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Modesty, Feminism, Tokenism & My Unorthodox Life
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- Опубліковано 14 сер 2024
- Modesty, Feminism, Tokenism, My Unorthodox Life and being an Orthodox Jewish Woman. This video is all about Julia Haart's new Netflix series my unorthodox life. it delves into a formerly Orthodox Jewish family (of my religious spectrum) and how they have found new freedom in the western world. But Julia Haart, along with her daughters Batsheva Haart and Miriam Haart, make a lot of claims about how the orthodox world views modesty, feminism and gender roles. Are they correct? How do other Orthodox Jews feel about feminism and modesty? Is Netflix promoting diversity or just playing into an antisemitic bias? I answer all these questions in the vid.
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TIME STAMPS:
0:00 intro
0:58 Are Orthodox Jews educated?
2:20 Western Feminism vs Jewish Feminism
7:44 Tokenizing Ex-Orthodox Jews in Media
11:20 Modesty
My name is Batsheva and I run Cynical Duchess, a travel channel dedicating to exploring fashion and culture around the world. I love meeting interesting people along the way and sharing their stories. And as an Orthodox Jew, I encourage people on this channel to embrace their misfit and be proud of what makes them unique and special.
I love this as an African woman, I feel like western feminism is always hyper critical of what doesn’t fit in to the progressive western ideology, anything otherwise is oppressive.
That’s why in this household we are intersectional feminists and support all women and their choices 💅🏾
we must be roommates then, because I subscribe to the same household!
Its so funny, when you live in America, everything Is seen as so black and white, you're either "with us or against us" which is a toxic mindset in itself. but when you step out of the American sphere for a moment you realize that not everyone thinks like this. that actually, there might be people who are critical of western ideology. that it isn't the be all end all
Hell yes!
@@CynicalDuchess you're either "with us or against us"
I usually respond to this type of attitude with some Star Wars humor
_Only a SITH deals in absolutes_
Hear hear!
This is what my Orthodox life has given me:
An excellent education
A MA in Forensic Psychology
I speak 4 languages
I have traveled to diff countries
A love for being Jewish
A strong foundation in morals
Acceptance and understanding of all types of people
An appreciation for modesty
The lesson that life is not like the movies and everything requires hard work, dedication, and honesty.
I could go on but suffice to say I agree with you. Maybe we’ll see your show one day 😉
This comment is gold.
אני שונאת את החיים שלי. דתיה, כן.
@@kfamily770 את מדברת עליה או על עצמך?
Ultra orthodox woman, mom and MD here.
I am on your team!
Orthodoxy has only taught me love, acceptance and has empowered me to want to do good and be the best person I can be, inside my house and in the world!
Chazak!
Can we please get rid of the 'Ultra-' prefix/descriptor? Can we just be Jews?
I’m Catholic - I cover my hair at mass & at other times - I dress modestly - & my family respects me for it. I am tired of the portrayal that because I chose differently I am oppressed somehow. I think in that, we have that in common.
Thank you for posting this. It is very thought-provoking.
absolutely!! keep doing you girl!! live your best life and Netflix can suck it. we are very similar in that sense
@@CynicalDuchess
May HaShem bless you & fill you with His Shalom.
Bravo 👏! I am an ultra orthodox woman and I am in your team!! Being modest is a choice I love to make every day’! If you need a person to talk about your challenges regarding this topic: I am right here for you!
#modestsisters.
Stay safe and blessed!
I commend you for that! As a muslim, we also dress modestly and it is liberating. I want people to know me for MY MIND not my body. I find it oppressive that the western media has made women think that their worth is found in their looks.
@@applerox101 absolutely agree ,I feel more free when I cover up ,as an Orthodox Christian
As a muslim I totally agree. I just love your video’s, very interesting and love the similarities between your and our culture/religion.
omg what a beautiful comment!!! Thank you so much for watching and yes!! I love the similarities between our cultures!!
The amount of Muslim fans that Netflix's Shtisel has is unreal! I know the show has it's faults but I found it completely riveting. I binge-watched every episode over a couple of weeks and would have happily taken on another season.
Whilst you are correct that Julia seems to mislead about her personal background, and you are correct that regular Orthodox Jews do not face oppression or restrictions and are respected, do you not agree that oppression does exist amongst the ultra orthodox ‘Hasidic’ world?
Julia seems to come from more of a yeshivish background. The types of oppression she shares are not unfamiliar amongst the hassidic sect. I refer to communities such as Williamsburg in usa, Stamford hill in the uk or bnei brak in tel Aviv.
I love everything about being Jewish and I’m a proud Jew. And whilst there is overwhelming beauty amongst hassidic sects, I feel it’s important to have a balanced approach and not ignore certain suppression, restrictions and ill treatment.
Thank you for speaking up in regards to the untruths in Unorthodox. But let’s not forget that unfortunately a minority of families do indeed live with these types of limitations where it is hard for them to break free without fearing the consequences.
honestly I think there's oppression everywhere. it's not exclusive to the hassidic community. I have a liberal non jewish friend whose mom hung up on her because she just simply broached the idea of taking a gap year and not going to grad school right away. that's oppression and control. her mom is always like that and I hate it. I have another friend who was telling me of the mental scars she experienced in her muslim community.
Thats why I think its toxic to constantly point out the bad in Hasidic Judaism (which is beautiful and fulfilling for so many people) because there is bad everywhere. and you're gonna find oppression wherever you go. Hasidic Judaism is not the problem. its certain people who misuse it. just like liberal wokeism isn't the problem, it's my friend's mom-- who misuses it.
I really love this! Being muslim I completely agree! It’s like I’m always trying to prove to others that we are NORMAL people and that we are NOT oppressed! And like u said it’s a blessing to have the OPTION to stay at home or go to work, I chose to work and be an engineer but I’m not expected to do so! It’s amazing the similarities between Judaism and Islam
10000000%
@maysatiyeh7403 Stop dressing for men they will still try to sexualise you and then they use excuses like sin and that women forced them to lust
As a Muslim woman I can relate to this so much. We must raise our voices for this. Thank you for the video. ❤
This is such and eye opener…I feel oppressed in a western world that only sexualised women can claim success
Kudos to you for not taking apart the show Unorthodox but rather speaking about the reality in such an eloquent way.
