Love Alone isn’t Enough: 5 Lessons on Intercultural Dating | Rezia Usman | TEDxWoosongUniversity
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- Опубліковано 13 тра 2021
- My boyfriend's family wants me to do things that I'm not comfortable with. My girlfriend always wants more couple pictures on social media. My partner constantly feels weird when I show affection in public.
Being in a relationship with someone from a different culture is not for the faint-hearted because love is just one aspect of the union. When couples of similar cultures can simply dive into feelings, there are so much more realms and layers to navigate through when the person you love doesn't share the same background as you. Before things get tough, are there ways to anticipate the gaps between you two?
Rezia Usman is a life-long learner and educator for life from Indonesia. As she developed a curiosity in seeing the world through the lens of education, she also picks up interests in the dynamic of interactions between cultures. For that, she's always striving to be a global citizen through teaching and any activities with students of different cultural backgrounds. With her multicultural experience combined with having lived in the US and South Korea, she is the most enthusiastic in education in multicultural settings. Her professional experience and enthusiasm revolve around Communication and Debate, and she is also a public speaking aficionado. Rezia is a two-time TEDx event curator in South Korea and currently part of the International Relations team at Woosong University. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
Mixed marriage, 3 years together, married, 1 child. We've lived together for 2 and a half years. Indian and caucasian agnostic. Couldn't be happier. ❤
Learned a great deal of a lesson... Thanks Rezia, well done!
I’ve been struggling with dating and finding a partner for like 2 years now. It’s really difficult if you’re someone who has a complicated cultural background. I feel like no one can understand me. And as a man, the dating scene in the West is just so confusing and difficult. I’m afraid that I won’t find a partner before I graduate which is terrifying and makes me genuinely depressed.
It’s very difficult to date for ethnic minorities nowadays because of cultural conflicts. Love is nothing like what they show in movies.
Hi Rezia, it's so impressive and touching speech!
I just ended my multi cultural relationship of years.
It felt like I couldn't talk to them or be myself due to all of the differences and we didn't have a lot in common.
I wanted it to work out so it was a lot of pain but I've realized I'm not brave enough for the discomforts of a multicultural relationship, I treasure security much more.
How are you doing now? Mine ended aswell :(
I’m in one on the way out. My partner is the one who thinks he feel the same way as you. I can’t say I blame him, but it also sucks a lot, because I’m the one who would need to change the most, and yet it doesn’t matter if I’m willing to or not. The very faith in the future is shaken by not having the same culture to begin with
I feel all your pain, I'm in a multicultural relationship and I'm having major doubts. We are planning on marrying but I'm terrified I'll be miserable. It's really hard being in this relationship
Can I ask what nationalities you and your partners were and what were the major barriers
Same it has been a constant struggle trying to keep hope for the future.
Well done Rezia... well explained 😊
Great presentation
A great piece of advice that you wrapped in a nice and touching speech. Should we use it during the OT? If I were a young wonderer I would love to listen to smth like this before diving into a dating world )))
This is so good
Great talk
Rezia....extraordinary wonderful speech !
I am very very proud of you !
I feel so blessed to have seen your great performance !
The MARGIE SCHOOL in Surabaya is very very proud of you !
May God bless you always !
Lots and lots of ❤ from all of us : The Margie School Family in Surabaya !
Fantastic talk, but oh so quiet. Needs a volume boost.
I have been with my husband for seven years. I have two children from two different men. My husband is Nepali and I am Mexican American. the mix of culture is not as bad as I thought it would be. It is just the way his parents don't know out us. we have been married for two of these seven years. I know he could face being disowned by his parents. I am so lost on what to do. If his parents dont want to meet me, I will be devastated.
I've been with my wife 16 years now. I have to say her mother is the sweetest. she does not try to impose, but gives advices. there was a time when my wife wanted to work. I remember my parents asking. and my dad said no, your not going to work. like he was in charge of the situation. but I'm not married to my parents. my mom was always stay at home. and they didn't approve. I told my wife if you think you can handle then do it. I'm Irish German American and she is indigenous/ peruvian. the worst was when my wife was pregnant and my mom said she's going to take off now with the baby. it does not matter what either of the parents think of your relationship.
He is a simp to involve with a women with children from two different men, I hope he wise up and leave
@@elysium76 you know nothing about meaningful relationships or love
As a Nepali myself, I understand the struggle of your relationship. It is not easy for south Asian families to let go of the tradition of having their children marry someone outside their culture. They are afraid that the woman would leave their son. That you will crush his heart one day. The thing is Nepali families don't have such a high breakup and divorce rate because we learn at an early age that sometimes it's better to tolerate each other then fight till the end of the relationship. But that doesn't guarantee you will be happy. Neither does it say that you won't find someone outside your culture who will stick till the end but in a happy and positive way. There is no guarantee you will be happy with a Nepali wife nor is there a guarantee of being unhappy and fall into divorce with a non-Nepali wife... this is my current struggle and I don't know what to do about it. What I can say to you is, if you are deeply committed to him and will stay by his side no matter what, he will alwayse have your back. Even against his own parents but only if he feels like you are truly committed...
chukahamnda...🤗🤗🤗😋😋😋chotha sista😀😀😀
I don't know about this. The her father just sounds like a traditional Indian parent. If he married another Indian he might have done exactly the same thing. Although yes it was probably done from a place of love.
Ffddbd
That’s totally not about culture but about compatibility and attachment style. Time wasted on this talk.
Maybe if you read the talk title first, you wouldn't waste time. It literally says lessons about intercultural dating. Lessons can be anything, not just culture.
I agree. I felt like the challenge was mostly communication style and not about culture
Well written critical analysis of the video, thank you.