When she basically said she didn’t realize she was smart resonated with me. Made me sad for her. I have an older sibling who was a textbook “golden child.” She got all the praise, encouragement and attention. I am neurodivergent and was branded a screwup before I really had a chance. As an adult, I took an IQ test and discovered that I have a PhD level intellect. I was in shock. They treated me like I was a disappointment and foolish.
my dad would give me the silent treatment when I disappointed him, it could go 1 month or 2, no acknowledgement that I was alive, my parents divorced when I was 8 & I went back & forth, after that silence I left & we were estranged for yrs, when I heard he was dying I didn't reach out, didn't write call or send message, cuz that was my way of saying, "so how do u like it?" stuff like that can cauterize the heart..
The 70’ was all about the draft. The first child was needed to keep them out of Vietnam. Any others were for “fun”?! Not if they weren’t needed anymore. “I never asked to have you!” says the abusive dad.
" I think the saddest people always try the hardest to make people happy because they know what it's like to feel absolutely worthless and they don't want anyone else to feel like that. " Robin Williams
Both my parents were also narcissistic, and I relate so much to what Moon Zappa has to say. Looking forward to reading her book. It takes a lot of courage to go public about unhealthy family dynamics. Thank you, Moon.
I've watched...basically all the interviews with Moon since the book came out and this is the best one. The host asks good questions, and then listens and lets the guest talk. Almost all the other interviews seem to be the host talking at Moon and briefly letting her agree with their monologues.
100% Moon was interviewed here a year or two ago and that was a good conversation, so I perked up when I saw this come up on my feed! The difference between this and Ahmet’s show is polar.
I met Frank in the early 70s. I was with a group of musicians listening to other musicians. When the gig was over everyone approached Frank to kiss the ring. Watching people who held a good degree of genius in their own right scrape and bow was, frankly, sad. I decided that I didn't want to know him as a person. Having him as a parent would have been a nightmare. I admire Moon's resilience and creativity in the face of it all more than I admire Frank's genius..
My father was so good to me yeah it must have been a real fucking nightmare to be able to be on a TV show because you wanted to you must have been a real nightmare to have an amazing genius guitar player and composer yeah she's trying to make fucking money and you are buying it period and all your story is so brave you decided you did not want to meet him fuck off go cry in a pillow
Parents in the 70's were completely checked out. They were living their best lives at the expense of their children. My husband and I always laugh (to keep from crying) about the fact that we survived at all. I think it might account for the reason our generation became helicopter parents.
Her candor is heartbreaking! I never cared for her father’s work as his narcissism was so exaggerated but wondered about their family dynamic. Thanks ❤
It is really astonishing how badly some parents treat their kids. If we as a society really want world peace, low crime, low homelessness, etc.. All parents need to do is love their kids.
I’m Gen X and that’s how it was being raised in the 70’s 80’s. Our parents bribed and threatened to get us to do what they wanted. They weren’t honest with us and we were secretive from them. Both sides got the short end of the stick at times. In the long-term it was a crapshoot who won or lost. If there was more then one child, usually one was heralded and one was vilified.
@@marc_simmons So true. Everyone lied to their parents. I mean every single person I knew. We would often have meetings with each other to "get our stories" straight, in case parents compared notes with each other. We lead double lives.
OMG, I just loved meeting Moon Zappa through this interview! She is so authentic, candid and emotionally articulate, that I was just riveted to this whole thing. Applause and blessings to her for her strength, resilience and commitment to her own well-being and her ongoing healing in a very interesting life journey. 🌟💞☮
Big Zappa fan here and I want to say BIG BIG THANK YOU Moon for writing this! It must have been really hard and I am so looking forward to reading. Also Lyndsey = fab conducting this interview. I dabble in interviewing and at 54 I got a lot to learn still ;) anyways - ONWARD and again THANK YOU for sharing the pain!!!!
That's exactly what I have endeavored to do. It's extremely challenging, and it demands a person regularly experiencing ego puncturing, and to be much better than they otherwise likely would have been.
Empaths are people who grow up having to be overly aware of other people's moods. That isn't something you can shut off as you get older and deal with your childhood.
Great interview! I've read the book and Moon is courageous. I appreciate hearing her reality of growing up in the Zappa household. I experienced the lack of acknowledgement of emotion and for me, I was able to escape at 19 and spent many years unraveling my emotions. Having my own kids also provided further healing. THX for the book Moon!
Love to you Moon❤ I’m the oldest daughter with younger brothers, raised by hippie musician weirdos too. And got an autobio published by Feral House and most my family didn’t know or care it existed. My Dad was a charming talented Narcisst as well.
Thank you, Moon. Such a theme in our Gen X experience. My parents really enjoyed being Hippies and I was a bit of an inconvenience. We are claiming this experience in all its complexity. ❤
I will never forget seeing Moon and Frank together in an interview and the loving way he looked at her is something that I’ve never forgotten. So sorry about the reality but so proud of Moon for doing the hard work. Good job, Moon 🙏🏼✌️🌺
One of my best friends Lori who has now passed away told me that she used to babysit the Zappa children and painted Frank's bathroom. She told me that she adored the kids.She was super funny and eccentric and sometimes I wondered if it was a story she made up or if it was true, but something tells me that it was true. I can relate to Moon's story of narcissistic parents and my heart goes out to her.
Fantastic book. I'm glad she expressed in the interview what I struggled with after reading it. Does a genius' great accomplishments always have to come with the neglect (or worse) of those around them? For Moon to be able to rise above such a multi-faceted shit-show in the way she has is truly inspiring and a tribute to her remarkable spirit. May more happy things happen for her and her daughter, it's well earned!
I, too, grew up in the so-called counterculture with self-absorbed parents. Moon, from one Valley Girl to another, I’m so looking forward to reading your book,
Before viewing this interview I watched several Moon Zappa book-related interviews that were empty and predictable and I was hungering for some real insights from Moon. My wishes were met fully...bravo Lyndsey Parker, you're a brilliant interviewer.
It's a great interview, and it's somehow even better to me because of a wild detail that no one has mentioned: Based on the pictures I've seen of the house that Moon would have spent her earliest years in and Frank's attire whilst living in it, the split screen contrast takes on a very surreal vibe. If I was one of Frank Zappa's children and I was describing the challenges of that to someone wearing a black and yellow vertically striped suit in a remote room where every surface is bright pink, I'd feel kind of weird doing it, almost like they were roleplaying as him. All I'd have to do is turn the screen brightness down until the pink becomes purple and it'd be basically the same living room. It even has a big, bold, pastel-hued image on the wall, like the painting from the cover of Alice Cooper's first album, Pretties For You. Frank had the original on his wall. I don't know the exact measurements, but it looked pretty enormous.
I'm definitely getting this book. As to something you mentioned: I drew my father a Playboy magazine with crayons when I was about 5-years old. It was very anatomically correct. My mom rolled her eyes, but my dad laughed his ass off. Yes...different times. I can't imagine how it would have been in the Zappa household.
A great interview, I suspect writing this book was a really necessary experience for Moon, I'm not from such a famous family but certain things she said resonated with me, it is always good to see people come to terms with the difficult elements in their life.
Saw Dweezil perform last night. A real shame there's such rifts between Zappa siblings. I remember many years back. Seeing Frank being asked about parenting. He said something about treating them like "small adults". I assumed he meant not talking down to them. It appears he meant that LITERALLY.
@fretfix1 In the late 70s and 80s when I was really getting into his tunes, his life story wasn't so much around as it is now by virtue of youtube and his kids writing books. My preference for his musical genius hasn't changed just a whole lot makes sense and not a lot of surprises with everything coming to light about his character.
