Trans guy here, Just passed six months after getting top surgery and Its amazing the improvement in quality of life! Congrats on your journey, thank you for being brave enough to share! You are helping so many people by doing so.
I watched this and immediately sent it to my niece. She very recently started on HRT/blockers and I'm just so friggin proud of her! This is such an incredible video, thank you for sharing so, so much ❤ trans people are valid, important, amazing and LOVED ❤
I'm a cis lesbian woman and found your video utterly captivating. Thank you for sharing the details of your HRT journey. Like many of the other commenters, I also love seeing you so happy with yourself. What a gift to give yourself and others.
this video marks six months since I've been watching your videos: along with your passion for books it's been awesome to see the changes and how they make you sound and look happier every time, so congratulations on your inspiring search for happiness ! 🥰🌹
I'm trans, but not on HRT as of yet...and tbh, it terrifies me. But your video is very reassuring, so thank you. Your enthusiasm and clear happiness is encouraging! ❤
It’s a scary step to take; I don’t think enough trans people say that. But speaking as someone with almost crippling health anxiety, I’m still so much happier on HRT :)
Thank you so much for sharing! I'm a trans man from a rural area, so I don't know many other trans folks, and channels like yours help me feel connected and less alone. I'm so happy for you and I'm wishing you continued joy. Thanks again!
Hey! I'm from "just curious" croud. I wanted to say that you do look much more feminine from old videos I saw way before! (I hope it's ok to say.) And your skin looks amazing! The crying thing and cramps are freaking fascinating. Makes you realize how strongly hormones dictate our life.
(Cis woman here) My mind is blown! I love learning about this, thank you for sharing. I had no idea that trans women had hormonal cycles and PMS symptoms! You have my sympathies 😂 And may I just say how lovely it is to hear your personal experience and perspective regarding emotional expression and the heightened sensitivity. As a woman I have struggled with this all my life since puberty. I am quite sensitive (even for a woman I believe) and the way you embrace the beauty of being in touch with one’s feelings has further helped me reinforce the belief that this is not a hindrance, as I sadly thought for most of my life. I have learned in the last few years to see myself in a different light, and hearing you talk about it from such a positive perspective was a beautiful reminder of my own strength 🖤 I used to wonder why anyone would voluntarily put themselves through this hormonal “hell” , and now I see how misogynistic that point of view is. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE being a woman and there are few things that might be as powerful as feeling like a strong woman! But for the way the world is built, so much of the feminine has been made to feel like weakness, that I felt weak myself. I am past that now. Anyways, sorry for the rant. Congratulations on your journey! 👯♀️💃🏻
I remember I discovered you exactly when you published the video explaining you were trans! So it's my anniversary following you too :) Fandom aside, it's been great to follow your transition and to see you blossom video by video as you showed us your true self even further. Beautiful video and very informative, as an ally all of this info is much appreciated.
i came here for the book review of the Midnight Library, and then i am curious about any new book reviews, it brings me here and i’m very surprised by your new identity and impressed by your happy face and sharings. You look glorious and pretty. 💛
Lovely. Thanks for sharing your story. I was gonna say that a few videos ago I noticed a marked difference in your voice. So cool that the HRTs are working well for you.😊
I can't believe it's been a year already. I can hear the impact of those voice lessons, I'm glad you were able to find someone you can work with. It's so good to see you feeling at home in yourself, Willow. Some anecdotal evidence here: as a cis woman who had to take progesterone for gynae issues, I found it impacted my weight. It was part of the reason my doctor and I delayed that treatment option for as long as possible. Just wanted to mention it so you could be aware of that aspect in relation to your gym journey if you decide to start on it.
Your voice change! I’ve only just clicked the video, but wow 💜 I’m only 5 months on HRT but your videos helped me so much with knowing what to expect so thank you
I've watched the three videos in this sequence (just started, 6 month, and now this one)... and the voice change between the last video and this one was a surprise... particularly since that was the last thing you were talking about in the 6 month video!
Yo, Willow! Just wanted to let you know I shared this on my FB page and one of my friends expressed her appreciation for your information, it helps her understand what her trans niece is going through better. She sends her thanks. 🙏🏼
So happy to see your growth and progress in every way! I'm on a journey trying to figure out if medical transition is right for me at well (FtM). Seeing you blossom into your true self is inspiring for me to figure this out as well.
I just binged your whole trans journey, and it really hit me! 💖 I’m starting this week, and I’m super nervous but so happy to finally become my true self. I hope my journey can be as amazing as yours! 💖 Now I just need to find my voice.
i thought it was interesting to hear how it’s different in the us and uk about giving trans women progesterone and it was especially scary hearing that some might be carcinogenic 😦 i would love to keep hearing about your experiences as a trans woman! you’re amazing willow 💕💕
I was aware of the hormonal cycle giving some period symptoms but I wasn't aware cramps was included in that, I thought it was just the mood. I'm sorry to hear you have to suffer the cramps too, they suck. Finding the birth control that got rid of my periods and cramps was the best thing I did. No one should have to experience the cramps.
I didn't know about the cramps either. I thought they were the result of expelling the lining of the uterus. Triggered by hormone to do so, but if there is nothing to expel what muscles would cramp?
Oh my goodness, I have learned so much not only about your journey but also so much about the female body and hormones. Which is a sad statement coming from a nurse lol. You are gorgeous and beautiful, in my opinion you always have been. You have a beautiful soul. I love all of your videos. Thank you for all you do. Wishing you the best always ❤
I’ve been on estrogen for 4 months so far and I feel like emotions are easier to tell apart now. If I get angry for example, I can tell what emotions are combining to become anger (disappointment, disgust , fear, etc) instead of it just being a big blob of “mad”.
