeare plays like candy. An audience for everything it seems.
90% of wattpad aspiring writers need to watch this
Hi, I'm planning to write, is there any writing platform aside from wattpad and dreame?
I am an Wattpad writer. Or at least an wannabe writer...
@@redeyes_zzz Saying you're a wannabe author is already putting more effort into self critique than your average stereotypical wattpad writer, lol. I mean that's a step in a good direction, I suppose.
@@skyler9254 scrivener for apple or windows...whichever you use
@@redeyes_zzz either you are or you are not, if you write you are a writer if you want to be, if not you just aren't. Don't push yourself back by saying wannabe, just say you are. Advice from a spanish writter learning english (saying the last if there're any grammar issues with my comment)
"You don't always need to show"
*Tolkien:* Hold my pipe.
I agree. Only showing...makes for too much flowery prose. Ugh. There must be some telling...and some showing...and finding that mix is what makes for a successful read. It's up to the author to figure out where showing or telling works best...or together. Generally, if it sounds good...creates a picture in the reader's mind...then it's acceptable. I think some readers are just fine with telling...and are plenty satisfied on the minimalist side of showing...while others are not.
hahah hilarious
LOL!
Well, of course.
But he was Tolkien.
I don't plan on emulating him.
I mean, its not always to do showing. Telling was also important too! So try to balance it
I'm currently ten years old and aspire to be an authour. This video has helped me to really understand show not tell or whatever you want to call it. I truly believe in my dreams and have been told countless times that my talent is incredible or unbelievable but honestly I think I could improve by miles. This video was my first step towards making my dreams become a reality.
I started writing really young too. The seeds were planted in my head from a young age, maybe around 3 or so. I vividly remember watching my sister write, and I was obsessed with books, video games, and anime. But reading your comment made me smile and remember when I started writing. At first, my writing was super bad, but it's gotten better over time. I'm 22 now, and although I cringe at my old writing, even when I was 16, it's still a great indicator of how much I've grown over the years just by trying and listening to people(like this video, for example). Remember that your writing style will likely adapt and grow with you as you age. Just never give up and understand that there is always learning to be done. Also, write because YOU love it. If you write with the intention of fame and money, you will likely give up along the way. But if you write because you love it, even if others "cringe," then you're fulfilling what's in your soul and heart and will become an unstoppable force. That's just my opinion. Either way, I think you'll do fine. Good luck! I hope your dream comes true.❤
obviously you need to improve. people only tell you your writing is fantastic and priceless because you are 10 years old
@@tonyisnotdead Not true. Leave the kid alone and go pick on someone your own age. You're acting odd and freaky. Stop it. This kid is doing better than you. Look at your comment's grammar, punctuation and spelling then look at theirs. They're doing just fine and will continue to grow and so will you. I'm 22, come at me, loser. Not at a child. What is wrong with you? That's a rhetorical question...
They're on this video to learn, you're on this video to hate. You are NOT on their level.
w dreams
@@tonyisnotdead what the fuck??
I didn't know why my writing was sounding too melodramatic, until this video show me that I was relying too much on body language. A new window opened to me after this. Thank you so much!
For real. This got me too.
The most extreme disagreements have zero body language.
Preach! This hit me hard too. I don't know I am a person that tends to observe the expressions and bodylanguage of others very closely. Maybe that's why? Others may not observe this directly and just unconsciously. So writing it down like we observe it feels over the top for most people.
@@carsanovadidrifto800 Why would you reply this? It has nothing to do with the video or the original comment, plus not everyone is Christian or Catholic
SAMEEE😭😭
Everyone: here to write a novel.
Me: mmmm fanfiction
MMMMM
Or dumb short stories for school.
Tbh, I WISH more fanfic writers did this kind of research.
@@JuliaFerreira-zr7pq Agreed! I know there are some really really good fanfictions out there though. People sometimes start out really badly, but they get better.
@@winterrain1947 For sure! It's just sad to see such good ideas not have the tools to become great stories. Not to mention how tiring it can be, as a reader, to go through so many bad ones to find the hidden gems.
I believe that using the telling method in a conveyable way is a skill. These days, I've read a lot of work online where writers believe that being metaphoric or philosophical and describing every emotion too specifically makes their writing look mature. I too believed that earlier. And tbh I've read a few works which were absolutely amazing with this method. Because the plot suited it. Not every plot needs the same writing method. If JK Rowling used that specific method, I wonder how long Harry Potter would have been.
I agree. Gabriel García Márquez relies almost completely on telling and his books are superb.
One should always take any writing advice with a grain of salt, and also keep in mind that writing is also subject to trends and fashion.
I like describing characters emotions straight up somtimes. Especially if it's serious. It's hard to try and show what's going on inside someone's head without directly hearing the raw emotion.
Totally agree. As I commented, It should be "Show AND tell"
Well the first two harry potter books are children's books so...no. I don't believe that would suit it well.
HARRY POTTER IS WACK 🤣
The simplest way (for me at least) is to read through what I wrote and imagine I'm watching a movie and ask myself: am I seeing/feeling these images myself or there's a voice over/narrator explaining what is happening in the scene. Then my telling will turn to showing
I'm not a writer but this totally make sense!
@@LuisHernandez-sk3dm It really does! I've given myself some experience in screenplay, and this links with me.
I try to do it that way too. Makes the transition to showing much easier.
Thats actually really good advice!
Don't ALWAYS show.
