I read Steve Harvey's dating book for women, mom can you come pick me up?
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- Опубліковано 25 чер 2024
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Steve is one of those guys that views the way he was socialized as a biological reality of the sexes.
Yes!! This is such a succinct way to put it.
Yes, and he keeps regurgitating this thinking he's helping when he's just perpetuating what doesn't work. This is why people need therapy instead of Steve Harvey, INCLUDING Steve Harvey. 🤦♀️
Yes! And this is the worse kind of person let’s be honest
I'm having a hard time imagining a woman who would think to herself, "My love life isn't what I want it to be. I wonder what game show host Steve Harvey has to say on the subject..."
Well apparently a lot of women call into his show for advice! He's established himself as having a tough-love, no-nonsense reputation.
@@AnaPsychology He may say what he thinks, but it's definitely not "no-nonsense". He says some of the dumbest things regarding relationships.
@AnaPsychology Ana, I think you hand out no-nonsense advice. That doesn't mean I'd start taking car repair advice from you.
@@AnaPsychologyGus Johnson's video on Steve Harvey really shined a light on how awful many of his beliefs are. Like how he thinks all non-Christians are basically evil. He's a fun personality and I feel like he gets away with a lot because of that fact alone.
It was an extremely popular book in the AA community.
This reminds me of something my professor shared with my class. He said that you should never use the word “all” when claiming something. Like “all people do this or that” it’s very easily confirmed false, all you need to do is to find one person who isn’t doing it. For example “all men like chocolate” go find one man who doesn’t like chocolate. Just like that the claim is immediately proved to be false. You should instead use “some” or “the majority of”.
This is a very good principle to go by.
I wish more people went by this. Way too often generalizations ruin discussion because people are so willing to say "all" when it's convenient for them to but then be nuanced when it isn't convenient for them.
Pure logistics, I like it.
I agree, but even saying "the majority" can be disproven or misleading. I usually stay on the safe side with phrases like: "In my impression many (or few) x do y..."
didn't he cheat on his wife 💀
and he probably told her the cookie wasnt good enough and its her fault
Maybe she didn't give him the cookie for over a month.
All of them
Which ex?
@@chaoskhaos5061 whoever calls a vagina a “cookie” is weird Af.
"Steve there are plenty of ways to relive your stress" got me 😂
steve harvey dating advice for women is crazy lol
😭
Taking any kind of relationship advice from Steve Harvey is like taking gun safety advice from Alec Baldwin... Katharine Hepburn springs to mind when she said the following: "Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get - only with what you are expecting to give - which is everything."
It sounds like he wrote the book for men, not women.
Expecting scientifically valid claims backed by peer-reviewed research from TV host Steve Harvey was quite a bold expectation
I agree I think shes taking him way too seriously her video was a critique I guess she doesn't understabd his humor or personality
Yeah for real.
Always got the worst vibes from him.
hes gross
Thank you for doing this... because he had the black community in a chokehold with this rhetoric for years. He caters to a subset of my community that are Christian, annoyingly conservative, desperately, and rigidly adherent to outdated binary gender norms to satiate their self-worth.
Yes, it was indeed a....strange time in the black community. I was shocked at how many of us took him and Tyler Perry seriously on relationship matters
Steve Harvey’s wife must be so happy
It’s interesting, in regards to men needing sex and if you don’t give him sex he will cheat type of mindset… at first when Ana was taking the stance against this mindset it created fear inside me. Because, I’m so afraid that this is true and I would be cheated on if I don’t give sex to the man I’m with… but, when I thought about it, my life experience proves otherwise.
Growing up, my mom taught me this narrative that I had to give the man I’m with sex, otherwise he will cheat on me.
I got married very young, and the guy I married was so disinterested in me sexually, that I felt rejected all the time. I wanted to connect with him sexually and he didn’t want to. We had sex like 2 to 3 times a month, and that was just not enough for me, but it was apparently enough for him.
I felt so unloved and rejected the whole relationship.
Well we divorced, and a year later, I met a man who loved having sex from me. We literally had sex 3 to 5 times a day. I didn’t wanna have sex that much, but I was doing it whenever he wanted it because I didn’t want him to cheat on me so I thought I will just give him sex whenever he wants and it’ll all be good.
Well, 8 months into the relationship, after months of anxiety and chaos, I finally saw his phone and saw he was cheating on me with over 20 women. He was a serial cheater. I don’t even understand how he was able to have sex and hook up with these women while I was providing that much sex for him. But he was doing that.
