How to SHOW not TELL in your writing (one simple trick for better prose)
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- Опубліковано 23 лип 2024
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"Show, don't tell" is a popular motto in the writing world, and it's a pretty easy rule to remember when you’re writing simple character actions. But when it comes to the more complex things-like fatal flaws, misbeliefs and internal conflict-showing not telling is easier said than done. How much of your character’s internal conflict should you reveal? Are they supposed to know their fatal flaw or keep it hidden? Do they know what they want? Do they know what they’re afraid of? How are we supposed to show the reader all of this without making them feel like they’re just reading a character profile? These are the big questions we're tackling in today's video. Believe it or not, there is one simple trick you can use to instantly improve your prose and make your story unputdownable… by showing (not telling) your character's internal conflict.
Comment below and tell me: what is YOUR favorite way to show not tell internal conflict?
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✨ C H A P T E R S ✨
00:00 How to show internal conflict?
02:09 The golden rule of showing vs telling
04:22 How much should your character know about their own conflict?
06:36 Case study: The Otherworld
07:21 Bad example: telling internal conflict
08:58 Good example: showing internal conflict
11:23 The ONE question to ask yourself
12:16 When is it okay to tell instead of show?
13:56 Ready to take your writing to the next level?
16:37 Recap
17:43 Subscribe for writing videos every week :)
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"The character is editorializing, not the author"... When I tell you the lightbulb that came on in my brain when you said that 😂😂😂 omg
I was struggling with an emotional scene in my story where the main character breaks down in tears after his friend wakes up from a coma. Changed it from "only now, he realized how much had depended on the boy surviving" to his inner thoughts "Stop crying you idiot. He made it. He's gonna be alright."
Thank you :))
I usually think about how I'd get to know someone in real life. A person wouldn't tell me they have anxiety because of their critical parents but I might conclude this based on their body language, how they respond to social situations and authority, through their people pleasing methods, etc. And from there it's easy to imagine situations that challenge their fears and misbeliefs and help them grow, like finally standing up to someone who has taken advantage of them.
It depends on the character and the point of view of the story. Some people are extremely open and will tell you outright they have anxiety. Some you have to force it out of them. Others will avoid admitting it all all costs and every other variant in between. Also, it's extremely common for body language to not match thoughts. Body language is a pseudo science for a reason.
I think this "show not tell" guide of yours is the best one so far. All of the other ones I've read online, while they're all good, they're all almost the same, especially examples like this:
Tell: She was cold.
Show: She shivered, hugging her coat tightly around her, her breath visible in the frosty air.
Every guide featured the exact same or extremely similar examples for show vs. tell, even if they are still excellent examples. Your examples on this topic differ from those in previous "show not tell" examples, I truly enjoyed reading them in this video. I really liked the way you explained why the tell excerpt was not as excellent as the show excerpt and why your show excerpt was superior. I now have more options thanks to this.
These I will definitely write down in my notes. I really enjoyed your examples of show versus tell. I have learned a lot from occasionally binge-watching your videos because they are always so insightful.
A Ted-Ed video about writing vividly made me realize that these examples suggest the antidote for terse literalism is... more literalism.
See "she was sad," and "she cried," are so closely related as to be virtually indistinguishable, so it has to be, "she wailed, tears streaming down her reddened face, from weary eyes, crusted and red." certainly nothing over the top about that either. When it could be something like "Her thoughts drifted back to the last Kauai bird, and its haunting call for a mate that would never come. Those were her dreams. A half remembered cry to a lost future. It went not unheard. Life surrounds, and not a single hope for the songbird."
I'm not saying it's great or anything, but they give you no impression that you can even do this. It's all "she clinged" this and "her eyes" that.
Before I started watch Abbie, my writing was a mess. I didn’t know ANY story structures and I was a TOTAL PANCER. I thought I was wrapping up my very first story 🎉 until I realized my villain I had in my head wasn’t introduced yet. So… long story short, he ended up being introduced on page 100😅. But thanks to Abbie, I’m outlining my next story with the 3 act story structure. Now my characters have fears, misbeliefs, and desires. Now my story’s character driven not plot driven. THANK YOU SO MUCH ABBIE. You saved my writing career.
