"Trauma is not what happens to you. Trauma is what happens inside you... What happens inside you is you get disconnected from your emotions. You get disconnected from your body and you have a difficulty being in the PRESENT moment. You develop a negative view of your world You develop a negative view of yourself You develop a defensive view of other people These perspectives keep showing up in your life in the present because they're the "stupid friends" (that keep bugging your mind) and so the issue is not just to recognize what happened 10, 15, 30 years ago but actually recognize their manifestations in the present moment and to transcend them. Do that by reconnecting with yourself. You find yourself again. This is recovery. To recover means to find it again. The loss of self is the essence of trauma. The purpose of addiction treatment, mental health treatment or any kind of healing is RECONNECTION."
I love the compassionate way that Dr. Gabor illuminates what the underlying forces are that operate in the case of addiction (any addiction!), and the way out of that which is not denial or another kind of escape, but some real understanding of what happened within a person (or child) as a result of experiencing a traumatic event. It's not what happens TO you, he urges us to understand, but what happens WITHIN you at the time of the traumatic event. The numbing, the silence, the shock, yes all are there, but the relief you seek in drugs, alcohol, food, anything that seems to ease the pain or help one forget--that becomes a problem in itself. There is a way to heal by recognizing the forces here, so that one can RECOVER--a wonderful word that means the return to one's true self through honesty and the work it takes to effect the recovery. It happens. Its possible. Once you give up the false relief,, (food, sex, drugs, power, etc.) and recognize who you are, and always were, in embracing that self with love and understanding that it's NOT your fault when a traumatic act is visited upon you. It's what you do about it--that IS your responsibility. And no one says this is easy. It may be the hardest damn thing we're ever called upon to do. But its saves lives. And it saves your life! THank you so much for your courage and your work with the whole realm of addiction, Dr. Gabor! It's throwing a lot of light over a lot of darkness , confusion and pain that doesn't need to be! Thank you!
Metta Practice always begins with ourself. 'May I know happiness.' 'May I know the root of happiness.' 'May I know peace.' 'May I know the root of peace.'
I love the idea about thanking your addictions. I can see how some bad habits I can't break would be easier to let go if I could bring them to the forefront and thank them for their service.
I have been going through these exact emotions about my unhealthy coping mechanisms. This explains my whole childhood and my escape into mind-altering drugs. Thank you so much!
Absolutely love Dr Gabor Mate, such a compassionate and smart human being. Thanks, Tim, I loved the whole 2hrs interview! When a next interview with him? :)
Thank you for this one in particular, Tim. His book “In the realm of Hungry ghosts” came to me exactly when I needed it. Very grateful to you both for all the guidance you’ve given me
Wow, what a great title. Care to share how? Just now stumbling on this guy. Started therapy a couple of weeks ago. Would you recommend this book more than any of his other work?
Jordan Diez I haven’t read much of his other work, but the understanding of the origins of trauma and the manifestation of addiction- behavioral or substance based- as a coping response gave me the strength and compassion to make changes in an unhealthy relationship I was in. It allowed me to detach with love & take care of myself first, something that was previously almost impossible for me. Hope that helps and good look on your journey in therapy. It’ll be one of the best things you ever do for yourself.
Hi Tim~🙋this video is so powerful! Thank you! 🙏trauma is what we create within. We must reconnect ourselves, we must go through the recovery. I love the analysis. Inquiry to find myself again. Thank you🙏🚣👍🎥
This polar world is a catalyst and every positive & negative is a blessing...It's how you react to these positives & negatives that matters . Your goal as you headway into these positives & negatives is to try and maintain at "least" 51% positive balance. We are all basically swimming upstream like salmon though a stream of positives & negatives (a catalyst) By learning TRUE OBJECTIVE thinking and just as important, learning behavioral priming you can see these negatives and positives in a OBJECTIVE way and thus calm your emotions to deal with them in not only a more rational way but compassionate way too...Yet I never let my compassion to overrule my rational thinking. They must work together. From all of this you hopefully grow and most importantly understand what makes yourself tick...So many people are trying to understand others and not themselves...But to understand others best is to understand yourself 1st and foremost. Understand how you have allowed yourself to be manipulated and how to raise your self esteem and let go of your ego which was so very much needed in shaping you and helping you grow in every way but is not needed any longer. Care but don't care too much...Balance...51%.
