You can RECOVER from Borderline Personality Disorder?!
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- Опубліковано 24 січ 2021
- Hello, everyone! Here's the 1st edition of answering your questions on my recovery from BPD & DBT skills in this Facebook Group (which you can join here: / healingfrombpd) !
You can sign up for the online DBT skills classes I mention at: www.emotionallysensitive.com/...
Hope you enjoy, and looking forward to connecting with you in the comments, below!
BPD is a pattern of behaviors the brain frequently uses when under immense actual or perceived stress. These patterns are either learned in childhood, or develop as a result of overwhelmingly stressful situations in childhood. The problem occurs when these patterns get stuck during adulthood. So, the challenge is for the adult to learn a whole new set of behaviors, understand why they’re the correct behaviors, practice them in their day to day relationships, and also learn identify potentially toxic relationships and situations and how to handle them appropriately so as to prevent a recurrence of BPD behaviors. It’s learning a whole new set of habits, which can be difficult in adulthood. However, difficult does not mean impossible. It means you have to stick to it until you learn it well.
Lots of truth here! 💞🙌🏼💞
Ive been using DBT skills for 13 years. I learned them in a clinical research study at the UW under Marsha Linehan. I am a different person than 13 years ago. I know its because I live skillfully. I cannot praise them enough. :)
Amazing! I love this, Randi!
I’m at the bottom of this ladder. If you see my comment, please pray for me
I am recently diagnosed with bpd at age 28 and have a hard time managing my life. I have gone no contact with my parents and it brakes my heart. But I feel it is important for me in order for me to heal. I also am not working currently because I feel like have the responsibility to work on myself also as to have another career in my future (I am a child caretaker at kindergarten). Fortunately my coworkers, chef, partner and friends are very supportive of me. But I am afraid of the future. Luckily I came across your wonderful channel and WOW it gives me so much hope! Thank you for your work you sure are helping a lot of us and people who are living with us. With kind regards from germany!
How are you doing today ?
Thank you so much for your kind words and share. How are you doing these days?
So many similarities to my situation. I had to distance myself from my parents as well and it’s hard to deal with. I can’t work and I’m disabled. Nice to know others are in similar situations, I don’t feel as alone.
Just discovered your channel. I am about to attent therapy in a week for the first time in years, and I am all but certain (not self diagnosing) that I am heavily on the BPD spectrum. My impulsive, self destructive behaviors have truly handicapped my entire existence and the farther down the rabbit hole I go into DBT research, the more HOPEFUL I become. Just a little while ago I was honestly visualizing what life would look like without me messing it up. Now I feel like I have a fighting chance. Love your story and this video!
This makes me SO HAPPY! How have things been, Chris?
Become the observer of the thoughts and affects, and you will be liberated.
48yo male w/bpd/oc/situational depression, been doing DBT since my attempt last year, recently discovered and started IFS (internal family systems) Highly Recommend, it goes into your core childhood exiles and protectors to literally heal and re-role/re-program yourself with more healthy responses and reactivity
Im a male with Bpd, 43 years old, i did DBT a year ago but didn't follow thru with it outside of the lessons but am now going over it myself at home writing notes, revising and making the effort, my life has been absolute chaos everything you said and more, with 3 decades of drug and alcohol addiction on top (which i've now got a grip on)...I find myself alone with so much destruction behind me, but i've made a choice and I'm sticking to it to do something about it... i was thinking today that as with many BPD people we have such good "in built" traits such as loyalty, honestly, compassion, empathy, courage etc etc that in a way of all the mental health disorders even tho they say BPD is the hardest to treat it seems that is very manageable with effort and I'm finding that... so to put the DBT skills on top of the in built stuff i know for myself i can have an amazing life just wish i had started a few decades ago!! it is what it is, i enjoy seems recovery videos, just confirms what i wrote above. thanks
45 and just connected all the dots with BPD, cPTSD and being an INFJ. Similar story, onwards to healing!
I am so glad to see that someone like you can find peace in its heart and create a functional life full of meaning despite the storm you lived and the burden you carried.👏🏻 🌈💛
I share this comment because I myself believe that recovery is possible.