@@fretfix1 folks love to jump on the he didnt do drugs bandwagon...indeed he did just the societal accepted ones that were obviously harmful in their own way!
thanks for this. My adoptive mum used to be awful to us when my dad was away working then nice when he was at home. I,ve never heard anyone repeat this experience before.
This interview resonates in so many unexpected ways. My heart breaks because my daughter and I do not have a functional relationship. Neither have we had anything remotely like a similar experience of life! Still, there is something helpful, possibly even therapeutic, in this conversation. I can’t wait to get my copy of the book. Perhaps, in a word or a simple turn of phrase I will find an inspiration or an understanding that will help make the remainder of our journey a more perfect, more beautiful thing. I am very grateful for Moon’s willingness to share her experiences and efforts. Also, for the age-appropriate part of the journey, I would cast Aubrey Plaza as Moon. Perhaps she could narrate the rest of the story!
Thanks for a great interview! Frank being generally uninvolved in raising the kids was not a secret but the details are a real bummer. You can see how conflicted Moon is even after all these years. I’m not judging her, I’m just saying time doesn’t always heal all wounds. Can’t wait to read the book!
I've seen a few of Moon's interviews that made me pre-order her book. As a long time Frank fan, I was completely clueless about his home life. I never knew it was anything like that. I hope this book becomes a source of healing for her.
My big observation so far is that this interview gently implies that Gail might have had the more toxic personality than Frank, while a particularly painful moment near the end of Dweezil's interview with Marc Maron unintentionally drives that impression through my head like a sledgehammer-guided railroad spike.
As a young musician I idolized her father... In musicians circles whether you liked his music or not nobody could deny that him and his bandmates were all ridiculously talented. That incident with the harp? It sounds like she graduated from a student model and needed a professional one...and he SNUBS her. WTF? He also could've put a phone call into the LA symphony and you would have first chair harpists fighing for the privelidge of giving his daughter free harp lessons to have a connection with somebody of the magnitude of her father. WTF? Man, what a letdown.....and poor Moon. She is such a trooper and has remained as positive as anybody could be in spite of all this but this is beyond sick. I've been a fan of Frank for over 40 years....not anymore. I'll always love his music but as a person? What a piece of garbage. Sorry Frank...and even more sorry for your daughter. Jeez Louise....that poor woman.
Thanks for doing this. Talk about not knowing what was going on behind the scenes! I was clueless! As a Frank Zappa obsessive, this is an eye opener. I have a copy of Moon's book on order. Part of me doesn't want to know the bad shit about Frank but part of me needs to know Moon's story. I owe it to her to buy a copy and pay attention to her message and experiences.
When Alex Winter put together his FZ documentary, he said there was explicit footage the siblings should never ever see, but he said there was a lot of valuable footage that should eventually be digitized and released.
There's "A day with Frank Zappa" on youtube, he has a room chock full of homemade groupie porn on the walls and he's even editing what looks like a homemade porn". Also feeling up his groupie girlfriends in the family house, if I had much care for morals I might go "mmmh".
Moon .... big respect & applaud your honesty . Everyone always says , It was a different time 70s 80s .. but , right is right, wrote is wrong. I'm glad, your Dad stayed , even if it was ..........
Thank you for sharing this. That was very interesting to me because I was raised by extremely creative parents and there was kind of a lack of structure and a lack of rules in my household and I felt kind of competitive with my parents. So I related to some of the things that Moon Zappa said in this interview and yet in some ways both my parents are really creative and wonderful and sensitive people and at the same time they're like the opposite of conservative overly strict parents. If you go too far in the other direction that can have ramifications on a kid's self-esteem and self-confidence and sense of self etc
My dad was just a college professor but he was also the center of the family. I also had three other siblings. We also have no real closeness to each other. But they still had a hero worship of my dad until he died. I lost it
I completely understand what she went through! We’re about the same age and have so many similarities with narcissistic family dynamics. I also grew up in the Valley.
Frank is such an interesting character. On the one hand he was a genius who managed to break out of the social constraints of the time, but seemed to resent “regular folks,” and people just trying to get by. Pajama People, Flakes, and Rudy Wants To By You A Drink. I suppose this came from a feeling of rejection that he felt he got from “regular folks,” when he was growing up. He was also self motivated and intelligent to the point he could just go to the library and figure things out for himself. As a result, he didn’t seem to see the point of a formal education, since he did need one. It would be hard to be a regular kid in That environment.
Frank grew up being harrassed by "people just trying to get by". He was a scapegoat, and he hated the way "regular folks" thought they had an excuse to be aggressive jerks towards him just because they didn't get everything they wanted in life by being mediocre. He literally went to jail because he was coerced into participating in what appeared to be the making of pornography but was actually an antagonistic sting operation by the local police who just plain didn't like the way he looked, and whatever attempts to appeal this he made failed, probably because the judge felt the same way about him. A year later, he was released and immediately joined the bar band that he would turn into The Mothers Of Invention. "Flakes" is about how people who don't give a shit about doing their jobs correctly (even for the sake of avoiding outright endangering customers due to their negligence) are pissing on the graves of the people who started the unions that exist to protect them from harm and abuse, not from standards and accountability.
@@zorantaylor3190 I agree. I always got the impression that Zappa liked or disliked people much the same way as everyone else. The people who framed him and got him jailed were utterly despicable, by anyone's measure. Maybe he was just wary and slightly detached after that but I didn't know him, so I'm speculating.
geez, what a secure, confident and articulate person moon is. sorry the journey was what it was. yet you seem all the stronger for it. ill buy the book to learn from your insights...
I always loved Moon. Being around the same age and living in SoCal. I Loved the Valley Girl Song I remember seeing her on TV and thinking how smart, beautiful, shy and most importantly, to me, that she seemed so grounded even through the confusion ( fast industry) of what was going on. I felt a kindred spirit. An HSP. Still a Beautiful Soul. Can't wait to read the book.
Received my copy of "Earth to Moon: A Memoir" several days ago & have already begun reading. Moon's done a great job in telling her story. Heartbreaking at times & Heartlifting at others.
I saw Zappa Moon and D at the Anthem in Studio City Many years ago. How things come around. Congratulations on your book. You inspire the road to healing❤❤
I followed Zappa from 77 and until his death. He was clear on his views on marriage, and I wasnt impressed by that. A musical genius, and at times politcally sharp, but I had no illusions of him beeing a perfect father. Then Gail turned out to be psycho, more or less. What a way to split up the siblings, just awful. It is obvously up to the youngest to set the record straigt and split the trust in equal shares, as frank wanted it to be. Keep strong Moon.
I know it's not exactly the same but I just seeing Moon benefitting by talking to the remaining Cowsills as they grew up in a rather tumultuous existence. I don't read book much but find this one interesting because I wonder about some of the surroundings and others once connected to Frank seem to have fuzzy memories when I inquire. The whole parenting thing only has a chance to work if you consider the aspects that went wrong in your own upbringing. Kinda ironic that structure is probably the main ingredient and you'd think someone who was musically inclined would see his children more emotionally but there lies the problem with music, it is easily diluted down to mathematics. You gotta mix the 2.
So glad I grew up a poor, self reliant, family appreciating, worked for everything I ever had kinda guy. I genuinely feel bad for all these people with more baggage than I could ever want to carry. Being an average regular guy has never been so rewarding. Frank...musical genius, Dweezil carrying it on. Oh ma God, totally ...I hope Moon continues to resolve any issues.
Ms. Zappa, genius stands on the shoulders of giants -and on the shoulders of their family. I know from personal experience. That said I can't help but appreciate your Dad's genius. I was one of the people that benefitted from it.
Listening to your interviews this week, Moon, made me think a lot about my own journey through mental health and trauma and trying to rewire my brain. I know how much work you must have done. I know how venerable you had to be to do all this. You're very brave. I'm going to read your book this week.
