How to create DEPTH in your writing (easy method to make your novels and stories more immersive!)
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- Опубліковано 28 гру 2020
- Lack of depth is a story killer. No one wants their writing to feel shallow and surface level.
In this video, I'm talking over an easy way to add depth to your writing and to make it more immersive.
Creating depth in your writing makes all the difference to the reader, it adds immersion and it makes your writing feel far more accomplished.
But how do you create depth? How do you make your characters and your worlds feel like more than just something you invented, five minutes ago.
I asked myself those same questions this past week, when I was writing a story. So, I thought I’d share my approach to creating depth in my own writing , in case it’s helpful to anyone else.
I’m going to talk through how I add depth to both characters and settings, with some examples from this week’s story.
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Some writers love info dumps, but detail is dry information. However, depths is about immediacy and emotion, which is why your second examples are immersive.
Instructions unclear; Inserting 30k word prologue.
Since you couldn't name what you did there:
you're "adding character-emotion to the character-description"
and "adding a time (future or past) to a places description"
This is very good advice. Thanks a lot. It helped me through a tough problem
I agree! backstory and basic info delivery systems seem to be less effective ways of drawing a character. I also like to imagine a character cinematically and then try to turn those visual details into prose
Absolutely. I'm a visual-thinker and a visual writer I suppose, if such a thing exists. That sounds like a good way to pinpoint what would be interesting about a character while avoiding the obvious/less interesting bits.
It’s so much better to interpret setting through the characters’ experience of it. It’s a way to tell us more about the characters too.
It was raining by the time Jill sat down at her desk to review the reports from work. The desk top was large; but the only thing on it besides her reports was a goosenecked desk lamp.
Versus: When the first rain drops pelted against the window, Jill’s shoulders slumped. The room darkened, mirroring the world outside the window. She immediately reached over and turned on the gooseneck desk lamp. Soft white light flooded her desk top. It wasn’t sunlight, but it was better than the alternative. After she reread the same sentence three times, she gave up. The rain was once again the victor. She had no choice but to just wait it out.
Versus: Jill smiled, nodding as the first rain drops tapped out it’s melody on the bay window. The tension emptied out of her shoulders. It was par for the course. When the room darkened, mirroring the world outside the window, she didn’t disrupt the mood by turning on the gooseneck lamp. She let her eyes adjust. She finished reviewing the reports in record time, yet again awestruck by the rain’s effect on her. It had always been that way.
Same setting and conditions, first told not shown. Then shown as being experienced in a negative way versus a positive way by the character. It’s an extra opportunity to give some personal insight into the character - hinting that the rain consistently affects her mood and ability to focus but not saying why. That could be something touched on in a later scene.
Thanks for your example !
I was looking for some depth into my novel , about a character's perspective on a particular setting .
Yours helped !
Thank you very much !
@@MG-ud2jo Oh great! Thanks! I’m glad I helped. I’m still learning myself and others have helped me on concepts so just trying to pay it forward !
Happy writing!
@@MG-ud2jo Update. I’m still learning but in the example above, if you can get the reader asking the question “why is the character’s mood and ability to focus so powerfully affected by the rain?” - then when you give the reader the answer (which is likely found in their backstory) it doesn’t feel as much like a dry info dump - because the reader is now curious and asking you to tell them that information.
Again, if you get them asking the right questions and properly set it up. I’m not sure this concept is 100% right…but it sounded like something I will want to remember and try to incorporate in my story.
You still have to show not tell but timing might be important too when trying to avoid the info dump effect in the reader. What do you think?
Umm... may i ask how do you start your stories? I've been struggling to start a story but i still don't know how to start my story, ca you give me any opinion?
@@user-re3is5uh4h I’m flattered but I’m no authority. I’m still learning. But for me it all starts with the kind of story you want to tell - some call it a genre.
Like this:
You want to tell a performance story, with a protagonist like Rocky.
You want to tell a mystery with a protagonist that’s a detective like Sherlock Holmes.
You want to tell a thriller with a protagonist like John Wick or Christopher Nolan’s Batman, Dark Knight.