Seeing you happy makes me so happy too ❤ Thank you for sharing your journey with us. This video was definitely very informative for me as an ally. Thank you for all that you do, you deserve all the good things in the world!!
So wonderful to follow your journey, Willow! And the changes in your voice are def noticeable in this video. Can’t wait to hear more about the process. Going on t-blockers early is perhaps more common in certain circumstances. Like, you have very full hair, but for a woman who is coming into her transition with some degree of a receding hairline, going on T-blockers might be the *first* thing that she does to try to tackle that very dysphoria-inducing condition right away.
Love the video! I'll be on HRT for a year in like two weeks so nice timing! From my experience getting hrt in America it vastly differs from state to state & clinic to clinic, one of my friends had a completely different experience with Planned Parenthood than I did at a local clinic. Seems like a lot of them just generally follow the WPATH guidelines (almost too much) which suggests antiandrogens off the bat and corrects from there. I started seeing an endocrinologist recently and she followed the same rough guidelines, also said I could start progesterone after the 1 year mark. Hope your next year on HRT is even better!
Fascinating to hear about all the changes. I think progesterone would be good for your mood dips but I understand your fears, and perhaps more research is needed first! :)
I'm 19 and I've been on hrt for 9 months I haven't noticed much fat redistribution bc I'm very underweight but my skin is much softer,skin is more clear and my chest has been growing
I'm a trans man and been on T for a year and half and my hair also used to be straight and now it's wavy! And I love it. Of course everything else has gone in the opposite direction for me. I'm also physically disabled (born with vacterl association) so it's been interesting that i've noticed any increase in strength at all, because I can't work out, yet, I can open jars now. It's amazing lol!
Looking good, Willow! I’m afab and on HRT for menopause. My doctor said because I had my uterus removed a few years ago, I do not need progesterone. She said that’s really good because the majority of the risk with HRT (for menopausal women at least) is from the progesterone. It seems like the real science of trans healthcare is still in its infancy. I’m glad you’re being cautious and taking only calculated risks. Also note, what a lot of people think of as period pain are often not muscle cramps, but bloating and the effects of estrogen on other things in that area, such as your bowels.
It's so funny that you mentioned your hair - I definitely noticed that your hair had more of a curl to it during the last year, but I thought you were just styling it differently. It suits you so well! Re: the monthly hormonal cycle - that sounds exactly like what I went through with a natural m. cycle for the first couple of years; your body's still figuring stuff out and things are a little uneven, not always happening every month. PMS can hit hard, so be sure to remind yourself that that's just what it is once you're really able to predict when it happens; if it ever gets _really_ bad (wanting to press the escape button levels of bad) then definitely talk to your GP about PMDD, because dips _that_ low are definitely neither normal nor good. Apart from that, I actually had no idea that trans women also developed a hormonal cycle, but it makes complete sense when you think about it for five seconds lol! Even though I'm transmasc and I've not started any medical transitioning, I love seeing these sorts of videos / discussions from trans sisters talking about their experiences. They're _absolutely invaluable_ for others, and it can sometimes take a lot of courage to talk about. Not to mention - it's just so exciting to hear about their journeys, to know that they're so much happier and confident. Our community isn't always perfect, but I love how loudly we cheer each other on and want to uplift even the most seemingly small gains. Tiny gains make huge differences sometimes. It's so exciting to catch up with your progress, hear your experiences, and hear how confident your getting with your voice. You're doing fantastic. 🏳️⚧️💚
Thank you so much. Whatever path we take, simply being trans is a thrill ride. And you’re right, I’ve looked into PMDD and I’m pretty sure I have it. The past few days have been a deep struggle, and I’m taking steps to manage it
I have seen your video haphazardly and just a video before i saw a slight change in your voice,couldnt get why right away as i didn't know you were on a journey..anyway i hope this isnt disrectful to point out. Love your videos and good luck on your journey❤
as an afab enby I am so sorry about having any kind of periods. I have adhd and depression comorbidity. And a few days before my period, I am just sad or angry. Or sometimes both. It's the worst. But congrats on this milestone. You are killing it!
You say that your cramps are not every month and that you've been one year on HRT. Unsure if this applies, but I got my first period when I was 14 but they didn't become regular until late 15/early 16 years old. Maybe the same gist in terms of the hormonal cycle settling in? Since technically all of this is a second puberty. If the cramps ever get too bad, I use a Myoovi TENS Machine for my Adenomyosis (I've stopped my ovulation/menstrual cycle via Depo Provera, but still have chronic cramping pain due to this and possible Endometriosis as well). Myoovi is also beneficial for IBS pain that comes with that hormonal cycle too, and just pain in the lower belly/lower back in general life (I swear I'm not paid to write this, it's just been a MIRACLE MACHINE for me). PMDD is also a nightmare (I say PMDD because I have it and it feels like what you're describing could possibly be it?). At present, only the Yasmin Birth Control pill tackles PMDD (which I cannot have access to due to migraines, and I don't know if it would technically apply to you either???) but I've heard of PMDD friends regulating their PMDD using antihistamines. Can always look into this more? (I can't do antihistamines either -- but I guess since I've stopped my cycle, PMDD is no longer an issue THANK THE GODS but it is hell on hot wheels for 1-2 weeks a month). PMDD is more common if you have ADHD but not 100% of the time. Sending so much love!!!
Thank you so much for this! It has crossed my mind that I might have PMDD. The depths my mood plummets to are insane, honestly. I go from a stable mood to genuine thoughts of su1c1de. It’s not pleasant. So, I really appreciate your insight!
