When Is Wearing the Kilt Insulting or Rude?
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- Опубліковано 5 чер 2024
- Should You Wear a Kilt to a Non Kilted Wedding? When is wearing the kilt "too much"?
If you wear a kilt to a wedding where nobody else is wearing one, do you risk insulting the bride and groom or their families?
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I've piped at a couple of Native American funerals and the members of the tribes involved in each funeral thought my "tribal" clothing was very appropriate and appreciated it very much.
Thus far, everyone I've met who was very "into" their own heritage respected and supported others who did the same.
I have usually worn the kilt to attend Indian pow-wows in a gesture of solidarity between tribes -- and it's always been welcomed and appreciated.
I asked my sister if I could wear my kilt to her wedding, she said no. I said Roger that... wore it to the reception. Everyone had a blast!
Look at you skirting around the rules, like a true Jacobite...
Scots I think consider the kilt formal ceremonial dress and appropriate at any occasion. The university graduations I've seen in Edinburgh include foreign students who come in the kilt. Quite a few national tartans exist it seems because they were first supplied to students for university events and graduations.
Interesting
In my opinion wearing a kilt is never insulting or rude, I am a sucker for a man in a kilt. However if you are not sure ask beforehand,
Am getting married in Nigeria very soon and cannot wait to be wearing 'the kilt my father wore'👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
My FIL wore a kilt with an important tartan to the clan to my wedding. And after the ceremony, my husband changed into the same tartan afterward. It was really sweet. And for my birthday, he got me a kilt with the same tartan because I’m part of the clan now! So exciting!
And I’m very Scottish but my family line has a lot of mixed family names because my great grandfather ran away and changed his name so we’ve never been able to find my original clan. It feels really special to be part of theirs!
From my own personal experiences, it’s always best to ask.
Because a kilt makes a statement, I have found it to be an integral piece in my ‘power suit’ for any serious business meeting.
They may not remember your name, but they will remember “Oh! You’re the guy in the kilt! I remember you now.”
.....and when the first impression is most important, paring a bespoke kilt with an appropriately coloured blazer and vest, with a tie in the Tartan....very memorable.
Plus, and this is an undeniable fact, women love men in kilts....like cats to catnip!!
😉
I went to my sons wedding with my whole kilt outfit, I was the only one in a kilt, no one had a problem with that, mind you, I'm 6foot 6inch and 260lbs I don't think anyone would dare say anything bad to me.
As a Scotsman, if you ask for me to wear formal attire - that’s what I’ll be wearing. It’s a kilt, or a kilt. That’s the choice lol. Obviously there’s a formal or informal option to that: so I’d adjust accordingly but overall - they know what to expect and so do I. Though I’m lucky as in Scotland most (3/4) wear a kilt/ it’s only if we go abroad to a beach etc that many wouldn’t. But I still would.
I wear my kilt everywhere, on a beach too.
My son doesn’t want me to wear it at his wedding....thinking the suit, for ceremony, kilt for reception. .
Here’s my thing. Especially considering I don’t actually own any suits, just the appropriate jacket and vest to go with my kilts, if I can ask I will. If there’s no way to ask such as funeral and there’s no one else you know specifically to pass it by, then I still wear my kilt, I just make it a little more subdued and respectful. I just do my best not to stand out too much. Though when you wear a kilt you do tend to stand out.
My mother to this day says on of her biggest regrets is not allowing my grandfather to wear his kilt to her wedding.
Thank you, I just got a kilt and I love it.
I wore my semi-formal kilt attire at a friend's wedding, without asking permission. The bride was not pleased with me. Plus, the wedding guests kept asking me if I was there to play the bagpipes at the wedding (which I do not play).
Wearing traditional garb should never be ‘insulting’ or ‘rude’.. being accommodating at a wedding is perfectly fine but they are definitely snubbing you if they use the excuse that they find it ‘rude/insulting’ to justify you not wearing it. Not sure I’d even want to go to a wedding if the bride/groom had that opinion of my traditional dress, would leave a sour taste in my mouth.