Wow this was eye opening but interesting to hear -- I've never seen the show on Netflix but your comparisons are really thought provoking! Western culture has a bad reputation of ostracism as inclusive as they want to be, and I'm sure you are not alone in your feelings towards the show. Modesty is different for everyone too and the show's message seems to be very one-dimensional about what the "ideal "standard" should be. I hope that Netflix sees this video!
thank you for watching Ryan!! Exactly, life is a spectrum with a relative sphere of normalcy. Before Netflix gets to taut themselves as the paragon of diversity, they first need to check their ethnocentrism and acknowledge the other spheres of normalcy that may be different to theirs.
LOVED IT . As a Muslim I 100% get what you are saying . I think the word "feminism" and the concept these days completely takes away from true women's empowerment .what's makes one woman feel empowered is very different to another and it is grossly unfair to label an entire community based on one persons perspective
Thank you Sabirah!! Totally agree with you. women are empowered in different ways. Honestly, its actually rather oppressive to say that women can only be empowered one way.
I'm Catholic and respect Orthodox Judiasm. One of my close friends is Orthdox. I love his religious dedication. I gain a lot from discussing the Torah with him. He's a talented musician and funny as hell. Thanks for the video. Entertainment could use another view of religion than the troupe of oppression and the glories of hedonistic whatever.
I love this
Great job, batsheva! So well spoken and I agree with everything 👌you made so many interesting points
Thank you Aliza!!! And thank you for watching! Yah lol someone needed to say these things haha
Wait, Julia didn't make assumptions from far away, she lived an orthodox life. She speaks from her OWN experience. Also just because her husband went to university, the fact still remains that SHE, Julia, wasn't the one with an education, so where was the lie there?
Right on!
Wait what you have not figured out that brainwashing is real and its netfilx doing the brainwashing and not real cultures?
Orthodox Jewish girls in Israel do have an education and they all get high jobs within the Israeli labor market. I don't know what's going on in America but if concerning the education of Jewish women in the Orthodox community, then that is a LIE.
She wasn't in an Orthodox community, she was in a cult.
She had education. Yes. She lived in orthodox community, but right now, she is lying about orthodox community. Have you heard about people lying in front of camera for money? Don’t be so naive.
If you read her book, she has a link you can click on where she provides tangible proof and evidence for every single claim she makes - for example, she provided actual proof to back up her claims of how her community of ultra Orthodox Jews do NOT encourage or want their daughters to pursue college educations and how they do not believe girls pursuing higher education is in alignment with their religious values. The evidence is a literal document from a Jewish private high school from girls that the school officials sent home to all the girls’ parents.
She provides examples from scripture and religious practices, etc.
all her claims are backed up with evidence and proof as well as it all being her and the women in her community’s real life experiences. This is what people don’t want to acknowledge.
Actually African woman unfortunately do get ridiculed (by some) for elongating their lips (husband is from Ethiopia) and I love the various customs and traditions African women exhibit in their culture. Having expressed that, I was very disappointed with the Unorthodox series. I really respect Orthodox Judaism and am happy at the positive representation I've seen so far. Thanks for sharing this video.
absolutely! and thank you for sharing as well!
I loved this girl!!!!!! Thank you!!!! I also wanted to share one sentence from our culture that many people don’t know (forgotten the Makor/source but I’m sure you know it! P.S since I’m natively a Hebrew speaker I’m probably not giving the exact English quoting here):
“A wise man goes to work hard all day, comes home and hands all the money over to his wife”
This sentence surprised a lot of people, but I grew up with this being normal.
The general idea (in a very oversimplified version) is because she’s most home, and most in touch emotionally with all members of the family, she knows best what everyone truly needs, and how money should best be spent.
We’re also considered to have better sense of judgement than men do.
I was totally shocked when I found out that in the not too distant past (only 4 decades or so) many American housewives only had ‘an allowance’! In most Jewish families I knew, whether the women chose to work or not, they controlled how all funds get spent.
They obviously consult their husbands like every healthy couple will, but she decides how all funds are allocated.
I feel bad for women who came from backgrounds that had oppressing female roles....no wonder they’re feeling rebellious...I hope they feel truly freer today.
Joyce Ariza has an amazing interview on jew in the city channel here on UA-cam, it’s honestly one of the most inspiring interviews I’ve watched in a while!
We don’t have a reality show about her yet (work on it Batsheva! ;) but this interview was over an hour and covered a lot of beautiful things. 💕 recommend!
Thank you so much girl for your videos!!!
So happy I found your channel. Finally a voice of reason 👏👏 keep the videos coming. Sending love from Cleveland
omg thank you!!!
i love how you're speaking on this. so important to spread different perspectives and experiences. i love your insights and girl, i actually learned something!! keep doing what you're doing girl, keep the content coming. love how expressive you are and SOO INFORMATIVE!! also i cant with that hand LOOL
Thank you Nadya!! And THANK YOU FOR NOTICING THE HAND lolol nd yes, super important to speak up about different experiences!!
there is a lot of harm imposing western culture on other ways of life!! doesn’t matter to me whether someone chooses a traditional or nontraditional role either 💕
exactly!!! I'm there with you 100%%% I just think in general America needs to reflect on the way they treat women and what they choose to do with their lives.
this was such a great and well researched video!! i hate how much western culture paints some religions as oppressive; as long as you have the *choice* to decide to cover up or run around in a bikini or anything in between, that’s the main thing!! there’s nothing wrong with being modest and as you said it’s actually a really empowering thing for so many people and cultures, and western society needs to respect that 💯
Thank you Taj!! Exactly, as long as we live in a society where people are given the *choice* it's not our place to tell them how to live their life or shame them for their choices. unless its like illegal or really bad for humanity lol
It really isn't Western Culture that sees some religions as oppressive, it's feminism, but of course it has utterly taken over and practically replaced Western culture.
@tajashania Well only reason you had that choice is that you have the freedom to do that if you lived in the past you wouldn't have that choice dont make it like orthodox Jewish is a good thing WE DONT NEED RELIGION it's A PURE LIE AND DECEITFUL oh and before anyone says anything hell was never meant for human but for Satan and his fallen angels and demons read your bible or another religious book even Jesus didn't believe in hell fallen human world will be destroyed
Hi! I have so much to say, and it is all supported to you!
