British Couple Reacts to BEHAVIOUR RULES IN AMERICA THAT SURPRISE TOURISTS!
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- Опубліковано 26 лис 2021
- British Couple Reacts to BEHAVIOUR RULES IN AMERICA THAT SURPRISE TOURISTS!
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Original Video - • 13 Etiquette Rules in ...
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As an American, the shoes in the house seems to vary from family to family. My family always takes their shoes off in the house, but I'll go to a friends house or another relatives house, and they tell me I can keep my shoes on, just wipe them off on the door mat before coming in. Usually when going to someone's house, the first thing you ask is "Should I take my shoes off?" and they'll tell you what they prefer.
My family shoes and hat off. Most of Oklahoma is the same way for the natives.
Yup - here too in California (and probably most of the US) - you usually ask if you should take your shoes off. If you come into my house, the answer is - "Yes please!" - I don't like shoes in my house.
Shoes on here in CO
In Southern California it’s very weird to ask someone to take their shoes off. Makes you feel awkward. The only families that seem to ask for that are from other countries (different cultures) or have white carpets.
I grew up with shoes on in the house but once I got my own place, shoes off.
We never outgrow calling our teachers Mr. or Mrs., even when we're grown and on an equal footing. It's so awkward when you can't break that rule, even if you're just being respectful.
I've run into former teachers here and there throughout my life. I still call them Mr/Mrs/Ms as I was introduced to them as a student. Not weird to me at all. That's how I know them.
I learned my old friend's parents by her mom and the name of her stepdad. From that point on, her mom was always addressed by Mrs. and her stepdad by his name. I was at her family's house to swim in the pool, and her mom said I could call her by her first name. It didn't feel right. She went from Mrs. last name to Ms. first name. She was alright with that.
Here’s an interesting one. If someone asked me “you alright?” I would be quite confused. In America asking someone if they’re alright typically implies that it looks like something is wrong. Like if I was crying and someone saw me, they might ask me “are you alright?”
Without that context, I might think the asker thinks I’m upset.
another thing they're saying when they ask you that is: are you going to be able to handle whatever is going on with you...the premise being: anyone can see something is going on with you, that something is wrong, but are you going to be able to handle it?...that's what 'are you alright' means, in some contexts!!!
I lived in France for a year and went around smiling at people. I was told, in no uncertain terms, to stop that - especially toward men on the street. I guess it’s viewed as an invitation. It’s normal here to smile at most anyone you may make eye contact with.
Well that's good to know! I probably smile more than some other Americans, so I'll take special care if ever I find myself in France, lol
@@Jessica_Jones yay for the smilers! We need more of us these days😁 (maybe just not so much with Frenchmen)
@@sharithompson1672 let a Frenchman come to the states and think it be an invitation. You know just like I do, they'll never make that mistake again.
Note to self: Smile at men in France if I either want to hook up with a hot dude or get my ass beat. ☑️
I’ve been to France twice, and being from the south, you gotta know that I talk to strangers and smile a lot. 😊
Tipping is basically mandatory. Your waitress has to be EXTREMELY bad to justify no tip
it's "mandatory" because employers feel free to slough off their duty for pay onto the general public and the public let them. Guilt-tripping is what it amounts to. Can't think of a good restaurant where I should pay 20% more for someone to carry food to me and serve a drink. Insane lunacy.
Here in the US many taxi companies require passengers to ride in the back for the drivers safety. Sometimes there is even bulletproof glass, or a cage separating the front from the back seats. It comes from a history of taxi drivers being robbed in larger cities.
Welcome to Philadelphia
My grandfather drove a taxi in St.Louis, MO back in the 1960s. He was murdered by someone who shot him in the head from the back seat and robbed him. There were no bullet proof glass shields between front and back seats way back then or he would probably have been alive much longer. He was only in his 50s when he died.
@@DeborahStephenson , it is a very Dangerous job
@@donnabittner69 Yes. I learned that at a very young age when I no longer had a Grandpa Luke. (That's what we called him.)
@@DeborahStephenson I hate to hear that...there in lies why the bullet proof shield was installed.
One problem I always have with these "this is how things are done in America" videos is that they tend to forget that we're a collection of 50 states that span a continent with 5-10 distinct and different regions, so some of these things don't apply everywhere (like the small talk and smiling bit ... don't expect that in the Northeast part of the country ... smiling at strangers and trying to make small talk with them in New England will get some uncomfortable looks. And the personal bubble thing is a much bigger deal there than it is in parts of the south, where you can expect to be hugged by strangers occasionally). As for the formality thing (and calling people by their first name vs their title) you'll find parts of the South where yes they're super warm and friendly, but there is still an expected layer of formality to interactions (you will call men "sir" and women "ma'am" and be expected to call your teacher "Mr. So-and-so" and not "Joe"). So before you take these 13 things as gospel, make sure they apply to the region you will be visiting.
Spot on!
The only time that I could see calling a teacher by his/her first name would be if it was an adult night school class. I definitely remember calling my English comp professor Sharon. I was 44, and she looked around 30.
Also in the south they like to call senior citizens M or Miss r(first nam). Like Mr. Bob or Miss Betty as a sign of respect.
True. Even the “Texas is…” comments are annoying because all of our cities are insanely different from each other we don’t even have all the same type of BBQ 😩
@@NotaVampyre111 in Houston we say it to everyone, our own age maybe younger, in like a professional/service situation. We’ll say yes ma’am/sir to a cashier or bus driver, etc as a sign of respect. They don’t have to be seniors per se ☺️
I personally love when you pause and discuss each fact. To me it makes sense to discuss it immediately instead of waiting until the end. As a Canadian we were taught to remove our shoes in some else’s house but you never asked a guest to take theirs off.
That was how I was raised. I don't make people that don't live with me take off their shoes.
The pauses are much needed in videos like this. Address the difference or lack thereof and then we can all move onto the next topic.
The shoes off thing is a household to household thing. Remember, we’re a country of immigrants. So there are a lot of families that have carried their “shoes off” traditions from their ancestors.
No we aren’t lol
Those of us Indigenous to this land expect you to take them off. We're not all colonists or their descendents.
That's what it's like in my house my great grand parents come from Poland and Russia and we kept the tradition that you should always remove your shoes before entering the house If I didn't remove my shoes I would get slap for being rude.
