Your relationship shouldn't feel like a competition of upping the score on each other, find what makes you happy about each other, and also what what makes y'all love each other.. appreciate the small things just as much as the big things
I agree to disagree… I think competition in relationships can be a positive if it’s trying to better each other and not degrade one another. Money shouldn’t be everything.
No that's the problem....we need these convo's to go all the way down to 14/15yr olds especially the females. This will stop hot girl summer unwanted or unplanned pregnancies. Anythang after 25 in *our* community is pointless. Usually By then she already a Baby Mama, Already in crazy debt, unmarried and a whole charity case to any man that gets her after that. We need to prevent that the conversations need to be heard by the females who ain't bust they seal yet for better direction B4 the BS happens!
@@ascendingLOTUS i agree....but when ppl treat someone a certain way, you can make them feel less than....women have a way of emasculating men and men can make women feel less than a woman.....basically lets be mindful how we treat one another😊
I got married at age 23, my husband stop me from working after a few month of us meeting. I didnt want to stop but I love him and we decided how our future gonna be. He said his wife's duty is to take care of the home, I stopped him from eating out (fast food) cause as a wife I cook 3 full meal, he came home every day 3 times per day for a hot meal. I clean, he never had a dirty home and he does everything and I took care of the home and we were both happy until the day he passed (R.I.P.)
I think the issue that is faced in 2021 is that both men and women want to cherry pick parts of traditionalism that benefits them in relationships. At the end of the day do what is best for your specific situation but true traditional relationships are the ones that you see last for years.
@@gloriaadegboye2186 you’ll have to inform me on those relationships because I am speaking from the perspective of an African American and what has been observed in this country’s history as it pertains to longevity within a marriage. Because here traditional marriages are the ones that have years behind them. Divorce rates in the US have greatly increased since the role reversals on both men and women’s parts. And correct me if I’m wrong but from what I have observed most immigrants who do migrate to the US tend to be married (for years) with strong foundation for family.
@@nks4822 Is it really about how long they’re married for or how happy they are? 😂 Okay, y’all want longer marriages but maybe they aren’t happy; maybe one party is just staying for the peace or for the kids. Maybe having more divorce rates is a good thing if they’re happier people. If marriage is causing trauma, sadness, unfulfillment and toxicity then maybe more people should get divorced OR here’s an idea actually create a model of marriage that works for them instead of going by this or that person’s advice on how to ‘be a man’ or ‘be a woman’. 😂. Do you think it’s just statistics? Why do you think lots of children from ‘traditional’ homes end up deviating from their parent’s models or wanting things to be different in some ways or another. If it was so perfect, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation of traditional or non traditional. Immigrants having longer marriages may not have as much to do with the traditional systems actually working as it’ll have to do with one person having the upper hand financially and the other person ending up suffering if they leave: there’s more to life than statistics 😂✨
Saying intentionally hurtful things, no matter the context, will eventually destroy your relationship. And, if the only thing that can cause you to refrain from doing that is financial need or want, that’s problematic.
Ya understand, so what they are all basically saying is they respect a man who makes more and can pay for everything , so the respect is based on money . Laughing Out Loud Laughable . And if that be the case, you don't love and respect the man to begin with , so why even be with him. You gotta respect the person you with, so why would there be any reason to restrain you'r insults in the first place. I hope fellas are listening to these women. They care about ya money , not you!
I completely agree with you. If something does not sit well with you, talk to me about it. Can't believe that people intentionally say hurtful things to their partners.
Not one word about bringing love, protection, reliability, commitment or vulnerability to the table on EITHER ends. Rico didn’t explain anything he even wanted from a woman to begin with, and that’s honestly the biggest issue in dating in 2021. Men want to compete with what women have or vice verse. And 50/50 shouldn’t exist in a household when you add children into it. There’s more to relationships/marriage then the women clean a house all day and the men work and bring the money home. This was actually sad to watch.
I was looking for someone to say this! That what do you bring to the table question is an internal personal preference first of all. If your shopping around and decide to pursue a woman your inviting her to be in your life she wasn’t seeking you out hell your interrupting her to sale yourself so she’s also supposed to contribute financially for a fully grown man. I mean what’s the difference between him and a roommate at that point. Men don’t like the traditional male responsibilities now days.
@L Nixon I understand that. It All depends on what you deem as traditional. Traditionally… the men have provided and protected whereas the woman did everything else that she mentioned ie: cooking cleaning etc. He completely negated our “traditional” roles by stating he can pay for all of those things which is absolutely correct with the new age allowing everything to be at our fingertips however it’s our traditional responsibility’s. What men need to realize is this is a personal question they need to ask themselves before vetting woman because she could be doing xyz and it’s still seen of no value. Especially if she doesn’t LOOK like his ideal woman and another woman that looks like Halle Berry comes along doing the bare minimum that chick will get accommodated for her short comings.
@L Nixon what is to be a man? Providing and protect is a role. To you and to the society it’s being a MAN! Like what? That’s a role and both are roles which can be fulfilled by either gender.
This panel isn’t mentally mature enough to have this conversation or have any foundation in their relationship. Each relationship dynamic is different and why’s their mentality of the relationship solely cantered on who can do what and materialism. People don’t go into marriage saying okay you do this I do this ONLY. There’s a balance. Who cares who makes more as long as the bills getting paid and you living the lifestyle you want. If you can disrespect your partner on that then sadly your not ready for a relationship. Lastly most people end up with people who are in their tax bracket so this isn’t relevant to majority of people. And in a marriage why would the house be only one name???? Lol. This convo is outdated, do women not work in this day and age?? Have kids? If your concerned about finances so much don’t be a relationship with someone equal as you.
You missed the sub-text. This conversation is really about defining roles in a relationship. You should have financial conversations and negotiage with your spouse.
@@bigfishenergy7722 they were clearly not talking about defining roles. It was more of a materialistic convo about what the person is bringing to the table. These convos should have been had BEFORE marriage. And why you dating a person that is not to your financial standard. The women defined her role in her own relationship and the other guy said he can easily pay for these things so what exactly does he want. He needs to have that convo with his partner. Their convo had no solid foundation on what a marriage is build on at all. Where did I say you shouldn’t have financial conversations with your spouse??
You are absolutely right. The fact that he dismissed the mental, emotional love and nurturing. And not every women knows how to make a house a home. Respect is needed on both sides. Once he down played the value of a woman to a servant. He wouldn't have any respect for any woman.
Like the mentality is if i could pay for it what do i need you for.............. Sir if you could pay for everything gone head and pay for it then....... im saving you money and time by being all these things in one and you making noise because you pay for things i can afford as well?
You are so right! This panel didn't even hit the encouragement and support a spouse can give their significant other.... The last thing is money but living in this generation thats why people get in relationships.....money and looks. You right they not ready for this convo
What happens to RESPECT and PARTNERSHIP?! This whole conversation is a red flag… don’t expect from someone else you aren’t able to provide (spiritually, emotionally, mentally, etc.) If you’re not where you want to be keep growing and doing the work. People make life so hard with this competitive stuff… uuggghh
Period. Some of these folks are looking for some that doesn't exist lol. This is not what relationships are about. People focus on celebrities and social media and see certain relationships they know nothing about and compare them to their own life, is one of the problems.
I don't know the name of the original person who said this(oops) but he said the following. Men nowadays need women to actually like them. Back in the day, women (most) could hardly do anything in society. They needed a man literally to buy a washer, a house whatever. Things could bot be in their name. Now, that need is completely gone. We can do for.ourselves. So in reality, if these men aren't cool/fantastic (whatever) to be with, not wanting to grow together and also as a person, in short a person you want to be with long term, they cannot (in a m/w relationship) get a woman. The dude with a bandana will have a problem
My wife made more money than me for years. For the past years I've made more than her. We still respect each other, love each other, and support each other physically and mentally. When woman say they want to be taken care of, alot of it has to do with mentally. We always put God first and that's why we work.
@@Salutations26 as a man with pride and ego, we think financially is the only way. Paying a mortgage, car note, bills doesn't make up for not emotionally investing in your significant other. A woman as well can question, what do men bring to the table that a woman cant.
@@rsar5678 of coz that’s part of it.. but as a men first and foremost u gotta make sure your family has a roof.. that’s a way of showing love to your family.. it’s not just about bills.. it’s love.. them long shifts sleepless nights to get food on the table. It ain’t a game it’s coz I love and care for my family.. what else u want a man to do.. weep and worship the ground woman walk on?
@@bigazTV we are suppose to treat our wife to the highest standard. I learned in marriage counseling, that the man is like a thermostat. Yes, we are the man of the house but the wife controls the setting. If you want to see how a marriage is working, look at the wife. If she's walking around bitter and angry, than certainly the man isn't doing what he's suppose to do.
@Cave Man no I don't care about the big house and the Lambo. As long as I got the basics and people that love me. Why waste life chasing money? None of that stuff impress me.
@Cave Man and that's your assumption. I make $1k a month online with no overhead. Me and my gf work part time. our money go on our baby and food, and bills, and investments. As far as time goes I'm very free. I get 4 days a week off. Could be more if I cut back on cigarettes. Comfortable is what I would call it
“A man who asks a women what she brings to the table is testing her self-esteem” - My father -Erin, you should have said encouragement, inspiration, warmth and beauty. Femininity. That’s the answer. That’s it. That’s what men need and want.
Lol but if a man replied to you with that as what he brings to the table you would life at him in disgust. Everything you listed is complete bs, wtf is feminity? If a man said he brought masculinity, warmth, and handsomeness he would look like a clown.
@Macahl Jett that’s not insecure that’s wrong y’all swear and assume stuff what men say why y’all do that tho ? why he just can’t straight up kno what you bring to the table so he could know what’s getting into but you wanna call it insecurity and it’s not
Everyone keeps talking about the table the table..... there is noooo table....there is no foundation as a man or as a woman in our culture. The table has been broken. The kids have no place to eat. Our culture so strong on independence and singlehood, that the table is broken.
Yes because a man with money is not sticking to one women he’s messing around with 100’s, hence why all the billionaires are getting divorced for cheating on their wives. But if you sir want to me pay all the bills and do all the work while a woman sits at home all day and puts her feet up, while only offering you sex then so be it.
@@kingtimmy9491 poor men cheat rich men cheat....what's your point? If you're approaching a woman asking her what she brings to the table (as if you don't already know) then why are you even approaching her? Obviously the same applies in the other direction. This question is meant to demean and reduce a person to their surface value, simple as that. Your feelings seem hurt you're literally EVERYWHERE in this comment section. Relax.
This discussion comes from so many women saying they require men to make $x00k a year but don’t have anything to distinguish themselves from other woman
@D. S I said paying all the bills. Say again, where is her 100K going? Paying for toilet paper is not the same as paying a mortgage all the car notes the electricity phone bills and everything else under the Tuscan sun
This is a black conversation...breaking down every monetary thing smh not understanding the true role of husband/wife. You never hear white and or "other" discussing these trivial things in the office
Simple one of the biggest myths is that there's a "black community" black people on average are predominantly about self/the ego, us as blacks are don't speak to our children about generational wealth, financial stability, law of equivalent exchange and comradeship. We don't know how to come together and should that happens based on numbers it would be our grandkids to see and experience those changes. Heck just from the video alone you see we haven't gotten down communications 🤦🏾♂️ We are so far behind it's embarrassing.
@Natasha Evans BINGO! And that is the sole problem in our community. Too many black men and women never seen a functioning healthy relationship, so many have NO IDEA what love is... nor what it takes for a relationship to survive
There’s this white women in my office who anytime I ask where she got something her answer is I don’t know my husband bought it. She’s an assistant like me but she’s an assistant to someone higher up. I can tell she is well taken care of because she is really feminine,a sweet lady,she’s older but doesn’t look run down,always come looking put together. Just by her energy I can tell she’s a good wife,happily married and brings peace to his life because her presence is always missed when she’s not in the office. She has such a calming aura. I don’t see that a lot with older women. Many of them are run down and broken down by life
He is only speaking for himself because it’s a lot of men that are depending on a woman to take care of them because my neighbor upstairs man doesn’t even work
And I bet all those women are miserable af she isn’t happy taking care of a man but a man would happily take care of his wife that’s the difference especially since the divorce rate in the west is high and it’s done by women 80% if the time
@@broco6608 Lmaoo wtf r u talking about men are still happy taking care of there wives that’s why 80% of the divorce rate are from women it’s just men are waking up and not falling for the bs with how modern women act anymore especially if the best thing you can say is cooking and cleaning she didn’t say trust, loyalty, comfort, or even be his peace
The 50/50 relationship is a bold ass lie… if we’re being completely honest there’s no incentive to stay or see a relationship through if there isn’t interdependence. This requires vulnerability across the board that most in this generation aren’t willing to provide.