My son didn’t want me to wear one, I didn’t. I resent him now. I just bought my first kilt, full formal everything, PC and Fly. I think respect should go both ways.
I come from the Thurs in the North of Scotland and last year I heard of a bride who wanted all of her future husbands groomsmen to be wearing the same tartan, as most of them already owned a kilt in their own tartan this didn’t go down well with the the groomsmen and their partners, as a result, the groom didn’t have as many groomsmen as he thought he would have. By the way, up here if your not wearing a kilt, you are the odd one out, most people wear one from the youngest to the oldest.
Im fae Inverness, im always surprised if there is a Scottish man not in a kilt at a wedding it's just no right
I was married in a kilt. But as my tartan is somewhat less common, it was not able to be rented. So I bought my very fancy one, gave my informal one to my son to wear as shield bearer, and my best man and groomsmen all wore Black Watch.
I was the only one wearing a kilt in a wedding earlier this year. We cleared it with the bride and groom ahead of time, and the families loved seeing it.
If you really want to be rude, and this is something that can only be done in England, is to wear a kilt at an English wedding, without anyone knowing. Bonus points if you play the bagpipes while doing so.
I really wouldn't regard a Scottish person at an English wedding being rude if they wore their kilt at all! Totally appropriate clothing for the occasion in my opinion. Anyone who is offended by it needs to lighten up a bit!
I ran into this recently. They gave permission and it was great!
For real!!?! If anyone not Scottish went to a Scottish wedding they would not expect to have to ask permission to wear a suit or whatever is traditional in their culture!!
How come Scots have to ask permission to wear a kilt!!! Na feck that
I called these lads yesterday!!!! There wee nice❤❤
This is the first time I've listened in and thoroughly disagreed with the two laddies presenting. Wearing a kilt isn't setting a precedent, to me it's just an item of clothing that's comfortable to wear and looks good WHATEVER the occasion. A kilt wearer should NEVER seek permission to do so, nor should anyone be told what to wear, except for occasions when uniformity, practicality, or perhaps common sense decrees. Which is exactly what I thought you guys have been advising us folks out here.
If people are worried what I'm going to wear to a wedding, or want to dictate it (other than say, the best man or usher matching the groom) they aren't the kind of people I'd turn up for anyway, nor would I expect an invite. Yes I understand the principal for women guests not to upstage the bride, or anyone displaying bad behaviour or lack of respect at such an event, but for guys to be concerned whether or not to wear a kilt?? Where does clothes discrimination start and where does it stop? All I would PREFER is the kilt wearer to wear his kilt at the right length, pleats to the back (if he didn't he shouldn't be wearing one), properly co-ordinated, NO white girly socks or stupid ghillie brogues!!! Unless he turned up especially wanting to be laughed at, which of course I would endorse thoroughly, and buy him a drink.
If I was getting married again, I would love it if everyone attended in gorilla outfits if they wanted. I have already asked people specifically do this when they finally put me away, that's the only black I would want to see. Along with a decent piper, of course.
Best comment I've read in years!
Great comment, my only concern is when you say "put me away" do you mean underground or in a padded cell?
@@TC-th1ey - Something you wouldn't say to his face I presume.
@@TC-th1ey "Put me away" in the UK generally refers to the choice of disposing of one's body after death. For example, cremation, burial in ground or at sea.
@@maxwellfan55 Context matters. “If I went around saying I was Emperor just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me they’d put me away!”
I wear kilts full time, including when it snows because I own no pants. I agree with asking if it’s ok and if the awnser is no, I accommodate by not attending the event.
The same thing for me.
if you want it to be an issue then it will be...myself I don't own pants ...those who know me ,know thats what they get...PS I'm NOT ashamed of my clothes
I just went to a wedding in my kilt last weekend. It was in a barn. It was a laid-back wedding. Some people dressed up, some wore shorts, and everything in between. Everyone seemed to get a kick out of my kilt.