So long story short, Ana’s perspective is right and Steve Harvey’s perspective is wrong. If a man loves you in a healthy way, he is not going to go out and cheat on you because he’s not getting enough sex in the relationship.
I do think that you both need to be sexually compatible, wanting sex the same amount, but if you deny your partner sex a few times, that is not going to make him cheat on you.
If you are sexually incompatible, and either the woman or the man is being denied sex continuously, sort of like I was being denied sex in my first relationship that I described, you shouldn’t be in that relationship to begin with. So the relationship should just end if that aspect is that important to you.
"Men and women share 99.9% of our genetic code. We have the same the same organ systems: cardiovascular, respiratory, digestive, nervous, muscular skeleton, we have the same skin, muscles, organs, we have the same structures of the brain, the same neural networks, the same functionality, the same neural transmitters. The only differences between men and women really that we have is in one of the chromosomes, our reproductive organs, our hormone makeup, and certain aspects of the way the brain works. Men and women are far more similar than we ware different." *standing ovation* 🧡👏What a joy of a video! I always love it when you cover topics about men and women and how similar we truly are. As a man, I find the kinds of stereotypes Steve Harvey expresses misery-inducing when you actually believe them, I used to believe some of them, particularly as a teen, and was torn, wanting to have a relationship one day but not wanting to have it on the terms handed to me by the "inspirational" talks and books in my life. Thankfully, those beliefs were gone before I ever got into a relationship, in part due to UA-cam: seeing women just be themselves and not the way you were taught to see them is powerful. I'm glad the world is moving on from the stereotypes you listed. They are not only harmful they are deeply untrue. Cheers!
In academia, if you jumped to conclusions as quickly as Steve Harvey does based on a few studies, you’d be laughed off the stage.
how did you even read this.. I am halfway through your video and so incredibly annoyed with his ignorance. what are his credentials other than being a reality tv host? he really is just telling on himself, feel sorry for the women who have ever crossed paths with him. I love your take though, wish he/any man who thinks like this could hear and understand it.
I never DNF a book unfortunately
Dating advice is so rife with gross generalizations or empty platitudes that I kind of think it's all junk. "Put yourself out there" is basically the only viable advice imo.
totally and it will actually yield you results in your relationships. Its also pretty gender neutral advice
Most dating advice is completely useless and you can achieve more just by going out and socializing with people on a few different occasions than watching 100 videos about dating advice. The advice doesn’t do much because it’s too specific and not about building a good life where you can meet people and ultimately end up finding a partner in the first place. It’s like misidentifying symptom vs cause.
NOT THE COOKIE
Steve Harvey did it all for the nookie
His weird smile suddenly feels a lot different...
Gus Johnson's videos on Steve Harvey really shine a light on hiw awful many of Steve's beliefs are. He gets away with his sexism and bigotry because of his personality imho.
careful w gus’ content. he abused sabrina really badly
@@zna9297 Hey, if we want to be nuanced and smart, you can still have a good take and do something bad 😂 Everybody does bad things, sure, some worse than others, but that’s separate from most things.
You should watch the movies he funded/produced to promote the book lol
I honestly might
He has a very unimaginative perspective on the gender divide, and one that's highly resistant to the influence of evidence
The title of the book... "Act like a lady" meaning act like the male gaze wants you to be "think like a male" and think like we men want you to think. Haven't seen the video yet, might be wrong but thats what came to myind 🙄
I have a friend who often quoted what Steve Harvey says. Hasn't done it recently, but the confident absolutist mentality is something they share in common.
I can’t believe the cookie part….ew.
Great breakdown
Love this!!! We need more factual information out there to change the narrative, I feel like people generalize sex/gender way too much… humans are so complex yet so similar and creating these ideas of ‘all men’ and ‘all women’ is so ignorant
I totally agree and love the way you put it ❤, I’ve always been inclined to see people through the lens of well people first gender after.
We just saw Steve Harvey get ripped off hard by his wife and accountant. No man that respects himself take Steve seriously either
Have you read Britney Spears' book? I'm curious what your thoughts are on her experience.
"Ew!" to the advice in that book! I agree with you Ana, there are many more similarities because both men and women are human. Speaking gender-normatively women also profess, provide - like they may be the main cook providing food and provide a clean and sanitary environment for their family - and protect (like a mama bear). That book is not well-researched and male blame-shifting onto women and justifies rape culture (the cookie). Also, we chose the bear in the woods.
It might not be a good idea to take relationship advice from a man who has been married 3 times and divorced twice. He also has 7 kids.
I would love a video that goes into research behind traditional gender roles. Is there any conclusive evidence that there is a biological component? Is there evidence that disproves it?