@@theoriginalsurferbob Wow, you're the same guy from the other thread? What an incredibly shocking coincidence. Surely your assessment of Frank's music can't be completely consistent with the emotional intelligence on display here. That would just be too convenient. Not to mention hilarious.
WOW, I can relate to so much said here. It's sad, yet at the same time comforting knowing I'm not alone, because growing up in this way can feel alone. This and even more when you feel like the only one because siblings act differently about it all and you're the "odd one or crazy one." About her dad, damn that hits real with me. I appreciate Moons honesty and think her book can also help others to know they are not alone. 💕 Also, being exposed to adult sexualized things as a child can ether go the way of being monogamous and a bit more reserved or it can make you hyper sexualized.
I've learned that many great artists/ achievers are a sort of savant/addict. It just happens their area of exceptionalism/addiction is something of which others find great value. Of course sadly this can mean most OTHER things in their lives are compromised.
Aptly put. I think father Frank had no protection filter for his kids. Stories I've heard and docs I've seen say growing up in the Laurel Canyon dwelling people were running around half naked a lot of time. Topless women. It's amazing none of Frank's kids turned out more bizarre than him.
When Moon and Dweezil Zappa were Mtv VJ's it was just the best because they were young and more relateable to a young teen than some 20/30/40yr old VJ. Moon always wore unique clothes and dresses, but they were both really cool and both Zappas played off each other real well. -and always laughing or saying something funny. Mtv was great back then, but the two Zappa kids were must watch Mtv.
She single-handedly changed the way that American teenagers (and eventually everyone) spoke with one hit song. If you look at man on the street interviews before Valley Girl, and then after Valley Girl, it’s pretty obvious that the song completely changed the culture. I can’t wait to read her book. She and I are the same age, and had a lot of similar experiences.
As a guy roughly her age who's seen several interviews over the years I've always thought Moon was a super cool intelligent chic. Didn't know until now of her neglect. So sorry. I'd love to be her friend. I'll bet she is an awesome mom.
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I grew up being 9 in 69 and listening to my older brothers "Mothers'"albums.Now I am immersed in understanding the many expressions,including CPTSD and all its sisters ,resulting from dynamic parent child relationships.Its more interesting than a Zappa record.We love ya Moon.
Wow, what a callous, reductive insult to an extraordinarily insightful and moving interview. Reducing Frank and Gail's personalities to pure narcissism while borrowing the rhetorical styling of Donald Trump tweets is....a new one. Irony's eating good tonight.
Not being flippant here. It all sounds exactly like a Laurel Canyon military experiment mind control aftermath scene. What an unfortunate continuing familial collateral damage story.
There's two things that IMO one cannot truly understand Frank Zappa's relationship with his family without knowing. The first and more obvious and acknowledged one is that Frank was the son of a straight-laced, serious and completely non-musical manufacturer of chemical warfare agents whose idea of having toys around for his son to play with was just never bothering to put away all the used, contaminated gas masks left over from work, and when he got old enough to wander further away from home, Frank was just walking around in the California desert with an acoustic guitar getting yelled at by people for playing it around them and for "looking weird". The second is more unexpected, and I only really started to think deeply about it just as I was listening to this interview: Frank's one close friend growing up was Captain Beefheart. Young Don Van Vliet's childhood was the only one Frank really knew well enough to compare to his own, and it was the extreme opposite. Don's parents let him drop out of school after kindergarden and did nothing but laud and elevate his artistic pursuits. The eventual practical applications of his talent and the skills to survive a harsh and uncaring world were an afterthought, if the existence of these challenges were even acknowledged at all. Beefheart himself admitted in at least one interview I've heard that his vision for his own future, from the very beginning, largely revolved around making sure he could avoid certain things as completely as possible, educational and business institutions of any kind being chief among them. I have no doubt that Frank was jealous of the life that this much looser, more primitive sort of musical savant in the making got to live and desperately wanted a version of it for himself, but also got to see firsthand how that created its own set of problems when it's the FIRST thing a creative person ever learns to expect out of life, given how tumultuous and ultimately unsuccessful their later attempts to collaborate ended up being. So I think Frank honestly believed that, in a perverse way, he was modelling the one valuable thing he truly knew how to for his kids by being a self-made savant, because at least that way he wasn't fostering a whole other kind of emotional dysfunction in them that he had concrete proof of the outcomes of. Zappa's relationship with Beefheart was an incredibly unlikely and extraordinary one, but it imploded for reasons that Zappa could undoubtedly trace directly back to a kind of overly indulgent parenting that he also simultaneously craved so deeply that he organized his adult family life around finally having a version of it for himself. All he really knew for sure was that having that later in life, after you've taken on the responsibility of making big decisions independently, seemed to be better for his sanity than Don's experience of the opposite dynamic was for him, and Frank just wanted to make the best of what he'd learned without having to sacrifice the extent to which his unbelievably prolific output was his own anxious coping mechanism, especially during the period where Moon was moving into young adulthood and he had cancer and very little time left to live. I suspect a part of Frank really wanted to shift gears more in his last years, to be more intimate and less prolific. There's a 20-ish minute news piece, I think with Barbara Walters? 1992? It addresses his impending death right off the top, and the vibe of "a genius on his deathbed quietly realizing some of his own flaws and trying to soften up a bit but realizing it's too late" is so thick you could cut it it with a pair of zircon-encrusted tweezers. He even tries at the end to make us believe that he doesn't care about being remembered when he's gone, saying that's the kind of thing guys like Ronald Reagan would care about. It's so unconvincing it makes his acting in the Coneheads skit from the time when he hosted SNL look like Lawrence Olivier's Hamlet. It's really kind of heartbreaking.
I can't say whether your assesment is correct or not. I agree with the first part of the your observations about the interview with Barbara Walters, but I *do* think he genuinely did not care if he was remembered or not. That part seemed utterly genuine to me. Not hard to imagine, as people often begin to let go of the world as they realize they're living their last days.
What struck me hearing Moon talk, is Frank was always opposed to gov't. intervention in what kids had access to, or letting kids being exposed to all aspects of life, and yet Moon is saying she wished there was control of things she saw in the home, and things she was exposed to at so young of an age. Just goes to show how public perception of an individual can be so wrong. There was this perception that Frank, when appearing on TV shows, was raising the "perfect family", when in fact it was anything but. To hear about her mom's betrayal involving the will, I'm sure was a devastating blow to her. Moon would be an interesting person to talk to. She reminds me of Justine Bateman.
@@clintstewart5545 Maybe. She criticized him for not having health insurance, but to me the guy was anti establishment, and probably didn't trust the medical industry. I didn't think that was odd at all, it fit with who he was in my opinion. I'd like to hear from the other siblings, and their opinion of the book.
@@oldhickory4686 well he did went to the doctors several times complain about a issue about peeing and he took them quiete some time to diagnosed his illness and he was already to late, he kind of was how he imagine him a guy just focus on work, I remember a interview him saying slept during the day worked during the night when he had peace at home, everyone literal everyone has childhood problems and bad family decisions, it's part of life no one was perfect, but his wife seemed a bit horrible kind of jealous type of women and manipulative I don't know
I had a girlfriend who was into those womens magazines, so I looked thru some to see what she was into, geezus, writing was so ungrounded( imagine that) trying to normalize weird zero values to sell a "successful" Happy Hooker type lifestyle..
@@words4dyslexicon Now imagine being a little girl, adolescent, and teenager reading that magazine around the house because your mother buys it, and thinking what it says is OK because your mother buys it. Then you go out and start dating having been imprinted with the values in cosmopolitan. It’s a recipe for disaster.
