It is like Live to Eat or Eat to live. To be honest, 5 years ago when I was suffering so deeply; I was fighting to recover so I can live. But I think it depends where you are in this journey. The perception change and morph.
omg this! I really really appreciate your videos. You're helping me to live and better cope with my anxiety. Don't give in to your anxiety, people! Your mind is lying to you
It's so interesting because the MIND is what set the BODY into this dysregulated state, yet to come out of it, the actions you take with BODY are what will set the mind right. Reverse process. So hard to step out off that ledge.
Change your thoughts, change your life right? Nope. Change your BEHAVIOR first. The thought change is based on the experiences, not just wanting to think different things. This is why old school CBT - focused on identifying irrational thoughts then assuming that identifying them would change them - does have a pretty high relapse rate. Now we lead with behavioral change. It makes no logical sense ... but here we are. :-)
@@TheAnxiousTruth I found that very interesting and relatable, regarding the CBT relapse. Many, if not most of us are extremely introspective and analytical so the CBT effects are like castles made of sand. Not completely without use, but long term, the dogged effort at behavioral changes is the more reliable path. I've definitely experienced it. Thank you for the content and the replies! Helpful!
I’m going on a seven day cruise tmrw with my family and I have anxiety around sleep , do I go anyway and just live the best way I can and accept my anxiety or do I stay home and ease myself into sleeping in new places
My trauma began age 9/ Grandpa died suddenly & no one explained or helped & then baby bro almost died as infant =IBS= me anytime stressful things = hard wired in my nervous system. I hate it😢
Well putting your life on hold not only puts so much pressure on your recovery, pressure being the last thing you want with anxiety, but also validates a core fear of anxiety, wich is not living you life. Kinda paradoxical don't you agree?
THIS! Its totally paradoxical. The knee-jerk reaction is to put life on hold but that really does reward an anxious brain for sounding false alarms and makes things worse. Thanks for the comment!
Hey drew. I’m struggling to enjoy things during the stages of recovery. I’m doing all exposures, I’m not letting my anxiety hold me back, but if I were to do something simple such as just hang out with friends which is something that I always enjoy, I don’t enjoy anymore because I always have the thoughts in my mind even when I do “nothing”.
You're allowed to have thoughts, and we don't get to demand positive feelings ever. Recovery is about learning that all states are permissible, even the states you think you should not experience. Start there. Things like feeling happy or enjoying yourself follow behind organically when you work on the primary target first.
hey drew, im glad you tackled the relapse rates of standard cbt, a year ago i was heavily depressed thinking all the work im doing doesnt really matter, it would eventually all crumble again, but im glad to say i now know it doesnt really matter, and that the relapse rates seen in standard cbt is due to the focus on "recovering to recover" not recovering to live, which is what you explain here, a year later i dont get many panic attacks and when they do pop up, which is rare i just experiance it and move on really, thank you for this, you gave me so much hope man even though you live on the other side of the world from me you helped me so much, your anxiety story audio book was a great help as well, keep making these videos your content is invaluable.
I'm glad I can help! Those relapse rates were also inflated by treatment that was based primarily on habituation rather than acceptance and learning how to navigate THROUGH. In the past CBT was all about "proving" that what if thoughts are irrational (which they are). Now we're more about "even if", which is more powerful. You can be OK even if you panic. Far more durable.
@@TheAnxiousTruth yeah the relapse rates while present still aren't as high as i thought they were, now that i am out of the thick of my anxiety disorder i can say with certainty, panic attacks while horrible in the moment aren't going to incapacitate me for long and i can still function after it has passed, my fear was that i wouldn't be able ot accomplish what i wanted in life because of them, wouldnt have the nicest car, best view on an apartment, newest thinkpad laptop (i became obsessed with thinkpads during my panic disorder lol) but that wasn't really the case, i am now looking into getting into doing my SAT exam to get into university abroad, i made some money through side hustles and i now own a nice thinkpad, i am calmer than usual and far more functional than before i even had my panic disorder, i can get more stuff done i sleep better, you know it would be great if there was a treatment that just banishes all anxiety and you never have to experience it at all, maybe that will be a thing in the future in my life time but if it never comes to happen within my life time thats fine to
Man, I can not fight my anxiety. It even freezes me from doing my job. I know it is from my marriage to a narcissist. We divorced but I still can’t let go and she is destroying me. My therapist said that I have to grow up ! However, I know 90% of it is my financial issues .
Question im struggling with a long time. I dont know my root cause. Sometimes i feel like it was due several reasons. New environment, new girlfriend, new job, arguing at home. All at the stressors same time whcih are not there anymore but anxiety is still.. But i always got flight or fight feeling when entering a new space. For example i went to the cinema en than when entering the facility, boom. Always places where it is "hard" to get out. But why do i need to get out? Social anxiety? I was never socially awkward or shy. Only against women back in the days😂. But was always scared of beint judged and being watched
The context I am always address here is the "afraid to be afraid" context, where you get anxious in a new space because you don't like how you feel in new spaces. Anxiety about being anxious. Fear of fear. Could there be a root cause? Maybe. Once you're anxious because you're anxious, then its a different or second problem.
It is like Live to Eat or Eat to live. To be honest, 5 years ago when I was suffering so deeply; I was fighting to recover so I can live. But I think it depends where you are in this journey. The perception change and morph.
omg this! I really really appreciate your videos. You're helping me to live and better cope with my anxiety. Don't give in to your anxiety, people! Your mind is lying to you
It's so interesting because the MIND is what set the BODY into this dysregulated state, yet to come out of it, the actions you take with BODY are what will set the mind right. Reverse process. So hard to step out off that ledge.