@@WillowTalksBooks I legit am surprised I am still alive after 15 years of PMDD every month because it does take away all forms of cognitive clarity and joy and then the minute my period started, it suddenly alleviated like a dense fog I'd been trying to navigate. 💀💀💀
Ooph, I really feel this. The sudden panic attacks are genuinely debilitating. And I’m not kind enough to myself to just say, okay, we’re done with work for today, go do something fun
@@WillowTalksBooks When I was 20, I started up setting self-care plans for my PMDD, as well as noting down how I know it's starting and reminders not to believe in this sudden shift in the lens towards my life (you still believe it because it's your brain), but having an amazing support system who were able to identify it too, sought to medically understand and understand it individually to me, and helped me to "touch grass" during it was fundamental as well. None of us are an island, and PMDD takes a village. 💜
Congrats! So happy for you. I'm non-binary looking to be more masculine personally and, although our experiences aren't the same, you've still inspired me to pursue hormones one day
On the Progesterone topic. #NotADoctor but as a UK based Transwoman I've been trying to read into this also. From what Ive been able to understand there are three very similarly named hormones. Progesterone is a naturally occurring hormone that helps govern the menstrual cycle in adult women and has some component in development of a teenager, which is why its helpful for trans women. Progestin and Progestogen are synthetic hormones designed to mimic some of the functions of Progesterone. They are cheaper and tend to feature a lot in birth control products for cis women. Whatever makes them different in function also makes them useless for trans women development and from what I've understood its these that have the heighted cancer risk. This might be the mix up with your friend? But discuss it with your medical professionals first as I'm just someone with google trying to figure stuff out myself.
Have you started rubbing on your legs and arms yet to feel the softness 😆 That’s something I love randomly doing. Yes, it sucks that it’s harder to lose weight and maintain it
Re. losing height-that happened pretty quickly for me, actually, within the first three months. I was also quite under-dosed on estrogen the first three months, but taking progesterone. So, if it happened that quickly during those months... for me, at least, it had to have been mostly or entirely from the progesterone. In any case, I lost an inch. It doesn't really matter. It's an interesting change, since most people find it surprising that HRT would do that, but it's totally irrelevant in terms of my actual experience. I've also gotten more flexible, though, and that does make a practical difference...
Re. healthcare-I'm in the US, my overall experience is that our healthcare is awful. _But_ access to HRT was very quick, easy, and affordable. I expected it to be a pain in the ass, instead it was one of the easiest healthcare interactions I've had. So, yeah, _on that one particular thing,_ I'm happy with the US system.
I'm a 79 year old CIS woman who has been taking yoga classes for many decades. I was very interested in your description of the bodily changes you've experienced with HRT hormones. I've noticed in yoga classes that most - not all - men - are not very flexible while most - not all - women are pretty flexible. Is it because men don't generally do activities like dance and yoga that increase flexibility or is it a function of testosterone? After a year on hormones, have you experienced any changes in your flexibility? P.S. I just discovered you as a book reviewer. We're not very aligned on genres, but there is some overlap and I am enjoying your videos immensely. I especially appreciated your video on books to read when you're in a slump. In the years leading up to my overdue cataract surgery (thanks Covid) , I reduced my reading and switched to Netflix and audio books. Now that I can see again, I'm gradually getting back to real books.
asked with respect (and i dont understand the science of cis-cycles) -- i assumed the cis hormone cycle was caused by the body modulating oestrogen release. what would cause this modulation for tranwomen who take oestrogen exogenously? thx for indulging my naive question if you do.
This is a good question that I also ask myself often. I’m assuming that, because it’s natural for cis men and people who were AMAB to have oestrogen in the first place, our bodies “understand” the regulation of oestrogen already? I mean, men have hormone cycles and also go through periods of low mood etc. it’s just that I now have a LOT more of the stuff. But this is a total guess. Just like how too much of medicine knows embarrassingly little about cis women’s bodies, we also know very little about trans bodies. But hey, as long as it doesn’t harm us (which it doesn’t), I’m happy!
Keep working with weights. They help keep your bone density up. Also add a good vitamin D pill to the mix, it helps with the anxiety and depression as well has hormone regulation. As a fellow sensitive person, big hugs. It sucks sometimes. Mostly, I just feel bad for people who don't get or can't access all the emotions. Oh, as a cis bi woman I got big when I worked as an EMT. I was getting football players' neck (American), my calfs went down to my feet, no more ankles, I had forearms to hands, and could cause muscle cramps in my arms doing a show off bicep curl. This was from doing squats with people all day long. I can build muscle. I looked strong. I looked like good pesant stock that servived some things. Lol! I am currently working on strength and flexibility.
My American health care specifically for trans care is GREAT everything has been covered every blood work, consultation, estrodial and spirolactone and I’m with uci gender affirming care they are very affirming as the name says lol and super informed on trans care then again I’m in California
Thanks for sharing your experience here. Im just at my 3 months on Estrogen stage and can relate to a lot of this already. Especially the emotional side, although i also feel so much calmer than before i started. I can relate to what you say about always being emoional but still felt a wall between how you feel and the feelings you express. I have always been similaar actually. I used to hate myself for being so sensitive and emotional. But after years of becoming used to it, i found myself feeling hardened in the he\za\art to a lot of emotion and realised how horrible a feeling it is to be unable to feel. But after a lot of soul searching and self help, i waas eventually able to face my emotions and embrace them again. I rmember crying one night for the first time iin years and it felt so healthy. But since starting on the hormones i have really noticed my emotions becoming sharper again and i love it. But this time round, i can appreciate my emotions as naturally beautiful and not some kind of deformity that made me a reject like i used to feel like when i was younger and still not conditioned yet by society to be soulless.
Re the curlier hair, did that happen in hair you already had, or just new growth? I’ve been noticing the same with mine and I wasn’t sure if I was just imagining it 😅 your hair really does look lovely though! 🙂 I have noticed my eyes starting to look… slightly? larger. It really is so subtle though, it’s fascinating to watch the changes over time.
