Blue October - Hate Me (10th Anniversary) [Live]
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- Опубліковано 21 лис 2015
- Music video by Blue October performing Hate Me (10th Anniversary) [Live]. (C) 2015 Up Down Records
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My fiance committed suicide early this year after a battle with drugs and alcohol. I got sober after being an addict for ten years when he died and still am 7 months later. This song hits home and I cry every time I hear it. --------Updating this 2024: still sober, 8 years now since May 17, 2016. I rebuilt my life and will never go back. I am overwhelmed to come back and see such love in the comments❤
I'm so sorry
Katie Starling When the truth comes out,the tears flow down, the hand across the the face seventeen years in a coma laying down in waste well it’s half past dawn the weapon drawn maybe? I’ll just Fall Down ~ The year of seventeen
It's been a year since this comment. I hope you're still going stong
Hope you’re doing well ☺️
May his memory be a blessing
When this song came out I was battling heroin addiction and my wife and children went thru hell. I used to play the shit out of this song. Now 9 years clean
Good for you man.
I've been sober since July 4th, my bday, 2010.
+Derek D thanks
Me too buddy, also I have a great analogy for you to use when people ask you why you hooked and this really explains to them how and why it was so hard to kick the habit. "That feeling right as you climax... only it doesn't go away for hours, and why would anyone want that feeling to ever end." Keep going strong man, the day by day starts to get to 5 year by 5 year and that is just an awesome feeling to get to.
good on ya mate!!!
Nicky_Z Great job just dont give up I know it was probably 3 or 4 years after I quit that I didn't think about using especially on pay days when I had a pocket full of cash. But after that I dont ever think about it. It used to bug the shit out of me when I would see it on TV or a movie now someone could probably do it right in front of me and it wouldn't bother me. but that aint going to happen cause I dont talk to anyone that still uses.
Great Job I am proud of you, and you and I have incredible wives!!
Mad respect. He sings about his darkest moment, he hates reliving it, you see it in the eyes. But he pours his soul into it for others. Thank you.
What courage it must take to listen to that message before performing.
@NM-ii7pb I cry every time I hear it being an ex user I don't know how he does it with so much heart n soul
@@user-ib1li6ee9jhe does it because of the love of his mother.
All his songs come from the Core of his every being he has a dark story full of pain & regrets but he did I love Justine i woukd give anything to see him live ❤❤❤
Yes! 🙌 Your comment is on point ! As addicts it's hard to articulate emotions this simply stated.. also he held himself accountable by facing and amplifying his voice of reason (his mama) the sadness of his Mama's light is what gave him strength in the end. His driving force ❤
If this song hits you hard, you've had a tough life. God bless the broken.
I’m 40 and feel so alone this song hits so hard
@@briangray9639I hope life gets better for you
@briangray9639 same here, I'm 45. His music is so inspiring... prayers for you 🙏🩵🙏
We're all broken, just some more than others.
@@briancase-franko9893True, but I don't think being broken should be a dk measuring contest, though.
Reminds me of how selfish I was hiding in my addiction as my mom was dying of cancer. How I made amends to her moments before she died. Just her and I, she hadn’t opened her eyes in weeks. I spoke to her and made a promise, she opened her eyes and took her last breath.
I’m still keeping my promise mom.
You're a good man. I'm very glad you had that moment with your mother at the end, even if you thought it was selfish to hide your problems. I don't know why this comment resonated so much with me, I'll try my best to build a positive and open relationship my mother more while I still can. Thank you for giving me the answer to a problem I didn't realize I needed to fix rather than ignore.
@@EkayYT Thank you for your kind words. I am now grateful for that moment we had. Whatever issue you’re having, it can be overcome. I hope things go well for you and your mom. I will keep you both in my prayers.🙏🏻
As mother's day is around the corner. And as a mother myself. I can say that we ALWAYS LOVE OUR CHILDREN AND WILL ALWAYS BE THERE WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT. And as our Heavenly Father forgave us, us mothers forgive our children. Keep your chin up.
I’m so sorry to hear about your mom, & your battle with addiction. That’s definitely hard to swallow. But you made it to your mom! That’s what matters. The past is in your rear view mirror, & remember to try & focus on the right here & right now.
It’s difficult for anyone to truly understand unless they’ve been there themselves. I know that your mom would be so proud of you. Stay strong & never give up regardless of what knocks you down. You are not alone! 🙏
@@MsTParanormalSecurity Thank you so much. I do believe she sees me and is happy with who I’ve become. God Bless!
5:16
Just knowing that those hundreds of people are all singing along for hundreds of different reasons just gives me chills.
Imagine how it makes the band feel.
Your avatar and name are really creepy together.
whatsupbato Thank you.
What gets me is the violin at 4:10 ish. man... just those three notes give me hardcore goosebumps. And then all of those people after that is just icing on the cake.
Awesome Thinking
woah
Genuinely one of the most stunning performances I've ever seen. Just chills throughout. What a song. What a band. What a voice.
You should see his Open Book tour. My wife got me tickets years ago and she was never a huge fan of theirs but thought they were ok. After the show she sat there and said "this was easily one of the best shows i've ever been to"
Gives goosebumps Every Time
raped me today raped me tomorrow thats 2 nights of rapture
Good song but far from one of the best!
It is the best isn't it?
I'm 62 years old and listen all types of music, but never hear someone so passionate. Gave me chills and God bless him for sharing a message about mental health and the demons in our mind!!!!!!
@Mark S hey Mark how about I book you in for therapy mate. You obviously have a wire loose or you would never say that to another human being especially in the comments of such a song. For shame Mark for shame.
