I learnt the small praise trick when I was a supervisor at a factory I worked in, a friend who studied psychology told me about so I started praising work mates praise for the most menial tasks and without praise for larger tasks so that they would do them to the best of their abilities, it's absolutely terrifying how far they would go to be praised and I learnt very quickly to use it with the utmost respect
Some warehouse environments try this. Amazon has been a big one for me. The problem is, praise tactics are a trauma point for some people, myself included, so any time praise is doled out, meaningful or meaningless, I razor focus on it and shut down.
@@twisvis5531 meaningless praise will quickly null and void the praise, you have to understand each person and engage them, you have to be genuine, i always tried to use for motivation not manipulation
this works only on people who are starved off affection and are quite lonely and are people pleasers due to trauma for example. It doesn't work on healthy individuals
I love that that one poster was so wholesome that their idea of a "dark psychology trick" was being so nice to people that they would be nice to you back.
That is evil. Someone will begin a great friendship with you, then take it away. You _will_ try to save the friendship. And it's only the beginning of the downward spiral.
If you're in a crowded place like a party and let's say you need to get to the table on the other side of the room, just walk straight, don't look anywhere else but the table and people will naturally move away and create space for you to walk since they'll look at your eyes. This almost always works, everywhere, no matter my destination. It also helps me when I don't want to look at anyone and just want to avoid any form of interaction.
If someone is throwing a temper tantrum, treat them like a child. Don't argue or try to reason with them, just act calm and let them tire themselves out with their tantrum.
I work in customer service and I can confirm this actually does work. You would be surprised how many adults are really just 40-something year-old children
@@craboo8668 my therapist gave this advice to me to my narcissistic mother when she threw a childish fit and it worked except that one time I talked down to her and said “Wow those are some big feelings! It’s ok to feel your feelings!”
the beating up a bully one tho, isnt it insane that "bullying" is so disregarded in school spaces when its straight up targeted harassment because "theyre kids" - but the second the child being mentally tormented by their harasser beats the damn shit out of their "bully" then we treat their actions as serious and condemnable, no blanketing of their actions "because theyre just a kid" even if it was in self defense
that is a really interesting phenomenom. it's almost like the bully gets a pass as the 'stronger' one and the bullied person just attracts criticism as the supposedly 'weaker' one
@nellie__ what you just described: I’ve heard about this happening a LOT. I’m a teacher, here’s what I know: some kids that have learning differences while at the same time having behavior problems & under-developed self-regulation are supposed to be with the other kids as much as possible. Those relatively rare kids act out & hurt others and that gets labeled as a symptom of their special conditions. Enough outbursts & hurting others will result in notations in the school psychologist’s office, and if the kid gets enough of those they’ll get their I.E.P. examined. A public school isn’t supposed to discriminate, and administrators are scared of getting sued. Parents COULD say: “Y’all aren’t accommodating my child’s special needs.” Many schools use RTI (response to intervention) so the student has to keep having problems while the school makes increasingly bigger interventions. A more regular kid who doesn’t have a special I.E.P. could eventually fight back after being bullied, after being pushed too far, but that kid’s “hands on somebody else” isn’t treated like a symptom the school must make accommodations for, it’s treated like a simple “that kid straight up punched so-and-so,” and since most schools have a zero-tolerance policy on physical fighting, that’s the kid that gets disciplinary action just for defending himself. Not everyone can just pick up and move to change school districts, but I promise you that there are some public schools where culture of the neighborhood looks down upon bullying and physically fighting. The successful popular kids see bullying as immature and fist-fighting as “low class.” The good social skills and empathy that we high school teachers can’t take credit for (because it was built up in the students’s younger years) keeps the peace. It’s one America, but in there there are TONS of different school districts and they can be so different you’d think they couldn’t possibly be using the same education laws. As different as Afghanistan and Amsterdam, our districts can be.
Actually I was bullied insanely in school. One day I was winning so the whole class jumped in (rough school). When I got called in the principal was really kind and high five me for holding my own for so long. It actually really helped me get through that place. It was SOOOO much better in high-school, which I wasn't expecting.
As a previous victim, I got kicked in the nuts every week. One time I snapped and allegedly stabbed his hand with safety scissors. I didn't get in trouble, heck, I kinda befriended everyone who hated me over the following years once I became more high-functioning with my autism. Maybe the school was apologizing for the teacher that made me bite an eraser but it worked out fine
The sunk cost fallacy goes beyond just actual money related stuff. Like people stay in relationships that they really should leave because otherwise they feel that they had wasted all that time….no sweetie the rest of your life will be wasted if you don’t get out
The first dried lentils trick is straight from folklore. Apparently vampires were compelled to stop and count/organize spilled seeds or grains when they saw them, allowing the person they’re chasing to escape.
Lords above i forgot about that, Dracula isn't so scary with that! "Im gonna feed on y----OOO! Lentils!' *suddenly turns into the count from Sesame Street*
You can gaslight yourself into believing and doing pretty much everything if given enough time. And the personality you currently hold onto is extremely fragile and much more tied to your environment rather than yourself. Isolation will completely break down ones sense of self.
If you're able to, you should isolate yourself for that exact reason. Break free from the perception you have of yourself that was inflicted on you by others. Only then will you be free
@@tommysalami420 you're not wrong brother, but I promise you it's because the world has become a hostile place for people who can stand alone. Fitting in here isn't healthy, but we're out there. Have faith we will find each other, and stand strong. The hard part is over already
@@zero1188 Turn what you want to achieve into a habit. If you find yourself repeating negative self talk in your head try to stop that and focus on things you can do. They can even be incredibly simple like making a quick doodle in something like Microsoft paint. I typically make mosaics to show myself I can still make artwork. But it is mainly repetition and habitual tiny steps to what you want to do. You got this I believe in you :D
That 'praise them and then don't praise them' also has a sinister reverse side: Bully someone for a few interactions and then praise them once or twice.... For some reason, the target will take the praising from a perceived enemy as more sincere then a closest friend. It will make the target sit up at night, trying to figure out what they did to earn that praise, and in doing so... they start thinking on how they can do it again. Ultimately the same result, but sometimes you can't always start by thanking someone.... Always be weary of someone who suddenly and sharply changes their interactions.
This... i think this happened to me before. I was about nine and sat in a group of four boys and one girl in class. I sat in the corner so only one of the boys were sitting beside me. The boy alway pinched my thigh and stepped on my foot, one time even telling me i got a wrong answer on a question when we were giving our homeworks to the teach only to take my book away after i erased the answer leaving it blank. Him and the rest of the boys would call me names. The girl in our group ignored everything that happened to me. This all would always happen during the beginning of the school day, their behaviour would change after lunchtime. We would go back to class and suddenly he would be nice, talked to me and was really polite. I never really thought to tell anyone about this. I was terrified of teachers, i was also scared of my parents and i wasn't close to my siblings at the time. I don't know if the teacher picked up on it or not. (Another story that probably isn't useful.) But she moved me into a different group. Things still weren't good but at least i wasn't being bothered. Also, i know this may sound a lot like bullying. But i had a friend i opened up to about this, and they told me it was technically sexual assault. I want to comfirm if this it true.
@@aiffytham8611 I mean touching someone without consent (like him pinching your thigh) is sexual harrasment, so although I think he was only doing it to bully you, it kinda was more than that
@@Ashcatlover I don't think it is sexual assault, on contrary. They were 9 at that time. I don't think the boy had sexual intentions, and it's hard to call it sexual assault without such.
@@TheSoulCalledZuzia Trust me, at ages as young as 6-12 they can indeed SA you. Cocsa is a thing for a reason. Usually it's taken from their environment rather than personal urges but it's SA nonetheless
7:37 definitely a psychological trick and highly affective. I always "kill" with kindness. It serves multiple purposes but these two are the ones i've noticed the most: 1. They will get tripped up trying to be rude and eventually dig their own grave and are forced to either quit being rude or just stop interacting with me all together. 2. From outsiders perspective you will gain so much more respect by treating somebody being rude with kindness and the rude person will be seen in a negative light. This is really helpful in a lot of professions. As an artist it has propelled my career to a certain degree. I've noticed that super talented people that are rude, disrespectful and spiteful never get very far than those who are kind, helpful and respectful to everyone regardless of the situation. You gain so much from being kind to a rude person. Also it's hilarious seeing their confused reaction as they try to start drama and not getting the reaction they expected lmao
Power of suggestion is how, in the height of the child sexual abuse scare of the eighties and nineties, they ended up with false reporting from young children. Because it’s not just the power of suggestion but also a child’s need to agree with the adult and please the grown up. They now have a very set format for asking young children about this sort of stuff.
9:10 I think that being told "sorry, I don't want to talk right now" would also trigger a negative reaction because the person would feel that their discussion wasn't important enough to be thoroughly considered and would probably develop a negative opinion of the other
If you make it clear that you will listen to them at a later point in time, once you actually can talk with them, that should help mitigate any negative reaction.
“Hey. I really care what you are saying, but I’m having a hard time right now (or) I’m having some issues right now and I can’t focus. I need a bit to get myself together. Let me be at my best for this conversation so I can give you my all.” If possible attach a time like “10 minutes “ “Tomorrow” or say something like “I think I’d process it better if I could read it.” Don’t make it about how they are being but what your brain needs, and if they can’t respect that then why should you respect them enough to hear them out? This obviously doesn’t work for extremely serious situations.