I'm afraid of overdoing it, or doing it so wrong that it would be boring
Me too
For me the best way to "check" whether it's bad or good (or passable because I'm a perfectionist at heart and never contented with my own writing) is to re-read what's written and if I start skipping some parts, then meybe it's better to delete them. If YOU of all people get bored, then change this part. After all, you're the person you're writing for first and foremost.
@@527398 great advice! thanks
@@alisonargayosa7729 exactly and ideas it's so hard to make it new and unique it's take months to show it than i think that's not enough
@@alisonargayosa7729 that's what beta readers are for
this is a criminally underrated channel. Listened to you when writing my first fiction book. Now contracted to be a TV series. So thanks for making these.
Yay.
🎉 Congratulations to you .
Currently as a book reviewer, in my opinion the 2+2 method also lets the reader make the story partly their own, inserting details based on their own experiences. This draws them deeper into the story. By far one of the best approaches!
Thanks for this. You summed up 'show' perfectly. Now I understand. I'm sure I've read /heard many explanations for its purpose, but yours is the best. Your language is direct and few words used! Excellent! Not deriding Diane - she used her brilliant mind to explain HOW to do it and I am eternally grateful to her for that.
Yes, too many people overexplain things too much. :)
Yes, this is what exactly I do. But i have problems to do it in English since it's not my first langguage. But whenever i write in my native language, it went very smooth and i'm very enjoy my writtings. Well i guess i need to truly learn english again 😅
@@ameliaross854 what's your native language?
@@nadiasanz3779 Malaysia 😁😊
I showed the first two pages of my book to a friend, he told me it felt like in a movie. That was the best compliment ever! 😊
@Miles Doyle okay but who asked?
@@carsanovadidrifto800 Who asked?
@ Carsonova etc. 🤣🤣🤣 congrats! You just wrote the biblical themed, UA-cam post version of War & Peace. Ever heard of less is more? Didn't think so.
@@carsanovadidrifto800 idk
@@edwwi Ignore them, they’re bots.
Funny enough, when I first started writing, I did a lot of the things that were said. I cut my teeth in the fanfiction world, practicing showing concepts and not telling, based upon the books I grew up with and loved (and would lose myself to). I wanted to become a writer that my childhood self would have loved.
Then I got to college creative writing classes in my community college and my professor slammed me for "purple prose" and being "too melodramatic" and that I had to "condense my thoughts"... that showing too much leads to disinterest from readers (he then cited Stephen King as the worst offender of said "overdescriptiveness"). Had another professor in my university days get on my case for using specific adjectives/verbs that had specific connotations saying nobody wanted to read a "SAT Hit Parade piece" and that simple and straightforward is better. Seeing this video is bittersweet, because it tells me... that writing is an art. My writing, nowadays, has become very technical and dry, devoid of emotion... and tells like a narration rather than a story. It makes me want to go back... but it also makes me feel sad that I gave up writing back then, because I felt I didn't have the talent or the skillset for it.
Wish I could go back ten years and tell my younger self to not feel discouraged and want to quit being a writer just because two professors said so. Instead, find a style, craft it, hone it, stick with it, trim the fat, and develop. Wish I could take those ten years back.
I hope you've been able to move forward with your writing and make up for that lost time by writing stories that feel true to you. ❤️
For sure. I'm working on my debut novel right now. I have rewritten my first chapter a ton of time. This was all positive steps forward because I was very rusty.
But, I remember thinking I wanted to write a novel when I was about 17. I had one professor give me nothing but compliments and an English college professor express that they hated the exact lines that the previous person loved.
Same lines, polar opposite opinions.
There are a few hard lines in writing. There is some obvious slop out there; however, in many cases rules should be broken sparingly.
That’s okay! Dont be to hard on yourself, you were just a kid! We are super susceptible to what teachers say when we’re that age. I have a similar story to you and I’m 24 and just now learning to be my own writer.
This is so hard. Growing up I also experienced how one teacher would reprimand me for what another praised me for. How we write should never be judged. What matters is whether our writing is a true and authentic representation of who we are at that moment in time. This is what truly matters. As I wrote this, I fixed syntax and grammar so many times. Were I truly genuine, you would see the messy, disheveled comment of someone who’s too tired from work. But alas, writing is always an illusion.
Best of luck to you on your journey. I wish you well.
We have shared this type of experience. Surreal to hear someone else on the same exact street, just different names.
For my style, a mix between telling and showing is the ideal form. I mean, there is a trade-off between clarity, with a straightforward depiction, and enticement, with a decorated description. When you swap "Suzie was blind" for "Suzie felt for the bench with a white cane" the passage becomes more vivid and enigmatic. That is surely good sometimes but it can also get confusing or annoying. It would be tiring for your audience to puzzle out the meaning of every sentence, their attention could diverge from the really meaningful stuff on your story. Thus, only the important events - the ones which develop characters or push the plot - should be communicated with such intensity. Its almost like poetry versus report... one has to know when is best to use each, cause when writing, the points you emphasize influences what people apprehend from the narrative. People wanna know why are you telling them this story. Show what compels you.
That example made me realize how hard it would be to write from a blind persons perspective- the lack of color and relying on other senses etc
AGREED-
@D Frazier I just want to say thank you for this, truly. It reinforces that yes, my writing isn't exactly up to par with others who are more than likely in a league far beyond my own, and that's okay! I'm still learning and growing to create my own style and unique-ness. I've had a few friends give me advice on what to do and how to do it, and honestly all it did was leave me feeling down and out, the fun of what I do not being within me anymore. That is, until recently I decided to say 'screw it!' and do my own thing. Now I'm much happier.