Bless your ♥
I will be 61 and still battling depression and addiction drugs for 30 years and depression for as long as I remember 50 years. I listened to all sorts of music. And I have only known about this and Sully Erna for a couple months. Come true about myself. But I think it's to late. I'm constantly thinking of suicide. I didn't succeed the first time. Why does God allow so many Demons enter My mind daily.
@@Larry-dq7mn Listen to Cannon Graham, "When the sun turns black". It's a sad song. Just remember so many people battle what your going through. Hang in there!
Unfortunately the mental health providers ARE the DEMONS.🤔😳😞😠🤬🤯🏥⚖️⚰️🪦
You can never understand an artist till you hear them perform in person. This is intimidatingly powerful
I close my eyes and I'm just on the edge of a warzone. Earshot. Safe. Sad for how many lives I can't save.
So true
I've been blessed to see them live 3 times and each one is fantastic.
@@petew4779 😌💞💞💞
Got lucky and saw them in a music theatre in Minneapolis with only 1500 people roughly. One of the best 2 hours I ever have had. Into the ocean closed it up.
Walked out like what the hell did I just witness?
This song always reminds me of my son. He was bipolar and struggled with drugs and alcohol from the time he was a teenager. He finally slipped away almost two years ago. And as far away as he has gone there is no 10 minute period of time in the day that I don't think of him. RIP Con.
Im very sorry for your loss 💔
Im sorry for your loss brother and thanks for sharing your story with us 🙏
I apappreciate the strength it must have taken to write this ,I hope you find the strength and peace to keep going ,,✌
I’m sorry for your loss.
mir wurde bipolar auch diagnostiziert. aber ich bin depressiv aus genetischen gründen. und medikamentation und chemie bringt es auch nicht alleine. es gibt andere dinge die wichtiger bei einer depression sind. halt in einer gesellschaft.
I come back every couple weeks to remind myself how incredible this performance is. Damn
I used to be a bad Alcoholic and I got sent to State prison for 2 1/2yrs for drinking related charges, I hurt my Family and my Mom through the years of being a crazy man, this song came out when I was doing time and I used to listen to this song and it would touch close to home , hurt my heart and soul but also inspired me to be a better person. I'm 17yrs sober and my life is beautiful, I love this song.
All these comments of people sharing there pain and how this song helps them cope is so fucking beautiful. Nothing on earth brings people together like music. Keep fighting, you're all fucking amazing
I know it's been 2 years, but I am sending lots of love and positive vibes in your direction, because you're pretty damn amazing yourself! ❤❤❤
For real
Music is everything....
❤🖤❤🖤❤
Love your comment...yes we all fight battles.
With all my love may we all keep fighting.
Does anyone else get choked up when they hear this song? Tears every time. I picture my father singing this to my mother for putting up with all his alcoholic bullshit.
Crying tonight watching
Yeah my children's father sang it to me after he moved across the country to possibly get over his heroin addiction. He overdosed last year
I do...I like this band.
@@FarieFly I'm so sorry, it is so sad that the kids won't have him to be here for them and being the person he would have been if not for opiates, heroin. It's a disgrace how openly and legally big pharma & doctors have addicted millions of citizens from about 1995 until now, with all of them totally uneducated about how to help people get off the very drugs they themselves got them addicted to. They were and still are the ones handing out life destroying drugs that cause untold suffering to people, when doctors even say an oath to "first, do no harm". They've done arguably the worst harm you could ever do to a person, causing their enslavement to a substance that then is a life long fight for their lives, in so many cases, lives that are then cut so short by overdosing, suicides. Then there's no way to know how many died going through withdrawals, bc whether a person tried to get off opiates bc they wanted to or were in withdrawal for other reasons, then they died, there'd be no drugs in their system, so how would a coroner ever be able to rule that the stress & hell their body went through in the previous weeks of withdrawal had killed them because their heart could not take the constant symptoms ranging from diarrhea, the shakes, cold & hot flashes, every part of their body being in 24/7 pain, nausea, vomiting , no sleep for a week, unable to eat or hold down water, legs jumping, mind racing.... so statistics don't show the thousands who died at 30 to 60 years of age for no other apparent reason but withdrawals.Most heroin addicts began by taking pills, that is why I say all this.
Oh but I guess it's ok, all better now because Purdue Pharma paid millions to our government (in fines) for lying about how addictive roxycodone, oxycontin, oxycodone was while they watched MILLIONS be tortured physically (because of the addiction they fertilized in the 1990-s til now.) for two decades, then watched hundreds of thousands die, after each had given Richard Sackler every penny they had to try to pay the $300 to $600 a month for the HIGHLY addictive pills scripts, (and 200 to 400 a month for every dr visits). They killed hundreds of thousands people of every age....and walk free right now, no victim was EVER apologized to, much less compensated, our government got a big 18 million dollar tip for letting them kill us...
Murderers belong in prison or on death row and the failure of anyone to ever hold anyone criminally liable for the addiction & intentional mass murder here of a generation or two is inexcusable !
Always tears fall , when listening to this, even if I’ve had a great day
To Justin Furstenfeld
As a mother who lost her 19 year old son to broken heart disease, (cardiomyopathy) I don't see how any mother could ever hate you.
Sending you my love and respect for keeping me alive one more night, so many times. 💙
Took me years to get sober, for me, for my kids, for my parents and my loved ones. Hardest thing I've ever done. But I did it. This song makes me bawl
Hold steadfast brother, fighting the good fight you can empower your loved ones.
Do you consider still smoking weed sober?
@@kalevala29I was an alcoholic, been of sober since 2017, but then I was prescribed medication for it and anti depressants, now i need my medication everyday and sometimes take more than I should. It’s swapping one addiction for another.
Me too
I always go to the comments to see what others are going through. We are all in some sort of fight. God be near you and comfort whoever reads this.