Learned this in elementary school. If a kid has a toy you want, start taking his other toys when he's not looking, hang onto them for a few days, then sneak them back. Eventually they just get used to the fact that they're prone to losing things, and stop worrying about it knowing it'll turn up eventually. Once they get complacent, that's when you strike. They'll notice the item missing, won't worry about it, and by the time they realize "Hey it's been six months, what ever happened to ____" the trail is stone cold.
Let me guess, you're one of these people who labels life as unfair when bad shit happens to them, not realizing you deserved everything coming your way. I know plenty of that sort.
9:10 ADHD means they are not willfully ignoring them. It just happens. Not under control. ADHD also means you juggle enough inside your head that you can't talk coherently sometimes.
Yeah, the analogy I like is imagining non-adhd brains being people moving plates from table to table in a restaurant, and adhd brains being people spinning plates on sticks while in knee-high water trying to go from table to table-adhd thoughts have to move much more deliberately, you have to focus a lot more on walking through that water, and adhd thoughts are more easily derailed like spinning a plate on a stick is relative to holding a plate.
i do the 'thank you' thing out of habit- its very noticeable if im even slightly pissed or disappointed in someone- honestly can bite you in the butt cause ppl assume if youre not people pleasing and being polite its bitchy attitude instead of just tiredness or other life factors- lost my job and home cause i was considered rude and mean after a family member died- it took a lot of reaching out and hearing from the ppl i love that i wasnt a crazy angry person but just no longer too polite when things got real lol!! (could also be because i was a younger woman? i hate to say sexism exist...)
It's the sexism. Most people (mainly men) expect women to be compliant, agreeable, submissive. If you break that expectation, and assert your wish/need/disagreement in a situation, even if done very politely, they jump to "she is being unreasonable".
One trick to get more detailed and longer answers when interviewing someone and you can't come up with good follow up questions to the response you just got from what you asked is to look at the interviewee and don't talk for like a second and they will usually elaborate because it looks like you want to hear a longer answer from them. (unless what they add is "that's it that's what I think it's like" then they genuinely don't have anything more to elaborate with)
Pertaining to the car sales thing some of the BEST advice I have ever heard to take some of the pressure off of yourself at a dealership was this: "Remember, you do not HAVE to buy a car, the salesman HAS TO sell you a car." it really puts you in a more powerful position mentally, makes bad deals much easier to walk away from and executed correctly, can get you a damn great deal if you put some action behind it. When I bought my first new car and the dealership didn't have exactly what I wanted (they had the make and model, but not in the color I wanted), I told the salesman that I was going to browse other dealerships in the area to see if they had something with my specifications and I may be back later. Somehow he was able to magically get what I wanted from their warehouse brought to the dealership for $1000 under sticker, a discount they were only offering to military personnel and students, of which I am neither. Remember that quote above, they HAVE to sell you a car, you DO NOT have to buy one from them.
I don't know what it is about me, but people just seem to automatically trust me. It's a good thing I'm not the type of person to exploit others. One time I got my younger sister released from juvy and into my custody when I was 17 and didn't have an ID to show them. I guess if you act confident enough, people just don't ask questions.
That happens to me too!!! I have had so many folks spill their guts to me about really personal stuff even though I was just talking to them normally. Idk what is up with that
Probably because you're a very honest person and don't care about superficial things. Most people put up filters and have 'doll house' lives, but when around people who don't do that, they'll lighten up.
Same, but it doesn't lead to them being opem to asking me for things, just makes them think I am harmless. Which I am, but it makes it hard to make myself useful for them if they don't ask for stuff.
About the "hitting them when they least expect it": There was a murder in a small town in Germany and the prime suspect at one point was interrogated for 11 hours on end. The suspect still maintained his innocence. After that, the investigator said "allright, you can go. You know what, lets get some coffee". At the vending machine, the Office casually asked " Just out of curiosity, how did you get in? Window or door?" And the suspect blurted out "the window".... game over. Thst Shows me that you can Grill people and they will remain strong because they expect it. But if you create a moment where they let their guard down, you have them by their balls
Well, after talking to a lot of people, I found a rather simple technic that makes me easily likeable to someone. It's complimenting them. I am a biggest compliment giver and compliments make people feel better and nicer about themselves. That's how they start opening up to me. This could be used as a manipulation technique if you're not sincere with your compliments, though. So, be careful. Another thing is when you want people to trust you, you can make yourself seem like less knowledgeable than they are about something. This gives them an immediate ego boost and they don't see you as a threat.
Sometimes people say or do things "in general" that are actually meant to get a reaction from you specifically. Like sniping a reaction out of you from afar. It's very subtle and some people can do it without looking at you. Like uttering a comment in a group conversation that is 100% crafted to enrage you, even though their comment sounds general or seemingly not directed toward you. It's happened to me in a band and a workplace setting. Hoping to open some eyes to this one.
@rootfish2671 it's the only way to show your siblings how toxic it is. They become the scapegoat and they begin to have a different view of the person.
My favorite is getting what I want by telling my narcissistic ex-boss that something she told someone else "no" to was her idea. "Hey so I feel like this *insert efficient change* would be something you'd do because you've been really making some awesome changes around this lately." Spoiler, she was fucking stupid, and the only reason the 2 departments I had my fingers in were even able to survive were because of these suggestions. She fired the first person who asked to put these changes forwards fyi cause she didn't like his girlfriend.
Over confirming and diagnosing ADHD, Autism and both co-existing (AuHD/AuDHD) for that matter, is NOT and has not actually been “a thing”. It’s actually under-diagnosing and mis-diagnosing, as in wrongly diagnosing someone as not having one or either or diagnosing someone with everything but either, that’s been and continues to be “a thing”.
Ah yes, that be rude then appologize thing. I was hit with that once, and have seen through it ever since. It's hilarious to watch psycopaths when it fails. They suddenly become genuinely interested in you because now you're a puzzle. It's a shame I don't give enough of a shit about rude jerks to mess with them.
@@11th_defender51I myself was asked if I was human when that failed on me. I was a bit of a robot back then, an undiagnosed autistic kid with no therapy XD
I remember one time at an internet service where my dad was pissed as fuck. As a person who had his own internet using a router for awhile and had to change due to his devices, it was understandable when he was pissed at the slow and terrible service we were getting. So my dad went to customer service and YELLED. Awfully bad. Even my mom was shocked at how skilled he was at getting his way while yelling as a person who worked at customer service for the government. Lets say that stuff was done asap. My mom told us to never yell at the people who work at customer service but somehow my dad manages to make his yelling the fastest way to work a problem out.
@@nelonwa7754 You try and convince yourself your lie is the actual truth. Like you ate the pie, but you continuously tell yourself you didn't so when you say you didn't it feels genuine. It's a very effective tactic and usually becomes one's second nature if used too much
The advice around 13 minutes is very solid. It sounds like it came straight out of the book Atomic Habits. The key is to build the habit of *showing up* first. Commit to 1-2 minutes. Commit to literally just putting on your gym clothes and going to the gym. You dont have to do anything you cant make yourself do, except SHOW UP. Once you've shown up, your odds of following through increase dramatically, but dont beat yourself up if you dont follow through. You're not building the actual habit itself yet, you're just building the habit of starting the habit. If you do this every day, you sit down with your instrument and mess around for a minute or two, you pick up that book and read a page or two, you put on your gym clothes and go to the gym and come back home - you WILL start doing the thing. 1 minute becomes 5, becomes 10, etc. 1 page becomes 3, then 5, then a chapter. Just do the bare minimum of showing up, and soon the rest will follow.
My mom went to college in the 60s and her professor actually got the class to team up on a guy as a power-of-suggestion demonstration. Every time one of the class members saw him, they commented on how he looked pale/sick/etc. She said not only did he go home early, he *looked* sick by the time he did. Brains play for keeps!
You have to be careful about the "Beat up the bully" one. The response to a bully depends on what is triggering the bullying: if he is bullying you to show off to his friends, and you kick his ass, he's going to get embarrased and lose his friends' respect, and will be desperate to get it back. He might come back and hit you harder to reclaim his status.
Beating up the bully is weird, let me tell you. I moved between different States and had several people bully me, for being an outsider with no long term friends makes you such a target. One day I had enough, put the book down and let my pacifistic side rest for a little bit. It was what happened afterwards that stunned me, for I was never bullied again. Moved between States a few times since that fight, so it was different groups of kids, but never had an issue with bullies after that. Just knowing you can stand up for yourself seems to send out some sort of signal, telling most bullies not to try it.
Experienced this firsthand walking to work. People kept telling me how dangerous it was and the hoped i was safe and to keep a knife with me while walking. I had developed a much faster walking pace and general resting bitch face when walking, even scared off a would be mugger by staring him straight in the eyes, phone in hand as he passed across the street
I also walk so fast that people often have to jog to keep up with me (I like to walk 12 km every two days), so I am also resistant to pickpockets. The only times I've been robbed was while sitting down in a park and coming out of the metro
Gaslighting relies on a psychology trick: you are more likely to believe something if you hear it repeatedly. This works both negatively and positively, and will work over time, even if you are the person saying it to yourself. If you speak about yourself positively, you start to believe it. If you speak negatively, you start to believe it. But you can always switch to starting to speak positively. You can choose to be kind to yourself.