Isn't it interesting that most of the legendary and iconic rock stars were born in the silent generation. From Chuck Berry, Elvis, John Lennon, Zappa to Blackmore, were all born into the "mind frame" of the late 1920s to the mid 1940s culture. My parents were born into that time period as well. I can relate to this also.
Genius or not, a person can choose to be a decent human being, especially to one’s family. Perhaps Frank and Gail both had personality disorders, or terrible upbringings themselves. Both sound like they were crappy parents, and Frank was a lousy husband. Peace and love to you, Moon.
Love on Moon. I’ve been working through a very different but similar situation which was only helped through Dr. Ramany’s work on triangulation in a narcissistic family. Moon is so grounded. I’ll read her book.
All people are flawed. Just to what degree! I was a big fan of Frank's, but these revelations do taint my feelings about him. Genius is a razors edge, such a fine line between that and the opposite.
I have seen a few of the interviews of Miss Moon, on this book "tour". This is the only one that she gets to complete a sentence, full explanation, with out being hurried. I have always been in love with Moon and ofcours had an image of her life, WOW, was I wrong. I've always been impressed with her intelligence & believd she inherited it from Frank. She probably got the smart genes, but her," I have to go get more information on this, learn, learn, learn". I have also been curious as to how she never showed any fear or nerves any time she's performed or interviewed? Just as calm and cool as an ice sculpture. I relly want to read this book because I have always been blown away by how cute she is. I saw her w/Dweezil before, Valley Girl came out, 🥰 ever since. I'm a big FZ fan, so here's my dilemma, do I want to read about a hero of mine, musically ORR the lady I've been admiring (love) for so long? 🤔Shush, I'm thinkin', do I need to find out about how Frank came up with ,My guitar wants to kill your mother? Or how Miss Moon came through a mountain of Shite and was able to navigate with out a map.😎💡Guess I will be learning about the Lady I can never have !😮 😭 Also learn the disturbing truth about some other's.My love to Miss Moon, and Miss Lindsey, for the best interview/ Interviewer I've come across. Thank You💋
I bought Freak Out in grade school when it came out, by some weird higher direction, but my first disappointment with Frank early on was his attitude about women. I never stopped loving his beautiful melodies and constructions but his 'comedy' always seemed mean spirited sexism. I did think about Moon and wondered how the hell he came to where he ended up and didn't have a greater appreciation of women as individual spirit beings. It seemed a very short sighted notion of The Big Note.
There has never in human history been a good parent or an untraumatized child, only variations in detail and severity. Still, I, who am almost impossible to shock, was shocked when Gail said, in Zappa, "I married a composer" and did not know if that would pay off. It seemed cold, calculating, and a wee tad Machiavellian.
Does Lyndsey have a mirror over to her left? She seems to be really interested in her reflection, and possibly her hair at one point in the interview. If I was Moon, I think I'd wonder how invested she is in her conversation with me.
Hi there, this is an interesting comment so I will reply. I did explicitly mention this to Moon, but perhaps you missed it, that I had another computer monitor to my left, on which I had all the MANY questions and copious notes I'd written after diving into her book. (I say this at 10:15 in this video.) So if you saw me glancing sideways, that was why. I absolutely was NOT ignoring this fascinating woman I'd done so much research on! I just like to be prepared, plus often when a subject says something I remember I'd made a note about that specific subject, so I consult my notes. However, while this method (I write lots of notes/questions for all of my interviews and have them at the ready) works well for audio-only interviews, I supposed it can cause me to look like I'm distracted, so perhaps I should consider another method. Anyway, that's one answer/explanation. As for the hair thing... ya got me, LOL.
I met Moon when she was a baby, in Venice Beach. Back then, I'm not sure if the majority of the people running around were conscious at all of what they were doing to their children. When she says " It's hard to give from a place of emptiness." what a beautiful statement. "Growing up with no hang ups," to me means someone is not being responsible. Men have been left to be predators in our culture that has no culture, and it has left many women traumatized, and deeply wounded, maybe we needed this to grow as a species, and for women to wake up and say NOPE. I'm glad she has the ability to speak out and be brave. I think I can empathize with her about parents who give you no structure, encouragement, or direction. My own family is so alienated from each other and are so untrusting. This is a major flaw in our christian culture, no mythology, were suppose to believe lie, and have no hope-except death.
Frank gave his advice to other parents in his book that I looked at in the bookstore, where he said, keep your kids as far away from Christianity and church as you can, etc. How'd that turn out? By their fruits... I feel for Moon and hope she finds the love and peace she missed growing up.
When she basically said she didn’t realize she was smart resonated with me. Made me sad for her. I have an older sibling who was a textbook “golden child.” She got all the praise, encouragement and attention. I am neurodivergent and was branded a screwup before I really had a chance. As an adult, I took an IQ test and discovered that I have a PhD level intellect. I was in shock. They treated me like I was a disappointment and foolish.
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my dad would give me the silent treatment when I disappointed him, it could go
1 month or 2, no acknowledgement that I was alive, my parents divorced when I was 8 & I went back & forth, after that silence I left & we were estranged for yrs, when I heard he was dying I didn't reach out, didn't write call or send message, cuz that was my way of saying, "so how do u like it?"
stuff like that can cauterize the heart..
The 70’ was all about the draft. The first child was needed to keep them out of Vietnam. Any others were for “fun”?! Not if they weren’t needed anymore.
“I never asked to have you!” says the abusive dad.
Feel you. 🙏🕊️
And all the joy felt away from the birth family is a thing. My world family supports me.
Moon isn't just sharing HER history, but sharing many of OUR history & trauma healing.🙏🕊️
" I think the saddest people always try the hardest to make people happy because they know what it's like to feel absolutely worthless and they don't want anyone else to feel like that. "
Robin Williams
Both my parents were also narcissistic, and I relate so much to what Moon Zappa has to say. Looking forward to reading her book. It takes a lot of courage to go public about unhealthy family dynamics. Thank you, Moon.
I've watched...basically all the interviews with Moon since the book came out and this is the best one. The host asks good questions, and then listens and lets the guest talk.
Almost all the other interviews seem to be the host talking at Moon and briefly letting her agree with their monologues.
Agree. Her interview on Marc Maron’s podcast is also quite good.
100%
Moon was interviewed here a year or two ago and that was a good conversation, so I perked up when I saw this come up on my feed! The difference between this and Ahmet’s show is polar.
I met Frank in the early 70s. I was with a group of musicians listening to other musicians. When the gig was over everyone approached Frank to kiss the ring. Watching people who held a good degree of genius in their own right scrape and bow was, frankly, sad. I decided that I didn't want to know him as a person. Having him as a parent would have been a nightmare. I admire Moon's resilience and creativity in the face of it all more than I admire Frank's genius..
My father was so good to me yeah it must have been a real fucking nightmare to be able to be on a TV show because you wanted to you must have been a real nightmare to have an amazing genius guitar player and composer yeah she's trying to make fucking money and you are buying it period and all your story is so brave you decided you did not want to meet him fuck off go cry in a pillow
I loved Zappa's talent. But he always felt too good to be true. Thank you for humanizing him. Moon Zappa has my totall respect.
Parents in the 70's were completely checked out. They were living their best lives at the expense of their children. My husband and I always laugh (to keep from crying) about the fact that we survived at all. I think it might account for the reason our generation became helicopter parents.
💯
Not even.
Her candor is heartbreaking! I never cared for her father’s work as his narcissism was so exaggerated but wondered about their family dynamic. Thanks ❤
It is really astonishing how badly some parents treat their kids. If we as a society really want world peace, low crime, low homelessness, etc.. All parents need to do is love their kids.