I completely agree with the idea of showing what compels you, as once in an English class we read a novel where one of the central characters was killed, but as the author had showed us in a way that was quite abstract and obscure, at first we did not realise that is what had happened and had to spend a while going over it for it to make sense. I don't think it would've been better if the writer had told us that's what was happening, but the meaning was buried so deep that he lost us as an audience. So I definetely think there's a balance between show and tell, and being careful not to go overboard either way.
THANK YOU
I'm quite tired with books with too much of flowery proses and pages, that describes one particular corner of the world in 5 pages. It feels tiring to read it, as you're working your brains out on realizing whether or not it's already over or the book had moved on to another particular corner
I once read this advice somewhere: When you're done with your work, count the number of times you have used "was". Edit your work to reduce that number by half.
What if the count is an odd number? OH GOD WHAT IF IT'S AN ODD NUMBERR!?
@@Brindlebrother
Find a sentence like this in your draft, and do this to it:
BEFORE: What hit me *was* feeling that I'd never get over her.
AFTER: What hit me, *a* feeling that I'd never get over her?
Now you can eliminate half of the rest!
One more thing, read through and everytime you see the word "thing", write a new way to say it excluding the word.
@@Brindlebrother i hope you’re not waiting with baited breath!
@@srj34 then edit again to remove the comma splice, I hope?
The issue with a lot of advice when it comes to creative mediums is that it’s all so vague. “Show don’t tell” has always been one of the infamous ones. But this video is perfect. It narrows down what exactly that means, gives examples, and some phrases/hacks for writing it ❤
Amen.
"Whatever you do, keep writing."
Thank you so much, that part really helped
I think my biggest issue with writing is falling too much into “default” actions when writing emotion. I’ve decided that journaling my experiences, regardless of the emotion, really helps in creating a reference to use because emotions are so varied and you can cycle through them
Such a good idea. I set out last year to make my readers cry and I've succeeded. I get off on it I think. LOL! It's so much more work, but what's the point of writing if not to move people in whatever way right?
@Neghie Thervil . Hi, that'll be weird I've never done this before. So that's really what I want ...I want my readers to cry or at least feel for my main character but it's kinda hard gor me to do so ... can I ask since I don't have anyone ...what makes a reader feel the "traps" "the never things gonna workout for fl no matter what he does" " bad for her" ... oe at least what to search if you have any ideas pls 🙏
This is the most respectful description/guide to "show, don't tell" I've ever seen. It's something I've always struggled with, because nobody could ever explain it to me in a way that 'clicked', yet everyone INSISTS on show over tell. The fact that you even give examples of telling used well is such a relief to me. Instinctually I've known that it's not always necessary to 'show', but I needed an expert to finally confirm it. Thank you!
The best writing channel by far. Every video is a special event.
I just came across this channel for the first time. I agree with you. Hands down, this is the best writing channel on the web!!!
Every writing channel I follow is filled with comments of people saying: "The best writing channel on UA-cam...", and stuff like that.
@@gabrielp9646 obviously it can only be true about this one...
@@gabrielp9646Yiz. But this channel is the best.
@gid I can't think of any other channel off the top of my head that has a similar format or does the same as this one. Inspiration strucks everyone from different places. Alexa Donne has a channel about writing that has some long-ass videos that you might find comforting to listen to while your brain starts grinding. Maybe check Cartoonist Kayfabe if you want to hear a couple of guys pasionately talking about comics and that have plenty of knowledge about American comics and its history. But these are the channels I frequent nowadays, I can't remember any channel about songwriting or music that hit me the same way so mileage may vary.
5:53 Use evidence
7:21 Concrete no Abstract
10:13 Specific sensory
12:15 Thought and verbs better than Body language.
15:32 Dialog
17:52 Narrator voice
24:03 When you can tell
Concrete no abstract justu!!
@@mariared1670 Lmao
Dude bless you
thank you, i have adhd and no patience
Maybe it's the lack of sleep but I felt like every "bad" examples shown in this video did a better job of conveying the story..
One thing I love about stories in books is I always visualize the scene in my head and it's stuck. I probably have a clear view on how the coastline looks like, how the hotel rooms are built, how characters feel things, sometimes it's so well written i even deduce things that weren't even talked about. That's when I know a story can be magnetic and engaging to me, I personally love to feel taken hand by hand to the place so I can see it myself
As a novice writer what I like to do is pay attention to what the characters would. We usually don't notice some things but focus on the others, so I like to show what the characters are seeing
Hmmm ... such a very good point. Otherwise, we're just writing what we see. Thank you for this comment.
@@anniefh7399 you're welcome
I thinking the same thing
That's good advice. A strong instance of this is in Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun. It's a romantic comedy where every 4 panels of the manga contain some sort of punchline from some sort of misunderstanding that the characters frequently have, but gekkan shoujo actually makes these misunderstandings hilarious because we're seeing it all but the innocent character is confused as they see only a part of it, a tool of dramatic irony. For example, main character talks about an idea for their comic with his neighbour but a side character crushing on that neighbour overhears, and thought their boss was a normal manager by day but a stripper working in a gay bar by night. They weren't even talking about bars or strippers.