14:20 If someone does this to me, like shush me or call me out, I’ll instantly loose respect and look down on them because clearly they see me as someone below them too. That person will not be cool or charismatic or intimidating, it’ll be someone obnoxious that I’ll interrupt or talk over on purpose in the future
stories like these just make me more aware on what might happen to me so no one is able to manipulate me or trick me in doing stuff i dont want to do and im also able to apply them irl
I do the thanking thing and alter an argument slightly thing all the time, naturally. I'm not trying to he shady or slick. I'm just a nice person, and have been abused a lot in my life. Little gestures mean a lot to me, and I'm overly polite sometimes. It leads to interesting encounters admittedly. But I always just thought people were weird. I'll be exceedingly polite. People will disrespect me. I withdraw completely, rather than retaliate. More often than not they apologize and work doubly hard to gain my approval back. As for the argument thing, I naturally noticed people are more agreeable if you approach them with something they already believe. Breaking down and using their own logic in various tweaks or scenarios was just a way to help them see how they are using double standards, or unconcious bias in their decision making, I figured.
Pavlovian conditioning also works sometimes. If say you want to condition someone, you figure out what they're favourite candy is, and give them one whenever you see them, and eventually they'll be happy to see you without even getting candy
I am one of the very few who really do not want any friends. So in order to keep everyone at a distance with ease here are my tips. Tell people very weird things that you do, even if you don't do them. ("I only wash my hair once a month", "I sleep with nothing but gloves on") When people ask you a question, give them two answers. The first answer being completely incomprehensible, the second one the appropriate answer. This always puts everyone off. Stare at people very very long. I will stare at you in the eyes for 3 minutes straight until you look away. Don't talk to anyone ever. When you don't talk, and you're also the weird guy, people talk to you less. I am very fortunate and have many behaviors that are not normal, so being extra weird just comes naturally. Don't want anyone, don't want to be around anyone, don't want to talk to anyone, I'm already stuck on this planet with all of you, and I can't even get away.
I set my clocks an hour and 11 minutes ahead. This is so I can trick myself into thinking I have way less time to do something then I actually do and then realize I either got an hour, ten minutes or even just a single minute to spare. Even if you understand the trick big number on clock makes you wanna get started, regardless of whether you know the actual time or not.
When doing projects, a very smart way to improve your outcome was to take attention away from the weaker parts of your work and redirect it to stronger parts. You can do a "callout", which is overstepping the project bounds and mentioning expert topics (or even calling out intrinsic issues with the project), or "feign", where you plant something that looks obviously wrong in the first place, but you have very good arguments to back it up. You practically taunt the evaluating person into digging deeper into what you want them to dig at, while making them less likely to pay attention to other issues. This is especially useful if one part got much more attention from you than the others, or group projects where some members fell behind. You need good knowledge (usually beyond whatever the topic of the work was) to be able to back your taunt up, though. If you can't, it will backfire.
4:23 yeah, the mind is a very powerful thing. Train it well enough and you can trick yourself into being physically sick, or into not feeling pain from an injury.
Story 5 is operant conditioning with variable ratio reinforcement. It's used with dolphins and orcas and dogs and all sorts of animals. You start out getting a behavior with a "treat" (the thanks in this case). Once the target becomes accustomed to receiving the treat, you vary the reward: Sometimes thley receive it, sometimes they don't. (Eventually the goal is to do away with the reward). Gambling operates on variable ratio reinforcement.The target tries "harder" to earn that reward instead of saying WTF? Where is my COOKIE?!! Anyway, the target will more consistantly offer a behavior if the reinforcement is not received each time, but you need to start out by giving the reinforcement every time first.
Heres a thing i lowkey learned from a narcissistic friend i had to let go bc they did the literal opposite: 1. never assume youre the main character and that other people are just npcs whose life without you is empty. 2. Always expect people to talk to eachother, especially if they know the person you try to make look bad in front of them. Bc they will. Bc hence point 1, theyre not soulless npcs that only stare into the void until you decide to grace them with your presence.
Yeah no please don't make people look like jerks just because you don't want to have a conversation with them. Had this happen many times and often times I'm the one getting blamed. They always call it "starting an argument" when really i just asked a question or was talking about likes n stuff. Have been banned on discord from servers many times because of this. Just say "i don't want to talk about it" instead of "you're being an ass, fuck off."
There’s actually studies that show that if you ignore your bully, they escalate behavior a lot of times. I don’t suggest violence but DO NOT just accept the abuse. Get help! Report them! Stand up for yourself in safe, nonviolent ways. Bullies get off on the power imbalance. They’re more likely to leave you alone if you show them you’re not “weak” or “below” them.
Also a psychological fun fact I have is that self prophecy can turn into a neural program, I learned this the hard way when a video told me that due to brain regions being close together thinking about math made you pee easier when you knew you had to but your body said no for whatever reason, so I started to recite one specific number with like 8 digits and now even if I was just on the toilet when I think the number I instantly feel like I have to pee. Btw I dont know the exact way this works but I asume its neural pathways connecting and strengthening due to lots of use. If anyone knows more please tell me
0:55 personal experience with that is that they arent exactly lying when they say it depends on your goals. broad overview could be 100 for everything but 9/10 times most people only need a fraction to half. and hearing the whole price without getting into the details and narrowing it can, and does, shut people down instantly even if they ultimatley end up paying less then the whole amount.
Lol, whenever I wanted to get out of school as a kid, I'd basically just lay in bed focusing on feeling ill... 9/10 times it worked, and I legitimately started feeling nauseous. Taught me to be careful what I think and way about myself, even in jest
The last thing you said about adhd being overdiagnosed rings very true I think. A lot of symptoms of adhd I think are part of a perfect normal human experience. I feel like people excuse some of the things they aren't good at by telling people they have adhd, regardless of wether they actually do. Social media like tiktok and twitter makes the symptoms also more and more prevalent, so I think we should stop pasting diagnosis on people basically laying the problem with them, and instead include systemic solutions to help people that are for example more distractible. Make getting help with certain things easier to access.
In one college semester I made my roommate think he had a clinical condition. He had really long hair and I was tired of it getting stuck in the drain so I kept putting the ball of hair in a bag and telling him to clean it up. It got to the point I would wait a couple weeks and then show him a whole bag full of hair, somehow he thought it all came out in one shower and I let him, kept it up a few weeks and we had hair supplements getting delivered weekly, kept it up a couple months and he had monthly checkups and prescriptions for it. His hair was never falling out, he just refused to clean the shower. To this day never cleaned the shower…and still thinks he’s balding at 24, may be true but not at that rate.
Story 16 is actually accurate, bullies aim at the weak to feel strong, if you're suddenly not weak, they get scared or start respecting you, my mom is a teacher and had a very chubby and super nice student who was relentlessly bullied and beaten up, after almost a year of nothing working to stop the bullies my mom just said: look at your size and look at theirs, you're stronger than them, didn't directly told him to beat them but made it clear, just one beating and they never bullied him again, when I was a kid, some random seniors at school started calling me the b word and pushing me for weeks, at one point I exploded got a rope and started running after them trying to hit them with the rope, we all got called to the principal's office but made up there and actually became friendly after that lol
the one with the “not so random numbers” is confirmed by me rn! I got some random poker cards and told my dad for him to choose a number between 1 and 10, obviously, he choosed 3. on the most used numbers, I put low-valued cards, and in not very used numbers I put high-valued cards, so he lost to my mom who said 10😅
For ADHD, at least for minors, in order to get a diagnosis, the parents and at least two teachers need to fill out a questionnaire about symptoms. So, there's less chance of misdiagnosis if the client is faking it.
Bud, just wanted to say I listen to these at work; and with the screen off, it doesn’t waste battery and entertainment is on deck!! And some of the stories are just crazy, Reddit delivers lol. Keep it up.
2:26 Wait... I already thank people for literally everything they do for me, so you're telling me I just have to stop thanking them and they'll do stuff for me more often? Wow...
I feel like story 6 would only be considered unethical if the participants who could be negatively affected by it also lacked the willpower to NOT be negatively affected Like, if the girl was asked by a few people if she felt okay because she doesn't look very good, but instead reacted with "This is weird, but I feel fine, so whatever," then nobody would've considered it unethical But because she lacked the willpower not to give in to suggestion and she let the placebo work on her, it was suddenly unethical
I do the thanking stuff by accident. I’m a really nice person who will genuinely do these little things for people… but sometimes I’m also just really bad at situational awareness and will accidentally make a dick move
The friendliness one is true. I do that, I sometimes joke I have the talent to 'tell people to fuck off nicely'. In reality, when patients are volatile or angry or just rude, do not engage. Staying calm and positive and friendly usually makes them do the same and they end up feeling heard and satisfied. I guess people pick up on the energy you are giving and they realize there is no need for aggression. I once had a patient's son threaten me with cops and TV crews and what not because I would not admit his very sick (very much not a neurological patient) father to neurology ward. Even tho he was very aggressive, I stayed calm, firm and kept telling him 'It is your right to call whoever you feel you need to call', while explaining his father's condition. Took a while but he left peacefully and I never heard from him again.