The part missing from this convo is not everything women and men bring to the table is ‘dutiful’ or ‘monetary service/providing’. Everything listed by both these men and women can be purchased - I can hire an electrician, I can buy a home, he can hire a maid etc. But you can not buy peace of mind, companionship, someone who is there for u thru ups and down, someone to hold u accountable, someone to bring balance and balance in your life…and the list goes on…
@Lola I'm sure guys date and attract several variations of women so that's almost saying most women are alike since majority of them aren't delivering peace love yes, good food yes, good times yes but peace that's like finding an unicorn. There are men from all aspects of life different financial and social classes that don't say their woman brings them peace so that means they are attracting and getting women of different financial and social classes and still no peace.
If everything a woman brings to the table can be bought, why do you care about having a woman? If you have the money, you should be happy alone, or with another man.
Bedroom fun can be bought too, if a Man doesn’t want to have any kids then why buy the cow when you can just get the milk for free (or at a discount)? Marriage isn’t worth it for Men in 2021… Just stay single and enjoy life fellas.
@@manyrubies nah, you just don’t understand Men. And usually when women don’t have an actual argument then they deflect and make excuses and have no accountability
@@JasonDrvmz I’m not sure what I’m deflecting or arguing when it’s my comment YOU are debating against. I just repeated myself in confusion because your “argument” agreed with my comment… Just buy everything a woman brings to the table and avoid relationships with women altogether sir 🤷🏾♀️
When both sides realize that love is what needs to be brought to the table then these silly debates wouldn't matter or exist. When you both love eachother its comes out of you to make sure your partner is good period. Respect eachothers needs and realize you in it together and work with what ever situation your dealt with because you make things work out the pure enjoyment of being with eachother. These debates are for relationships based on business deals fr fr. Or the unloyal lol... First you pick your partner based on success and then you ask.. "what are you gonna give me to not cheat or leave your ass." 🤣🤣 "I trade you one house for cleaning" lol 😆 "wait let me go check how much a maid cost" 🤣🤣 yoooo I cant with this bull....... ohh "this is the new generation and Im a little bit of the old generation".....just please shut up.......Not In this generation, in past generations, nor in future generations..... time does not have a factor in the fact that deep down non of us want to be with anyone who measures you like this... This is crazy...."Everything you telling me can be bought"..... huh? And who the hell is anyone to say who is willing to pay the bills or not. This video is not about relationships at all........ unless you consider it a business deal.
This whole video is a clown panel!!!! There is not a DROP of love in these relationships! I am dying laughing.I now see why no one is together. I bring the money! I go to Target and get the tissue!!! I am done!!
Bur if men are taugt to be the rock 24/7 and no weaknesses, provide for themselves, get all these or required to have all this $$$ and charisma and funny and passionate and caring etc then is there any room for the women to fill? Other thsn just physical ofc
@@ceratedsign4825 I think there is still space for a woman in this perfect man's life. He still going to need support, sensitivity, empathy, and help. Almost everything that these women are lacking
@@brilliantlyblessed559 i think also men would need to value these more, myself included, after being pushed to be so independant and closed, barely any one of these things are prized or put on a high importance level to most guys n such, theyd just say "we can do that" thinking about this stuff myself I even found me questioning myself too, maybe society need work idk..
Because times have changed mam. Feminism says "Men are the enemy/ disposable and that women can do it ALL by herself and don't need men" The issue is now men have now listened,that you don't need them, hence little to no approaching. It's the objective reality if you tell a customer to leave your store don't expect him to return. And one of the biggest myths is that there's a "black community" here in America. It's still strong and powerful in Africa though
“PAY”.... handy “MEN” .... what do you provide yourself in the relationship. If you’re living together and a handle man is needed to fix something that’s just something that comes with living in a house in general that’s not a pat on the back for doing something you SUPPOSE TO DO.
But my dude , you can’t pursue a woman and then turn around and ask them what they bring to the table. Why are you pursuing me ? What I bring to the table is my attention, my energy, my presence, companionship, consistency, love, a piece mind, make you feel good when you going through a rough patch, raise your children in to decent human beings when you busy chasing the bag. Women keep the family together, if you loose that stream of income or temporarily go broke, it is your woman and the family that you built together that will stick by you until you are back on feet. Now tell me, who can you pay to do all of that with a warm and genuine heart?
What you said is way better than what the other girl said, cuz all she said was materialistic stuff that can be bought with money instead of what you just said. I fully agree with you
Tks for your comment. I never understood that, how can you ask me what i bring to "the table", and its for both parts. But specially if you come to me! If your here, you should know why!!! The most important thing is that serious people and with manners dont ask that question... They get to know you by asking questions about what they need to know and they observe! Asking that seems clasless to me for both parties! Im just saying....
Rico don’t want a woman or a relationship he wants an employee . He doesn’t value a woman clearly … he got the game all screwed up . “ you only saving me $600 dollars “ well shit the Goal is to save money and give that $600 a job . Let money work for you not against you
@@Saveren_ I mean y'all can continue with this narrative but if u notice it's having less and less effect. To get u to say he's operating in his masculinity would mean he's doing something for u ? Y'all got to understand how that doesn't work in a cost analysis aspect.
This man really said that being an electrician is providing but when a woman does the same with laundry and cooking that's a service he can pay for?? So we can't also pay for that service then??
The point is that the man if he wanted to could do laundry cooking repairs and pay for the house all on his own. Most women can only pay for the house and do the domestic duties. They would still have to pay for car repairs and the electrician.
@@bunnyhunter264 that’s not true at all, if a woman wanted to be an electrician there is nothing stopping her to learn to be one, backwards mentality 🤣
The electrician spends the money he makes with his job on the woman's wants and needs. He provides money. Men can simply outsource everything modern women can bring to the relationship. Women can't outsource what men bring to the relationship. You can't buy yourself a provider with money. Men can buy sex, housecleaning, laundry service, etc. We can even pay a surrogate to have our children. A man can buy himself everything he want's from a woman. A woman can't buy everything she want's from a man.
@@benanders4412 😂😂😂 a woman can provide for herself, sperm banks exist, they can pay for sex and they can pay for an electrician, a plumber, a mechanic etc in fact there’s nothing from a men that the modern woman needs, she’s educated and well paid…
Please do not fall for this bait question ladies. No answer you give will be good enough. This is done to test your self esteem. Do not argue and go back and forth. It isn’t worth the stress!
I’m from CT which is one of the most expensive states in the country and not too far behind NY. You can definitely survive off 40k if you don’t try to live above your means.
@@reese85 I’m in Hartford. Again if you don’t try to live above your means you can be okay. 40k isn’t amazing but it’s good if you know how to manage your money but unfortunately most people don’t know how to do that. And that’s not even adding what your spouse is bringing to the table financially.
@@1227weaverb Hartford ct is way cheaper than Stamford ct! I don’t think ppl realize 40k a year is $800 a week b4 taxes, so after taxes it’s prob $5-600 bucks! That’s not a lot of money!
All this video did was continue to perpetuate the notion that men are only as valuable as their pockets in regards to the respect he receives from a woman. A notion I think is unfair to the women whose respect for a man is not garnered due to his pockets, but based on how he helps to take care of a household as a partner.
@@iffysd9864 Dude if you a man get your life together cause our 40s will be filled with options galore. Im at the point I can date a 25 year old one day and a 38 year old the next and im in between in age. The thing is both would have been married in the olden days, now they both single and independent. Fine with me.
This conversation seems very childish. I feel like watching children argue in a sandbox. A relationship is not numbers. This is not a competition. I thought it was more than that. Like equality respect love companionship peace... Smh
Exactly, any boy that compares himself to a woman or sees woman as a competitor is not suitable for partnership. I.E. homeboy with the blue sweater and earrings
But a woman with her own money can buy her own house. Wasn't this a conversation about women who make more? We don't "need" them anymore than they need us. Its just a hard truth they don't want to face. Guys can hire a maid and a woman can hire a security guard. Goes both ways.
@@KayGrier do we really have to fix roles though? Like saying I never looked as “providing” as man’s job or “cooking” as a woman’s. We know for a fact that both are capable so no one need to aspire to particular gender role in a relationship when the key word is partner.
@krispy kreme quick to insult someone you dont even know. I was just pointing out the irony in men saying they dont need women because they can hire someone to cook, clean, etc. Likewise, women can buy a house, they dont need a man for that. I think we need each other like I said to someone else because relationships are more than just ownership imo 🤷🏿♀️
I have been married for 20 years and my parents almost 50. I went into marriage wanting someone to love and enjoy life with...this tit for tat/finance talk guarantees your relationship will fail. Focus on supporting and making each other happy, that's how you sustain a relationship 💯
Ok but what if your family makes billions of dollars and your with a women that makes close to 10k a month which is nothing? What will she bring to the table? Cause ofcourse you're gonna spoil her and do all those things and get nothing in return except for sex.
@@migelrothschild4370 Your relationship shouldn’t be based off financial status. Relationships are or at least should be about finding LOVE not once did anyone mention love. I get the topic at hand but it is this exact reason why you can just simply be alone & don’t have to have that financial factor even be of question when you’re alone. Ppl get with others to offer them a relationship. You can provide money & shit to yourself that’s a given you can’t give yourself a relationship & love in that way.
The only thing I will say is I'm an advocate for everyone having something. I was raised knowing how to cook, clean, wash, some minor car work/housework, etc. I don't want my wife to ever feel like she HAS to do ONLY those things. When she's not able, I can take her spot. I also want her to have her own, wether it's a little job, business venture, plan, etc. It's heartbreaking to see a spouse looking left high and dry if their mate passes away or makes a complete 360 and decides do wanna do "what's best for them". It also shows a little ambition in the spouse.
Yeah! Its supposed to be a team effort! I think many men arent being raised to do those tasks so they expect their partner to do them. So thats where the resent comes in from working women. If you work then you arent “taking care of your man” if you dont do house duties too. If the woman stays at home and they divorce, then its like shes a gold digger to these type of men. Its like you cant win if you dont have a team mindset.
Marriage ain’t no 50/50 it’s 100/100. We both out here trying to get to 100k a year. We both are striving to get 800 credit score. We both doing the kids homework. We both cleaning the house. Savings account for the kids. Sport activities with the kids. Married folks just get the job done. You just don’t get married and pile everything on one person. #facts #carryon
I think Rico/dreadz should pay for all these services, sex, cleaning, food, etc., add up the amount for a year and times that by his life expectancy. Nothing wrong with that, I mean he can never have kids but hey, he doesn't seem interested in a family or love or that sort of thing.
Lol exactly since he dosent see value in women and think they dont bring nothing to the table and men do, then he might as well get a man since he thinks there more valuable.
@@JasonDrvmz but isnt him paying for all them services extra bills when he can just do them for himself? Those are basic skills women and men need to know to be a functioning adult. If men think single life is the best and women dont bring nothing to the table then okay, but why not save the extra money being spent. If i can do something myself in my home why would i want to give my money to someone else (who might not even do that good of a job up to your standards)?
No disrespect to any of these panelists but all of you don't understand what relationships are built on. It doesn't matter who makes more, it's how you handle finances. First off that's why you keep separate homes until marriage. To many times young people equate what a man or woman make as a staple of a relationship. A man is supposed to be a Protector, PROVIDER, which means that he provides for the household, now there is NOTHING WRONG with his WIFE contributing to the household together. Stop playing HOUSE WITH PARTNERS WHO ARE NOT READY FOR MARRIAGE. Keep it SEPARATE SISTERS (KISS).