So true. It that simple. Parent's love your children. ❤
It’s not that simple at all. Today’s selfish and/or abusive parents are yesterday’s neglected children, and our judgment and scorn are not helpful.
Loads of parents
I’m Gen X and that’s how it was being raised in the 70’s 80’s.
Our parents bribed and threatened to get us to do what they wanted.
They weren’t honest with us and we were secretive from them. Both sides got the short end of the stick at times.
In the long-term it was a crapshoot who won or lost.
If there was more then one child, usually one was heralded and one was vilified.
@@marc_simmons So true. Everyone lied to their parents. I mean every single person I knew. We would often have meetings with each other to "get our stories" straight, in case parents compared notes with each other. We lead double lives.
I’ve always really appreciated moon, she’s quite the role model when it comes to traumatic healing. Thanks for posting! ❤
OMG, I just loved meeting Moon Zappa through this interview! She is so authentic, candid and emotionally articulate, that I was just riveted to this whole thing. Applause and blessings to her for her strength, resilience and commitment to her own well-being and her ongoing healing in a very interesting life journey. 🌟💞☮
Big Zappa fan here and I want to say BIG BIG THANK YOU Moon for writing this! It must have been really hard and I am so looking forward to reading. Also Lyndsey = fab conducting this interview. I dabble in interviewing and at 54 I got a lot to learn still ;) anyways - ONWARD and again THANK YOU for sharing the pain!!!!
We should strive to become the parents we wish our parents had been.
That's exactly what I have endeavored to do. It's extremely challenging, and it demands a person regularly experiencing ego puncturing, and to be much better than they otherwise likely would have been.
Yeah but we tend to do as weve seen done to us
And it’s the only way to break the cycle x
I did
I did, but your kids still find fault…its hard being a parent
Empaths are people who grow up having to be overly aware of other people's moods. That isn't something you can shut off as you get older and deal with your childhood.
What a lovely, eloquent woman..,great interview ❤
Great interview! I've read the book and Moon is courageous. I appreciate hearing her reality of growing up in the Zappa household. I experienced the lack of acknowledgement of emotion and for me, I was able to escape at 19 and spent many years unraveling my emotions. Having my own kids also provided further healing. THX for the book Moon!
Love to you Moon❤ I’m the oldest daughter with younger brothers, raised by hippie musician weirdos too. And got an autobio published by Feral House and most my family didn’t know or care it existed.
My Dad was a charming talented Narcisst as well.
Sensitive, kind, brave and diligent. I want to be Moon Zappa when I grow up.
Why wait?
Lose about 50 IQ points first.
@@williamsmith666just why?
She would likely encourage you to be the best version of YOU.
Thank you, Moon. Such a theme in our Gen X experience. My parents really enjoyed being Hippies and I was a bit of an inconvenience. We are claiming this experience in all its complexity. ❤
I will never forget seeing Moon and Frank together in an interview and the loving way he looked at her is something that I’ve never forgotten. So sorry about the reality but so proud of Moon for doing the hard work. Good job, Moon 🙏🏼✌️🌺
One of my best friends Lori who has now passed away told me that she used to babysit the Zappa children and painted Frank's bathroom. She told me that she adored the kids.She was super funny and eccentric and sometimes I wondered if it was a story she made up or if it was true, but something tells me that it was true. I can relate to Moon's story of narcissistic parents and my heart goes out to her.
Fantastic book. I'm glad she expressed in the interview what I struggled with after reading it. Does a genius' great accomplishments always have to come with the neglect (or worse) of those around them? For Moon to be able to rise above such a multi-faceted shit-show in the way she has is truly inspiring and a tribute to her remarkable spirit. May more happy things happen for her and her daughter, it's well earned!
I, too, grew up in the so-called counterculture with self-absorbed parents. Moon, from one Valley Girl to another, I’m so looking forward to reading your book,
What's funny about how you phrased that is that "so-called counterculture" is itself such a textbook Zappa sentiment.
@@zorantaylor3190 Ha! Well, I guess I got it from Frank, and the phrase stuck in my head.
Rich/famous doesn't necessarily equate great or even good parents/people. You did good, girl! Libras are troopers! ❤
Before viewing this interview I watched several Moon Zappa book-related interviews that were empty and predictable and I was hungering for some real insights from Moon. My wishes were met fully...bravo Lyndsey Parker, you're a brilliant interviewer.
It's a great interview, and it's somehow even better to me because of a wild detail that no one has mentioned: Based on the pictures I've seen of the house that Moon would have spent her earliest years in and Frank's attire whilst living in it, the split screen contrast takes on a very surreal vibe. If I was one of Frank Zappa's children and I was describing the challenges of that to someone wearing a black and yellow vertically striped suit in a remote room where every surface is bright pink, I'd feel kind of weird doing it, almost like they were roleplaying as him. All I'd have to do is turn the screen brightness down until the pink becomes purple and it'd be basically the same living room. It even has a big, bold, pastel-hued image on the wall, like the painting from the cover of Alice Cooper's first album, Pretties For You. Frank had the original on his wall. I don't know the exact measurements, but it looked pretty enormous.
I'm definitely getting this book. As to something you mentioned: I drew my father a Playboy magazine with crayons when I was about 5-years old. It was very anatomically correct. My mom rolled her eyes, but my dad laughed his ass off. Yes...different times. I can't imagine how it would have been in the Zappa household.
A great interview, I suspect writing this book was a really necessary experience for Moon, I'm not from such a famous family but certain things she said resonated with me, it is always good to see people come to terms with the difficult elements in their life.
Saw Dweezil perform last night. A real shame there's such rifts between Zappa siblings. I remember many years back. Seeing Frank being asked about parenting. He said something about treating them like "small adults". I assumed he meant not talking down to them. It appears he meant that LITERALLY.
Frank was a bad bad parent. Excellent musician. Terrible father and husband.
@@Seeklip196THe was hard on everyone around him, musicians included. He also abused coffee and cigarettes! ;)
@fretfix1 In the late 70s and 80s when I was really getting into his tunes, his life story wasn't so much around as it is now by virtue of youtube and his kids writing books. My preference for his musical genius hasn't changed just a whole lot makes sense and not a lot of surprises with everything coming to light about his character.
@fretfix1 and don't forget his love of peaches en regalia! Not only was that a cool song but an actual dessert too!
@@fretfix1 folks love to jump on the he didnt do drugs bandwagon...indeed he did just the societal accepted ones that were obviously harmful in their own way!
She’s a gem.💎🌙
Germ? Oh! GEM! I read it wrong, lol. Sorry.
I never bought into the myth of the perfect Zappa family which was fed to the public by Zappa and his wife.
Look at Moon’s parents as Narcissistic and it all makes sense.To bad she didn’t have parents worthy of her love and couldn’t find that in them
Bingo.
Frank was very possibly even a pro-social psychopath, with some narcissistic traits.
@@FreeBrunoPowroznik you love lingo
I’m looking forward to reading Moon’s book. I’m glad I unexpectedly discovered the interview
Blessings to you Moon. Congratulations on the book and thank you for doing this interview. I really needed to hear this today. All the best always 🙏🏻🤍
thanks for this. My adoptive mum used to be awful to us when my dad was away working then nice when he was at home. I,ve never heard anyone repeat this experience before.
Sounds typical really?
That’s terrible. I’m sorry.
Lots of people have children, that doesn’t make them parents
This interview resonates in so many unexpected ways. My heart breaks because my daughter and I do not have a functional relationship. Neither have we had anything remotely like a similar experience of life! Still, there is something helpful, possibly even therapeutic, in this conversation. I can’t wait to get my copy of the book. Perhaps, in a word or a simple turn of phrase I will find an inspiration or an understanding that will help make the remainder of our journey a more perfect, more beautiful thing. I am very grateful for Moon’s willingness to share her experiences and efforts.