The part about trans men and T doing all the leg work in the voice change is no entirely true. Yes T will drop it, but in order to sound like a cis man, voice training can be necessary especially considering the patterns/inflections in which we talk, T wont change that at all. Also I absolutely love watching your videos on the books youve read, your recommendations, youre discussion of a book. Youre definitely someone who I look to and respect. I am a trans man and am glad to see a trans person, even if youre a trans woman, on a booktube.
That was really interesting. I’m a cis woman and was really surprised to hear about the cramps. I guess it’s not just the womb that “squeezes” to make the cramps then, which is what I always thought 🙄. I hope they’re not too bad. I think you look more fem than in the last video of yours that I watched, which was a few weeks ago. The softness in your face and neck has increased a lot. It’s suiting you, and I’m really glad that it’s going well for you.
Thank you very much for sharing your experience. As a menopausal woman I'm dealing with a lot of mind and body changes myself that make me feel strange. I've been on HRT for nearly three months now and it was very interesting to listen and compare with my own experience. For your medical anxiety I would recommend Dr. Marie Claire Haver's articles and videos on HRT. Of course, they are focused on menopause, but I think some of the information may apply. (P.S. I had noticed you hair was looking gorgeous lately, but didn't think it was an appropriate comment on other videos, but, since you mention it 😊... it actually looks gorgeous)
The artificial progesterone is called Medroxyprogesterone-Acetate, I've taken it It's fine... I'm stopping it now but it was given because it has a very long half life in the body (I have to wait 3 months for it to get out of my body) and yeah associated health risk you won't be given that if your endo's know what your doing. You should be given Micronized Progesterone. It's debated the utility of progesterone, I started taking it post-GRS because without testis my body's Testosterone level literally hits 0 like below limit of detection for the machines. This is fine but can cause odd symptoms. like your libido literally dissapearing completely, joint pain. and your pubic hair thinning out. Progesterone fixes some of that for me. It also encourages some further breast development in most women, The way it was described it to me is it makes your breasts grow "up and out" more. Whereas estrogen makes them grow wider at the base, that's why some dislike prescribing it initially they are worried adding it too soon can give you weird shaped breasts.
I had no idea about the periods as a cis woman, welcome 🙏 I hate my period because it’s inconvenient but I love being a woman. I think yall feel the same way
Hello! Hi! You could be experiencing PMDD-like symptoms during your cycle. It affects your moods significantly. Hugs from a cis woman suffering with PMDD(meds saved my life).
Yeah I actually did some research recently and you’re so right. My mood lifted yesterday and I feel great, but for almost a week I was having genuine thoughts of ending things. It has to be PMDD
I wonder if the perceived mood swings might also level off after a time--after your body and mind have time to get used to the experience of the different hormone flow.
Hi there! Been watching your videos since you’ve been doing them with Jesse. So happy that you have found yourself as a trans trans woman. I always thought that is where you would end up. As postmenopausal cis woman who is on bioidentical HRT I’ve been enjoying bioidentical progesterone. I’m not sure why trans woman would need progesterone. My understanding is thst proge is necessary to offset the buildup that estrogen can cause the uterus. If you don’t have a biological uterus, why would you need progesterone?
From what I’ve been told, it helps with breast tissue growth and it stabilises the mood. Oestrogen can make your mood plummet quite easily and progesterone levels you out :)
What a lovely video with a lovely ending. Always makes my day and warms my heart to see fellow trans folk happy ❤️
Trans guy here, Just passed six months after getting top surgery and Its amazing the improvement in quality of life! Congrats on your journey, thank you for being brave enough to share! You are helping so many people by doing so.
I’m so happy for you! I’ve got a friend who also just had top surgery and the difference in his mood and confidence is so plain to see!
Miss I just took a big shit
I watched this and immediately sent it to my niece. She very recently started on HRT/blockers and I'm just so friggin proud of her! This is such an incredible video, thank you for sharing so, so much ❤ trans people are valid, important, amazing and LOVED ❤
Nothing makes me happier than hearing the joy in your voice when you say you love yourself and your body 😊❤️
I'm so happy for you ☺️
I'm a cis lesbian woman and found your video utterly captivating. Thank you for sharing the details of your HRT journey. Like many of the other commenters, I also love seeing you so happy with yourself. What a gift to give yourself and others.
It's nice seeing you be happy a lot of the changes you're experiencing.
I love that you are so happy and so open about your experience. This will help so many trans women. TFS!
this video marks six months
since I've been watching your
videos: along with your passion
for books it's been awesome
to see the changes and how
they make you sound and
look happier every time,
so congratulations on
your inspiring search
for happiness ! 🥰🌹
Started HRT today, this is super helpful and its been awesome watching your journey!
Amazing, congrats!!
thank you!
I'm trans, but not on HRT as of yet...and tbh, it terrifies me. But your video is very reassuring, so thank you. Your enthusiasm and clear happiness is encouraging! ❤
It’s a scary step to take; I don’t think enough trans people say that. But speaking as someone with almost crippling health anxiety, I’m still so much happier on HRT :)
You are glowing! How wonderful to feel so happy in your own skin. ❤
Your happiness just radiates off you, Willow! Thank you for sharing your journey and experiences. 💙💓🤍
Thank you so much for sharing! I'm a trans man from a rural area, so I don't know many other trans folks, and channels like yours help me feel connected and less alone. I'm so happy for you and I'm wishing you continued joy. Thanks again!
Hey! I'm from "just curious" croud. I wanted to say that you do look much more feminine from old videos I saw way before! (I hope it's ok to say.) And your skin looks amazing!