Actually in can agree to that point. The biggest mistake people make is, to use a realtionship for validation. Yes it is nice, that people seem to care about you. But, what happens if the Partner is getting bored. And switches to someone else. In the End, the goal is to have children and make sure that they can grow up in a healthy environment. And i also think, that people should marry when they are ready and at a point to keep a family safe. Im 25 and im in university. I was in the army, did Civil service aswell. A family will be something that i would be ready at 30. I need to finish unmi, start to work and save some money and have my life secure.
If he makes 200k a year and she makes 80k and he pays for all the bills. Where is her money going? Because it sounds like with that lady that her money is her money but his money is their money. Rico is actually right. You're not offering anything that he can't pay someone to do but you can't pay someone to take care of you financially.
When someone asked my husband why he married me he said “ She is pretty, she can read, she is nice to me “. There was none of this well this is what she brings to the table. He wanted a wife and a family and for 18 years I have been his best friend, wife and the mother of his children. I love and honor my husband because he is a GOOD man. I have been his biggest cheerleader, care giver and even added to our bank account through money saved and money made. For all of that he has promised to take care of us until the day that he dies and even after. My husband values me as his wife and our children because he is a MAN who values family.
It’s 2021 all basic traditional things can be bought (from protecting and providing to house work) so it comes down to what can they do for you that money can’t buy (companionship, loyalty, love, nurturing etc)
@@22ccb it takes more than just MONEY to make a relationship work you moron !!🤦♀️ i been married for over 13 years & still going STRONG. So i KNOW what makes a relationship work! lol 😆 & everything that feminine man in this video is saying, is incorrect. He’s Mentally immature & will find himself being a Bachelor for life 🤷🏻♀️ Whatever women is with him will be Disappointed & unsatisfied 😂 i’ll pray for ya’ll
After watching countless Kevin Samuel's videos and being in agreement with his stance and outlook on secure relationships; i.e. marriage. This discussion seems soooo redundant and devoid. No mention of having or raising children; a legacy. Just buying a home as a couple to cohabit and watch each one's pockets.
Right. I guess Rico will end up buying an egg, hiring a surrogate, and hiring a nanny to raise his kids because he doesn’t see the value in having a wife. Rico was soo focused on the fact that his money can buy anything he wants. This man does not want a woman. Notice the other men on this panel don’t have the energy that he has.
@@thatlovegirl12 nah guess you didn't care to listen to what he actually said. He's calling out the bullshyt yall females be talking about. Basically and generally speaking, y'all don't contribute shyt. Everything that lady said she "brings to the table" is a service a man can either do for his self or pay for. So either y'all females stop the con job or get ignored for Whole Foods and Maids cleaning service😉
Trust is scary cause if he paying everything and she cheats then she wasn’t happy from the start.. or if he cheats then he feel he can get away with it cause he pays everything
Pro tip: If a woman likes you she will spend on you. Women have money. I've seen women take money a boyfriend/husband gave them and give it to another guy (the guy they really like).
@@TerriTerriHotSauce Pro tip: Men cheat the most now and they spend money on women that aren't their wives/girlfriends all of the time ( the gal they really like). Pro tip Two: Broke men cheat more than all other men including wealthy men. If he's broke and with a high earning woman, he'll be spending on women that wouldn't be desperate to deal with any of that. ( the woman he really wants to be with if he was a top earner)
The fact that the guy said he is paying for and willing to pay for other things needed for a home that are traditionally done by women shuts the entire discussion down - people, especially men don’t pay for things that have no value. Only men who don’t have the financial means to afford a woman ask questions like this; men who are financially secure know a woman’s presence alone is sufficient.
So women are for sale or selling themselves? What you on? 😂 “afford a women” clearly not independent or broke. This current generation women work and they should contribute to household expenses or finance period. Not acceptable for a man to pay every and the women don’t pay nothing.
Yo the woman with blonde hair has personal issues that needs to acknowledge and heal from. How can you say publicly on the internet, if the love of your life makes less or hits a hurdle and is unable to pay the bills. Is willing to degrade him making him feel less than human for not able to pay for the bills. Anyone that was raised with decency and morals would never ever do that to someone they love, especially if its their spouse. Chris Rock it best - Women, kids, and dogs are loved unconditionally, but men are only loved under the condition they provide something.
It seems to be conflict between traditional unions & “new wave” unions.. find someone who wants what you want & keep it moving.. Rico basically said that a woman has no real value because her entirety is service based which can be paid for.. but women were created/wired to be “help” mates.. when we push the boundaries & become BOSSES we are then TOO MASCULINE.. y’all need to make y’all mind up.. smh. I would like longer episodes please, very interesting topics & I love the variety & input of this panel ☺️ Ps: Im like ERIN!!! Its the SAGG in us !!! ♐️♐️♐️❤️❤️
Woman are not made to be help mates. A man is her mate in her point of view. That’s the problem. Patriarchy is the problem. Cause the goal of it is to oppress of someone and take advantage of that. People need to get out of it and change the culture cause it’s not working and it can only collapse for good in the future.
Nah, you have it mixed up. It's not that becoming "bosses" makes women masculine to men. It's that the ability for a man to be loved is directly correlated to his ability to provide. So many men who for whatever reason, are not financially stable, will attempt to bring women down in order to make them a more suitable partner. If women really want to end patriarchy, that means getting rid of the silly gender roles too
@@ahmorgan what said was to get rid of silly gender roles. They are just roles, when you are single no matter man or a woman, I’m sure you are providing for yourself, cook, clean, fix things around the house. So no one need aspire to a role that to by gender when the key word is partner. All these roles does is can’t let People freely express themselves. Some people are naturally dominate wether a woman or a man. Some woman are dominate in character and want to lead. I never looked at providing as man’s job. I hate this society. I really did growing up. I do have the freedom to live and define my own relationship however I want to, but what majority holds , I do not want to participate in such institutions rather have a partner and freely define my own relationship. I never looked “providing” as a man’s job. And i don’t understand if it happens subconsciously that a woman’s place secondary place for society. No it’s shouldn’t be that way. That’s why people should come out of so called “patriarch” ideologies. Cultures should change with time. I just hope and when? People should have the freedom to define their relationship and take up whatever role they are capable of or good at in areas where they are capable of leading. it should be up to the couple what they want to do. She is considered the breadwinner pays the bills, cool. They split 50/50, cool. He like to spend time with family and kids. (Wants to be stay at home dad). That’s his choice. Cool. What is up with this silly gender roles? When either of the are capable of fulfilling. As all as the family is going and system is working. Why does it matter or should it matter whose money?
This conversation is so annoying. They telling her to speak for herself, but they’re acting as if they’re speaking for ALL men. All men aren’t providers like they’re trying to make it seem in the first place.All women aren’t expecting men to buy the house, but the cars, pay all of the bills. It’s just not realistic to think that all women expect that.
Exactly. The average black man doesn't have housekeepers, chefs, personal assistances, etc...nor can he afford it💀. And he must not know there's a sector of men who have been tricking off on women since forever and will glady spoil a woman, take care of her, buy her a house, etc...in exchange for little more then her time.
Rico is so confused, "you can't buy someone to buy you a home." "But I can buy my own home" so... Same thing. If I can afford it, it's not an issue that I need someone to do for me. I love how they just overlook the emotional value of security and unconditional love of a friend/soulmate/partner. I feel like Rico low key hates women, he's always trying to say they are a dime a dozen. Yeah the girls you casually hit probably are, but a quality woman (and man) is priceless and they do exist... Just not out in these streets
I get the feeling that Rico do not hate women, but is speaking like a man who has been emasculated by women on several occasions throughout his life. So he talks as if he is always trying to display his worth as a man and present his manhood.
He’s just asking the question? If you were on the panel and described the emotional value of a parter/ soulmate then you would have answered his question.
RICO da GOAT. He speakin for all men. Some men dont have the balls to say what he sayin to women. So stuff he say sounds foreign to alot of women because most men tell women what they wanna hear in order to keep peace
Mr plucked eyebrows, dangly earring and headband wants to be a woman. He sounds jealous. He wants to be taken care of. Why not just come out? And 99.9,% of the guys agreeing with him don't even make enough to afford a housewife so this whole conversation is pointless.
No. He's wants some acknowledgment that womens little so called bullshit efforts aren't the same as what a man has to bring to the table. Just because you dust a little furniture here and there doesn't mean that equals a man having to go out and work 2-3 jobs to make ends meet. Foh
This is the Dustiest conversation I have ever seen. First, they were having discussions about Black men making $40k when the average BM in America makes $23 per year. So these men neither have a table or house or anything else. Secondly, if the man with the tacky bandana, dangling earring, and cheap jewelry does not see the value in a woman besides $EX, he neither does not want or need a woman. Thirdly, Black women, STOP trying to prove your worth to men who complain about being providers. These men are NOT marriage material.
Black men yall need to talk to each other because it seems you guys are the only races of men who ask those questions( ex: what does she bring to the table), who complains about providing, being a men etc. A lot of you make so many excuses for not wanting to strive in life, build and grow up as men.
It’s a cost benefit analysis, how does a Man benefit from all of that in 2021? A Man can get the same benefits from staying single as a married Man would nowadays so what’s the point?
@Lola Exatly!!! Bm are just lazy at this point. Lowkey I think they want to be provided like women. 🤷🏾♀️ They dont want to be with women but complain about us so muchhh.
Yes belittle black men but when people ask for the reason why I haven’t dated many black girls, it’s because of sistas like cassy cookie. If I belittle black women then it’s a problem, I hate mom and grandma, and I will get called gay. What I’m trying say is stop being a hypocrite when a situation doesn’t benefit your needs.
This whole "what do women bring to the table?" Debate is getting tired like just think... He saying he pays the bills or for the house that both HIM AND his Partner would be living in yet he holding that over the female head as if he's solely doing it to take care of her only. A shelter aka an home is a necessity.. A need for both him nd her without her he would still need a home still be paying a bill for the house... Hes paying that bill & got that house for himself as well not solely for her or to take care of her
Same for the women cooking nd cleaning are ordinary daily things thats needed and needed to be done. Part of a relationship and mainly the point of one is two people coming together joining each other lives routines and assests to make shi work and happen for the better everything makes a difference and counts its no true scale to weigh and balance the role of the partners in a relationship. Just live try to be happy together and work "life" out together cause it can be hard
@@Benjibarbie Nah cleaning for yourself is one thing. Cleaning up your mess in addition to somebody else's is something completely different. Same with cooking. It's less work to prepare a meal for one then it is for two. And I see your point but that's not the reason it's problematic when a man who protects and provides tries to hold that over a womans head
He not doing it solely for her but if he the only one paying for it don’t you think she’s benifiting pretty heavily off that. Don’t you think he could just pay for it his self and live there his self and she would have to buy her own house and pay her own note??
if your relationship is based on money and constant talk about money and whos not paying enough etc. and feeling inclined to belittle your partner who isnt making enough.. its not going to work. Men has stuff to provide on the table and so does women. Just depends what youre looking for.. meet someone that meets what youre looking for and if no man or woman has it, then stay single, simple. I lost brain cells watching this lol also everyone is different, some men like to provide and be the one to pay for everything, some don’t. vice versa.
Thank you. This is the stupidest video ever. May I supposed to take care of their women and children, and women are supposed to raise the kids and manage the household. All this, what do you bring to the table mess, is just plain ignorant.
To sum this up, I believe a relationship is based of taking care of each other and loving one another. It's about finding out what work for your marriage. I know a lot of men don't mind providing for their household with out complaints and if you got to question about your partner value is maybe you should find someone else
I’m married.. Ik how to cook Ik how to wash my own clothes Ik how to pick my own clothes Ik how to buy my own food.. I don’t need a woman to do that.. I also don’t need my wife to work.. my wife is my mental support system.. and mother to my kids..that’s it..if that is hard to do..that’s a problem
Rico really does not understand the difference between a HOUSE and a HOME. They are very different...One day when he grows up he will understand the difference.
This Entire Argument is Silly. If u want traditional be traditional and stand on it. If u want independence be independent and stand on it. You can’t mix both, they don’t mix. You can’t ask for traditional unless your willing to be it yourself. You can’t try and shame men and say they act like children (gender roles) if u want to be provided For (gender roles). Bottom line we need more healing & love in our community than trauma arguments. (I’m Talking about in the comments)
Just like we’ve seen in this talk (which was all over the place), there are many different opinions on what a “mans role” vs what a “womans role” is (notice I didn’t say female!). Individuals are going to bring different things to a relationship based on personality, upbringing, values, morals, occupation or job status. I think the best thing you can bring to a relationship is communication- so that you can talk about what’s important to you or expected of you in terms of the defined “roles” in the relationship.
