The Childcare Crisis - Why Parents Are Going Broke Raising Their Kids
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- Опубліковано 20 лют 2024
- Patrick Bet-David explains the crisis of childcare affordability in America and the shocking number of families impacted.
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Patrick Bet-David is the founder and CEO of Valuetainment Media. He is the author of the #1 Wall Street Journal Bestseller “Your Next Five Moves” (Simon & Schuster) and a father of 2 boys and 2 girls. He currently resides in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. - Розваги
Daycare was never meant to be normal. We need parents raising children for healthy emotional and moral development.
that would be true when people had lots of kids, but now 2 is all they have, 3 at max really. Kids need other kids around, they sync up and behave dramatically better. try and get a 3 year old to nap, they do it like robots at daycare. you do however need a good daycare with adults as staff, not 20 somethings that could care less.
Then let's just have a kids instead of placing children's to prisons plus nope you don't need 20 other toddlers on the same room to socialize the child but exactly opposite, so they can function and be friends with all other ages @@everss02
Totally agree. Normalized and unavoidable neglect.
There is nothing wrong with daycare. Kids benefit from being around other kids.
Don’t have kids if you can’t take care of them
My wife is a stay at home mom and home schools our kids.And I’m a truck driver making over 100000 a year.
Kinky
Simplest and best way right there.
Your smart for getting her to stay at home. That’s how it should be mom stays with children as much as possible
Stay safe my friend. I was an OTR driver for 2 yrs.
Same bro. I don’t send my wife off to serve another man so we can pay some illegal immigrant to raise our children. She stays home and homeschools our children.
This is why i never put my children in childcare. I'm not working to give my paycheck to someone else to raise my child. Thats not why i had my child. And it's not in the plans.
Exactly. My wife stays home and homeschools our kids. Glad to hear another reasonable person.
My 3 kids, never went to child care either. My wife, looked after other kids, at the same time. Was good, the kids liked it. Life was good.
Awesome! Same here!
🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
Amen 🙏🏽
My mother ran a home daycare for about 40 years. When she stopped at the age of 75 in 2010, she was charging $60.00 per week if you had one child and $100 for two. She fed them breakfast, lunch, dinner (if still there when we ate dinner) and a snack in the afternoon. You would not believe how many people would try to take advantage of her and not pay her weekly but when they wanted. People wanted to have their children taken care of for free.
The same with my mom. Her prices were so low and she actually prepared the children for Kindergarten. Most if not all her kids left advanced for kinder but, the parents would nickel and dime her for everything.
People who dump their little children to places like that don't love and don't want them. It's different for 3-4 hours to run errands or do small jobs but for whole day, come on!
Exactly! People expect perfect service quality for no money. Just look how aupair and housemaids are treated in the middle east
Hearing this hurts. Your mom was being very generous and for people to do that is sickening. People makes you want to hate them and there is not enough grace to forgive those kinds of people.
That is a very good rate, crazy to think people would still try to take advantage…a damn shame.
Raising ratios will lower quality. I work with 3 year olds everyday. 10 to 1 ratio that gives me 6 minutes an hour for each child 😳 but that’s not how it works out. The squeaky wheel gets the oil. I spend all day interacting with a few children while the quiet well behaved children get zero attention from me over a 10 hour day 😢 I refuse to care for babies because it’s gut wrenching. Caring for 4 babies at a time the only interaction those babies get is when they are getting a bottle or a diaper change. The rest of the time they are alone and crying. Watching a baby cry and struggle but I can’t do anything because I already have an infant in my lap is absolutely heartbreaking. High ratios are the number one reason daycare teachers quit the profession.
Yes you’re absolutely right! Parents are fooled by getting pictures of their happy kids kids playing with toys. But all caregiver can do is give a toy - take picture - send to parent - take the toy to another kid and repeat. Each parent think their kids is looked after but caregiver doesn’t have time for it at all. Only enough time to change diapers and create an illusion for parent so they don’t feel bad about leaving kids at daycare.
I have 22 month old twins and a 3 year old, and it breaks my heart when I tend to one and the others are crying 😢 i hate that I can’t help all of them at the same time!!
Yup. Child care should just refuse infant to toddler care if it's not profitable to provide not only due to regulations, but because of real limitations in care provision.
@@ke753reejand YOUR point is?? 🤔😟✌️🇨🇦
I work hard so my wife can stay home and homeschool our two daughters, it’s tough here in California but we decided to put our daughters first and learned to live within our means.
Same here. Our kids are worth the sacrifice.
Good for you! Your family will be blessed in the long run.
People know when ur kids are homeschooled
@@brokeboii4103what’s your point?
@@rebeccaoprea9917 I’ve gone to public school k-12 evry single time there was a homeschooled that would come in I could feel there energy….. I’m just saying take it how you want. Just make sure ur kid gets a lot of communication with other people in life since it’s gonna be stuck at home all day.
My wife and I both work from home and our daughter has been with us the whole time. When our daughter turned 2 and a half, we put her in daycare 3 days a week in the morning to socialize her more. She is miles ahead of the other kids in terms of speaking, potty training, knowing numbers, letter, shapes, colors etc. We are taking her out soon since she isnt learning anything new there. If you can, keep you kid home with you. Let them learn from adults instead of other kids.
Agreed. I have a great job with an Amazing company. And I'm lucky my daycare center is basically right downstairs. But I hate putting my baby in the hands of another all day just to work. So I'm looking into working from home.
When I meet daycare workers, they comment about how they know my kids stay home with me because of their "advanced" verbal abilities.
Not making a good case for their services.
