How to Stop Interrupting Your S.O. (and why we do it)
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- Опубліковано 30 вер 2024
- Do you struggle with interrupting your significant other? If so, you're not alone. In this video, I'll dive into why people with a history of trauma may interrupt, including feeling "mansplained," assuming we know what the other person will say, and being afraid that our voice won't be heard. But don't worry, we'll also talk about letting go of shame around this, stepping into awareness and using DBT skills to help overcome the issue. So if you're ready to learn how to stop interrupting your S.O., keep watching!
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#DBT #traumarecovery #CommunicationSkills #interrupting #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #traumaresponse
I definitely do this for the first reason you mention; fear of never getting to voice my opinion because I was never heard in childhood. My partner has mentioned it to me several times and I am working on it, it's really hard for them because they're the youngest of quite a big family and their siblings are very vocal so they have their own stuff around having been interrupted all the time in their family. It's so tough to work through.
Thank you so much for sharing. Yes, it can be so complex! People ordinarily feel annoyed or upset on some level when interrupted, but then if they have trauma related to it (invalidation, etc.), it adds another layer. Well done acknowledging your partner's issue around this as well as your own and for choosing to work on it! 💞
I always interrupt and anticipate, I thought it was related to some strong obsessive traits of my personality, never thought it could be related to bpd too. In my case I don't have memories of any traumas or really bad events in my childhood.. my parents were loving and caring so my bpd (very strong and resistant despite years of therapies) is a real mystery... I don't know any other borderline with my "perfect" familiar situation and sometimes not having a cause to all this suffering is really frustrating for me... it's difficult to accept. I really thank you for all this useful videos, just seeing you makes me feel better.
Hey there! Thank you for sharing some of your story with me. It is true that not all people who develop BPD do so as a result of an unhealthy, i.e. abusive or neglectful home environment. I'm so glad to hear that you didn't suffer in that way.
As someone who has very clear examples of what probably led to my diagnosis, I can only imagine how frustrating it would be to not have an inkling.
If you feel comfortable sharing, did you possibly experience bullying in school? More is coming out on a connection there as well.
I'm so glad my videos help you -- thank you for letting me know that!! 🌞
@@HealingFromBPD yes there was a little form of bullying from my friends at the primary school, but nothing too much serious... could it be only that? It's frustrating in the sense that I cannot come close to anyone without experiencing a sense of "alarm", also my family, so I have a wonderful family and I should just be grateful, but practically I can't stay with them, I have to stay alone. I act as someone who has experienced abandonment trauma but I cannot remember anything like that. Thanks for your kind reply.
@@Anonymous-90 You are most welcome! I don't think it could hurt to explore this with a therapist. What may seem like not a big deal to you now could have been more impactful at the age you experienced it. I think it's worth a discussion in the least. I hope you gain peace about this, whether you find that the answer lies in the bullying or something else. There is also the possibility of ancestral trauma in which we inherit some of the fears of our ancestors. That may be worth exploring as well.
Thanks for always making me feel that i'm not alone and that i can recover too. i don't interrupt often because i'm used to being cut off or not being heard so i just don't say much. When i do speak, i try to speak a lot! :D
Thank you so much for sharing! Yes, this is another possible reaction we may have. I'm so glad that, even though your response is different, you are able to take something from this video that helps you feel validated! 💓 You are not alone and can recover, too!
@@HealingFromBPD Thank you! Thank you so much! Lots of love to you~~
@@nefwaenre You are soooo welcome!! 💕💕
My boyfriend says I do this all the time, jumping on the defence. Like you say, it always seems to come out with partners not others.
Thank you for sharing, Georgia. I hope some of the tips I provided will be helpful to you. 💞
Thank you for everything you do. There's something so incredibly comforting & empowering in hearing someone say, Hey, others do this too & you can do something about it!
Thank you so much for watching and for yoru kind feedback. I'm *so glad* this was helpful!
Thank U ❤️This helped me a lot ive felt alone with this😭💞💞
It's a defensive reaction for me, when someones explaining something to me. I start to feel inadequate, useless and need to prove that I do know blah, blah, blah! I suppose as a child there were lots of expectations on me and simply, not knowing something wasn't ok.
Thank you for creating and sharing!
😂get to the point.
Thank you for being brave enough to share, I do this ALL the time and always wondered why!
Awwww! Thank you so much! Knowing it helped you (and others who are commenting and liking) makes it *totally* worth it. Wishing you success as you work on this! 💞
This is definitely something I've been needing to be aware of in myself. Thank you Debbie.♥
Yep, we're not alone! We can do this, Candy! 🌟💓 Thank you for commenting!
Thanks
I didn't even realise this was an actual thing until recently and it something that I have struggled with for years. Thank you so much for sharing this!
Glad I could help!
your eyes and glass look so trippy
🤣 I noticed that as well! Hope you still got some value out of the content. :)