You can only remember something once. Every memory after that is fitting the context of why you remembered to the memory itself- they all change. It's not just as children. This is why witnesses don't have much weight in Court without multiple People agreeing on the same thing. Trust nothing, when you remember something there's always a reason why, that reason slightly reshapes the memory- over time it can change to something unrecognizable. Lie detectors are also not usable in Court for the same reason- some believe they're telling the truth when they aren't, some just don't care enough to be worried (me). Both are considered circumstantial- helpful as a supplement but can't be used directly to prove anything.
Here's one that'll absolutely back fire if you use it. If you do something that other people don't like (like slacking off at work), and they confront you about it, do the following to ensure they will never confront you again. Don't say anything, keep a blank expression, hold eye contact and most importantly, don't blink. When they stop talking, simply ask "are you done?", wait for their response and then gesture for them to go about their business. If they back down, which people usually do, they won't confront you again. I've seen this happen a few times and it is fustratingly effective. The good part is if someone uses this trick against you, and you don't back down, they will almost always fold and listen to what you say from then on.
Oh that suggestion of them being ill can be turned up to ten: You don't ask them directly, you ask their friend... while they are in ear shot. Soon the group is talking about it, even when you are not there, and they are mean girls.
I’ve been working in customer services for 2 years now and I’ve learned how to easily deal with ridiculous/unimportant/b**chy complaints form the grouchy customers. Simply have them explain to you why this is an issue and why they’re being a jerk about it. I’m not saying challenge what they’re saying what I mean is to almost interview and ask for specifics about the issue, learn the specifics and why it’s affecting them so much for this small thing. Most likely they will unintentionally explain to themselves/realize why they are being a jerk and why this is not really an issue or not worth making a big deal out of it and they just give up. It might not a very willing “give up” and may result in a scoff and a snippy “ugh never mind” but it will stop them as they subconsciously realize “This is not worth it” or “I’m being excessive.” Please note that this most likely WILL NOT work on your straight-up-just-plain-crazy customers…
The reason good companies hide prices is so that they can qualify potential clients/customers. If someone's first worry is price and not efficacy, there is something wrong with their decision-making strategy.
So Most People Don't Like Me, But I Have This Odd Charm Were I Can Seemingly Easily Become Their "Friend" And Get Them To Spill Their Most Kept And Darkest Secrets.
The customer service one. Boy. It works even with Karens, lol. Every time I have one screaming at me about how somethig was wrong with whatever, I always tell them "oh, thanks for bringing that to our attention. I'll make sure the message reaches the appropriate department so that your issue may be fixed as soon as possible" They get. So confused. They were screaming at me, why am I thanking them ? Usually they're satisfied with that bc they think they've contributed to the betterment of the company and won't even ask for a discount or a refund.
Over the top friendly is passive agressive and can piss people off more. Be actual, real friendly and also firm in not allowing boundaries to be crossed. Got multiple apologies just from keeping it real
Dark? Alright A while back, I learned anger isn’t a “single standing emotion”, instead only a mix of fear and sadness. For something common; lots of people have gotten mad over things they couldn’t control. I’m sure you have as well. People who are more frequent to that type of anger (or that scenario in general) experience more fear than sadness. And another example is when you’re being lectured by your parents and out of anger, you begin crying. That’s the sadness. Well under that logic (unless the person you’re speaking to is extremely violent), wouldn’t it be easy to break someone who’s angry? Just hit them in the points they’re weakest if you can decipher whether they’re scared or sad. If they’re crying mid conversation, there you have it. If they’re not, it’s more difficult to tell, but you can probably come to a conclusion based on body language, voice changes, or wording. If you’ve discovered what “type of anger” they have, you could just use it against them. If it’s sadness, you could just worsen it by degrading them until they crumble. Vice versa with fear; while staying on subject of the argument, you could mention the worst possible outcomes that could occur until they, too, collapse. No idea if this works (I don’t plan on trying it) but I feel like I could and it’s probably dark enough
10:52 well.. op wasn't WRONG when I was younger (idk, maybe around 8-9?) I would regularly have to attend my twin brother's football practices because my mom would be at work and my dad was a coach, and there was another sister of one of the players that would constantly make fun of me. At some point I complained to my dad about it, and he told me the next time she bothers me to fight her. I... did not want to do that, but some time later I had gotten enough of her and upon remembering what my dad said, I ended up shoving her away from me it may be important to note that I was quite taller and wider than her and oftentimes underestimated by own strength, so I shoved her harder than I meant to; I meant to just push her away, but I ended up shoving her hard enough to knock her down to her back, and then I walked away feeling bad because of it. Later that evening I was approached by my dad who had been told by the other girl's dad that I pushed her, and instead of getting onto me he just said I did good. She didn't bully me again after that. I ran into her years later briefly. She apologized for making fun of me back then, and I said I was sorry for shoving her. All water under the bridge.
"IF YOU WANT TO RESOLVE A FIGHT, BE VIOLENT" I used this trick as recently as yesterday, basically if someone is fighting or quarrelling, you gotta be more aggressive, violent and loud than them. So basically yesterday two of my classmates were fighting over something very trivial and i didnt want to see them beat each other up, so i asked them resolve it in a civilized manner and talk it out but they started throwing hands again right in front of me. Tbh i felt offended cuz they didnt do what they accepted to do and i started pushing both of them apart from each other and shouted at them louder than they ever did. Lol i made such a scene yesterday. This was all in the college washroom. And remember immediately after they stopped fighting i returned back to normal. If you go crazy and mad then there's no use in using this technique. ✌️🙃
The lentil one: back in the dark ages through medieval times it was said to protect yourself from a vampire, throw a handful of rice, dried peas or beans at his feet. He'll be so occupied counting you have a chance to get away. Who knew medieval vampires were OCD?
Story 23, I mean, got recently some ''therapy" and it's... hard to be honest. After searching/seeing some things about mental illness, and just... not really getting hold of yourself, it's just easier to fake it a bit, and get confirmation that yes, there is something wrong and it has a name, than just... dunno, come out empty-handed? Like, depending on day, I get "nah, I don't have any ADHD or something, just need to work about my motivation to do things" or "Maybe I do have something, it does look like on those reels, it would explain many things" (and I even don't want the diagnosis like, the paper, because it won't change a thing in my life, and no way I will eat another stupid pills, so why would I even need a diagnosis in the first place XD)
I accidantaly did the manipulation in story 5 to some friends a few years ago but beacause of some reason I just stopped and the cold turkey made them normal again. After realising that I felt bad but then forgot and now I feel bad again.
15:56 This is actually due to the fact that your brain essentially re-remembers a memory every time you remember it. Therefore, it can get slowly warped over time, forgetting details and potentially even believing your own lies. I’ve done this to myself a lot, and now there are a lot of stories I just don’t tell anymore because I’ve lied about tiny little things about them so many times that certain details are nigh impossible to remember for sure.
I learnt the small praise trick when I was a supervisor at a factory I worked in, a friend who studied psychology told me about so I started praising work mates praise for the most menial tasks and without praise for larger tasks so that they would do them to the best of their abilities, it's absolutely terrifying how far they would go to be praised and I learnt very quickly to use it with the utmost respect
Some warehouse environments try this. Amazon has been a big one for me. The problem is, praise tactics are a trauma point for some people, myself included, so any time praise is doled out, meaningful or meaningless, I razor focus on it and shut down.
@@twisvis5531 meaningless praise will quickly null and void the praise, you have to understand each person and engage them, you have to be genuine, i always tried to use for motivation not manipulation
this works only on people who are starved off affection and are quite lonely and are people pleasers due to trauma for example. It doesn't work on healthy individuals
@@Kokoseyou would be very surprised, even the most mentally strong person seeks validation.
I've learned to not take praise seriously. Since I was a kid, I saw a lot of the time it has to do with the other person's mood, not what you've done.
I love that that one poster was so wholesome that their idea of a "dark psychology trick" was being so nice to people that they would be nice to you back.
You poor sweet summer child, that is the evilist trick of all. I only wish I could have such an innocent outlook as yours.
That is evil. Someone will begin a great friendship with you, then take it away. You _will_ try to save the friendship. And it's only the beginning of the downward spiral.
@@Pabliski577they meant the one taking customer calls i think
@@lonewoof79My man, they're tricking you with trick #22: appear innocent and you'll appear non threatening.
@@lonewoof79they aren’t talking about themselves 😂
If you're in a crowded place like a party and let's say you need to get to the table on the other side of the room, just walk straight, don't look anywhere else but the table and people will naturally move away and create space for you to walk since they'll look at your eyes. This almost always works, everywhere, no matter my destination. It also helps me when I don't want to look at anyone and just want to avoid any form of interaction.
Dried lentils is the hero advice we need but don't deserve.
That Lentils part killed me!!! So good!!!
I don't get it. Lentils?? Why???
@@Khaleesi_Of_Kittens "They're valuable." *Disappears*
pocket lentils
If someone is throwing a temper tantrum, treat them like a child. Don't argue or try to reason with them, just act calm and let them tire themselves out with their tantrum.
I work in customer service and I can confirm this actually does work. You would be surprised how many adults are really just 40-something year-old children
@@craboo8668 my therapist gave this advice to me to my narcissistic mother when she threw a childish fit and it worked except that one time I talked down to her and said “Wow those are some big feelings! It’s ok to feel your feelings!”
I do it too but that's not too treat them like a child, it's because we sound give them space to let it out. Most of the time is about themselves
I've done this a fair bit with certain family members... always ends up with them scoffing at me and leaving the room.