My nephew is 2 and a half, his mom and dad work alternating shifts so that someone is always with him. He is SO ahead for his age because his parents are actively parenting and teaching him. They also limit the Ipad and make sure he reads, colors, and draws to keep his imagination flowing.
You are right, children learn better behaviors from their parents and not from other children ua-cam.com/video/YjLGWMwjn3s/v-deo.htmlsi=a3zmAksQr2OL_fCa
Could you tell me what your child does all day at home with you guys? I work from home and my wife is hybrid. When my wife went to work my daughter stayed with me for the first couple months. I was incredibly unproductive. In my role I manage a massive organization. I remember presenting a project on zoom and my daughter started screaming her head off. So outside of throwing them in front of the TV for the bulk of the day, what else are they doing?
When the day care is closed I’m off with my daughter because at one years old she demands a lot of attention. When I drop her off, I see her run to her little friends.
There are some bad childcare providers but when I pick up my daughter she’s incredibly happy and she is happy at drop off when she sees her teacher. But, I don’t think there is anything wrong with them being around kids.
My wife and I had to make a difficult decision about this. We decided to put off buying a house in order for my wife to stay home most of the week and homeschool our daughter. No daycare. It's cheaper for my wife to stay home at that point too.
Also I believe you know that your baby deserves a loving mother-- not a random ever changing array of workers who will ignore your defenseless child for a few dollars an hour.
That was honestly pretty dumb bro, rent is the biggest waste of money and a real estate is one of the best money makers
@Western-imperalism Not in the situation we have its not. There's more stuff going on, but currently with our mortgage approval our rate was 2100 a month for a 260,000 house. Mind you we live outside of cook county in Illinois so property taxes are horrible here. Rent is 1500, so we're finishing off our debt while providing a better school.
Wait, you already have a house and you want to buy another one.
Yea we’re doing kind of the same thing. Buying is looking tougher and tougher. Recently we’ve been seriously considering leaving the country.
Daycare is out of control! And what pisses me off here in Washington it’s free if you’re broke! So it incentivizes people not to get married so one partner can be under the income level, instead of including both household incomes!
Umm...no. I am super poor right now and it was not an incentive for me to have kids. Neither do I plan on staying poor. It's a help and I do appreciate it.
@@candyluna2929 I didn’t say it was an insensitive to have kids…I said it was an incentive not to get married. I’m with ya and glad you received support…I think DC is such a burden on families where usually both parents have to work. I think DC should be funded like schools and everyone has access. Just my opinion. But I’m with ya not against you.
Also choosing to be a single mother is really setting yourself and your kids up for poverty. For most people it was a choice to select a lousy mate that wasn’t going to marry and support and not leave. And having sex out of wedlock, knowing that all birth control has a failure rate, is another poor choice. It leaves taxpayers- fellow citizens also making 60K a year and trying to afford childcare for their own children - on the hook for higher taxes to pay for your childcare.
@@poppystars9005 Hi Poppy, join our Campaign for Childcare movement. DC is one of the places we are tackling.
Putting our 2-year old daughter in daycare was the worst decision ever. Even after selecting a top-rated facility with "college-educated" teachers who are professionally trained to deal with toddlers, we saw very little effort in child development. At $400 per week, our daughter was often left in the hands of a unqualified substitute, and we weren't getting what we signed up for. We made changes to live within our means, and my wife now works part-time so that we can be present and accountable for raising our child. Daycare is not the answer. Two parent households actively raising and loving their kids is a much better solution, while living within their means, is the American way.
Unfortunately children are struggling more than ever with behavioral issues and adding more children to each caregiver can be a recipe for disaster. Many daycares already really push that number.
Then I guess we just fizzle with the current market of childcare 🫠
Perhaps daycare is the reason for those issues in the first place.
ua-cam.com/video/YjLGWMwjn3s/v-deo.htmlsi=a3zmAksQr2OL_fCa
Daycare is exactly why we have behavioral issues ua-cam.com/video/YjLGWMwjn3s/v-deo.htmlsi=a3zmAksQr2OL_fCa
A lot of parents are not parenting their child to behave better. They just shove a screen in the child face to behave instead of instructing them. High quality daycares don't just shove a screen in a child's face if they misbehave.
That's why I made sure I married a good man who had a good stable job and wanted his wife to stay at home with children. I could never trust my baby with a stranger. Seams at least a few times a year there is some crazy disturbing story about child care centers. I'm glad I get to stay at home but honestly it would not be financially feasible for me to work with the cost of child care in rural Wisconsin
Bingo! If they're not randomly spanking them then someone is sexually abusing them. Is it really worth sending them to these places before they can adequately communicate their experiences for the day? I think not. Consider the following thought experiment, would you leave a suitcase of $1,000,000 for the care takers at a random daycare to watch for you? Of course, not. And your child is priceless.
Exactly! Nothing in life is guaranteed, but I didn’t have s8.x until I was married in my late 20s, and I married a good man who wanted me to stay home when we had kids. Some other comments are saying “must be nice” and it’s like - yeah no, I exercised self control, and waited for marriage so I made sure my kids were born in a safe and loving environment, and we sacrificed and lived in tiny apartments we could afford so that I could stay home.
And, they wonder why young folks aren't having kids these days...smh
I cut down on work hours. I do a better job raising my kids than a stranger. My family is happier for this. I plan to quit altogether in the future.
Back to traditional multi generational households. People will have to actually raise their kids instead of making it someone else's problem
I have been advocating this for years. The current state of the world will dictate this anyway. It's unavoidable.
Thats an un measurable metric that a lot of people overlook. Multiple generations of broken families has deprived children and parents of the invaluable care grandparents can provide.
