I explained to my husband what it was when talking about all things childbirth and how he can support me and protect me if I do not have the capacity to speak, and he was appalled. I love him to death!
Same here. My husband had no clue what it was and was absolutely disgusted when i explained it to him and agreed to throw hands on my behalf if it's as much as mentioned lol
This makes me even more angry thay my partner wasn't there when I gave birth. What if something were to happen and I wasn't able to advocate for myself. He's trash.
@@reyfin4922 so sorry to hear you didn't have the appropriate support 😔 we need to instil respect for women and childbirth in the next generation, not neglect like too many men in our generation have
Why is a tiny stitch to make your vagina tighter appalling? Nobody seems to be appalled by implants in breasts or a facelift when you have jowls in your 60s or Botox for those lines in your for head. Give me a break.
In 1992 & in 1994 my OBGYN told the Nurse or PA stitching me up to absolutely DO NOT do the husband stitch. He checked oit the baby, then came back and watched the last few stitches to be certain his orders were followed. I was told that the husband stitch was the "normal habit" of all the medical staff he worked with throughout his time in practice in various places. Im so glad he went to bat for me!!
It's so hard to be intimate after birth anyway, why on earth would this be normal practice? Things are dry and hormonal and it's just all around painful, and that was after a c section, I didn't even have to push him out or be torn and stitched back up!
My ex husband asked my doctor to do that. And my doctor said your wife doesn’t have a problem there. Apparently the problem is with you. And began to ignore him! Rip he was a great Gyno doctor 😢
So precious that after carrying your child for 9 months and going through the pain and trauma of childbirth, that there’s men out there that have this as their first thought.
Ppl are selfish, I’d say it’s a joke most of the time and men like to be funny in stressful situations like watching your s/o give birth. I could be wrong tho so who knows. I just know I’d make a joke in the hospital room cuz jokes make me feel less stressed and that would be a situation I’d be rly stressed in
@@JoeMama-zk2bm A "Husband stitch" can make it painful for the wife. If you want something that small. Find an old Victorian keyhole, or is that still too big for you?
@@brewsterbrandon9554 Stressful for the husband? try the wife. She just pushed out a new life. Face it, OBGYNs are sick of this "Joke." it dehumanizes the wife.
I had a friend who was an older widow. She went in for bladder surgery, and her doctor tightened things up for her. She was livid!!!! He got into trouble for doing that with his surgeries as an 'added bonus'.
Bladder surgeries often involve repositioning. To do this they place sutures in the vagina and attach them to a pelvic ligament to create a sling which holds the bladder in place. I don’t think the Dr. was being nefarious, flippant maybe when discussing the possible outcomes of the procedure. Hope your friend is doing better ❤
Oh my god, women can't even get surgery for other organs without having to worry about the doctor mutilating their genitals. I hope she SUED for medical malpractice. What he did is sexual assault.
@@Dweebageppl will do anything to discredit a the woman and dedent the man in a story that has even nothing to do with them where they don't know even half of the details. It's honestly getting pathetic
I got it .. may 2020. I didnt realize what the doctor meant. But she put 1 extra stitch in to make me tighter. I only needed 1- very small tear. That 2nd stitch actually got infected and i had severe nerve issues, had to get physical therapy to stretch it and desensitized it
I hate that you went through that. If you still have issues, please contact a certified midwife for help. Even though it has been this long, there are treatments. Again, I’m sorry. You deserve better.
A family friend was telling me recently about how a doctor gave his ex wife this procedure without informing them prior. The woman ended up with so much scar tissue that it ended up making sex unbearable. It is barbaric and anyone doing this needs to go to prison.
The only scar tissue would be from the rear itself, so if the tear was just really big and they had to stitch a ton then that’s what made the sex difficult, not the stitch. People always assume doctors just do things like that without telling anyone but no one else is looking at how many stitches are truly needed, sometimes an extra stitch is necessary because there’s still too much tissue unconnected. And also the only thing an extra stitch would do is make the vagina skin on the outside slightly tighter, not the inside.
@@alilih3652no mate, scar tissue isn’t built up from a regular wound unless it was infected and had to be stitched, or they added way to many stitches.
As a man, i firmly believe that if your husband, significant other, boyfriend, whatever asks for the "husband stitch" you need to get the hell out of there. I can promise you he doesn't care about you beyond you being his personal property.
I'd like to add nuance: if my husband asked me if it was okay, I would ask him if he knew what it was. If he did not, I would explain with as little bias as possible, but with great emphasis on the side effects (general pain and pain from sex, etc.). Some guys likely don't know and probably parrot what other men tell them online. However, if he's adamant that it gets done in spite of all of the pain, I would consider leaving the marriage.
I was given a husband stitch after my first baby in 2012 by a female obgyn. Neither me nor my husband knew or consented to this. Sex was hell afterwards. My husband asked if it was supposed to be like this and that's when the penny dropped what the obgyn had done to me. When I had my second baby two years later, I had a very very minor tear. I refused to be stitched and things have been normal and healthy ever since. This sh1t needs to stop
@@kacileigh6112wtf, it HAPPENED to her without her or her husbands consent. Did you not read it?? Just cause it doesn’t happen as often doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen at all. She has every right to be mad.
This is female genital mutilation and no one can change my mind. Also, how can this possibly lead to better sex if the woman is in pain the whole time??
It is mutilation, nothing more nothing less, it's some BS power move by those who hate women and what they have between their thighs. I can only dream this lead to a plethora of doctors and husbands getting unalived back in the day.
My midwife did this to me without my consent after I had my daughter. I had no pain medication, the whole thing took like half an hour when I was trying to focus on my new baby. And for about a year+ afterwords sex was pretty much a no go because of the pain. Anyone who does this, should be fired and sued. It nearly ruined my life.
@@shanesayre4981 you try going through a literally scarring experience brought upon by "professionals" you were supposed to be able to trust. It's medical abuse, pure and simple. And you sound like an incel who knows nothing about what you are talking about. I was sharing a horrible experience I went through, on a video it's relevant to. You, are just a troll.
My vagina was stitched 3 stitches closed from the perineum. Needed surgery to fix it. My husband was not a part of this and my OBGYN was a woman in practice for decades. She told me before beginning my repair: “You’re gonna be SO glad I did this!” I wasn’t.
This mind set is systematic. Being a female obygyn does not mean these archaic mentalities about this are not deeply ingrained in spite of progressive medical training.
@@c.l.888 The husband stitch defies nature. It’s not a restoration, but a mutilation. It can cause extreme pain in women, tearing, bleeding, and lack of any sexual enjoyment. It can cause frequent infections, and general day-to-day discomfort. The vagina does not need to be stitched tighter at the opening to improve tightness. The vagina is a muscles essentially and tension can be restored with therapy and strengthening if its lost. Plus-just tightening the opening isn’t very effective because it’s inside that matters more. This stitching is devastating to women. Some experience excruciating pain until they tear again with the next baby. No good husband is okay with pleasuring himself at the cost of his wife’s well being.
Lmao an urgent care is not going to tell you you had a “husband stitch”. What urgent care are you going to? A normal urgent care would tell you to follow up with your OBGYN and not make any stupid comments. At my urgent care we prescribe ibuprofen because people think it’s better than what you can get at the actual dollar store. Urgent cares are a joke.
My doctor literally looked at my husband, as he was stitching me before the numbing had kicked in, and said he was adding an extra stitch for him. I have never felt more vulnerable and abused.
@@bemosk16 , it was a very long time ago. I didn’t always know how to advocate for myself. Sadly, he’s also the doctor that caused my infection that had many long-term effects. My husband passed almost three years ago. Sadly, that’s what it took for me to be free. I loved him so much, but I also know how abusive and flawed he was. I’ve learned a lot, and those things would never happen again. Thanks for your kind words. 💕
Your story sounds like mine. My narcissist husband passed 2 years ago. Life lessons learned with no internet and people didn't talk about these things.
@@kzf8978 , yes!! I was so lost and silent for so long. I didn’t know what was happening to me. Once I put it all together I started fighting back. Hard. I only wish I had known so much sooner. But that’s life, I suppose. Glad I’m free and happy now.
A resident stitched me up and all the sudden I hear my doctor go why did you do that!? Why would you do that!? We don’t do that…pretty sure the resident went up an extra stitch. But so glad my lovely doctor had no problem sticking up for the patient no matter what. My doc passed away. She was a lovely woman. I was honored to have such a kind and caring person deliver my baby.
I'm extremely thankful my husband immediately rejected the idea when my doctor brought this up after I had given birth to our son. Said he was more worried about the recovery and would sue if an extra stitch was given. Grateful for the man I chose, and I really wish everyone has someone to care for them like this ❤️
your doctor brought it up 😰 I hope they're not your doctor anymore. Offering a husband stich even if it's just as a "joke" is a huge red flag, that doctor should not be allowed to get near female genitals in any context.
My husband is an o.r. tech. Usually present for deliveries in case there's an emergency C-section. He was in a vaginal delivery and heard the husband ask for the husband stitch. The mother agreed and the doctor did it. My husband just glared at the husband for being a disgusting human being. If immediately after giving birth your husband is thinking about sex instead of caring for you and your child together... Then maybe he's not a good person.
@@SouthernBelle67 it absolutely 10000000% makes him a horrible person because there is ZERO medical efficacy of extra stitches down there and in fact it is contraindicated in patients. So asking the Dr to do something to your wife who just gave birth that is actually bad for her and will actually make recovery worse for her and could permanently cause damage, pain, and discomfort is a horrific thing to do. Any man who brings this up is not someone who gives a shit about his partners wellbeing, and is also someone who is sorely miseducated on a woman's body, and is also someone who is insanely selfish and misogynistic. If he cares so much about how s3x feels for him, he should worry about enlarging his pen!s then if he feels it's too small for him. When she's giving birth is not the time to be thinking about s3x, it's the time to be thinking about parenthood and the child who was just born who should now be his responsibility. He should be focused on that. She will need time to recover, a woman's body takes 1-2 years to recover and go back to normal after pregnancy & birth, if he gives an iota of a damn about his partner as a human being he wouldn't be thinking about s3x and his own selfish pleasure while she's giving birth, or try to take advantage of that time as an "opportunity", only to maime and disfigure her body parts! The vaginal canal itself is a muscle and can contract and and relax, the opening itself is not the same as the canal itself so if you ever would open a biology book you'd understand the difference. I'm sick of the ignorance tbh.