I know right? I was also so lost, and pantsing was the only thing I knew. Now, it's all organized and I will NEVER go back to pantsing, for I have become OBSESSED with plotting
There's nothing wrong with being a pantser. I can pants the first quarter or so of a book and it'll turn out usable but after that I'll need some kind of road map. People who think plotting is better than pantsing genuinely annoy the hell out of me, don't fall for that, so if you ever end up stuck in an outline, forget it, just write. No one cares how you get your words onto the page as long as those words form a good story.
There’s nothing wrong with being a pantser if you’re truly one, but don’t call yourself a pantser if you’re just disorganized or don’t know what you’re doing.
Guys, am I going crazy? I feel like both the "tell" example and "Show example" about Orca made me sink into the story already. I liked both approaches 😭
Also, my favourite way of showing and not telling is the use of fragmented sentences when the character is being hit hard with a "truth" or in a life-and-death situation, showcasing their confusion and difficulty in grasping whatever is happening! (Wait, is this even a thing?)
You're definitely not crazy 😁 I think that just goes to show even a telling paragraph can be effective if you have an interesting premise and strong prose!
Rather than being downright bad, the point seems to be that the 'telling' style can make the character sound unnaturally self aware. It can also kill some of the reader's engagement, since you're not leaving them room to use their big brains for interpretation 🧠
i get what you mean. but the showing version is js info dumping. even if you get immersed, it isn't that realistic bc that's not how humans act. and like abbie said, why would orca know all of that anyways. when i read studd like that i js cringe bc they're telling us sm. u want to be as realistic as possible.
@@Lia_michelin143 I agree, so much telling in the introduction paragraph of a narrative with a limited narrator (Orca) doesn't make a lot of sense. But I think there are cases where leaning into a 'telling' style can work, because the narrator is omniscient (something like death narrating The Book Thief). In such a case, having an unrealistic 'voice' can make narrative sense and add an interesting style!
Like many techniques in writing, show don't tell isn't a universal principle. It is a method of focusing on certain parts of the story. It isn't appropriate in every situation. As a writer you would need to understand the pacing of your particular story to know when showing is appropriate and when telling is, and indeed sometimes both of them can work quite well.
@@Lia_michelin143i info dump in real life all the time😅
marvelous, just marvelous teaching … from a 70 yo guy who loves short story telling via the coast of Maine … so glad I found your utube channel.
I like to continue the struggle of the character's even after they break their misconception.
Pam was so happy to have met Jim and Eve. She knew that other souls had strong feelings about her ideas. She came back home and started scribbling notes about her next story.
She remembered when her mother came to her room during college days. "What are you writing?" Pam,"Just a story..." Mom"Well, you know that having a writers life is not why we are paying for your college ?" Pam."I don't want to make a career in writing. My teachers told me I should improve my English."
She was holding her pen tightly and angered that her inspiration was lost again with a past memory. She tried focusing on Jim and Eve. How they were reminding themselves of past books they enjoyed . "Jim, do you remember that author ...."
Pam parts ways with Jim and Eve.
Ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump.
The sun's warm, bright rays kisses her skin, the wind stirs her hair, and the world, with all its greens and blues and reds and violets has never appeared so bright. It was as if, at this moment, the colours she had only seen through her eyes finally connected with her heart. She even wants to scream and laugh.
But Pam will bottle it all up, every single flutter in her chest, and release it through her pen.
With lightened steps, Pam rushes home, rushing up the rickety wooden steps with wild abandon, swinging open the familiar shape of her door. She abandons her bag in a heap at her feet, quickly scooping out her trusty worn notebook and pencil and leans over her desk, barely paying mind to sit down.
Scritch, scritch, scritch.
The pen moves across the notebook frantically, and the owner, transfixed, does not notice the beads of sweat appearing on her forehead. Her heart, that has never calmed down once, orders her hand to continue moving, faster and faster, for it will never be quick enough to write all she wishes to create.
SNAP!
A black smudge appears over the half-written word.