The crying thing and cramps are freaking fascinating. Makes you realize how strongly hormones dictate our life.
he still looks like a man..
I'm glad that you are happy about all the changes happening. Thank you for sharing your journey.
so happy for you willow ❤🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤🤍
(Cis woman here) My mind is blown! I love learning about this, thank you for sharing. I had no idea that trans women had hormonal cycles and PMS symptoms! You have my sympathies 😂
And may I just say how lovely it is to hear your personal experience and perspective regarding emotional expression and the heightened sensitivity. As a woman I have struggled with this all my life since puberty. I am quite sensitive (even for a woman I believe) and the way you embrace the beauty of being in touch with one’s feelings has further helped me reinforce the belief that this is not a hindrance, as I sadly thought for most of my life. I have learned in the last few years to see myself in a different light, and hearing you talk about it from such a positive perspective was a beautiful reminder of my own strength 🖤
I used to wonder why anyone would voluntarily put themselves through this hormonal “hell” , and now I see how misogynistic that point of view is. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE being a woman and there are few things that might be as powerful as feeling like a strong woman! But for the way the world is built, so much of the feminine has been made to feel like weakness, that I felt weak myself. I am past that now.
Anyways, sorry for the rant. Congratulations on your journey! 👯♀️💃🏻
I've been on hormones for almost 3 months now! These videos you are doing of your journey have been so so helpful and informative for me 😊
Yay! Congrats! 🏳️⚧️💜
I remember I discovered you exactly when you published the video explaining you were trans! So it's my anniversary following you too :) Fandom aside, it's been great to follow your transition and to see you blossom video by video as you showed us your true self even further. Beautiful video and very informative, as an ally all of this info is much appreciated.
That is so lovely to hear! Thank you for the ongoing love and support 💜
i came here for the book review of the Midnight Library, and then i am curious about any new book reviews, it brings me here and i’m very surprised by your new identity and impressed by your happy face and sharings. You look glorious and pretty. 💛
You are brilliant Willow. It’s so wonderful to hear how you are thriving ❤
Lovely. Thanks for sharing your story. I was gonna say that a few videos ago I noticed a marked difference in your voice. So cool that the HRTs are working well for you.😊
I can't believe it's been a year already. I can hear the impact of those voice lessons, I'm glad you were able to find someone you can work with. It's so good to see you feeling at home in yourself, Willow. Some anecdotal evidence here: as a cis woman who had to take progesterone for gynae issues, I found it impacted my weight. It was part of the reason my doctor and I delayed that treatment option for as long as possible. Just wanted to mention it so you could be aware of that aspect in relation to your gym journey if you decide to start on it.
It's great to see the joy that you've found, Willow. Long may it continue!
Your voice change! I’ve only just clicked the video, but wow 💜 I’m only 5 months on HRT but your videos helped me so much with knowing what to expect so thank you
I've watched the three videos in this sequence (just started, 6 month, and now this one)... and the voice change between the last video and this one was a surprise... particularly since that was the last thing you were talking about in the 6 month video!
Oh wow, voice training is really paying off! You seems so much happier and more confident too!
Witnessing your joy blossom more and more with every video is such a gift. Endlessly happy for you, Willow. 💜
This was really lovely to watch. Thank you for sharing your journey xx
Thank you for inviting us to learn through your story!
Thanks you for sharing your journey! Very informative. And it's so lovely seeing you glowing and so happy!
Bless you for your courage and strength. Love your book talks, especially Shirley Jackson. Keep reading! Be well, from Vermont USA.
Yo, Willow! Just wanted to let you know I shared this on my FB page and one of my friends expressed her appreciation for your information, it helps her understand what her trans niece is going through better. She sends her thanks. 🙏🏼
That’s amazing!
@@WillowTalksBooks ripples across the pond, babe. Never doubt you’re a jewel.
Willow so happy for your journey and how well you are doing.
Thank you for sharing your journey I appreciate you!
Your voice sounds really good. I wish you good fortunes on further progress with it :D
That was so interesting! As a cis woman, there where some things i didn't know about, so thank you! I am so happy that you are happy ☺️
Congrats!! You look beautiful.
Congrats!! You look gorgeous! It's my fourth month and everything feels so good already 💜
Amazing, yay!
So happy to see your growth and progress in every way! I'm on a journey trying to figure out if medical transition is right for me at well (FtM). Seeing you blossom into your true self is inspiring for me to figure this out as well.
I really hope you feel happy and comfortable, whatever you decide! 💜
Congrats on the anniversary!! So glad it’s going well for you ❤
I just binged your whole trans journey, and it really hit me! 💖 I’m starting this week, and I’m super nervous but so happy to finally become my true self. I hope my journey can be as amazing as yours! 💖 Now I just need to find my voice.
i thought it was interesting to hear how it’s different in the us and uk about giving trans women progesterone and it was especially scary hearing that some might be carcinogenic 😦 i would love to keep hearing about your experiences as a trans woman! you’re amazing willow 💕💕
Im so happy for you Willow! Thank you for sharing your journey ❤
Thank you so much 🥹💜
So happy for you. I have to admit that I was shocked to hear that hormones wouldn’t change your voice. I kind of assumed they would!
Yeah it’s very annoying! Because the lessons are costing me a small fortune that I don’t really have
Thank you for the update!! So happy for you ❤❤❤
I was aware of the hormonal cycle giving some period symptoms but I wasn't aware cramps was included in that, I thought it was just the mood. I'm sorry to hear you have to suffer the cramps too, they suck. Finding the birth control that got rid of my periods and cramps was the best thing I did. No one should have to experience the cramps.
I didn't know about the cramps either.