Happened to my boss. Her husband “joked” about adding an extra stitch for him. The doctor did it. She had to go back to a different doctor almost a year later bcuz of all the pain. They found out he added three extra stitches and had turned into a rope like texture from the scar tissue. As soon as they removed the extra stitches and it healed she said it was such a relief.
@@LammasDelugemen can be disgusting. I’ll never forget the Dr who asked the father “What would you like? Medium? Tight?” The father laughed and said “It’s like throwing a sausage down a hallway”. The father had been married before and had another child, this was the first birth for this woman, and her husband says this 10 mins after she gave birth. I’ll also add, it was a very very bad joke. The Dr didn’t put in extra stitches, I was watching him like a hawk. I also got him to explain he was joking and any extra stitches would make things worse. This was over 25 years ago, I think many Drs have made the same bad joke, which made women believe they had a husband stitch. Unfortunately painful sex and scaring is common after peri repair.
She needs a divorce. That’s not something she should take lightly. Has that pig ever thought that maybe his penis is too thin and small for her vagina? A vagina is a muscular tube able to snap back to shape even after birth. Why is it our job to grip your fucking dicks when you don’t even have enough penis to fill the hole?! I feel so angry for any woman who had to go through a husband stitch
Imagine the amount of entitlement it takes to secretly request and have performed a modification to your wife’s body without consulting her or considering her well-being.
@@ChiliCat..Encouraging women to be more responsible with their choices is not victim blaming. It's actually empowering. Nothing is empowering about a woman choosing a man blindly and not knowing his true behavior, thoughts, amd feelings. Communicate better. Be more skeptical. Ask more questions. Pay attention more. I've rejected women from having sex with me because I paid enough attention to their behavior to have skepticism enough to not take the risk because their intentions were not pure and good. All within a month of dating them. Quit feeling sorry for people and enabling them. Blaming the husband won't stop the woman from making the same mistakes again. You've gotta hold women responsible for their choices. Because guess what? If she had chosen better and been more skeptical in the beginning, she wouldn't have this issue now. Prevention over cure.
@@Jake38nine Absolutely victim blaming regardless of how you wrap it. There is no way to know everything about a person so blaming them for not knowing something is accusatory and ridiculous. You just want her to be at fault. Own it.
Imagine creating and birthing your husbands child and the first thing he is worried about is your vagina being tight again 😭😭😭 I wouldn’t be the only one in a hospital bed that day
@@ivanaparty85Me too,i talked with my partner about this and he has totally different mentality, even about giving birth...he told me that womens body need much time to recover after giving birth, since takes 9 months to give birth our body needs 1 year to heal good,but 9 months for sure since our body goes through much in that 9 months.
Came to say exactly this.... literally are present for the birth of your child and the first concern, when the practiconer is helping to reconstruct the mother for recovery is to ask for a upgrade to the "quality" of the vagina, for sex? When especially you shouldn't even have sex for at least 4 weeks, the ultimate minimum??? fucking hell..........and I say update cus the husband stitch is the extra stitch to make it tighter than before....
@@mystdragon8530 the home is gonna be a hell of a lot more broken with a child raised by a man who wanted to mutilate his partner for sexual pleasure--what is that kind of person going to do around a child, who he can legally smack around? Like it really isn't worth talking through that one. It doesn't matter whether there is one parent or they're divorced, it matters whether the parents are trash or fighting with each other.
Her last sentence there . . . it's because she's a doctor! Bless her. I am a lawyer. I advise you to file for divorce. A man who would ignore his wife's bodily autonomy and choice, and disrespect her humanity in this most vulnerable and sacred of moments does not regard her as his equal, partner, or friend. He sees her as an object for his use. Every woman deserves better! And as other comments have noted: sue the pants off the doctor. In the U.S. you'd go to another doctor to be examined so that the medical malpractice can be documented (you *need* documentation). Think about how that money will help you and your child, and don't hesitate.
I have a question, since you're a lawyer and I'm at the first year of med school. How can a patient AVOID that in the first place? Would a written something do anything at all? (For example, we were taught that Geova's Witnesses can have something in their wallets to identify them as they refuse blood transfusions, so that a doctor doesn't practice that on accident. What do you think? What could anyone do to prevent this horrible thing from happening?
You're absolutely right, any man concerned with the husband stitch isn't worth his weight in oxygen- let alone time. File for divorce and get the heck out while you still can.
Especially scary when you consider that husbands have the power over extreme, and immediate life/death medical decisions of the woman. He could tell the doctors to pull the plug and then explain why it had to be to her grieving loved ones, and then get remarried 6mo later It’s terrifying, and lethal
The father of my sons asked my OB to “put an extra stitch in” while I was being sewn up after the birth of my twins (He’s my ex for lots of reasons like that). “I’m sorry you need one,”my OB replied. He never missed a beat, never missed a stitch - and I was the one who got the wink. Shout out to Dr. K. I still love that man to pieces. 🙂💜
Whyd you have sex with him in the first place? These behaviors are quite obvious before you have sex. Unless you only knew him for like a month. You chose to have sex with him. Women need to be more responsible with their choices of men in bed. If you take responsibility, guess what? You wouldn't have had to deal with any of that in the first place. Prevention is much better than curing something that is prevalent. It's better to think abd take care of yourself before anyone else. You wouldn't let someone in your house who wants to lock you in it, so why would you let someone in your hole who wants to lock it up tighter for themselves? Taking responsibility for your own choices is the most encouraging thing you can do. I've rejected women from having sex with me because they didn't align with my values or they were SA'ing me from the moment I met them. Self-awareness, accountability, and awareness of your surroundings is key.
@@Jake38nine nope. Women DON’T always know who they’re sleeping with. People can start showing their true colors MONTHS after marriage. Once they’re married they feel more comfortable with showing their true colors. Because they think they got them.
@@laurayarbrough4646 Then those women are not communicating enough, asking enough questions, and aren't skeptical enough from the very beginning of the relationship. Don't let butterflies control you or your entire relationship. Be rational, think outside of your own self, be insightful, put yourself first, and ask questions and pay attention to behavior. There are always tells to someone being toxic and lying to you. If you miss those tells, you are too blind by loneliness, desperation, and butterflies. I knew a girl for less than a month when she was sexually harassing me and it lead her to sexually assaulting me, I was slightly confused, but I also knew the consequences of having sex with her could be like, which would be false allegations, and I rejected her when she pressured me into having sex with her. I never initiated anything with her. She was always the one trying to initiate things with me. You have to be self-aware and insightful to the bigger picture. You can't only think of what's happening in that moment. Because your choices habe consequences and there's always signs of toxic behavior. This girl went on to be homeless and dating a pedo. I dodged a bullet. You could too. Quit living life as a victim. You don't get to the point of a "husband stitch" without red flags slapping you in the face for months to years. It is not an immediate thing like someone stabbing you. There are always signs of manipulation, lying, misogyny, and toxicity. Most people choose to be blind to them so they aren't lonely in life because society peer pressures people and shames people for not being in relationships or not having sex. You have to stop following society and peer pressure. Think for yourself and only yourself. Victimizing yourself gives you zero empowerment.
My husband made me feel better about my tearing. I tore my labia horribly and it took an hour to stitch me back up. He said everything still feels wonderful and honestly our bodies tighten back up on their own. He said that it brought his son into the world! And it is wonderful to him.
My husband was exactly the same! Absolutely appalled by the husband stitch and equally confused. I'm 8 months pregnant with baby #4 and he insists that everything naturally returns to normal in the following months after birth. He has always been honest with me and he would tell me the truth 😊
@@kaelabelle4886this almost makes me cry for some reason. i think my partner would tell me the truth too and i believe him if he says smtg i feel weird about is fine. this is the guy who said my hat (fresh out of an attic box) smelled like fish socks LOL sooo
Imagine the roles were reversed and whenever men went in for life saving surgery they were automatically given penis enlargement surgery and subdermal implants without their knowledge leading to pain and complications
@@kinkydaddy3147technically though a smaller penis would be more pleasurable. the average woman's vagina depth is only 3-5 inches. so yeah, imagine if after your husband goes into some sort of major surgery, they decided to shorten him up. he would feel dehumanized. which is how it feels to a woman to be forced a husband stitch. you are dehumanized to just a baby maker and a hole.
@@kinkydaddy3147 Exactly, most women would NOT want a comically large penis the way some men want a comically small vagina on their partner. Men want that for themselves and their ego🤦♀️ It's not a good comparison because too many men's reaction to reading this would be 'Hell yeah I would thank the doctor!'
Had a midwife look at the father and say, "I assume you're wanting this because you haven't got much in the way of equipment. Sorry, no can do." Mic drop moment!!!
If you're cheering on insulting someone you chose to be with, let inside you, and/or marry, you're irresponsible and make terrible decisions in your life. You should choose better so you don't have to cheer insulting someone you're supposed to love. That's just toxic. Choose better. Take more responsibility.
@@nathanabner4524 Unless you were this woman's husband or doctor, you don't know anything... Sadly, the husband stitch is more common than you think. Even if she is lying, who cares? It doesn't effect you
Where I worked, a doc would say , " are your bits too small ? Is that why u want it tighter? " whenever a husband requested it to be stitched tight 😂. Loved seeing their faces turn red with embarrassment after her comment 😂
My wife had a c section. But after seeing her go through a brutal and dangerous pregnancy with premature twins and pre-eclampsia, the last thing on my mind was sex. I was just happy to have my wife and two beautiful children in my arms. Some guys are just clueless
This is what happened to my mom in 1974. It ruined her life. It was so painful. She just couldn't have sex. She would cry in pure agony. In her forties, she when to her OB/Gyn seeking a hysterectomy, the doctor knew right away, and while she was under for her hysterectomy, the doctor cut her free, essentially.
@maxlosergor7165 Yes, it eventually loosed enough that she could have sex, but the trauma from many year of pain was hard to overcome, so she really spent the best years of her life scared of intercourse.