I am a Christian lady, Norwegian and in my thirties. I am conservative in dress. I also only wear skirts (or dresses), all below my knees. My conviction is not covering my elbow, but most of my upper arm, but I have a lot of scars, and uses crutches, so I do only wear long sleeves, all year long. You can actually burn yourself on the crutches in the heat, and it gets sticky too.. That may be more information then people want to know 😆🙈 No cleavage, no tight fitting, but not a burka either. I also don’t wear any makeup, or jewelry except if married a wedding ring, and I don’t cut or trim my hair, or color it. I wrote a post about this on Facebook earlier this summer. About the empowerment of cover up. I too do not look down on those that do different, but when some gets empowered by showing more skin, I get empowered by saying: this is my body, I choose who and when someone can see and touch it, and how much. I do handshake men, but I normally don’t hug men. In my church that is the norm. We only hug family or same gender. Same if we pray for each other, a pastor may lay a hand on you, but that is then on the head or a shoulder, and often very light. We do have some physical contact if you are dating, but normally you are not alone at each other house and so on before marriage. A chaperone are common. For me it is freeing to have that choice. If a relationship don’t go well, you have not give away something that at least for me is very special. I don’t look down on anyone seeing this in another way, this is just my choice. I have been married, and suddenly it come to light that my then husband had some issues he had not been honest about. I was ready to work for the marriage, he was not, he left me and God on the same day, and more things he had lied about come through. I follow Gods leading with that man, and my church family stood with me, so I do not regret marrying him, since I trusted God in it. I think I would have struggled more if I didn’t follow Gods leading in it, so for me it is a lesson for other parts of my life.
I have also been through a lot of abuse, all types, and taking back my body and setting boundaries are so empowering! This summer I wanted to go swimming. It have been some years since last time. I asked in a local Facebook group for the place I live if someone had a secret place for me to go swimming. People was so supportive, sending me pm for places. I did get some “don’t care about others”, “you don’t have a special body, we are all alike” and so on, but the difference between my body and yours, is that my body is mine, I can choose for me, you can choose for you. I did not go into the reason for why I wanted a hidden place, I just said it was personal. It was both for my faith and for my scars, plus you can see on my body that I am very sick, but normally I cover myself up, so people have no clue. I choose who can see my body, and the sickness too, since I try to be more positive, and deal with my sickness, I don’t want comments on it.
I have a college degree in political science, and a lot of leadership and law. I was in student politics, and very active, all in my skirt. I still believe being a mom is the most important job a person can have, and choosing to stay at home with kids, if possible, is something good. I know the society see it different, but every family should choose what is best for them.
I have not watch the newest show on Netflix, but I get wear you are coming from. Netflix is cherry picking to make a good story, but not every Orthodox Jews are like that. It’s like for other religions and faiths too, there are different “styles” (directions) in lack of a better English word, and you are not submitted just because you dress and do things a bit different then most of the society.
Thank you for sharing and this video was a very good one.
Love from Johanne, Norway
I feel that conservative values give some protection. Young people living in a society without conservative values are more susceptible to making mistakes in their lives . When you are young you think that you know everything and understand everything. And, naturally, you don’t and you make unnecessary mistakes. There is a reason why people tend to become more traditional with age. It Is not because they become old and boring, it is because over the years they learn from their own painful experience that traditional ways are designed to protect you from unnecessary hurt. Of course, everyone’s experience is different and there are unhappy and happy people in every group and every society, but the way things are now in America is not OK, over the years way too many people will get hurt because traditional values are being thrown out.
*The idea of "modesty" is a complete joke. God created us to be fully naked with NO SHAME and it was only when we started playing our own game that we started viewing our bodies as disgraceful. 99% of clothing has nothing to do with trying to be provocative, it's just the person wearing what makes them comfortable. Clothing does not influence bad actions, bad character is what does.*
love and support. Esther.
@@starhunter9085
You're entitled to your opinion. But you have no right to impose it on others.
I loved this. This was very thought provoking. I love the way you explain things so well. I also love how you do not shame women who dress immodestly and you acknowledge that it is empowering for women to dress immodestly for many different reasons.
THANK YOU! I feel like it's rare to hear someone point out that viewing traditionally feminine roles as inferior is, in fact, founded in a low view of women. Grateful to hear someone say it so well! Great video!
Wow, you had me riveted. I'm not an Orthodox Jew myself, but I am very religiously observant and try to dress modestly and have run into strange conflicts where people assume me to be "trapped" or less of a feminist in one way or another. You make such fantastic insights into the whole religion-feminism-modesty complex and ugh... you just took so many words out of my mouth. Thanks for all your great content!
I'm so proud and happy that i see this video. I'm in a process of converting to Judaism, and im really grateful of this understanding and powerful message, all the best!
I will appreciate a little more of respect. First for the lady who is making the video, and next to me.
And I don't have time, for people like you. Next time you will say something about anything in your next encounter, whit ”liar" and ”fools" look yourself in the mirror and them answer.
@@thomasgonzalez9890 G-d bless you sir haha, it's okay, he can say whatever he wants, it only boosts my algorithm the more he comments haha. I'll thank him when I reach 100K subs
@@CynicalDuchess i don't understand where or how, someone put this kind of comments, when the information on the video is so clear. I have been on this journey of converting to Judaism, for years ( is a long story) and when someone came whit this, it cant be tolerated.
@@thomasgonzalez9890 I completely understad. I also have a friend thats been in the conversion process for 5 years. life happens sometimes. I'm rooting for you brother! and yes, these ppl are annoying but what can we do, they are bitter.
I highly appreciate you stepping up to remove misconcepts about your religion and choices and rights given. I am a Muslim ( although I dont cover my head ,b y choice, and highly educated) sometimes I feel like saying something to clear the misconcepts .
Anyways Bravo !!!
Yes, definitely. Us religious monitories have to stick together!!! we can be strong independent women no matter how we choose to live our lives! rock on girl
I loved this video too. As a Christian woman who also identifies as a Black woman in a very urban area of the San Francisco Bay Area. I am choosing to embrace modesty. I was blessed to be a stay at home mom which I also choose to do. I was not always understood but I was confident it was right thing for my family and I noticed moms in my sphere of influence choosing to do that too. My husband did not necessarily make a lot of money either. We lived very frugally. On a very tight budget but very happily and when I needed to feed my babies I could do it right then and when they wanted to be held I could hold them and not worry if they weren't getting held by the day care provider. Thanks again for lifting up these important ideas, facts, should be norms.