I thought they were the result of expelling the lining of the uterus. Triggered by hormone to do so, but if there is nothing to expel what muscles would cramp?
Oh my goodness, I have learned so much not only about your journey but also so much about the female body and hormones. Which is a sad statement coming from a nurse lol. You are gorgeous and beautiful, in my opinion you always have been. You have a beautiful soul. I love all of your videos. Thank you for all you do. Wishing you the best always ❤
I’ve been on estrogen for 4 months so far and I feel like emotions are easier to tell apart now. If I get angry for example, I can tell what emotions are combining to become anger (disappointment, disgust , fear, etc) instead of it just being a big blob of “mad”.
This is a very good point!
Seeing you happy makes me so
happy too ❤ Thank you for sharing your journey with us. This video was definitely very informative for me as an ally. Thank you for all that you do, you deserve all the good things in the world!!
So happy for you Willow!
So wonderful to follow your journey, Willow! And the changes in your voice are def noticeable in this video. Can’t wait to hear more about the process.
Going on t-blockers early is perhaps more common in certain circumstances. Like, you have very full hair, but for a woman who is coming into her transition with some degree of a receding hairline, going on T-blockers might be the *first* thing that she does to try to tackle that very dysphoria-inducing condition right away.
That’s such a good point, of course!
So interesting that you go through a monthly hormone cycle! I've never heard anyone talk about that. Thanks for sharing!
Love the video! I'll be on HRT for a year in like two weeks so nice timing!
From my experience getting hrt in America it vastly differs from state to state & clinic to clinic, one of my friends had a completely different experience with Planned Parenthood than I did at a local clinic. Seems like a lot of them just generally follow the WPATH guidelines (almost too much) which suggests antiandrogens off the bat and corrects from there. I started seeing an endocrinologist recently and she followed the same rough guidelines, also said I could start progesterone after the 1 year mark. Hope your next year on HRT is even better!
I'm happy that you have had such a great experience !
Fascinating to hear about all the changes. I think progesterone would be good for your mood dips but I understand your fears, and perhaps more research is needed first! :)
You are so beautiful! Thanks so much for the informative video. I enjoy your channel!
Thank you very much for sharing this information, it will help many people. ❤
I'm 19 and I've been on hrt for 9 months I haven't noticed much fat redistribution bc I'm very underweight but my skin is much softer,skin is more clear and my chest has been growing
Hooray!
Loved this video 💕
Thank you.
It makes me happy to see you happy ✨
So fucking proud of you Willow! ❤❤
So glad things are going well 😊
Thank you for sharing 🙂 Also, your hair is gorgeous. Jealous!
I love your joy. 💗
I'm a trans man and been on T for a year and half and my hair also used to be straight and now it's wavy! And I love it. Of course everything else has gone in the opposite direction for me. I'm also physically disabled (born with vacterl association) so it's been interesting that i've noticed any increase in strength at all, because I can't work out, yet, I can open jars now. It's amazing lol!
Looking good, Willow! I’m afab and on HRT for menopause. My doctor said because I had my uterus removed a few years ago, I do not need progesterone. She said that’s really good because the majority of the risk with HRT (for menopausal women at least) is from the progesterone. It seems like the real science of trans healthcare is still in its infancy. I’m glad you’re being cautious and taking only calculated risks. Also note, what a lot of people think of as period pain are often not muscle cramps, but bloating and the effects of estrogen on other things in that area, such as your bowels.
It's so funny that you mentioned your hair - I definitely noticed that your hair had more of a curl to it during the last year, but I thought you were just styling it differently. It suits you so well!
Re: the monthly hormonal cycle - that sounds exactly like what I went through with a natural m. cycle for the first couple of years; your body's still figuring stuff out and things are a little uneven, not always happening every month. PMS can hit hard, so be sure to remind yourself that that's just what it is once you're really able to predict when it happens; if it ever gets _really_ bad (wanting to press the escape button levels of bad) then definitely talk to your GP about PMDD, because dips _that_ low are definitely neither normal nor good. Apart from that, I actually had no idea that trans women also developed a hormonal cycle, but it makes complete sense when you think about it for five seconds lol!
Even though I'm transmasc and I've not started any medical transitioning, I love seeing these sorts of videos / discussions from trans sisters talking about their experiences. They're _absolutely invaluable_ for others, and it can sometimes take a lot of courage to talk about. Not to mention - it's just so exciting to hear about their journeys, to know that they're so much happier and confident. Our community isn't always perfect, but I love how loudly we cheer each other on and want to uplift even the most seemingly small gains. Tiny gains make huge differences sometimes.
It's so exciting to catch up with your progress, hear your experiences, and hear how confident your getting with your voice. You're doing fantastic. 🏳️⚧️💚
Thank you so much. Whatever path we take, simply being trans is a thrill ride. And you’re right, I’ve looked into PMDD and I’m pretty sure I have it. The past few days have been a deep struggle, and I’m taking steps to manage it
I have seen your video haphazardly and just a video before i saw a slight change in your voice,couldnt get why right away as i didn't know you were on a journey..anyway i hope this isnt disrectful to point out. Love your videos and good luck on your journey❤
as an afab enby I am so sorry about having any kind of periods. I have adhd and depression comorbidity. And a few days before my period, I am just sad or angry. Or sometimes both. It's the worst. But congrats on this milestone. You are killing it!
You say that your cramps are not every month and that you've been one year on HRT. Unsure if this applies, but I got my first period when I was 14 but they didn't become regular until late 15/early 16 years old. Maybe the same gist in terms of the hormonal cycle settling in? Since technically all of this is a second puberty.