@@wavy2186 so you’re a Native American?
@@tracypaddy4002 I have American Indian roots, yes. Why do you ask?
Keep on mind that everything is relative to where in America you are. I'm in NYC and we have a reputation for being grouchy, but you can ask pretty much anyone for directions and they'll give them to you with a smile.
The weirdest thing about “American” videos is the over exaggeration of fast food. Europeans think we eat it constantly. SOME do and that’s why they’re obese but most of us eat it like once a month if that 😂
I rarely eat, given the amount of fat and carbs involved. It's a very occasional treat for me. When I was a kid, sure-- but I was a runner so I could afford it.
right😂
Once a month? Ha. More like several times a week.
Yeah
That SOME is 30 million people. 😂😂
About shoes: In another debate, those who do/don't wear shoes talked about where they were in the US.
The more likely it was for there to be snow, slush, or mud, the more likely it was that the person grew up with a "no shoes in the house" rule.
In every household I’ve visited that allowed shoes in the house, I was still required to take them off at the door if they had mud, gum, dog poop, or something similar on them. I know of no households that didn’t care about dog poop or mud being tracked through the house.
Or a variation there of. But mostly, nasty shit on your shoes? Leave them at the door are get an icy 🥶 greeting/welcome. My mom also had the shoe brushes and a big boot drier for my stepdad. All by the door.
Exactly. In the areas where the likelihood of nasty stuff on shoes is higher, the default becomes "take them off".
Yep when I live in Ohio no one wears shoes in the house (especially since most have carpet) But I live with family in the desert there is no carpet only tile and wood floors, we wear shoes inside
Rather than saying no shoes in the house I think of common sense to say no mud or slush in the house. Many times of the year there isn't snow and people have gone through the effort of getting dressed to visit someone it is kind of insulting to ask them to take off their shoes implying they are dirty. But yes, common sense, in the middle of winter and you have snow all over your snow boots you're not going to wear them around the house.
I’m a server in the US and I make a little over $3.00 an hour. So we literally need tips to survive. 💜 love you guys!
Tipping is less a sign of how I liked the service and more that we pay people 3 dollars an hour and think that is fine.
With tips, what do you generally make in a shift?
And minimum is 20%. Less than that means you thought the server was deliberately bad or rude. J please don’t dock servers tips for problems with your meal, the servers don’t cook the meals and the actual cooks wouldn’t even know.
Yup, what a lot of people on both sides of the minimum wage debate don’t realize is that there are TWO federal minimum wages. The $7.75~ish one everyone is focused on (still not enough to live on) only applies to traditionally non-tipped positions. Tipped positions can be paid as little as $2.50/hr.
@@staciecarrel4492 I've been a server in Indiana and my hourly was $2.13
I enjoy your back and forth comments. As an American, hearing your thoughts and sharing your own experiences on a subject that you’re watching, shares with me a British point of view or comparison, which I’m fascinated by.
As an aside, you both make a very lovely couple!
Pause and comment all you want. You guys interacting together and discussing the videos is what most of us come to see. We enjoy hearing your thoughts and experiences and especially your interest in our country. Keep up the positivity!
exactly! if we didn't want to see your thought/reactions then we would just watch the video you play by itself
It feels weird to walk past someone walking and not give them a quick smile here in the Midwest, but I guess in larger cities with a ton of people it’d be harder to do that
Yes, in school we say Mr. or Mrs. or Miss unless the teacher specifically tells you to call them by their first name. I like that you pause and discuss. If you wait until the end to talk you’ll probably forget some of the things that you wanted to say. Shoes are different in different people’s houses. Usually you’ll see their shoes by the door as a cue but it’s always good to ask. The personal bubble is HUGE with us. It feels weird to sit up front in a taxi and the driver probably don’t want you there. Some taxi drivers have a policy of no one riding up front. Protection from being robbed possibly. Some have a plexiglass partition for exactly that reason.
Very few people tell someone to take their shoes off. It is not the norm at all. Most Americans, I'd say 95 percent, estimated, wear shoes inside their home.
Wearing shoes in the house in the US really is different by every household. It can be seen as rude to ask your guest to take their shoes off though. The thing is the US is so large that customs and manners can be really different by geographical area. I live in the south. You would have a completely different experience here than in New York or California
totally agree. I also think it depends on the flooring in the house.
It’s completely different within my house. My husband has to have his shoes on at all times, but my son and I take ours off as soon as we get in the door. He thinks we’re weird, we think he’s weird LOL
good rule to live by: walk in the house... if u see their shoes at the door, kick yours off. if not, ask and keep them on if you like. growing up shoes were all over the place so it didn't matter. if you have nice carpet, i find most people kick them off anyways. nothing like nice carpet between the toes. hardwood: well, most people like to keep their shoes on unless they plan on making a sliding entrance. (which i've also done multiple times) :)
@@brianostrom4751 No I like walking in my friends house with dog crap and mud ...And then I'll say "Hay something smell like shxx here !!!!"
@@CptGreenJeans The residents of the house decide regardless of the flooring, whether you should remove your shoes or keep them on while visiting, but that's a point we'll made.
We usually don’t take our shoes off at other people’s houses, but most of us kick them off as soon as we get home. We also call our teachers Mrs. whatever, but call our bosses by their first names. Y’all are adorable! Much love from Texas! 🤘❤️🇺🇸
From Texas as well, and I agree with Erin. I think you typically don't visit people at their homes unless you know them, but another great hint is to eye your surroundings when at/coming through the front door. If you see a couple pairs of shoes by the door, then you kind of get the idea that they don't like shoes in the house, as your first time visiting their home for the first time, it may be awkward for you to just ask about the shoe rules blindly. Typically, if someone doesn't like outdoor shoes to be worn in, they'll let you know before you have to ask. Also, if I have to have a repair person come into the home service lines or appliances, the company will require them to wear paper booties over their shoes, as they would be held financially responsible for any carpet/furniture cleaning bills if they were to track something in from outside. I personally hate wearing shoes in general, but my best friend has foot pain or lower back pain, and walking around without shoes is rather uncomfortable. But if he tracks debris from outside, I'm never shy about handing him a broom to sweep up his mess lol 😆 love you two, btw.. I stumbled onto your videos the other day when I saw the video explaining the history of our national anthem, and I must say I cried, and didn't know why, because our political and social climate at the moment has taken a toll on our country in a big way. There's so much discord and division going on that you sometimes forget where you came from. Watching it through *your* eyes, however, has reignited the very basic pride I was raised to have in my country. I don't think any one belief system around the world is the right one, but your roots and culture should at least be important to the individual having them. I have no problem with the pausing, in fact I prefer hearing your thoughts on each as you're having them. Keep it up, guys!