Yea I agree with this completely. Everyone has their strengths and shortcomings, but there’s no such thing as 100% compatibility, nobody knows exactly what you want unless you communicate that with them clearly (and *always* respectfully for that matter). People focus so much on the gender aspect of this but individuals have individual wants and needs, and just because there tends to be overlap doesn’t mean it’s not on you to find out what your partner specifically needs and for them to make you aware of issues and how to help. Nobody is entitled to anything, but you (as a woman or man) shouldn’t expect somebody to put forward an effort that you don’t likewise put forward first. I think you are spot on imo, but that’s just my 2c
Well said. I think it's important for people to be honest before any activities happen on what they want in a relationship. Problem? People aren't honest.
rico made no point in the beginning the same shit he saying he can pay someone to do those things , is the same way a woman can buy her own house and pay her own bills and pay someone to fix what ever ....the point is on both side who wants to have everything and no one to sleep with at night, no one to share everything with....lets stop acting like shit don't get lonely on both parts yes men can have a different girl every night but is it someone you want around after you nut that brings you peace ?
in a relationship sense sure but thats not the point of my comment.....hes asking what a woman can bring and she answered...now if you dont care to have that cool but don't say a woman can't bring absolutely nothing because a housekeeper and a chef can not be there everyday all day
I just want to know,why is it her money and his money? I was brought up that we put our money together and make it work. Everything gets discussed and we keep it pushing. Or maybe I'm too old school
He's feminine because his existence doesn't evolve around working his body into the dirt to cater to a woman?? You bchs tell on yourselves all the time I swear
Ladies, the answer to the question "what do you bring to the table", is; UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. As this whole conversation showed though, if a man cant measure up to your material desires, then he doesn't matter to you at all, and that's why you guys keep failing the question
@Eve R. You disingenuous fuck. Stop going up and down the comments section spewing your bullshit. As I've told you before. The problem isn't women solely being concerned with a man who can provide for them, it's that women are more concerned with being able to live a life of extragance so they can feel better about themselves and show off to their little friends. Look at all the social media platforms that have women running around demanding men make 6 figures before they even look in their direction.
Incorrect. "Unconditional Love" is what you give to children not to adult mates. Love is conditional in relationships or there wouldn't be divorce. He's not your son and I wish mothers would stop with that emotional incestuous relationships with their sons. He's not your man, nor the man of the house. He's a child and needs to be treated like that until he reaches manhood where he needs to embark on that journey with the tools you've given him and hopefully his father has given him as well.
She said I picked out the furniture I pay the bills I buy the grocery It sounds to me that her job is mainly spending the mans money and stacking her own and by the way these things in the home would be done if a woman was there or not
Seeing how difficult it is to just get along with these types of women shows that they are just NOT worth it. Too difficult, too much drama, too much attitude and no real benefits. Just not worth it. Just listen to them 🤣🤣
Shit confusing. If I as a man make less but I’m still paying for everything. Wtf is the woman working for then? Like women just work to keep their money to them self and a man no matter what gotta pay most of the money? Like I just wanna know in a relationship what is a woman working for?
That was the stupidest comment ever. If the man is paying the bills the woman income should be going towards savings, mutual funds, emergency savings, vacation, clothing etc.
You can’t actually believe that her money is just going to herself. All women mostly say is that they like for the man to pay the major bills like rent, mortgage, light, water, etc I guess. But nothing about groceries, trips. Back to school shopping, haircuts, savings, car notes etc. But this works if the man makes enough to cover the major bills if he doesn’t then obviously she’s going to have to step in and help at some point. This argument is so stupid. idky this is even discussed atp.
Good conversation but ALL SIDES seem ill-prepared. None could really give a convincing explanation to those questions. REAL WOMEN KNOW THEIR JOB AND DUTIES AS WELL AS REAL MEN. The struggle today is SIMPLY THE LACK OF MORALS AND VALUES. I hear a woman say I can cook but I don't want it to be my job, but when a man say I can cut grass I don't want it to be my job then it's a problem. Y'ALL ARE NOT READY THAT'S WHY THESE DAYS RELATIONSHIP DON'T LAST. BUT DON'T GIVE UP YOU CAN STILL BE A BETTER MAN OR WOMAN, JUST AS LONG AS YOU KNOW YOUR DUTIES TO EACH OTHER LIKE: WOMAN NURTURES, INSPIRES, THE CARE TAKER, THE NUCLEUS, ETC. MAN: PROVIDES, MAINTAINS AND PROTECTS START TO UNDERSTAND THESE VALUES AND WE WON'T BE HAVING THESE CONVERSATION.
There is no 50/50 in marriage. I’ve made more money than my husband and now he makes more than me. We’ve never had a money issue. When he needs $9000 he can get just like when I need it I can get it. When discussing what’s brought to the table I bring myself. He can trust me with his feelings, his children, his burdens, his secrets. He brings himself to the table. I can depend on him, call on him. It’s beyond the money, the house, the chores. It’s about personality and compatibility
The answer is simple. Remove the factor of money and that's what each person bring to the relationship. When you remove the money you're stuck with being yourself. Learn yourself and that's what you offer. The end.
Marriage has basically been reduced to (or exposed as) a business transaction.
Is a 360 deal simple as that
It's always been that way... Arranged marriages have been happening for 100's of years
It's been that.
This!!!
It's been that way since the dawn of time.
Your relationship shouldn't feel like a competition of upping the score on each other, find what makes you happy about each other, and also what what makes y'all love each other.. appreciate the small things just as much as the big things
Exactly they're competing with each other is financial and monetary means towards each other
Its normally the women on that bs
Exactly where is love if you wanna buy everything
Well said
I agree to disagree… I think competition in relationships can be a positive if it’s trying to better each other and not degrade one another. Money shouldn’t be everything.
I want to hear a conversation with mature more seasoned group of people. More experience helps shapes a more nuanced opinion.
No that's the problem....we need these convo's to go all the way down to 14/15yr olds especially the females. This will stop hot girl summer unwanted or unplanned pregnancies. Anythang after 25 in *our* community is pointless. Usually By then she already a Baby Mama, Already in crazy debt, unmarried and a whole charity case to any man that gets her after that. We need to prevent that the conversations need to be heard by the females who ain't bust they seal yet for better direction B4 the BS happens!
@Lola Got Damn Lola is pretty logical she all thru this thread holding hers with valid respectable points. At least you don't sound like the rest🤷🏿♂️
You should probably look to start a podcast with that age of individuals.
Truth don’t care who tells it
Miyagi. You told no lies.
This whole video I didn’t hear a single person say a thing about doing things just because you love your partner.
Its tit for tat it seems
Marriage isn't about love tho, it's a business arrangement first.
Yeah, because that's bullshit. Love fade away if it ever was there, and most marriages end up in divorce.
Exactly
@Shay Bae perfectly put
It's not a woman's job to make a man feel like a man. That man should feel like a man no matter what amount is in his spouses bank account.
Keep.that same energy when they say a man should make a woman feel like a woman !😊
@@colinc5531 how can a MAN make a woman feel like a woman? 🤦🏾♀️
@@ascendingLOTUS i agree....but when ppl treat someone a certain way, you can make them feel less than....women have a way of emasculating men and men can make women feel less than a woman.....basically lets be mindful how we treat one another😊
@@colinc5531 your last sentence was golden.. and I think you understand my point so we will leave it there.. peace x light to you King ✨☺️
@@ascendingLOTUS fa sho !....peace to you !
I got married at age 23, my husband stop me from working after a few month of us meeting. I didnt want to stop but I love him and we decided how our future gonna be. He said his wife's duty is to take care of the home, I stopped him from eating out (fast food) cause as a wife I cook 3 full meal, he came home every day 3 times per day for a hot meal. I clean, he never had a dirty home and he does everything and I took care of the home and we were both happy until the day he passed (R.I.P.)
I’m sorry for your loss !
🙏🏽
🙏🏽
🙏
I was a house wife. I did all of that and made him a lunch for work he didn't appreciate. So with that being said it didn't work out well.
I think the issue that is faced in 2021 is that both men and women want to cherry pick parts of traditionalism that benefits them in relationships. At the end of the day do what is best for your specific situation but true traditional relationships are the ones that you see last for years.
Exactly
That’s not true. At all! Have you been in Nigeria? 😂
@@gloriaadegboye2186 we’re not in Nigeria tho
@@gloriaadegboye2186 you’ll have to inform me on those relationships because I am speaking from the perspective of an African American and what has been observed in this country’s history as it pertains to longevity within a marriage. Because here traditional marriages are the ones that have years behind them. Divorce rates in the US have greatly increased since the role reversals on both men and women’s parts. And correct me if I’m wrong but from what I have observed most immigrants who do migrate to the US tend to be married (for years) with strong foundation for family.
@@nks4822 Is it really about how long they’re married for or how happy they are? 😂 Okay, y’all want longer marriages but maybe they aren’t happy; maybe one party is just staying for the peace or for the kids. Maybe having more divorce rates is a good thing if they’re happier people. If marriage is causing trauma, sadness, unfulfillment and toxicity then maybe more people should get divorced OR here’s an idea actually create a model of marriage that works for them instead of going by this or that person’s advice on how to ‘be a man’ or ‘be a woman’. 😂. Do you think it’s just statistics? Why do you think lots of children from ‘traditional’ homes end up deviating from their parent’s models or wanting things to be different in some ways or another. If it was so perfect, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation of traditional or non traditional. Immigrants having longer marriages may not have as much to do with the traditional systems actually working as it’ll have to do with one person having the upper hand financially and the other person ending up suffering if they leave: there’s more to life than statistics 😂✨
Saying intentionally hurtful things, no matter the context, will eventually destroy your relationship. And, if the only thing that can cause you to refrain from doing that is financial need or want, that’s problematic.
💯
Ya understand, so what they are all basically saying is they respect a man who makes more and can pay for everything , so the respect is based on money .
Laughing Out Loud
Laughable .
And if that be the case, you don't love and respect the man to begin with , so why even be with him.
You gotta respect the person you with, so why would there be any reason to restrain you'r insults in the first place.
I hope fellas are listening to these women.
They care about ya money , not you!
Women react off emotion
@@dappa311 facts
I completely agree with you. If something does not sit well with you, talk to me about it. Can't believe that people intentionally say hurtful things to their partners.
Not one word about bringing love, protection, reliability, commitment or vulnerability to the table on EITHER ends. Rico didn’t explain anything he even wanted from a woman to begin with, and that’s honestly the biggest issue in dating in 2021. Men want to compete with what women have or vice verse. And 50/50 shouldn’t exist in a household when you add children into it. There’s more to relationships/marriage then the women clean a house all day and the men work and bring the money home. This was actually sad to watch.
I was looking for someone to say this! That what do you bring to the table question is an internal personal preference first of all. If your shopping around and decide to pursue a woman your inviting her to be in your life she wasn’t seeking you out hell your interrupting her to sale yourself so she’s also supposed to contribute financially for a fully grown man. I mean what’s the difference between him and a roommate at that point. Men don’t like the traditional male responsibilities now days.
Neither do women wants traditional roles. This isn't about a particular gender. We all want to be a captain on one boat. It will surely sink
Facts!
@L Nixon I understand that. It All depends on what you deem as traditional. Traditionally… the men have provided and protected whereas the woman did everything else that she mentioned ie: cooking cleaning etc. He completely negated our “traditional” roles by stating he can pay for all of those things which is absolutely correct with the new age allowing everything to be at our fingertips however it’s our traditional responsibility’s. What men need to realize is this is a personal question they need to ask themselves before vetting woman because she could be doing xyz and it’s still seen of no value. Especially if she doesn’t LOOK like his ideal woman and another woman that looks like Halle Berry comes along doing the bare minimum that chick will get accommodated for her short comings.
@L Nixon what is to be a man? Providing and protect is a role. To you and to the society it’s being a MAN! Like what? That’s a role and both are roles which can be fulfilled by either gender.