If the cramps ever get too bad, I use a Myoovi TENS Machine for my Adenomyosis (I've stopped my ovulation/menstrual cycle via Depo Provera, but still have chronic cramping pain due to this and possible Endometriosis as well). Myoovi is also beneficial for IBS pain that comes with that hormonal cycle too, and just pain in the lower belly/lower back in general life (I swear I'm not paid to write this, it's just been a MIRACLE MACHINE for me).
PMDD is also a nightmare (I say PMDD because I have it and it feels like what you're describing could possibly be it?). At present, only the Yasmin Birth Control pill tackles PMDD (which I cannot have access to due to migraines, and I don't know if it would technically apply to you either???) but I've heard of PMDD friends regulating their PMDD using antihistamines. Can always look into this more? (I can't do antihistamines either -- but I guess since I've stopped my cycle, PMDD is no longer an issue THANK THE GODS but it is hell on hot wheels for 1-2 weeks a month). PMDD is more common if you have ADHD but not 100% of the time.
Sending so much love!!!
Thank you so much for this! It has crossed my mind that I might have PMDD. The depths my mood plummets to are insane, honestly. I go from a stable mood to genuine thoughts of su1c1de. It’s not pleasant. So, I really appreciate your insight!
@@WillowTalksBooks I legit am surprised I am still alive after 15 years of PMDD every month because it does take away all forms of cognitive clarity and joy and then the minute my period started, it suddenly alleviated like a dense fog I'd been trying to navigate. 💀💀💀
Ooph, I really feel this. The sudden panic attacks are genuinely debilitating. And I’m not kind enough to myself to just say, okay, we’re done with work for today, go do something fun
@@WillowTalksBooks When I was 20, I started up setting self-care plans for my PMDD, as well as noting down how I know it's starting and reminders not to believe in this sudden shift in the lens towards my life (you still believe it because it's your brain), but having an amazing support system who were able to identify it too, sought to medically understand and understand it individually to me, and helped me to "touch grass" during it was fundamental as well. None of us are an island, and PMDD takes a village. 💜
So gorgeous, so uplifting, thank you 💜
I’m on my second day of hrt and idk I feel better knowing that it’ll help me in the long run
Absolutely obsessed with your mug
Me too, it was an amazing surprise gift from my partner 💜
Congrats! So happy for you. I'm non-binary looking to be more masculine personally and, although our experiences aren't the same, you've still inspired me to pursue hormones one day
On the Progesterone topic. #NotADoctor but as a UK based Transwoman I've been trying to read into this also. From what Ive been able to understand there are three very similarly named hormones.
Progesterone is a naturally occurring hormone that helps govern the menstrual cycle in adult women and has some component in development of a teenager, which is why its helpful for trans women.
Progestin and Progestogen are synthetic hormones designed to mimic some of the functions of Progesterone. They are cheaper and tend to feature a lot in birth control products for cis women. Whatever makes them different in function also makes them useless for trans women development and from what I've understood its these that have the heighted cancer risk.
This might be the mix up with your friend? But discuss it with your medical professionals first as I'm just someone with google trying to figure stuff out myself.
❤ This is beautiful. ❤
Have you started rubbing on your legs and arms yet to feel the softness 😆 That’s something I love randomly doing. Yes, it sucks that it’s harder to lose weight and maintain it
Re. losing height-that happened pretty quickly for me, actually, within the first three months. I was also quite under-dosed on estrogen the first three months, but taking progesterone. So, if it happened that quickly during those months... for me, at least, it had to have been mostly or entirely from the progesterone.
In any case, I lost an inch. It doesn't really matter. It's an interesting change, since most people find it surprising that HRT would do that, but it's totally irrelevant in terms of my actual experience. I've also gotten more flexible, though, and that does make a practical difference...
Re. healthcare-I'm in the US, my overall experience is that our healthcare is awful. _But_ access to HRT was very quick, easy, and affordable. I expected it to be a pain in the ass, instead it was one of the easiest healthcare interactions I've had. So, yeah, _on that one particular thing,_ I'm happy with the US system.
Just a curious person here, you seem happy, and that is the main thing.
Looking gorgeous, you gorgeous!
I'm a 79 year old CIS woman who has been taking yoga classes for many decades. I was very interested in your description of the bodily changes you've experienced with HRT hormones. I've noticed in yoga classes that most - not all - men - are not very flexible while most - not all - women are pretty flexible. Is it because men don't generally do activities like dance and yoga that increase flexibility or is it a function of testosterone? After a year on hormones, have you experienced any changes in your flexibility? P.S. I just discovered you as a book reviewer. We're not very aligned on genres, but there is some overlap and I am enjoying your videos immensely. I especially appreciated your video on books to read when you're in a slump. In the years leading up to my overdue cataract surgery (thanks Covid) , I reduced my reading and switched to Netflix and audio books. Now that I can see again, I'm gradually getting back to real books.
asked with respect (and i dont understand the science of cis-cycles) -- i assumed the cis hormone cycle was caused by the body modulating oestrogen release. what would cause this modulation for tranwomen who take oestrogen exogenously? thx for indulging my naive question if you do.
This is a good question that I also ask myself often. I’m assuming that, because it’s natural for cis men and people who were AMAB to have oestrogen in the first place, our bodies “understand” the regulation of oestrogen already? I mean, men have hormone cycles and also go through periods of low mood etc. it’s just that I now have a LOT more of the stuff. But this is a total guess. Just like how too much of medicine knows embarrassingly little about cis women’s bodies, we also know very little about trans bodies. But hey, as long as it doesn’t harm us (which it doesn’t), I’m happy!
Keep working with weights. They help keep your bone density up. Also add a good vitamin D pill to the mix, it helps with the anxiety and depression as well has hormone regulation. As a fellow sensitive person, big hugs. It sucks sometimes. Mostly, I just feel bad for people who don't get or can't access all the emotions.