Do you know if they're having an autistic meltdown? Not a "tantrum" for some people. So no. Do not do this.
the beating up a bully one tho, isnt it insane that "bullying" is so disregarded in school spaces when its straight up targeted harassment because "theyre kids" - but the second the child being mentally tormented by their harasser beats the damn shit out of their "bully" then we treat their actions as serious and condemnable, no blanketing of their actions "because theyre just a kid" even if it was in self defense
that is a really interesting phenomenom. it's almost like the bully gets a pass as the 'stronger' one and the bullied person just attracts criticism as the supposedly 'weaker' one
@nellie__ what you just described: I’ve heard about this happening a LOT. I’m a teacher, here’s what I know: some kids that have learning differences while at the same time having behavior problems & under-developed self-regulation are supposed to be with the other kids as much as possible. Those relatively rare kids act out & hurt others and that gets labeled as a symptom of their special conditions. Enough outbursts & hurting others will result in notations in the school psychologist’s office, and if the kid gets enough of those they’ll get their I.E.P. examined. A public school isn’t supposed to discriminate, and administrators are scared of getting sued. Parents COULD say: “Y’all aren’t accommodating my child’s special needs.” Many schools use RTI (response to intervention) so the student has to keep having problems while the school makes increasingly bigger interventions. A more regular kid who doesn’t have a special I.E.P. could eventually fight back after being bullied, after being pushed too far, but that kid’s “hands on somebody else” isn’t treated like a symptom the school must make accommodations for, it’s treated like a simple “that kid straight up punched so-and-so,” and since most schools have a zero-tolerance policy on physical fighting, that’s the kid that gets disciplinary action just for defending himself. Not everyone can just pick up and move to change school districts, but I promise you that there are some public schools where culture of the neighborhood looks down upon bullying and physically fighting. The successful popular kids see bullying as immature and fist-fighting as “low class.” The good social skills and empathy that we high school teachers can’t take credit for (because it was built up in the students’s younger years) keeps the peace. It’s one America, but in there there are TONS of different school districts and they can be so different you’d think they couldn’t possibly be using the same education laws. As different as Afghanistan and Amsterdam, our districts can be.
Actually I was bullied insanely in school. One day I was winning so the whole class jumped in (rough school). When I got called in the principal was really kind and high five me for holding my own for so long. It actually really helped me get through that place. It was SOOOO much better in high-school, which I wasn't expecting.
My mom actually beat my brothers bully hahaha
As a previous victim, I got kicked in the nuts every week. One time I snapped and allegedly stabbed his hand with safety scissors. I didn't get in trouble, heck, I kinda befriended everyone who hated me over the following years once I became more high-functioning with my autism. Maybe the school was apologizing for the teacher that made me bite an eraser but it worked out fine
Dude, lentils guy is just friends with like 57 vampires
The sunk cost fallacy goes beyond just actual money related stuff. Like people stay in relationships that they really should leave because otherwise they feel that they had wasted all that time….no sweetie the rest of your life will be wasted if you don’t get out
The first dried lentils trick is straight from folklore. Apparently vampires were compelled to stop and count/organize spilled seeds or grains when they saw them, allowing the person they’re chasing to escape.
Lords above i forgot about that, Dracula isn't so scary with that! "Im gonna feed on y----OOO! Lentils!' *suddenly turns into the count from Sesame Street*
@@KilerkRazorclaw Where do you think Sesame Street got it? 😉
makes me think of count Count from the muppets lol
so basically vampires are autistic
Isn't it weird putting dried lentils in someone's drink?
You can gaslight yourself into believing and doing pretty much everything if given enough time. And the personality you currently hold onto is extremely fragile and much more tied to your environment rather than yourself. Isolation will completely break down ones sense of self.
If you're able to, you should isolate yourself for that exact reason. Break free from the perception you have of yourself that was inflicted on you by others. Only then will you be free
@@lithuaniaball I did for a year. Its getting out of isolation thats hard
@@tommysalami420 you're not wrong brother, but I promise you it's because the world has become a hostile place for people who can stand alone. Fitting in here isn't healthy, but we're out there. Have faith we will find each other, and stand strong. The hard part is over already
How do you gaslight yourself? This seems very useful for gaining confidence
@@zero1188 Turn what you want to achieve into a habit. If you find yourself repeating negative self talk in your head try to stop that and focus on things you can do. They can even be incredibly simple like making a quick doodle in something like Microsoft paint.
I typically make mosaics to show myself I can still make artwork. But it is mainly repetition and habitual tiny steps to what you want to do. You got this I believe in you :D
That 'praise them and then don't praise them' also has a sinister reverse side:
Bully someone for a few interactions and then praise them once or twice....
For some reason, the target will take the praising from a perceived enemy as more sincere then a closest friend. It will make the target sit up at night, trying to figure out what they did to earn that praise, and in doing so... they start thinking on how they can do it again. Ultimately the same result, but sometimes you can't always start by thanking someone....
Always be weary of someone who suddenly and sharply changes their interactions.
This... i think this happened to me before.
I was about nine and sat in a group of four boys and one girl in class. I sat in the corner so only one of the boys were sitting beside me. The boy alway pinched my thigh and stepped on my foot, one time even telling me i got a wrong answer on a question when we were giving our homeworks to the teach only to take my book away after i erased the answer leaving it blank. Him and the rest of the boys would call me names. The girl in our group ignored everything that happened to me. This all would always happen during the beginning of the school day, their behaviour would change after lunchtime. We would go back to class and suddenly he would be nice, talked to me and was really polite. I never really thought to tell anyone about this. I was terrified of teachers, i was also scared of my parents and i wasn't close to my siblings at the time. I don't know if the teacher picked up on it or not. (Another story that probably isn't useful.) But she moved me into a different group. Things still weren't good but at least i wasn't being bothered.
Also, i know this may sound a lot like bullying. But i had a friend i opened up to about this, and they told me it was technically sexual assault. I want to comfirm if this it true.
@@aiffytham8611 I mean touching someone without consent (like him pinching your thigh) is sexual harrasment, so although I think he was only doing it to bully you, it kinda was more than that
@@Ashcatlover I don't think it is sexual assault, on contrary. They were 9 at that time. I don't think the boy had sexual intentions, and it's hard to call it sexual assault without such.
Isn't this called intermittent reinforcement. It's why people are addicted to gambling.
@@TheSoulCalledZuzia Trust me, at ages as young as 6-12 they can indeed SA you. Cocsa is a thing for a reason. Usually it's taken from their environment rather than personal urges but it's SA nonetheless
7:37 definitely a psychological trick and highly affective. I always "kill" with kindness. It serves multiple purposes but these two are the ones i've noticed the most:
1. They will get tripped up trying to be rude and eventually dig their own grave and are forced to either quit being rude or just stop interacting with me all together.
2. From outsiders perspective you will gain so much more respect by treating somebody being rude with kindness and the rude person will be seen in a negative light. This is really helpful in a lot of professions. As an artist it has propelled my career to a certain degree. I've noticed that super talented people that are rude, disrespectful and spiteful never get very far than those who are kind, helpful and respectful to everyone regardless of the situation. You gain so much from being kind to a rude person.
Also it's hilarious seeing their confused reaction as they try to start drama and not getting the reaction they expected lmao
Power of suggestion is how, in the height of the child sexual abuse scare of the eighties and nineties, they ended up with false reporting from young children. Because it’s not just the power of suggestion but also a child’s need to agree with the adult and please the grown up. They now have a very set format for asking young children about this sort of stuff.
What minute
9:10 I think that being told "sorry, I don't want to talk right now" would also trigger a negative reaction because the person would feel that their discussion wasn't important enough to be thoroughly considered and would probably develop a negative opinion of the other
If you make it clear that you will listen to them at a later point in time, once you actually can talk with them, that should help mitigate any negative reaction.
“Hey. I really care what you are saying, but I’m having a hard time right now (or) I’m having some issues right now and I can’t focus. I need a bit to get myself together. Let me be at my best for this conversation so I can give you my all.”
If possible attach a time like “10 minutes “
“Tomorrow” or say something like “I think I’d process it better if I could read it.”
Don’t make it about how they are being but what your brain needs, and if they can’t respect that then why should you respect them enough to hear them out?
This obviously doesn’t work for extremely serious situations.
*realising that I already sub-consciously use some of these tricks*
Learned this in elementary school. If a kid has a toy you want, start taking his other toys when he's not looking, hang onto them for a few days, then sneak them back. Eventually they just get used to the fact that they're prone to losing things, and stop worrying about it knowing it'll turn up eventually. Once they get complacent, that's when you strike. They'll notice the item missing, won't worry about it, and by the time they realize "Hey it's been six months, what ever happened to ____" the trail is stone cold.
Having memory problems, I always worry just how badly someone can gaslight me.
Won't work on all people though. Like me. Not bragging, I just have OCD and will not sleep until I find my shit.
@@tander101That'd be even better. You'd exhaust yourself from lack of sleep and be even easier to play.
@@adamb89you just went villain mode in 2 seconds flat
Let me guess, you're one of these people who labels life as unfair when bad shit happens to them, not realizing you deserved everything coming your way. I know plenty of that sort.
9:10 ADHD means they are not willfully ignoring them. It just happens. Not under control. ADHD also means you juggle enough inside your head that you can't talk coherently sometimes.