This panel isn’t mentally mature enough to have this conversation or have any foundation in their relationship. Each relationship dynamic is different and why’s their mentality of the relationship solely cantered on who can do what and materialism. People don’t go into marriage saying okay you do this I do this ONLY. There’s a balance. Who cares who makes more as long as the bills getting paid and you living the lifestyle you want. If you can disrespect your partner on that then sadly your not ready for a relationship. Lastly most people end up with people who are in their tax bracket so this isn’t relevant to majority of people. And in a marriage why would the house be only one name???? Lol. This convo is outdated, do women not work in this day and age?? Have kids? If your concerned about finances so much don’t be a relationship with someone equal as you.
You missed the sub-text. This conversation is really about defining roles in a relationship. You should have financial conversations and negotiage with your spouse.
@@bigfishenergy7722 they were clearly not talking about defining roles. It was more of a materialistic convo about what the person is bringing to the table. These convos should have been had BEFORE marriage. And why you dating a person that is not to your financial standard. The women defined her role in her own relationship and the other guy said he can easily pay for these things so what exactly does he want. He needs to have that convo with his partner. Their convo had no solid foundation on what a marriage is build on at all. Where did I say you shouldn’t have financial conversations with your spouse??
You are absolutely right. The fact that he dismissed the mental, emotional love and nurturing. And not every women knows how to make a house a home. Respect is needed on both sides. Once he down played the value of a woman to a servant. He wouldn't have any respect for any woman.
Like the mentality is if i could pay for it what do i need you for.............. Sir if you could pay for everything gone head and pay for it then....... im saving you money and time by being all these things in one and you making noise because you pay for things i can afford as well?
You are so right! This panel didn't even hit the encouragement and support a spouse can give their significant other.... The last thing is money but living in this generation thats why people get in relationships.....money and looks. You right they not ready for this convo
What happens to RESPECT and PARTNERSHIP?! This whole conversation is a red flag… don’t expect from someone else you aren’t able to provide (spiritually, emotionally, mentally, etc.) If you’re not where you want to be keep growing and doing the work. People make life so hard with this competitive stuff… uuggghh
Thank you!!
Period. Some of these folks are looking for some that doesn't exist lol. This is not what relationships are about. People focus on celebrities and social media and see certain relationships they know nothing about and compare them to their own life, is one of the problems.
I don't know the name of the original person who said this(oops) but he said the following.
Men nowadays need women to actually like them. Back in the day, women (most) could hardly do anything in society. They needed a man literally to buy a washer, a house whatever. Things could bot be in their name. Now, that need is completely gone. We can do for.ourselves.
So in reality, if these men aren't cool/fantastic (whatever) to be with, not wanting to grow together and also as a person, in short a person you want to be with long term, they cannot (in a m/w relationship) get a woman.
The dude with a bandana will have a problem
@@Veroninka The problem with that is feelings change day to day, year by year. Thats why divorce rate 50% cause feelings.
@@joeysoG q+
My wife made more money than me for years. For the past years I've made more than her. We still respect each other, love each other, and support each other physically and mentally. When woman say they want to be taken care of, alot of it has to do with mentally. We always put God first and that's why we work.
EXACTLY
Yes!! We literally want someone to say “baby it’s going to be alright” and then work with us to make it so.
@@Salutations26 as a man with pride and ego, we think financially is the only way. Paying a mortgage, car note, bills doesn't make up for not emotionally investing in your significant other. A woman as well can question, what do men bring to the table that a woman cant.
@@rsar5678 of coz that’s part of it.. but as a men first and foremost u gotta make sure your family has a roof.. that’s a way of showing love to your family.. it’s not just about bills.. it’s love.. them long shifts sleepless nights to get food on the table. It ain’t a game it’s coz I love and care for my family.. what else u want a man to do.. weep and worship the ground woman walk on?
@@bigazTV we are suppose to treat our wife to the highest standard. I learned in marriage counseling, that the man is like a thermostat. Yes, we are the man of the house but the wife controls the setting. If you want to see how a marriage is working, look at the wife. If she's walking around bitter and angry, than certainly the man isn't doing what he's suppose to do.
When you stop worrying about money life becomes great
You couldn't be more wrong.
Sooooo true, it takes away a heavy burden in your chest.
@@bigfishenergy7722 you're telling that to a guy that's 30 and make below the poverty line.
@Cave Man no I don't care about the big house and the Lambo. As long as I got the basics and people that love me. Why waste life chasing money? None of that stuff impress me.
@Cave Man and that's your assumption. I make $1k a month online with no overhead. Me and my gf work part time. our money go on our baby and food, and bills, and investments. As far as time goes I'm very free. I get 4 days a week off. Could be more if I cut back on cigarettes. Comfortable is what I would call it
“A man who asks a women what she brings to the table is testing her self-esteem” - My father
-Erin, you should have said encouragement, inspiration, warmth and beauty. Femininity. That’s the answer. That’s it. That’s what men need and want.
Lol but if a man replied to you with that as what he brings to the table you would life at him in disgust. Everything you listed is complete bs, wtf is feminity? If a man said he brought masculinity, warmth, and handsomeness he would look like a clown.
@Macahl Jett Women that deflect the question and start attacking the mans (manhood) clearly don't bring nothing to the table 😂😂
@Macahl Jett that’s not insecure that’s wrong y’all swear and assume stuff what men say why y’all do that tho ? why he just can’t straight up kno what you bring to the table so he could know what’s getting into but you wanna call it insecurity and it’s not
@Macahl Jett y’all love attacking men when they ask a simple question y’all females so funny where insecurities come from 🤦🏽♂️😂
Exactly
Everyone keeps talking about the table the table..... there is noooo table....there is no foundation as a man or as a woman in our culture. The table has been broken. The kids have no place to eat. Our culture so strong on independence and singlehood, that the table is broken.
It’s GONE. The table is DUST
This is poor people problems men with money ain’t having this convo …
.
Yes because a man with money is not sticking to one women he’s messing around with 100’s, hence why all the billionaires are getting divorced for cheating on their wives. But if you sir want to me pay all the bills and do all the work while a woman sits at home all day and puts her feet up, while only offering you sex then so be it.
But the men with money be divorcing the women who dont stay in line 😂
@Macahl Jett When you randomly scrolling thru UA-cam & see you cuzn's comment. Thus yo cuz Tim Lowery from Woodlawn. Hope all is good.
@@kingtimmy9491 poor men cheat rich men cheat....what's your point? If you're approaching a woman asking her what she brings to the table (as if you don't already know) then why are you even approaching her? Obviously the same applies in the other direction. This question is meant to demean and reduce a person to their surface value, simple as that. Your feelings seem hurt you're literally EVERYWHERE in this comment section. Relax.
My question for blue shirt... what is it that you want a woman to provide? It sounds like he just wants to be alone.
This discussion comes from so many women saying they require men to make $x00k a year but don’t have anything to distinguish themselves from other woman
Love. It's not fucking complicated.
He's not saying anything unreasonable. If he makes a hundred fifty and she makes a hundred but he pays all the bills and where is that 100K going?
@D. S I said paying all the bills. Say again, where is her 100K going? Paying for toilet paper is not the same as paying a mortgage all the car notes the electricity phone bills and everything else under the Tuscan sun
@@25fadeaway the kids, putting a aside money for the kids college, retirement,making up the home,savings account,emergency fund,vacation
I'm so glad I was born in 1973.....you young folks are in some damn trouble.
@Lola you damn right my girl is from a broken home. But i guess thats why she misbehaves a lot
Funny bc gen x is the last generation that still upholds outdated ideology when it comes to relationships/marriages.
Y’all 70s babies are responsible for this ma’am
@@leodegoddess2558 these they kids! 😂😂😂😂😂
Your kids are responsible for this,OLD ASS!!
Everybody have a different love language. Figure out your partner love language and see if it in line with your values.
Exactly
Exactly, it seems that they’re trying to push a one size fits all, when everyone should be doing what is best for the individual situation
True! It’s so simple lol 😂
word
This is a black conversation...breaking down every monetary thing smh not understanding the true role of husband/wife. You never hear white and or "other" discussing these trivial things in the office
Simple one of the biggest myths is that there's a "black community" black people on average are predominantly about self/the ego, us as blacks are don't speak to our children about generational wealth, financial stability, law of equivalent exchange and comradeship. We don't know how to come together and should that happens based on numbers it would be our grandkids to see and experience those changes. Heck just from the video alone you see we haven't gotten down communications 🤦🏾♂️
We are so far behind it's embarrassing.
@Natasha Evans BINGO! And that is the sole problem in our community. Too many black men and women never seen a functioning healthy relationship, so many have NO IDEA what love is... nor what it takes for a relationship to survive
There’s this white women in my office who anytime I ask where she got something her answer is I don’t know my husband bought it. She’s an assistant like me but she’s an assistant to someone higher up. I can tell she is well taken care of because she is really feminine,a sweet lady,she’s older but doesn’t look run down,always come looking put together. Just by her energy I can tell she’s a good wife,happily married and brings peace to his life because her presence is always missed when she’s not in the office. She has such a calming aura. I don’t see that a lot with older women. Many of them are run down and broken down by life
He is only speaking for himself because it’s a lot of men that are depending on a woman to take care of them because my neighbor upstairs man doesn’t even work
The fact you know that much about your neighbors relationship tells me they don't have a solid one.
And I bet all those women are miserable af she isn’t happy taking care of a man but a man would happily take care of his wife that’s the difference especially since the divorce rate in the west is high and it’s done by women 80% if the time
@Lola He could work from home like nearly half of americans do today
@@broco6608 Lmaoo wtf r u talking about men are still happy taking care of there wives that’s why 80% of the divorce rate are from women it’s just men are waking up and not falling for the bs with how modern women act anymore especially if the best thing you can say is cooking and cleaning she didn’t say trust, loyalty, comfort, or even be his peace
@@WillDSwish 💯
The 50/50 relationship is a bold ass lie…
if we’re being completely honest there’s no incentive to stay or see a relationship through if there isn’t interdependence. This requires vulnerability across the board that most in this generation aren’t willing to provide.
True true
Marriage isn't a partnership, it's a union. It's about duty and responsibility.
Thank you.
And when it comes to children it’s rarely 50/50.
Then that isn’t a partnership which most modern ppl ideally see as the best type of relationship
I love how we ignore the fact that these women said that if their man makes less than them, they are more inclined to disrespect them...
I didnt ignore it
@Lola not really it’s common
The logical thinking men heard it loud and clear and we know women these days are quick to try to emasculate a man if given the opportunity!
Heard this part LOUD N CLEAR
She did say that…. But only if he disrespected her first …I guess you only hear what you want to hear
The part missing from this convo is not everything women and men bring to the table is ‘dutiful’ or ‘monetary service/providing’. Everything listed by both these men and women can be purchased - I can hire an electrician, I can buy a home, he can hire a maid etc. But you can not buy peace of mind, companionship, someone who is there for u thru ups and down, someone to hold u accountable, someone to bring balance and balance in your life…and the list goes on…
Accountability is less for women
You cannot purchase someone to buy a home for you.
@@radarchannel9252 exactly, but you can just purchase it yourself lol all these things are purchaseable is what I am saying.
Funny none on the women on the panel mentioned that. Because they not providing a peace of mind.
@Lola I'm sure guys date and attract several variations of women so that's almost saying most women are alike since majority of them aren't delivering peace love yes, good food yes, good times yes but peace that's like finding an unicorn. There are men from all aspects of life different financial and social classes that don't say their woman brings them peace so that means they are attracting and getting women of different financial and social classes and still no peace.
If everything a woman brings to the table can be bought, why do you care about having a woman?
If you have the money, you should be happy alone, or with another man.
Bedroom fun can be bought too, if a Man doesn’t want to have any kids then why buy the cow when you can just get the milk for free (or at a discount)? Marriage isn’t worth it for Men in 2021… Just stay single and enjoy life fellas.
@@manyrubies typical female shaming language smh… A wet hole isn’t money.
@@JasonDrvmz alright. I have no idea what you’re saying. You seem to be having your own conversation in your head.