As much as we dig into our past with responsibility and assess our dysregulations we might become stable, functional and yes even more healthy.
I’ve got 5 questions:
1 what did help you to maintain your sense of self?
(I’ve been looking for this answer (again) just yesterday)
If the answer is self esteem, self image and ideal self and so..positive thoughts,accomplishing tasks positive feedbacks,appearance and style etc..then I would ask you how you can avoid to make it collapse when your own personal behavior don’t match with different people and you feel numb asking yourself who am I
2 do you suggest any self help book?
(I already got DBT workbook,inner bonding and HSP)
3 How can you choose a good psy and how can you know if he is just right for you.
Since you said you went to therapy but it didn’t help at first I wonder what made you continue...
4 Are you familiar in ways to reduce sensitivity, meaning that there definitely are environments in which we can stay calm and at ease but when we are not what should I/we do?
I wonder if there’s such a way to just separate ourselves from stuff that may hurts,especially things we never get in touch with or couldn’t prevent like feelings, a sound or the presence of a person if. It it’s words.(I’m sure you kind of understood) Judith Orloff talked about an invisible sphere that separates you from the rest but it’s not really helpful...
5 what do you think of MBT, mentalization based therapy’s? And emotional literacy📘?
Alright, I rarely comment on the internet especially for such an important and delicate topic but as I saw you Debbie, you made me even more inspired than I already am to bring change in my life and for others.
If you made it till here I want to encourage people saying that recovery is possible,that there’s hope and finally I want to send you a big digital hug and say Thanks for being there🙋🏼♂️.
This is the best testimony video I’ve ever come across, and the most hopeful and resonate. Thank you so much. I’ve had my DBT workbook on my book self for over a year now, feeling called to finally explore.
Wow, thank you! I hope you're doing well!
I am so relieved to havee found your videos!..i have bpd and bipolar..i was doing ok for the past 5 or 6 yrs..well i have fibromyalgia and ddd and the pain has gotten to me so much amd not being able to work now has just exploded my mental health..and i cant get into to see psych dr or therapist till mid March so i have been watching your videos which helps..thank you so much!
You are doing a great job !! You give people with impulse control, etc. hope !! Thank you ..keep going !!
You are so kind! Thanks so much!
Very informative! I have BPD.. was officially diagnosed in 2014. Im a writer so I use the emotions from BPD .. and implement that power into my writing. So.. in a way I see it as a gift sometimes. Kinda like a double edge sword. Anysays, great video!! 😁😁😁
I just found you, and I applaud you for your hard work! Just this video breathes hope and healing into probably one of the hardest DSM diagnoses?? Would you agree with that? I LOVE how you said TRAITS instead of needing to claim the title, ya know? Which has positive and negative attachments, I believe. Way to go, girl.
Thanks so much!!
I’m so happy for you! 🎉🎉🎉
Dear friend
You have spoken my life and l am 62. Sending healing and love from me to you. 💚💚
This was really helpful for me. Please do more. I would love to do your online course.
❤ from Australia 2023
My wife has BPD and we are going through counseling now because of some extreme episodes. This video is extremely encouraging thank you so much
I dated someone with BPD and npd. I hope that more people decide to seek treatment and heal. I’m secretly in a corner rooting for you all. There are people out there who do love you and truly want what’s best for you.
I am at my rock bottom and at a point where I need to seek professional help..I dont want to live like this anymore..
Listening to positive affirmations help reprogram our subconscious.
I'm so glad you find that helpful, EJ!
Peace is all I need. I can manage everything when I have peace.
Yesssssssssss! How do you personally tap into peace?
Thank you for sharing i just found out i have it . I really relate to it
Thanks for your help.
you gave me hope
I love knowing that! Thank you for telling me!
Hey! I was waiting for your video. Nice. That identity disturbance is literally same for me.
Thank you! Yes, you are not alone in this. You *can* get to know yourself and have a strong sense of identity. Keep the hope!
This was so helpful!
I'm so glad!
Yes, your videos are really useful.
Glad to hear that! Thanks!