I grew up in Montana and we always took our shoes off at the door whether it was our home to the home of others. Western Canadians do the same thing.
The shoes thing definitely varies between each house hold and circumstances. For example, my family takes our shoes off at the front door. But if you're not going to be in the house for more than like 5-10 minutes, then we'll just leave them on (unless they're dirty)
Edit: Also, if you guys ever plan on coming over, I think the weirdest part might be the vehicles for you. We've got everything from tiny, very low cars to massive lifted trucks.
American here- I really despise small talk and have never been any good at it. I once got an uber to the airport and the driver invited me to sit in the front seat, which was both weird and awkward, and then proceeded to make small talk all the way to the airport. It was miserable! (But I still tipped). I also think the cleaning up your mess should apply to movie theaters as well. I can't understand how so many people leave empty popcorn bags and drink containers all over their seats after the movie is over. They literally have a trash bin right outside the door on your way out!!
I've always found it weird to take the backseat in a ride share. We don't need to talk, but comfortability is still a thing. Also, I tend to remove my shoes in another's household. But I'll allow a pet from a visitor and clean up afterwards. I guess it depends on the people.
I can do small talk if it’s just “how are you doing”. But if it goes on and on I’m uncomfortable. I don’t want to talk to my hairdresser or massage therapist or nail tech. That is my “me” time and I want to relax. (Said as if I have the money to go to any of those places lately 😂). I also always ride in the back whether it’s a taxi or Uber. They are providing the same service and they are not friends of mine giving me a ride. I agree about cleaning up after yourself in the movie theater!
In Australia you clean up after yourself at a movie and he’s wrong about taxis. I never sit in the front of a taxi. It’s pretty mixed. Most people I know who travel for work sit in the back of a taxi. I always take my shoes off as soon as I get home. I don’t want to track any muck through my house and I don’t want my guests doing that either. Polite people ask what your preference is and you adopt that. The thing I found incredibly rude in the USA was how many people would say “what”
when they misheard something, instead of beg your pardon.
@@kayelle8005 interesting. It's not rude to say "what" here. I'm hard of hearing and tend to say "I'm sorry, what" because I know how annoying it is to have someone repeat themselves. I certainly wouldn't deem "what" as "incredibly rude". I can't remember the last time I heard "beg your pardon". My grandparents may have used the term or something. It seems antiquated.
@@bpwn3r we have expressions here that are common that seem very old fashioned or my American friends. One of them was very surprised that we still say “I reckon …” she told me she never heard anyone using that when answering a question.
Saying “what” instead of “beg your pardon” or “excuse me” or “sorry I didn’t hear you”, or “I couldn’t quite catch that”, is something we associate with a lack of manners or a lack of education. It was really jarring to me on my first couple of trips to the USA. I’ve only been to about ten states but people did it everywhere and in different contexts so I assumed it must not be considered rude to Americans. Interesting the various cultural norms and etiquette conventions. That’s why I like these kinds of videos.
On the cab thing it's also a security issue, especially in big cities. Those partitions are there for a reason, cab robberies are a thing here and while not as bad as they used to be you'd be hard pressed to find a cabbie comfortable with someone jumping into the passenger seat.
The 90s were rough as far as this goes
Came to the comments looking for this!
It has extended to Uber and Lyft too. You always get in the back first and take a front seat if there isn't enough room for everyone.
I replied to this same issue above, but considering how serious this issue is, I'll say it again. My grandfather drove a taxi in St.Louis, MO back in the 1960s. He was murdered by someone who shot him in the head from the back seat and robbed him. There were no bullet proof glass shields between front and back seats way back then or he would probably have been alive much longer. He was only in his 50s when he died. I'm all for maintaining distance between drivers and passengers--it isn't a respect thing, it's a security thing.
My FAVORITE PART of giving a gift is seeing the person open it. ❤️ I just love it.
I love watching that, too! Whenever I get a gift I always ask if I can open it right then. There were only a few times when I had to wait and that was just when it was close to Christmas.
I'm from the midwest and am of an older generation. I was an adult before I ever heard of anyone taking their shoes off in the house, until my brother married a Korean woman. Farmhouses generally had a mud room at the entry to take off muddy outdoor shoes, but they would put on clean shoes (not house shoes or slippers) to wear inside. In more modern times, people with white carpets might want people to remove their shoes, but it seemed rude to me.
I was surprised to hear in Japan it is rude to hand money directly to the cashier and also rude to tip, where here in the US even through a pandemic, it's rude to set the money down on the counter and not tip service workers. And yes in the US we'll walk around all day long if our feet are comfortable with our shoes on in the house, but we'll also walk outside all day long barefoot, but I guess the last part depends on how clean our neighborhood is?
I lived in Korea for a while. They never hand cash directly across the counter either. There is always a small tray to set it in.
Bro even reading you say put the money on the counter made me mad. Gave me retail flashbacks from 10 years ago lol.
American here, I can attest that it is definitely not just in the movies, I have my sneakers on still right now in the house watching this. Some families do take them off at the door but that is not the usual. Great reactions by the way!!!
It isn't anything I make an effort to think about really. Sometimes the shoes stay on, sometimes not. The general guidelines that I personally use are these: at a person's house I don't know very well, shoes stay on. Shoes also typically stay on if people even my closest friends or family have small kids around because stepping on jacks, Legos, barbie shoes and accessories, etc. is no fun bare-footed. Also shoes stay on if there is inside pets (typically dogs) because it really sucks stepping in dog pee with socks on or bare-footed. Shoes come off if I'm at home, or at a person's house where I am comfortable, unless the conditions I previously mentioned above are in play. Also, if my shoes are muddy, or excessively dirty I will take them offal the front door and leave them on tile near the door, or leave them just outside on the patio out of the way so they aren't a tripping hazard.