@@manyrubies nah, you just don’t understand Men. And usually when women don’t have an actual argument then they deflect and make excuses and have no accountability
@@JasonDrvmz I’m not sure what I’m deflecting or arguing when it’s my comment YOU are debating against. I just repeated myself in confusion because your “argument” agreed with my comment…
Just buy everything a woman brings to the table and avoid relationships with women altogether sir 🤷🏾♀️
When both sides realize that love is what needs to be brought to the table then these silly debates wouldn't matter or exist. When you both love eachother its comes out of you to make sure your partner is good period. Respect eachothers needs and realize you in it together and work with what ever situation your dealt with because you make things work out the pure enjoyment of being with eachother. These debates are for relationships based on business deals fr fr. Or the unloyal lol... First you pick your partner based on success and then you ask.. "what are you gonna give me to not cheat or leave your ass." 🤣🤣 "I trade you one house for cleaning" lol 😆 "wait let me go check how much a maid cost" 🤣🤣 yoooo I cant with this bull....... ohh "this is the new generation and Im a little bit of the old generation".....just please shut up.......Not In this generation, in past generations, nor in future generations..... time does not have a factor in the fact that deep down non of us want to be with anyone who measures you like this... This is crazy...."Everything you telling me can be bought"..... huh? And who the hell is anyone to say who is willing to pay the bills or not. This video is not about relationships at all........ unless you consider it a business deal.
It ain't just love. We need god back in the center of everything we do. Thats why all those older generations stayed together.
This whole video is a clown panel!!!! There is not a DROP of love in these relationships! I am dying laughing.I now see why no one is together. I bring the money! I go to Target and get the tissue!!! I am done!!
perfect. you nailed. grade A.
That is why they are talking
I remember being this stupid when I was younger. Ah memories. The reality is that where you're spouse is weak you should fill the gaps.
And when feel weak, your spouse should fill those gaps. It’s all about balance
Bur if men are taugt to be the rock 24/7 and no weaknesses, provide for themselves, get all these or required to have all this $$$ and charisma and funny and passionate and caring etc then is there any room for the women to fill? Other thsn just physical ofc
@@ceratedsign4825 I think there is still space for a woman in this perfect man's life. He still going to need support, sensitivity, empathy, and help. Almost everything that these women are lacking
@@brilliantlyblessed559 i think also men would need to value these more, myself included, after being pushed to be so independant and closed, barely any one of these things are prized or put on a high importance level to most guys n such, theyd just say "we can do that" thinking about this stuff myself I even found me questioning myself too, maybe society need work idk..
You are blessed indeed.
Let's be real you cannot find the average black man that wants to be a sole provider
@Billmatic because how can you be feminine when the man is asking you to provide 50/50
@@kimsandy7869 that’s the problem y’all brag about how u make your own money but don’t want 50/50
@@worldwidereall9297 Who? You don't know me. Who is this 'Yall'
Women. The word he meant to say is women. Women talk so much about all this money they make but then when a bill comes where is the money?
Because times have changed mam. Feminism says "Men are the enemy/ disposable and that women can do it ALL by herself and don't need men"
The issue is now men have now listened,that you don't need them, hence little to no approaching. It's the objective reality if you tell a customer to leave your store don't expect him to return.
And one of the biggest myths is that there's a "black community" here in America. It's still strong and powerful in Africa though
But women can pay for mechanics, and different “handymen” to take care of things in the house too
Then pay and don't complain
Keyword “Pay” dumbass thats a lose lose situation
Hello!!! Yes
@@dwil204 ?
“PAY”.... handy “MEN” .... what do you provide yourself in the relationship. If you’re living together and a handle man is needed to fix something that’s just something that comes with living in a house in general that’s not a pat on the back for doing something you SUPPOSE TO DO.
But my dude , you can’t pursue a woman and then turn around and ask them what they bring to the table. Why are you pursuing me ?
What I bring to the table is my attention, my energy, my presence, companionship, consistency, love, a piece mind, make you feel good when you going through a rough patch, raise your children in to decent human beings when you busy chasing the bag. Women keep the family together, if you loose that stream of income or temporarily go broke, it is your woman and the family that you built together that will stick by you until you are back on feet.
Now tell me, who can you pay to do all of that with a warm and genuine heart?
What you said is way better than what the other girl said, cuz all she said was materialistic stuff that can be bought with money instead of what you just said. I fully agree with you
Tks for your comment.
I never understood that, how can you ask me what i bring to "the table", and its for both parts. But specially if you come to me!
If your here, you should know why!!!
The most important thing is that serious people and with manners dont ask that question... They get to know you by asking questions about what they need to know and they observe!
Asking that seems clasless to me for both parties!
Im just saying....
Rico don’t want a woman or a relationship he wants an employee . He doesn’t value a woman clearly … he got the game all screwed up . “ you only saving me $600 dollars “ well shit the Goal is to save money and give that $600 a job . Let money work for you not against you
This the one right here. Literally Everything.
Rico is complaining about providing. Heavy in his femininity.
Which woman on the stage gave a tangible benefit in response to his question?
@@Saveren_ I mean y'all can continue with this narrative but if u notice it's having less and less effect. To get u to say he's operating in his masculinity would mean he's doing something for u ? Y'all got to understand how that doesn't work in a cost analysis aspect.
@Lola nah I'ma definitely disagree on that. Back to square one.
@@spazz-ok9nr nah it means stop complaining about being a man & stop disrespecting the very thing that brought you in this life a WOMAN !
This man really said that being an electrician is providing but when a woman does the same with laundry and cooking that's a service he can pay for?? So we can't also pay for that service then??
The point is that the man if he wanted to could do laundry cooking repairs and pay for the house all on his own. Most women can only pay for the house and do the domestic duties. They would still have to pay for car repairs and the electrician.
@@bunnyhunter264 that’s not true at all, if a woman wanted to be an electrician there is nothing stopping her to learn to be one, backwards mentality 🤣
@@killerCamii exactly lol my mechanic is a lady.
The electrician spends the money he makes with his job on the woman's wants and needs. He provides money. Men can simply outsource everything modern women can bring to the relationship. Women can't outsource what men bring to the relationship. You can't buy yourself a provider with money. Men can buy sex, housecleaning, laundry service, etc. We can even pay a surrogate to have our children. A man can buy himself everything he want's from a woman. A woman can't buy everything she want's from a man.
@@benanders4412 😂😂😂 a woman can provide for herself, sperm banks exist, they can pay for sex and they can pay for an electrician, a plumber, a mechanic etc in fact there’s nothing from a men that the modern woman needs, she’s educated and well paid…
Please do not fall for this bait question ladies. No answer you give will be good enough. This is done to test your self esteem. Do not argue and go back and forth. It isn’t worth the stress!
Just say nothing and block them 😂
Exactly! It's a poverty dude trying to act like "he's the prize".
Isn’t this show based in NYC? I don’t see how people are surviving on $40k in New York because $40k in Atlanta is struggling as well.
I’m from CT which is one of the most expensive states in the country and not too far behind NY. You can definitely survive off 40k if you don’t try to live above your means.
@@1227weaverb no u can’t lol! I live n Stamford CT, n 40k ain’t goin far
@@reese85 I’m in Hartford. Again if you don’t try to live above your means you can be okay. 40k isn’t amazing but it’s good if you know how to manage your money but unfortunately most people don’t know how to do that. And that’s not even adding what your spouse is bringing to the table financially.
@@1227weaverb Hartford ct is way cheaper than Stamford ct! I don’t think ppl realize 40k a year is $800 a week b4 taxes, so after taxes it’s prob $5-600 bucks! That’s not a lot of money!
@@1227weaverb not only that! The crime rate in Hartford is the worst in CT! So I think that’s plays a part with the cost of living up there
Why do it matter who pay what ? Or who makes more ? Your supposed to have respect for your partner period
Thank you!
By there logic , respect is based on how much the man can provide.
All this video did was continue to perpetuate the notion that men are only as valuable as their pockets in regards to the respect he receives from a woman. A notion I think is unfair to the women whose respect for a man is not garnered due to his pockets, but based on how he helps to take care of a household as a partner.
Many women will be single eating cheetos everyday in their 40s because they didnt learn to respect men sooner
@@iffysd9864 exactly
@@iffysd9864 Dude if you a man get your life together cause our 40s will be filled with options galore. Im at the point I can date a 25 year old one day and a 38 year old the next and im in between in age. The thing is both would have been married in the olden days, now they both single and independent. Fine with me.
This conversation seems very childish. I feel like watching children argue in a sandbox. A relationship is not numbers. This is not a competition. I thought it was more than that. Like equality respect love companionship peace... Smh
Thank you
it is a transaction
You said absolutely nothing wrong so don't worry about these Dusty's that come on your comment with foolish talk
Exactly, any boy that compares himself to a woman or sees woman as a competitor is not suitable for partnership. I.E. homeboy with the blue sweater and earrings
@@ace8926 do women not compare themselves to men in terms of salary and other things?
Rico’s right. We can’t buy someone to buy us a home..... we can just buy the home. 🤣🤣
But a woman with her own money can buy her own house. Wasn't this a conversation about women who make more? We don't "need" them anymore than they need us. Its just a hard truth they don't want to face. Guys can hire a maid and a woman can hire a security guard. Goes both ways.
@@joannamonique707 Yup. We need each other. I just find it funny when guys try and prove they dont need a woman like Rico did in this video
@@KayGrier do we really have to fix roles though? Like saying I never looked as “providing” as man’s job or “cooking” as a woman’s. We know for a fact that both are capable so no one need to aspire to particular gender role in a relationship when the key word is partner.
@Lola when the fact is both are capable doing or performing both roles. There is no reason to be “traditional”.
@krispy kreme quick to insult someone you dont even know. I was just pointing out the irony in men saying they dont need women because they can hire someone to cook, clean, etc. Likewise, women can buy a house, they dont need a man for that. I think we need each other like I said to someone else because relationships are more than just ownership imo 🤷🏿♀️
This is how it works
Both partners make 80k each
They move in together
That's 160k
Both live off of 100k
Save/invest 60k
Collaboration/Separation agreement should be discussed before moving in together
@@marleyjanim5033 💯
I agree but cancel partner and put my wife . Shacking up is for the birds, and rarely leads to marriage.
Thats old school from 70s and 80s and 90s this generation dont think like that..
Most people dont look at it that way sad really.
I have been married for 20 years and my parents almost 50. I went into marriage wanting someone to love and enjoy life with...this tit for tat/finance talk guarantees your relationship will fail. Focus on supporting and making each other happy, that's how you sustain a relationship 💯
Ok but what if your family makes billions of dollars and your with a women that makes close to 10k a month which is nothing?
What will she bring to the table?
Cause ofcourse you're gonna spoil her and do all those things and get nothing in return except for sex.
@@migelrothschild4370 Your relationship shouldn’t be based off financial status. Relationships are or at least should be about finding LOVE not once did anyone mention love. I get the topic at hand but it is this exact reason why you can just simply be alone & don’t have to have that financial factor even be of question when you’re alone. Ppl get with others to offer them a relationship. You can provide money & shit to yourself that’s a given you can’t give yourself a relationship & love in that way.
The only thing I will say is I'm an advocate for everyone having something. I was raised knowing how to cook, clean, wash, some minor car work/housework, etc. I don't want my wife to ever feel like she HAS to do ONLY those things. When she's not able, I can take her spot. I also want her to have her own, wether it's a little job, business venture, plan, etc. It's heartbreaking to see a spouse looking left high and dry if their mate passes away or makes a complete 360 and decides do wanna do "what's best for them". It also shows a little ambition in the spouse.
Yeah! Its supposed to be a team effort! I think many men arent being raised to do those tasks so they expect their partner to do them. So thats where the resent comes in from working women.
If you work then you arent “taking care of your man” if you dont do house duties too. If the woman stays at home and they divorce, then its like shes a gold digger to these type of men. Its like you cant win if you dont have a team mindset.
👏👏👏👏👏👏
Marriage ain’t no 50/50 it’s 100/100. We both out here trying to get to 100k a year. We both are striving to get 800 credit score. We both doing the kids homework. We both cleaning the house. Savings account for the kids. Sport activities with the kids. Married folks just get the job done. You just don’t get married and pile everything on one person.
#facts #carryon
Yesss speak on it
I think Rico/dreadz should pay for all these services, sex, cleaning, food, etc., add up the amount for a year and times that by his life expectancy. Nothing wrong with that, I mean he can never have kids but hey, he doesn't seem interested in a family or love or that sort of thing.