I randomly came across your videos and I am obsessed. I feel so seen and heard, and you say it all so eloquently. I love how you have an incredibly well-rounded perspective. You are making this world a much better, brighter place! What a legend!
Love ur channel! Your awesome! May I suggest that you do more videos describing what orthodox Judaism IS. I think it'll be really popular because there is so much misinformation out there. You are absolutely the best at explaining it in such a funny non apologetic way. Better than anyone I've seen in the media this far. Peter Santenello and Shloimy Zionce where great too but you give a lot of background that I think people will appreciate as well. We need people like you!
Omg yay you posted!! You had some really great points and I loved hearing more about your experiences as an Orthodox Jewish woman 💕
omg thank you so much Natasha!!! thank you so so much for watching
Thankyou so much for this video. It is beautiful ❤️. I have similar struggles with my own religion being attacked in similar ways. I feel like I really needed this message
So glad you made this video! My family is Orthodox (I still consider myself Orthodox but non-practicing 😄) but that reality show just infuriated me. I called up my sister 20 minutes into the first episode and said “There’s some formerly frum lady on Netflix saying bad things about you.” And she sighed and said “I know. We’re all mad about it.”
(Also- was completely charmed by how you gestured throughout the whole video with that teensy little hand)
i miss listening to you talk about things, just anything.
and you really stand out and represents the STRENGTH in woman - so close to 1K my gurl!! 🤩
thank you Meech!!!!! that is such a lovely thing to say!!! yes, women are strong and capable of everything regardless of how they look like or chose to dress!
Y'all I'm so sick of Netflix vilifying my beautiful culture.
that's an understatement.
Well said! When a Jewish mother is making Shabbes for twenty people on a weekly basis, I defy anyone to not be in awe. BTW bubbe check your smoke alarm. I think you need a new battery, love from a Jewish mum 😂😂
@@yvettemoore1228 oh I know, I'm at my mom's house for the summer hahahaha I've been asking her to change it, so annoying.
*The idea of "modesty" is a complete joke. God created us to be fully naked with NO SHAME and it was only when we started playing our own game that we started viewing our bodies as disgraceful. 99% of clothing has nothing to do with trying to be provocative, it's just the person wearing what makes them comfortable. Clothing does not influence bad actions, bad character is what does.*
Me too !
Dang you breathed fire in this video so inspired by this video wow I have to watched this several times again!!!!
As a 21-year-old Jew who did not grow observant but is in the process of becoming modern orthodox, thank you for showing the truth about life. Wish I grew up with the education, and community aspects of Orthodox Judaism that I am learning now. The unorthodox shows that the grass is not always greener. Her life seems like hell, and secularism is evil in my opinion.
VERY well said. You verbalize exactly what’s going on with the clash of societal values and cultural norms and expectations. Brava!
I just want to say I love this video. I’m a Traditional Catholic, I attend the Traditional Latin Mass. I wear veils to Mass and anytime I am in the presence of the host, as do my daughters. My husband and I do not use contraception and are always open to new life. I stay at home and take care of the house and our 6 children. My husband is the sole breadwinner.There are a few reasons that we women wear veils in the presence of the host. One reason is that we veil everything that is sacred. Women bear children and carry life within them, therefore women are sacred. The tabernacle is veiled because it holds the Eucharist which is the physical presence of God. Women are veiled because they carry life and are sacred. I think a lot of people see women covering their hair and automatically associate it with shame and hiding, or oppression, when it’s actually done because the woman is sacred and so important and beautiful. A lot of practices that some might think are oppressive, are actually in place to protect and honor the woman because she is important. When most people quote the Bible verse. “Woman obey your husbands as you obey the Lord” they don’t realize that right after that it says “husbands love your wives as I have loved the church.” Christ died for the church, so women are told to only to obey, while men are told to literally give their life for their wife.
I missed your mini hand haha!! B this was such an informative video. Prior to meeting you, I didn’t know a lot about Orthodox Jews. I love hearing and learning more about your culture. It was so helpful how you discussed Western Feminism vs Jewish Feminism, it really put things into perspective. This was also a reminder to look at things outside my own cultural lens to better understand other cultures. I could tell there was so much love and thought that went into this video! 🥰
Thank you so much for this lovely comment jasmine!! hahahaha the mini hand lolol yes!! I feel like with any culture its so important to go in trying to understand things from their perspective instead of looking at it from our view point.
@jasminerosecelle of course orothox jew will tell nothing but good things about his her culture stop being deceived its not as beautiful as she portrays it youtube is a nothing but lie
Thank you so much for this video.
I am an Orthodox, wife, mother, and businesswoman.
I don’t feel deprived at all.
I feel like my life is so fulfilled.
So much food for thought. I enjoyed every second of it. It's so refreshing and alive and the way you articulate and speak about it so beautifully. You truly inspire people. I am more than grateful💜
And I am so happy you are getting more and more people here😊
thank you so so much Maria!!!!
You are so eloquent. Thank you so much for making this video!! I loved every second.
thank you so so much!!
My problem with Hollywood and Netflix, is they take a broad spectrum as orthodox judaism, and put us all into one box.
Orthodox judaism is a large spectrum of types, like chasidic non chasidic.
And in the chasidic community you have so many variations, so much nuance.
But for Hollywood there is zero nuance, ans just put us all into the same category.
And it's just tiring
I grew up in a yeshivish community. It was very repressive, but also we lived in Brooklyn and there were many outlets. I still love a yeshivish shabbos, especially praying in a litfish shul. There's nostalgia there. Yes, I have trauma cuz I wasn't like the others and I would say they could be super mean to those who don't look like them. I was Sephardi and didn't speak Yiddish and my school was really repressive. However, when it came to education, I'd say I excelled in college BECAUSE of my dual education. Learning Torah in multiple translations with multiple explanations gave me the tools to think of every channel to every subject. I'm glad for my past and my education and I really wanted to see some light shed on the real problems in the community. The fact that some people think it's their duty to push their hashkafot on you, or to judge what you're wearing, or to visibly coax their kids inside when they see you coming. (All of which happened to me growing up.🤷♀️) But I wouldn't blame the kids. The parents were the biggest problem and they still are. Trauma begets trauma unless you look deeper and fix it. Instead of another slanderous story about another Jewish community. We have had enough of that already. Thank you for making this video! I thought I was the only one who was angered by my unorthodox life. Sad whatever happened recently but I think she very much deserved it.