@@HealingFromBPD Your work is so precious, here in Italy, where I live, lots of psychiatrists don't even know of the existence of DBT, and there are really few places in which you can find DBT therapy... I admire you and I'd like to be like you one day
Hello
Great to hear from you
It has been about 7 years since I was active on any bpd groups
Yesterday scrolling through the UA-cam channels, I wondered what you were up to
Then a notification appears 😀
It is so long since I worked on my dbt skills and it really is a self sabotage behaviour not doing them
On my old iPad I had the dbt diary app
Does that still exist?
Oh my goodness, Julia! Isn't that funny? It's good to hear from you. Thank you for watching and reaching out to say hello! I don't think that app exists anymore, but I'm not totally sure. 🤔💖
Just discovered channel! ❤ I am also recovering from BPD 🎉
Im learning to trust and am beginning to allow people in. It is challenging and extremely hard work.
One area im working on is around certain people i detach or disassociate
...i become an empty shell. If i know someone doesn't like me i lose who i am 😢 My boss really doesnt like me for reasons that arent true...i become and can feel like what she thinks i am! Then i feel like a fraud when im actually being me and loving my job and myself. Its stopping me moving forward in my career. 😢 im a half trained therapist. Mental health issues stopped me continuing my journey. This is the last part of recovery i feel but dont know how to get passed it. Sorry for long message ❤
It's okay! Welcome to the channel, and I hope i felt good to share a bit here. Have you started DBT?!
Great job
Awww, thank you!
this video make me cry
Honey I'm male borderline I diagnosed 2 years ago and I'm recovering it's hard you have to find a good psychotherapist first take your meds and cry a lot with the battles with that monster have in mind there is a last battle and a last cry and then you win it it's the only battle the looser win in the end but you have to leave this canser to punish on you and make you cry this is the solution but with the rules of a good psychotherapist take care 🧡
Thanks, painful affirming. My only reservation is that I am resistant to getting caught in the pathology of recovery. Though I do need this.
After being with my partner with BPD for 5 years I told her today that I am moving out. Which is ending our engagement.
We have been stuck in a conflict cycle that’s gotten progressively worse as the years have gone on. The cycle consists of things going good, a conflict involving a significant emotional shift on her end typically over something very trivial or me setting up a minor boundary, no mutual emotional resolution, me typically apologizing to make it stop, me walking on eggshells, things starting to go good, followed by another seemingly unavoidable conflict…
There’s more but that cycle was our primary issue.. I thought for years if I just changed xyz about myself I could meet her needs. Recently realized that is not true.. This realization also included me for the first time thinking clearly about this conflict cycle we had been in. Also included me having about a 30 min emotional meltdown in an individual therapy session since my emotions have been neglected for a few years now - in an attempt to meet my partners emotional needs.
I’m moving out but doesn’t mean we can never get back together later on - but I feel like this is the only way to actually break the all consuming conflict cycle. She has apologized to me and also said she is now seeking therapy to get better. This video makes me hopeful she can actually be happy one day - either with me or without. She had done therapy in the past and had been officially diagnosed - but she told me she didn’t realize until I broke up with her and extensively told her why - that BPD is still very much impacting her.
😑
Hi. Same situation. Decided to break up after 2.5 years of fights, conflicts, screaming, drama, child behavior and a few breaks. She always begged saying that she’d change, and now it would be different. And I forgave and we continued… But now I think is the end. She is once again saying that now she will be different, bla, bla, bla. I know she struggles a lot with that. I know that it is not easy for her. But, to be honest, I think I’m done. I’m so tired of being disrespected all the time as if I was a monster. I’m tired of stepping in eggshell in many situation to avoid she loses her mind. I love her, but it is very difficult to me. I’m said, but I think I’m done. Tell me, did you move on or went back with her?