Kids are essentially more bills at the end of the day. What Man want’s extra bills? 🤷🏽♂️👎🏾
Lol exactly since he dosent see value in women and think they dont bring nothing to the table and men do, then he might as well get a man since he thinks there more valuable.
@@JasonDrvmz but isnt him paying for all them services extra bills when he can just do them for himself? Those are basic skills women and men need to know to be a functioning adult. If men think single life is the best and women dont bring nothing to the table then okay, but why not save the extra money being spent. If i can do something myself in my home why would i want to give my money to someone else (who might not even do that good of a job up to your standards)?
@@TishaHearts I said KIDS are extra bills.
@@JasonDrvmz but you also said “WHAT MAN WANTS EXTRA BILLS?”
No disrespect to any of these panelists but all of you don't understand what relationships are built on. It doesn't matter who makes more, it's how you handle finances. First off that's why you keep separate homes until marriage. To many times young people equate what a man or woman make as a staple of a relationship. A man is supposed to be a Protector, PROVIDER, which means that he provides for the household, now there is NOTHING WRONG with his WIFE contributing to the household together. Stop playing HOUSE WITH PARTNERS WHO ARE NOT READY FOR MARRIAGE. Keep it SEPARATE SISTERS (KISS).
Actually in can agree to that point. The biggest mistake people make is, to use a realtionship for validation. Yes it is nice, that people seem to care about you. But, what happens if the Partner is getting bored. And switches to someone else.
In the End, the goal is to have children and make sure that they can grow up in a healthy environment.
And i also think, that people should marry when they are ready and at a point to keep a family safe. Im 25 and im in university. I was in the army, did Civil service aswell. A family will be something that i would be ready at 30. I need to finish unmi, start to work and save some money and have my life secure.
If he makes 200k a year and she makes 80k and he pays for all the bills. Where is her money going? Because it sounds like with that lady that her money is her money but his money is their money. Rico is actually right. You're not offering anything that he can't pay someone to do but you can't pay someone to take care of you financially.
Yup
Why women want the benefits of a traditional woman but still wanna be a modern woman???
When someone asked my husband why he married me he said “ She is pretty, she can read, she is nice to me “. There was none of this well this is what she brings to the table. He wanted a wife and a family and for 18 years I have been his best friend, wife and the mother of his children. I love and honor my husband because he is a GOOD man. I have been his biggest cheerleader, care giver and even added to our bank account through money saved and money made. For all of that he has promised to take care of us until the day that he dies and even after. My husband values me as his wife and our children because he is a MAN who values family.
She can read?🤣
What about when you die? I think that's the whole point they bringing up.
This! Men who have been properly raised seek a woman of character to raise the family. They aren’t concerned about her money.
You husband is a simp. Sorry to break it to you
🥰
It’s 2021 all basic traditional things can be bought (from protecting and providing to house work) so it comes down to what can they do for you that money can’t buy (companionship, loyalty, love, nurturing etc)
Exactly. It's that simple
Facts.....Spoken like a true old soul
This‼️
You can't pay someone to financially buy you a house why you keep your money in your account as he takes care of you
@@25fadeaway the point is, find someone who could do the INTANGIBLE things for you bc those things are what makes marriages/ relationships lasts
Where does the rest of y’all conversations go I want to see the rest 🤷🏾♂️
Oh we know what he brings to the table lol it’s his dangling earrings 😆 It’s his soft voice & feminine energy 💀
everything u could possibly bring to the table can be bought waste bitch
Many don't need us to help demasculate them cause they demasculate themselves.
Whenever you get personal you automatically lose the debate 🤦🏾♂️
@@avelinorigo2437 not debating
@@22ccb it takes more than just MONEY to make a relationship work you moron !!🤦♀️ i been married for over 13 years & still going STRONG. So i KNOW what makes a relationship work! lol 😆 & everything that feminine man in this video is saying, is incorrect. He’s Mentally immature & will find himself being a Bachelor for life 🤷🏻♀️ Whatever women is with him will be Disappointed & unsatisfied 😂 i’ll pray for ya’ll
Really wish they stopped cutting each other off, and allowed one another to fully get their points across.
After watching countless Kevin Samuel's videos and being in agreement with his stance and outlook on secure relationships; i.e. marriage. This discussion seems soooo redundant and devoid. No mention of having or raising children; a legacy. Just buying a home as a couple to cohabit and watch each one's pockets.
Right. I guess Rico will end up buying an egg, hiring a surrogate, and hiring a nanny to raise his kids because he doesn’t see the value in having a wife. Rico was soo focused on the fact that his money can buy anything he wants. This man does not want a woman. Notice the other men on this panel don’t have the energy that he has.
@@thatlovegirl12 😂😂😂😂 girl fr
@@thatlovegirl12 nah guess you didn't care to listen to what he actually said. He's calling out the bullshyt yall females be talking about. Basically and generally speaking, y'all don't contribute shyt. Everything that lady said she "brings to the table" is a service a man can either do for his self or pay for. So either y'all females stop the con job or get ignored for Whole Foods and Maids cleaning service😉
Get a man
@@futureofta8686 I’d prefer to be ignored… I think a LOT of women would agree.
Trust is scary cause if he paying everything and she cheats then she wasn’t happy from the start.. or if he cheats then he feel he can get away with it cause he pays everything
Pro tip: If a woman likes you she will spend on you. Women have money. I've seen women take money a boyfriend/husband gave them and give it to another guy (the guy they really like).
@@TerriTerriHotSauce so so true sounds like middle school or high school situation, but it definitely happens in that situation also
@@TerriTerriHotSauce Pro tip: Men cheat the most now and they spend money on women that aren't their wives/girlfriends all of the time ( the gal they really like). Pro tip Two: Broke men cheat more than all other men including wealthy men. If he's broke and with a high earning woman, he'll be spending on women that wouldn't be desperate to deal with any of that. ( the woman he really wants to be with if he was a top earner)
Why is dude so aggressive? Is he heartbroken? Does he like menS, a closeted homosexual? Like, why is he so mad?
Why do people think because just because a mans disagrees with a woman he must be gay? That’s lowkey homophobic in what your implying.
Sounds like Mr. Dior wants a husband instead of a wife
The fact that the guy said he is paying for and willing to pay for other things needed for a home that are traditionally done by women shuts the entire discussion down - people, especially men don’t pay for things that have no value. Only men who don’t have the financial means to afford a woman ask questions like this; men who are financially secure know a woman’s presence alone is sufficient.
Clean problem with earthlings is we dont appreciate
That's the biggest load of crap I have ever heard
So women are for sale or selling themselves? What you on? 😂 “afford a women” clearly not independent or broke. This current generation women work and they should contribute to household expenses or finance period.
Not acceptable for a man to pay every and the women don’t pay nothing.
Yo the woman with blonde hair has personal issues that needs to acknowledge and heal from. How can you say publicly on the internet, if the love of your life makes less or hits a hurdle and is unable to pay the bills. Is willing to degrade him making him feel less than human for not able to pay for the bills. Anyone that was raised with decency and morals would never ever do that to someone they love, especially if its their spouse. Chris Rock it best - Women, kids, and dogs are loved unconditionally, but men are only loved under the condition they provide something.
It seems to be conflict between traditional unions & “new wave” unions.. find someone who wants what you want & keep it moving.. Rico basically said that a woman has no real value because her entirety is service based which can be paid for.. but women were created/wired to be “help” mates.. when we push the boundaries & become BOSSES we are then TOO MASCULINE.. y’all need to make y’all mind up.. smh. I would like longer episodes please, very interesting topics & I love the variety & input of this panel ☺️
Ps: Im like ERIN!!! Its the SAGG in us !!! ♐️♐️♐️❤️❤️
Wow Erin is a Sag, this makes sense now lol
Woman are not made to be help mates. A man is her mate in her point of view. That’s the problem. Patriarchy is the problem. Cause the goal of it is to oppress of someone and take advantage of that. People need to get out of it and change the culture cause it’s not working and it can only collapse for good in the future.
I was in love with Erin's beauty but I cant stand a sagittarius.... I'm one too (Dec. 9th)
Nah, you have it mixed up. It's not that becoming "bosses" makes women masculine to men. It's that the ability for a man to be loved is directly correlated to his ability to provide. So many men who for whatever reason, are not financially stable, will attempt to bring women down in order to make them a more suitable partner. If women really want to end patriarchy, that means getting rid of the silly gender roles too
@@ahmorgan what said was to get rid of silly gender roles. They are just roles, when you are single no matter man or a woman, I’m sure you are providing for yourself, cook, clean, fix things around the house. So no one need aspire to a role that to by gender when the key word is partner. All these roles does is can’t let People freely express themselves.
Some people are naturally dominate wether a woman or a man. Some woman are dominate in character and want to lead. I never looked at providing as man’s job. I hate this society. I really did growing up. I do have the freedom to live and define my own relationship however I want to, but what majority holds , I do not want to participate in such institutions rather have a partner and freely define my own relationship. I never looked “providing” as a man’s job. And i don’t understand if it happens subconsciously that a woman’s place secondary place for society. No it’s shouldn’t be that way. That’s why people should come out of so called “patriarch” ideologies. Cultures should change with time. I just hope and when? People should have the freedom to define their relationship and take up whatever role they are capable of or good at in areas where they are capable of leading. it should be up to the couple what they want to do. She is considered the breadwinner pays the bills, cool. They split 50/50, cool. He like to spend time with family and kids. (Wants to be stay at home dad). That’s his choice. Cool.
What is up with this silly gender roles? When either of the are capable of fulfilling. As all as the family is going and system is working. Why does it matter or should it matter whose money?
Equal pay gap is a myth
This conversation is so annoying. They telling her to speak for herself, but they’re acting as if they’re speaking for ALL men. All men aren’t providers like they’re trying to make it seem in the first place.All women aren’t expecting men to buy the house, but the cars, pay all of the bills. It’s just not realistic to think that all women expect that.
95-99 percent would
Exactly. The average black man doesn't have housekeepers, chefs, personal assistances, etc...nor can he afford it💀. And he must not know there's a sector of men who have been tricking off on women since forever and will glady spoil a woman, take care of her, buy her a house, etc...in exchange for little more then her time.
@Lola reality
That gent in the Dior has been hurt. Most women can make money. But that 50/50 dies as soon as kids come in the picture.
Rico is so confused, "you can't buy someone to buy you a home."
"But I can buy my own home" so... Same thing. If I can afford it, it's not an issue that I need someone to do for me.
I love how they just overlook the emotional value of security and unconditional love of a friend/soulmate/partner.
I feel like Rico low key hates women, he's always trying to say they are a dime a dozen. Yeah the girls you casually hit probably are, but a quality woman (and man) is priceless and they do exist... Just not out in these streets
Rico is correct and a lot women nowadays aren’t women anymore. Rico speaking the truth and the truth is hard to accept
I get the feeling that Rico do not hate women, but is speaking like a man who has been emasculated by women on several occasions throughout his life. So he talks as if he is always trying to display his worth as a man and present his manhood.
He’s just asking the question? If you were on the panel and described the emotional value of a parter/ soulmate then you would have answered his question.
Rico is on point. Every women's go to is I can buy my own but you cant buy a provider.
RICO da GOAT. He speakin for all men. Some men dont have the balls to say what he sayin to women. So stuff he say sounds foreign to alot of women because most men tell women what they wanna hear in order to keep peace
Mr plucked eyebrows, dangly earring and headband wants to be a woman. He sounds jealous. He wants to be taken care of. Why not just come out?
And 99.9,% of the guys agreeing with him don't even make enough to afford a housewife so this whole conversation is pointless.
No. He's wants some acknowledgment that womens little so called bullshit efforts aren't the same as what a man has to bring to the table. Just because you dust a little furniture here and there doesn't mean that equals a man having to go out and work 2-3 jobs to make ends meet. Foh
@Lola broken and stupid. Wouldn't be surprised if that's actually a black man
This is the Dustiest conversation I have ever seen. First, they were having discussions about Black men making $40k when the average BM in America makes $23 per year. So these men neither have a table or house or anything else. Secondly, if the man with the tacky bandana, dangling earring, and cheap jewelry does not see the value in a woman besides $EX, he neither does not want or need a woman. Thirdly, Black women, STOP trying to prove your worth to men who complain about being providers. These men are NOT marriage material.