This would be doable if people start families sooner in life. Waiting until 35 to start a family means the grandparents are also older and have less energy/health to participate in childbearing.
Go watch Alex Clark's great interview with Jefferson Bethke about restoring multigenerational living.
Maybe that is why Indians are so successful and have good family values. Many of them still believes in multigenerational households. When I visited India two years ago, everyone I met lived in a multigenerational household.
Parents aren’t going broke because of childcare. EVERYTHING IS UP. The natural median income provides literally nothing. People say “just go make more money”…the average man or woman cannot do that. This world or our nation or CA has priced its constituents out.
Exactly! I love PBD, but he comes across as out of touch sometimes, Jimmy Dore is my favorite person to watch.
Thanks for all the handouts and taxes
@@Naruto37887 He's rich. How the hell would he know how the other side lives? He has no clue. So tired of these conservative grifters telling us plebs how we should live as if all solutions are just that simple.
This right here! Exactly my and my wife story and we both work with only 1 kid! We're making ends meet but not without a budget.
Don’t tell Pat that you can’t make more lol… He’s always crying about raising the minimum wage.
I’m a SAHM, but I also worked in a childcare center for a year. I was mainly hired as office staff, but I was trained by state guidelines to help with the kids. Our center paid minimum wage and up to $10 for classroom teachers. I’m talking like $8-$10 per hour (back in 2017/2018). These teachers were dedicated, but barely compensated for keeping children safe and alive during the day. It was honestly shocking. The teachers also didn’t get paid sick days, which is obviously helpful since kids carry many germs. I totally get why people don’t want to work in childcare these days. The good childcare workers are finding better wages in restaurants, retail, etc.
Make the kids a priority. Stay home and raise great kids.
This is just horrible! Daycare should be every parent's LAST CHOICE! Especially an infant 😢
Mom or dad needs to sacrifice for this season in their life. We are raising people who have to compete with 4 other babies for love from 1 unrelated adult who is making $10 an hour. God save us!
4 to 1 is at the good places. Many are 6, 7, 8 to 1.
Some day care is like part time orphanage.
Must be nice to have such a cushy life that you can have that opinion.
Not everyone can do this!!!!
@@alecb3332 I live a far from "cushy" life. We've sacrificed a lot so I can stay home with my girls. I haven't bought new clothes or shoes for years. We live very tight budget. Paycheck to paycheck. But, my girls are thriving in ways other children are not. They are smart, healthy, and LOVED. And we're ahead of their peers in most milestones.
Stop the wars! Help the people!!!!!
Protect our allies and defend ourselves from authoritarian dictators... AND help the people!!!!!
When son and wife found out twins were coming they sold new home in Louiville and moved back Indiana.Their kids..3 went to aunts daycare where other grandma helped.We trade off weeks in summer.We can also do school pickup and help when kids sick.Best decision ever them coming back...
Go watch Alex Clark's great interview with Jefferson Bethke about restoring multigenerational living.
I’ve been blessed to be a stay at home mom for 13 years, but I’ve been having to pick up side hustles the last couple years, it takes away time from my kids and husband but it’s the only way to make ends meet and still have a little expendable money. Groceries are outrageous. We have land though. Honestly thinking about getting some cows and chickens & dropping the other side hustles. I’ll do just about anything tho besides leave my children in the hands of strangers 🤷🏻♀️
Not a bad idea. A good opportunity to teach the kids how to take care of their own lives and be somewhat self sufficient.
Get chickens. They are really easy. You will save money on similar quality eggs at the store. You could even potentially eat the chickens...
You could even sell excess eggs for feed costs...
Thank you for covering this. It needed to be said. The number of people I see who say either "it isn't that bad" or "that's what you signed up for when you had kids" blows my mind. Society needs a next generation. Families need help.
My husband and I make over $100k combined. There was a time I thought that we would have absolutely been crushing our financial goals when we hit that milestone. Now? In our community? It's solid middle class. We have next to no savings. Without family helping us in the baby years, I would have had to quit my job. Then we wouldn't be able to afford our home. So we'd move? Except no where is more affordable in our area now.
So we pray nothing catastrophic hits our family. We pay other people to spend time with our kids so we can work to afford to raise them. It's beyond frustrating.
Do you live in a blue, red, or purple state?
@TheSpringMood Florida. Getting more red but lots of blue strong holds.
Same, I feel your pain.
I live in the Midwest. I am raising 6 children on under 100 k. My husband works construction. We don't have anyone to help with childcare, which I never expected anyway. But it can be done. I know several other families that are doing the same thing we are. I don't regret leaving my job when my first was born.
@hopefulforhumanity5625
It's really awesome you're able to stay home and no doubt it is a huge blessing for your family.
That said, how far 100k goes depends a lot on where you live. You can't look at rural Kentucky and then Miami and think it is the same.
We only make that because we have 2 incomes.
Thanks to soaring homeowners insurance and car insurance and a bad economy in general, we'd be short every month. That's not even taking into consideration the fact I cover medical insurance for me and the kids. My husband's company isn't family-friendly in that regard. It'd be 30% of his pay... or more. His take-home pay would shrink significantly.
Then there's the whole "Florida has no state tax," which I know for a fact simply means employers pay people less here.
I'm from Indiana. I see what the market is there vs. here. Midwest is far more affordable. However, that state also decided to remove a child from their parents for political reasons. Then there is seasonal depression. I have no desire to endure months of darkness again. It impacted me terribly.
We'll keep our FL life and continue to work for a better situation.