You want to tell a romance with two protagonists like Harry and Sally.
Yeah I’m using movies not novels but the broad strokes of storytelling via the two mediums are the same in many ways.
You can see how the kind of story you want to tell gives you immediate insight about what kind of main characters you need to write about in the story and it also gives you ideas about what kind of challenges those characters might encounter and what their main story goal might be.
Once I know the genre, then I have a starting point for what the main character will want to achieve in the story. VERY GENERALLY, for instance, a detective is going to want to solve a case or find a killer and bring them to Justice.
A man and a woman in a romance will try to grow and navigate a new relationship. In a performance story someone is going to try to succeed or win at something with high stakes. Etc.
Now you’re starting to give yourself direction on what the story is going to be about and what it’s not going to be about.
Next I give the protagonist a “wound” or “fatal flaw” or deep seated characteristic that affects their life to the bad. It affects how they live their life, the decisions they make and therefore where they are in life when my story begins.
When you start your story, you need to already know what your character wants to achieve in the story (genre) you’ve decided to tell and you need to think about why they haven’t been able to get that thing yet.
It should be because of the wound that has held them back up to that point - which they will be forced to try to heal in the story in order to get what they want! Your story should be about somebody starting at point A and their life is not as good as it could be; but if they dealt with their issue then they could get to point Z and be transformed and rewarded with the life they should have. Your story is about that journey from A to Z.
You start the journey by showing us the main character’s status quo / comfort zone / normal life and you show the reader how it’s lacking. Also it’s important to make the reader connect with protagonist if r don’t like them we have to at least empathize with them so that we want to see what happens to them. Many say you should start your story with the protagonist for that reason but I don’t think you have to.
Off the top of my head, say you’re writing the romance genre. You start your story showing a woman eating in an expensive restaurant. She’s got the latest iPhone, she’s dressed in an expensive suit. She’s wealthy enough to buy anything she wants.
She has a career she loves that keeps her busy. She gets a call and it’s her assistant needing her authorization to carry out a task. She’s not mad to get the call - this is what she lives for.
She’s on the phone taking care of business - but then she sees a man stand up from his table, take a small ring box out of his pocket and get down on one knee to propose to the woman sitting at the table. The woman says yes and the whole restaurant applauds - except for our career woman.
She just watches with a sad look on her face. She’s not in a relationship because her last boyfriend (in high school) cheated on her and she hasn’t gotten past the betrayal. She doesn’t trust anyone with her heart - which is why she can afford to spend so much time on her career - because she doesn’t have a significant other.
Starting the story this way, you just showed us where she is now (point A). You’ve hinted at what’s going to happen during the story (a relationship opportunity where she will have to learn to trust the guy and take another risk to be happy) and because it’s a romance story, it has to have a happy ending (that’s the industry standard. If it ends tragically it will not / should not be marketed as a romance because the readership expects it for the genre.
This is another thing about genres - there are conventions and obligatory scenes that tend to happen in each kind of story. In a romance, there’s the obligatory scene in which the two people that fall in love have to first meet. It’s called a meet cute.
I got off into the weeds 😂 but to start your story you should also have a good understanding of story structure so that you can deliver your story in keeping with how we humans’ brains are wired to take in our stories.
I’ve got more. I’ll finish it in another comment. 😂
Im a year late to the party but I have to say this resonated with me. As an aspiring author I am no stranger to watching 'Writing Tip' videos from all over UA-cam, but this is the first time I felt something click. I felt like I was back in school again, eager to learn and listen because I recognized the value in what you were saying. Thank you for sharing this. I've subscribed!
Thank you so much for letting me know that. It really does make the time I put into these videos worthwhile 🙂
Just discovered his channel. I’m a new subscriber!! Great advice.
When I'm about to write characters I use three words and let them write them selves following it like a law. Nothing bothers me more then when characters break the rules of how they're supposed to act... Unless it's done well and is noticed by other characters. It could be supernatural some kind of mental illness or whatever...(shrug) love your work bro, keep it up.