Exactly 1000 percent agree
Black men yall need to talk to each other because it seems you guys are the only races of men who ask those questions( ex: what does she bring to the table), who complains about providing, being a men etc.
A lot of you make so many excuses for not wanting to strive in life, build and grow up as men.
It’s a cost benefit analysis, how does a Man benefit from all of that in 2021? A Man can get the same benefits from staying single as a married Man would nowadays so what’s the point?
@Lola Exatly!!! Bm are just lazy at this point. Lowkey I think they want to be provided like women. 🤷🏾♀️
They dont want to be with women but complain about us so muchhh.
@@JasonDrvmz just stay single then . Problem solved lol
@@donttalktomeyoureannoying8736 that’s the plan. Just pump and dump
Yes belittle black men but when people ask for the reason why I haven’t dated many black girls, it’s because of sistas like cassy cookie. If I belittle black women then it’s a problem, I hate mom and grandma, and I will get called gay. What I’m trying say is stop being a hypocrite when a situation doesn’t benefit your needs.
At the end of the day Erins the only one on the couch married
That's the short hair one?
Yes
that doesn't really mean anything... not sure what point you're trying to make
@@jospinmuhanuzi2229 apparently somebody thinks she is wife material. So their opinion really doesn’t matter
Making MONEY and HAVING MONEY are two different things. There are people who make LESS and have MORE.
No other group of men says stuff like this, ladies... 👀
Not true at all
No other group (BW) of women are so masculine.
@Lola our ?
So true!!!
@Lola our ?
Did she say pick out FURNITURE and get paper towels???????? These women are delusional
This whole "what do women bring to the table?" Debate is getting tired like just think... He saying he pays the bills or for the house that both HIM AND his Partner would be living in yet he holding that over the female head as if he's solely doing it to take care of her only. A shelter aka an home is a necessity.. A need for both him nd her without her he would still need a home still be paying a bill for the house... Hes paying that bill & got that house for himself as well not solely for her or to take care of her
Same for the women cooking nd cleaning are ordinary daily things thats needed and needed to be done. Part of a relationship and mainly the point of one is two people coming together joining each other lives routines and assests to make shi work and happen for the better everything makes a difference and counts its no true scale to weigh and balance the role of the partners in a relationship. Just live try to be happy together and work "life" out together cause it can be hard
@@Benjibarbie Nah cleaning for yourself is one thing. Cleaning up your mess in addition to somebody else's is something completely different. Same with cooking. It's less work to prepare a meal for one then it is for two. And I see your point but that's not the reason it's problematic when a man who protects and provides tries to hold that over a womans head
Without him, she would still need a home and have to pay the rent bills and cook and clean. So that isn’t something she brings to the table either.
He not doing it solely for her but if he the only one paying for it don’t you think she’s benifiting pretty heavily off that. Don’t you think he could just pay for it his self and live there his self and she would have to buy her own house and pay her own note??
if your relationship is based on money and constant talk about money and whos not paying enough etc. and feeling inclined to belittle your partner who isnt making enough.. its not going to work.
Men has stuff to provide on the table and so does women. Just depends what youre looking for.. meet someone that meets what youre looking for and if no man or woman has it, then stay single, simple. I lost brain cells watching this lol
also everyone is different, some men like to provide and be the one to pay for everything, some don’t. vice versa.
Black people don’t see this but we are being brainwashed not to get along or marry each other.
Thank you. This is the stupidest video ever. May I supposed to take care of their women and children, and women are supposed to raise the kids and manage the household. All this, what do you bring to the table mess, is just plain ignorant.
Rico sounds a lil jaded, he might as well just pay for what he missing... 😂
To sum this up, I believe a relationship is based of taking care of each other and loving one another. It's about finding out what work for your marriage. I know a lot of men don't mind providing for their household with out complaints and if you got to question about your partner value is maybe you should find someone else
Coming across from Fresh & Fit..... Ohhh yeah, so many women provide... Nothin' but disrespect.
Yes because fresh and fit hosted in Miami is a good indicator of all women….
@@deborah8194 "not all women", "who hurt you", "small D energy".. We know your script already Debbie Downer..zzz
@@HaydenDavidson6 you good?
Thank GOD I’m already in a relationship and we have our roles. Cause he sounds CRAZY!
This entire debate is framed on the privilege of 1st world capitalism
Fax
I’m married..
Ik how to cook
Ik how to wash my own clothes
Ik how to pick my own clothes
Ik how to buy my own food..
I don’t need a woman to do that.. I also don’t need my wife to work.. my wife is my mental support system.. and mother to my kids..that’s it..if that is hard to do..that’s a problem
Rico really does not understand the difference between a HOUSE and a HOME. They are very different...One day when he grows up he will understand the difference.
This
I wish I man with a dangley earring would ask me what I'm bringing to the table smh 🤦 chileee NO
This Entire Argument is Silly. If u want traditional be traditional and stand on it. If u want independence be independent and stand on it. You can’t mix both, they don’t mix. You can’t ask for traditional unless your willing to be it yourself. You can’t try and shame men and say they act like children (gender roles) if u want to be provided For (gender roles). Bottom line we need more healing & love in our community than trauma arguments. (I’m Talking about in the comments)
What she brings to the table is ordering Paper Towels off of Amazon? Wait, what? 🤔
Just like we’ve seen in this talk (which was all over the place), there are many different opinions on what a “mans role” vs what a “womans role” is (notice I didn’t say female!). Individuals are going to bring different things to a relationship based on personality, upbringing, values, morals, occupation or job status. I think the best thing you can bring to a relationship is communication- so that you can talk about what’s important to you or expected of you in terms of the defined “roles” in the relationship.
Yea I agree with this completely. Everyone has their strengths and shortcomings, but there’s no such thing as 100% compatibility, nobody knows exactly what you want unless you communicate that with them clearly (and *always* respectfully for that matter). People focus so much on the gender aspect of this but individuals have individual wants and needs, and just because there tends to be overlap doesn’t mean it’s not on you to find out what your partner specifically needs and for them to make you aware of issues and how to help. Nobody is entitled to anything, but you (as a woman or man) shouldn’t expect somebody to put forward an effort that you don’t likewise put forward first. I think you are spot on imo, but that’s just my 2c
Well said. I think it's important for people to be honest before any activities happen on what they want in a relationship. Problem? People aren't honest.
Perfect reason to not marry a woman like this.
Facts… It’s also the reason for Men not to get married at all lol. It’s better to be single and occasionally date. Rent but never buy 😂
@Lola they've already done it. Look at the actual statistics.
I'm convinced that Erin's husband has a side chick. Every time Erin disrespects him he calls his side piece
What do woman bring to the table that money can’t buy 🤔 a family, you can’t buy a family. It looks like this generation don’t want no family.
So true
That would be great, if women actually wanted families. Lots of single mothers suggest otherwise.
@Lola they don’t marry before they carry
a man can adopt
Women give birth to your legacy and raise your kids with you & that something your can’t buy…
“That furniture your laying on I picked this shit out.. when the napkins run out I buy those” 😂😂😂😂 Biiittcchh you CANNOT make this up
@Lola yup & yall was mad quiet & all sad because its true
I wish this was a longer episode because I feel like there were more scenarios/situations that could have been talked about
yea there episodes are to short and they only scratch the surface
She brings nothing to the table. Don’t waste your time.
rico made no point in the beginning the same shit he saying he can pay someone to do those things , is the same way a woman can buy her own house and pay her own bills and pay someone to fix what ever ....the point is on both side who wants to have everything and no one to sleep with at night, no one to share everything with....lets stop acting like shit don't get lonely on both parts yes men can have a different girl every night but is it someone you want around after you nut that brings you peace ?
in a relationship sense sure but thats not the point of my comment.....hes asking what a woman can bring and she answered...now if you dont care to have that cool but don't say a woman can't bring absolutely nothing because a housekeeper and a chef can not be there everyday all day
I just want to know,why is it her money and his money? I was brought up that we put our money together and make it work.
Everything gets discussed and we keep it pushing. Or maybe I'm too old school
He's so feminine. NO thanks
He's feminine because his existence doesn't evolve around working his body into the dirt to cater to a woman?? You bchs tell on yourselves all the time I swear
Ladies, the answer to the question "what do you bring to the table", is; UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. As this whole conversation showed though, if a man cant measure up to your material desires, then he doesn't matter to you at all, and that's why you guys keep failing the question
@Eve R. You disingenuous fuck. Stop going up and down the comments section spewing your bullshit. As I've told you before. The problem isn't women solely being concerned with a man who can provide for them, it's that women are more concerned with being able to live a life of extragance so they can feel better about themselves and show off to their little friends. Look at all the social media platforms that have women running around demanding men make 6 figures before they even look in their direction.
Incorrect. "Unconditional Love" is what you give to children not to adult mates. Love is conditional in relationships or there wouldn't be divorce. He's not your son and I wish mothers would stop with that emotional incestuous relationships with their sons. He's not your man, nor the man of the house. He's a child and needs to be treated like that until he reaches manhood where he needs to embark on that journey with the tools you've given him and hopefully his father has given him as well.
If she’s not making more I’m pretty sure that person will still disrespect them.
She said I picked out the furniture I pay the bills I buy the grocery It sounds to me that her job is mainly spending the mans money and stacking her own and by the way these things in the home would be done if a woman was there or not
Seeing how difficult it is to just get along with these types of women shows that they are just NOT worth it. Too difficult, too much drama, too much attitude and no real benefits. Just not worth it. Just listen to them 🤣🤣
I’m really saying!!!
Someone finally said it👏🏾
@Lola men are very simple
Shit confusing. If I as a man make less but I’m still paying for everything. Wtf is the woman working for then? Like women just work to keep their money to them self and a man no matter what gotta pay most of the money? Like I just wanna know in a relationship what is a woman working for?
That was the stupidest comment ever. If the man is paying the bills the woman income should be going towards savings, mutual funds, emergency savings, vacation, clothing etc.
@@karenwhittaker9778 obviously lol
You can’t actually believe that her money is just going to herself. All women mostly say is that they like for the man to pay the major bills like rent, mortgage, light, water, etc I guess. But nothing about groceries, trips. Back to school shopping, haircuts, savings, car notes etc. But this works if the man makes enough to cover the major bills if he doesn’t then obviously she’s going to have to step in and help at some point. This argument is so stupid. idky this is even discussed atp.
Good conversation but ALL SIDES seem ill-prepared. None could really give a convincing explanation to those questions.
REAL WOMEN KNOW THEIR JOB AND DUTIES AS WELL AS REAL MEN. The struggle today is SIMPLY THE LACK OF MORALS AND VALUES.
I hear a woman say I can cook but I don't want it to be my job, but when a man say I can cut grass I don't want it to be my job then it's a problem. Y'ALL ARE NOT READY THAT'S WHY THESE DAYS RELATIONSHIP DON'T LAST. BUT DON'T GIVE UP YOU CAN STILL BE A BETTER MAN OR WOMAN, JUST AS LONG AS YOU KNOW YOUR DUTIES TO EACH OTHER LIKE:
WOMAN NURTURES, INSPIRES, THE CARE TAKER, THE NUCLEUS, ETC.
MAN: PROVIDES, MAINTAINS AND PROTECTS
START TO UNDERSTAND THESE VALUES AND WE WON'T BE HAVING THESE CONVERSATION.
There is no 50/50 in marriage. I’ve made more money than my husband and now he makes more than me. We’ve never had a money issue. When he needs $9000 he can get just like when I need it I can get it. When discussing what’s brought to the table I bring myself. He can trust me with his feelings, his children, his burdens, his secrets. He brings himself to the table. I can depend on him, call on him. It’s beyond the money, the house, the chores. It’s about personality and compatibility
The answer is simple. Remove the factor of money and that's what each person bring to the relationship. When you remove the money you're stuck with being yourself. Learn yourself and that's what you offer. The end.
No money is important to every group and culture on the planet.
@@GoddessBlueYozakura7 You completely missed the point of my comment
@@AndreWhyte No I didn't. Please move along now.
@@GoddessBlueYozakura7 you replied to my comment foo...
@@AndreWhyte You keep playing like you're 5 yrs old. Money matters. You can't remove resources from the situation.