Eugh 🤢 brother eugh🫸 Steve Harvey is a cheater. I can’t take him seriously
I wonder if he still thinks this way. Thank you for your very insightful review!
Teal Swan is a woman who somewhat did this. She made videos entitled "what every man whould know about women" and "what every woman should know about men". She is vilified for things other than that, though.
Teal Swan is kind of a wild rabbit hole of a person, with all due respect to her.
I would fine it interesting if Ana analyzises Teal Swan actually
teal swan is a cult leader
She's definitely very culty
I remember reading this book and the discussions it caused 10+ years ago. It's different reading it in my teens vs 30s. There are pros and cons with the book. Take the good, leave the bad, learn from the hypocrisy.
Doesn’t he take a page out of the Pence-playbook and not have friendships with members of the opposite sex? Saying men and women can’t be friends is a massive red flag
I looove your calm unbiased data driven responses to modern bullshit 💕 its like a balm to my soul
Lol. I knew someone who was gifted this book and their female family members. I skimmed through a few pages and chucked it straight to the trash and told them how it really was. Males attempting to normalize objectifying women like a prizes trophy to be possessed and under this will is endlessly sad. That's why I tell women to avoid those books, because hands down it will without fail ALWAYS mention how "men NEED (said cookie)". No the fuck they don't. They can survive like everyone else who's died a virgin. The only thing I disagree on this video is the idea that it's ok for a woman to "need" a man. Enjoy company? Sure, but no one "needs" anyone. I personally think it's healthy to late your male boyfriend/whatever the relationship status is know that you are with them because it is a choice of comfort, not because it is a need. Unfortunately, dudes only see this as weakness to put them more in charge by. Men are supposed to be family caretakers and leaders and all that, but the reason why it seldom ever happens is because they precisely choose not to, and it's no one else fault but their own. Overall, I did appreciate the callout video.
I knew the book was 💩. I read it when I was younger and didn't think anything of it, but as an adult, it left a bad taste in my mouth and I couldn't continue.
It’s so weird to me how men have such a low view of themselves and other men and just accept that. I know they can be better than what Steve Harvey said.
I hope his wife is okay
The cookie part☠️
Your videos and topics continue to get more and more interesting! Thanks!
I physically RECOILED at how he talked about the 🍪🤮
The movie based on rhis book was hilarious. A fun time
Some women do the analogous. Teal Swann for example.
You're so much better than me: I'd have closed the book at "men species" and thrown it into the bin - hahhahah! Thanks for pushing through and giving us this review, Dr. Anna! ❤
I loved this entire video, I definitely agree with pretty much everything you said ❤. You expressed a lot of feelings I have but even better and included examples which I really appreciate. Thank you for this breakdown and the effort you put into it.
This is non fiction but it sure feels like a character development arc where he tries to say what he thinks he needs to say but his own judgement kicks in later in the book, the parts related to the cookie were devastatingly cringe tho 💀
8:42 - 9:48 GIRL YOU ATE DURING THIS PART. (You always do but like, with emphasis at that part)
Is anyone actually taking a comedian like Steve seriously when looking for dating advice?
Ooooh this is gonna be good!
I have almost the opposite feelings on Steve Harvey compared to Anna. In interviews I got the sense he did uphold a lot of sexist attitudes. The approachable tone of your critiques was 👌with some great examples like with willpower ( and men’s ability to be astronauts and doctors)
Having read this book about 10 years ago is one of the reasons I realised I'm non binary 😅
Dr. Ana what are your thoughts and opinion about evolutionary psychology and red pill? Thanx.
I'd love to hear your thoughts on the male loneliness epidemic happening or is it just a myth.
Almost everything happens on the internet is a myth 😊
Loved the video
Interesting video again. Psychological expertice mixed with book is a good combination^^
The editing out "bad" words is really annoying and distracting to me though. If it's needed for the algorithm, I suggest avoiding the words or replacing them instead of making the audio equivalent of a jumpcut mid word.
This is a good book for relations among inmates 😅 Predators are from Mars, Pork Chops are from Venus?
I read the book because he wouldn't stop talking about it & so I was curious . I found it to be basic & I couldn't finish it. It's most definitely overhyped!! I didn't care for it
Anyone who is impressed by that book might not be the most intelligent person...
Thank you for this video! It picks apart everything I always hated about that book.
The movie is actually entertaining though
I'm sure, it seems like the kind of thing I'd watch for fun
I love this video haha
Steve harvey is crazy he is a narc I am sure. I like your channel because as a man it makes me understand things about myself. Thanks
11:00 have you considered that asking for something does not imply a right to get what you want?