I think we all r still fighting the good fight, the one that matters. God bless u.
I was injured in iraq and i struggled with pain pill addiction afterwards. Im going on 15 years clean now. Marines stood by me the whole time helping me. We never leave a Marine behind. When i was injured i lost 5 Marines and i was their squad leader. I live for them now. Semper Fi!
God Bless you Sir.
Thank you first of all. The fact that even a single one of you died for us, let's me know I can't end my own shit or, it was for nothing. I'm sorry about your brothers you lost.
Semper Fi from San Antonio Tx
Semper Fi Brother! Stay strong and live your best life for our Brothers that no longer can!
Thank you for your Service and Sacrifice, Sending love Brother
Been off drugs for 10 years. Song still hits me in the heart. Im so glad my moms still here to see me 10 years clean, been out of prison 10 years and i present for myself and my loved ones today
I love how he tries to get the crowd into it and they just let him sing. There is so much rawness and conviction in his voice you just gotta let him do his thing.
Its likely just post mixing.
I seen that also! To much conviction in his singing to interupt.
7 years free from 20yrs of Herion addiction and this song still hits me right in the HEART..... THANK YOU..... I LOVE THIS SONG🥺👍👍👍👍
Hope you're still ok. That's awesome that you overcame that.
I don't know you, but I'm proud of you.
I stand with you!!!🙌
Well done, stay strong...❤
11 years here. Hope you are staying strong🙏❤️
How can he sing it even better than the recorded version? Always such a meaningful song, his talent is huge, and this band is superb !
WOW over490 likes on this, thanks Blue October Fans !! Theyare so great I love that so many appreciate them as I do !!
Live he can do whatever he wants. Slow down, speed up, etc. Recorded it has to fit within the slotted time. I agree, live is 10x better. Also love how he makes audience finish the song
Everything is better live
@@wedge5896 I don't think so, I've heard many who sound horrible live.
The difference is no synthesizer no coverings no doubling. I do like the original, but this is raw. Anyone who is in music will tell you how hard to perform this live. Well.
@@jessezamora5777 That's what I find so amazing of the few groups or individuals who are like Justin & Blue October & are such professional artists at peak levels in their fields. They're so well rehearsed & in tune with eachother, from doing this live so much, putting their all into the quality of each performance, you can FEEL it, even through my crappy lil laptop's speakers (lol). They'll sound just as great as their recordings & even surprise me by sounding even better live....somehow...'cause that's not easy to do for any musician or vocalist.
At their top ability, at their best, all calm, collected, well rested, & in a studio focusing on recording their piece of each song to record it excellently; that's one level of skill & artistry right there.... But there aren't many that can surpass their own recorded versions of themselves, regularly, while perfoming whole concerts on the road, traveling, feeling worn out a lot of the time, then the adrenaline that must start pumping on stage, the ton of energy used on stage....you'd think it would HAVE to result in less than perfect performances.
Not with these guys. It's an all out amazing show EVERY time & that's so impressive to me. These dudes sound perfect live, impeccably planned and executed shows.
They are so under-rated it makes me mad 😠. This song should be playing everywhere. This song is timeless.
It was in 2005 but it's an amazing song I agree
It got a ton of radio play back in 05 but yeah, it should get more play today...
They did a show last week and he still sounds the same! 17 years later. Simply incredible 🙌🙌🙌🤟🤟🤟🤟
@lynny1979. Wow would love to see them perform live, what’s your favorite song of theirs?
Such a haunting sound. I've listened to this song 30,000 times but this is the first time hearing this particular live version. Crying.
Same
@@jasonpoesl1529 ty I'm going asap!
Same here, it’s crying fest 😂🥺
@@jasonpoesl1529 so true 😭
Me too 😭😭😭
Probably one of the most powerful live performances I have I ever seen.
💣👍🇮🇱🏖🤗
Look up alice in chains nutshell on mtv unplugged! It's a heavy song and how Layne just sits and rips into it fucking awesome
I would agree it's the most powerful live performance I have ever heard the voice and musical instruments are out of this world
this just literally crumbled my soul.. wow!
Look up Manchester Orchestra with "The silence", live version. Completely different, but oh... So powerful...
I've listened to this over and over and over and over for my little mom who passed away so suddenly. She never ever stopped worrying about us. No matter what we did, no matter how many times we all got irritated with her, she texted, she called, she prayed, she talked to us, calmed us down, comforted us, chased us around when we were wild. I wish I could have been a better daughter. This song helps me grieve, helps me cry, helps me see I'm not the only one with this heartache. This song is so powerful it's unreal. I miss you momma, I miss you so much.
I am a motherof 4 now grown kids and mine ran me ragged at times too. Like your mom, I never let anything they did or said stop me from doing my best to be in their lives somehow, to be there for them if they wanted me there. I never stopped believing ihat they'd get themselves on a good path one day & that when they did their troubles would be just memories of the experiences that allowed them to grow and become more mature adults. We've all been young, so it's not hard to remember how I was when I was young, all the bad choices & mistakes I made. As a Mom I think we just hope we can teach our kids something, or be there for them in tough times, to encourage our kids....we hope we'll be able to do something that'll spare our kids from going through some of the consequences we may have had to face from our own screw ups. We try to teach you enough so that you might avoid some of our mistakes. I too would like to say alot of things to my own mom, if I could, right now. Sadly we don't even realize alot of stuff until our parents have been gone a long time. We all have many things we do, good and bad, while growing up & a mother never gives up on her child, in her heart, she never thinks her child won't one day conquer whatever they need to
I'd want my kids to know, should I leave this earth and years from now, they have regrets or things they wish they'd said or done, regarding me -I'd want to tell them to not to stress over such things becuse I already know, I KNEW all the moments they'd go through, when they suddenly understood how I was at different ages. Your mom knew too. Our hearts know, at a level no other relationship comes close to, our kids and there's a special love that's eternally binding us to our children's hearts, the d.n,a, in us that we pass to our kids, pieces of us... that our kids carry. Mom knows, that's what I'm saying, she knows and she understands, she went through it too, being a child of a parent and all that goes with that.