That's a cool philosophy. I can see how that would help your characters feel consistent for sure. Great idea 🙂
A lot of these tactical-level prose recommendations boil down to variations on "show don't tell," but it's a recco worth repeating because all the different facets. When it comes to "showing" character as opposed to "telling" character, you always want the reader to be the one who draws the conclusions about a character's nature or personality. Rather than state declaratively that a character is "nervous", illustrate the constituent physical and mental symptoms of nervousness so that the reader realizes oh, he's a nervous wreck.
That's a great way of putting that, let the reader be the one drawing the conclusions, rather then stating it to them. I like that. Thanks for watching!
My advice is: Don't tell who your character is the moment you introduce them. Peel away these layers as the story goes on, and not immediately.
And instead of just saying that Susie doesn't feel like she belongs in her job, show her struggles in her job environment: her not getting along with her employees, her being shut down by her boss, her just being bored at work, etc.
Yes, absolutely. Agree with you on both points there. I feel like the word 'storytelling' in itself is misleading, it should be 'storyshowing' really!
You dang near saved how I was writing my story. My current story is my first time writing so I am very parionoid to even write more than 2 pages. So ive been watching a lot of these types of videos to gain more knowledge and gain ny confidence to finish the first Chapter. And you have been the only person ive watched that has gave me this tip. And info dumping was something i was extremely worried about, and you helped me a lot with seeing the difference between info dumping meaningless information and instead adding debth. Thank you.
That's awesome, thank you for letting me know that it helped! Good luck with your story and keep writing :)
This video gives me such insight into “show-not tell”. So helpful.
Thank you! Glad it could help, I really appreciate you watching 🙂
It seems to me that the improved versions are all about centering the narration around the character's point of view, guiding the reader to step directly into their shoes, if you will. Great video!
I love your examples--this is a really great video. I think my first drafts are usually the "this is the room with these things in it" type descriptions and then the revised versions is when I take the time to make it sound more immersive...at least, that's the goal, haha!
Thanks so much ☺️ I’m the same, I write something, delete and write a better version. That’s what I love about writing, you don’t necessarily have to get it right first time 😂
“Get it down. Get it good. Get it great“. That’s a piece of advice I’ve come across on my journey while learning craft.
I’ll struggle to “get it down” without immediately turning around and editing every sentence after I write it; 🙄😕 but at least I’ll have a goal. 😂😂😂.
I appreciate you giving examples. It really helps this new writers.😊
I LOVE this video. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. will get back to you tomorrow mate
😁 Great! I’m really glad. Thank you!
Such a difficult topic to talk about, but the examples rlly did make me see what you mean. Feels like it's gonna be very helpful for a lot of people
I hope so, thank you :)
i love your pfp 💚
If I had to analyze the difference between your meh and good examples it would be that the good examples leave much of the work up to the reader. That involves them in the process, which is the very definition of immersion. We've all seen offices, we don't need to be told what color the walls are unless there is something pertinent about that fact. Pointing out odd details like the broken light on the coffee machine tells readers something very specific and lets them fill in the mundane details on their own.
That’s exactly it yeah. That’s my approach anyway, other writers may look at it differently of course.
I loved these examples and I dont think its just you, too much info can make the scene or character seem out of sync
Glad it's not just me 🙂 Out of sync is right. Stories feel unbalanced like that, for me at least.
Underrated but amazing video! Thank you for the examples!
I needed this for my character, I’ll take the tips and improve
Great video. Sounds like the real difference between a setting with depth and one without is that you place the characters in the settings and describe the place in the context of the characters. Similarly, when you create characters with depth versus those without, again you describe them acting in the context of the story. In other words, nothing is simply described. Everything is presented as meaningful in light of the story itself.
That's a good clear way of putting it - "place the characters in the settings and describe the place in the context of the characters."
Exactly, to me description alone isn't quite enough to make everything feel like it fits. There needs to be some blending.
thank you, sir. i want to write a novel, but i never knew anything about writing. i got desperate and found your channel. you help me a lot and i already have recommended you to my friend and she really enjoys you. i dont know what i would do without you :)
Brilliant, insightful and true. I do teaching through my videos and it's always a challenge to move away from dry descriptions of facts and instead connect doctrines, society's issues and world events to the viewer in a way they can feel them. Thanks to your video I'll be more conscious about these considerations in the videos I'm working on now and for the future.