Pam is forced to come to a stop as the pencil gives way, its lead piece rolling off the table. She reaches over to grab it and dispose it into the garbage before grabbing her pencil sharpener so she can continue writing.
However, it is this pause in writing that let thoughts have the chance to slip through the cracks and gaps. As the fragments of pencil chips sprinkle down from the pencil sharpener into the waiting maws of the garbage can below her, Pam suddenly recalls an old memory.
("What are you writing?")
It was her mother's voice.
How had Pam replied then? Oh yes.
("Just a story.")
She had curled protectively over her writing then, covering it up from her mother's eyes. At that time, it was during her early college days, when Pam's mother entered the room to see what Pam was doing.
("Well, you should know that we're not paying your tuition so you can be a writer?")
A scowl.
That was all it took before trepidation had overtaken Pam's heart. A single dip in the eyebrows, and the down-turning of the lips from her mother. She feared her parent's disproval the most. So Pam had replied,
("I'm not thinking of becoming a writer...just that my professors suggested having an improved writing skill would be beneficial in any career.")
It was a lie.
A lie that took root in her heart and snuffed out all the hope that her parents would understand, and a denial of her dreams. After that, Pam learned to hide her writing, hide her passion, and bury her writer's soul under a lonely banner. She strove instead to be the perfect daughter, and to pursue the career her parents wanted her to do.
Just like now.
Pam finishes sharpening her pencil, but as the tip touches the notebook's page, it stills, and Pam is unable to make her imprint. She grips her pencil tightly, as if trying to snap it in half, before loosening her hold, and letting the pencil drop onto the notebook. There, she snaps the notebook shut and pushes it to the corner of her desk.
There, she stares at it, her earlier exuberant mood bubbling to nothingness.
The table, the flower wallpaper, the notebook, and the pen all return to their former colours.
Pam pulls out her laptop, ready to finish her class assignments.
Writing would have to wait.
This was so incredibly helpful Abbie! I've been struggling for years to balance emotionally intelligent characters who are honest with themselves without telling too much and irritating my readers. I'll be keeping your tips here in mind from now on, thank you so much!
I always follow two of my favorite authors. Haruki Murakami and Sobers Rodrigues. They are brilliant story tellers.
That's so cool!
I also follow my favorite authors : Hazel clarke and Stephanie Garber
I also follow my favorite author, MAKOTO SHINKAI
Read his books and watch his movies, they’ll inspire you very much.
Just when I thought I really understood the concept of show don't tell...Huge thanks, Abbie. Four years in, I may not be able to save the whole book, but Act III for sure.
I feel this so much, as a reader! I've recently started to distance myself from a particular author. I've been pretty hooked on her works because her early stuff was SO GOOD. But recently she has had some health issues, and it's showing with the way her characters and story is developing. I think it comes down to the characters being a little flat, surface level. It's like the conflict is barely there, and it never really goes deep. There is some quick fix of the misbelief, cue: HEA. Thank you for pointing out what it is!
Yes show not tell is true. Bad example might be a characters says he is cold. Show his body is turning to white frost and he's shivering, rubbing his hands together.
I think the advice mostly about letting the audience use their imagination by deducing anything at all. So if you say something like "He knew he should have worn more layers. Like seventeen of them." Then the audience will understand that the guy is cold, and he doesn't have to turn ghost white, covered in icicles every time, like a cartoon character.
I actually think that it would be helpful to both show and tell. I am not interested so much in prose but in telling a matter of fact story. Sometimes a writer wants to tell the reader what to tink. Say that a villain is evil and then show the evil act. Say a character feels sadness and then show how he or she is dealing with it. I believe there is room for both.
Some of us know our internal struggles, but not what to do about it: "I know I"m this way, but how can I change?" Any suggestions, from oneself or others never seem like they'll work. They can't imagine accomplishing the goal. the Misbelief: it'll never happen; I can't. It's too confusing, overwhelming, scary, whatever.