Also, for the age-appropriate part of the journey, I would cast Aubrey Plaza as Moon. Perhaps she could narrate the rest of the story!
Yes! Plaza is perfect. I hope you find some healing with your daughter.
Thanks for a great interview! Frank being generally uninvolved in raising the kids was not a secret but the details are a real bummer. You can see how conflicted Moon is even after all these years. I’m not judging her, I’m just saying time doesn’t always heal all wounds. Can’t wait to read the book!
This sounds like my experience also. Big hugs and healing to Moon🩷 You are loved
I've seen a few of Moon's interviews that made me pre-order her book. As a long time Frank fan, I was completely clueless about his home life. I never knew it was anything like that. I hope this book becomes a source of healing for her.
Fascinating interview with Moon! Looking forward to reading her book. One thing I give Dweezil and Moon is that they seem so genuinely nice.
My big observation so far is that this interview gently implies that Gail might have had the more toxic personality than Frank, while a particularly painful moment near the end of Dweezil's interview with Marc Maron unintentionally drives that impression through my head like a sledgehammer-guided railroad spike.
How nice
As a young musician I idolized her father... In musicians circles whether you liked his music or not nobody could deny that him and his bandmates were all ridiculously talented. That incident with the harp? It sounds like she graduated from a student model and needed a professional one...and he SNUBS her. WTF? He also could've put a phone call into the LA symphony and you would have first chair harpists fighing for the privelidge of giving his daughter free harp lessons to have a connection with somebody of the magnitude of her father. WTF? Man, what a letdown.....and poor Moon. She is such a trooper and has remained as positive as anybody could be in spite of all this but this is beyond sick. I've been a fan of Frank for over 40 years....not anymore. I'll always love his music but as a person? What a piece of garbage. Sorry Frank...and even more sorry for your daughter. Jeez Louise....that poor woman.
Thanks for doing this. Talk about not knowing what was going on behind the scenes! I was clueless! As a Frank Zappa obsessive, this is an eye opener. I have a copy of Moon's book on order. Part of me doesn't want to know the bad shit about Frank but part of me needs to know Moon's story. I owe it to her to buy a copy and pay attention to her message and experiences.
The saying never meet your heros is a very true statement.
Dave McGowan mentioned what a jerk Frank was in his book "Weird Scenes in the Canyon"
When Alex Winter put together his FZ documentary, he said there was explicit footage the siblings should never ever see, but he said there was a lot of valuable footage that should eventually be digitized and released.
There's "A day with Frank Zappa" on youtube, he has a room chock full of homemade groupie porn on the walls and he's even editing what looks like a homemade porn". Also feeling up his groupie girlfriends in the family house, if I had much care for morals I might go "mmmh".
Damn. Makes you wonder what that footage was. It beggars the imagination.
In an interview, Zapper said he didn't see what was wrong with sleeping with a 12 yr old. It's in the archives.
Thank you for this amazing interview. Moon is such a brilliant and kind person
Big hugs to Moon. I hope the family can heal their rift.
Moon .... big respect & applaud your honesty .
Everyone always says , It was a different time 70s 80s .. but , right is right, wrote is wrong.
I'm glad, your Dad stayed , even if it was ..........
Thank you for sharing this. That was very interesting to me because I was raised by extremely creative parents and there was kind of a lack of structure and a lack of rules in my household and I felt kind of competitive with my parents. So I related to some of the things that Moon Zappa said in this interview and yet in some ways both my parents are really creative and wonderful and sensitive people and at the same time they're like the opposite of conservative overly strict parents. If you go too far in the other direction that can have ramifications on a kid's self-esteem and self-confidence and sense of self etc
My dad was just a college professor but he was also the center of the family. I also had three other siblings. We also have no real closeness to each other. But they still had a hero worship of my dad until he died. I lost it
I completely understand what she went through! We’re about the same age and have so many similarities with narcissistic family dynamics. I also grew up in the Valley.
Frank is such an interesting character. On the one hand he was a genius who managed to break out of the social constraints of the time, but seemed to resent “regular folks,” and people just trying to get by. Pajama People, Flakes, and Rudy Wants To By You A Drink. I suppose this came from a feeling of rejection that he felt he got from “regular folks,” when he was growing up.
He was also self motivated and intelligent to the point he could just go to the library and figure things out for himself. As a result, he didn’t seem to see the point of a formal education, since he did need one.
It would be hard to be a regular kid in That environment.
Frank grew up being harrassed by "people just trying to get by". He was a scapegoat, and he hated the way "regular folks" thought they had an excuse to be aggressive jerks towards him just because they didn't get everything they wanted in life by being mediocre. He literally went to jail because he was coerced into participating in what appeared to be the making of pornography but was actually an antagonistic sting operation by the local police who just plain didn't like the way he looked, and whatever attempts to appeal this he made failed, probably because the judge felt the same way about him. A year later, he was released and immediately joined the bar band that he would turn into The Mothers Of Invention. "Flakes" is about how people who don't give a shit about doing their jobs correctly (even for the sake of avoiding outright endangering customers due to their negligence) are pissing on the graves of the people who started the unions that exist to protect them from harm and abuse, not from standards and accountability.
@@zorantaylor3190 I agree. I always got the impression that Zappa liked or disliked people much the same way as everyone else. The people who framed him and got him jailed were utterly despicable, by anyone's measure. Maybe he was just wary and slightly detached after that but I didn't know him, so I'm speculating.
geez, what a secure, confident and articulate person moon is. sorry the journey was what it was. yet you seem all the stronger for it. ill buy the book to learn from your insights...
I always loved Moon. Being around the same age and living in SoCal. I Loved the Valley Girl Song
I remember seeing her on TV and thinking how smart, beautiful, shy and most importantly, to me, that she seemed so grounded even through the confusion ( fast industry) of what was going on.
I felt a kindred spirit. An HSP. Still a Beautiful Soul. Can't wait to read the book.
Received my copy of "Earth to Moon: A Memoir" several days ago & have already begun reading. Moon's done a great job in telling her story. Heartbreaking at times & Heartlifting at others.
I saw Zappa Moon and D at the Anthem in Studio City Many years ago. How things come around. Congratulations on your book. You inspire the road to healing❤❤
I followed Zappa from 77 and until his death. He was clear on his views on marriage, and I wasnt impressed by that. A musical genius, and at times politcally sharp, but I had no illusions of him beeing a perfect father. Then Gail turned out to be psycho, more or less. What a way to split up the siblings, just awful. It is obvously up to the youngest to set the record straigt and split the trust in equal shares, as frank wanted it to be. Keep strong Moon.
Moon is and always will be cuter than a box of kittens. So glad she finally gets to share her truth!!
I know it's not exactly the same but I just seeing Moon benefitting by talking to the remaining Cowsills as they grew up in a rather tumultuous existence. I don't read book much but find this one interesting because I wonder about some of the surroundings and others once connected to Frank seem to have fuzzy memories when I inquire. The whole parenting thing only has a chance to work if you consider the aspects that went wrong in your own upbringing. Kinda ironic that structure is probably the main ingredient and you'd think someone who was musically inclined would see his children more emotionally but there lies the problem with music, it is easily diluted down to mathematics. You gotta mix the 2.
So glad I grew up a poor, self reliant, family appreciating, worked for everything I ever had kinda guy. I genuinely feel bad for all these people with more baggage than I could ever want to carry. Being an average regular guy has never been so rewarding. Frank...musical genius, Dweezil carrying it on. Oh ma God, totally ...I hope Moon continues to resolve any issues.
You’ve never worked in M.H. or been inside a psych class, we get it.
Moon's awesome. Family of origin dysfunction sucks but when mom is stuck on NPD behaviour,the sweet smart sensitive kid usually gets it good.