Thanks for this video 🙏 what was the format of your DBT training and how did you practice DBT skills in order to get so comfortable with them? From another person recently diagnosed BPD struggling to keep up with DBT
Hi Anna! When I was in a DBT skills group as a participant, we met weekly for 90 minutes with two class facilitators. We went through the skills created by Dr. Marsha Linehan. I attended religiously, practiced outside of class, turned in the homework for feedback, and continued with individual therapy alongside the DBT skills classes. At EmotionallySensitive.com, we teach the DBT skills and offer a holistic approach. I hope you'll consider joining us. We'd love to have you! ♥
This is the most hopeful video I have ever had!! Thank you 🙏🤍 I have been working really hard at not living my life with the diagnosis. Sometimes the media content is grim 😳 I was diagnosed at 40, and I have done two rounds of “Steps” and individual counselling . I’m still working super hard .. it’s so nice to know that this is attainable!!
Thank you 🫶
That makes me so happy! Proud of you, Julie. Keep going and stay strong. 💪🏼
Because of your inspiring story, I enrolled in another round of steps ☺️ and continuing individual therapy. I am committed to fully living a great life. Thank you again for giving us all the hope and knowledge, that we can and do heal🤍 Daily affirmations and meditations are also very helpful ☺️
Hey! I also have Bpd even I don't do physical self harm, but I do emotionally destructive things like crying, feeling guilty about myself, self sabotage, blaming my genes & fate. I sometimes feel I have inherited this disorder from my father as he also has such behaviour. I fear from things like using knife & do some destructive imagination.
Please can you talk more about the steps you've taken to find recovery from BPD
Can I just ask how long does it take to fully recover from BPD or get to the point where he/she can manage their emotion most of the time?
Im barely starting to think that i might have this and idk what to think
hi can you point me to resources how to use DBT specifically for a chronic illness? i have vestibular migraine and suffer everyday from chronic dizziness
I wish I had just one person to support me so I could focus on recovering. I feel like I make super tiny baby steps alone at home. But I could be making bigger steps with help. Any body have advice for those of who don’t have support systems?
I HAVE COME TO LEARN, BC OF THE. CURRENT FRAMENTED STATE OF MY PERSONALITY, I WILL NEED A BLEND OF DIFFERENT TREATMENT APPROACHES.
if your loved one has BPD, how should we, as a caregiver to handle their anger and blaming.
So it’s literally just our perception and reaction to reality creating BPD diagnosis ??????????
From the just recently diagnosed perspective just talking doesn’t seem like it would fix all my internal stuff 😳😳😳😳
I know
2.5 mg Olanzapine helps me with BPD verry well
Im talking to someone who claims to have this. The relationship didnt work out....
I’ve heard that bpd are only in remission when they don’t have an FP - is that true?
We could still be idealizing and devaluing in recovery, as it's possible (likely), we'll still have some BPD traits. I haven't heard a lot about this specifically, but it would take an evaluation with a therapist or psychiatrist to ultimately make the determination. Thanks for your question!
Frankie is so cute.
I'll let him know. 🐱
So sad that u don't post now
Awww! Thank you so much for reaching out! I just posted a new video and asked if anyone would like me to do a life update. Please check it out and comment when you have a moment!
without digging into ur traumas in detial and painfully cleansing the amygdala of the pain u shouldve gotten out as a kid or whenever that caused the dissasociation, u will still live a life of anxiety , mood swings and dissassociation. exposure therapies and psycho therapy first and then dbt and cbt
Hmm... many people can't handle exposure and psychotherapy *until* they have emotional coping skills that are learned in DBT -- that was the case for me!
so with what treatment have you started?
I learned Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills 💞
Dbt is not the answer for everyone. Just like this this order is 6% of the population has the least amount of money put towards it towards mental health help.
Hey there -- Totally agree about DBT not working for everyone. I can only speak to what has worked for me personally, and what I see in my work each day in the DBT skills world.
We each need to find what works for us. Also, emotionallysensitive.com has a partial scholarship application, as there's an awareness that this can be an issue. You use the contact form on the site to request more information.
My life is ruined from this. I have no friends no one everyone hates me.
I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. Have you started learning DBT Skills? I found they helped SO MUCH when it came to relationship struggles.
I feel you. I intentionally pushed everyone away and I actually feel better not having to maintain any relationships anymore. I'm just focusing on my skills from DBT and trying to stabilize before I try to make new friends.
I have lost practically all my friends, even my hairdresser bumped me. So, I empathise with you and hope that you find the support you need. Sending you best wishes.