I have & read this Steve Harvey book 📖 I find it useful entertaining & to the point eye opening
How do you explain observations that baby boys more often reach towards things and are fascinated by things and baby girls reach towards faces and are fascinated by faces, interactions and expressions?
Lol, no thats just a social construct.
Good video
16:13 🤦🏻♀️ 🤦🏻♀️ 🤦🏻♀️
I mean, there are guys like that, but you cannot place the whole male population there.
I feel like the word "emasculate/emasculation" is a word used to mean something else. Uncomfortable, flustered, disappointed? Idk
My ex boyfriend used to say that he understood women. He said that all women want to feel the “three ‘s’s”: safe, special, and sexy. First of all, I have NEVER wanted to feel the last one and secondly, I’m not sure I’ve met a man who doesn’t want to feel those. 🙄🙄🙄
Why would you not want to feel sexy?
@@The-Oneness11 I just don’t. The idea feels very uncomfortable.
Never did i think id see you reviewing Steve Harvey but here we are😂😭😭
17:49 best refference! XD
The cookie part made my entire body cringe.
His way of talking about it is very cringe.
Its also the case that some people have higher sex drives and others have lower sex drives, and if a person's needs aren't getting met in a healthy way then the tendency is to get it met in less healthy ways.
😂 SH should not have written that…
🙈 I enjoyed this book 😂
Ok but who did Lori learn from then???
I never take anything Steve has to say seriously. He says too many ridiculous, sexist, contradicting things that I just throw the baby out with the bathwater on him. Also we have to consider the audience he's writing for which is mostly the black, American, religous community which is fraught with sexist roles and dogmatic beliefs that are inherently contradictory and cannot be questioned. I've found alot of black men giving dating advice for women is mostly for black religious women. They dont turn to science or reserach backed facts, they just use the bible and anectodal evidence from their clients they've coached to find love. If 1950's tradition and religion is what you want in a lifetime partnership, theyre youre people, but for the rest of us, it's garbage. You're 1000x's better at real, stable, healthy relationship advice. ❤
Steve is more about the stereotypical sex driven barbariac thinking of dating not nessarily an academic understanding of gender or dating or relationships or how both sexes can be different and have variation.
Steve Harvey is fluent in yapanese.. just rolls with wild off base claims 😂
I already knew Steve Harvey and I didn't have much in common, but holy sh...
This book is just one big self report. Bro really cannot be trusted around women.
Steve's book is a collection of barbershop knowledge with a tinge of toxic masculinity dripped in for good measure.
I try to not watch Steve Harvey. That kind of advice gets worse and worse the deeper you into the manosphere. I desperately wish Steve would just stop… but it doesn’t. It just gets worse.
THANK YOU. i hate this book.
I love how Ana uses her husband, a rarity among rarities, as a normal barometer for men lol
Idk I actually relate to the experience of her husband she describes in regards to my current relationship (and some past ones). 🤔
As a man I wanted to agree with this but the cheating stuff is pretty bad lmao
❤
Wow incredibly boomer and incredibly toxic book, I am speechless.
I bought that book maybe two years ago and I couldn't finish. Just a boring, useless cluster of clichés.
Hey this was an interesting video. If you would want to do a similar one there is a channel called hoe_math that shares his ideology on dating. He makes his point clear using cute doodles and you can get his entire ideology in under an hour. It’s definitely better than Steve’s
You’re expecting too much nuance from a comedian.
Why did you read this?? What was the reason? You definitely had better things to do with your time. You could've watched paint dry..😂.
I'm always on the lookout for relationship books to inspire topics I can explore on this channel. In the end, hey I was right about that 🤷
Steve Harvey is like a demon lmao
yea
I'm not sure you understand men's issues very much.
Steve harvey seems a psychopath. Can you do an indepth video about psychopathy, including the fact they are HIGH in empathy (and low in sympathy/remorse)? Thanks!!
That is cognitive empathy. A different thing.
@@lanal9330 it's still empathy though. this is actually the one fact that helps my cognitive dissonance about people who have treated me badly disappear. just knowing someone can know what theyre doing is wrong and do it anyway because of cognitive empathy is quite calming for my mind.
@@scorpionic-night There's a big difference between knowing that being stabbed with a knife hurts, and actually being capable of feeling the pain (not the best exemple, I know, but I hope you can still see the difference).
Get the tea ready for this one! 🫖
Great video thank you so much!!🩷 I’d love to see a video on racism!
❤