I wear flip-flops inside my house. Actually, I wear them everywhere. I can't even remember the last time I put on a pair of sneakers.
personally I hate anything on my feet. it's gotta be below freezing for me to wear shoes
@@jjw1072 me too! I can't remember the last time I wore anything other than flip flops unless I'm going to church then I wear high heels. LOL!
WHAT THE HECK IS WITH YOU WEIRD PEOPLE WEARING UNCOMFORTABLE , SMELLY DIRTY shoes (not sandals, moccasins, flip-flops, etc. but actual shoes)in the house. Were you people raised in a barn too?
You never call your teachers by their first name. I was a teacher for many years. Sometimes a student might accidentally call me “mom” and I will just laugh, but the “Miss or Mrs.” in front of your last name is a must. I think it is because the title is a mark of respect.
When I was younger. We would keep our shoes on unless the weather was bad. So, mostly in the summer we might wear them. In the winter we always wore boots and took them off at the door. Then I got married to a Korean and was banned from ever wearing shoes in the house. Plus, my family also started doing it.
Friendliness varies immensely depending on where you live. In some of the rougher cities you can live next door to someone for years and not even know their name. Trying to have small talk in some places can be met with aggression.
There are some very friendly places in America but just be aware there are also some very unfriendly or outright dangerous places in America as well.
As a Texan, I wouldn’t necessarily agree with us not being touchy-feely. We pretty routinely hug people after we meet.
Truth! I’m a hugger
True here too. I’m a hugger and a Texan! Shoes are optional at our house. We don’t care either way, just glad you’re here! I don’t do anything on the floor but walk on it, so it is not a big deal for shoes to be worn in the house. I will say though that I sweep every day and mop once a week and immediately when something is spilled or what have you. Thanks for the videos. Enjoy them very much. New sub!
Texan hugger here! It's pretty common for strangers to hug after a random 20 min conversation.
Texan and a huge hugger!
Depends where in the country you are from. I know us East coast folks are not always huggers
Smiling- The US hospitality Industry has a big part in both this and saying hello or "how are you". It is common practice to acknowledge a person within 10ft of you with a friendly nod or smile if you make eye contact. Within 5ft you say hello etc..
I have never been to a house where I have needed to takeoff my shoes. In fact, in my Mexican American household you must wear some sort of shoe. Flip-flops and slippers is typically what we usually wear. I know a lot of other Mexican American household that have this rule and believe that if you walk around barefoot you will get sick
As far as the shoes thing, people generally take them off in their own house, and sometimes have other people take their shoes off coming in if the shoes are full of mud or snow. Otherwise, most people will look at you funny if you take your shoes off in their house. I find that the few people who do require people to take shoes off coming in will say so when you enter their house because they know they're the exception not the rule.
Exactly
This actually isn't true. I'm from the US and I've actually learned that this depends on where you're at geographically. Sure you have the odd one out that will ask you to take them off even in a geographic area where people don't care but I know where I live in my state people actually don't care and you can wear them so it varies where you are.
No, they generally don't. Your family may, but most Americans don't, nor do they care.
This business of taking shoes off when they are not muddy or with snow is just dumb as they come.
The shoes thing definitely varies by family to family, racial/ethnic background, and personal tastes. When I was younger, people used to have carpet wall to wall, and taking shoes off was a definite way to avoid anxiety of leaving any marks or causing extra cleanup. If I'm going to someone's house that I'm not as familiar with, I'll casually check if there are shoes around the door (or a shoe rack) and/or if the person who answers the door has their shoes on. If in doubt, I'll just start to take my shoes off, and the worst they will say is "oh, you don't have to take your shoes off" and usually view it as a sign of respect.
I like most of the pauses. Gives us a chance to feel engaged in the conversation.
What is meant by restaurants is the kind where there AREN'T any condiments on the table. You can go to fine or FANCY places and still ask for special accommodations most times.
Yes, we wear our shoes indoors. Enjoying your reactions.
love that's
Personal experience, we always kept our shoes on to prevent foot and toe injuries. Sports, hot weather, rocks, snakes, and the inevitable immovable object in your home etc...It's common to keep your shoes on in some parts of the USA.
Thats extremely unsanitary. I’d suggest getting a pair of shoes to exclusively wear in your house. That’s what I do.
About the shoes thing, as an American I grew up in the midwest with a lot of snow and slush in the colder months. I take my shoes off at the door, but have slippers that I put on right after. I have wood floors in my house, so it can get pretty cold. I also keep extra slipper socks for people who come over because I don’t really want them wearing their shoes, but I know how cold my floors are. I also bring slipper socks with me to other peoples houses. I crochet them myself, so if they accidentally bring them home or want to keep them it’s no big deal. I’ll just make another pair.
the shoe thing is different for every family. Usually, if the house has carpet they'll ask for you to take your shoes off but a house with tile won't
For gifts, I always say "thank you" as soon as I receive it, and wait for an invitation to open it. Usually, that invite takes about two seconds to happen, but occasionally the gifter will take that pause as an opportunity suggest when they'd prefer it to be opened. Giving it a few seconds between initial "thank you" and ripping into it looks less greedy/more grateful for the thought than the specific item and gives the gifter a chance to add any verbal notes.
I think that style of "testing the waters with a pause" etiquette is pretty common, because it's a "safe" approach.
Not sure about taking off your shoes at the door? Take a two second pause as you come in to give your feet an extra swipe at the mat while looking down at your shoes. You'll quickly see if other shoes are nearby -including on the feet of your host- and you're simultaneously showing your host you're concerned about dirty footwear. That's their cue to guide you through the household norms, if they think anything needs to be said. (It's usually phrased as "Don't worry about your shoes, my floors are a mess, anyway" [even if they aren't] or "You can leave your shoes here" [usually pointing out a specific place] rather than firm directives.) Even if it turns out they aren't a "shoes off in the house" family, you've shown respect for their home and housekeeping with those extra couple of seconds of shoe wiping.
Not sure of the exact details of the tipping culture at a specific establishment? Salons are the worst for this. Some have your stylist doubling as your cashier, so you can tip at the till. Some expect the tip to be handed to them when you get out of the chair. Some expect the tip to be discreetly dropped onto their workstation as you get ready to step away, but not if they're sharing a workstation with another stylist. The best answer is usually to hesitate with your wallet in hand until the stylist drops you a non-verbal hint.