Here's an alternative if told not to wear a kilt to a particular event like a wedding, wear a tartan pocket square and/or a clan badge pin. You might be able to get away with tartan trousers and waist coat.
My sister had a meltdown when I suggested wearing my family kilt. I was disgusted in her point of view so I had a shirt made in a cow print and wore that to her wedding she said that it was a different type of shirt so I told her it was in honour of the bride and totally appropriate given she walked out of a relationship to marry the tosser she married. #embraceyourheritage
Fucking reet mush👍🏻👍🏻
Setting standards… well done!
If you don't want the guy to wear his kilt to a wedding just say so! Don't be so mean about it...especially to your own family! You did good Terry! 👍
This is utterly insane. I don’t understand why you would need to ask beforehand. I don’t need to ask anyone to wear my kilt and never will.
Wore my kilt to a friends wedding many years ago as they were fine with it. A side issue cropped up at the wedding (the bride was Filipino) where there were a large number of Filipino's who seemed to be amazed at what I was wearing & wanted photos with me. I found out later that my friend (the groom) had to surreptitiously point out to all of them that if they valued their lives, they wouldn't refer to it as a dress in my hearing & had to explain about it being my formal military dress uniform - apparently they all though I was a cross-dresser (which is apparently fairly common in their culture).
Lol
I agree wholeheartedly. I’d reach out to the bride and groom first. Rocky and Erik are always right on point. Decorum, respect for others, and empathy are important in these matters. It’s not your day. It’s theirs. And, if they give the approval. Then King’s To You! But realize that above all of this. It’s a day for the Bride and Groom and their Family, and their Culture.
This is good advice. I've never been married but personally I would think it was super cool if people wore kilts 2 my wedding. I never tell my friends what 2 wear, not even @ a celebration of me. In general I think people r way 2 boring & I live people 2 express themselves.
when in doubt, wear a great kilt! 😁
I did this. I wore a kilt to my son's wedding. He and the groomsmen were in Marine dress blues, and so totally outclassed me. Bride and groom thought the kilt was awesome but her family was freaked out.
...welcome to the family.
You can always tone down Highland Dress for a wedding if you're concerned it might "show up" the bride or groom or something overly persnicketty like that. Just wear a kilt with a shirt, or sweater or vest, a day sporran, plain hose, plain shoes. Leave the fancy evening wear at home. That shouldn't be objectionable, a simple casual outfit; but being the kilt, it's still going to be dressy enough for the occasion.
I suppose this might be different across the water, but my kilt is literally my poshest outfit so I will automatically be wearing that to weddings and any fancy event. If someone was to say that I couldn't, that's on them, but I'm not spending a fortune hiring a dinner suit so I'll end up wearing my bog standard office suit and that will have to do them.
As you say, it’s good manners to meet the dress code for an occasion. My son’s wedding is morning suits for men, but he and his bride will allow the equivalent in kilt wear. What is unfortunate is the wearing of a Prince Charlie coatee (which is evening dress) for a daytime wedding - but then Americans wear a tuxedo (also evening wear, what we would call a dinner jacket) for weddings, so cultural differences must be allowed for, I suppose. Unfortunately, the confusion of evening kilt wear with day wear is common these days, as is wearing a belt with a waistcoat.
Americans just never know how to dress. That Nazi guy in Raiders of the Lost Ark had our number!
That is what manners are meant to do. Being courteous of others is considered to be mannerly.
In October my younger daughter is getting married to a good young man of strong Creek Tribal descent. The Bride has requested that the groom's family ladies wear their traditional Creek ribbon dresses and that her Campbell men wear our Highland black tie. Bride and groom and their bridesmaids/groomsmen will be in "normal" dresses and tuxes. She wants me. as Father of the Bride, in full kit including fly plaid, dirk on the belt, sgian dubh in the hose, and my military miniature medals on my lapel. This is going to be fun!!!