God bless her soul 🙏
I lost my dad to suicide during his battle with alcohol in December of 2016. From as far back as I can remember up until he died, this is the only song we all could agree on during car rides. Now, almost 7 years later, it’s the only song that will still bring me, my mom and sister to tears. Beautiful song. Thank you for sharing your story and making this song. It holds more than just a “space” in my heart.
Anyone else like this better than the studio version?
Yea id have to agree lol
Tucker Chapman I prefer 100 times this version than studio!
Holy crap! This blew me away!
Me me me.. This is my favourite version
This version is amazing' sounds awsome live
Thank you. You're the reason why my father and I are still alive. My father suffered with depression and anxiety. With your music you helped him as you did with me. Thank you so much for what you have done for me, Billy, and all the other fans around.
-Felicity
Having listened to tens of thousands of songs in my life, and being a songwriter myself, I can without hesitation say that these are some of the most vivid and poignant lyrics ever committed to a recording, especially in the first few verses. An absolute masterclass in using language as a precision weapon. You don't just hear, you feel.
❤
I struggle with alcohol addiction. I drink half a bottle of Jameson a day. I really wish I could be sober, and this inspires me to try.
Hang in there! You can do it 🍀
Since losing my beautiful husband I have become dependent on alcohol.....The very thing that killed him.. 1 litre of brandy a day, and I hate myself, what I have become, and most of all the uncaring selfish person.
Even the fact that I have a new grandson does not help me to fight this battle.
PLEASE read my comment above , I've just placed it here.....find your strength too ; if I can do it you can too ( although that must be so damn hard to believe for you )...I know what you're talking about and its already a big thing what you're telling us !!
Please check in with us my dude. 💓
@@user-vy8nw9mh3dhugs friend. Truly.
This song touches my soul, and every time I hear this version I feel like I have the strength to continue... for another day. Thank you Blue October... music matters!
Yep
Music is propaganda made by Israel
Music is the Universal Language 👍🏻👊🏻
@@actualideas8078 lol
The music is life.
“How could you do this to me” this always gives me goosebumps 😱😱 nostalgia is an understatement
Fr's.. me too....
I said the same thing many times in my brain. How could she do this to me? Was it worth it?
I'm 78. Never once in my life did drugs. I´m not an alcoholic. I listen to Hate Me non stop. Why????
Cause you see what others other than you have to deal with. Nothing wrong with this but others have a different harder path. Sucks what the devil will do to us. Whether the devil or not, it's curiousity what gets us to see what others deal with but helping someone get on the right path is the best!!!
My friend. This song can be about much more than addiction. If you have ever hurt someone you Loved. If you still have regrets from your past, this song will touch you. It helps that it is a beautiful song as well. ") This song has touched me regarding many aspects of my life. Though I rarely admit it, I didn't use drugs or abuse alcohol until I was 36 years old. I ruined my life, created regrets, and hurt the ones that I Loved. Here I am today, 6/18/2024 I've been sober and drug free for 4 whole months....I feel amazing. I wish everyone who's suffering right now could see me, talk to me, see they can fix themselves too. It was so hard. The reward is worth it! I do not worry I will ever go back. When you fight so damn hard for something, that something becomes intrinsically powerful and it's something you will never want to relinquish . I send me strength to everyone who needs it. Fight like damn hell and be honest to yourself as no other person in your life can be %100 honest to you. It's just part of being a person. Do not lie to yourself. Start there friends.
Currently struggling with alcohol abuse. I remember listening to this song when I was a kid. Never meant anything to me, until now. I relate to this song almost lyric for lyric. My girl is on the fence of leaving me. I’m about to lose my job. I have kids with one on the way. I need help. This song helps me. I listen to it everyday
You can do it buddy, you're strong enough, you can win this battle. I believe in you
I have been exactly where you are with both alcohol and heroin... I want you to know that you are not alone and there is hope. PLEASE do not be afraid to reach out, in some way in another, for support. You got this! 💯
Dude I'm Wishing you the BEST. You can do it!! Do it for Yourself, do it for your Family!!
Stay a Live, to Let others know It's a STRUGGLE, A STRUGGLE WORTH GOING THROUGH TO BE HERE FOR THE LITTLE ONES WHO WILL ONE DAY, LOOK UP TO YOU!!😊
You just admitted, “I need help” I am convinced you’re finding that help each new day. You are not alone you’re never alone. Please, get right back up when you fall. We keep learning with each mistake, as long as we don’t give up. Your children love you. You are their hero❣️❣️❣️
You got this dude. Hope you are okay and things are better for you. I can send you some resources if you need. You are not alone and you can do this🖤🙏
For when the roles were reversed... I was the addict & my son often took on the "parenting" role.. Im sorry son! Your the best.. ♥️
2nd October -7yrs clean & sober..
I have hope. Covid made me a homeless beggar. I'm working again, have a roof and food. Thank you for this song. Thankful
Prayers to you Christopher Thom.
Good man. Keep doing what you're doing, you deserve a good life.
For real
Glad u alright
you can win that fight, my man -- stay on the path
This is one of the best live versions of anything ever in the history of us crazy assed humans.
It really is for me. One of the best❤❤
You guys saved my life with out you I don't know if I would be here your songs so relate to me and mean so much love you guys Phil
Celebrated 10 years in November.