There's a ton of little stuff like that. When in doubt, pause for a couple of seconds and present non-verbal cues as to your questions. Usually works.
Many of us leave shoes on in the house because our pets go outside, and it is difficult to ensure that the pets aren't tracking unwanted stuff on the floor where you'd be walking with bare feet
Lol so true
I like it when you pause because you are able to make relevant comments as you go.
I started chatting with a couple and their children at Disney in Florida...we spent the rest of our vacation together. They invited us to England (Clitheroe) and they attended our wedding in Connecticut. (He wore a kilt, we don't see that much here)
did you actually stay in clitheroe ? what did you think of it ? and uk generally ?
Whenever the subject of small talk and Americans' attitude toward it comes up, I'm reminded of an old beer commercial. It's a New York City pub, and there are a few regulars who are friends and one guy obviously visiting from another part of the country sitting at the bar. Another local guy walks in and says, "How you doin'?" to his friends, who answer in kind. He asks the visitor the same thing, out of politeness, and the guy says, "I'm doin' fine," then launches into a long-winded story in a Southern twang about his trip to NYC. They advertise the beer, then cut back to the bar, where the locals are trapped listening to this guy. Another friend walks into the bar, asks, "How you doin'?" as his friends gesture wildly behind the Southerner's back to shut up. The visitor says, "I'm doin' fine," then repeats his story from the top.
Long story short, if you're visiting from another country and are wondering about small talk, read the room. That's actually good advice for most foreign visitors unsure about customs in any given situation.
The shoes in the house is about 50/50. My dad grew up in Italy and came to the U.S in the 60’s. Absolutely no shoes were ever allowed in my house, but my friends who had been settled in America longer ALWAYS wear shoes inside.
It’s not 50/50.
The vast majority of Americans wear their shoes in their homes.
The vast majority of the time it depends on the type of flooring and if there are dogs in the house. Hard floors and/or dogs is shoes on, if it’s carpet it’s hit or miss.
Shoes off is definitely a regional thing. If you live in an area that gets snow, you usually take your shoes off, even if it is summer
You pause whenever you feel like it! This is YOUR reaction channel and you are reacting and we are all enjoying it!
😎✌️❤
As an American, at home I want to be comfortable in what I'm wearing. In the summer its flip flops, but in winter its moccasins. However, if company is coming over, then I put on casual shoes or sneakers. Everyone keeps their shoes on unless they are coming from a pigsty, mud pit or an oil field which is never.
From the US here, love your banter. As far as shoes in the house, i've only ever been to one house that i was asked to take my shoes off. I thought such a request was rude and never went back. Schools in central Pennsylvania are required to address teachers with a Mrs, Miss or Mr and last name; the younger preschool kids address their teacher as Miss or Mr and their first name. Again, love listening to you two break the video to discuss it as you go, that way you don't forget something by doing it all at the end.
I'm from Central Pennsylvania too! Growing up I didn't take off my shoes in the house, but now that I have my own place I do, because I have white carpet
Do not take Pennsylvania customs as common across the board
I respect that some people have extreme allergies and shoes drag in allergens but some people are just clean freaks and I find that rude. It feels so weird to take your shoes off in someone else’s house. It’d be like putting on pajamas when you go to someone’s house. I don’t feel fully dressed. Some of my in-laws are clean freaks that don’t allow shoes in their house and I always have to remember to wear socks because I feel weird and dirty to have bare feet in someone else’s house.
@Mlee-W Why would you have white carpet? bet you do not have kids.
I've never been asked to take my shoes off in someone else's house, other than when I was in Hawaii. There it was accepted practice everywhere, the houses where you didn't expect it out of the ordinary.
As for myself, if I'm staying in I wear sandals, but if I'm going out I put on a pair of shoes and don't bother them off until I go to bed, usually.
…. We do wear shoes in the house a lot….. I never noticed it😂
Growing up, I put my shoes on in the morning, and didn't take them off until I was getting ready for bed. As an adult (and due to a lot of influence from other cultures), I see how that can be a little gross. My general strategy is to just do what everyone else is doing. If I walk into a house, and the owner takes off their shoes, I will do likewise.
Even in US, some fast food places have staff that are assigned to specifically care for the dining area. They wipe down tables and the drink area, clean up spills, etc.
One is still expected to actually bus your own area.
I Absolutely Enjoy when you pause and have discussions 👏😁 I feel as though we are siblings or cousins in our basic fundamentals 🙌🙏 also I tend to comment as I go instead of waiting until the end.... Anyway, I adore you both 🥰
Ct.,U.S.A.
I keep my shoes on inside but I have to due to damage to my tendons in my legs! (Spent a week in a coma and nearly 3 months in a hospital bed! Lucky I can walk at all!). Teachers are addressed with their title and last name in most if not all schools in the US that I know of! I still talk to my second grade teacher and she attended my wedding in 2019! I still address her as “Mrs. Amundson”! There is a long story as to the reason I kept in touch!
In our family, we have a different pair of shoes for indoors that are typically not worn outdoors. As for formality with names, in the southern US someone older than you is referred to Ms. or Mr. coupled with their first name (i.e. Ms. Shirley) In school we are formal as you've described. Love what you all are doing. Thank you for your interest and candid reactions. All the best!
I completely HAVE to have house shoes. Usually a cheap pair of slip on sneakers. I get WAY too lazy if I wear slippers all the time.
All of this, plus Southerners are more likely to smile, engage in that small talk, and kiss/hug family when entering the house, possibly some other items listed too. I have dogs, who track in from outside, so I'm not picky about my shoes (though we do all have 'house shoes'), but my Korean and Taiwanese Aunts (fully assimilated Americans) will lose their $h*t in 2 languages about shoes past the entry mat.
Well my kids call their teachers by Mr/Ms/Mrs, whatever their last name is; I address them like that as well when we talk at meetings. I really enjoy seeing you guys banter on your channel, I think that when it comes to the pausing of the videos is fine, because I wanna know your guys opinions at the time you are pausing.