Happened to me, too. I had it reversed as soon as possible - sex was impossible! The doctor suggested it & I was dumb enough to go for it. SMH. ( My husband is not a small size,, LoL) That was for my first baby- I had over 100 stitches. My second baby- I had 140 stitches,, I made sure to be stitched up to my original size, had no problems at all. The woman's body has an amazing ability to heal after having a baby. Tearing tho, is entirely avoidable with an episiotomy. It's scar tissue from tearing that can cause problems. I knew that my baby was too big, and I was too small. My OB/ GYN knew to give me an episiotomy BEFORE I tore. My sister was not so lucky, and had to have husband stitching way after the fact. Anyways,, be careful ladies.
So much truth in your answer and you don't even know it. These women are acting appalled but I've seen a lot on here try to belittle men about penis size. Men catch way more shit about penis size than women do about tightness.
@@jasonk876 So much truth in your comment. Men catch way more shit from THEIR FELLOW MEN about their size. There, fixed it for ya. I know women aren't that cruel to each other ☕
@@user-nz8gr7em6o Are you saying that women dont do that? Why do you say that? When I was younger, I've witnessed girls mock guys for that and spread rumors. You should look up studies and surveys. Heck, look at the comments and likes on this page. There are several women talking and laughing about penis size. I'm hesitant to tell my 4th reason, but I have unusually sized anatomy. There have been situations where females have heard that and treated me differently. I've had them pursue in a weird, sexual harassment way. They developed a sexual undertone in their speech and behavior and I'm talking about girls that had not shown interest. Some girls that I had "encounters" with talked (mocked) about other guys and size. You've never heard women laugh at other guys? Look at the behavior of young girls if you want to see how cruel women can be. Cheerleaders type girl... Yesterday, we were walking in our neighborhood and saw about 7 girls, from a nearby Bday party. It was a pretty but cool say. They were attractive young teens that dressed like they were trying to get views on TicTok. There was 1 boy. They were talking him into climbing into a subdivision retention pond. He finally did it. They then giggled and convinced him to put his head under. I know that nasty water was very cold. He did, as they ALL recorded him with their phones and laughed. They said things like, "that's a real man". Then they all started laughing and ran away, leaving him. My 14 yo son is 6', blonde/big blue eyes, quite, polite, thin/ athletic, and better looking than I ever was. My wife is very pretty and he takes his face after her. My wife has always said he looks like a Polo model but he is very quite and shy. He has always had an innocents about him. He goes to a small private school and has limited exposure. At 14, he has still never talked about a girl. He's a beautiful kid but has no killer instinct. He never gets mad. We sort of worry about him for that reason. We stood and watched and then we talked to him about it, bc we wanted him to see how manipulative girls can be to boys that try to impress them. My wife was explaining more than I was, btw!
Having a child doesn’t even necessarily always loosen the vagina. It can make the pelvic floor weaker which can be fixed with exercise. Society is such an asshole to moms. Like just because we’re not 19 years old doesn’t mean our 🐱 isn’t purfect😊
@@hillaryh.5197 They say after vaginally having 3 or more kids it starts to, but the first and second child it goes back to normal. I spoke to my OB about it because I was curious about the claims and shame surrounding it.
Side note, not just "exercise" but specifically pelvic floor exercises by pelvic floor PT specialists. Having someone just do what they think are kegels isn't necessarily doing it... ❤
Bruh, we tighten back up on our own... So glad I'm with a man who isn't a shitty person. Be very careful who you get pregnant with. Have high emotional standards.
This. Please! Or if it's too late and you're already pregnant, least look at the doctor and tell them if they do it, you'll sue them for everything they're worth.
Men aren’t shitty people for liking tight vagina’s.. most women don’t like micro penises, either. My husband didn’t ask me to get the stitch but I thought why not. And honestly once you’re all healed after having your baby, it doesn’t make that much of a difference anyways. So who cares about one little tiny stitch? The same people complaining about this would more than likely not give a second thought to cutting their breasts open in shoving implants in there.
@@roselove2983Just cause you're lucky doesn't mean all people are .. most women suffer great pain because of this . Respect other people's suffering, the world doesn't revolve around you and your experiences. No man on earth deserves that a woman becomes a sexual doll for him no matter how much pain she feels, or oppressed her opinion is .. Shame on you being a woman and defending such a horrible thing
I had one done after birth, and neither my husband nor I knew. Granted, I had a full episiotomy due to my baby girl’s big a$$ head, but I felt “wrong” weeks later when we finally tried to be intimate and it HURT. I was fully healed “supposedly” and I was in so much pain. My doctor never outright said it when I asked, but he looked at my husband rather pointedly and avoided eye contact with me. My husband was PISSED. Both for me and for the situation. How it was a violation of my trust, of HIS trust in my doctor’s hands when I was so vulnerable. Took me FOREVER to get comfortable with intimacy again and even now, almost six years later, the discomfort still tears it’s ugly head. Also I have a new gyno. So there’s that.
I'm sorry for what happened to you. This was one reason why I only see female doctors. Besides, your hooha recovers and it's usually like you never gave birth to a tiny human.
My doctor did something like this during a hysterectomy. My husband asked him without my knowledge. I nearly died. He cut and narrowed it. I almost bled out. Died 3 times on the table. Did not find out what all he did until several years later from a different gyno. By then 1st dr was dead. Irony- had already filed for divorce from hubby so whatever he thought he was getting he never did.
Your husband asked for him to perform genital mutilation on you and your doctor did it. I am so thankful you are divorced from him, but so so sorry you went through that 😮
Holy hell, reading these comments is breaking my heart and infuriating me. I'm so, so sorry to everyone who experienced this. Giving birth is overwhelming enough without this crap. Y'all are crazy strong and any men that think this way dont deserve you or your children. Sending hugs
I absolutely HAD to report the person who replied to you that told you to "calm down" with a couple laughing emojis and a clown emoji. Talk about someone with fragile masculinity! I bet he's got a micro🍆 😂😂😂
Imagine being the clown that replied to this comment that has nothing better the do with their life other than making pitiful comments behind a screen attacking genuinely normal people with normal concerns for others simply because they have nothing better to do with their sad life Pathetic and laughable
I was the nurse in the delivery room when a dad asked the delivering OB for this "extra stitch." Without missing a beat, the OB (male, btw) looked right at the dad and asked him, "Oh, you NEED that? " Best comeback ever!
@@pearpo It's painful and causes issues later, so no one wants it. Also, vaginal muscles can be exercised and become stronger, the muscles should never be tight because that also causes issues and pain.
One of the biggest impediments to me getting treatment in 14 years of chronic illness has been GOOD DOCTORS who don’t believe and can’t conceive of there being BAD DOCTORS or that their “colleagues” could mistreat a patient on purpose.
Ya, it’s a way to disassociate from the abuse. I would love to see what this ob has to say after reading all the comments of women who have been abused in this way. She seems like an excellent physician but never seems to address all the abuses against women that happen often in her field.
@@M155ABYSS ya, it’s been extremely disappointing to not see her engage AT ALL with all the female victims of the thing she blithely says “does not happen”. So invalidating. I expect better from doctors than statements of absolutes that are based on nothing but their singular training experience. It’s NO LONGER taught, and SHOULDN’T ever happen. But she is a baby, there are OBGYNs still practicing who graduated in the 80s, 90s, etc. And what she was trained to do as a female vs. what old men teach young men in the field to do can vary significantly from person to person and program to program. Doctors who discount the possibility of heinous patient mistreatment are protecting their own ego, not patents.
@@DZE457it doesn't make sense. Actually think about it. You are making the entrance smaller...the part that gives u pleasure is the inside. Why would u make it harder to get inside? No critical thinking 🤦
It's disturbing how women and girls have no bodily autonomy. There are several states where it's legal for the medical staff to perform non-consensual pelvic exams on female patients while she's unconscious under anesthesia for surgeries that have NOTHING to do with the vagina. Dr. Youn actually responded to this happening to a MINOR who is a virgin. Doctors can do whatever they want to us and no one cares.
Reading all these women go through all that extra stitched assault and trauma makes me literally sick. And we still have some people saying that the medical field is not marred by misogyny and regressive practices.
WORD! The USA literally has the highest rate of maternal death in childbirth than any other developed nation!! IN THE YEAR 2023!!! It has the best capacity for providing care yet STILL there's this high of death!! Look at the prenatal, L&D and post partum process for ANY other developed nation and compare it to the USA. Women get to actually come to hospital/birthing center days before the expected due date and are provided amazing postpartum care too. Women get to actually be taken care of for longer than just the meager few days they are given in the US. It's just truly heartbreaking, unacceptable and an embarrassment to the USA in my opinion.
It is. For years I've been trying to get my reproductive system examined for endometriosis and I've been gaslit and told "it's just a normal period" and shooed off without proper examination. They just felt around my stomach and refused to refer me to a females doctor for further help.
Many women that have had it say that they now have pain and issues. It is a form of FGM and disgusting. Doctors who do that should be taken to court for FGM and for their licence. You are invading a woman's very private space she was always told to protect. And in the most vulnerable exposing situation she would absolutely avoid if she weren't giving birth. Women face so much danger when uncovering their bodies, it's horrific.
I got in a "heated debate" with an "uneducated" male in our biology lecture in college We were discussing genitalia anatomy and reproduction including modern birthing processes and someone else asked if the husband stitch was an actual thing which segued into a conversation about GM(male and female) The offending male proceeded to ask why circumcision was still practiced today, which yes, I see his point, no it's not the same, because it's typically done for medical/hygienic reasons not solely for the pleasure of a bed partner or to "prevent sin" Circumcision has no adverse effect on sexual function, sensitivity, sexual sensation, or satisfaction
@@samcourts3544Actually it's mainly done for cultural reasons in America, under the guise of hygiene. Theres no need for it. It's child abuse to do that to a baby and it absolutely does diminish sexual pleasure because the unprotected skin has to toughen up.
@nataliebutler I'm female and do not have a doctorate so maybe I'm misinformed on the subject But I was taught in like 4th or 5th grade that male circumcision is for medical and hygienic reasons And then further in depth in later graded about the types of infections males get especially in their first year of life and how the foreskin can be too tight at birth and diminish blood flow causing a plethora of other medical issues leading up to possible penectomy
Walking the halls of the hospital I worked at I heard a guy joking about the husband stitch with a friend of his. Dead ass stopped with my cart, looked him up & down and said, so how small did they have to go to make you feel adequate? Their jaws hit the floor, and I left them after saying the only big thing about him was his misogynistic ego and even that was mediocre at best 🙃
We should all be more like this! People don’t evolve if they aren’t pushed. So we should punish the assholes to evolve instead of continuing these patterns!