PBD should have Dr. Erica Komisar on the pod. She is a psychoanalyst and researcher who teaches on the importance of mothers physically being there for their own children- versus sending them to childcare- particularly between the ages of 0-3.
This!!
Parents are going broke because of everything. This world we created is terrible.
I know right. And to be honest I cannot recall if PBD supports the conservative idea of having children for purpose and wellbeing matters. I been thinking about; considering all the ups and downs of having my first kid and to be honest, it doesn't seem like a good idea for now. Time, money, emotional strength are few of the investments needed to be made, and I don't think I have enough budget for those.
" we" lol
@@seanguzy9601 That “whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it”
@@ronniebray2857 Yeah and then the Constitution created a centralized federal authority that Says they can "call fourth the militia to quell insurrections." The Constitution is the antithesis of the Declaration of Independence. We need to deliver a similar document as the DoI to our government probably.
When theres no room left in hell the dead will walk anong us........ and work for the government
I’m not worried as much about the cost of day care like I am the people working in day care.
Okay, hear me out, but you probably shouldn't be paying for childcare. One of you should take care of your kids yourself, using the rest of the time to find coupons, produce home goods, and generally keep the family afloat by lowering costs to one income.
I agree with you 100%. Everyone bitches about childcare and how the job they’re working pays for the childcare. Why didn’t you just say that damn money and take care of your own kids. That’s what we did. It worked out great. Neither one of us made a bunch of money Realized doing daycare, and both of us working was equivalent to only one of us working and taking care of the kids. In fact, we came out on top doing it that way because the other was was able to find supplemental income from home. Not much but more than having a job and having to do daycare.
That’s why the mom stays home but they all wanna be Boss babes.🤣 society is going down the 🚽
@@Ap_twsh feminism is what has truly broken society. We don’t live in a patriarchy. This is an absolute matriarchy that we live in. No one just wants to take responsibility for this is what matriarchy looks like. Surprise surprise women don’t want to take responsibility for what they’ve done.
How I wish we could. We almost could have afforded it until we factored in Healthcare. The cost of adding a spouse is unreal.
Now we keep hoping every year that my husband makes enough so I can stay home. He manages a department and has had multiple promotions. Still hasn't been enough for me to quit. This economy is ridiculous.
Exactly! Women going to work to earn a little extra income morphed into families not being able make ends meet on three incomes.
This is sad to see. I feel very blessed to be able to work from home while my wife homeschools the kids.
I’m in that same boat. 👍
Same. My husband works from home while I homeschool. So grateful!
And props to you two for making the ultimate sacrifice for your families. 🙌
Here in London UK, my child’s nursery costs £2,400 a month! That’s close to $3,000 a month!
3 kids making 65K a year in Sacramento CA and my wife stays home raising our kids. We go to thrift stores eat out once a month for me and the wife. She learned how to make food from scratch have some backyard chickens and I have my checks as single no kids with 6 percent in 401K. We are thriving saving about 10K a year from tax returns and looking to buy next year. You can make it work but be humble we have no car payment basic phone plans and 2 year old phones. So many people live way beyond their means it baffles me hearing 2 incomes over 150K and they can’t make it.
On judgement day, God will judge us for what we did with what he gave us, NOT what we have in total. Well done my friend!
Same here! This year God willing we will be debt free and we can start saving. We live in Los Angeles and praise God I get to stay home with our kids but just like your wife I cook everything from scratch and find ways to save money on everything. Since me and the kids rarely leave the apartment we don’t need to spent much money on clothes and we wear hand me downs.
I was a daycare kid and it stunk. I hated it. Miserable.
Pat, in most states, Single mothers get free state subsidized childcare. The ones whom are suffering are middle class residents
Free? 😂😂😂
Yes free to them. You slow?
Yes they incentivize single mothers, since I live with my partner we get nothing and we are struggling bad.
@@rosaliebluestein1228 where I live they don't check if you live somewhere, so paying someone or being a not really living there roommate to use their address is a thing to circumvent those cohabilitation rule.
Not ALL single mothers get free childcare!!! Childcare is based upon how much you make!! If you make over a certain amount then you DON'T receive anything! The only women getting free childcare are those making poverty level wages or those lying about what they make somehow!
I REALLY wish ppl become more informed before spreading this foolishness!!!
Daycare is giving someone else the responsibility of raising your child. Mothers and fathers should be ashamed of that. My wife is a SAHM and she raises our children when I’m working, and when im not working im right there with her.
I'm a stay at home mama, and my husband works. We definitely sacrifice and struggle to make it work, but wouldnt have it any other way. We dont want, nor trust, anyone to do the job of taking care of our children.
Same. Keep it up, mama! ❤
As much as possible stop building your life AROUND THE SYSTEM! Or you will always be at the mercy of the system.
My husband and I have 2 children, 6 and 4. When childcare prices skyrocket, we don’t care because I stay home and care for our children.
We don’t have debt on anything ever except a fixed rate mortgage that we are aggressively paying off. So when interest rates skyrocket, WE DON’T CARE because we don’t need the system for loans.
We live in a conservative state. So when COVID happened, the shut down here only lasted two weeks and things pretty much went back to normal.
I’m not shaming anyone who is struggling, but rather giving examples as to how life doesn’t have to be as complicated as it is for most of society. The more ingrained in the system you are, the less control of your life you have.
I'm in TEXAS, I have a 1yr and a 3y old. Day care is $3000a month. They're closed on weekends all school holidays, public holidays and get the kids sick every week. Flu, cold, hand foot and mouth you name it. Then the parents get sick and we all stay home. No refunds.
Daycare should be expensive and used as a last resort.