@@aureliaavalon this is why I love the writing community. Nobody is trying to keep things to themselves, when we have ideas we share and discuss them
I thought I knew the differences between showing and telling. While I did know some of comparisons that you discuss, I learned more and even better how to use the distinctions in my writing. I also really liked that you explained the “why” behind showing vs telling. Why not give out the info straightforward and simple? Because that takes the fun out of the game of reading. Thanks!
Really this whole video demonstrates that from inception this advice could have been narrowed down to "Don't just tell me, tell me why."
I just wanted to make a list sooo
●you gotta show when it's about emotions, opinions and sensations
●use evidence to show:don't just say this character is kind, what prove that this character is kind?
●don't use verbs like (thinks-knows-understands-realizes-believes-wants-remembers-imagines)
●don't say the character feelings directly, describe it so the reader feel it to
●read about body language of different emotions, but don't rely too much on it
●try engaging different and unique senses
●show emotions through dialogue
●don't use too much adverbs
●sometimes it's better to just tell(if it's not that important of a scene)
|writing exercise|
take a paragraph or a scene and try rewrite all the telling to showing
Or, alternatively, you could just write your story/novel the way you want to do it.
Good reply. I like these guides sometimes but I just don't care too much to follow them as gospel because I'm not writing for my time period. I'm writing for a generation yet to come. So the rules of today may not apply forever.@@MrRosebeing
"Sometimes authors present information like a dictionary definition, rather than an in-world reference that fits naturally into the story" That's super helpful thank you so much!!
You have given some crumbs, some slices and some the whole loaf here. We all took something away from this. Bravo and Thank you!
i can't believe this information is online for free right now. this video is a MASTERCLASS. so helpful.
sometimes I prefer telling, especially when the author's showing is WAY too exaggerated, to the point that it almost looks like purple prose
Me too, telling doesn't sound bad all the time. I think balance is good, not just one or the other all the time.
I would say if you think there's been too much showing, it's probably just information that does not need to be conveyed to the reader, rather than a section where it would have been better to tell.
Yes, showing can be too detailed, long and tiresome
Some writers do convey a good story by telling. For example J.K Rowling and Jane Austen are famous tellers. It really depends on the story and the reader.
I've felt for some time we've given way to visual purple prose.
What a magnificent little manual on the ofttimes confusing distinctions between "showing, not telling", Diane! I have never seen it so clearly laid out. "Show, don't tell." is repeated in the writing community about as often as "All writing is re-writing." so much so that it is easy for writers of all levels to get down on themselves for not knowing how to do this thing that is apparently such "common knowledge" that they, (the confused writer) should apparently just know how to do it; when nothing could be further from the truth. Like most things in life, the knowledge of how to "show, not tell" is not innate--it is a skill--which fortunately means that it can be learned. With this video, you have made learning how to do so much more accessible to those of us who struggle with this issue. God bless you for making it, Diane!
"Smooth seas do not make skilled sailors." African proverb
That "writers are usually in a hurry" is actually my problem, I'm so glad I watched this video. I've been trying to "slow it down" but I have no idea how to and I didn't understand why it felt so rushed.
My book has too many raised eyebrows and 'their heart beat faster'. I need more ways of showing XD
Instead of a raised eyebrow:
Delia snorted in disbelief. Literally snorted. She was glad her mama wasn't around to hear, but she couldn't help herself. Jackson's story grew more far-fetched every time he told it.
Instead of a fast beating heart:
" He came right up to me! "
"No! What'd you do?"
"I broke out in a sweat, of course. We're talking major waterworks. I had to keep my arms at my side the whole time! Why did I have to wear white silk today of all days? "
"Oh, Sue. "
There's a book called the emotion thesarus. It's basically a thesarus of different stuff your character can do when irriated, scared, angery and more. Maybe that could help give some variation.
@@c.9231 you make it kinda funny to imagine. It's like that "She near inhaled the soup" but for everything
Try raising the heart and having the eyebrows beat faster
Me too!!!
This video alone helped me more than a semester did back in my school. Your job is flawless. Thank you so much for your help, and know it makes a huge impact in my writing and scenes development.
I've been teaching Creative Writing at a high school for ten years, and this video is one of the best instructional videos I've seen. My students really benefited from your examples.
showing someone is friendly : oh hi Mark.
ah yes...someone quoting the room in the comment section of a video essay on writing. Perfection.
The great 19th century novelists (English, French, Russian, American) did alot of "telling". Their works are timeless masterpieces.
Correct. The above is how English teachers and "writing teachers" make a living.
People don't always want to re-read and "solve a puzzle". I prefer writing to be powerful, creating an impression as you go along. Yes layering is a skill but "show, don't tell" is a highly overused mantra, and regularly misapplied. The work students discuss in English Lit classes is NOT generally the greatest work.
factss
@@RS-xx9ve Then treat your readers like idiots. Spoon feeding the audience isn't a great experience for either party. Many of those classics don't have the same skilled writing that modern books do; don't confuse having been good with still being good.
"Chuck Pumpernickle" busted my chops unexpectedly
i laughed so hard at that
I paused it and came to the comments to see if anyone noticed. I’ll continue now. 😂
I'm trying to figure out if she was being serious.... like.... really?!
The struggle with me regarding “Show, don’t tell” is that I live using auditory sensory input. I’m totally blind, so I struggle with showing characters’ face expressions and body language a lot. I tend to not use a lot of visuals in my writing for that reason.