Took me 49 years to get here.
Friends are long gone.
Destroyed career , body, relationships but I have today.
Hopefully tomorrow.
Be well…
So I'm just supposed to stand here as a grown man and listen to this with tears rolling down my face or what
yes i am
Yeah, that sounds about right.
@@mattschroeder3432 my son too. It's okay.
If that’s what happens.. then yes!
Don't let toxic masculinity make you feel less for feeling brother.
Anyone listening in 2020? Hit that thumbs up for Justin 👍👊
then watch 'Home' by him, so happy for him
👍🏻❤️
@@deecee2204 I have its definitely a great amazing song
I am in 2020😇😇😇
You called?
I've heard this song a million times, but hearing this live and just seeing the emotion this man put into this performance just brought tears to my eyes.
such a universal thing ; addiction.....and still its such a lonely fight and struggle. Its very special to read all the comments here and with other songs/music that tell us how sad and painful it is , but at the other end all the rewards and respect to be found once you find the strength to kick it. My heart cries out for all the immense loss and pain I read about here , the irreversible damage we've all caused. Things that can never be turned around no more and things we've lost forever. Without going into details I myself have struggled with multiple addictions from my teenage years on...going from one to the other with also several at the same time. So I recognize só much here in all you people's words and stories..and I so remember the fight and misery from being totally caught up in addiction. Still proud I kept some small piece of character to not go into theft and crime to fund my abuse. Cauz everybody knows how eventually how much money is involved only to supply yourself with just another days supply. I've lied and manipulated my ass off to about everybody and every degree possible , and man did I get good at that....a master I dare to say. It always made me feel bad and feel ashamed but also I justified it all those years by telling myself one fine day I'll make it all up .Countless times I told myself tomorrow I'm gonna turn this around , I will prove to myself and everybody that I can do it , and show the world what I'm worth....to find that tomorrow would be just another day telling myself the same story....and once again giving in to my addiction(s).....and so this went on for years and years...for over goddamnit 4 decades !!!..until finally the 23rd of December 2018 when I drove my van home só all fucked up and totally drunk after at least 12 hours drinking I didn't even realize what I was doing , smashed my van into some parked cars , drove on , got stuck in the dirt/soil at a roundabout ( first moment I kinda panicked and realized what was going on ) where someone spotted me and called the cops . Also there I managed to get out and drive on to find the cops waiting for me when I finally got home....don`t ask me hów but I made it there.....keeping a long story short > arrested , court case 6 months later and lost my drivers license for almost 2 years , community service and a huge fine also > I took that all gladly in the knowledge I could have easily killed someone that night....for which I'm still tremendous grateful that wasn't the case. So everything they threw at me I ( rightfully !!!) I took , totally ashamed as I was but still so very happy it only resulted in material damage and practical problems. Not a day goes by without thinking of how bad this could have turned out , and how I could easily have ruined my life let alone someone else's.
Now turning 59 this coming summer and sober & clean for almost 5,5 years now , since that fridaynight dec 2018 I haven't touched any substance or drop of alcohol. Never , never ever I could have imagined how my life would be after 40 years being an addict , I have a successful business now , I feel pride and joy in what I do , I look people straight in their eyes again , I am a man of my word and unreal how rewarding it is to experience now how people appreciate me , and value me. Still there are the thoughts of drinking every now and then...in a responsible way like others can and do but NO !!!!!....responsible use of whatever is not me > its ALL OR NOTHING with me , so I stick to nothing and whenever those thoughts come up and the next morning I wake up I'm thrilled I didn't`t give in. Never ever again !..most of you will recognize this > those thoughts will never leave you ; you are an addict for Life. Accept it and be proud of yourself....and for those still battling and struggling > find help and open up , that's the only way ; open up and be honest !....you will find its never too late , and people are there for you !...STOP destroying yourself and those who love you , pick op Life again and start LIVING IT!!!...the rewards waiting for you eventually are unimaginable . Life is short and there aren't as many years as you might think !...I see this has become a pretty long comment but I needed this I guess , and if there's only one person out there that might benefit by my story I would be só grateful
LOVE !!!!
My ex wife played this for me. I never struggled with drug addiction. But I have nasty Anxiety and Depression. This song brings me to tears every time I hear it and it has for 10 years. It’s just to familiar how a sickness can make you alienate everyone you love!!
HEAR THAT BROTHER ,
This song was like therapy for me when it came out. If you’ve ever self medicated to block out the world you know what I am talking about. Every time I hear it now it reminds me that I am a survivor. Anyone going through it now, sending you hugs. You are not alone. ❤️
Thank you so much im very proud of you please stay clean and know we love you and your beautiful soul.
Thanks Grace
I'm on the other side of this song. It really tears me up to hear it because I wish he had a story like yours. I can't win it for him so had leave. Stay strong my friend!
Understand
Nearly 7 months sober after 10 year battle with alcoholism.
This LIVE version is way better than any pre recorded version, his voice is so amazing!
Loneliness is slowly killing me. Depression hits hard but this song is just so beautiful to me. Thankyou God thankyou Blue October for great music and this great song !
Be strong
I love you
@@yourkarma2250 aw thanks love ya bud
@@gibsalisbury I'll try
@@jessejames8162 💓
This has to be one of the best live performances I've ever seen. Dude can sing.
10 years, and I only know this band for 2 years. What I was missing for 8 years!
I just discovered them this year, bout 7 months ago to be exact, they are absolutely amazing, no clue how I ever went without hearing of them!
+Sarah A. molyet Oh wow, yeah I just turned 27 in October coincidentally haha, was definitely missing out!!