OMG i was wondering what someone's views of My Unorthodox Life was. Ngl, I did really enjoy the show just because it was like any guilty pleasure type of reality tv show. I do wish that netflix told a spectrum of stories instead of the same story over again!!!
*Lust isn't about the physical aspect, it's about the psychological. Lust is a form of abuse and like all forms of abuse the psychological element is what drives the whole issue. As a survivor of childhood, domestic abuse, I know this almost better than anyone. The reason why people have this false sense of what lust is is because they don't understand that part, we see a mere fraction of what happened during these cases (the sexual assualt) and believe that's all there is to it. Because of this, we assume the victim was responsible for "enticing" the perpetrator, this is ignorance. What we don't see is the priming and grooming and intimidation and breaking down of the victim's psychology in order to make this happen. That part of it is more "fun" for the villain than the actual assualt and that's why all acts of lust (pedophilia, rape, incest, prostitution, porn, molestation, necrophilia, zoophilia, homosexuality) are deemed mental disorders. This is what I wish more people understood.*
oh definitely as a guilty pleasure watch its a lot of fun. I just couldn't get through it without cringing, as a lot of what Julia was spreading was completely false. she says she had no education but she worked as a teacher and her ex husband was an Ivy League graduate. she calls herself as coming from a fundamentalist culture (the same exact culture and community I come from) and yet her ex husband has a dog named Thor. you do not have a dog named Thor unless you watch marvel and you can't be cut off and fundamentalist while watching marvel at the same time. so many things didn't add up so as a whole, Orthodox Jews from her community consider this show basic slander. and Netflix complicit in that slander.
You are a woman of valor for this essay, truly. Well said!
YES!!!! A NEW VIDEO! Love love love this.
YES!!! Thank you for watching Claire
I was wait that someone should speak up for us.... wow very clearly brought out the message!!!!👌
thank you!!
I agree 💯!
I am converting to Orthodox Judaism and this video has really helped me. This topic is the last thing that I felt uncomfortable about as someone who has grown up in the UK and identifies as a feminist. Thankyou so much, I love your videos.
Just found your channel, I’m Catholic so I’ve tried to dress more modestly compared to most people and it’s been so empowering for me now as a married woman to not have to dress as modestly around my husband.
This is really great! I’m gonna show it to my nieces. You’re definitely a role model for young women!
thank you so so much!!
@@CynicalDuchess you’re very welcome!
I 100% agree. Growing up in a Chabad center (though I am not Orthodox myself.) I always saw their lifestyle as something they valued and something extremely special. Henceforth why I still go. The thing I hate that most of these companies do is make a series or show or movie like this and make a formula out of it. Then it becomes a pre-existing concept that they use to make extra profit off of. Which is why the only blockbusters we have now are Marvel and superhero movies which makes it harder for those with real talent and who have stories of those empowered and who appreciate their cultural background to get their stories told and show why they feel their culture, lifestyle, religion, etc is special to them. Which is why I am sick of the industry as you either have to have a pre-existing concept or conform to their standards to make a film. I hope someone will make an honorable film showing the empowering and beautiful side of Orthodox Judaism and fight for it like Francis Ford Coppola fought for The Godfather and not let the so called oppressed Jewish soul story become another formula. Great Vid btw, great to see someone speaking out about this and sharing that people do enjoy and find Orthodox Judaism to be beautiful.
I definitely agree with your formula theory. as someone who went through film school I definitely see patterns in what comes out on screens. its less about creativity and definitely about what sells. Crazy Rich Asians kicked off a slew of narratives about rich asian people that is threatening to turn into a stereotype. when Hollywood loses its ethics it becomes the utter harbinger of hate and cultural tropes.
Judaism is a mafia that needs another Coppola??? ok so that s me. I have written my stuff about our lives as Jews. I need to have my books and scripts translated into English. well said, thanks for inspiring me. hope my husband will agree with my way if spending money for book translation...(((
@@kfamily770 Okay first off this has nothing to do with the mafia. Second I only used the Coppola Godfather example as someone who is headstrong. I’ve seen many people try and tell accurate representations of Jewish people and always get shot down in favor of stories like Unorthodox and My Unorthodox Life which while valid also throw many Jews under the bus. I was just simply saying someone headstrong and willing to fight for a good vision needs to come along and make a good representation of Orthodox Jews. And Coppola is a prime example of just that for how hard he fought for The Godfather over the studio’s objections. That’s all.
the mini hand XDD but this was such an important video and you had really good points, well thought ideas and just the whole presentation, and your frustration is so touchable but loved how you still managed to make your point both entertaining, through humour but still bringing up an important issue!
you noticed the mini hand!!! hahahaha I was waiting for someone to say something lol. thank you so so much Jasu, this topic is definitely important to me, I just hesitated for so long making this video because I had to get so vulnerable, but I'm so happy people are responsive to what I had to say!!
Thank you I am finding ur videos very informative and actually it is opening my mind to the many different views on life and religious life. I'm a 40 yr old Irish woman who watched the Film on Netflix and felt a certain way about the movie and the Orthodox religion but after coming across ur channel and doing some research I think and feel differently and totally understand and see were u are coming from with Netflix and western society view on feminism and how it is bias. Thank you again 💓💖
I watched this video because I’m a non-Jewish person who is very interested in Julia Haart. I don’t usually watch reality TV, I know it is very fake. I’m just very interested in different perspectives. I suppose the thing that stuck out to me a lot from the video is how gendered everything is. There’s an assumption that biological sex means you should take on a certain gender role. What about women who don’t want kids and marriage? What do they do? What about lesbians? Is their love respected? I do meet a lot of Jewish people in support groups. So my window in to the community is very much in the context of people with mental health problems. There are a lot of Jewish women out there who are very much not okay and can’t talk about it with their loved ones. What about them? I just think there’s too much variation in humans minds to be able to ascribe roles on people based on biological sex. I hope none of my questioning isn’t offensive. I’m just trying to understand and get different perspectives.