After my first child, my doctor (a female) did this. She acted like it was for my own benefit, but turns out it made things painful)... After my second child, my doctor (a male) did not do this. I am grateful for that man.
@@KE-xj9vm yeah but social evils are not limited by gender or any other barriers. Racism as an example is common among most of the cultures across the globe.
They did this to me after my first born son. I was not able to have sex for over six months past the recommended six week wait. It was so painful it was traumatic and my partner was frustrated and i worried about him leaving or cheating on top of taking care of a newborn for the first time. I had regular stitches next baby. The last two were homebirths with an excellent midwife that taught me to just pause during the ring of fire and NOT push. I found that my contractions stopped and gave me chance to rest before pushing the shoulders out gently and this allowed me to not tear!!! Twice my homebirths I did not tear after twice having hospital births were I did and needed to be stitched up!! Also I gave birth squatting at the side of my bed with the last two. I found the screaming wasn’t for the pain but for my diaphragm/muscles to push more effectively. Oversharing in case someone needed to know.
i appreciate the over sharing. it’s baffling to me how we’re in the 21st century yet our medical practitioners (western ones in particular) still don’t know how to deliver babies correctly or how women should recover. obgyns are clueless to a degree that would be unacceptable in any other field.
it STILL baffles me the difference from two hospital births to two home births. I genuinely do NOT believe that people are even remotely aware of how much hospitals amplify our maternal fears for profit. I genuinely do NOT think most interventions in the hospital births are necessary AT ALL!!! At the hospital I had pitocin, epidural, oxygen mask, needed vacuum assistance at the end for both babies as well as having had stitches from being cut. I HAD NONE OF THAT FOR MY HOMEBIRTHS!!!! I even was overdue by a few days past my due dates for both of the second births. First two were born at 37 and 38 weeks, last two were 40 weeks +1 and 40 weeks +3. No complications, totally healthy. I've seen so many women saying they're so grateful they were at the hopsital because of the complications that occured and needed help... but just my own theory is that women are sooo incredibly powerful at manifesting especially while pregnant and vulnerable, our psychic ability is enhanced, I think SOME doctors NOT all, are convincing women that they need certain things and "for the safety of the baby" is being used against us more than everyone wants to admit. @@morighani
I will never understand why hospitals won’t adopt common sense, age old wisdom about giving birth. Oh, it’s easier for the doctors and nurses if the mother is on a bed? Well, too bad! Figure out a way to work WITH the mother, not against her. They make giving birth so much more difficult and scoff at midwives who ~actually~ know what they are doing. But that ever present fear that your baby might need immediate medical care is hard to overcome. I feel for all the mamas. And I am glad your home births were safe and successful. ❤
Yup. My mum really got into natural birthing, and the Main points I've heard are don't push just breathe, never on your back, and no pain meds-youll be too tired and baby won't feed properly, which will cause bonding issues
I’m a L&D nurse and have had men ask for this WHILE the doc was sticking up their partner…….I replied “oh I’m so sorry to hear you have that problem” Needless to say, he was quiet after that and the doc high fived me back at the desk. 😂
Everybody I know who got it, says it made sex really painful and pretty much ruined their sex life. I don't understand any doctor ever supported it. I'm appalled that it's still happening
I don’t understand why they don’t go to a doctor and see what can be done for them? I had it done with no issues, but I can tell you if I had discomfort I would have definitely gone to see a doctor. Why punish yourself for the rest of your life!?! Very strange..
@@roselove2983The problem sweetie is that lots of women get this without their consent and it's always too tight to the point it makes sex PAINFUL for them. It's never enjoyable anymore and it ruins their sex life. Your case might be different because they probably didn't stitch up high at all. Get this idea out of your head that it's a good thing when many have said it ruined their lives and weren't even asked!!
@@TheOMGRamen well sweetie the problem is you’re statement is baseless. Facts don’t care about your feelings. Most of the people commenting on here are like my friends, cousins, neighbors, sister got the stitch and sex for her was painful.. or I THINK I got an extra stitch because when I had sex it was painful. The reality is it’s not uncommon for women to experience pain after a vaginal delivery in some form or another. I’m simply saying from my own research several OB/GYN‘s have said themselves they believe more often the pain women are experiencing are from other things. Some OB/GYN‘s had even said that they’ve never seen a woman who’s had that procedure done in their entire practice. I’m not saying it doesn’t exist. I’m just saying it doesn’t appear to be very common. We also don’t have scientific data we can site on the subject. If women suspect that having an extra stitch is causing them severe pain in intercourse, why not visit your OB/GYN ask her to examine your perineum and see if your doctor believes that you were not stitched properly. You want to know the side effects of having a tear during labor or an episiotomy: an increase in pain at the incision persistent or increased bleeding, leaking of urine or feces, signs of infection, such as pus, a bad smell, or swelling at the incision site, persistent pain with vaginal intercourse,an inability to use tampons, an increased risk of having to undergo another episiotomy in future births, scar tissue formation, prolapse. So, in conclusion, almost every OB/GYN has stated that it is just not standard or common. Most likely it’s women jumping to conclusions. But if you have an issue and you suspect that this has happened to you and it’s causing issues go see a doctor. from what I understand, they basically cut you and let it heal sometimes with stitches, sometimes without. Have you ever had to so somebody’s vagina that was torn in several different places ranging from many different degrees, do you think that maybe sometimes it just doesn’t heal properly? That’s why we have postnatal care that’s why we have exams, so if there is a problem it can be addressed. Not all doctors are wonderful people, but I’m gonna go out here on a limb and say I don’t think most doctors actually want to hurt women and cause issues for them. All these feminists out here have to turn everything into an attack on women and play the victim. Surgery and stitches are complicated. That’s why we have people go to school for 8 to 10 years to do them. You ever hear about the complications people have when they have cosmetic surgery like a facelifts or breast implants? Or how about complications that people have with back surgery or knee surgery or hip surgery? Do you think these doctors intend for these complications to happen?
I just don't understand how the husband had any say. You are the patient, and the doctor is your doctor... I thought as a society we got through the whole "the wife is my property" thing 😮💨. I am so sry that happened to you.
What we have learned today: If your husband ever requests this, leave them. Just leave them. Immediately leave them. If the doctor does this, report them ASAP, see another doctor ASAP and have them remove that stitch ASAP. This kind of thing is unacceptable.
You don't leave your husband, you talk things over with him, explain your point of view, hear his point of view, and understand each other. That's a marriage. We shouldn't run every time they do something we don't like, same as he shouldn't run every time his wife does things he doesn't like.
This happened to me with no one’s consent, including my partner’s. It was so bad that I wasn’t able to have PIV sex until 10 months postpartum. It is so destructive to have control over someone else’s body and to attempt to “improve” it without knowledge or consent. It caused so much trauma in my life. Thankfully, my partner was 90% understanding and caring and helped me heal from a lot of the trauma such that I no longer dissociated from that part of my body.
I left my abusive ex husband 5 years ago, he believed babies stretched you out and made you “too loose”. Every time we thought I was pregnant he’d mention this. 4 1/2 years ago I met my partner, and despite having no plans for another relationship we just clicked. We conceived in January of this year. Imagine my shock when I mentioned my fear he’d not be attracted to me anymore due to this belief and he shook his head and said that no one could honestly believe that. Get you a real man that values you for you, ladies and gents, don’t put up with this kind of “hidden” abuse!
Such a BS myth. Do your leg or arm muscles stay loose and wobbly after you work out and stretch them out? No! Same goes with your pelvic floor muscles!
Just disgusting! I was told that myth...also my a** becomes nonexistent bc that's supposedly what pregnancies do, never mind the changes in the breasts! The whole experience was my birth control after that. Never found someone that I thought would actually care for me and about me during pregnancy and afterwards. Especially considering I would be "high risk" by medical terms. All I can say is, if you a son teach him to be more like that good man you found and teach him to be like the one that you never had but know his partner would deserve. And ofc teach daughters that having a baby doesn't mean your body is worthless and gross!
Exactly! It's like "Or maybe the issue is that you're not big enough?". As in maybe NO woman will ever be tight enough for a man of your...."stature". 😂
Before ANYONE says male doctors are the only one to do this, a friend of mine just won a court case against her FEMALE obgyn for doing this. The obgyn lost her license to practice and is baned from becoming any form of doctor ever again.
When my sister was getting stitched back up the doctor literally looked at her and said "We have to get you nice and tight for your husband". It was an awful experience for her.
Random but relevant story time! I had a TAIL down there after my first birth. Literally like a little hamster tail. 😭 My first doctor messed up my stitches up and left some skin dangling. Thankfully, my second doctor for my next birth fixed me up back to normal after my delivery. ❤ She was so busy and had so many patients and yet, even though we only discussed it ONCE in the first trimester, she remembered on the delivery day that I had wanted it fixed. 😊
my then fiancee didn't ask for it..neither did i. the doctor just TOLD us she was going to sew me up tighter as it's "more pleasant" for the husband. I had just delivered a baby, I would do ANYTHING for more attention from my fiancee at that moment. please ladies...DON'T DO IT. I tore all over and battled constant pain and infections.
I will never understand how husband is put first before mom’s health, comfort through healing & safety. I am so sorry you went through this. It’s misogynistic and degrading to be treated like our bodies are only to be enjoyed by men. Forget the person existing in it.
@@TealafulLogically, yeah, but the hormones are strong. Past trauma, etc. Not everyone is in a good enough place with themselves to see how screwed up that is. 😞
@@chelseabunker2391 Thank you! yes, it's true, even nowadays a woman's strongest power is her body...her b00bs, and what's between her legs matter more than what she feels as a human being. manipulating women is standard practice...our worth only lies in making babies, and men don't see it as the miracle it is...bc it IS a miracle. it's been proven men would die from the pain of child birth. why are we treated like meat?