Nice Work . Valuable clip. Love the camera work too, looking sharp all around. Trauma Thank it love it and let it go. Trauma Disconnects you from your emotions , Disconnects you from your body. Transcend it in the present by reconnecting with yourself. Restore the connection with your body and emotions that was lost , once upon a time. Be in the present.
"trauma is a depressed mother" Yeah definitely. And now I'm her, thankfully minus the kid. I need to get better so I don't pass the pain. I so want to adopt.
Tim, I would not say that having anger issues is something you ought to view as a slight on your personality, we can't all want to be these perfect beings that go through life being chilled and calm and sensitive to others we are all different and the parts of you that yo "think" are a damaging part of your personality is but one component of that machine that is who you are. Your DNA is a complicated structure and to hate a parts of it because it doesn't gell with today's world is to unnecessarily hate part of yourself. Oh, and BTW you've lost enough weight now, you're looking a little think in the face. God Bless.
It will probably take time. Be gentle with yourself. Through breath is a good start. You can take deep breaths and exhale with sound. Really be with your breath. Check in with your self. What am I experiencing in my body? Name the bodily sensation, not the interpretation (“my chest feels tight”...”I fell pressure in my throat “ vs. “I’m angry”.). You could make this a regular practice and set an alarm every 45m throughout the day, then take the deep breaths and check in with yourself what’s going on. Develop a relationship with yourself as you would with a loved one. What do you need? How do You treat yourself? Do you push yourself through the day or are you aware that you maybe need some rest and then give that to yourself? How do you talk to yourself? Are you gentle with yourself or do you talk negatively about yourself (“I’m stupid”)? Be curious about yourself. Inquire. Are you triggered by certain situations? How do you react to those? Do you want to push it all away or can you stay with it and observe what’s going on? You’ve got this!
@@penelopeperez5349 , I agree with Gunther! I even go a step further, and when I “go into/focus on my body” (the mind-body connection), I connect the physical feelings inside (tight chest, clenched hands, etc) with my original childhood experiences, memories and trauma. Almost always, many tears release and even guttural cries from deep inside. I can feel myself going back to my childhood, but now as a compassionate adult, who can support that inner child that was buried inside me for so long because of the pain. Dr Maté always says that we should compassionately ask, not “Why the addiction (and I would add: depression, serious medical conditions, disease , ADHD, behavioural disorders, etc)?”, but “Why the pain?” His talks have been helping me understand my pain and to heal! Best wishes!
@@denise2169 totally agree! Learning to compassionately ask ourselves: “Why the pain?” vs “Why the addiction (or as you said, even depression, adhd, etc)?” is definitely paradigm-changing, Gabor Mate is really changing the way we see addiction, disease and trauma. Have you seen his movie “The Wisdom of Trauma”? I totally recommend it!💕🙌🏻
Skip the first four minutes. This clip is mislabeled .Listening to the host talk is not the point. I am not against Tim and his story is very purposeful but I cam here to hear Maté.
Love that, "the loss of self is the essence of trauma!".
This interview with Dr. Mate is one of the greatest and eye opening conversations I've heard in a while. Thanks Tim
"Trauma is not what happens to you. Trauma is what happens inside you...
What happens inside you is you get disconnected from your emotions. You get disconnected from your body and you have a difficulty being in the PRESENT moment.
You develop a negative view of your world
You develop a negative view of yourself
You develop a defensive view of other people
These perspectives keep showing up in your life in the present because they're the "stupid friends" (that keep bugging your mind) and so the issue is not just to recognize what happened 10, 15, 30 years ago but actually recognize their manifestations in the present moment and to transcend them.
Do that by reconnecting with yourself. You find yourself again. This is recovery. To recover means to find it again.
The loss of self is the essence of trauma. The purpose of addiction treatment, mental health treatment or any kind of healing is RECONNECTION."
Noe Dela Fuente Jr. couldn’t have been said better!
Another professional dealing with healing modalities for trauma is Peter Levine. Book is "Waking the Tiger", interviews online on UA-cam.
Thank you for writing this down. That way we can re-read it. Knowledge really is power... and can be life changing.
Thank you for doing this but It makes me want to copy it and I don’t know how. Can someone explain? Please 🙏
@@michellesweeney9440 , you could take screen shots.
Gabor's spiritual insights are totally in line with Stoic and Buddhist wisdom.