Hi there, so yes! we are a gendered religion. we ain't PC, we aren't western, where things are skewing to be ungendered, and there is nothing wrong with that. it's just different from you. That being said, I don't think I ever said that your sex means that you HAVE to take on a certain role. My argument was that for those women who WANT a traditionally female role, should not have to be shamed for it by Julia, society, or anyone else. if you don't want to get married then don't. do you fam. Just like my example of Devorah who led the jews into battle as a general -- non binary gender roles exist within the context of judaism and there's nothing wrong with you if you don't want to be a mom. my argument was for those women who do-- should not have to feel like they are less than in society, just because they choose a traditional gender role.
as for your context of judaism coming from support groups.... I mean, I'm sure you're aware that perceiving a culture based off a small group of people with trauma can give you a skewed perception, so I'm glad you're breaking out of that and trying to find other perspectives, seriously kudos to you!! Because when you talk about "the community" you're talking about a group of people with too many varying customs, histories, outlooks, environments to be a monolith. what kind of people are in your support group? Ashkenaz jews? East coast? or are they from places like Texas / Indiana? Are they sephardi or north African jews? are they black jews? chabad? Chassidic? each individual has their own response to judaism based off of many life factors. you're never going to get one answer.
but if you're looking for for links to different kinds of jews and experiences, I can send you some here.
Yes yes yes you go girl!!!! I love everything about this! This needs to go viral. I hope @netflix sees this
Thank you Avishag!!! Man, I hope they do!!
So glad u did this, I really needed a different viewpoint.
absolutely, thank you for watching and weighing different perspectives!!
Thank you for sharing this! Young women need to hear that it’s ok to dedicate their life to their family. It is just as needed and valuable as any other job!!
I consider myself to be an intersectional feminist, and believe in treating everyone equally. If someone wants to work and not have children, then that’s fine. They want to have children and stay home and be a a homemaker then that’s also fine. If they want to show off their body then great. If they don’t, then that’s great too. No one should be forced to do or wear/ not wear anything that they don’t want. Feminism is about equality and choice. It’s the choice to be, do, and wear whatever makes you comfortable and happy.
You are an intelligent and articulate young lady, thank you for this very insightful video! I never can understand how Western society upholds and considers celebrities and rap stars that are former strippers as women we should admire, you are so right!
YES!!!!!!!!! I totally agree!!!!!! I hate the pressure we get to be ‘liberated’ when in actuality I just want to be like this and that’s ok
This is amazing!
Thank you for making this video.
You’re so respectful, well researched, and entertaining!! 💖
Netflix does to your culture what was already done to the, what you call it, "Western" culture. Which is a generalisation. Catholic mindset differs a lot from protestant mindset. Eg female position as a mother is highly venerated because of the cult of Mary, to give an example. In my country, Poland, women were able to inherit and in many cases they were very wealthy and powerful. We, as the first country in Europe had a female King, not a queen, a King. King Jadwiga ruled about 150 years before Queen Elizabeth I did. Back to the main topic- Netflix used to ridicule Christianity, Christian traditions and Christians long before unorthodox show. It has nothing to do with white whatever, and everything to do with neomarxism. It's just your turn now.
Please don't make sweeping assumptions about Western women. The West is unique in that it was built on Christianity and Christian values. Serious Christians like me who still take the Bible seriously have similar to values to you guys (modest clothes, being a mother over having a career, submitting to the husband, etc.). That being said, I am understanding and compassionate toward the lady from My Unorthodox Life and people who have been thru any religions that are strict, extreme or controlling (I believe we should do what is right out of love for and genuine desire to obey God, not due to external social control/harsh condemnation from a community) . I'm genuinely confused, I thought the woman from the show grew up *ultra* Orthodox, similar to Hassidic..She was in an arranged marriage she didn't want to be in. Her daughter was saying to their still Jewish father women couldn't even sing in front of men. She said was not against religion. The show was reverent toward her sons who still kept some Jewish beliefs and practices, esp the older son, there was one scene where he was reading sacred text and praying. She did not really ridicule Judaism, she criticized it but. I just think that she's telling her own story/views. God gave us free will and people can do that. Maybe one day she will recover from her extreme experiences and find faith in God again that is healthier.
WOW you're so strong with your Yiddishkeit!
you talk better than most Jewish speakers.
WOW! I feel like I'm seeing the world with new eyes, thank you!
Incidentally Eshet Chayil talks less about baking and cooking and more about empowerment and women in business
“She brings goods in sailing ships from afar.. and strengthens her arms”
It also mentions that she weaves her husband's clothes, so there's that.
and what I see from both of these examples is that women in Torah can excel in whatever they want, both as a wife and business person :)
Exactly my point!
@@PrincessSixThirteen it does? Which verse is that?
Edifying and so well said. Hats off to you 💕🎩
"I'm trying to figure out how she had no education...when her husband is an ivy league graduate" ...because she isn't...that statement makes 0 sense
It makes perfect sense. If she and her husband both come from the same religious background, and he was able to go to UPenn just fine, then nothing was stopping her from going to college. If she doesn’t have a degree, that’s her choice. But her husband’s college degree is proof that Orthodox Jews of her and my background obviously value education.
@@CynicalDuchess well I think the whole point was that she felt there were different expectations/opportunities for men and for women...so while her husband had an ivy league education, she did not. If her sisters had an ivy league education, I would see this as a legitimate argument (maybe they did?). I'm just saying that the fact that her husband had a good education, is not an argument that she had access to one
@@ettyr7620 she *says* there were different expectations for men and women... doesn't make it true. She also said women couldn't play sports when her daughter Miriam was a sports star in her orthodox school. Gosh, my high school took us biking and boating every year as an annual trip. Like I said in my video, I get it that Americans are scarred by the double standards and inequality they faced... but don't use that perception on my culture, we never faced that. if you know any thing about Jewish History, you'll know that it was actually the women that would go to public school more often than not than the men, who usually went to yeshiva and studied the torah. Thats why the Bais Yaakov movement was founded in the 1920's, so that women could get both a secular and jewish education so that they wouldn't lose their roots. Listen friend, I went to bu, my friends went to MIT, UCLA, USC, NYU, CSUN, etc. Believe what you want to believe. if you're so set on thinking that there are these weird gender roles in my and Julia's former community, go ahead. your perception does not affect my standing in my society. if Julia didn't go to college-- that's COMPLETELY on her. no one is stopping her.
I grew up in the yeshivish Orthodox Jewish community in NY (very similar community compared to haart), and I don't know of ANY women who were not encouraged to go to college. In fact, generally the more religious the family, the more the woman was pressured to pursue higher education (so if she chooses to, she could support her husband if he chooses to spend a year or a lifetime studying Torah in a religious seminary).
