How Stuttering Has Influenced Our Relationship | International Stuttering Awareness Day 2022

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  • Опубліковано 22 лис 2024
  • For International Stuttering Awareness Day my wife and I sat down and had a candid discussion about stuttering, what we have both learned and how we have grown. Given it's a big part of my life it has influenced our relationship as a whole as she became more mindful and empathetic towards the neurodiversity that is stuttering.
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    Hey if you're new to my channel my name is Ruban!
    As in intro I work in finance in London, I've given 2x TEDx talk and I'm a person who stutters! I've made a bunch of content over the years around stuttering and also co-founded a charity to help others who stutter in employment. I'm also a bit of a nerd around communication and public speaking so check out the link to my bi-weekly newsletter if that sounds up your street.
    🔗 Links:
    ✉️ Bi-weekly newsletter: www.linkedin.c...
    🐻 TEDx Talk #1: • The Invisible Challeng...
    🐻 TEDx Talk #2: • Speak up at School and...
    🤳🏾 The Gram: / rubanpillai
    🌍 Website: rubanpillai.com

КОМЕНТАРІ • 24

  • @Ruban_
    @Ruban_  2 роки тому +4

    Thank you for watching this video! We had a great time experience discussing stuttering and documenting the experience. Feel free to post any questions or comments :)

  • @callum_theschof
    @callum_theschof 2 роки тому +5

    Love this so much! "Having a stammer doesn't mean you just have to hide it..." Such a great, insightful idea!

  • @andremotivation6561
    @andremotivation6561 Рік тому +1

    This was a great talk, you two are fortunate to find eachother, I've had a stutter since childhood and its been a rollercoaster but always a rewarding experience with all the things I've accomplished and people I've met. Lol only thing I'm still trying to figure out is the relationship part.

    • @Ruban_
      @Ruban_  Рік тому

      I'm confident if you're putting yourself out there the right person will gravitate towards you eventually. Its a rough world so you want the right partner with you :)

  • @tanaminogarashi
    @tanaminogarashi Рік тому +2

    Love the dynamic between you two, and how supportive your wife is. I wish my brother could see this, as he has been in a deep depression over the past 4 years or so due to what i believe to be his stutter.
    He hid it for basically his entire life, and i realize today that i actually don’t really know him. I knew about his achievements in high school and the activities he did, but i knew NOTHING about his internal world. Before things spiraled downwards he used to say that he was a sham in high school, and i was surprised because i had no idea.
    Add to that having basically no family support system (my parents are divorced, dad had a temper and was a tiger dad), and having to deal with the pressures so pervasive in the Asian-American community of achievement and working somewhere prestigious, things just went south. No one in our family knew how to deal with this. And i don’t know if, how, and when exactly he’ll get better.
    My apologies that im basically venting now, but yeah. Thanks for reading. If you so happen to have the time, he gave a TED Talk in college about his experience with stuttering: ua-cam.com/video/QpKa0BtTRr8/v-deo.html
    Thanks again for raising awareness about this and sharing your experience!

  • @HamidRz-c7u
    @HamidRz-c7u Рік тому +1

    One day god will give me wife like this 😂

  • @sahuq1
    @sahuq1 2 роки тому

    Knew Ruban back in uni (probs doesnt remember me!). You quickly forget he had a stammer because it was so secondary to his stellar personality. Top bloke.
    Great vid, very insightful!
    Keep it up!
    Shaz

    • @Ruban_
      @Ruban_  2 роки тому

      Of course I remember you. Faceoff 2008 :) thank you for the kind words

  • @KhaleelJamal
    @KhaleelJamal 2 роки тому +1

    20:14 - 22:09
    I totally agree with this answer.

  • @ShanuA_
    @ShanuA_ 9 місяців тому +1

    I also go through the same, we are much more stronger to deal with it. Watching this got me teary. Just few days back, a girl said no to me for marriage just coz i stammer.

    • @Ruban_
      @Ruban_  9 місяців тому

      Sorry to hear but if she's saying that then she's not going to be good for you. I think you escaped :) keep going

  • @samuelissac8483
    @samuelissac8483 2 роки тому

    Thank you for creating this video. Educational! Loved hearing this viewpoint. Its wonderful you found someone who accepts your stammer. Its good to see you all grateful for one another.

  • @KM-3111
    @KM-3111 Рік тому

    I am a stammer 2.i can relate to wat u r saying.

  • @memixifiy
    @memixifiy 2 роки тому +1

    Wonderful couple. You two are so lovely. Thank you for making this video and raising stuttering awareness :)

    • @Ruban_
      @Ruban_  2 роки тому

      Thank you! That's such a nice message :)

  • @BikerMouse80
    @BikerMouse80 2 роки тому

    Thanks for this video.( I also have stutter.)

  • @craigmalcom6294
    @craigmalcom6294 2 роки тому

    Great video! I’m wondering how did you two meet?

  • @1stlondontoastmasters64
    @1stlondontoastmasters64 2 роки тому

    Great work and so much useful information!

    • @Ruban_
      @Ruban_  2 роки тому

      Thanks! 🙂

  • @jameslong2659
    @jameslong2659 2 роки тому

    Great listen 👍🏻👍🏻

  • @resco91
    @resco91 Рік тому

    I have some questions for you
    I recently met this very nice girl, i like her very much , she has a stutter but i really don't mind it , i really love her for who she is as a person, should i bring this up and tell her that i like her stutter or would it be embarrassing for you/her to bring this up ? I really don't want to make her feel bad or self conscious, and i always let her talk and finish her sentences no matter how much she is suttering ,i just keep eye contact and smile listening to her , it's the first time i meet a girl with a stutter and i really want to approach things in the best way possible to make her feel comfortable with who she is as a individual

    • @Ruban_
      @Ruban_  Рік тому +1

      This is a really good question and it's great you're taking the time to find out more. It may well depend on her personality but has she given any indication that she wanted to open up herself?

    • @resco91
      @resco91 Рік тому +1

      @RubanPillai_ we just met this weekend and yes , on that first day we just talked for hours on a bench, about our passion , interests and she told me she had two surgeries but I don't recall for what , but yes she seems pretty open , she also told me she felt bad because she doesn't really get noticed by people as in they don't really want to talk to her and I let her know she will have my full attention anytime

    • @Ruban_
      @Ruban_  Рік тому

      @rescostoontunescovers3558 I'd probably wait a bit and give her the opportunity to talk about it first. It's probably something she wants to share but is waiting for the right moment. Just keep up with the good habits and enjoy these moments for now. You are already more informed than ~80% of people dating someone that stutters so you're in a good place! See how the next few weeks ago and feel free to report back !