Amazingly engaging and lucid. Your writing advice has had a profoundly favorable impact on my writer's mindset. Thank You forever🙏🙏✍✍🙏🌹✍🙏
4:40 ms abbie are you sure you not talkin about me ? 😂
I just finished the first chapter of my horror/fantasy/crime novel (yeah I know) and I tried my best to not go overboard on the exposition. When I'm writing I mostly rely on description a lot of the time which can be good or bad depending on your point of view.
Plus that thing of being afraid of being criticised and shamed by reviewers and the Internet is so true. I go through that every day😅
Thanks for your advice, Abbie. I would join the Discord but I don't have Patreon, sorry.
@@Benji568 is it like gothic fantasy or something
@unicorntomboy9736 I've barely started it. I could go that route but I try to keep it grounded and more like a thriller with a supernatural element. That's all I'm gonna say, don't want to give too much away.
@@Benji568 My current book is gothic fantasy, with some grimdark
@@unicorntomboy9736 Sounds exciting! Good luck with it.
I was just wondering how to do this! Perfect timing! Thank you Abbie! I'm so thankful for your videos.
Hi Abbie, hope you are well. Thank you for this video, very informative. Wish I could take your live training but living in a nursing home they take the money. My book is a fantasy novel and I am just wrapping up the outline then will be writing it out. Thanks again and cant wait for your next VOD.
Can you make a video about difference between description in short story and in novels. I am struggling with keeping description short and still effective for short story.
I struggle to write short stories. It is a distinctly different craft from writing a novel or novella
@@unicorntomboy9736 exactly. It is hard to keep it short. My short story just expands while I write😂
ABBIE! You're so pretty, and I love your shirt. I have had a burnout of wiring lately but am just getting back into it and reviewing your videos is so fun and helpful!
you EXPOSED pam💀💀
I am pam 😂😂
Thank you dear Abbie
That video really helps!
channels like this are super helpful for me rn; i'm trying to plan out a manga based on some story i started thinking about when i was like 11 (so you know how that started) so ive been looking at all these videos to make it into an actual story, since i feel like i haven't got a good grasp on how to write and if i don't by the time i make it the critics might find it and tear it apart for flaws i never knew existed
That's awesome that you're motivated again! As helpful as I find these videos I seem to get caught up in "it has to be perfect and has to have blah blah blah in it cause Abbie said so" my point being don't watch to many writing videos at one time cause you could get caught up in the technical and forget that your doing this for fun as well
What's the plot for the manga?
@@OneLuckyLizard plot is all over the place right now; the character goes through so many different setting changes and tone changes that i'd be here forever trying to explain it lol
though with what i'm trying to do with the character is to show how she changes to react to her current situation, at one point actually becoming a worse person than she was before due to the circumstances so i think that might be an interesting thing to work with
@@TheWary0ne-vs3xt Ooo I've wanted to write a story like that for awhile! Let me know how it turns out! Lol
@@OneLuckyLizard lol aight; if i get the whole story out maybe i'll try to remember this comment
@@TheWary0ne-vs3xt lol
Every time I watch one of your vids I get inspiration for my debate novel. i was halfway through my debut novel's zero draft when I was forced to take a months break from writing. I've gone back to the beginning now and tried to convert it to my 1st draft. I was definitely telling way too much. So excited about my story though.
THANK YOU! I've been wanting for figure this out for years!
Everything I’ve been struggling with in my writing for quite a while now, you easily summed up in two sentences. Your videos are a massive help and inspiration to me. Big ❤ from 🇦🇺
I think the key is in the observation that showing is allowing the reader to be emotionally involved in the scene. Show don't tell is not a universal, one size fits all technique. It is, like most other things with writing, an artistic choice. Sometimes you should tell instead of showing. For instance, if Bob is going to bed after a long day, you would probably just write that Bob was tired and went to bed. Unless Bob being tired and going to bed is significant, showing is inappropriate, as it puts emphasis and emotion into something that should be a quick footnote.
This video is SO good and helpful, especially because of the examples you show and talk about! Thank you!! 😊
It was fun hearing you explain this using “The Otherworld” since I’ve already read it. Great story. Thanks again for your videos.