@@ettyr7620 it was her decision not to be educated and then she regretted it.....SO many orthodox women i know are Ivy league or top college grads........most women I know are professionals and funny thing is most orthodox women accomplish much more than secular women.....like every other orthodox woman is an SLP with a home to build and children to raise where other women think ooohhhhh SLP (for ex). I have a dozen friends who are either doctors or PAs and another dozen that are the compilation of CPAs, actuaries and lawyers .......basically I don't respect her right to tell her story Bec her story is made up of lies. It is not HER story it is fiction.
I repeat: women should wear what they want wherever and whenever. Please do not equate modesty with dignity and decency. That is so ignorant. I fully respect your right and desire to dress tzinius as I do my friends who wear a hijab.
I must say, I watched the show but it was more for entertainment not taken too seriously.
I was born and raised in United Pentecostal upbringing where we dress modestly as it is heavily practiced to always wear sleeves (short sleeves are fine and skirts/dresses that are knee length). I think it’s easy to dress modestly but sometimes it does make you stand out as it’s not “common“. I continue to dress modestly today, not for my religion but for myself! I’m not as stringent with the set rules (ie at the gym I wear leggings not a snoga) overall I enjoy it! I think that’s the beauty of modesty, everyone interprets it as they choose and it’s a deeply personal choice!
This was very thought provoking. I wish I could sit and have coffee with you.
This is not at all the same thing but this reminds me of a time when my white American friend and I were traveling through Dubai and in the airport there are western toilets and traditional toilets. She couldn’t understand why anyone would still use traditional toilets when there’s a “better” option. And that is very obviously a perspective made from the viewpoint of “the western world is superior” to “foreign cultures and customs”. I myself am American born but raised within a traditional Chinese household. It’s hard to explain to anyone who didn’t grow up with different cultures that there’s more than one way to live. No right or wrong. So long as people have a choice, I don’t care how you live your life. I only care when you don’t have a choice. I’m not religious but I have friends who are and I don’t bat an eye if my Muslim friend wears a headscarf. It’s her choice. Someday when I have children, they will have a choice to participate in religion or not. Of course, every culture has extremists who do restrict what someone can and cannot do. But those extremists do not represent the general public, the community-at-large.
I did watch this Netflix reality show but I didn’t take it too seriously. Not the messaging anyway. Just treated it as escapist reality tv.
Thank you for reminding us that the western worldview isn’t always accurate. In fact, it seldom is. And despite being a nonwhite American, sometimes I fall prey to this western viewpoint.
PS. I was raised to dress modestly not out of religious edict but culturally it’s what “good Chinese girls” do. I rebelled against my mother as a teenager over this. But as an adult, I prefer to dress modestly. Except in the NY summers. Sorry, it’s too hot to cover up on those months.
I do have a counter argument re: men not dominating traditional female roles. Fathers are praised so easily and so readily for doing the most basic childcare duties. It sickens me. They need to do more of the domestic duties that many working moms still undertake. Yet they receive so much praise for doing so little of it.
And, I’m not sure how this relates to the topic at hand, but what do we make of the fact that most celebrated chefs are male in the professional sphere but in the domestic sphere women are supposed to be the home cooks?
Great video! Really engaging topics. I tend to be on the super liberal side of things and it’s nice to hear other viewpoints. This is why we must continue to have open dialogue from people with different perspectives. So easy to get trapped in an echo chamber. I have a conservative Irish Catholic friend who I just love talking to. She keeps me in check. She represents the conservative and religious viewpoints and I represent the agnostic and liberal viewpoints. We usually agree to disagree but sometimes we can find a middle ground. Either way, she’s someone I feel very comfortable being my true self with and that’s hard to find.
loved both of your replies so so much!! Honestly, most of my friends in college were international Chinese because of the similarities in our cultures. no path is right or wrong, just different
What an intelligent video! I have just discovered your channel as a progressive Jew and it's fascinating!
A woman’s place is anywhere she wants to be. If you want it go get it and do it and be it no one stops you but yourself.
Great video, stellar arguments for non-judgmental diversity of thought. Found your channel through my sister (ELC from BYLA).
I am so glad you made this video I was genuinely wondering too coz I've seen my unorthodox life. For a while I believed u guys were oppressed coz Netflix said so - how stupid? But then I remembered how they portrayed my religion and had suspicions.
Finally there is a yt "Jewishy" channel I can relate to and actually enjoy watching
I totally agree! I was sure it was going to be like all the other videos on YT with ex charedim bashing orthodoxy: so I was really pleasantly surprised by her video!
As a ultra orthodox/ Yeshivish mom. Wife and MD I am , like you super happy to find a fellow Orthodox Jew which I can watch her content without rolling my eyes 👀!
Stay safe and blessed!
Sara Malka
yah lol not much on here, and I almost didn't start because I thought it would affect my shidduchim. then I decided those weren't the guys I wanted to marry any way. so here we are lol
I know what you mean and I roll my eyes too.
@@CynicalDuchess LOL!! we are rolling eyes sisters ;)
@@CynicalDuchess I am from a very very traditional home and work environment at home and work so I do not show my face on camera. It makes it harder to connect with my viewers. I which is frustrating in a way at the same time, it is better for me:) I am delighted to have found you:) stay safe and blessed!
Amazing. Thanks for the video. Very true and very educational for the reality of orthodoxy
thank you Avishai!! didn't we just meet like 2 weeks ago? lol
Hi Batsheva! Thank you for making this video from a (in my perspective) feminist way, uplifting the validity of Julia’s journey and Western oppression of womxn and describing your perspective on Netflix portraying your culture.
Obviously the mainstream perspectives in American society are white cishet male Christian-centric, which oppresses and drowns out the majority of voices and experiences. But as a white, American, progressive Christian who presents as female, it’s just common sense-how can I make a judgement on a way of life with thousands and thousands of years of history and traditions and nuances?
People who do so make me sad, of course for the people they oppress in the process, but also by how much of *life* they are missing out on by existing solely within their homogenous, unchallenged bubble.
Having dialogues like what your video described is something that warmed my feminist heart so much, and just in general, too.
Listening genuinely to others’ experiences doesn’t need to be a threat to our own; it’s not a pie! The repetitive that it is only breeds and perpetuates intolerance.
I hope that we can continue making space for viewpoints that counter the mainstream “American” (huge air quotes here, how I described it as above) lens, creating the exposure to spark dialogues of cultural exchange. That, to me, is one of the greatest joys of life.