+Sarah A. molyet Have you heard their new song home? I just heard it ahh it's really good. can not wait for the new album!
@everyone: It's never too late to find out new music. I discovered them "late" also, it was 3 years ago. And I'm glad I did. Saved me my sanity when going through the most devastating heartbreak I ever expirienced in my life.
+masonicdevil Well said
this is one of my all-time favorite songs, BY FAR!! Sober living isn't easy. Definitely LOVE IT though! Almost 7 years now!!
I love you and thanks for sharing! Going on 3 years next month!!!!
❤❤❤
Starting the journey x
❤
@@susanmoriarty7533 You got this.
This song reminds me of the absolute hell I put my mother thru do to my addiction. Most parents would have given up on a child as rotten as I was! She NEVER gave up on me. I wouldn't be here without all the sacrifices she made 😢
Right there with you. My mother NEVER would give up on me. I put her through HELL! But she got sick and I made a promise to God… if he let her live, I would straighten up and take care of her until the end. I made this promise in 2014 and kept my promise. She passed in September 2021. I struggle everyday, but am holding on.
Everyday is a new day 😊
I'm a mom and I have never given up on my daughters. They are my heart and soul. I am sure your mom is proud of your accomplishments. ❤❤
thanx Mom!
You'll have kids one day my dude and ull know why she did... u haven't gotten the lesson yet if u dont have kids yet, that women's a Saint and u remind her every fkn day!!!!
A mother loves you the most in this world 💜
Wow. When the violin comes in I both laugh wildly and cry profusely. Still. After all these years.
Justin, Ryan, and Jeremy have melded together so well over the years (along with ). And so complementary of each other. None of the ego you see in so many bands. Just pure love of music. They've had many great rotating members.
yes I'm manicially crying, but i think its because my bipolar is acting up
I don't think most fans care about the rotating members as long as Justin keeps writing and singing his heart out. :)
Rosa Rossa
actually a lot of fans do, just like slipknot
Yes. Slipknot is not the same without Joey as Korn was not the same without Head!
slipknots new drummer kicks ass
4:08... That voice...The violin... The bass guitar... 4:49 The drums and violin...5:00 The keyboard... 5:17 The crowd.... Damn..... Chills.... Perfect
MELISSA BEACHES I also got the chills....
Goosebumps when the violin started ☺️
Brasil????
You mean that voice throughout the whole song? Lol. But I see what u did. I feel the exact same!
Just heard this live in Seattle a couple days ago. His voice is hauntingly beautiful on this recording, but so so SO much better in person. I felt his emotion like it was running through my body. Unbelievable talent.
I'm seeing them live in Atlanta in about 2 weeks. I can't wait!!!!
I am the Mother of a Son with a severe mental illness and now a drug addiction. This song brings me to tears. So much heartbreak and suffering trying to save him from his inner suffering and demons. I have lost pieces of myself in the dysfunction and have become the person he projects all his rage upon. A Mothers love endures but at such a personal cost. If my love were only enough to cure his mind, body and soul but it’s not. I live in Great pain and sorrow. This songs pain resonates with me.
See what's good for you Sister 🫂 ❤
If as a full grown adult, this doesn’t bring you to tears and humility
Take a look at yourself this day.. fix yourself ... music like this heals ... don’t be afraid the shed those tears ... it is all that pain leaving your body. Embrace your new strength . God bless you all that are struggling with a demon in your life
You will win whatever war you are waging right now at this moment. You are not alone
If you cried as I did.. while watching this video ... we cried together
Amen
That was beautiful.
I hope the people that need to see this, see it.
You are loved and we will help
Ok nice one I’ll give you a cookie. Weaklings and drama queens abound this world. Unbelievable
Thank you for crying with me.....
I am.
I rarely post public comments but in this case I feel I need to. Blue October this song speaks to my soul. I listen to this song over and over and my emotions spill out and I cry. I discovered this live version today. The clarity of the vocals, the message, the heart is a blessing. I don't mind crying, I'm thankful for the wave of feelings it brings. Life hasn't been easy. Never having friends. Contemplating an end that is easier than living. Thank you. Beautiful song.
Jason Lamberts speaks to my soul as well. Couldn't have said it better.
Jason Lamberts hang in there
Hope ur alright Jason
This is actually what I want to comment . So emotional expression
My brother, you are not alone you aren’t the only person feeling what you feel. Life’s a trip and we need to learn from it. Sometimes friends are a bad thing and sometimes their a blessing. In the end our own actions bring consequences either good or bad. Someone will enter your life and be a light in the tunnel. Keep rocking on bro
Best and most raw version of this song. It really hits a nerve with me after losing my mother to a long battle with cancer
I was in a relationship with an addict with mental health issues when this song started playing on the radio. We listened in silence & he squeezed my hand at the end. This song sums up everything so perfectly and so emotionally. I still tear up when I hear it. However, this version is just beautiful.
I love the passion and violence he brings at 3:22. Until he says "That's when she whispered 'How can you do this to me?'" where it becomes really emotional.
Alexandre Deshaies I read your comment as he was singing it. ironic.
Me too Kailee ! Weird!
Not weird, just possible. lol.
LYRICS:
I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you loved me, just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me?
It is I that wanted space
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you
I'm sober now for three whole months it's one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch again
In my sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah, ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you
And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling, "Make it go away!"
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered, "How can you do this to me?"
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah, ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you
For you
For you
For you
Great song!
People who have experienced this can understand every single word.