The tone of the dialogue or the rhythm of the prose can say a lot without needing any visuals at all! I once wrote a story where all smells were described in terms of tactile sensations, and that made the sensory details more vivid, in a way.
Here is some better advice then: tune in to weird fiction. Get someone to help you find Horrorbabble on UA-cam and then you can listen to hundreds of great stories that destroy this "show, don't tell" nonsense.
Great! Use what you know of using your other senses to understand people and situations. Your narrative voice will be original.
I do this too
Mane if you blind how tf did you type this?
Thank you for reminding me of this. When I was in high school, I could write stories confidently but after I graduated and found a job, I rarely had time to write and lost my knowledge of writting in those years.
When I picked up the pen last year and started writing again after all my burden was put to a rest and that I could finally do what I want to do, I found that I lost my inspiration and my writing feels rigid. I couldn't pick up where I was wrong, only to feel that something just doesn't fit. Even though I tried so many ways to write it over and over again, it just doesn't feel right and forced. At times I felt like crying because I could feel that I lost something and writing doesn't feel as fun nor as enjoyable as it used to be. When back then, writing can make me feel like I was interacting with my characters but now, all I felt was just... Empty.
With your video, I finally realized what it was. Thank you. Although you may not read this but I am very thankful to you because you helped me resolve the things that has been plaguing me. Although there is still a long way to go because there's a lot I have to relearn what I had lost, this is just the beginning to my dream as a writer.
Thank you.
Thank you for sharing your experiences. It is difficult to return to writing after a long hiatus, and I understand why you lament that loss of time and closeness to your stories. I'm so glad that you've returned to writing and are wholeheartedly pursuing your dream now, and I'm happy to have played a small part in that! I hope you continue forging that connection to your characters again. Keep writing. :)
This is exactly the video I needed, I'm looking back at my old writing and realizing how much "telling" I did rather than "showing". Ever since following this advice I find it so much easier to immerse myself into what my characters might be thinking or feeling, and it's easier for me to fill out pages. Thank you so much!
This spoke volumes to me. I really need to read books more that provokes emotions, setting the scene where I escape reality. I seriously put my remote work on hold to listen to this insightful video. Thank you for your tips and helpful advice.
Do you know any books I can read that makes you escape reality? Like feeling the characters emotions, etc?
I really appreciated that this video was not full of adverts made it very easy to follow.
Let the character’s emotions Color the way they see the world ✨
I so needed this! (Telling?). I stifled the hundredth yawn as I struggled to understand how to decipher which path my writing had taken. Was I telling or showing? Exhaustion threatened as I poured over unfulfilling sources to find the elusive answer. “Could I trust this post? Would it leave me hungry for more?” It did not! I devoured every example, repeating them over and over. I blinked. My quest had ended. Leaning back into the comforting cushions of my armchair, a small tear formed at the corner of one of my reddened eyes. It sidled its way halfway down my cheek before I wiped at it with the back of my painful key pushing hand. (showing?) Wow, just writing this silly comment proved to me how much work I need to do! Thanks for this video!
First of all, I can't tell you just how glad I'm when I stumbled through this video. I have been searching a lot of guides and tips just to find the answer of why my writings felt so stiff despite being so elaborate and fanciful. Since my english education as a non-native speaker is pretty much informal, I always thinks that my problem is just my lack of vocabulary, so this video is really, really a great help for me. Once again, thank you!
Thank you so much for watching and commenting! I'm glad to hear that it unlocked something for you. Keep writing! :)
This video is God-sent. I began writing this month. Never checked on how to write yet and still your videos appeared in my recommendations.
Cool!
At 17, I wrote poetry. Now I write short stories. I'm not good at it, but your video helped me see a better way to write. Thank you for taking the time to make this video. I will edit, rewrite and rewrite again.
Well, the one thing I learned is that sometimes It's okay to tell, not every character emotion cue has to be delivered with nine hundred paragraphs. Sometimes simplicity is a good thing, especially if you want to create a fast pace. Sometimes showing can get long-winded and is more useful for melodramas as opposed to something more action oriented like what I am writing.
I love how well researched and organized this video is. I even caught myself jumping between emotions as you presented the different examples. I am sure this will help me a lot. Thank you.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart, Diane. I was shaking and even jumping at some moments.
As a not-so-pro writer, who was trapped in the anti-writing traps of this world, I thank you for assisting in my freedom and empowering my creative endeavours.
Especially, I loved your last quote. "Whatever you do, keep writing!" DAMNNNN
I love writing. It makes me feel alive but I wasn't writing much for a while. But thanks to you and a lot of other stuff- it WON'T happen again. I PROMISE.
Lastly, I just wanna say, "You're majestically awesome!"
Dang, this video was extremely clear and easy to understand. As a very novice writer, some writing advice are difficult for me to follow, but this had very specific advice that I can actually implement.
I just KNOW I'm gonna watch this video a shit ton of times
A few moments into this video, I decided to watch it till the end, but i did something better, I listened till the very end.
You are truly an expert.
What a well-researched, well-organized video. This is truly stunning.