(And obviously it challenges dangerous stereotypes and prejudices!)
Anyway, best of luck & thanks for the video!
P.S. I think post-Enlightenment, modern (white) Western feminism may have begun earlier than you mentioned, with 1792’s “A Vindication of the Rights of Woman” by Mary Wollstonecraft 🙃 And I think you’d probably vibe with this fashion history video by Abby Cox ua-cam.com/video/cbflNWDWJF0/v-deo.html
omg this comment warmed my heart!!!!! You my friend, are so so open minded, the world needs more people like you. and you're right!! It did start with Mary Wollstonecraft, silly me! Although to give me a bit of credence I would say that the Seneca falls convention could be described as the feminist shot heard round the world hehe. And I always love fashion history, so thank you for sending Abby Cox along!
Loved your video! Actually I recently read the translation of aishes chayil and actually it speaks a ton about the woman’s success in business and entrepreneurship too! Seriously! Really cool
And keep doing what ur doing plz! Ur a wonderful influence for our young girls
bh thats good to know! I should read the translation
thank you!!!
After reading the book brazen from Julia she states that it’s not about being Jewish it’s about being from a small group in New York. At the start of the book she talks about how beautiful Jewish life is but that she was in an extreme community. I think the show is made in such a way that doesn’t do the story justice at all.
Yah… but the group she came from is my group. And it’s not small, it’s monsey, which is one of the biggest Jewish communities. I just spent Shabbat there last week. It was beautiful.
Because of your previous video about that movie on Netflix, I watched unorthodox today, so I’m not Jewish I’m Russian but living in another country, so I watched and it was clear that the movie describes only one life of particular person, not more not less, and as we all know, point of view depends on our expectations and our thoughts.. so, she had a pattern of being ignored, humiliated and she preferred to escape rather than looking for harmony inside or speaking to her husband and trying improve her attitude too.. Still I like and interested in Jewish culture and love all orthodox people as well! In addition, the most touching moment of the movie that she realized she not skilled enough to be a pianist.. it’s universal feeling when you escape your illusions and begin to live real life, when you grow up and do not just dream, so the movie is great and not so offensive if people are familiar with real Jewish culture and religion.
Very good video. I agree that the western society is projecting. Jewish women have traditionally been somewhat less oppressed than the general population. (I’m afraid to be overstating this, that’s why I’m saying “somewhat”, the way I perceive it is that, actually, they were a lot less oppressed in their homes and communities than the general population, but maybe it depends on the population in question). One thing, though, that thing about “we are respecting you, so please respect us” will not work. “They”, the ones who don’t respect us, will lose their identity, if they start respecting us. The moment “they” start respecting us, “they” will automatically betray their religion of progressivism. I’m not saying “they” cannot change religion, but it doesn’t happen easily.
Thank you for this thought provoking comment Hanna! I think respect shouldn't come at the expense of your beliefs though. I can understand and respect other cultures while not necessarily believing in them. asking Netflix to represent us fairly doest mean we want them to start being modest etc, just telling our stories with a more objective POV
@@CynicalDuchess I understood what you meant. I’m not talking about respect between traditional cultures, or even not so traditional. I’m saying that it is impossible for an American progressive to respect orthodoxy, by definition.
got u
I'm from a traditional British Jewish family. I love your attitude about Tzniut, I totally agree that we are liberated from the sexualized gaze. You're brilliant!
Thank you. I fear the “Unorthodox “ series if promoting antisemitism as many viewers will not be able to differentiate between her experience and those of others.
You are on point
And super adorable 😊
Preach sister you are the voice of our people and the future!be strong Kol ha kavod to you
omg thank you!!!
LOVE THIS!!! (And more videos about this would be awesome too!)
Hi Batsheva,
My name is sarah Batyah. I converted to Judaism. I would like to know if there someone that can help us make a video for converting to Judaism ✡️
I am sooooo hapoy that there are beautiful people like you that shows the world how beautiful jewdaism is! Pleaseeee continue to share your love, light and happiness of being and love being an ortodox jew!
I have been working on converting to Judiasm. I love your enthusiasm and pride❤️. Would you be willing to keep sharing and teaching us about Orthodox Judiasm?🙏as in Namaste, and🕊️✡️🕎Baruch HaShem.
You're a light💙
Thank you for this comment
@@CynicalDuchess my best to you!🕎 Shanah Tovah❤️
I love this, especially about modesty. I am Pagan and pagans are seen as wild, dancing naked under the moon, hippies, etc, but most of us are just like everyone else and you wouldn't recognize one on the street. I prefer modesty because my body is my temple and I get to choose who sees it, and while I'm a widow now, at 37, the next person who sees my whole body will be my spouse. I feel empowered to be able to make that choice. Thank you for your great videos ❤️
Watched your other video about your thoughts on unorthodox and really liked it. I’m not Jewish and only know what I see on tv. So your perspective about your religion is eye opening. Also love your thoughts on modesty, though I’m not as modest as you, I’m aware now that I’m older that yea I wanna cover up more. Feel more comfortable that way.
Thank you Nina!!! Yah, I think thats ultimately my biggest point. people argue that this is just 'one woman's story' so why am I harping so much? because people literally know nothing about Orthodox Jewish culture except usually what they see on TV, which is often sensationalized. So if its filmed with a negative or exploitative bias, it turns into horrible representation for Orthodox Jews. Thank you for watching
Omg this was so fun girl ahhh🤍🤍
thank you!
Excellent. Very well executed! Impressive
Why are you holding a yad??? I can't even!😂😂😂
HAHAHAHA because I can XD
Secular Jewish women were front and centre of the modern western feminist movement - Friedan, Abzug etc etc
So interesting. I'm not Jew but I totally agree with everything!
Gentiles are obligated to keep the 7 Noahide commandments. Good luck.
as a person that tries to follow torah and understand it more - i just love how naturally you contrasted and easily recognized the freedom (women have) in following the law of Yah where as people in western Christian nations that claim to follow the same God view the law as a burden and no longer applicable today.
I know a couple of people that have come out of the church and now study torah that have this perspective but i just seems so different hearing it from you for some reason.
And its honestly distressing that nothing is untouched by this wokeism but Im so glad i found your channel. It feels safe here. 🙂💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘
I'm also orthodox jew and I relate to you