It can also just simply happen from disassociation. Which, fun fun. Is another symptom of ADHD.
Yeah, the analogy I like is imagining non-adhd brains being people moving plates from table to table in a restaurant, and adhd brains being people spinning plates on sticks while in knee-high water trying to go from table to table-adhd thoughts have to move much more deliberately, you have to focus a lot more on walking through that water, and adhd thoughts are more easily derailed like spinning a plate on a stick is relative to holding a plate.
ha the moment i TRY not to listen i end up hearing everything 😭
i do the 'thank you' thing out of habit- its very noticeable if im even slightly pissed or disappointed in someone- honestly can bite you in the butt cause ppl assume if youre not people pleasing and being polite its bitchy attitude instead of just tiredness or other life factors- lost my job and home cause i was considered rude and mean after a family member died- it took a lot of reaching out and hearing from the ppl i love that i wasnt a crazy angry person but just no longer too polite when things got real lol!! (could also be because i was a younger woman? i hate to say sexism exist...)
It's the sexism. Most people (mainly men) expect women to be compliant, agreeable, submissive. If you break that expectation, and assert your wish/need/disagreement in a situation, even if done very politely, they jump to "she is being unreasonable".
One trick to get more detailed and longer answers when interviewing someone and you can't come up with good follow up questions to the response you just got from what you asked is to look at the interviewee and don't talk for like a second and they will usually elaborate because it looks like you want to hear a longer answer from them. (unless what they add is "that's it that's what I think it's like" then they genuinely don't have anything more to elaborate with)
Not me actually being grateful for the tiniest things, and saying thank you that often, lol. 😅😬
Pertaining to the car sales thing some of the BEST advice I have ever heard to take some of the pressure off of yourself at a dealership was this: "Remember, you do not HAVE to buy a car, the salesman HAS TO sell you a car." it really puts you in a more powerful position mentally, makes bad deals much easier to walk away from and executed correctly, can get you a damn great deal if you put some action behind it. When I bought my first new car and the dealership didn't have exactly what I wanted (they had the make and model, but not in the color I wanted), I told the salesman that I was going to browse other dealerships in the area to see if they had something with my specifications and I may be back later. Somehow he was able to magically get what I wanted from their warehouse brought to the dealership for $1000 under sticker, a discount they were only offering to military personnel and students, of which I am neither.
Remember that quote above, they HAVE to sell you a car, you DO NOT have to buy one from them.
I don't know what it is about me, but people just seem to automatically trust me. It's a good thing I'm not the type of person to exploit others. One time I got my younger sister released from juvy and into my custody when I was 17 and didn't have an ID to show them. I guess if you act confident enough, people just don't ask questions.
That happens to me too!!! I have had so many folks spill their guts to me about really personal stuff even though I was just talking to them normally. Idk what is up with that
Probably because you're a very honest person and don't care about superficial things. Most people put up filters and have 'doll house' lives, but when around people who don't do that, they'll lighten up.
Same, but it doesn't lead to them being opem to asking me for things, just makes them think I am harmless. Which I am, but it makes it hard to make myself useful for them if they don't ask for stuff.
About the "hitting them when they least expect it":
There was a murder in a small town in Germany and the prime suspect at one point was interrogated for 11 hours on end. The suspect still maintained his innocence. After that, the investigator said "allright, you can go. You know what, lets get some coffee". At the vending machine, the Office casually asked " Just out of curiosity, how did you get in? Window or door?" And the suspect blurted out "the window".... game over. Thst Shows me that you can Grill people and they will remain strong because they expect it. But if you create a moment where they let their guard down, you have them by their balls
Well, after talking to a lot of people, I found a rather simple technic that makes me easily likeable to someone. It's complimenting them. I am a biggest compliment giver and compliments make people feel better and nicer about themselves. That's how they start opening up to me. This could be used as a manipulation technique if you're not sincere with your compliments, though. So, be careful.
Another thing is when you want people to trust you, you can make yourself seem like less knowledgeable than they are about something. This gives them an immediate ego boost and they don't see you as a threat.
Sometimes people say or do things "in general" that are actually meant to get a reaction from you specifically. Like sniping a reaction out of you from afar. It's very subtle and some people can do it without looking at you. Like uttering a comment in a group conversation that is 100% crafted to enrage you, even though their comment sounds general or seemingly not directed toward you. It's happened to me in a band and a workplace setting. Hoping to open some eyes to this one.
They're being passive aggressive, my mom is a master at that.
@@Pabliski577 I ghosted my mom and that whole side of the family because of their toxic BS and I was their designated scapegoat and black sheep.
Crazy. And probably unnecessary
@rootfish2671 it's the only way to show your siblings how toxic it is.
They become the scapegoat and they begin to have a different view of the person.
People like that are also hoping you take the bait, get mad, and look crazy
My favorite is getting what I want by telling my narcissistic ex-boss that something she told someone else "no" to was her idea. "Hey so I feel like this *insert efficient change* would be something you'd do because you've been really making some awesome changes around this lately." Spoiler, she was fucking stupid, and the only reason the 2 departments I had my fingers in were even able to survive were because of these suggestions. She fired the first person who asked to put these changes forwards fyi cause she didn't like his girlfriend.
Over confirming and diagnosing ADHD, Autism and both co-existing (AuHD/AuDHD) for that matter, is NOT and has not actually been “a thing”.
It’s actually under-diagnosing and mis-diagnosing, as in wrongly diagnosing someone as not having one or either or diagnosing someone with everything but either, that’s been and continues to be “a thing”.
Ah yes, that be rude then appologize thing. I was hit with that once, and have seen through it ever since. It's hilarious to watch psycopaths when it fails. They suddenly become genuinely interested in you because now you're a puzzle. It's a shame I don't give enough of a shit about rude jerks to mess with them.
How did you know they were manipulating you and weren't being fully sincere?
@@11th_defender51I myself was asked if I was human when that failed on me. I was a bit of a robot back then, an undiagnosed autistic kid with no therapy XD
I remember one time at an internet service where my dad was pissed as fuck. As a person who had his own internet using a router for awhile and had to change due to his devices, it was understandable when he was pissed at the slow and terrible service we were getting. So my dad went to customer service and YELLED. Awfully bad. Even my mom was shocked at how skilled he was at getting his way while yelling as a person who worked at customer service for the government. Lets say that stuff was done asap. My mom told us to never yell at the people who work at customer service but somehow my dad manages to make his yelling the fastest way to work a problem out.
I once passed a lie detector test by lying to myself- pretty funny, actually.
How?
@@nelonwa7754 You try and convince yourself your lie is the actual truth. Like you ate the pie, but you continuously tell yourself you didn't so when you say you didn't it feels genuine.
It's a very effective tactic and usually becomes one's second nature if used too much
The advice around 13 minutes is very solid. It sounds like it came straight out of the book Atomic Habits. The key is to build the habit of *showing up* first. Commit to 1-2 minutes. Commit to literally just putting on your gym clothes and going to the gym. You dont have to do anything you cant make yourself do, except SHOW UP. Once you've shown up, your odds of following through increase dramatically, but dont beat yourself up if you dont follow through. You're not building the actual habit itself yet, you're just building the habit of starting the habit. If you do this every day, you sit down with your instrument and mess around for a minute or two, you pick up that book and read a page or two, you put on your gym clothes and go to the gym and come back home - you WILL start doing the thing. 1 minute becomes 5, becomes 10, etc. 1 page becomes 3, then 5, then a chapter. Just do the bare minimum of showing up, and soon the rest will follow.
My mom went to college in the 60s and her professor actually got the class to team up on a guy as a power-of-suggestion demonstration. Every time one of the class members saw him, they commented on how he looked pale/sick/etc. She said not only did he go home early, he *looked* sick by the time he did. Brains play for keeps!
You have to be careful about the "Beat up the bully" one. The response to a bully depends on what is triggering the bullying: if he is bullying you to show off to his friends, and you kick his ass, he's going to get embarrased and lose his friends' respect, and will be desperate to get it back. He might come back and hit you harder to reclaim his status.
thats what knifes are for~
@@Dr_Doctor_Leefacts
Beating up the bully is weird, let me tell you.
I moved between different States and had several people bully me, for being an outsider with no long term friends makes you such a target. One day I had enough, put the book down and let my pacifistic side rest for a little bit. It was what happened afterwards that stunned me, for I was never bullied again. Moved between States a few times since that fight, so it was different groups of kids, but never had an issue with bullies after that.
Just knowing you can stand up for yourself seems to send out some sort of signal, telling most bullies not to try it.
Quiet confidence radiates and people's subconscious 100% picks up on it; you're no longer potential prey~
An eye for an eye makes the world blind, but taking out two eyes let's you keep one.
@@Fera-gr5mm This... This is actually great
Walk with your shoulders back and stare straight as if you’re walking somewhere and you won’t be stopped
Experienced this firsthand walking to work. People kept telling me how dangerous it was and the hoped i was safe and to keep a knife with me while walking. I had developed a much faster walking pace and general resting bitch face when walking, even scared off a would be mugger by staring him straight in the eyes, phone in hand as he passed across the street
I also walk so fast that people often have to jog to keep up with me (I like to walk 12 km every two days), so I am also resistant to pickpockets. The only times I've been robbed was while sitting down in a park and coming out of the metro
Gaslighting relies on a psychology trick: you are more likely to believe something if you hear it repeatedly.