I always send my drafts to the people who read the most out of my friends and family. One of them being my mother who’s extremely critical when it comes to me and my writing or dancing. The other person being my best friend, probably my biggest fan, who’s not only immensely good with wording and handling emotional topics but also knows that I can accept and love to hear criticism. I’m very thankful for her. She’s not judging me for spending most of our time talking about my story and my characters and my favourite story lines and how I create families and their crests and how their powers work and how they perceive love and affection. And, of course, how I love to make them suffer. I don’t know why I just wrote all this down. It has nothing to do with the video but I just had the urge to write this down. Thank you for your attention.
Laura: There is no substitute to effective critiquing than a first/second draft GREAT editor. I know of 2.
Laura: Get a job. You will never be a writer 😂
I'm currently 12 years old and would absolutely love to be a writer in the future. I spend most of my time reading and writing stories, or just making up little bits of stories in my head. This video helped me with my writing immensely!! I've already been told on many occasions that I write well, but this video just put the icing on the cake. :) Definitely will be using this in any future books I write.
(Omg, all these sweet replies are making me genuinely tear up ngl- I reread the story I wrote and I kind of don't like it and I would say I've definitely improved in my writing, but if anyone is genuinely interested in my writing I'm working on a psychological horror/crime/mystery/dark story on Wattpad since I like the formatting- I'm planning on making it at least 10k words per chapter and have like, 50 or so chapters! Again, thank you all
You'll give up soon enough kid
@@johnxina7496 how motivating!!! thanks for the encouragement :)
@@xXLesbian_MessXx youre lucky enough you even get time to write. but thats cuz youre a kid ig
@@johnxina7496 what the heck man let the kid have their dream
@@xXLesbian_MessXx don't listen to them I believe you can be a great writer in the future, I've been writing since I was 9 and have done a lot of great things, I know you can do it
Jesus!, with these techniques, you can make narrating "how the grass grows" entertaining
ikkk
Abundant rain this year meant the grass on this particular African plain was tall and thick. It swayed in the warm night breeze as we sat around the fire drinking "the good stuff" and listening to Frank's ribald jokes. It was when he froze mid-punchline, eyes fixated on the perimeter, that we realized something more than the wind moved through that grass.
@@c.9231 , said David Attenborough.
FR LMAO
@@c.9231 that sounds great. You should definitely make a book.
I’m a teller who wants to learn the art of showing through well-crafted words. In the past decade, I’ve mostly written academic papers, pleadings, and research. The transition is overwhelming at times, but I know I can get there with persistence and hard work.
Glossary of eminent journals in my shelf, stacked up in twenty’s and five rows. Hardly will you find one without my my name engraved in gold ink. 22 years as the editor academic Journal on abstraction and showing. I exhibit about 120 articles and research works in funky blogs yearly! I’m a teller by trade, i observe, deduce and inform on fact. I tell, but it doesn’t go far. Never really catch on, few eyes know the worth. But kow, I want my audience to see words and read flowing thoughts, I want to be an artist, I want to take them on a journey they can follow. I want to show. I want them to see for them selves.
🙏
I feel the same way coming from academic papers and persuasive writing
This is perhaps the best tutorial on show, don't tell I have ever seen! So well explained and with practical examples. Thank you for this video.
Haven't finished the entire video yet, but what I feel is the overarching idea, is that as a writer we must imagine how something we want to express should be filmed without voice-over.
We are basically creating a visual picture (and yes, also some sounds, smell, taste, etc.)
For me the main challenge with this is always to remember it, and to keep using it.
No.
Man this is so helpful thank you! My problem is while I studied at University I had to write so much analytical, explicit stuff, that I sometimes catch myself writing my novel as meticulously orchestrated, and cross referenced, like a scientific paper. I am trying very hard to avoid that, and your advice was so good, that I now know what to look for. Thank you!
I certainly understand this. I then went on to writing formal language in my employment roles. I am now re-learning how to write imaginatively, narratively.
As a new writer, I found this very helpful. Thanks. This is the first time I really understood "show don't tell".
I am working on a dystopian fantasy where a highly-sheltered girl with an education based on encyclopedias published in the 1980's is forced out into a future world. Telling the story in the first-person allows the reader to discover the world as she does, but many of the details of the how the world works must be told to her by other characters. My early draft has some long dialog passages which I am working to break up to be more natural, but I'm finding it a challenge to show things that ground the action and give understanding of the environment. I'm thinking now it may be better to leave it mysterious. But I'm finding it a particular challenge to write in first-person and convey details of an unfamiliar social structure without a good bit of telling. The narrator would have no way of seeing the scenes that would show many details. In real life, we learn many things by being told, not shown, which is why we have textbooks and classrooms. But I don't think readers want to sit through a history class. And the fun of the story is discovering the world as the character discovers it. I'm working on getting the right balance. I have to rethink how much is really essential for the reader to know.
How much - and when. When keeps readers turning the page is wanting to find out.
One trick some authors use is: shift the narration perspective. In other words, it is ok to have multiple first-person views (each in its own different chapter, of-course).
I'm thinking your story might come out better if it was told in the third person. Because then the narrator could know and tell things that your main character wouldn't have to know or even know beforehand. Good luck! 😊
@@winnmiller6012 That's a very good suggestion.
@@winnmiller6012 That is true but he must limit exposition dump despite the narrative style.
Incredible content! Lot's of deep information every minute and high quality visuals.
This is the first of all these writing tip videos that is ACTUALLY helpful. The given examples and your pace of explaining really helps me understanding. I can really improve my writing from this, you've earned yourself a sub
"Show, don't tell" is a big issue in my writing and this video is extremely helpful in clarifying this. It was great learning from all these examples. Thank you!