To have your partner be so selfish and cruel is awful. As we got to the last few seconds of your short, when you said “If your husband is asking for this…………”, I felt my chest tightening from the anxiety of hearing the same thing I’ve heard so many times: “…. you need to leave him yesterday.” Hearing, instead, “… I’m so sorry. You deserve better.”, I immediately burst into tears. It’s too early for that amount of emotion; I just woke up! 😂❤. But just, thank you for being such a bright spot in my morning.
Not to be that person, but if you're hearing it so often that your chest is tightening up at the words "if your husband treats you like that" then you also absolutely know they're right and you are not doing okay. Sorry if it seems like the onus is always on you, but you'll never get the better treatment you deserve by staying. Hope you find a safe way out one day 😕
You do deserve better. And a while community exists to help and support you whenever you need it. In an ideal world, your partner would address his attitudes and behaviour... but we don't live in a perfect world, and he clearly hasn't. I hope you manage to escape ❤
I don’t want to be rude but if you’re hearing that you need to leave your husband so often that your chest tightened up at “if your husband asks for this” than you NEED to leave. You do deserve better than that. I hope you’re okay
If you and your wife plan to have any (more) children, consider it your duty to make sure her wishes are respected. Some doctors will do it without ANY input.
Most people ignore vows and see each other as a consumable. You're useful until you don't benefit me, then we can split and screw the kids it's all about me... I mean us. Thank you for caring about your wife's changing body.
Who the hell are they even to decide that !! It's your body and that discussion should be between u and the doctor not between your husband and your doctor.
This was done to my mother, rest in peace mum, 56 years ago during childbirth of her seventh. She was warned by another woman that her doc darn nearly stitched her shut. In my mum’s case she said she figured you could not even get something the diameter of a knitting needle in there. Graphic but she made a point. The doc had told her he could make her smaller. My parents apparently were unable to be intimate from then on. As for me, history repeated itself in 1980 on the birth of my first child. A mirror was placed in such a way as to allow me to see the birth of my first child. I watched as the doc stitched me up after episiotomy. I commented “he’s stitching me up like a turkey”! The stitching was honestly that crude. The entire experience of pregnancy and child birth was amazing to me. Joyful and exhausting all at once. However the attempts at intimacy for the ensuing three and one half years caused me to make a decision to divorce my husband mainly because he was so rough and unsympathetic resulting me to weep during inter course due both to the pain and the realization that he was unwilling to be understanding. He knew and forced himself on me anyway. Today we would call it rape. And oddly, on the birth of my second child, once again the result of “rape” by the same man, my doctor, a young doctor delivering his first baby “repaired” me to post childbirth! Whether intentional or not intimacy returned to my life. Please speak to your doctor and express the your need to be left in or returned to original state/no surgical intervention to “tighten or otherwise alter your size”. That’s my rant.
I recently saw a story on reddit where a woman woke up in extreme pain after childbirth, and the nurses and doctors all said that's normal n shit. And one nurse absentmindedly said that it's because of the husband stitch. She questioned what that was, asked her husband as well, and apparantly the doctor had asked HER HUSBAND if he wanted her to have the husband stitch and he said yes. So without the woman's consent as she was knocked out after childbirth and needing to be stitched up, they did this to her. She is now split from her husband and sued the hospital.
@@acswild5205 I unfortunately don’t think she’d have any legal ground to sue the husband on. She could maybe try to sue him for a torte, emotional damage that kind of thing, but those kinds of cases are hard to win. I’m glad she sued the hospital though bc that’s malpractice imo
There is no such thing as a husband stitch. Think about it, the story is that women ask for the “extra stitch” aka, the husband stitch. Where does it go then? The vagina is on average 6 inches long. If you put an extra stitch, then where do you put it? The outside, the middle or upper? One stitch cannot make your vagina tighter cause you cant just put it in one spot to make it tighter. That’s why she’s trying to explain this doesn’t exist. Ppl actually think that they got this because ppl really do ask for it. The doctor will say yes and wink but they’re really not doing it. That’s why women and men all over say they got it cause they really believe this. Just put it like this, the doctors is going to give you however many stitches you need, why would you need an extra one in the first place if the dr closed you? I know ppl that only needed 2 or 3 and I had 13. So 14 will really have made a difference? Where? Which part? This person who had to sue, isn’t because of an extra stitch, she was stitched wrong. This actually happened to me and it’s very painful..
@@EaRebel And based on what experiences/background/sources do you base the nonexistence of the husband stitch?There are tons of women who say otherwise, and tons of men who asked for the husband stitch.
Happened during my first birth. I had painful sex for 2+years after. My obgyn told me that she threw on an extra stitch at my first post partum appointment, as if giving me an air freshener after a car wash, so casually. She never 'winked ' at my husband or asked him anything, he didn't know, but he was also mad that it was done. When I gave birth the second time, I asked about stitches. The doctor said "maybe I can do one tiny stitch" and looked at my husband, my husband basically growled at her 'don't you dare". I love that man
This is a common thing in Brazil. Many doctors including woman doctors just do it without telling you about, only later, when the doctor already made the decision for you. Or just telling the husband while the wife is being stich up with the old good smirk and a wink, like the doctor is saying: "I got you bro". This is incredible gross and such a violation that I cannot even explain in words. In here it's a "virgin-again stich". 😠🤬
@@Goodpatronyeah, youre basically creating a scar between tissue that shouldnt be connected. This scar tissue, which has no ability to stretch, can make sex very painful for the person with a vagina. And it won't actually make the vagina any tighter, only the entrance.
These comments are making me happy to see so many women finally speaking up about this. Celebrities talk about the extra stich all the time like Snooki talks about it and how her husband likes it(he was caught in Ashley Madison leak after she said that). Because celebrities talk about it, one of my friends were talking about getting an extra stich so their man would still be interested in them after they had kids and through the body changes. Ladies know your worth. Major red flag if your man asks for the stich.
Neither me or my husband asked for this. But when I say that I can tell there were extra stitches that shouldn't have been there it's an understatement. The one side is further stitched up than the other side. Leaving any movement to pull and feel like I'm tearing 3 years after giving birth. Idk what they did when they were stitching me up, if it was an honest mistake or this was indeed a husband stitch. But I honestly feel bad for anyone else who has had to go through this.
Please consider seeing a plastic surgeon to get a repair. It is doable and though the healing period is not fun, it is worth it. I suggest plastic surgeon only due to the age of the scarring. I am so sorry this happened.
If one side was more stitched than the other side, it's possible your labia tore. Mine did, and there's a noticable difference in the two sides from healing, that there wasn't before. I have some pain from that, but my OB definitely didn't stitch me "tighter", it's just that scar tissue hurts sometimes
I’m so sorry. Unfortunately it’s very common to have pain after a peri repair, especially if you needed stitches in more than one area. If you had been pushing for awhile or in labour for a long time everything can get very swollen making the repair much harder. If the skin isn’t joined together correctly or a stitch comes lose the edges don’t heal correctly and can form lumpy scar tissue. Have you talked to your doctor? They can cut out scar tissue and ‘repair the repair’.
I did not get the husband stitch, but I did get really weird scar tissue build up and had to have surgery to fix it. You might want to talk to your doctor.
My husband laughingly said as my doctor was stitching me up ,”Throw an extra stitch in there doc!” 😮 My awesome doctor replied to him, “Real men ask me to leave the stitches out!” 😂
My ex's second wife's nurse told him, when he asked the doctor to tighten her up, "a real man wouldn't need that." He said they put him in his place and he didn't say anymore. So funny!
When my son was born, my ex-wife leaned up and asked the Dr if there was any tearing, he said slightly. Her reply was put in a couple extra stitches for him and looked at me. I just clenched my eyes and shook my head as I looked down. The Dr, nurses and student nurses that came in to watch all just laughed. All I was concerned with was her and our son being ok. Even as a joke, it's the most stupid thing I've ever heard.
Exactly he wants her to have kids but won't accept the consequences on giving birth on women ,basically she's just a tool to him ,that's sad ,SOME men are just contradictory, women are women but can't come with women's characteristics?tf
@@wolf2966 Yes I would divorce someone if he was stupid enough to believe that a stitch would make me tighter and wouldn’t dare risk reproducing with a moron. And if you think that a stitch will make a woman tighter I highly recommend you educate yourself because you are about as bright as a brick.
I overheard my neighbor telling my husband he asked for an extra stitch or two after his wife gave birth to their first child. I went off on him. If you don't know how to use what you were given, that's not your wife's fault, it's yours. 🤬😡😤
@eileenmcdonald1599 not many women know what that stich is they tell us it's for both the man and women and she'll feel more pleasure also manipulation and mental abuse is a thing
They don't necessarily deserve better. They need to CHOOSE better partners. Having sex is a choice. Having a child is a choice. Letting a man inside you is a choice.
@@PipeHitter126or maybe the guy should be taught from day one women aren't their sex dolls. That stitch should mean instant divorce because if a guy even remotely thinks that ik....he needs to go. Any guy that even remotely thinks that stitch is what they have the right to ask for needs to be single. Sure have the talk, but having raised 3 sons, I can assure you we've never had to talk about the husband stitch and when they heard about it they were appalled..because they're normal, rational humans who know no other human is at their disposal to do whatever they want with.
I did a clinical rotation in OBGYN and after a young lady gave birth, the husband said “excuse me doctor can you give an extra stitch” all while clinching his fist tight. I’ll never forget the doctor looked him in the eye and said “sir you’re an asshole, I’ll do an extra stitch, if you can grow one more inch”
I believe this is what I had with our first child. It was so painful, it hurt to sit down. 2 months later I begged my Dr to stretch the stitches. While it was better, sex was always painful! 3 years later I ripped with #2 and the relief was amazing. They stitched me up wonderfully. But that extra stitch was so painful I still remember the pain 21 years later.
@@angelofknowledge9389 It is more probable that it was not done on purpose and just a doctor who wasn't very good at sutures. Not every one heals the same and scar tissue can be unpredictable. My stretch marks are not matched up on my C-section scar. I asked the doc what was up with that and he told me the skin was in different condition at the time and it was kind of like trying to stitch up jelly... My tummy was really smooshy for a while.
When I gave birth to my first son(40 years ago) the person stitching me, asked my husband how do you want it, my husband replied just the way it is. Then he asked if there was someone else to stitch me.