This works both negatively and positively, and will work over time, even if you are the person saying it to yourself. If you speak about yourself positively, you start to believe it. If you speak negatively, you start to believe it. But you can always switch to starting to speak positively. You can choose to be kind to yourself.
Yes because you are altering the neural pathways in your brain that's why negative self talk is destructive and positive self talk is beneficial
@@rootfish2671 what are neural pathways
So if i speak positive and negatively, it Will origin doubtness? Meaning that negative thinking or speaking disables people
14:20 If someone does this to me, like shush me or call me out, I’ll instantly loose respect and look down on them because clearly they see me as someone below them too. That person will not be cool or charismatic or intimidating, it’ll be someone obnoxious that I’ll interrupt or talk over on purpose in the future
If you want info from someone, keep silent after they stop talking. They'll keep talking to fill in the silence, and bam, info
😮
so grateful for the dried lentil tips, idk what i would do without this knowldge
stories like these just make me more aware on what might happen to me so no one is able to manipulate me or trick me in doing stuff i dont want to do and im also able to apply them irl
I do the thanking thing and alter an argument slightly thing all the time, naturally.
I'm not trying to he shady or slick. I'm just a nice person, and have been abused a lot in my life. Little gestures mean a lot to me, and I'm overly polite sometimes.
It leads to interesting encounters admittedly. But I always just thought people were weird. I'll be exceedingly polite. People will disrespect me. I withdraw completely, rather than retaliate. More often than not they apologize and work doubly hard to gain my approval back.
As for the argument thing, I naturally noticed people are more agreeable if you approach them with something they already believe. Breaking down and using their own logic in various tweaks or scenarios was just a way to help them see how they are using double standards, or unconcious bias in their decision making, I figured.
Pavlovian conditioning also works sometimes.
If say you want to condition someone, you figure out what they're favourite candy is, and give them one whenever you see them, and eventually they'll be happy to see you without even getting candy
I am one of the very few who really do not want any friends. So in order to keep everyone at a distance with ease here are my tips.
Tell people very weird things that you do, even if you don't do them. ("I only wash my hair once a month", "I sleep with nothing but gloves on")
When people ask you a question, give them two answers. The first answer being completely incomprehensible, the second one the appropriate answer. This always puts everyone off.
Stare at people very very long. I will stare at you in the eyes for 3 minutes straight until you look away.
Don't talk to anyone ever. When you don't talk, and you're also the weird guy, people talk to you less.
I am very fortunate and have many behaviors that are not normal, so being extra weird just comes naturally.
Don't want anyone, don't want to be around anyone, don't want to talk to anyone, I'm already stuck on this planet with all of you, and I can't even get away.
I set my clocks an hour and 11 minutes ahead. This is so I can trick myself into thinking I have way less time to do something then I actually do and then realize I either got an hour, ten minutes or even just a single minute to spare. Even if you understand the trick big number on clock makes you wanna get started, regardless of whether you know the actual time or not.
When doing projects, a very smart way to improve your outcome was to take attention away from the weaker parts of your work and redirect it to stronger parts. You can do a "callout", which is overstepping the project bounds and mentioning expert topics (or even calling out intrinsic issues with the project), or "feign", where you plant something that looks obviously wrong in the first place, but you have very good arguments to back it up. You practically taunt the evaluating person into digging deeper into what you want them to dig at, while making them less likely to pay attention to other issues. This is especially useful if one part got much more attention from you than the others, or group projects where some members fell behind.
You need good knowledge (usually beyond whatever the topic of the work was) to be able to back your taunt up, though. If you can't, it will backfire.
Reaction to Story 6:
The worst part is, you can induce such suggestion in yourself. I've seen it countless times. Looks like paranoia.
Best trick:”I’m not mad I’m just disappointed” works (almost) every time.
4:23 yeah, the mind is a very powerful thing. Train it well enough and you can trick yourself into being physically sick, or into not feeling pain from an injury.
Story 5 is operant conditioning with variable ratio reinforcement. It's used with dolphins and orcas and dogs and all sorts of animals. You start out getting a behavior with a "treat" (the thanks in this case). Once the target becomes accustomed to receiving the treat, you vary the reward: Sometimes thley receive it, sometimes they don't. (Eventually the goal is to do away with the reward). Gambling operates on variable ratio reinforcement.The target tries "harder" to earn that reward instead of saying WTF? Where is my COOKIE?!! Anyway, the target will more consistantly offer a behavior if the reinforcement is not received each time, but you need to start out by giving the reinforcement every time first.
Might try this one on my halfwit neighbour.
Heres a thing i lowkey learned from a narcissistic friend i had to let go bc they did the literal opposite:
1. never assume youre the main character and that other people are just npcs whose life without you is empty.
2. Always expect people to talk to eachother, especially if they know the person you try to make look bad in front of them. Bc they will. Bc hence point 1, theyre not soulless npcs that only stare into the void until you decide to grace them with your presence.
Yeah no please don't make people look like jerks just because you don't want to have a conversation with them. Had this happen many times and often times I'm the one getting blamed. They always call it "starting an argument" when really i just asked a question or was talking about likes n stuff. Have been banned on discord from servers many times because of this. Just say "i don't want to talk about it" instead of "you're being an ass, fuck off."
bro how does this not already have so many views, like im so shocked good work man
Fr I just recently subbed to this channel and the video quality is amazing they deserve way more than 15k subscribers
There’s actually studies that show that if you ignore your bully, they escalate behavior a lot of times. I don’t suggest violence but DO NOT just accept the abuse. Get help! Report them! Stand up for yourself in safe, nonviolent ways. Bullies get off on the power imbalance. They’re more likely to leave you alone if you show them you’re not “weak” or “below” them.
Folks, please share your videos of your experiments with dried lentils afterwards! 😂
"I said... Good Day Sir!"
Strides out of the channel!
Also a psychological fun fact I have is that self prophecy can turn into a neural program, I learned this the hard way when a video told me that due to brain regions being close together thinking about math made you pee easier when you knew you had to but your body said no for whatever reason, so I started to recite one specific number with like 8 digits and now even if I was just on the toilet when I think the number I instantly feel like I have to pee. Btw I dont know the exact way this works but I asume its neural pathways connecting and strengthening due to lots of use. If anyone knows more please tell me
is this why i have the overwhelming urge to pee every time i walk into my kitchen
Link to the video?
Haha you basically conditioned yourself to pee when exposed to that 8-digit number.
@@milkycloud.I wanna be Smart whenever i see a Desk/Paper/Book/Text
0:55 personal experience with that is that they arent exactly lying when they say it depends on your goals. broad overview could be 100 for everything but 9/10 times most people only need a fraction to half. and hearing the whole price without getting into the details and narrowing it can, and does, shut people down instantly even if they ultimatley end up paying less then the whole amount.
the forgetting the story bc convincing urself that the lie is true is textbook gaslighting 😭
I feel like that minecraft parkour you put in the background is also a trick but I can't put my finger on it
Lol, whenever I wanted to get out of school as a kid, I'd basically just lay in bed focusing on feeling ill... 9/10 times it worked, and I legitimately started feeling nauseous. Taught me to be careful what I think and way about myself, even in jest
The last thing you said about adhd being overdiagnosed rings very true I think. A lot of symptoms of adhd I think are part of a perfect normal human experience. I feel like people excuse some of the things they aren't good at by telling people they have adhd, regardless of wether they actually do.
Social media like tiktok and twitter makes the symptoms also more and more prevalent, so I think we should stop pasting diagnosis on people basically laying the problem with them, and instead include systemic solutions to help people that are for example more distractible. Make getting help with certain things easier to access.
9:14 so true, usually I just go on my mind and think about stuff I want to do the future and then I forget what the person the same
In one college semester I made my roommate think he had a clinical condition. He had really long hair and I was tired of it getting stuck in the drain so I kept putting the ball of hair in a bag and telling him to clean it up. It got to the point I would wait a couple weeks and then show him a whole bag full of hair, somehow he thought it all came out in one shower and I let him, kept it up a few weeks and we had hair supplements getting delivered weekly, kept it up a couple months and he had monthly checkups and prescriptions for it. His hair was never falling out, he just refused to clean the shower. To this day never cleaned the shower…and still thinks he’s balding at 24, may be true but not at that rate.
excpected maniplation, got lentils!
Story 16 is actually accurate, bullies aim at the weak to feel strong, if you're suddenly not weak, they get scared or start respecting you, my mom is a teacher and had a very chubby and super nice student who was relentlessly bullied and beaten up, after almost a year of nothing working to stop the bullies my mom just said: look at your size and look at theirs, you're stronger than them, didn't directly told him to beat them but made it clear, just one beating and they never bullied him again, when I was a kid, some random seniors at school started calling me the b word and pushing me for weeks, at one point I exploded got a rope and started running after them trying to hit them with the rope, we all got called to the principal's office but made up there and actually became friendly after that lol
Who else is watching to make sure they don’t get duped ✨
the one with the “not so random numbers” is confirmed by me rn! I got some random poker cards and told my dad for him to choose a number between 1 and 10, obviously, he choosed 3. on the most used numbers, I put low-valued cards, and in not very used numbers I put high-valued cards, so he lost to my mom who said 10😅
For ADHD, at least for minors, in order to get a diagnosis, the parents and at least two teachers need to fill out a questionnaire about symptoms. So, there's less chance of misdiagnosis if the client is faking it.