My experience... cashiers don't (or very rarely) clean up after people at restaurants but there also isn't a separate cleaner/greeter person manning the customer area. Usually they've got a cleaner/bus boy type of employee who works primarily or almost exclusively behind the counter, and when they see a mess left behind, they have to come out and throw it away, but there MEANT to be helping and cleaning up after the people putting your food orders together in the kitchen area of the restaurant.
The shoes in the house ( in movies) are for continuity purposes. The reason some people may have shoes on in their house is bc they maybe going back out soon or doing house/ yard work. Most of us take our shoes off in our own homes. Guest normally don't take their shoes off b/c there isn't a dedixated shoe closet or bin to leave them and it can get messy and a trip hazard if you just leave them by the front door.
My parents would put their shoes on in the morning and they wouldn’t come off until they went to bed. It was considered fully dressed and polite. Being barefoot was for kids and lazy people.
I’m much more relaxed about it, and am usually sans shoes in the house. But I ABSOLUTELY do not care if people come in and want to be either in their shoes or out. Do what you want, you’re the guest, and your comfort comes first.
With first names: I don’t let my kids call adults by their first names. Depending on the degree of relationship, it’s “mr/Mrs/miss last name”. If they’re closer it’s “mr./miss first name” (even if the woman is married, it’s “Miss first name), or if the relationship is very close it’s sometimes “aunt/uncle first name”, even if we are not related. My neighbor children across the street Call me “aunt”.
We’ve become too casual out in public and i believe it’s a major factor in how badly behaved we can be toward customer service personnel. I dress nicely even to go to the grocery, and I get treated more politely, and I treat others more politely because of it.
My maternal grandparents had “house shoes” and “outside shoes”. My mother wears house slippers but my dad always goes either barefoot or in socks. For me it depends. If I’m running in to grab something or to use the bathroom while I’m out and about then I leave my shoes on. If I plan to be at home for the day/evening, I wear my shoes into my room to put them away and wear socks or go barefoot. Relationship wise children call everyone (here in the south) Mr or Mrs. Sometimes you use their first name and sometimes their last. We have lots of Aunts and Uncles of close family friends but I have many adults that I knew from birth that we used their first names because it was like being with our family. I currently call my boss by Mrs. (last name) but I don’t know her well and I’m a teacher. In front of the students I call the other teachers Mrs/Mr (last name) but when we are without kids we use either their first name or just their last name as a reference. It is “Hey Tina” when talking to or “I need to ask Dyer” when talking about.
In my house it's always the guest's choice for everything because I was raised that the comfort of the guest is paramount. My parents even used to let their guests smoke in their house even though they didn't smoke and it stank up the house.
This is the most common sense reply I have seen regarding this issue. Many people feel uncomfortable taking off their shoes just as if you would ask them to take off their pants and run around in their underwear. They may have feet that don't smell great, they may have a hole in their sock that day, often girls will wear a small heel to be a bit taller and you take that away from them when you force them to leave their shoes at the door. And girls often will wear shoes that don't require socks do you really want someone walking barefoot around your house and in your bathroom Etc? In the end it really is up to the guest but in my experience gets normally only children that would take their shoes off often at their parents request because they may have jumped in a puddle or gotten in some mud but most adults know to scrub their feet on the mat before coming into someone's house.
We wear slippers in our house. Wearing street shoes indoors is considered unsanitary and rude in my family.
It would be considered unsanitary and disrespectful to wear shoes in someone's home.
Fun extra shoe fact. I live in a string of islands in the US, and while a person won't often mind you wearing your shoes in their house, will absolutely require you to take them off when boarding their boat. It's considered rude to board someone's boat with shoes on.
Is this in Hawaii or Alaska or the Carolinas, or?
Soft shoes, like sneakers, are best for boats.
Oh that sounds like Virgin Islands?
The condiments thing really depends on the restaurant. If you're at a diner, ask away. If you're at a fancy steakhouse, you can ask... but people will judge you for sure.
Tipping is always expected and the standard is 20%.
Opening gifts in front of the giver really depends. Some people are embarrassed to have their gift opened in front of them. I usually ask them if they want me to open it right away or wait until later.
Shoes depends on the house. I always take my shoes off when I get home. Usually people with hardwood floors don't mind if you keep your shoes on, but houses with carpet usually prefer that you leave your shoes at the door. Always ask.
Great video 👍
I was looking if anyone made this comment. There are plenty of restaurants where asking for condiments is bad, high end pretentious places or quality steakhouses. And bad places where the chef has more ego than skill.
I’m almost 60 years old and have rarely ridden in a cab. I’ve very rarely used public transportation. We usually take our own vehicle when we travel. If we fly, we rent a car to get around after we land.
The shoes in the house thing is a little complicated. In movies and tv it’s just because it would be weird to spend time on the characters taking their shoes off during scenes. In reality, it’s more complicated. Obviously in areas of the US where there’s snow and muddy rainy seasons there’s a dedicated area to take your shoes off. There’s even houses that have a “mud room” for boots and winter coats and whatnot. However, in the summer months and more arid regions of the US, shoes just don’t get that dirty, and lots of floors in the US are easily cleanable. There’s also the fact that a large percentage of the population here only spends the few seconds walk from their home to their car outside, so shoes never get a chance to get dirty!
Yeah we call it the "stoop" where we take off large boots when its raining or snowing. Inside to the kitchen we have a little space where we put sneakers or dress shoes
Taking the shoes off was in the opening scene in Mr Roger's Neighborhood.
@@nuclearpoweredbrain2211 And we remember that aspect of Mr. Rogers, due to how much it differs from what you usually see in shows and movies.
@@KevinSmith-gu7fb yeah, most people don't sing and toss their shoes from one hand to the other while looking into a camera when they come home. For me, that's what was different.
@@nuclearpoweredbrain2211 but he puts on other shoes. I have my house shoes too. I take off my outdoor shoes and put on my house slippers pretty soon after coming inside.
And yes, we wear our shoes inside. We wipe our shoes off first. A person will ask you to take their shoes off before entering if they don't like it.
In the south we say Miss,Mrs. and Mr.
@@AJDunnReadsandWrites for most Americans feel the opposite I suppose, would you walk into a market barefoot? That is gross 🤣. But in our house we actually wear slippers, or "house shoes". Because my girlfriend is a fanatic about her floors. 😂😂😂🤘🏻❤️
I just paused the video to make a comment that when you pause it is perfectly fine with me since your reaction and comments are why I watch your channel.