Is NPD Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
I was obsessed for awhile with moon ... i think she had a great outlook of it all. ..
Excellent interview! Two interesting and down to earth women.
I agree! 👍
Oh my God, a normal reaction to this interview. Thank you for existing. We need more of you.
Ms. Zappa, genius stands on the shoulders of giants -and on the shoulders of their family. I know from personal experience. That said I can't help but appreciate your Dad's genius. I was one of the people that benefitted from it.
So, I'm going from Jennette McCurdy's book to hers. A lot of truth to face...
Thank you, Moon!
Listening to your interviews this week, Moon, made me think a lot about my own journey through mental health and trauma and trying to rewire my brain. I know how much work you must have done. I know how venerable you had to be to do all this. You're very brave. I'm going to read your book this week.
Everyone loves to drone on about their mental health crap. What a bunch of weaklings.
to re hard-wire the brain is very hard especially after your 40's...sadly
@@theoriginalsurferbob
settle down Beavis..
@@theoriginalsurferbob Wow, you're the same guy from the other thread? What an incredibly shocking coincidence. Surely your assessment of Frank's music can't be completely consistent with the emotional intelligence on display here. That would just be too convenient. Not to mention hilarious.
@@zorantaylor3190 On the other thread? You’re a bit behind, I’m on like 8 Frank threads now.
WOW, I can relate to so much said here. It's sad, yet at the same time comforting knowing I'm not alone, because growing up in this way can feel alone. This and even more when you feel like the only one because siblings act differently about it all and you're the "odd one or crazy one." About her dad, damn that hits real with me. I appreciate Moons honesty and think her book can also help others to know they are not alone. 💕 Also, being exposed to adult sexualized things as a child can ether go the way of being monogamous and a bit more reserved or it can make you hyper sexualized.
I've learned that many great artists/ achievers are a sort of savant/addict. It just happens their area of exceptionalism/addiction is something of which others find great value. Of course sadly this can mean most OTHER things in their lives are compromised.
Exactly. People who produce great things are not balanced.
@@genxx2724 For sure more often than typical. Not ALL the time.
Artists are actually more sociopathic than others. Don't meet your heroes.
Aptly put. I think father Frank had no protection filter for his kids. Stories I've heard and docs I've seen say growing up in the Laurel Canyon dwelling people were running around half naked a lot of time. Topless women. It's amazing none of Frank's kids turned out more bizarre than him.
When Moon and Dweezil Zappa were Mtv VJ's it was just the best because they were young and more relateable to a young teen than some 20/30/40yr old VJ. Moon always wore unique clothes and dresses, but they were both really cool and both Zappas played off each other real well. -and always laughing or saying something funny. Mtv was great back then, but the two Zappa kids were must watch Mtv.
The foreign movie Moon talks about at 39:57 is called "Dogtooth".
She single-handedly changed the way that American teenagers (and eventually everyone) spoke with one hit song. If you look at man on the street interviews before Valley Girl, and then after Valley Girl, it’s pretty obvious that the song completely changed the culture. I can’t wait to read her book. She and I are the same age, and had a lot of similar experiences.
As a guy roughly her age who's seen several interviews over the years I've always thought Moon was a super cool intelligent chic. Didn't know until now of her neglect. So sorry. I'd love to be her friend. I'll bet she is an awesome mom.
I grew up being 9 in 69 and listening to my older brothers "Mothers'"albums.Now I am immersed in understanding the many expressions,including CPTSD and all its sisters ,resulting from dynamic parent child relationships.Its more interesting than a Zappa record.We love ya Moon.
“Genius” at something doesn’t mean genius at everything; usually in such persons there’s a significant imbalance one way or another.
Two narcissists for parents...very sad. All the best to Moon.
Wow, what a callous, reductive insult to an extraordinarily insightful and moving interview. Reducing Frank and Gail's personalities to pure narcissism while borrowing the rhetorical styling of Donald Trump tweets is....a new one. Irony's eating good tonight.
Right you know it’s crazy when the kids are more mature than BOTH of the parents. 🤷🏼♀️
@@islandbirdw friends ran into Dweezle in LA years ago…he was a gent, showed them a good time.
Good observarion. I responded back on your behalf to the person who blasted you.I actually feel you are spot on.
Interesting channel, Paul.
Congratulations Moon and thank you Lyndsey. I need this book.
Not being flippant here. It all sounds exactly like a Laurel Canyon military experiment mind control aftermath scene. What an unfortunate continuing familial collateral damage story.
Liar
I think the film Moom was trying to remember is Dogtooth. It’s a Greek film
Wow, how brilliant “the collateral damage of genius.” Yes, thank you for articulating this so clearly.
There's two things that IMO one cannot truly understand Frank Zappa's relationship with his family without knowing.
The first and more obvious and acknowledged one is that Frank was the son of a straight-laced, serious and completely non-musical manufacturer of chemical warfare agents whose idea of having toys around for his son to play with was just never bothering to put away all the used, contaminated gas masks left over from work, and when he got old enough to wander further away from home, Frank was just walking around in the California desert with an acoustic guitar getting yelled at by people for playing it around them and for "looking weird".
The second is more unexpected, and I only really started to think deeply about it just as I was listening to this interview: Frank's one close friend growing up was Captain Beefheart. Young Don Van Vliet's childhood was the only one Frank really knew well enough to compare to his own, and it was the extreme opposite. Don's parents let him drop out of school after kindergarden and did nothing but laud and elevate his artistic pursuits. The eventual practical applications of his talent and the skills to survive a harsh and uncaring world were an afterthought, if the existence of these challenges were even acknowledged at all. Beefheart himself admitted in at least one interview I've heard that his vision for his own future, from the very beginning, largely revolved around making sure he could avoid certain things as completely as possible, educational and business institutions of any kind being chief among them. I have no doubt that Frank was jealous of the life that this much looser, more primitive sort of musical savant in the making got to live and desperately wanted a version of it for himself, but also got to see firsthand how that created its own set of problems when it's the FIRST thing a creative person ever learns to expect out of life, given how tumultuous and ultimately unsuccessful their later attempts to collaborate ended up being.
So I think Frank honestly believed that, in a perverse way, he was modelling the one valuable thing he truly knew how to for his kids by being a self-made savant, because at least that way he wasn't fostering a whole other kind of emotional dysfunction in them that he had concrete proof of the outcomes of. Zappa's relationship with Beefheart was an incredibly unlikely and extraordinary one, but it imploded for reasons that Zappa could undoubtedly trace directly back to a kind of overly indulgent parenting that he also simultaneously craved so deeply that he organized his adult family life around finally having a version of it for himself. All he really knew for sure was that having that later in life, after you've taken on the responsibility of making big decisions independently, seemed to be better for his sanity than Don's experience of the opposite dynamic was for him, and Frank just wanted to make the best of what he'd learned without having to sacrifice the extent to which his unbelievably prolific output was his own anxious coping mechanism, especially during the period where Moon was moving into young adulthood and he had cancer and very little time left to live.
I suspect a part of Frank really wanted to shift gears more in his last years, to be more intimate and less prolific. There's a 20-ish minute news piece, I think with Barbara Walters? 1992? It addresses his impending death right off the top, and the vibe of "a genius on his deathbed quietly realizing some of his own flaws and trying to soften up a bit but realizing it's too late" is so thick you could cut it it with a pair of zircon-encrusted tweezers. He even tries at the end to make us believe that he doesn't care about being remembered when he's gone, saying that's the kind of thing guys like Ronald Reagan would care about. It's so unconvincing it makes his acting in the Coneheads skit from the time when he hosted SNL look like Lawrence Olivier's Hamlet. It's really kind of heartbreaking.