$3K is the city day-care. If you live away from the city, you can get get daycare in people's home for much less ( cash only ).
A similar situation here in Russia. It's getting harder and more expensive to raise children. I have three kids. Yes, everything is much cheaper in Russia as mentioned by Mr Carlson, but salaries are much higher in America. So it kind of evens things out. I make twice the average in my country but it's still not enough to feel comfortable. I guess, it's a world problem. Still, shouldn't be this way. Hope it'll get better for all of us.
Hello, They are telling US that Russia has a higher divorce rate. Do you think that is true and if so why ?
@@eternalspring1034 Hi there! I'd say it's about the same. Around 40 percent get divorced. If I'm correct in the USA it's close to that. But I fear with woke propaganda less people would want to start a family. As for why. I think the financial aspect plays a big role.
@samu3824 Thank you for the insightful reply, sir.
@@eternalspring1034 Thank you for your question.
In 2020, when everyone was at their local city hall, and public school board meetings debating over masks, I was the weirdo begging City Council for help in early childhood and daycare centers, this was before the feds even started just trowing money around. After 9 years working in the industry I decided to leave a few months ago, the help never came, and childcare work is some of the most thnakless and underpaid jobs there are. Every year I worked in childcare I personally went into debt, I left when I was working a fulltime job, and two part-time jobs, and still couldn't afford to make ends meet. It also took a toll on my family, as I was always working, and never got to see my own kids.
I spent 4 years working on awareness, but no one listened.
We’re uprooting ourselves and moving to be near family so we can raise our kids right. Neither of us have traditional jobs, but we do both work & need a couple of hours a day to get things done… it’s impossible to find childcare here in North Carolina. I just want my momma & mother in law around & loving on my boy 😭
Parents need to be raising children. Not Daycare centers, babysitters, etc.
My wife and I both work and both of our work decisions revolved around being able to operate from home just to be present for our kids.
Pat I have been in the Childcare business for 40 years. I had my own home daycare for 25 years. I was licensed by the state. I could not make even $25,00 a year. Yet moms would pay me 1/2 their salary each week. Most moms work so they could provide health insurance for their family.
I went on to become a private Nanny.
Upping the number to 4 babies per childcare worker is not a safe or humane answer. It is NOT all about the money.
Unless I’m reading this wrong you’re a nanny and you make 25k a year ?
You’re getting screwed, my partners a nanny, and she wouldn’t accept anything less than triple that amount
@@mattcoorey2580 as I stated I was a Home daycare licensed many years ago. In reference to his comment about adding 1-2 babies. My point was about this not being safe or good for the babies. I could have handled an added toddler but 4 babies is NOT a smart idea. Also this amount was for daycare. I then went on to being a Nanny. Yes a nanny makes much more than $26,000 a year.
I always say I'm a part-time nurse (only work two days a week) full-time mommy hybrid. Thank God for "Grammy" daycare where i know she's loved, safe and getting one-on-one attention. Most of my friends with kids work opposite shifts as their partners or just stay home because daycare isn't affordable.
This is such a good break down. My state really cracked down on in home daycares. With two kids I was going to be $2500 a month and couldn’t afford it. I had to go work 2nd shift at my company and totally destroyed my career path. My wife would pull into the driveway from work and I’d head out to work. Barely made it into work on time. Did that for 4 years. Would’ve had more kids but literally no one anywhere would cut us a break. Not my work not my wife’s work. My work was honestly pretty hostile to me because I was one of the top go getting employees and I stopped doing any overtime or extra anything. I barely survived that time in my life.
You would’ve had MORE kids!? After reading your comment, glad you didn’t. Jeez.
Why should society cut y’all a break so you can just breed more?
@@dimsumhqHey maybe you’re right no one should be cut a break. But just a few years later during Covid I watched parents go on enhanced federal unemployment, pay no income tax on it by the way, and get their mortgage payments differed for years. Also watched businesses grab every dollar not nailed to floor from the PPP loans that were forgiven. So yeah idk. I worked hard and took care of my kids, I’m allowed to complain a little.
@@dimsumhqOur entire society has become ass-backwards with its incentive structures. We’re plunging towards Idiocracy in real time. We should want hard-working, intelligent, married people to have as many kids as possible for the good of society, because the single moms on welfare are continuing to pump out kids into broken families. And why wouldn’t they? They get a nice check for doing so.
It’s infuriating going to the grocery store and watching a single mom on welfare buy a basket full of nice food and luxury goods with her EBT card that’s nicer than what any stable middle-class family who earned their money honestly can afford right now. Our current society is set up to incentivize single motherhood and broken families and to make the traditional nuclear family as difficult to achieve as possible. LBJ was one of our worst presidents in history, and we all still suffering from his Great Society.
@@dimsumhqdo you want more future adults so someone can pay for your social program benefits or are you prepared to be fully self sufficient in your retirement years? Your comment leads me to believe you likely will be counting on social security and Medicare
I’m happy that they are spending more time with their mother / father / family members instead of daycare
Larger employers should provide the option on campus. Early in my career, the hospital I worked at had a daycare center and offered 12 hour day care for nurses which most daycare centers dont offer and had weekend care too, which daycare places dont offer either but nurses have to work holidays and weekends. Guess what they offered this because their employees missed less shifts because of childcare issues. We still paid for it, but it was awesome, but have not see it again for 20 years. Employers should get smart on this.
So the male employees should subsidize your lifestyle? This is just one of the reasons many men leave the corporate world. We, and the company, do not owe you. I’ve owned companies and reading you say this, I know you have not created jobs. Your idealisms are that of socialism. If you were the entrepreneur, you would not be offering this I promise you.