My first listen to your channel and wow what an experience -- wonderfully vivid examples after the rewrites! Looks like I have a lot of work ahead of me coming up with laser focused immersion flashes to swap out the boring list-like descriptions currently in my nearly completed project. 😅
Well thank you! I really appreciate that. Don't be too hard on your work though, everyone writes differently, my way isn't the only way :)
Love your channel Kieren. You are succinct. I learned exactly what I needed.
Thank you so much! That's great to hear 😊
I have been writing since I was seven, and the progress I made from being focused on describing the room where the characters are in had been transferred to how they would describe the room, how they feel around it, and how they see it rather than perceive it. I like to drop in occassional little details that may not make sense in the present, but later will be, and it's been hard for me to transition from that to letting the reader be in the same shoes as the character in.
Really nice exercise to practice!
Thank you 🙏🏻
Not only good advice but gracefully delivered
Thank you!
Thanks, mate. Really clear. Good examples.
Thanks for being here watching ☺️ I know you know your stuff already, but if there’s anything you’d just be interested to see me cover, I’m all ears.
Love this video!! You can really see how the second examples are better! And I love the “iceberg” metaphor too-did you hear that from Brandon Sanderson or elsewhere? I remember it from his course!
Thank you! ☺️ oh I’ve not actually seen his videos you know, I keep meaning to though! I hear a lot of good things.
Nice and concise. Thanks.
Love these tipss
Amazing advice that finally made it click for me. Thank you so much.
Fantastic! Glad to hear it helped ☺️ thanks for watching!
This channel is fantastic. Thanks for the insight!
Thank you! I really appreciate it, glad it could be useful 🙂
Thank you for this! 😊
I honestly think that you are so underrated on UA-cam. You deserve a lot more subscribers. I’ve learned so much from your simple, straightforward approach to writing. The traditional information out there are too much to remember when writing but you’ve narrowed it down to simply breathing life into characters by giving them human emotions and thinking of them as real humans so that writers can have a lasting impact on the reader. Thank you for everything you do.
Wel this comment absolutely made my day ☺️ thank you so much, I truly appreciate that. I’m very glad I’ve been able to help!
@@KierenWestwoodWriting my friend the pleasure is all mine. Keep up the good work
Great video! Congratulations!
Damn bro u blew my mind with the Davey thing
Found your channel through Meredith Phillips' channel. I love this video! Definitely will be checking out more!
Oh hey thank you! Meredith is a gem isn’t she?☺️ I felt in very good company being mentioned!
@@KierenWestwoodWriting she is. She's hilarious! We're a lot alike which is why I love her channel so much.
A bit late to the party but: Thank you, that was very insightful.
For the Scene in the Station, what do you think about engaging more senses? Something like:
Jed pictured Davey accross the road, sitting behind the desk in the station reception. Glare from the monitor on his face, grey carpit under the flourescent bulbs that buzzed too loudly. The smell of cheap coffee wafting through the air, as the coffee maker's Green LED made a valiant attempt but flickered off again.
Absolutely! That works great, I'm just an underwriter when it comes to details I think.
That helped a lot thank you!
Awesome! Thanks for watching :)
Im about to write the most juiciest wattpad book known to man kind I gottta lock in
High-quality content here.
Thank you 🙂 Appreciate you watching.
Thank you.
i love this
Thank you! 😀
Im fifteen, and writing a book of my own.
I agree.
Alao you cant just dump all your info at once
Love the examples. I think this video belongs in the Writing Techniques playlist?
Right you are! Thank you, I’ve added it ☺️
About info dumping, I heard someone describe info dumping as giving the reader information before they’ve “asked” for it.
Author should be prompting Reader to wonder about set ups / questions that they have planted in Act 1. Readers should be led to ask questions about the characters, their motivations and backstory etc.
Once you get the reader asking those questions, you can parcel out the answers in larger chunks of information. It’s probably best not to use ONLY detail / list / facts / telling format.