I'm pondering about the wedding photo at 3.20. In those families who is actually Indian? The bride in red/gold lehenga looks European/White, the young woman at the left in violet sari either and the older Lady in the lavender Salwar Kameez as well looks European. Interesting photo indeed and all three most widely worn Indian womens' attires in one family!
To even "hint" at appropriation based on looking white or European is rude and highly inapproprate without actually knowing the people personally..you don't know who adopted who, who has heinz 57 DNA or any other scenario..I have people all the time try to tell my I'm not Jewish, Persian, Scotish, Irish, Roma and yet I am..all within my grandparents to me..some families really love to mix it up with who the choose to couple with, that does not illegitimize their claim to their heritage and your right to question it based on skin tone..not cool
@@kimberlycherrine-bell5371 why are you acting so hostile?
You see a "hint" where there is none!
I simply said, I'm pondering about the pic with those many different and that I find it interesting.
And that is exactly and solely what I meant to say!
I'm not implying that it is inappropriate to wear a certain outfit with a certain skin colour and I'm not questioning the heritage of any of those persons!
I'm just curious and I think that is very well allowed!
@@Safra62 I wouldn't say that the bride doesn't look indian (at least to me), India is a huge country with many different groups that look surprisingly different when compared to a "this is what an indian should look like"; the others could all be the grooms family, this wouldn't be uncommon as many weddings have a bride, groom + grooms family photo (also not uncommon to include the mother & sister(s) of the groom as part of the wedding party)
We have a rule where we do not wear Marine Corps Dress Blues at a wedding or other formal celebration unless the host or groom is also in Dress Uniform. It is considered a faux pas if you out dress the host... or person of honor!
I would agree “no” if you know you are the only kilt wearing member as a guest.
It's a sign of humility to adjust to the bride's/groom's wishes as its their wedding and not meant as an event for guests to showcase themself by setting themselves apart from the other's. I served in the army and I'm occasional kilt-wearer but it never popped up in my mind to wear an uniform or kilt to a wedding.
@@G1CAAAAEO I have worn dress blues at the request of the groom… otherwise, coat and tie. I could see, however, that on the invitation where the groom has requested the wearing of tartans, guests may opt to a sport coat and tie complimentary to the groom’s request with kilt (Marine Corps or clan tartan)
My ancestral family were septs of Clan Macleod! Is there a representation of Hunting plaid for Clan Macleod?
Simple courtesy.
The day isn't about you.
I think here in scotland it is just a given that men wear kilts. No one asks.
It's all about respect.
I wear a kilt 7 days a week Spring, Summer and Fall and everyone I know is aware of this. Unless the bride and/or groom has an objection, I will wear my kilt. Otherwise I will wear trews.
What is the tartan Eric is wearing in this video?
I wear Kilts all the time now because I have severe Crohns disease.
It's the only comfortable thing that I can wear.
So I actually have to wear it anywhere at any time.
So do I avoid certain functions because of this.
Or am I allowed to wear them anywhere at any time ???
I don't want to offend anyone.
I don't usually wear my kilt at weddings for the same reason my wife and I usually don't dance at weddings.* You DON'T show up the bride and groom, period.
*We dance competitive ballroom, so...
Wear it. Just keep above the waist appropriate to the occasion and don't over accessorize: hats, fly plaids, dirks, etc.
Would you wear your kilt to a sporting event, like homecoming at my University in Iowa ?
yes.
full send.
My thought is "When in doubt, don't"
I was invited to a Medieval/Renaissance themed wedding and I asked as soon as I was invited if I could wear a kilt and the bride immediately said "No." She was concerned that I would go "regimental".
Why would it matter and how would she know?
@@ivanheffner2587 Brides can get very picky about details for their wedding. Ever heard of 'Bridezilla"?