Wow, I watched this 27-min video for over an hour and a half, trying to hold on to every detail so I can help my writing. I will be back to rewatch it and take notes then. This video just has so much vital information that I wish I knew before I started writing and posting. It's clear the amount of dedication you put into this video was tremendous. I will be looking up the references you included here. Thanks so much and I look forward to seeing more of your videos in my notification soon!
These are golden essential guidlines for struggling writers like us.
Finally got around to watching this video, and I'm so glad I did. I've been writing for a while but can't get anything completed because I just don't feel like I'm conveying what I really want to say. A lot of it is because I'm trying to tell in more interesting ways, rather than just showing in simple ones. There are a few spots here and there where I feel like I've succeeded in showing, but this video has helped me identify all those areas that need improvement. Thank you!
Your videos are so inspiring and beautiful! I've seen and read many videos and blogs on this topic, but only yours made me FEEL like I can actually do it.
my readers never really point out anything wrong with my writings, but i knew theres lots of areas to improve on. it didnt feel 'real' or 'dramatic' enough to make me feel excited over it while reading (as the writer herself). this is great, thank you so much!
I have watched countless videos on the show don't tell rule, but by far, this is the one that resonated with me the most and made me more or less understand the concept.
I struggle with that a lot. Thanks!
This is the best video I have seen on show don’t tell. Thank you! I realised from watching your video that I have been writing for the reader, not the character. Brilliant advice.
I'm learning Chinese and I found a Chinese book series aimed at learners. Each story tells an incredible emotional story or a mystery, yet using only the first 300 words they teach you.
I wondered how she was able to bring these huge stories alive. How can someone write more emotionally engaging stories with only 300 words than some of the adult fiction I've read in English?
This video helped me understand that she's describing the situations, and part of what makes it so interesting is you figure out for yourself what's happening underneath the surface.
Excellent video, thank you!
I can't believe you're putting up such content for free. You post quite late but it's worth the wait. I learn so much from your videos. Yours is the best writing channel on youtube. Period.
Wowwwww, this is exactly the video I've needed! You put in a lot of great examples instead of just talking/reading about it, and it was well-organized. Seeing the actual writing helps tremendously. Thank you!
This is probably the key thing that's felt wrong with my writing, that I wasn't able to pinpoint until now. Thank you for the video!
Not the Hero we wanted but the Hero we needed. Thank you so much for making this content; It means a lot for us who dream of writing something great one day.
I remember struggling with this in early drafts of my own book, but was advised later on about showing versus telling, and it made a world of difference. Not just for beta readers, but for myself in rereading chapters. As if I subconsciously knew something was off and even annoying, but needed others' opinions to bring that to light. Your video is a great refresher of what I've learned, and still have to catch myself doing at times where one is more vital than the other, though there's still room for both overall.
Bookmarks for myself:
19:04 and 19:41
13:40
24:06 -> When to use show vs tell.
10:20 -> use the senses instead of abstractions for description.
12:50 > only use body language in extreme moments of emotion.
For what it's worth, I think it's perfectly fine to tell. Dickens and Poe told us all kinds of things and they did just fine. . .
I do agree. Nowadays, thought, this type of writing seems to be less popular . Access to e-media is prevalent and, as someone noted above or somewhere, attention spans are shortening. I have a 7month old grandson whose mother put her phone with Pepper Pig playing to soothe him. He was upset and grizzly because he had a fever. I don't object to that, perse, but was shocked that this was actually an option. It has just occurred to me that showing (visualising) might be a way of lengthening the attention span. That'd be a wonderful thing.
She says in the beginning telling is not a negative all on its own, but along with the right amount of showing, you’ll give your readers atrokger and more impactful connections to what’s happening in the story.
I just LOVE your videos. For some reason, they're so soothing to me (and interesting too of course). Watching them really feels like treating myself. Thank you so much for another gem of a video!
This video is with great details and information. I appreciated finding your page. I do struggle with showing than telling. And this showed me clearly how to fix this thank you.
How educational and constructive is this writing guide! I really appreciate your sharing and I’m grateful for the guide 😊
For those wondering, yes, Chuck Pumpernickel was a joke that apparently didn't land, even though I say Palahniuk right after. That's what I get for trying to be silly. 😂You can read the adapted text version of this video over on Medium: quotidianwriter.medium.com/how-to-show-not-tell-the-complete-writing-guide-45cb72f02541 (Note: I've replaced _The Secret Garden_ quote with a contemporary author, as it is a book rife with racist and colonialist messaging, and I regret including it in my initial examples.)
You can check out my behind-the-scenes notes for this video on my Ko-fi page: www.ko-fi.com/post/Behind-the-Scenes-How-to-Show-Not-Tell-C0C32BTG3
My summary notes:
Six Strategies for Better Showing:
1. Use evidence to support your claims.
2. Replace the abstract with the concrete.
3. Substitute vague descriptions with specific sensory details.
4. Avoid relying too much on body language.
5. Show emotion through dialogue.
6. Filter observations through the narrative voice.
Where to Tell or Blend:
+ Moments unimportant to the larger narrative
+ Summaries of routines, time passing, or repetitive conversations
+ Some aspects of magic systems or sci-fi world-building
+ Character thoughts
+ Occasional backstory and exposition
Where to Show:
+ Emotions (Particularly the main character's feelings and assumptions about how other characters are feeling.)