@@johncpa9196 you obviously did not understand what I wrote. Subsidize? No I did not even say that. I am sure they took an empty building on the campus and then opened a daycare that was employee friendly, that WE, the employee paid for, they just provided the site. It was not even special rates, comparable to other daycares. And excuse me men have children too. It is their issue too, because families have to figure out daycare together. It's not just on the mother to find daycare, maybe u are the problem, for making accusations instead of looking for solutions. I think companies especially large ones with strange hours it behooves them to find solutions to help employees and keep them happy, and yes help them financially by staff missing less shifts and making money with the daycare. I realize this is not a solution for small companies but large ones it could be.
@@johncpa9196 and guess what, the administration used that daycare too! But no discount or portion paid by anyone, full price paid by employee only
@@shelleys.4265 no, this did not exist when the workforce was mostly male. Yes, many of them are subsidized by the employer. It also hurts work productivity as people (mostly women) leave work on an ongoing basis to go play with their children. You cannot be effective at work and a good mom, the hype is not real. All of the women in my family, my wife included, stayed at home with the children. We are all successful and driven. You cannot now, nor ever will be able to compete with your average male counterparts, which is a cost to companies. Women employees, in large, with few exceptions, are a drain on companies which demand more benefits than their male counterparts. This is why many female small business owners prefer male employees.
My coworker was having their first baby, and the couple of day cares they were trying to get in had a 12-month wait list. Crazy.
40 years doing professional child care, i luckily sold in 2018. I kept costs low and paid my employees as well as i could. Dealing with the state was the worst. The head of the department of early learning in our state was a Gates executive. I wasn't allowed to care for children on state aid because i refused to join their indoctrination program.
Thank you for talking about this! I own a child care center. We pay really well for the industry and run an amazing center, but that also means we have to charge parents quite a bit to stay in business. The child care cliff has only just begun. I hear of new centers dropping out of the industry at least weekly. It’s high stress with low margins so owners are quitting left and right. Just wait until minimum wage is $50 per hour, as CA wants to do.
I worry about the high costs to parents and centers. I worry about kids that are being raised by tablets while their parents work from home. And I worry this will get much worse before it gets better. I meet frequently with other owners and directors from across the country to talk about these issues and come up with solutions. We’ve been trying to bring light to these issues for years. Thank you for talking about it and informing people of the industry challenges.
Its over for the future 😔
Beta mentality.
Instead of throwing money at immigrants and giving them tax breaks why not do that for child care to help people work. Isn't that what they want? People to work, why make it more difficult.
State laws have also screwed up child care by imposing all these education requirements and certifications on providers. That costs many $$$$.
The slow recovery is probably because people now realize how important raising their own kids is. It's a good thing
34 wife just had our first child, I got my vacestomy 2 months after. Life is business and we can’t afford no more than one child.
Thank you for wisdom sir!👏
These are the best PBD videos! Excellent content!
Thank you for raising awareness PBD
My wife owns a business and is an assistant instructor in the same field at a local school, averaging over $40/hr. And her third job is 2 days a week at $15/hr as an afterschool counselor so that we get free childcare for our two elementary aged children. I saw this problem coming and planned for it, thank God, but not many people can arrange for this
I am paying 1400$ a month for a daycare for my 7 month old. On top of 2300$ a month for rent. I have no hopes of ever buying a house or even having more then 1 kid.
Where is your husband? Is this a result of your bad decisions?
Great presentation Pat!
My wife and I both work full time. Collectively we make north of $160k annually. We bought our first home just last year @260k with an ARM mortgage for 5 years at 5% because the fixed rate was almost 8%....AND WE HAVE A 1 year old where we pay for daycare. Literally almost $20k a year just for the daycare service. Not accounting for all the other care to raise our daughter..... We make almost 200k a year but live like we're making half that if not less, because of buying power on normal good and service on top of cost of raising our 1 kid. Can't imagine if we had more.
This was an excellent YT video. Great insight
I quit my full-time job, got a decent part-time job. Spend quality time seeing my son grow. Dont miss paying 1200 a month for my son to be at a center where hes getting sick more than half the time with people that don't love him.
My parents looked into daycare before I was born. Both my parents were employed and with my Mom's job, after considering all costs they would be ahead just under $30 a month. Hardly worth working 40+ hours a week with travel time. This was in 1984. I'm sure it's even worse now.
Additionally, my Mom was having nightmares about me being abused, therefore she chose to change careers. I'm grateful for it. Many luxuries have to be sacrificed on one family income with kids, but it was worth it. Mom was always there when we needed her most.
I'm glad my parents chose not to export the raising of their children to someone who's only incentive to care about kids is monetary.
This problem has been around since government started regulating regular, home babysitting. Some stay at home moms used to watch several children in their home. For instance, the government in NC limited unlicensed day care in people’s homes to 2 (unrelated) children about 35 years ago. Shouldn’t it be up to the parents if they are willing to let their next-door-neighbor watch their 3 young children? Yes, maybe require things like child CPR and basic first aid, but beyond that is ridiculous and only serves businesses (who cannot even meet the demand). Also, we have created a terribly litigious society. If a child breaks their finger, though a common childhood event, parents want to sue. These are just some of the reasons why so many who would love to care for children, and would help alleviate the childcare issue in their homes do not.
64 year old disabled grandma taking care of 14 month old grand. It is painful. I wouldn't have it any other w a y. She is loved and advanced. Not continually sick and ignored.