Bud, just wanted to say I listen to these at work; and with the screen off, it doesn’t waste battery and entertainment is on deck!! And some of the stories are just crazy, Reddit delivers lol. Keep it up.
The lentil guy is hilarious.
2:26
Wait... I already thank people for literally everything they do for me, so you're telling me I just have to stop thanking them and they'll do stuff for me more often? Wow...
I feel like story 6 would only be considered unethical if the participants who could be negatively affected by it also lacked the willpower to NOT be negatively affected
Like, if the girl was asked by a few people if she felt okay because she doesn't look very good, but instead reacted with "This is weird, but I feel fine, so whatever," then nobody would've considered it unethical
But because she lacked the willpower not to give in to suggestion and she let the placebo work on her, it was suddenly unethical
I do the thanking stuff by accident. I’m a really nice person who will genuinely do these little things for people… but sometimes I’m also just really bad at situational awareness and will accidentally make a dick move
Those minecraft parkours are so god damn distracting XD
The dried lentils section was truly riveting
16:44 they forgot how reasonable humans do not confess to something they did not do
The dried lentils one is such a cleverly placed brick joke
The friendliness one is true. I do that, I sometimes joke I have the talent to 'tell people to fuck off nicely'. In reality, when patients are volatile or angry or just rude, do not engage. Staying calm and positive and friendly usually makes them do the same and they end up feeling heard and satisfied. I guess people pick up on the energy you are giving and they realize there is no need for aggression. I once had a patient's son threaten me with cops and TV crews and what not because I would not admit his very sick (very much not a neurological patient) father to neurology ward. Even tho he was very aggressive, I stayed calm, firm and kept telling him 'It is your right to call whoever you feel you need to call', while explaining his father's condition. Took a while but he left peacefully and I never heard from him again.
can you imagine hanging out with someone and the whole time they're just conduction a psychological experiment on you?
You can only remember something once. Every memory after that is fitting the context of why you remembered to the memory itself- they all change. It's not just as children. This is why witnesses don't have much weight in Court without multiple People agreeing on the same thing. Trust nothing, when you remember something there's always a reason why, that reason slightly reshapes the memory- over time it can change to something unrecognizable. Lie detectors are also not usable in Court for the same reason- some believe they're telling the truth when they aren't, some just don't care enough to be worried (me). Both are considered circumstantial- helpful as a supplement but can't be used directly to prove anything.
10:52 and then they kick you ouf of the school because this world is ridiculous
Here's one that'll absolutely back fire if you use it.
If you do something that other people don't like (like slacking off at work), and they confront you about it, do the following to ensure they will never confront you again.
Don't say anything, keep a blank expression, hold eye contact and most importantly, don't blink. When they stop talking, simply ask "are you done?", wait for their response and then gesture for them to go about their business.
If they back down, which people usually do, they won't confront you again.
I've seen this happen a few times and it is fustratingly effective. The good part is if someone uses this trick against you, and you don't back down, they will almost always fold and listen to what you say from then on.
Oh that suggestion of them being ill can be turned up to ten:
You don't ask them directly, you ask their friend... while they are in ear shot.
Soon the group is talking about it, even when you are not there, and they are mean girls.
Story 5 that doesn’t work on me my autistic ass will pick up on the change then be ether confused or be like no I didn’t agree to that
Are you acoustic?
@@Ambatukam-gy2jb he just said he is lol
When you think about it, it’s rather fortunate that there’s no heartbeat equivalent to the manually breathing trick.
I’ve been working in customer services for 2 years now and I’ve learned how to easily deal with ridiculous/unimportant/b**chy complaints form the grouchy customers. Simply have them explain to you why this is an issue and why they’re being a jerk about it. I’m not saying challenge what they’re saying what I mean is to almost interview and ask for specifics about the issue, learn the specifics and why it’s affecting them so much for this small thing. Most likely they will unintentionally explain to themselves/realize why they are being a jerk and why this is not really an issue or not worth making a big deal out of it and they just give up. It might not a very willing “give up” and may result in a scoff and a snippy “ugh never mind” but it will stop them as they subconsciously realize “This is not worth it” or “I’m being excessive.” Please note that this most likely WILL NOT work on your straight-up-just-plain-crazy customers…
The reason good companies hide prices is so that they can qualify potential clients/customers. If someone's first worry is price and not efficacy, there is something wrong with their decision-making strategy.
So Most People Don't Like Me, But I Have This Odd Charm Were I Can Seemingly Easily Become Their "Friend" And Get Them To Spill Their Most Kept And Darkest Secrets.
The customer service one. Boy. It works even with Karens, lol. Every time I have one screaming at me about how somethig was wrong with whatever, I always tell them "oh, thanks for bringing that to our attention. I'll make sure the message reaches the appropriate department so that your issue may be fixed as soon as possible"
They get. So confused. They were screaming at me, why am I thanking them ? Usually they're satisfied with that bc they think they've contributed to the betterment of the company and won't even ask for a discount or a refund.
Over the top friendly is passive agressive and can piss people off more. Be actual, real friendly and also firm in not allowing boundaries to be crossed. Got multiple apologies just from keeping it real
Dark? Alright
A while back, I learned anger isn’t a “single standing emotion”, instead only a mix of fear and sadness.
For something common; lots of people have gotten mad over things they couldn’t control. I’m sure you have as well. People who are more frequent to that type of anger (or that scenario in general) experience more fear than sadness.
And another example is when you’re being lectured by your parents and out of anger, you begin crying. That’s the sadness.
Well under that logic (unless the person you’re speaking to is extremely violent), wouldn’t it be easy to break someone who’s angry? Just hit them in the points they’re weakest if you can decipher whether they’re scared or sad. If they’re crying mid conversation, there you have it. If they’re not, it’s more difficult to tell, but you can probably come to a conclusion based on body language, voice changes, or wording.
If you’ve discovered what “type of anger” they have, you could just use it against them. If it’s sadness, you could just worsen it by degrading them until they crumble. Vice versa with fear; while staying on subject of the argument, you could mention the worst possible outcomes that could occur until they, too, collapse.
No idea if this works (I don’t plan on trying it) but I feel like I could and it’s probably dark enough
Story 19 is basically why the pomodoro technique works so well 😊
The trick in story 13 can just backfire so easily if the manipulator already uses triangulation..
10:52
well.. op wasn't WRONG
when I was younger (idk, maybe around 8-9?) I would regularly have to attend my twin brother's football practices because my mom would be at work and my dad was a coach, and there was another sister of one of the players that would constantly make fun of me. At some point I complained to my dad about it, and he told me the next time she bothers me to fight her.
I... did not want to do that, but some time later I had gotten enough of her and upon remembering what my dad said, I ended up shoving her away from me
it may be important to note that I was quite taller and wider than her and oftentimes underestimated by own strength, so I shoved her harder than I meant to; I meant to just push her away, but I ended up shoving her hard enough to knock her down to her back, and then I walked away feeling bad because of it. Later that evening I was approached by my dad who had been told by the other girl's dad that I pushed her, and instead of getting onto me he just said I did good.
She didn't bully me again after that.
I ran into her years later briefly. She apologized for making fun of me back then, and I said I was sorry for shoving her. All water under the bridge.
"IF YOU WANT TO RESOLVE A FIGHT, BE VIOLENT"
I used this trick as recently as yesterday, basically if someone is fighting or quarrelling, you gotta be more aggressive, violent and loud than them. So basically yesterday two of my classmates were fighting over something very trivial and i didnt want to see them beat each other up, so i asked them resolve it in a civilized manner and talk it out but they started throwing hands again right in front of me. Tbh i felt offended cuz they didnt do what they accepted to do and i started pushing both of them apart from each other and shouted at them louder than they ever did. Lol i made such a scene yesterday. This was all in the college washroom.
And remember immediately after they stopped fighting i returned back to normal. If you go crazy and mad then there's no use in using this technique.
✌️🙃
The lentil one: back in the dark ages through medieval times it was said to protect yourself from a vampire, throw a handful of rice, dried peas or beans at his feet. He'll be so occupied counting you have a chance to get away. Who knew medieval vampires were OCD?
Story 23, I mean, got recently some ''therapy" and it's... hard to be honest. After searching/seeing some things about mental illness, and just... not really getting hold of yourself, it's just easier to fake it a bit, and get confirmation that yes, there is something wrong and it has a name, than just... dunno, come out empty-handed?
Like, depending on day, I get "nah, I don't have any ADHD or something, just need to work about my motivation to do things" or "Maybe I do have something, it does look like on those reels, it would explain many things" (and I even don't want the diagnosis like, the paper, because it won't change a thing in my life, and no way I will eat another stupid pills, so why would I even need a diagnosis in the first place XD)
I accidantaly did the manipulation in story 5 to some friends a few years ago but beacause of some reason I just stopped and the cold turkey made them normal again. After realising that I felt bad but then forgot and now I feel bad again.
15:56 This is actually due to the fact that your brain essentially re-remembers a memory every time you remember it. Therefore, it can get slowly warped over time, forgetting details and potentially even believing your own lies. I’ve done this to myself a lot, and now there are a lot of stories I just don’t tell anymore because I’ve lied about tiny little things about them so many times that certain details are nigh impossible to remember for sure.
13:49 I have been doing this subconsciously this whole time