+ Sensations (This includes sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch.)
+ Thoughts (Words like “realized,” “thought,” and “knew” might signify this, but don’t feel like you need to avoid those words entirely. Just make sure there’s not a more interesting way you could phrase it using concrete evidence.)
+ Attributes or opinion-related adjectives (Especially in relation to how a character, place, or situation makes the protagonist feel. If you make a claim like “He was smart,” back it up with evidence, such as mentioning the time he Macgyvered a key from dental floss and a spatula.)
+ Flat Phrasing (This might include overused wording or an abundance of “to be” verbs like “was.”)
Ways to Show:
+ Specificity
+ Action
+ Dialogue
+ Sensory Details
+ Internal Thought
+ Narrative Voice
This is *really* helpful...thank you!
@Diane Callahan No video or online course addresses my biggest question about show vs tell, which is: How can I show and not tell WHEN I'M WRITING IN FIRST PERSON! All of you use third person examples, but how can I avoid telling when the narrator is someone TELLING a story in FIRST PERSON, through the ENTIRE BOOK..?!? :S:S (meaning: "I was alone in the room" is telling, but "I couldn't see anyone else in the room" is also telling, and "I wished someone else was in the room with me" is ALSO telling).
@@gabrielp9646 The advice is geared toward third person for sure, but I feel it applies to first person as well. First person can get away with more blatant telling, though. To me, the key difference with first person is that the details are filtered through the character's unique perspective rather than the author's voice. What would that particular character notice? How do they phrase their thoughts in a distinct way? For example, a first-person narrator could say, "I hated him," but it's perhaps more evocative to write, "I wanted to throw a stapler at his head." That makes the statement visual and original, giving more information about the character's personality and adding humor. So, with first person, I'd advise leaning into *narrative voice* as a tool for showing.
The example with Mary is told in third-person limited, but it also feels natural in first person, so it could serve as a guide for "showing" in first by focusing on the character's actions and thought process: "I opened my eyes and squinted in the sunshine streaming in through the open window. I stretched, feeling more relaxed than I had since . . .
I sat up and looked at the clock. It was after eight. My little Jane had slept through the night. For the first time.
Just like Billy.
I flipped the covers back and stood. I snatched my robe from the back of the chair and slipped it on. I didn't want to think about Billy. The doctor said it wouldn’t happen again. The odds against it were astronomical."
Hope that helps a little. Keep writing! :)
@@QuotidianWriter Hello, and thank you for answering. It does help, but just to clarify: When in your examples you say things like: "I didn't want to think about Billy" or "feeling more relaxed than I had since..." Would that be considered "telling", instead of showing?? Because those are EXACTLY the kind of lines that give me the pains xDxD
If you don't read this reply, thank you anyway. Your videos remind me a lot of the Brandon Sanderson online courses. But it's nearly impossible to ask Sanderson questions... Or I guess I should say getting some answers. Thank you, and sorry for my broken English (not a native speaker).
@@gabrielp9646 It is telling, but don't worry about telling too much! It's not a bad thing to state ideas and facts directly sometimes, especially in first person where the reader expects to hear the character's unfiltered thoughts. Think of it as pairing telling *with* showing; yes, the writer states that the character feels relaxed, but we also "feel" that relaxed state in her description of the sunshine. It might help to pick up a book written in first person by one of your favorite authors and flag instances of "telling." I think you'll find that many authors rely more on telling than you might guess. Your English is great, by the way. :)
Never underestimate the power of telling a story. If everyone wrote like this it would be a sad world indeed. Not every story is intended to be a screen play. There's theater and then there is storytelling. Not everyone likes theater.
You're taking it too literally.
Good storytelling IS theatre, because it's a very similar art.
What they’re saying here is to have a blend of the two! I bet your stories suck
This is so helpful. I love all the examples given and the quality advice. I hope your channel blows up because many people would benefit from it!!
Love this!
This video is going to be the reason bad writers become good ones, you captured so much in 27 minutes. I am blown away.
4 Minutes in, already learned something valuable. Thank you kindly
Such great content! Best explanation of show don’t tell, I’ve ever come across. Thanks for all the hard work that went into summarizing the many perspectives, creating the examples and providing solutions. I’ll be rewatching this regularly as I rewrite my WIP.
Diane, you're absolutely fantastic. Thank you for always putting so much effort into your content. Much appreciated.
I wasn't even a writer before I watched this now. I love you. Kind of want to start writing
You just made me realize that I'm explaining too much without actually explaining anything.
Beautiful. I have no writing background and my grades in literature were always the lowest. I feel overwhelmed and inspired even as a layman. The exerpt at the end was just beautiful.
I lack the words.
I got up immediately to comment my appreciation, but any telling felt inadequate to me. So i liked and subscribed. Hopefully I would come to visit that place of beauty again in through your videos.
This video made my day thankyou. I am going to revisit some of my favoourite videos and books with a new lens of observation.
Thankyou again.
I'm so glad to hear that the video was helpful, and thank you for your support! Having no writing background can give you a unique perspective and approach that writers too enmeshed in the world of academia might miss. Lean into your own strengths and interests. Keep writing! :)
@Diane Callahan - Quotidian Writer This is the best advice you can give anyone without a writing background.
Here 3 years later and my god your one of the few people I can tolerate teaching me about writing. It’s so relaxing and relieving. no longer do I have to sift through bias bitter writers opinions thank heavens