In my house hold I grind to make all the money and my kids mother takes care of the kids and doesn’t work . The only way this works is if one parent can pull the financial weight for the entire family . Now I don’t have to worry about one stranger raising my kids until they get to the age to understand this crazy world enough to not believe everything they hear
Those state numbers really aren't representative of the true cost per child. Most children are close to urban areas, which are most expensive. I'm in Philly suburbs and we pay $1700/mo for our 11 month old daughter, which is over $20k a year. We are at one of the cheapest daycare in the area too. They go up to $2300/mo here for infant daycare.
Thank you… here in mass no better… average here in mass for daycare 230 to 5pm - $180 to $250 a week depending on your income which is just fucking insulting… it’s a racket
@anthonyd1306 my wife is from New England. She has many friends and family in MA. I know some are paying over $3k a month for daycare for 1 child. It's absurd.
Why are you dumping a child so young into day care?? Fix your life and dare to care about the harm you are doing.
@@rfehr613 I’m sure you’re wife is good people.. I love New England just gettin sick of the cold lol bout to be 40 gettin too old for the seasons lol… pay no mind to peoples opinions.. I am sure you would prefer NOT to have to rely on these services ..
Thanks. Yeah I would love to have the luxury of spending more time with my daughter, but the bills won't pay themselves. We only get 2 weeks paternity leave at my company (which is actually good for my industry). I took additional leave as well, but we still had to balance what we had between my wife and I (she gets 2 months). Plus we're going for #2 now, and we have to do IVF which is $25-30k a piece with no coverage by our insurance. So it's a massive financial investment all around.
Happy early birthday. I'll be 40 in June, so I'm right there with you.
I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. We would save money by buying a 2nd house and having someone live in it for free just to watch the kids. Daycare is $2k a month, current mortgage is $1,300 a month.
Your childcare is super high..wow
@@teresaellis895that's reg rate. I never even put my children in childcare because of it. A lot of these centers work on a sliding scale. Meaning they base how much they want you to pay off of your overall income and they always want over 50% of what we make. Not to mention that they don't even supply anything and many of these centers force the parents to bring in food and diapers for the children. Which btw, has to be shared with all the children and often times your child sits in its mess because they used your supplies on some other child whose parent claims they cannot afford to bring these supplies in for their own. While in the next sentence ask you to .... More like demand you to bring in more supplies... It's a total rip off.
Why don't you just support your own family and have your wife be a mother? It makes no sense. Time to be a man and quit salivating over your wife's paycheck. You are doing a TREMENDOUS disservice to your c=own children by having random strangers raise them.
Lol wut just have your wife stop working and raise your children. It’s not that deep.
@matshepherd118 That is what I did.On military base what childcare cost verses pay I stayed home.We never had a 2nd vehicle,we kept furniture even tho it never actually fit in New place every 3 years.We made do.Only vacation was to go Home on leave to see family...in 21 years!!I don't regret those years raising my kids.
I’ve been struggling. Had to leave work and it’s been hard. 😢 But I’m glad to be with baby.
Here's a novel idea, raise the kids you had! Learn what it means to sacrifice for the love you claim you have for your children! I've never regretted taking care of my own children! (No hate towards single parents!) Most people could afford for 1 parent to stay home if they weren't so charmed by the bells and whistles of life. New cars, thousand dollars phones, new clothes, expensive vacations, etc. Even in this economy, yes you can make it work! It's worth every sacrifice to keep your kids home and homeschool them too, public schools are glorified baby sitters teaching your children all things ungodly. The cost of strangers raising your children is much higher than the numbers!
I used to think this was true but in some areas of the country, rent and mortgage are too high post pandemic. Food has tripled in cost. A couple can be doing everything right, not materialistiv at all, but not be able to keep a roof over their head unless both work, and not realistically be able to afford to move to another cheaper state, also considering if they move they may not have other family members to help out. It’s a very different world now.
You are delusional. It takes my wife’s entire income to pay for our fkn rent!!!!! Mine barely gets us through the month. We have full time professional positions. It must be nice to live in your world
Didn't know it was this bad.
I like how you brought an issue with the solution.
I went to a private kindergarten in Japan a couple of decades ago. I had the best experience. I got a wholesome lunch everyday provided by the kindergarten and my parents paid about $300 per month. Even if the rates have doubled, that’s still “only” $600. American childcare rates are ridiculous.
This may be a rumor. Is it true in Japan, you are expected to work every single day with no days off?
Daycare prices are ridiculous. The student to teacher ratio is insane too. I feel bad for the kids and the teachers as well.
No one will take care of your kids better than you.
My husband and I alternate our schedules to watch our kids.
It’s a sacrifice but possible!
Find a job willing to account your schedule.
I had to quit my job to be a SAHM because we cant afford a daycare and family works also. Here soon ill have to go back to work part time to help with bills. Electric bills are killing us right now
Have you considered watching a friend's child to help cover your own costs? It could be a blessing to both of you. I did this for a short time so I could stay home with my children. It allowed my friend to have inexpensive one-on-one care for her infant and helped us in that season pay the bills 🙂
@nicomyth i thought about it but i live in the middle of no where. The closest grocery store is 20 minutes from me. And our family and friends live almost an hour away. It wouldnt be worth it for them to come out me sadly.
Thank you for bringing awareness to this! The cost of childcare is ridiculous! My state does not have Universal Pre-K, so you need to either pay for daycare or add their name to a lottery, and if there's room they call you randomly (this can take months). Conversely, early childhood educators (educators in daycare centers, Pre-K, and Kindergarten in my state) are getting paid minimum wage. Local centers are offering $11 to be a lead teacher at an early childhood center. There is a teacher shortage due to this, so they are willing to hire anyone with or without experience.