I always knew the importance of show don’t tell, I’ve struggled to wrap my head around it until now. This’ll be helpful for editing my own books. Keep up the good work!
You'll probably continue to struggle, honestly. It's a really tough concept.
i watched your how to write a gripping opening hook and I knew how to include internal conflict. I thought about what it should be for a long time and I found something truly worth a read. But I couldn't show the conflict, this video helped me amazingly!! Thanks abbie!!
Rock on!!!
Thank you, Abbie!
I've binged so many of your videos! They're super insightful and have helped me so much thank you!
I’ve been needing this tutorial for so long! Thank you!
One of my biggest pet peeved scenes in a book is when the girl from the secret Garden says (spoilers)
(I don't know the exact words)
They said the garden has been locked for ten years. Then later the girl says:
"This key must've been lost here for ten years... It must be the garden's key.". Why not just stop with the "ten years" part?
Your book sounds majestic can’t wait ❤❤ to read it!
Your videos are always exactly what I need while I'm writing and I'm trying to fix something I wrote wrong 😊❤
WHOA I WAS THINKING ABOUT THIS THE OTHER DAY! Literally a psychic abbie!
this video came in just as i was about to edit my first draft, perfect timing
I've been watching your videos all day because I am writing my first book! You've helped me so much. Thank you xoxo
THIS WAS SO HELPFUL THANK YOU ABBIE!!! ❤❤❤
Thank you so much, Abbie. Your videos are always incredibly helpful and inspiring ❤️😊
Great video as always! Thank you, Abbie ❤
I love your vids Abbie. I have integrated your advice into my own writing. Wish me luck on my first book!
Good stuff Abbie. Your videos have helped me during the third revision of my first book. So glad I stumbled across your channel.
I really enjoy your videos. I like your intros and the way you explain things. The way you use storytelling is really cool. Since I found you earlier this year, I've regnited my passion for writing! ♥♥
I’ve watched maybe some of your videos, or at least part of them, and I guess I’ve kind of let some of my writing zeal fall to the wayside, maybe even dangerously so. I’ve released one book, but it’s kind of on my end of things to really promote it, and being in college and, having a lot going on, it can be hard to do that, especially when I’m relying on someone else running the Facebook account. But watching this video kind of sparked or reignited my desire. I may even take another look at the sequel of my first book again, perhaps even including the parts I really really don’t like. It can be very dialogue heavy, but I think I can take away some of the narrative exposition. What you seem to be teaching is, the right way to apply direct and indirect characterization. But that kind of makes me wonder how someone who has an omniscient third person narrator would do this. I’m not saying that’s necessarily what I’m doing, but I thought I’d ask the question as a bit of intellectual pushback.blessings from Jesus and Messiah.
You give the best writing advice. Thank you.
Found you a few days ago, really great channel and best tips! Thankss ❤❤
OMG! thanks for this video! Just in the marathon I’m participating in, the theme is emotions!🤩
Thanks for the video Abbie. I didn't think that I would need this.
Hi you videos have been pretty helpful for me as I am writing my first ever book right now! Thank you for all the work you put into these videos!❤
your videos always help me overcome my writers block, thank you for al your hard work☺
You have such good advise! Thank you so much!
You should create a video about writing tips for an already established romance. Example a couple goes on an adventure together, how to build up romance further, how to keep it stable, etc etc.
You're writing fan fiction aren't you?
Thank you for this AMAZING video, Abbie ❤
Just what I needed
Thank you kindly Abbie ❤
Thank you so much, you are the best.
AMAZING video. best show don't tell explanation I've seen
Hey Abbie! Just wanted to say thank you so much.
I've been trying to write my version of Kung Fu Panda 4 for months, and now because of you and Tyler Mowery, I finally have a scene by scene outline ready for NaNoWriMo.
I'll be putting you both in the acknowledgements.
Rock on!
thank you for the video
Hello from germany.
I just watched a lot of your videos and found them great help for me.
I don't write a book, but I currently develop a RPG game with a lot of charakters and dialogues and your videos helped me out quite a bit 🙂.