Great observations. Thanks for this.
I salute you for this comment. A sound analysis.
uh, maybe he was just selfish where he had no reason to be
I can't say whether your assesment is correct or not. I agree with the first part of the your observations about the interview with Barbara Walters, but I *do* think he genuinely did not care if he was remembered or not. That part seemed utterly genuine to me. Not hard to imagine, as people often begin to let go of the world as they realize they're living their last days.
"I think Frank was always very envious of him, because Frank could never be as avant-garde, as far out as Beefheart." Jimmy Carl Black
What struck me hearing Moon talk, is Frank was always opposed to gov't. intervention in what kids had access to, or letting kids being exposed to all aspects of life, and yet Moon is saying she wished there was control of things she saw in the home, and things she was exposed to at so young of an age. Just goes to show how public perception of an individual can be so wrong. There was this perception that Frank, when appearing on TV shows, was raising the "perfect family", when in fact it was anything but. To hear about her mom's betrayal involving the will, I'm sure was a devastating blow to her. Moon would be an interesting person to talk to. She reminds me of Justine Bateman.
you can't win if he was strict probably she would write a book calling him tyranicall
@@clintstewart5545 Maybe. She criticized him for not having health insurance, but to me the guy was anti establishment, and probably didn't trust the medical industry. I didn't think that was odd at all, it fit with who he was in my opinion. I'd like to hear from the other siblings, and their opinion of the book.
@@oldhickory4686 well he did went to the doctors several times complain about a issue about peeing and he took them quiete some time to diagnosed his illness and he was already to late, he kind of was how he imagine him a guy just focus on work, I remember a interview him saying slept during the day worked during the night when he had peace at home, everyone literal everyone has childhood problems and bad family decisions, it's part of life no one was perfect, but his wife seemed a bit horrible kind of jealous type of women and manipulative I don't know
Cosmopolitan was another magazine that shouldn’t have been in a family household.
Fact!
I had a girlfriend who was into those womens magazines, so I looked thru some to see what she was into, geezus, writing was so ungrounded( imagine that) trying to normalize weird zero values to sell a "successful" Happy Hooker type lifestyle..
@@words4dyslexicon Now imagine being a little girl, adolescent, and teenager reading that magazine around the house because your mother buys it, and thinking what it says is OK because your mother buys it. Then you go out and start dating having been imprinted with the values in cosmopolitan. It’s a recipe for disaster.
Isn't it interesting that most of the legendary and iconic rock stars were born in the silent generation. From Chuck Berry, Elvis, John Lennon, Zappa to Blackmore, were all born into the "mind frame" of the late 1920s to the mid 1940s culture. My parents were born into that time period as well. I can relate to this also.
Genius or not, a person can choose to be a decent human being, especially to one’s family. Perhaps Frank and Gail both had personality disorders, or terrible upbringings themselves. Both sound like they were crappy parents, and Frank was a lousy husband. Peace and love to you, Moon.
Love on Moon. I’ve been working through a very different but similar situation which was only helped through Dr. Ramany’s work on triangulation in a narcissistic family. Moon is so grounded. I’ll read her book.
Fantastic interview!!! Thank you both!
Great interview, nice work. 👍
Just ordered your book. Thank you, Moon!🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
All people are flawed. Just to what degree! I was a big fan of Frank's, but these revelations do taint my feelings about him. Genius is a razors edge, such a fine line between that and the opposite.
I have seen a few of the interviews of Miss Moon, on this book "tour". This is the only one that she gets to complete a sentence, full explanation, with out being hurried.
I have always been in love with Moon and ofcours had an image of her life, WOW, was I wrong. I've always been impressed with her intelligence & believd she inherited it from Frank. She probably got the smart genes, but her," I have to go get more information on this, learn, learn, learn". I have also been curious as to how she never showed any fear or nerves any time she's performed or interviewed? Just as calm and cool as an ice sculpture. I relly want to read this book because I have always been blown away by how cute she is. I saw her w/Dweezil before, Valley Girl came out, 🥰 ever since. I'm a big FZ fan, so here's my dilemma, do I want to read about a hero of mine, musically ORR the lady I've been admiring (love) for so long? 🤔Shush, I'm thinkin', do I need to find out about how Frank came up with ,My guitar wants to kill your mother? Or how Miss Moon came through a mountain of Shite and was able to navigate with out a map.😎💡Guess I will be learning about the Lady I can never have !😮 😭 Also learn the disturbing truth about some other's.My love to Miss Moon, and Miss Lindsey, for the best interview/
Interviewer I've come across. Thank You💋
Parker Posey is my pick to play Moon in the movie version. She seems like a cool lady. I enjoyed the interview.
Got my copy as a present a couple of days ago. Moon is certainly a talented writer.
I bought Freak Out in grade school when it came out, by some weird higher direction, but my first disappointment with Frank early on was his attitude about women. I never stopped loving his beautiful melodies and constructions but his 'comedy' always seemed mean spirited sexism. I did think about Moon and wondered how the hell he came to where he ended up and didn't have a greater appreciation of women as individual spirit beings. It seemed a very short sighted notion of The Big Note.
There has never in human history been a good parent or an untraumatized child, only variations in detail and severity. Still, I, who am almost impossible to shock, was shocked when Gail said, in Zappa, "I married a composer" and did not know if that would pay off. It seemed cold, calculating, and a wee tad Machiavellian.
Does Lyndsey have a mirror over to her left? She seems to be really interested in her reflection, and possibly her hair at one point in the interview. If I was Moon, I think I'd wonder how invested she is in her conversation with me.
Hi there, this is an interesting comment so I will reply.
I did explicitly mention this to Moon, but perhaps you missed it, that I had another computer monitor to my left, on which I had all the MANY questions and copious notes I'd written after diving into her book. (I say this at 10:15 in this video.) So if you saw me glancing sideways, that was why. I absolutely was NOT ignoring this fascinating woman I'd done so much research on!
I just like to be prepared, plus often when a subject says something I remember I'd made a note about that specific subject, so I consult my notes. However, while this method (I write lots of notes/questions for all of my interviews and have them at the ready) works well for audio-only interviews, I supposed it can cause me to look like I'm distracted, so perhaps I should consider another method.
Anyway, that's one answer/explanation. As for the hair thing... ya got me, LOL.
I met Moon when she was a baby, in Venice Beach. Back then, I'm not sure if the majority of the people running around were conscious at all of what they were doing to their children. When she says " It's hard to give from a place of emptiness." what a beautiful statement. "Growing up with no hang ups," to me means someone is not being responsible. Men have been left to be predators in our culture that has no culture, and it has left many women traumatized, and deeply wounded, maybe we needed this to grow as a species, and for women to wake up and say NOPE. I'm glad she has the ability to speak out and be brave. I think I can empathize with her about parents who give you no structure, encouragement, or direction. My own family is so alienated from each other and are so untrusting. This is a major flaw in our christian culture, no mythology, were suppose to believe lie, and have no hope-except death.
Even their names were selfishness and narcissism on the part of their parents. It’s sad.
I had a traumatic and disturbing childhood too; but my father wasn’t famous so I’m not going to get paid to write my story.
@@pauldeveaux1517
settle down
Beavis..
@@genxx2724 No, Frank was right, and he said it many times - the last name is what could actually get them in trouble.
The Zappa family was the farthest thing from a 'Christian Culture'. Everything the parents did was the antithesis of Christian culture
Frank gave his advice to other parents in his book that I looked at in the bookstore, where he said, keep your kids as far away from Christianity and church as you can, etc. How'd that turn out? By their fruits... I feel for Moon and hope she finds the love and peace she missed growing up.
Great interview! Excited to read the book
Wow! Very in depth interview. Profound.