We don't take in account that it is not easy taking care of 4 or 5 babies at the time. Less quality of care because there is less time to spend per child. I stayed home with my 5. We realized that it would cost us more for me to work than to stay home and take care of my children. We sacrificed a lot with one income but I would not change a thing.
We had a kid last year. Childcare has been a real burden.
Great topoc
Lots of a great comments on here. While it's difficult and seem more reasonable to raise the kids at home, daycare also benefits the kids growth positively. That is of course if you find a good one. I think parents should do 2-3 day daycare and rest of the week at home.
Putting your kids in child care does more damage to the child then a stay at home parent. Canadas health system released a report that sending children into daycare as early as prek causes huge problems for the child whether its mental, attachment.
Yeah starting at 3 years old. The first 3 years of a child’s life is the most important emotionally and psychologically wise. There are studies that support this. Some parents just need to admit that they don’t want the responsibility of taking care of their child everyday.
Pat, you should’ve added/addressed the part where lower income people get assistance from the government to pay for daycare. They get subsidy, and they get A LOT of it. I believe about 60% of the cost is paid by the government
Therefore the cost increases by 60% for everyone. Just like tuition and medical costs. Once the gov't promised a certain amount, the prices went up to match.
He did mention it. The single moms part where he said they should use protection so tax payers don’t have to foot the bill for them. It’s hand in hand.
We homeschool our 8 kids at low cost on 1 income. No college nonsense. We encourage trade school & and self-employment.
I'm sure you sacrificed a lot. Most parents are selfish and unwilling to sacrifice for their own children.
Fantastic way of life! And God blessed you with many precious children! ❤
May I ask, do you live rurally?
@@marlonmoncrieffe0728 We started out in the city. Now we live on a farm out in the country.
That's cool, @@billyjean9484 .
May I ask, have you ever seen 'Captain Fantastic' (2016)?
Single father resulting on working fastfood third shift and taking care of my son day time. When I started making near 20 an hour my income was too high and they stopped giving me assistance for daycare. A big hold on my career but beats 300 a week, or more than half my check in other words
When my kids were in daycare it cost me $800 a month which was half my income for the month. It’s unreal.
Live in Minnesota it’s the same as mental health and adult care workers. Daily rates are not increasing for an adult or child resident by the state…but they are expecting business owners to spend more on workers
Tell me how that works?!
😮promoting better up!! Wasn’t expecting it on this page!
Deciding to stay home and homeschool has been the biggest money saving strategy for us. We’ve been fed a lie that two income families are better but my husband and I have seen the opposite. There are so many benefits for the kids and entire family that have no price tag attached to them but instead will have an impact for generations to come.
Each family has to do what’s best for them at the end of the day. It’s not all perfect but the positive sides outweigh the challenges for us.
I have a soon to be one year old. My husband and I both work from home and keep him out of daycare. It is not easy but the thought of him under someone else’s care is hard for me to absorb. I do want to find social opportunities for him though. This information is really helpful should the need for daycare come up.
I’m 25 , I will never be able to have children … I’m already struggling as a specialist in the army .
It's better the parents work from home and are present with their children. This has made homeschooling much more successful in my family.
Two things regarding this: one child care should be deductible and when my dad was in the military, we had MWR child care that was awesome and it allowed them both to work and maximize their income. Secondly as a business owner, I have toys and things to entertain kids while I run appointments with the parents after work. I have gotten clients when I am competition with someone else because I made both the parents and the kids feel comfortable or entertained.
How about this? We stop having kids because they’re so expensive to raise and most men don’t make enough to raise a family so women can stay home and care for their babies.
And Patrick, stop shaming those who don’t want kids because it’s not always about being selfish. It’s just so damn expensive!!
Right!
Our solution to this problem was that my wife started working for the daycare so we got a break as well as the salary
No one will ever care as much about your kids as you do (or at least should)...
Getting a slot is super hard in MD and we arent even that dark on that map. It is nuts
Patrick, I encourage you to have Erika Komisar on as a guest. She is a researcher and has been making the rounds recently speaking on the research that shows the damage that daycare causes children. Raising the ratio is so dangerous for the emotional wellbeing of both children and staff. Picture having to feed, soothe, and care for the needs of 3 infants simultaneously. That alone is impossible.
Thank God for grandparents.
It shouldn't fall to the grandparents to raise our kids. We need to fix society.
When my son (my oldest) was born in 2010, the cost was actually about parity for my wife to continue working vs quitting her job and be a stay at home mom. Day care plus her income taxes and commute expenses plus other misc expenses was only a couple thousand different than her just quitting her job and staying at home. At first she struggled but after she got over the initial shock to the system (not going to work anymore) she found other things to do, volunteering at church, volunteering at schools, etc. We lost a couple thousand dollars a year of monetary value but the benefit of our kids not being influenced by crazy people is valuable off the charts.
I can’t even imagine that so many are being gouged on childcare. My wife and I do well and still struggle with the cost of living even without having to pay for childcare.
My 5 advice to all the guys out there.
1. Commit to a relationship or marriage.
2. Dont waste time nurturing bad relationship & if u in one wrap up or make sure she on the pill or get that morning after.
3. Its cheaper to keep her than to run around dont leave it up to child support or living in different housing thats a split income with no vision for a future.
4. Dont be afraid to carry the household as a single provider while spouse stay at home . Between the overtime and bills it is worth it knowing you child is taken care of.
5. Invest in family and if you don't have one move closer and if you dont like them invest in a support system like a church or any type of entity that will helps you.