Oh, as a cis bi woman I got big when I worked as an EMT. I was getting football players' neck (American), my calfs went down to my feet, no more ankles, I had forearms to hands, and could cause muscle cramps in my arms doing a show off bicep curl. This was from doing squats with people all day long. I can build muscle. I looked strong. I looked like good pesant stock that servived some things. Lol! I am currently working on strength and flexibility.
My American health care specifically for trans care is GREAT everything has been covered every blood work, consultation, estrodial and spirolactone and I’m with uci gender affirming care they are very affirming as the name says lol and super informed on trans care then again I’m in California
Every time you say "I wear my heart on my sleeve", Blond Redhead plays in my head 😅
Thanks for sharing your experience here. Im just at my 3 months on Estrogen stage and can relate to a lot of this already. Especially the emotional side, although i also feel so much calmer than before i started. I can relate to what you say about always being emoional but still felt a wall between how you feel and the feelings you express. I have always been similaar actually. I used to hate myself for being so sensitive and emotional. But after years of becoming used to it, i found myself feeling hardened in the he\za\art to a lot of emotion and realised how horrible a feeling it is to be unable to feel. But after a lot of soul searching and self help, i waas eventually able to face my emotions and embrace them again. I rmember crying one night for the first time iin years and it felt so healthy. But since starting on the hormones i have really noticed my emotions becoming sharper again and i love it. But this time round, i can appreciate my emotions as naturally beautiful and not some kind of deformity that made me a reject like i used to feel like when i was younger and still not conditioned yet by society to be soulless.
Re the curlier hair, did that happen in hair you already had, or just new growth? I’ve been noticing the same with mine and I wasn’t sure if I was just imagining it 😅 your hair really does look lovely though! 🙂
I have noticed my eyes starting to look… slightly? larger. It really is so subtle though, it’s fascinating to watch the changes over time.
That’s a good question! And I’m sure it must happen to the hair that’s already there, which is kinda wild! Being trans is fun :)
The part about trans men and T doing all the leg work in the voice change is no entirely true. Yes T will drop it, but in order to sound like a cis man, voice training can be necessary especially considering the patterns/inflections in which we talk, T wont change that at all. Also I absolutely love watching your videos on the books youve read, your recommendations, youre discussion of a book. Youre definitely someone who I look to and respect. I am a trans man and am glad to see a trans person, even if youre a trans woman, on a booktube.
That was really interesting. I’m a cis woman and was really surprised to hear about the cramps. I guess it’s not just the womb that “squeezes” to make the cramps then, which is what I always thought 🙄. I hope they’re not too bad. I think you look more fem than in the last video of yours that I watched, which was a few weeks ago. The softness in your face and neck has increased a lot. It’s suiting you, and I’m really glad that it’s going well for you.
Willow ❤❤❤
Thank you very much for sharing your experience. As a menopausal woman I'm dealing with a lot of mind and body changes myself that make me feel strange. I've been on HRT for nearly three months now and it was very interesting to listen and compare with my own experience.
For your medical anxiety I would recommend Dr. Marie Claire Haver's articles and videos on HRT. Of course, they are focused on menopause, but I think some of the information may apply.
(P.S. I had noticed you hair was looking gorgeous lately, but didn't think it was an appropriate comment on other videos, but, since you mention it 😊... it actually looks gorgeous)
Thank you! I’ll check those articles out :)
The artificial progesterone is called Medroxyprogesterone-Acetate, I've taken it It's fine... I'm stopping it now but it was given because it has a very long half life in the body (I have to wait 3 months for it to get out of my body) and yeah associated health risk you won't be given that if your endo's know what your doing. You should be given Micronized Progesterone.
It's debated the utility of progesterone, I started taking it post-GRS because without testis my body's Testosterone level literally hits 0 like below limit of detection for the machines. This is fine but can cause odd symptoms. like your libido literally dissapearing completely, joint pain. and your pubic hair thinning out. Progesterone fixes some of that for me.
It also encourages some further breast development in most women, The way it was described it to me is it makes your breasts grow "up and out" more.
Whereas estrogen makes them grow wider at the base, that's why some dislike prescribing it initially they are worried adding it too soon can give you weird shaped breasts.
That was so helpful, thank you!
I had no idea about the periods as a cis woman, welcome 🙏 I hate my period because it’s inconvenient but I love being a woman. I think yall feel the same way
I definitely do :)
Omg, I'm so sorry you get cramps and the depression of the cycle! Those are the w0rst things about it! ❤
Weird, my comment posted several times even though it was telling me it couldn't post... Sorry about that.
Hello! Hi! You could be experiencing PMDD-like symptoms during your cycle. It affects your moods significantly. Hugs from a cis woman suffering with PMDD(meds saved my life).
Yeah I actually did some research recently and you’re so right. My mood lifted yesterday and I feel great, but for almost a week I was having genuine thoughts of ending things. It has to be PMDD
I wonder if the perceived mood swings might also level off after a time--after your body and mind have time to get used to the experience of the different hormone flow.
Hi there! Been watching your videos since you’ve been doing them with Jesse. So happy that you have found yourself as a trans trans woman. I always thought that is where you would end up. As postmenopausal cis woman who is on bioidentical HRT I’ve been enjoying bioidentical progesterone. I’m not sure why trans woman would need progesterone. My understanding is thst proge is necessary to offset the buildup that estrogen can cause the uterus. If you don’t have a biological uterus, why would you need progesterone?
From what I’ve been told, it helps with breast tissue growth and it stabilises the mood. Oestrogen can make your mood plummet quite easily and progesterone levels you out :)
I’ve experienced hot flashes!
cis guy here celebrating many years on testosterone ..no complaints as of yet.
Cool :)