It’s not show, don’t tell. It’s show, tell, ignore. You showed Orca’s emotion, you told the reader she belongs on the ocean floor via dialogue, and you ignored a huge section of time where she aged. Good writing incorporates all three.
You are BOMB Abbie!!! Thank youuuuu ❤❤❤❤
So helpful! Thank you. I'm in on the training. :)
Question: When my main character reaches their AHA moment and realizes that their fears and misbelief have been holding them back and clouding their judgment about what will bring them true happiness, how can they convey their internal struggle to the side characters without sounding preachy or telling to the audience aka reader?
Great video by the way. It was exactly what I need to hear.😁
Thank You! 👍💥
Thanks!
Thanks
your video is always amazing
Awesome video.
First, Otherworld landed on my doorstep a couple days ago and I finished it fast. Abbie did a great job. I found myself wanting to keep reading Otherworld more than even Phantom of the Opera which I read just before it, and that's saying a lot. Something about the cozy vibes made the story enjoyable to be wrapped in, like a blanket. Have to admit I just pictured Orca as Abbie the whole way through, can't be the only one. Put in the replies if you did the same thing.
When writing multiple POV i have used one character POV to make assumptions or statements about another character, then in the next or a later chapter use character B's POV to prove the assumption is false with some actions or dialogue. This can expose some false beliefs and inner conflicts in character A without having to "tell". It also saves you from slowing down the story progression a bit.
Thanks Abbie, you’re videos help me become a better writer! I’m trying to write a character who isn’t a main villain of the story but she causes the events of the story. Could you do a video on how to write a character like that?
Wow! Thank you! :D
ME every time I see a new video uploaded by Abbie *rushes to the video just to say : What's up my friend Abby here and welcome back to WRITERSLIFE WEDNESDAYS where we come together to help you/me make my story matter and make my author dreams come true'' it became a pledge/tradition for me to say. Abby you are amazing in and out you and your sister deserve Oscars fr
Love♥ from a 15yr old girl in south Africa
Look who is back!
I find I tend to overcomplicate the story I’m writing and add to many things that the story gets out of control. I could fix it with more editing and pre planning
One minute?! Gosh darn i'm early
Abbie I love you so much ❤❤❤❤ you're my hero for this video
I really enjoy watching your videos - they are very helpful. However, there is one aspect that I've noticed many people don't discuss, even though it's something I still struggle with as a beginner writer. The writing process can still be challenging for me at times. Nonetheless, great work on the video content.
Abbie could teach a college writing class professionally if she wanted & I for one really appreciate her.
aah i dont have a way to pay, but hope you get all the support you deserve abbie!
Hello Abbie! I really like the way u explain and give tips, as they have helped me a lot! I wanted to ask something about the Fantasy Novel im writing, and your criticism would mean a lot!
Nice 👍
Lets go!!!
My favorite way is to make my character goes through a rough, difficult, or uncomfortable circumstance that force him to draw on his memories. For example. Lucious Salizar, the captain of the RMH Taurus in Nexus Rising is forced to face the pain of living as an orphan in a factory as he's examining the engine room on the starship for a virus. Jack in Holding a Hurricane is forced to question his values as a space drifter when the beautiful princess Camilla Chase hijacks one of his ships.
Hey Abbie, I thanks a lot for all your vids. Those are so helpful. I know it's not the topic but I have a huge problem. I do wanna write multiple stories but once I start one I got bored at some point and I just jump on another one at a point where I've started maybe 10 stories with all the development that goes with it but none is ever finished. Please I desperately need your help. If you should guide to one previous video or if anyone here can give me advice.
Thanks ❤
nice example, Abbie
First❤ and i love your vids
this is why I prefer first-person narrator where it's easier to allow the character to "editorialize" and to show the reader their misbeliefs
Is the link to the live class working for anyone? I also don't see it on her site
I miss your vids abbie
I typically tell and THEN show.
"He was mad - like, really mad. His face was red, boiling over with fury and his fists were clenched, knuckles white like hot fire.
Heyyyyyyyy 💗💗
A good guide for Stragglers on writing road.
How do you access the archives of the live training, if you missed it?
Wow