My brother-in-law’s girlfriend practically begged me to wear a kilt should they get married.
Why not, instead of wearing a kilt, you wear tartan trouse?
Being Scottish, I get the kilt being very overly Scottish but the trouse/ pants are a lot more subtle. Still look great.
Can you ware a western snap button shirt
Possibly yes but not advisable. If the shirt has any one feature of a western shirt (or any other cultural shirt) then its probably fine, but if it has ALL the features then it will look like a goofy culture clash. If the shirt has flapped pockets, or snap buttons, or the angled thing on the back, that's fine, its just a feature of the shirt. But it it's got all these different things then it would be too much. I say, just wear a plain normal shirt. the pseudohistorical jacobite shirts would be even worse.
1/4 Scottish. History McDowell/McDougal
Don’t forget your talcum powder (baby powder?)
I don't want this question to be taken in a negative way, as racist or trolling but so many (too many?) ask about wearing kilts at a wedding so do Scottish Americans (Scotts Americans?) or Anglo Americans think that a kilt is only for formal wear? Do they not know that we have a huge variation including formal and casual styles?
As I said please do not take this the wrong way, I am a Scot asking a real question out of curiosity.
wondering how the culture is treated so far removed from home. I know that the English here get confused and it is only hundres not thousands of miles and often one or two generations away. I would be interested to see a video dedicated to how the cultures have diversed.
Oh and btw when I say I'm a Scot I mean Highlands and not an annexe to England, which I suppose ia hypocritical of me as I now live in London, England.
colin Paterson it does sound hypocritical, but a man’s Highland spirt keeps with him. Wherever he goes.
You can wear a kilt no matter what! As a Scottish American myself, if I have any reason to be wearing one, you can bet I'll be wearing it. I actually wore a kilt just because it was summer time and I was going out in a informal restaurant. Just match the outfit to the occasion.
@@ryank1273 Good comment.
To answer your question, I think most Americans do understand that there are different levels of formality for wearing a kilt. The bigger issue is that many, if not most, Americans (that are not involved in kilted activities) think that a kilt is only to be worn rarely, like only for special events. Meaning that many, if not most, think one should only wear a kilt to very formal affairs (to which the level of dress should be formal) like weddings, funerals, etc; or to informal but rare/special events like a Highlands games or on one's birthday. Whereas, to wear a kilt for everyday things, like going to work, hiking, get groceries, etc, would be a bit of a surprise, maybe even a shock, to the average American.
Don't know about the USA but as a Canadian with a number of Scottish ancestors, I know that kilts are rarely worn in public unless at a wedding (even that's still uncommon) or a government/military ceremony... I can't think of a single time I've seen a fellow Canadian walking casually in the city wearing one. Or at least that's how it is in Alberta, my province. Could be much different over in the east island provinces.
I disagree with it taking away from the bride and grooms day. For a man to be told they are to wear only grey/blue/black suits is insulting. That argument would be valid if they also curtailed all the women's dresses and ensured there wasn't too much lace or too bright a colour that attracted attention at all. Bridezilla gonna bridezilla, however.
NEVER!! Unless it's one of those "utilikilt" abominations.
If you think a kilt is going to be too much for an event, you can rock a suit with a tartan tie.
5:50, seems reasonable.
Only for underdressed is the kilt overdressed!
Awesome also...you can just not go lol
can you wear a kilt to church?
Always wear a kilt, if someone has an issue they have easy access to sook mah dook!
I have just been to a wedding, only one wearing a Kilt to great compliments, I totally agree with you. If people smiled more wouldn't hurt, x
Never. The answer is never
Yeah no. If I was asked to not wear my kilt I just wouldnt show up. If it were any other culture chances are they wouldnt care. Scottish discrimination goes deep into american and british culture and I dont abide by it.
wearing a kilt to a nonkilt wedding is akin to the bridesmaids or mother of bride wearing white or otherwise out dressing the bride.