He asked the husband how he wanted the wife's vagina!? The fuck is wrong with people!? Wholey crap! I can promise I would've got an assault charge for kicking the shit out of that doctor if that's what he woulda asked while i was laying on the bed getting stitched up after birthing a whole ass human!
My sister-in-law had her husband say she needed that. My husband told him he needs to grow up. And that it is never actually needed, that if he had a brain, he would know it tightens back up on it's own.
As a obs nurse I replied with “only men with tiny dicks ask for this…”. And I’m not really proud of this response but it sure shut them up. There weren’t a lot of men who asked for this. Most were lovely and supportive partners during labour and delivery, asking how they could help and really pulling through. Only a few dudes were crappy.
You'd be scared and hurt so much that you would not want to have a sexual relationship after that question was asked. Imagine that before you try to crack a joke or are actually really thinking about your wife being "ruined " 😢really terrible way to be
The head space is its our vagina not just yours. If you want us to go down there then we dont want to see a calves liver when we get there. Get over yourselves.
As someone who’s chronically online, Ive learned how horrible men are. People who say Im crazy dont realize you dont know things things about men unless you go on the internet. Men dont say these things in daily, irl conversations.
So, us women actually aren't supposed to tear or need stitches when it comes to childbirth. In fact, we aren't supposed to give birth on our backs. This is why home births are becoming more popular. But if you're worried about health complications, there are buildings called Birthing Centers, and they provide medical emergency services as well. They just don't rush moms giving birth like how hospitals do.
This happened to my mom in the 90’s when I was born. As an adult we have very real and candid conversations with each other, and she told me that after I was born, sex became very painful for her. She couldn’t understand why and it eventually let to her not wanting to have sex and my father left her. Years later she found out from a new GYN that it appeared that she had been stitched too much after giving birth and they were able to correct the issue. My dad is an asshole so who knows if he requested this or not, but I wouldn’t put it past him. He’s now 63 dating a 19 year old so you do the math.
@@Oliverthehoundbut! Now her daughter knows what to look out for when she has her own kids! Sometimes being open and honest with your children can help them.
@@eveningstar8581 I do see your point. I suppose it comes down to how your raised. I could not imagine my mom and I having a conversation about her sex life or God forbid mine! Lol...
My ex asked for this with my second my female doctor in medical terms said she’s actually unusually small and so you must just be inadequate down there never laughed so hard
A work colleague asked his wifes doctor for the husband stitch and told us about it. I asked if his genitalia was that small that he needed it. Never heard that story out of him again, strangely enough....
This happened to me in 2016. Neither my husband nor I were informed of this until my 6 week post partum checkup. I was told by the obgyn that he added an extra stitch to make sure everything was tight. I didnt realise the implication of this until we tried to be intimate and the pain was unimaginable. My stitches had also become infected and healed unevenly which didnt help the pain at all. I wish he had asked permission first.
I love your small pause after you say “if your husband ever asks for this…” while you mentally filter thru all the rage and find a way to be honest, yet also supportive and non-judgemental, to the women that need to hear it.
My mom was a labor and delivery nurse for 30 years and whenever a man asked for / about the "husband stitch" she always turned it around on them by looking down at their crotch and saying "Aww, it is that small that you need one?" Shut the men up, real quick!
Unfortunately i was a victim. After a forcep delivery my stupid doctor told me he was sewing me tighter for my husband, i was still under some anesthesia so i couln't protest. (Husband was not in the room) Those stitches made me so tight that i was in pain for almost a year.
@@pedroquiver9489but I’d does actually happen. Obviously you’re not a woman so you wouldn’t understand it. Sometimes these “men” need to be put in their place.
I can't say this enough... Kudos to all the moms who pushed a baby out!! I had 2 c-sections. Personally I didn't think c-sections were that bad! Every body is different! What a woman's body can do is incredible ❤
I explained to my husband what it was when talking about all things childbirth and how he can support me and protect me if I do not have the capacity to speak, and he was appalled. I love him to death!
Same here. My husband had no clue what it was and was absolutely disgusted when i explained it to him and agreed to throw hands on my behalf if it's as much as mentioned lol
This makes me even more angry thay my partner wasn't there when I gave birth. What if something were to happen and I wasn't able to advocate for myself. He's trash.
@@reyfin4922 so sorry to hear you didn't have the appropriate support 😔 we need to instil respect for women and childbirth in the next generation, not neglect like too many men in our generation have
Why is a tiny stitch to make your vagina tighter appalling? Nobody seems to be appalled by implants in breasts or a facelift when you have jowls in your 60s or Botox for those lines in your for head. Give me a break.
@@reyfin4922I hope you mean ex partner💚
In 1992 & in 1994 my OBGYN told the Nurse or PA stitching me up to absolutely DO NOT do the husband stitch. He checked oit the baby, then came back and watched the last few stitches to be certain his orders were followed.
I was told that the husband stitch was the "normal habit" of all the medical staff he worked with throughout his time in practice in various places. Im so glad he went to bat for me!!
My god! It shouldn't be so damn difficult for a woman's wishes to be honored!
It's so hard to be intimate after birth anyway, why on earth would this be normal practice? Things are dry and hormonal and it's just all around painful, and that was after a c section, I didn't even have to push him out or be torn and stitched back up!
A male doctor actually caring about the well-being of his female patients is so wholesome. I teared up reading this.
@@Shield954Wrong, it's just his job.
What 😧
My ex husband asked my doctor to do that. And my doctor said your wife doesn’t have a problem there. Apparently the problem is with you. And began to ignore him! Rip he was a great Gyno doctor 😢
Thank god he's an ex husband now.
Thank God for such an amazing doctor And man👏
witty truth.
Awww way to go doc🥹🥳
@@therizztitan ugh yeah he’s AWFUL 🤣 LOL 😂
So precious that after carrying your child for 9 months and going through the pain and trauma of childbirth, that there’s men out there that have this as their first thought.
It was probably in their brain from the moment they heard you were pregnant
@@JoeMama-zk2bm Man, being an incel ain't it. Quit looking at P and try praising God or smth, idk.
Ppl are selfish, I’d say it’s a joke most of the time and men like to be funny in stressful situations like watching your s/o give birth. I could be wrong tho so who knows. I just know I’d make a joke in the hospital room cuz jokes make me feel less stressed and that would be a situation I’d be rly stressed in
@@JoeMama-zk2bm A "Husband stitch" can make it painful for the wife. If you want something that small. Find an old Victorian keyhole, or is that still too big for you?
@@brewsterbrandon9554 Stressful for the husband? try the wife. She just pushed out a new life. Face it, OBGYNs are sick of this "Joke." it dehumanizes the wife.
I had a friend who was an older widow. She went in for bladder surgery, and her doctor tightened things up for her. She was livid!!!! He got into trouble for doing that with his surgeries as an 'added bonus'.
Bladder surgeries often involve repositioning. To do this they place sutures in the vagina and attach them to a pelvic ligament to create a sling which holds the bladder in place. I don’t think the Dr. was being nefarious, flippant maybe when discussing the possible outcomes of the procedure. Hope your friend is doing better ❤
@@Dweebagethey literally said he got in trouble for doing it. that means it was investigated and found to be unethical and unnecessary
Oh my god, women can't even get surgery for other organs without having to worry about the doctor mutilating their genitals. I hope she SUED for medical malpractice. What he did is sexual assault.
@@Dweebageppl will do anything to discredit a the woman and dedent the man in a story that has even nothing to do with them where they don't know even half of the details. It's honestly getting pathetic
@@DweebageAre you a urologist? An obgyn? A surgeon? Then zip it. You're just outing yourself as the misogynist you are
I got it
.. may 2020. I didnt realize what the doctor meant. But she put 1 extra stitch in to make me tighter. I only needed 1- very small tear. That 2nd stitch actually got infected and i had severe nerve issues, had to get physical therapy to stretch it and desensitized it
that’s so horrible i’m so sorry you went through that ☹️
Jeeeezus I’m so sorry.
Omg no. I'm sorry that happened to you
I hate that you went through that. If you still have issues, please contact a certified midwife for help. Even though it has been this long, there are treatments. Again, I’m sorry. You deserve better.
Please see what the statute of limitations is on something like this where you are! If you can, sue the bejeeus out of that doctor!
A family friend was telling me recently about how a doctor gave his ex wife this procedure without informing them prior. The woman ended up with so much scar tissue that it ended up making sex unbearable. It is barbaric and anyone doing this needs to go to prison.
That's a lawsuit
I’ve heard women say this toooo
The only scar tissue would be from the rear itself, so if the tear was just really big and they had to stitch a ton then that’s what made the sex difficult, not the stitch. People always assume doctors just do things like that without telling anyone but no one else is looking at how many stitches are truly needed, sometimes an extra stitch is necessary because there’s still too much tissue unconnected. And also the only thing an extra stitch would do is make the vagina skin on the outside slightly tighter, not the inside.
@@alilih3652wrong. The extra Stitch definetly leads to more scare tissue. Its one of the reasons why Its so barbaric
@@alilih3652no mate, scar tissue isn’t built up from a regular wound unless it was infected and had to be stitched, or they added way to many stitches.
As a man, i firmly believe that if your husband, significant other, boyfriend, whatever asks for the "husband stitch" you need to get the hell out of there. I can promise you he doesn't care about you beyond you being his personal property.
You don't say 😉
Exactly.
Oh but that's what the feminists chase
I'd like to add nuance: if my husband asked me if it was okay, I would ask him if he knew what it was. If he did not, I would explain with as little bias as possible, but with great emphasis on the side effects (general pain and pain from sex, etc.). Some guys likely don't know and probably parrot what other men tell them online. However, if he's adamant that it gets done in spite of all of the pain, I would consider leaving the marriage.
You are so correct
I was given a husband stitch after my first baby in 2012 by a female obgyn. Neither me nor my husband knew or consented to this. Sex was hell afterwards. My husband asked if it was supposed to be like this and that's when the penny dropped what the obgyn had done to me. When I had my second baby two years later, I had a very very minor tear. I refused to be stitched and things have been normal and healthy ever since. This sh1t needs to stop
It doesn’t really happen anymore. You should learn that instead of being aimlessly angry. Feminist just reallllly want to cry about something
I’m so sorry that happened to you. Glad you’re ok now.