Well done!
I love the compassionate way that Dr. Gabor illuminates what the underlying forces are that operate in the case of addiction (any addiction!), and the way out of that which is not denial or another kind of escape, but some real understanding of what happened within a person (or child) as a result of experiencing a traumatic event. It's not what happens TO you, he urges us to understand, but what happens WITHIN you at the time of the traumatic event. The numbing, the silence, the shock, yes all are there, but the relief you seek in drugs, alcohol, food, anything that seems to ease the pain or help one forget--that becomes a problem in itself. There is a way to heal by recognizing the forces here, so that one can RECOVER--a wonderful word that means the return to one's true self through honesty and the work it takes to effect the recovery. It happens. Its possible. Once you give up the false relief,, (food, sex, drugs, power, etc.) and recognize who you are, and always were, in embracing that self with love and understanding that it's NOT your fault when a traumatic act is visited upon you. It's what you do about it--that IS your responsibility. And no one says this is easy. It may be the hardest damn thing we're ever called upon to do. But its saves lives. And it saves your life! THank you so much for your courage and your work with the whole realm of addiction, Dr. Gabor! It's throwing a lot of light over a lot of darkness , confusion and pain that doesn't need to be! Thank you!
Metta Practice always begins with ourself.
'May I know happiness.'
'May I know the root of happiness.'
'May I know peace.'
'May I know the root of peace.'
This is absolutely one of the best Clips by Tim & Gabor......i always relate to it almost to tears!
I love the idea about thanking your addictions. I can see how some bad habits I can't break would be easier to let go if I could bring them to the forefront and thank them for their service.
Meet with him again!
I have been going through these exact emotions about my unhealthy coping mechanisms. This explains my whole childhood and my escape into mind-altering drugs. Thank you so much!
Oh wow, just found this ! .. listening to the full interview now. Thank you so much for this, and cheers from Southern Oregon.
Absolutely love Dr Gabor Mate, such a compassionate and smart human being. Thanks, Tim, I loved the whole 2hrs interview! When a next interview with him? :)
Thank you for this one in particular, Tim. His book “In the realm of Hungry ghosts” came to me exactly when I needed it. Very grateful to you both for all the guidance you’ve given me
Wow, what a great title. Care to share how? Just now stumbling on this guy. Started therapy a couple of weeks ago. Would you recommend this book more than any of his other work?
Jordan Diez I haven’t read much of his other work, but the understanding of the origins of trauma and the manifestation of addiction- behavioral or substance based- as a coping response gave me the strength and compassion to make changes in an unhealthy relationship I was in. It allowed me to detach with love & take care of myself first, something that was previously almost impossible for me.
Hope that helps and good look on your journey in therapy. It’ll be one of the best things you ever do for yourself.
What an inspiring man, actually men.
I love Gabor Mate! His son, Aaron Mate, is one of the best journalists around.
I agree! Love Jeremy Scahill too.
But we never get to see his daughter...what's up with that?
Easily my favourite TF episode yet!!! Get him back 🙏
Hi Tim~🙋this video is so powerful! Thank you! 🙏trauma is what we create within. We must reconnect ourselves, we must go through the recovery. I love the analysis. Inquiry to find myself again. Thank you🙏🚣👍🎥
how insightful! going through recovery process and this is exactly what I needed.
Fantastic reconnection and analysis.
This conversation is great.
Speechless
Great talk, between you two. I'm enjoying it.
This polar world is a catalyst and every positive & negative is a blessing...It's how you react to these positives & negatives that matters . Your goal as you headway into these positives & negatives is to try and maintain at "least" 51% positive balance. We are all basically swimming upstream like salmon though a stream of positives & negatives (a catalyst) By learning TRUE OBJECTIVE thinking and just as important, learning behavioral priming you can see these negatives and positives in a OBJECTIVE way and thus calm your emotions to deal with them in not only a more rational way but compassionate way too...Yet I never let my compassion to overrule my rational thinking. They must work together. From all of this you hopefully grow and most importantly understand what makes yourself tick...So many people are trying to understand others and not themselves...But to understand others best is to understand yourself 1st and foremost. Understand how you have allowed yourself to be manipulated and how to raise your self esteem and let go of your ego which was so very much needed in shaping you and helping you grow in every way but is not needed any longer. Care but don't care too much...Balance...51%.