What is being said before she says this is your mother? Is that her screaming that she thinks he’s dead?? I’ve never been able to understand what is being said before she starts talking to him on the answering machine
@@teresahickey3021 "if you're sleeping, are you dreaming? If you're dreaming, are you dreaming of me? I can't believe you actually picked me." I believe it's a song. Not sure what one though
2006 was a very dark, hard and an alone year for me. This song was my constant. I was suicidal. My family was no help whatsoever. My mom was a narssist. This song hits home even 17 years later. It reminds me of everything I have fought and over come. I am married to an amazing guy and a two year old son who are my life and give me purpose. Those people who helped keep down hate me today because I stood up and refused to back down to their will. Thank you Blue October!!!!!
I love that you are alive ❤ I live that you have happiness. I had a year like that on 2015 leaving a 25 yr relationship with a narcissist. I also have a great life now. ❤
Im glad that you are happy now!
God
Just wanna say to you , and ALL others ,,,, that hurt that you feel can , and will go away with hope , PRAYERS , and of course GOD
Arguably the best song ever written.. Almost everyone I know loves this song.. hits home for me.. 3 years sober from m³th
My daughter is bipolar. This is our song. We're not In the best place right now that shes 19 and gone but I know itll get better. It has too. I love her. I pray she has this breakthrough. She deserves to be happy
keep on keeping on . one love
Love and prayers to you. Hope it has.
Clean 15 years... This song humbles me every time I listen to it, I understand!
Kudos to you.
I love this song. from Blue October. It takes me back to my battle with sobriety and severe depression and anxiety.
I feel you totally cause I like to listen to this song when I am depressed or down on myself and makes me think of my life the last 12 yrs.
Back in the early 2000’s they played at the Florida State Fair and I was plowed out of my mind. Been sober since 2013 and this hits so deep of a life wasted with depression, addiction and pushing people away. Coming to term with life is difficult and is still hard to get through having a Wife and kids makes life worth it
Sober 39 years. One of my favorite sayings when I'm not working a good program is "I've got cockroaches in my brain!" So I googled that because I know I am not alone as a human being... and this popped up. What an incredible song and delivery. I just got chills. God bless those who are in recovery and those who are destined to be in recovery. You are never alone in this walk toward recovery, the road does not end. It just gets better and better!
Can i ask you what did you use and how long ? But more importantly how did you got clean and how was your recovery? Meetings ? Love&light
@@Finnish69 8 ball, meth. Pretty much a visitation from the dark side put things into perspective for me one late night. I had been going to meetings, but still chipping on the side. AA was where I was led for recovery. Through a bunch of cannot explains. Even my sponsor was "appointed" to me. We still are friends today (she has 2+ years more than I) God is good. He took care of me even when I didn't want Him to.
This song breaks me every time i hear it. Sober now for ten years.
Congrats man 👍🏻
@@adambutler3700 thanks
Congratulations bud ✊ 1 day atta time ✊✊✊
This man sings with such emotion! Straight from the depth of his heart. Such an,
Amazing band..Thank you blue October.
Should try to see his open book tour. It's basically story tellers but it's incredibly deep.
And with a sad heart, I say bye to you and wave, kicking shadows on the street for every mistake I had made, and like a baby boy I never was a man, until I saw your blue eyes cry and hold your face in my hand.. and then I fell out yelling make it go away.. just make a smile come back and shine as it used to be, and she whispered, how can you do this to me, hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you, hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow, hate me so you can finally see what's good for you.. how can you do this to me, OMG.. This Song lived with me for 10 years, what a band, what lyrics!!.. Sending Love and Respect from Lebanon.
This song is just pure therapy!
Agree! ❤️
- I have never had nor struggled with an addiction of any kind. I can't say I know what it is like..
But I can say that I am thankful for people like this who share their struggle and story in such a beautiful way. It helps those who ARE in fact going through a rough time. 😔
This song is so beautiful in every way. Thank you for sharing this with the world 😇
If you are reading this, and are struggling, remember: Be strong. Be courageous. You ARE worth it. You DO matter.
Focus on ONE positive thing that you believe is beautiful in this world - and pursue it. Pursue it like it is the only thing that matters. Listen to it, chase it, be around it, experience it, learn from it, help it. Your new found interest in 'IT' may start to help you overcome your demons.
Godspeed.
Edges Of Earth thanks x
100%
No struggle here either but it does help to understand and empathize
Edges Of Earth thank you. This struggle is over thank god but new ones have replaced it
What the f*** are you doing hanging around all these people that have all these problem if you've never had a problem I think you're full of s*** good luck be real
You helped me though , i aint got addiction but its hard to keep swimming in this everyday life
31 days sober, ending 2019 right and starting college Jan 2nd. If you’re in this fight along w me, keep going. You are beautiful ❤️
Moses Grijalva Yaaay! I’m so proud of u and grateful. With much love and solidarity ☮️🦋🧚♂️ 💙
❤❤
Stand strong bro. you re stronger than all that fucking garbage.
Just keep going you are stronger than your addiction. The physical passes give your brain time to catch up. Just know that it's not ez but sooo worth it .
I hope you’re still doing okay
I've found myself falling into this mindset quite a few times. Depression just doesn't go away. You fight and you fight and you get exhausted. That's what I hear in this song. Exhaustion. Running through the ideas of anything and everything you can do to get away for just a moment of peace. The intro always makes me think of my grandmother and my wife and the rest of my family. They're the reason I stayed when I was at my lowest. They're the reason I'll keep fighting. Depression WILL NOT DEFEAT ME. Also let me add, that was an ELECTRIFYING performance!
The struggle is real. Music my escape. Thank you for your beautiful music.
@heatherhastay2373. Indeed the struggle is real music does help a lot, what’s your favorite song?
4:27 he drops the octave below what he's comfortable, finds his range off mic, and kills it on the first try.
Whoever are in their personal war with anything, i hope you all can go through the tough times successfully. Stay safe always.