@@kacileigh6112girl tf are u talking about. it happened 💀
@@kacileigh6112wtf, it HAPPENED to her without her or her husbands consent. Did you not read it?? Just cause it doesn’t happen as often doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen at all. She has every right to be mad.
@@kacileigh6112what?
“How small do you need it” is an excellent clap back at such request 😂
Feel like this could backfire lol
Yea but hearing that as the patient laying there helplessly in bed as you talk over them about what you’re going to do with their body??
I think the best thing to do would be to remove him from the room and ask the women if she feels safe going home with him
@@alisonishere714 this
A doctor did ask how small he needed it. Then refused.
This is female genital mutilation and no one can change my mind.
Also, how can this possibly lead to better sex if the woman is in pain the whole time??
better sex /for the man/. bc of course that’s the only thing that matters 🙄
It is mutilation, nothing more nothing less, it's some BS power move by those who hate women and what they have between their thighs. I can only dream this lead to a plethora of doctors and husbands getting unalived back in the day.
Well the husband doesn't care if she's enjoying it or in extreme pain during sex....
@@kylaarmstrong-benjamin8066oh lord i hope that’s not the case in your house. some people are so evil.
Mutilation was my first thought as well. Medical professionals should not be able to practice if they do this.
My midwife did this to me without my consent after I had my daughter. I had no pain medication, the whole thing took like half an hour when I was trying to focus on my new baby. And for about a year+ afterwords sex was pretty much a no go because of the pain. Anyone who does this, should be fired and sued. It nearly ruined my life.
Do better, good try blaming someone else for your kid.
Let me guess, single mom now?
@@shanesayre4981 you try going through a literally scarring experience brought upon by "professionals" you were supposed to be able to trust. It's medical abuse, pure and simple. And you sound like an incel who knows nothing about what you are talking about. I was sharing a horrible experience I went through, on a video it's relevant to. You, are just a troll.
@@shanesayre4981 dont b a hater!
@@shanesayre4981 Oh look, everyone! An incel neck beard who lacks basic comprehension skills. So adorable. 😂 What an asshat.
@@shanesayre4981Do you enjoy being pathetic or is that just a happening for you?
My vagina was stitched 3 stitches closed from the perineum. Needed surgery to fix it. My husband was not a part of this and my OBGYN was a woman in practice for decades. She told me before beginning my repair:
“You’re gonna be SO glad I did this!”
I wasn’t.
This mind set is systematic. Being a female obygyn does not mean these archaic mentalities about this are not deeply ingrained in spite of progressive medical training.
@@c.l.888 The husband stitch defies nature. It’s not a restoration, but a mutilation. It can cause extreme pain in women, tearing, bleeding, and lack of any sexual enjoyment. It can cause frequent infections, and general day-to-day discomfort. The vagina does not need to be stitched tighter at the opening to improve tightness. The vagina is a muscles essentially and tension can be restored with therapy and strengthening if its lost. Plus-just tightening the opening isn’t very effective because it’s inside that matters more. This stitching is devastating to women. Some experience excruciating pain until they tear again with the next baby. No good husband is okay with pleasuring himself at the cost of his wife’s well being.
@@amarahsrabbitry1073thank you for the explanation. I’d never heard of this before and it makes me SO angry
It's quite disappointing that a woman would even suggest that.
@@amarahsrabbitry1073 thanks for answering all the questions that she left hanging in the air in this video
Had a female dr do this to me. I was in sooooo much pain for months & was so confused. "It's normal" Finally went to an urgent care and they told me.
Pls tell me u sued
Lmao an urgent care is not going to tell you you had a “husband stitch”. What urgent care are you going to? A normal urgent care would tell you to follow up with your OBGYN and not make any stupid comments. At my urgent care we prescribe ibuprofen because people think it’s better than what you can get at the actual dollar store. Urgent cares are a joke.
Can you have that reversed???
This makes me feel not so alone, same thing happened to me after my episiotomy.
I'm so sorry that happened to you!
My doctor literally looked at my husband, as he was stitching me before the numbing had kicked in, and said he was adding an extra stitch for him. I have never felt more vulnerable and abused.
i am so sorry. i hope you sue and get away from your husband
@@bemosk16 , it was a very long time ago. I didn’t always know how to advocate for myself. Sadly, he’s also the doctor that caused my infection that had many long-term effects.
My husband passed almost three years ago. Sadly, that’s what it took for me to be free. I loved him so much, but I also know how abusive and flawed he was.
I’ve learned a lot, and those things would never happen again.
Thanks for your kind words. 💕
Wow. I am so sorry 🫂.
Your story sounds like mine. My narcissist husband passed 2 years ago. Life lessons learned with no internet and people didn't talk about these things.
@@kzf8978 , yes!! I was so lost and silent for so long. I didn’t know what was happening to me. Once I put it all together I started fighting back. Hard. I only wish I had known so much sooner. But that’s life, I suppose. Glad I’m free and happy now.
A resident stitched me up and all the sudden I hear my doctor go why did you do that!? Why would you do that!? We don’t do that…pretty sure the resident went up an extra stitch. But so glad my lovely doctor had no problem sticking up for the patient no matter what. My doc passed away. She was a lovely woman. I was honored to have such a kind and caring person deliver my baby.
Did your dr end up taking out the extra stitch?
I have no idea but she was VERY upset with her. She was the most calm doc I’ve seen…I never saw her that upset!
I'm extremely thankful my husband immediately rejected the idea when my doctor brought this up after I had given birth to our son. Said he was more worried about the recovery and would sue if an extra stitch was given. Grateful for the man I chose, and I really wish everyone has someone to care for them like this ❤️
that's amazing! there are good men out there, and this comment gave me a bit of hope amidst the horror stories in this comment section. ♡
Oh my God! I hope you reported that doctor. So sorry to hear that, I’m glad you have someone like him with you! ❤
The fact they asked HIM and not YOU, THE ACTUAL PATIENT, is HORRIFYING
your doctor brought it up 😰 I hope they're not your doctor anymore. Offering a husband stich even if it's just as a "joke" is a huge red flag, that doctor should not be allowed to get near female genitals in any context.
@rosemiyuki98 yea, could just simply conduct a professional & transparent technical consult in front of both parties. It's an option. Get consent.
My husband is an o.r. tech. Usually present for deliveries in case there's an emergency C-section. He was in a vaginal delivery and heard the husband ask for the husband stitch. The mother agreed and the doctor did it. My husband just glared at the husband for being a disgusting human being. If immediately after giving birth your husband is thinking about sex instead of caring for you and your child together... Then maybe he's not a good person.
Then DEFINITELY he is not a good person
Oooh OR tech wives in tha house! Lol
Well it was probably thought of beforehand & if it’s going to get done, then that’s the time to do it. Doesn’t make him a bad person.
@@SouthernBelle67yes it does???
@@SouthernBelle67 it absolutely 10000000% makes him a horrible person because there is ZERO medical efficacy of extra stitches down there and in fact it is contraindicated in patients. So asking the Dr to do something to your wife who just gave birth that is actually bad for her and will actually make recovery worse for her and could permanently cause damage, pain, and discomfort is a horrific thing to do. Any man who brings this up is not someone who gives a shit about his partners wellbeing, and is also someone who is sorely miseducated on a woman's body, and is also someone who is insanely selfish and misogynistic. If he cares so much about how s3x feels for him, he should worry about enlarging his pen!s then if he feels it's too small for him. When she's giving birth is not the time to be thinking about s3x, it's the time to be thinking about parenthood and the child who was just born who should now be his responsibility. He should be focused on that. She will need time to recover, a woman's body takes 1-2 years to recover and go back to normal after pregnancy & birth, if he gives an iota of a damn about his partner as a human being he wouldn't be thinking about s3x and his own selfish pleasure while she's giving birth, or try to take advantage of that time as an "opportunity", only to maime and disfigure her body parts! The vaginal canal itself is a muscle and can contract and and relax, the opening itself is not the same as the canal itself so if you ever would open a biology book you'd understand the difference. I'm sick of the ignorance tbh.
Happened to my boss. Her husband “joked” about adding an extra stitch for him. The doctor did it. She had to go back to a different doctor almost a year later bcuz of all the pain. They found out he added three extra stitches and had turned into a rope like texture from the scar tissue. As soon as they removed the extra stitches and it healed she said it was such a relief.
Eww not something for the husband to joke about, especially not during the labor.
Sounds like a form of medical torture
@@LammasDelugemen can be disgusting. I’ll never forget the Dr who asked the father “What would you like? Medium? Tight?” The father laughed and said “It’s like throwing a sausage down a hallway”. The father had been married before and had another child, this was the first birth for this woman, and her husband says this 10 mins after she gave birth.
I’ll also add, it was a very very bad joke. The Dr didn’t put in extra stitches, I was watching him like a hawk. I also got him to explain he was joking and any extra stitches would make things worse. This was over 25 years ago, I think many Drs have made the same bad joke, which made women believe they had a husband stitch. Unfortunately painful sex and scaring is common after peri repair.
She needs a divorce.
That’s not something she should take lightly. Has that pig ever thought that maybe his penis is too thin and small for her vagina?
A vagina is a muscular tube able to snap back to shape even after birth. Why is it our job to grip your fucking dicks when you don’t even have enough penis to fill the hole?! I feel so angry for any woman who had to go through a husband stitch
@@JCHK.this is such a lie xD
Imagine the amount of entitlement it takes to secretly request and have performed a modification to your wife’s body without consulting her or considering her well-being.
The wife should recognize their husband is this sinister long before becoming a married couple.
That part 💯💯💯, like this is really mind boggling!!
@@Jake38nine
Blaming the victim, huh?
@@ChiliCat..Encouraging women to be more responsible with their choices is not victim blaming. It's actually empowering. Nothing is empowering about a woman choosing a man blindly and not knowing his true behavior, thoughts, amd feelings. Communicate better. Be more skeptical. Ask more questions. Pay attention more. I've rejected women from having sex with me because I paid enough attention to their behavior to have skepticism enough to not take the risk because their intentions were not pure and good. All within a month of dating them. Quit feeling sorry for people and enabling them. Blaming the husband won't stop the woman from making the same mistakes again. You've gotta hold women responsible for their choices. Because guess what? If she had chosen better and been more skeptical in the beginning, she wouldn't have this issue now. Prevention over cure.