This video podcasts are much better, not any the audio once were bad but these are great
" to recover is to find yourself"
I really wish Rogan would sit down with dr mate
Same
Rogan is nowhere near the good doctors level. Ferris is much better
Rogan is perfect
The gods of IDW heard you
He already did sit with Gabor. It’s a wonderful interview. ♥️
The question is longer than the answer. Actually love dr. Gabor
Often, the question is more important than the answer 💙
@@akakonoha I like the answers better...
Nice Work .
Valuable clip.
Love the camera work too, looking sharp all around.
Trauma
Thank it love it and let it go.
Trauma
Disconnects you from your emotions , Disconnects you from your body.
Transcend it in the present by reconnecting with yourself.
Restore the connection with your body and emotions that was lost , once upon a time.
Be in the present.
Excellent
Great video!
This is perfect!
How do you find yourself again? Can someone tell? Do we find this in some of Dr Gabor Mate books?
Read The Body Keeps the Score...it will tell u!
The things I've been through there's no way I'll ever be the same again
they say a lotus flower grows on mud. And so can you. Lot´s of love
@@juttaschmieg342 thank you 😊🙏
Thank u
Hungarians are great minds 🤩
Biased, are we??
"trauma is a depressed mother"
Yeah definitely. And now I'm her, thankfully minus the kid. I need to get better so I don't pass the pain. I so want to adopt.
is this the new interview?.Second one?
I think it would be cool if a lot of these interviews would let the guy talk.
Tim is also trying to heal.
Wow
Tim, I would not say that having anger issues is something you ought to view as a slight on your personality, we can't all want to be these perfect beings that go through life being chilled and calm and sensitive to others we are all different and the parts of you that yo "think" are a damaging part of your personality is but one component of that machine that is who you are. Your DNA is a complicated structure and to hate a parts of it because it doesn't gell with today's world is to unnecessarily hate part of yourself. Oh, and BTW you've lost enough weight now, you're looking a little think in the face. God Bless.
@Paul Torrisi...Nice posting. Thanks for That.
How to reconnect ????????????
It will probably take time. Be gentle with yourself.
Through breath is a good start. You can take deep breaths and exhale with sound. Really be with your breath.
Check in with your self. What am I experiencing in my body? Name the bodily sensation, not the interpretation (“my chest feels tight”...”I fell pressure in my throat “ vs. “I’m angry”.).
You could make this a regular practice and set an alarm every 45m throughout the day, then take the deep breaths and check in with yourself what’s going on.
Develop a relationship with yourself as you would with a loved one. What do you need? How do
You treat yourself? Do you push yourself through the day or are you aware that you maybe need some rest and then give that to yourself?
How do you talk to yourself? Are you gentle with yourself or do you talk negatively about yourself (“I’m stupid”)?
Be curious about yourself. Inquire. Are you triggered by certain situations? How do you react to those? Do you want to push it all away or can you stay with it and observe what’s going on?
You’ve got this!
@@gunthernann6691 beautiful! thanks!💕🙌🏼
@@penelopeperez5349 , I agree with Gunther! I even go a step further, and when I “go into/focus on my body” (the mind-body connection), I connect the physical feelings inside (tight chest, clenched hands, etc) with my original childhood experiences, memories and trauma. Almost always, many tears release and even guttural cries from deep inside. I can feel myself going back to my childhood, but now as a compassionate adult, who can support that inner child that was buried inside me for so long because of the pain. Dr Maté always says that we should compassionately ask, not “Why the addiction (and I would add: depression, serious medical conditions, disease , ADHD, behavioural disorders, etc)?”, but “Why the pain?” His talks have been helping me understand my pain and to heal! Best wishes!
@@denise2169 totally agree! Learning to compassionately ask ourselves: “Why the pain?” vs “Why the addiction (or as you said, even depression, adhd, etc)?” is definitely paradigm-changing, Gabor Mate is really changing the way we see addiction, disease and trauma. Have you seen his movie “The Wisdom of Trauma”? I totally recommend it!💕🙌🏻
The Body Keeps the Score.
Wow 🎯💜💜
Skip the first four minutes. This clip is mislabeled .Listening to the host talk is not the point. I am not against Tim and his story is very purposeful but I cam here to hear Maté.
Man, really! This is mega lame.
How so?