Instead, try to show as much as you can; but if Reader is actively asking the question in their mind, then that’s the best time to use a more expositional format if you can’t otherwise get the information out there.
It won’t be dumping at that point because you’re giving the information when it’s (hopefully) being requested. This would for sure be better than the “as you and I both know” approach.
At the time you reveal information or soon after, create more set ups and questions to keep pulling the reader forward through your story for the pay offs and answers. Reader’s Curiosity is a powerful ally to Author.
I had never heard info dumping defined/described this way before; but it struck a chord with me. It’s almost more about the timing - but combined with craft in using a good balance of showing and telling and dividing the information in the right sized chunks, it seems like a great way to avoid Reader skipping sections of your narrative because they’re bored by detail they don’t need yet or didn’t ask for yet.
That's a really good way to put that. I think that's valuable.
Thanks for sharing it :)
@@KierenWestwoodWriting Sure! I appreciate you validating for me that it holds water because I wasn’t sure about it - but it seemed to make sense.
I enjoyed this video. Thanks!
I'll keep this in mind with my writing and consider the discord as well :D
2.6.24
Great video,thanks...do u have any book recommendations that displays these perfectly,u know,for research purposes
There's a concept in information theory: Information is surprise. It's why it's possible to compress computer files. And it's why idiosyncratic details are more memorable than expected ones.
The problem with idiosyncratic details are that you have to convince the reader they are realistic and believable. The only reliable way to do that is go there IRL and be as observant as possible. Real police stations are full of quirky details that convey more information (and personality) than the carpet was grey and the coffee machine had a broken light.
I get that yeah, but you could say trying to convince people that things are realistic and believable is the entirety of the pursuit of writing. There has to be some element of 'suspension of disbelief' from a reader, or it would never be possible to enjoy a story. We writers I think just have to make it as easy as possible for readers to do that with what we write.
@@KierenWestwoodWriting Sorry, reading back my original comment it comes across as a bit blunt and critical. I try to keep it brief and on point and the first thing that gets lost is tact. I like your use of detail, what I've read of it. And I think we're kind of talking past each other.
I'm all for suspension of disbelief, but the reader doesn't owe it to the writer, it has to be earned.
I feel strongly that to be good, writing has to clear two hurdles. The first is clear communication. And that's mostly what writers talk about when they talk about good and bad writing. But the more profound hurdle is telling the truth. I don't mean historical or scientific accuracy, which is (in some cases) optional. I mean, does the writing resonate?
And I think looking at trends over the last forty years - writers have become better at clearing the first hurdle, but have become oblivious or contemptuous of the second.
It doesn't have to be profound. PG Wodehouse's writing is completely frivolous, but it *resonates* because he was an astute observer. It seems like a lot of storytelling now - I don't just mean literary, but films as well - is just creators picking over other fictions for cliches and stitching them together in slightly different ways.
@@nehukybis No problem at all, I only took it as you furthering the dicussion :) I'm with you. Feeling like a hack or a cliche is a big fear of mine for sure. I know for sure which side of the discussion of honesty in writing that I'd like to be on, but which one I'm actually on I think will always be a place to keep focused on for me.
Thank you! I’m trying to start writing my first book, and trying not to add too much details into the first book. Do you plan characters lives first before you write??
I do and I don’t! Some characters have more detailed backgrounds than others, but I think whatever you can get before you start will help ☺️
Depth in subject ~ depth in the comment section.
Thanks KW!
I'm using this suggestion for a new NEW wip!
Gus In Boots
A novella!
^_^
Thanks for watching all year, and Happy New Year! 🥳
What it seems to me you're doing when you write with "depth", is focusing on showing how the character is feeling or interacting with their environment. Not saying that the character is nervous, but describing their nervous feelings and behavior when faced with something that would incite that anxiety, and framing their current position or history in the frame of that emotion. Not saying a room is dull and worn, but describing how the characters (and thus the readers) would feel or notice the dirt and drabness when they enter it; thus both telling us about the room and events, and the character simultaneously.