This song comes on whenever I struggle. Hearing a comment like you said helps. Thank you for that
When you can hear the pain. It touches you deep.
As a veteran of 20 years I relate to this song. I battle alcohol, depression and PTSD. This song means a lot to me. Being homeless twice and now barely back on my feet I feel like a failure to my family and unworthy of their love.
Hope you doing better, one step at a time ok. ❤️
You admitted you had a problem, and that’s the first step. My husband is a veteran, and we both have PTSD, his service related, mine from SA as a child. Just put your feet on the floor in the morning and do your best to get through, hour by hour. You’re still here, so I’m proud of you!!! Hang in there friend!!
Thank you Ms. Casey
Playing this for my ex who passed away. I’m raising our daughter to be a beautiful upstanding young citizen. And I’m sorry. Sorry for not being there enough when you needed me my love.
It haunts me to this day that I’ll never see your face again.
I’ll never love another.
seriously one underrated band
Lifting everyone who reads this up in prayer. I pray that you make it through addiction, suicidal thoughts, anxiety and depression, and self harm.
Thank you❤
Incredible song, listening to the voicemail his mom leaves him makes me so sad and happy at the same time. It makes me always realize how much I love my mother.
You know that feeling, that sometimes you want to say something about a thing, but you know whatever you say, however well you put the words into the sentence, it will not justify that thing. I feel that now. I can not say anything about this.
Just listen and appreciate that you listened to this in your lifetime.
DustInTheWind exactly
exactly how i feel when i listen to this version..
well put
This is my life at this moment...
DustInTheWind yeah tbh
This is even better than the recorded version
Absolutely!💙✌
Lyric, it is better isn't it. Underrated and overlooked for some reason...
Wrong
@@XCriminal1980x
It is his opinion. An opinion can neither right or wrong. They're subjective, to the person voicing their opinion.
Having said that, this IS even better than the recorded version. So move along, Internet Gangster. You actually chose that name? What, was Watch Out We've Got A Bad Ass just too on the nose?
This is a very deep song but the meaning of it speaks volumes. Dealing with someone fighting depression/addictions is serious, remember you can be the reason they make it through a day. Be that PERSON! Share love its free ❣
This is a song I have come back to every so often in my life since its release. It hits different every time. From when I was in HS and was fighting a deep depression that I couldn't remember how I even fell into, to college when my drinking got out of hand and my brother had to keep me afloat, to after college when I fell into drug addiction briefly and hit the point I knew it was either stop or lose myself to it, this song makes me remember why I get through it and why I dont want to let my issues hurt those around me. This song never hasn't made me hurt in a way I need to to remember I'm alive
This is my son and I. He's 23. I'm 43. We have had our ups and downs. But no one will ever love you like your mother, and mother's, no one will ever love you like your sons.💖 No matter how you feel or what life throws at you.
This band has been with me my entire life. It’s been two years since I self harmed and I finally feel happy with myself. I just want to thank Blue October for being their even if they don’t realize it.
I know you posted this a yr ago, but I just wanted to say I'm proud of you. I am a mother of a child who self harmed. I send you my love and prayers.
I absolutely love this song. Did NOT expect to be floored by his live performance but WOW. This band needs more appreciation.
Wow. 🥺 I knew this song when they first released it. And today 08/05/22, i still get the same emotions and feelings when listening. I was standing in my back porch listening, a storm was rolling in, and at the very end of the song, when it gets real emotional, it started pouring the rain. 🥰
The concert video just won Platinum at Houston Film Festival! Very proud of these guys!
Better than the recorded version....crazy good performance
What a song, I remember when it came out i was in Treatment facility and still battling these crazy demons, Again and again been reallly rough 5 days sober today, And i am grateful 🙏, I want my lifes book to end with a happy ending, What a battle drugs and alcoholism is, Would not wish this on anyone. God is the only 1 who can take them demons off your back.Thanks for letting me share it helps me more than anything. Pray i can continue this fight..
You’re worth it my friend, I hope my comment finds you well. Keep up the fight, it’s hard, I know, but you got this…one day at a time.
Thank you, It is sometimes 1 min,,to 1 hr, it adds up.thxs for reply
When the violin comes in at 4:11, it’s gives me goosebumps, such a beautiful song.
I loved my husband. I really, truly, dying-breath, lip-biting-seeing-him- enter-a-room-after-14-years, fought-his-demons loved him. But damn if his demons didn't take him piece by piece, until there was only a hateful shell left, bent on destroying anything beautiful because he didn't think he deserved it. I don't know if he'll ever win the fight, but our kids and I sure lost. 💔
Wilder Kitchen I hope it turns around for you and your children. Your words hit home, dying breath lip biting is hard to walk away from and harder to forget.
I battle becoming this every day. I don't want my family to lose their joyful memories of me. I'm so sorry you lived through that loss, but you helped someone similar stave it away for another day...
💔😢
😢💔💙❤️🙏🏼 always keep your head up
Stay strong for your babies. Hope he makes it for your yours and their sake. You can do it
His voice is so much better
Absolutely. The moment he started singing I immediately loved it even more than the original ❤
Currently going through my own demons and depression….hopefully I become the better version of myself and shake these demons trying to take hold of me 💔
hey man, hang in there. Things get better, sometimes with work or if lucky, naturally. I came here to cry and sink down but something told me to reach out to you instead. We got this, we can get through it, not always the way we imagined but thats the beauty in getting there. I wish you happy holidays and a new year of change and peace. I dont know you, but im sending love. Please pass it along.
Currently been fighting these demons that want to claim me so bad. But man do we need to fight cus the devil knows that if he breaks us he breaks our kids friends and family. We fight this battle for them!
This song will never get old!