Change your thoughts, change your life right? Nope. Change your BEHAVIOR first. The thought change is based on the experiences, not just wanting to think different things. This is why old school CBT - focused on identifying irrational thoughts then assuming that identifying them would change them - does have a pretty high relapse rate. Now we lead with behavioral change. It makes no logical sense ... but here we are. :-)
@@TheAnxiousTruth I found that very interesting and relatable, regarding the CBT relapse. Many, if not most of us are extremely introspective and analytical so the CBT effects are like castles made of sand. Not completely without use, but long term, the dogged effort at behavioral changes is the more reliable path. I've definitely experienced it.
Thank you for the content and the replies! Helpful!
Been following and following your recommendations..Thanks! And yes I've bought your book 😁
Awww thank you for the support. And I hope you find the book helpful in some way!
This is word of wisdom😍
I'm glad it resonated for you. :-)
I’m going on a seven day cruise tmrw with my family and I have anxiety around sleep , do I go anyway and just live the best way I can and accept my anxiety or do I stay home and ease myself into sleeping in new places
I say go.. staying home only makes you dwell on what your feeling..
My trauma began age 9/ Grandpa died suddenly & no one explained or helped & then baby bro almost died as infant =IBS= me anytime stressful things = hard wired in my nervous system. I hate it😢
Well putting your life on hold not only puts so much pressure on your recovery, pressure being the last thing you want with anxiety, but also validates a core fear of anxiety, wich is not living you life. Kinda paradoxical don't you agree?
THIS! Its totally paradoxical. The knee-jerk reaction is to put life on hold but that really does reward an anxious brain for sounding false alarms and makes things worse. Thanks for the comment!
Anxiety has ruined my life since childhood 😢
Hey drew. I’m struggling to enjoy things during the stages of recovery. I’m doing all exposures, I’m not letting my anxiety hold me back, but if I were to do something simple such as just hang out with friends which is something that I always enjoy, I don’t enjoy anymore because I always have the thoughts in my mind even when I do “nothing”.
You're allowed to have thoughts, and we don't get to demand positive feelings ever. Recovery is about learning that all states are permissible, even the states you think you should not experience. Start there. Things like feeling happy or enjoying yourself follow behind organically when you work on the primary target first.
live life to get back normal life ???
Engage in life as best you can to get back to "normal" life. That engagement will feel far from "normal" at times, especially at first.
SO brilliant as always!! Really helpful!
You're very welcome. I'm glad you find it helpful.
hey drew, im glad you tackled the relapse rates of standard cbt, a year ago i was heavily depressed thinking all the work im doing doesnt really matter, it would eventually all crumble again, but im glad to say i now know it doesnt really matter, and that the relapse rates seen in standard cbt is due to the focus on "recovering to recover" not recovering to live, which is what you explain here, a year later i dont get many panic attacks and when they do pop up, which is rare i just experiance it and move on really, thank you for this, you gave me so much hope man even though you live on the other side of the world from me you helped me so much, your anxiety story audio book was a great help as well, keep making these videos your content is invaluable.
I'm glad I can help! Those relapse rates were also inflated by treatment that was based primarily on habituation rather than acceptance and learning how to navigate THROUGH. In the past CBT was all about "proving" that what if thoughts are irrational (which they are). Now we're more about "even if", which is more powerful. You can be OK even if you panic. Far more durable.
@@TheAnxiousTruth yeah the relapse rates while present still aren't as high as i thought they were, now that i am out of the thick of my anxiety disorder i can say with certainty, panic attacks while horrible in the moment aren't going to incapacitate me for long and i can still function after it has passed, my fear was that i wouldn't be able ot accomplish what i wanted in life because of them, wouldnt have the nicest car, best view on an apartment, newest thinkpad laptop (i became obsessed with thinkpads during my panic disorder lol) but that wasn't really the case, i am now looking into getting into doing my SAT exam to get into university abroad, i made some money through side hustles and i now own a nice thinkpad, i am calmer than usual and far more functional than before i even had my panic disorder, i can get more stuff done i sleep better, you know it would be great if there was a treatment that just banishes all anxiety and you never have to experience it at all, maybe that will be a thing in the future in my life time but if it never comes to happen within my life time thats fine to
Man, I can not fight my anxiety. It even freezes me from doing my job. I know it is from my marriage to a narcissist. We divorced but I still can’t let go and she is destroying me. My therapist said that I have to grow up ! However, I know 90% of it is my financial issues .
I love the way you talk about this
I'm glad you found it helpful in some way. :-)
Question im struggling with a long time. I dont know my root cause. Sometimes i feel like it was due several reasons. New environment, new girlfriend, new job, arguing at home. All at the stressors same time whcih are not there anymore but anxiety is still..
But i always got flight or fight feeling when entering a new space. For example i went to the cinema en than when entering the facility, boom. Always places where it is "hard" to get out. But why do i need to get out?
Social anxiety?
I was never socially awkward or shy. Only against women back in the days😂. But was always scared of beint judged and being watched
The context I am always address here is the "afraid to be afraid" context, where you get anxious in a new space because you don't like how you feel in new spaces. Anxiety about being anxious. Fear of fear. Could there be a root cause? Maybe. Once you're anxious because you're anxious, then its a different or second problem.