Does this track with anyone else? I totally agree it adds depth, by indirectly describing a space, event or character through the feelings, thoughts, behaviors and interactions of the characters instead. Perhaps focusing on the actions and internal world of the characters, rather than the things and external aspects of the world?
That makes a lot of sense to me. Essentially reality is only ever real because we are experiencing it, so you might say it's impossible for the setting of the story and the inner feelings of the character to be entirely separate. Interesting!
@@KierenWestwoodWriting Perhaps! My thinking is that by focusing on the internal experience of a character we can more easily experience the setting and story through them.
Dialogue can help with description, also something happening during the description. Here's a description of a place, from my (unpublished) novel, "For Selenya". Our hero John is at a mountain lookout at the edge of a forest on an alien world, talkng with an alien woman who had just told John how she loves this forest:
“Look John, how beautiful it is: wild, alive, riotous with green and-look-so many colours of tiny, unassuming forest flowers: in the shade, or peeking out from under a leaf, delicate little things you could so easily overlook-and yet it is rough, unconquered-so different from the neat way of the lowlands. Just these few scarecs away from our highway, how it all changes!”
She breathed deeply, seeming to inhale the very essence of the place she so loved. John found himself doing likewise, for the first time consciously sensing the kaleidoscope of mossy, woody, fruity, flowery fragrances; he fancied he detected hints of pine forest, cedar, orange and peach blossom, and more, separately and together giving rise to a fine, exhilarating freshness. When he was here before, he was preoccupied with his troubles, but now he saw it with fresh eyes. Her love for this wilderness was infectious.
She led the way around the bench, and they started strolling along a path that led directly into the forest. The sun was still bright outside, but soon the light softened, and the colours of the surroundings muted into mellow, shaded hues; and there was a great stillness. The rippled sounds of the light breeze that had wafted the foliage at the lookout did not penetrate.
Dude, I am writing my first novel. I completely agree, it's not just you! I've been wondering about this. Thanks for the vid! You got a new subscriber!.
Hi Kieren,
This was great but I noticed that you went from past tense to present tense. And sometimes you need both and it mixes the narrative up. Any advice?
You're right, all of the 'first version' excerpts here I made up on the spot when I was writing the video to counteract the second versions, which are from an active work in progress that isn't finished or edited. I just picked parts I thought demonstrated what I was talking about. They're not perfect.
The only rule with tenses as far as I'm concerned is that they can't change within the same passage of writing, so as long as you end one before you start another, you can use past or present. I personally like stories that go back and forth in time periods, but I favour it being for longer stretches, rather than brief diversions. That can get confusing I find. So I would personally stick to alternating chapters, something longer like that if possible.
Otherwise, if it does just need to be a line or two, perhaps how it's presented could differentiate it, for example you could italicise a quick line in a different tense and set it on a line of it's own, just to highlight to a reader 'this is meant to be different'. Just a couple of thoughts.
Just a quick question, and for my own personal knowledge. Is your second sentence about the gray carpet and the coffee maker with red and burnt out green light a sentence fragment?
I’m pretty sure it is, yeah. I don’t aim for perfection with this stuff, it’s more that I’m just trying to demonstrate something and I’m not editing as much as I should.
@@KierenWestwoodWriting No biggie man, I literally just wanted to know for my own personal grammar recognition. Because I write sentences like that all the time, which makes sense within context, but then I go back and find out they are fragments. And it sucks because I do not want to have to repeat the subject and verb when I believe the reader knows what it is, based on the context of the paragraph.
@@chuckwieser7622 Ah, makes sense. This is one of those things where we have to make the choice as to whether we think it will detract from the story or not I suppose. Sticklers will hate it I’m sure, other readers might not even notice it. I’m with you, I’ll use them here and there and spot them later. All part of the craft I guess! ☺️
It’s also good not to repeat the same word in sentences following one another
Hello, thanks for the video. Can you please take Shirley Jackson's advice
It feels as though in depth is really more subjective then the opposite being objective if that makes sense
I see what you mean
I thought you said "Lack of depth is like a serial killer"
That would be a wild analogy! 😂
Show don't tell ?
Thanks. Show Jed wanted peace and quiet and not tell us he did.
Like a third person subjective experience