Now, about the shoes indoors.....when I was a child 60's and 70's, it was very unusual for people to take their shoes off at the door, but now it is very common. Although there are still a lot of Americans that do not. What really drives me crazy in movies is when they leave their shoes on when they are laying on a bed. No one I know does that.
Most big chain fast food places have staff specifically designated to keeping tables clean and so on, but I never leave my trash behind
That's cause you were in NYC. NYC isn't overly friendly.
That's ironic you say that, because NYC actually has the stereotype of being rude, and unfriendly. It's mostly New Yorkers being rude to other New Yorkers, but it's such a fast paced city, and people are often in a rush to get somewhere, that if you get in someone's way, or slow them down, they will express their displeasure to you directly and bluntly for how you inconvenienced them.
@@whitepicklejuice oh I know man. I've spent time there. I live in upstate NY. Only about 2hrs from the city.
I feel the "unfriendly" thing is usually just "in a hurry". I live halfway between Boston and New York. People hurry around a lot and get used to being short with people. It does come off that way, though
I live in Massachusetts and it is a fast paced culture. It depends on who you are talking to at any given time of day.
A few of those (ie shoes in the house, opening gifts immediately) differ from region to region or family to family, but we are also aware that it varies across the country so a quick ask about how to proceed is never problematic.
As for addressing teachers, it is either Mr./Mrs./Ms. and the full surname or, if the teacher has a hard or unusual surname or if the teacher wants to be less formal they might have the students just use the first letter of their surname along with the Mr./Ms./Mrs. - so you’d have Mr. K. and Mrs. S. alongside Ms. Jones and Mr. Smyth.
With the occasional Miss Alice or Coach Mike. Honorific and first name
@@JustMe-dc6ks I can see the formulation of “coach” + given name as an exception, but not the other example for a teacher - maybe for a TA or something though...
I like that you pause and add comments. It is interesting hearing your views on our ways over here in the USA.
When it comes to names it's all about the elders and respect
I've read a lot of different things about shoes in the house in the US, and it seems to me that there isn't a single nationwide way of dealing with that. My experience is as follows:
I take my shoes off in my own house, but leave them on in other people's houses unless they are good friends or are family. I would feel uncomfortable being that casual in someone's home if I'd just met them.
In some peoples homes it would be rude not to take your shoes off.
Interesting how shoes off can be seen as polite or rude, yet I have experienced enough variety to get both mindsets.
Yep, it's very variable. No consensus
Yeah, we wear our shoes in the house. My Australian wife found it weird, as well. I don't know why we do it. I actually didn't notice that we do it until my wife brought it up. I don't expect guests to get undressed (aka take your shoes off) just to come to visit me at my house. If it's a BBQ we are in and out of the house, I don't expect you to take your shoes off and put them back on as you are coming inside and going outside.
When I was in school it was Mr. and Mrs. I don't know what it's like now. And they were strict about it. It's seen as disrespectful to call your teacher otherwise.
That’s funny because I’m Australian and we wear shoes inside. Obviously, we take them off if the are dirty but generally leave them on.
Love the comments during the video. Keep doing it,👍👍
You are right. You saw shoes worn inside the American house. That's how we roll. We Americans love our shoes. It prevents us from hurting our feet when we step on Legos or breaking our toes on crowded furniture.
The shoes thing VERY MUCH depends on the region and the specific household. It really is best to ask, or just watch what the house owner does and do the same. Some Americans hate the idea of shoes in the house, some find it weird if you take them off.
I think the point is the hear what you think so don't worry about pausing.
In schools, we generally address our teachers (and school administrators) by their last names only (Mr. Russell, Ms. Jackson), NEVER their first names. This is especially emphasized in children, where every adult who works at the school is Mr. or Ms. Whoever. In fact, in most American schools, students might not even know a given teacher's first name at all. There could be some experimental schools where students address teachers by first name, but in the majority of public and private schools in the US, tradition rules.
When it comes to work and supervisors and managers, the more traditional way is by addressing them by last name (Mr. Jones, Mrs. Abbott, etc.), but as this is now considered fairly formal, it's becoming more common for managers and supervisors to request their employees to address them by first name, so as to foster a more informal relationship and thus build a stronger team mindset.
I think the age rule can apply here too. If there is a young person who may be new in a more professional environment, they may refer to the senior executives/bosses as Mr/Mrs. Especially if there is a lack of familiarity.
Yup, when I was in elementary school, most of the kids didn't know the teacher's first names. We would have compititions to see which kid could find out the most first names. We didn't have an easy way to find their first names untill middle school when we got schedules and the first and last name of every teacher was just printed right there with everything else.
this may also vary by region. The south tends to lean more traditional/formal. Coming from Michigan, saying "thank you" to school staff was perfectly polite... in Florida, I was chastised for not adding "ma'am" which was quite foreign to me at the time.
I always leave my shoes on when we have guests... that way they can feel at home either way.
American here, I love the pausing with the commentary 😊
I love it exactly the way you two do it and can't wait for more.
My two cents on the shoes indoor question; Americans keep traditions whether we realize we are doing it or not. Imagine you live in a log cabin. Shoes on or not? Dirt floors, shoes on or not? Cold New England weather, shoes on or not? It was a matter of protecting the feet. It is to my mind a hold over of what families have always done because at one time floors were cold, splintery, dirty or you might need those shoes to make a run for it if attacked by hostiles.
I dunno, I live in Canada, so pretty similar living conditions at the time back then, and I don't know a single person who doesn't take their shoes off when you enter someones house. It'd be weird if someone didn't.
Well, I grew up in Texas but now live in Arkansas. I am a hugger, but only after I feel the other person is ok with it. I usually ask if I can open a gift immediately or should wait. I love to smile, small talk if it comfortable and try to respect the other person's reaction. I definitely have a bubble and the more you invade my bubble, the bigger it gets. Most of these things vary from region, state and even background. I enjoy watching you videos. It is nice to see how people see us from the outside.
You always ask "should I take my shoes off" but often the answer is "no" in Minnesota unless it's wet outside when it snows or rains...Some houses have "mud rooms" where we leave our wet boots and shoes before entering the home. Good video Mr. Beesley...
SKOL!
@@mickymoist Skol...
You two have great banter. The fun of a reaction video, is watching people react. It's much worse to sit there and not say anything.
I'm American, but my ancestry is English and French as well! But the French is far enough removed, there is no cheek kissing. I like my American space bubble , ha.
In my family, taking your shoes off was seen as getting comfortable. You didn't take your shoes off unless you were going to sleep there. Like, akin to raiding someone's fridge. In my own house growing up, my dad hated if we were not wearing shoes and he wanted to go somewhere. He hated waiting for us to put our shoes on and sometimes would even cancel the outing if we didn't hurry enough. Well, I'm an adult now, and I don't wear shoes in my house, and I make my dad take his shoes off when he visits.
My shoes definitely come off as soon as I get home! I enjoy the way you pause, it's nice to hear your thoughts.
If someone tells you tipping isn't mandatory in the us I feel they've never worked in restaurants. Technically it isn't but in most places wait staff make under $3 an hour. The tips are their pay check. So it's basically mandatory.
It's not mandatory but we know that people don't make much hourly in the food service business and we know that their paychecks and livelihood are counting on tips. Out of respect and common sense we make sure to leave a tip.
@@kristam6885 I don't think there's a lie here, but I do think you misunderstand what is being said. "Basically mandatory" was saying just that, it isn't technically mandatory, but in application it BASICALLY is. It's mandatory for waiters to be tipped because corporations generally pay them under minimum wage, legally and on purpose. Because they can't live off of less than minimum wage, waiters would not take waiting jobs unless they were tipped. So it's "basically mandatory" because otherwise no one would wait tables. Knowing their salary is structured this way, and going out to eat, but not tipping-is incredibly selfish and most people aren't willing to put another person in that position. So people's conscience makes it... basically mandatory to tip.
$2.19 per hour, plus tips. If a customer doesn't tip, the server cannot keep that job!!!!!
@@kristam6885 Maybe Congress should make all restaurants go with $20 wage and no tipping policy?
Plus as wait staff you typically have to tip out your cooks and host staff plus pay taxes and pay the bill for anyone that dined and dashed and pay the fines if you get any alcohol fines.
It depends for me with the weather outside. I don't want snow tracked through the house. Most of floors are made of wood. But sometimes I am comfortable wearing my shoes in the house.
I like that you paused and commented as it went otherwise I might get confused
No worries on the pausing, you two are charming & funny. Keep it up!
One of the most epic college football games of all time was the 2007 Fiesta Bowl. Boise State vs Oklahoma. I'd love for you to react to the highlight video of it! Boise state was a no-name, underdog school who had the chance to take down one of the best teams in the country. And they did it in spectacular fashion.
As an American, the fast food table cleaning really depends on the restaurant. There are plenty of restaurants, such as Chick-fil-A, that do pay employees to walk around, clean tables, get refills for customers, etc.
There are some that don't, and the tables are frequently filthy, KFC comes to mind first. It really just depends on the restaurant, though.
Chick-fil-a doesn't do that in nyc. There are no refills here & you clear your own table. Someone comes to wipe off whatever you've spilled but it's tacky to leave your mess for them.
@@L-M-O-1 well, I wasn't saying they always clean take your trash and get refills for you. It probably depends on how well they are staffed/how busy they are. With everywhere struggling to find workers, they might not be doing here now either.
When it’s muddy and yuk outside we like shoes off at door. But some walk around with shoes on. Usually the door will have a sign saying to remove shoes in the muddy spring time to a sign saying to wipe your feet.
In reference to the teachers and the such, we refer to them as Mr. /Mrs. etc but when referring to bosses and the like it is most commonly just by first name basis.
One good thing about the tipping culture is that sometimes when service is particularly bad, leaving a small tip, like a dollar or change is actually more telling than no tip.
The smiling thing, you went to new york, right!? Not particularly known for their smiling personality, but for much of the country it is much more common.
I am more likely to get in the back with a taxi than like an uber, I am happy to take cues from the driver. If they are chatty I might get in the front if an uber, but if they are quiet or seem unfriendly or disinterested, I'll get in the back.
As for shoes inside, I think a lot of people have hardwood or tile floors, so shoes are not a big deal, but people with carpeted floors are more likely to have a no shoes preference.
Sir names are generally required in schools and may be expected in only the most formal settings otherwise. Most people go by first name.
The small talk thing is generally BS.
Shoes are based on whether or not a person wants to have to clean up after people ever day and shoes on in TV and movies is a matter of convenience.
In my entire time in school I never called a teacher by their first name. Out of the 50 or so teachers I knew maybe 3 first names
Tipping of 15% is the minimal percentage expected for minimal service.
The shoes thing def depends on the household. Some don't care (usually younger people or those that don't have many carpeted floors) others absolutely won't tolerate shoes being worn inside (usually if they have carpeted floors). Also, if people just use their first name in introductions that's what you use, if they use both their first and last name then it's Mr/Ms and their last name unless they tell you otherwise.... if you haven't been introduced, it's always Sir/Mam or their title and last name (Mr/Ms Smith, Dr Smith, etc) until an introduction has been made.
It’s always polite to ask if you should take your shoes off at someone’s house (especially if they have carpeted floors, I automatically take them off). We still are formal with our school teachers, addressing them as Mr. Jones, Miss Cosantino, Mrs. Birch, etc. Space bubbles change distance in size from whether you’re from a rural area or an urban area. People in rural areas like more distance when speaking with someone. Here in Chicagoland, our “bubbles” are smaller, like the man said (arms length). If someone keeps backing away from you, could mean they grew up in a rural area, so don’t take offense. Hope this helps!! 😀
Being from Texas, with it being so big, you meet a variety of ppl, but even a big city like NYC was a culture shock to some extent for me the first time I went. People up north would be considered slightly less friendly than where I'm from, but there are still lots of friendly people compared to many other countries.
I've come to the conclusion that wherever you have grifters you get reserved people. Being from the south and going to a big city, even Houston ( which is only an hour drive for me), there are differences. Someone comes up to you, you don't tell them to f off, but that would be the right thing to do in many circumstances in big cities in my experience.
Yes, most people do wear shoes in their own home sometimes over here in the USA. Mer personally, I have always hated shoes but it's still allowed in our home somewhat. :) Schools do require addressing staff with honorifics such as Mr & Ms.