@@Jake38nine Absolutely victim blaming regardless of how you wrap it. There is no way to know everything about a person so blaming them for not knowing something is accusatory and ridiculous. You just want her to be at fault. Own it.
Imagine creating and birthing your husbands child and the first thing he is worried about is your vagina being tight again 😭😭😭 I wouldn’t be the only one in a hospital bed that day
I'm so glad that mine is educated on the fact that the vagina is a muscle a chance to go back to similar tightness levels after healing
@@ivanaparty85Me too,i talked with my partner about this and he has totally different mentality, even about giving birth...he told me that womens body need much time to recover after giving birth, since takes 9 months to give birth our body needs 1 year to heal good,but 9 months for sure since our body goes through much in that 9 months.
It’s actually a blessing because you know he’s a duche before you sign the birth certificate
Came to say exactly this.... literally are present for the birth of your child and the first concern, when the practiconer is helping to reconstruct the mother for recovery is to ask for a upgrade to the "quality" of the vagina, for sex? When especially you shouldn't even have sex for at least 4 weeks, the ultimate minimum??? fucking hell..........and I say update cus the husband stitch is the extra stitch to make it tighter than before....
@@blackhillstribeis it tho? Cus then you've already created, albeit a beautiful child, but a permanent connection to the said douche
If your husband is asking for that, don’t do a “husband stitch” do a husband switch
this comment is 🥇🏆🥇🏆
husband ditch for the win
How about just have a very serious conversation with the husband, instead of having a child from a broken home.
@@mystdragon8530 the home is gonna be a hell of a lot more broken with a child raised by a man who wanted to mutilate his partner for sexual pleasure--what is that kind of person going to do around a child, who he can legally smack around? Like it really isn't worth talking through that one. It doesn't matter whether there is one parent or they're divorced, it matters whether the parents are trash or fighting with each other.
@@mystdragon8530if he takes smth so serious this stupidly, he isn't worthy of raising a kid
Her last sentence there . . . it's because she's a doctor! Bless her.
I am a lawyer. I advise you to file for divorce. A man who would ignore his wife's bodily autonomy and choice, and disrespect her humanity in this most vulnerable and sacred of moments does not regard her as his equal, partner, or friend. He sees her as an object for his use. Every woman deserves better!
And as other comments have noted: sue the pants off the doctor. In the U.S. you'd go to another doctor to be examined so that the medical malpractice can be documented (you *need* documentation). Think about how that money will help you and your child, and don't hesitate.
I have a question, since you're a lawyer and I'm at the first year of med school. How can a patient AVOID that in the first place? Would a written something do anything at all? (For example, we were taught that Geova's Witnesses can have something in their wallets to identify them as they refuse blood transfusions, so that a doctor doesn't practice that on accident. What do you think? What could anyone do to prevent this horrible thing from happening?
It's damned HARD to sue for medical malpractice. You LITERALLY have to lose a life or limb in order to sue. At least in the state of Oklahoma.
You're absolutely right, any man concerned with the husband stitch isn't worth his weight in oxygen- let alone time. File for divorce and get the heck out while you still can.
Especially scary when you consider that husbands have the power over extreme, and immediate life/death medical decisions of the woman.
He could tell the doctors to pull the plug and then explain why it had to be to her grieving loved ones, and then get remarried 6mo later
It’s terrifying, and lethal
You have no idea how much I appreciate this information
The father of my sons asked my OB to “put an extra stitch in” while I was being sewn up after the birth of my twins (He’s my ex for lots of reasons like that). “I’m sorry you need one,”my OB replied. He never missed a beat, never missed a stitch - and I was the one who got the wink. Shout out to Dr. K. I still love that man to pieces. 🙂💜
Love that 😂
Whyd you have sex with him in the first place? These behaviors are quite obvious before you have sex. Unless you only knew him for like a month. You chose to have sex with him. Women need to be more responsible with their choices of men in bed. If you take responsibility, guess what? You wouldn't have had to deal with any of that in the first place. Prevention is much better than curing something that is prevalent. It's better to think abd take care of yourself before anyone else. You wouldn't let someone in your house who wants to lock you in it, so why would you let someone in your hole who wants to lock it up tighter for themselves? Taking responsibility for your own choices is the most encouraging thing you can do.
I've rejected women from having sex with me because they didn't align with my values or they were SA'ing me from the moment I met them. Self-awareness, accountability, and awareness of your surroundings is key.
@@Jake38nine nope. Women DON’T always know who they’re sleeping with. People can start showing their true colors MONTHS after marriage. Once they’re married they feel more comfortable with showing their true colors. Because they think they got them.
@@laurayarbrough4646 Then those women are not communicating enough, asking enough questions, and aren't skeptical enough from the very beginning of the relationship. Don't let butterflies control you or your entire relationship. Be rational, think outside of your own self, be insightful, put yourself first, and ask questions and pay attention to behavior. There are always tells to someone being toxic and lying to you. If you miss those tells, you are too blind by loneliness, desperation, and butterflies.
I knew a girl for less than a month when she was sexually harassing me and it lead her to sexually assaulting me, I was slightly confused, but I also knew the consequences of having sex with her could be like, which would be false allegations, and I rejected her when she pressured me into having sex with her. I never initiated anything with her. She was always the one trying to initiate things with me. You have to be self-aware and insightful to the bigger picture. You can't only think of what's happening in that moment. Because your choices habe consequences and there's always signs of toxic behavior. This girl went on to be homeless and dating a pedo. I dodged a bullet. You could too. Quit living life as a victim. You don't get to the point of a "husband stitch" without red flags slapping you in the face for months to years. It is not an immediate thing like someone stabbing you. There are always signs of manipulation, lying, misogyny, and toxicity. Most people choose to be blind to them so they aren't lonely in life because society peer pressures people and shames people for not being in relationships or not having sex. You have to stop following society and peer pressure. Think for yourself and only yourself. Victimizing yourself gives you zero empowerment.
@@Jake38nineyou sound like you’re from 1949. haven’t we progressed as humans past this primitive level of thinking?
My husband made me feel better about my tearing. I tore my labia horribly and it took an hour to stitch me back up. He said everything still feels wonderful and honestly our bodies tighten back up on their own. He said that it brought his son into the world! And it is wonderful to him.
WHOLESOME
Have had many children naturally and still as tight as I always was. Like any muscle you can strengthen the ones in your v.
Great Husband ❤and glad I have a wonderful husband and it's crazy how common these issues still going on today 😮
My husband was exactly the same! Absolutely appalled by the husband stitch and equally confused. I'm 8 months pregnant with baby #4 and he insists that everything naturally returns to normal in the following months after birth. He has always been honest with me and he would tell me the truth 😊
@@kaelabelle4886this almost makes me cry for some reason. i think my partner would tell me the truth too and i believe him if he says smtg i feel weird about is fine. this is the guy who said my hat (fresh out of an attic box) smelled like fish socks LOL sooo
Imagine the roles were reversed and whenever men went in for life saving surgery they were automatically given penis enlargement surgery and subdermal implants without their knowledge leading to pain and complications
@@kiabellie4987 obviously that’s more literally comparable, but it’s very obviously not what they are talking about. Men usually want larger penises.
@@kiabellie4987 no because the point is it's for their partners pleasures at any expense
@@kinkydaddy3147technically though a smaller penis would be more pleasurable. the average woman's vagina depth is only 3-5 inches. so yeah, imagine if after your husband goes into some sort of major surgery, they decided to shorten him up. he would feel dehumanized. which is how it feels to a woman to be forced a husband stitch. you are dehumanized to just a baby maker and a hole.
@@kinkydaddy3147 Exactly, most women would NOT want a comically large penis the way some men want a comically small vagina on their partner. Men want that for themselves and their ego🤦♀️ It's not a good comparison because too many men's reaction to reading this would be 'Hell yeah I would thank the doctor!'
Penis enlargement you say 🤔 I’ll take the risk
Had a midwife look at the father and say, "I assume you're wanting this because you haven't got much in the way of equipment. Sorry, no can do."
Mic drop moment!!!
YES! GIRL POWER MAN!
😂😂😂 its usually them, not us!
If you're cheering on insulting someone you chose to be with, let inside you, and/or marry, you're irresponsible and make terrible decisions in your life. You should choose better so you don't have to cheer insulting someone you're supposed to love. That's just toxic. Choose better. Take more responsibility.
My first OBGYN did this to me. He was later sued and had is license revoked.
@@nathanabner4524 Unless you were this woman's husband or doctor, you don't know anything... Sadly, the husband stitch is more common than you think. Even if she is lying, who cares? It doesn't effect you
@@drivernymph doubt it
Liar
@@drivernymph
It's a myth. Sorry you were dumb enough to fall for it.
@@Kommander_Rahnnsays you😂
Where I worked, a doc would say , " are your bits too small ? Is that why u want it tighter? " whenever a husband requested it to be stitched tight 😂. Loved seeing their faces turn red with embarrassment after her comment 😂
“Ok, sir. How small do you need it?”
That's exactly what I was looking for, someone saying, "she will naturally shrink, but how small are you?" But your doctors are so much better.
Oh did ya now... you taking alot of wholeass Baby sized ccks..? Lofl
That's the correct response.
Basically said "small peepee energy 💅🏼"
My wife had a c section. But after seeing her go through a brutal and dangerous pregnancy with premature twins and pre-eclampsia, the last thing on my mind was sex. I was just happy to have my wife and two beautiful children in my arms. Some guys are just clueless
And that's how it should be. I hope you and your family are doing well, thanks for this wonderful comment
Same! I just wanted my wife to be ok at the end of it. I hope all it well with you and your family!
Yes thank you! Me and the wife and the kids are great!
God bless you!
❤ hope all of you are happy and healthy
This is what happened to my mom in 1974. It ruined her life. It was so painful. She just couldn't have sex. She would cry in pure agony. In her forties, she when to her OB/Gyn seeking a hysterectomy, the doctor knew right away, and while she was under for her hysterectomy, the doctor cut her free, essentially.
That’s so sad that she had to go through that :( Did she still have pain after the doctor noticed and undid the stitch?
@maxlosergor7165 Yes, it eventually loosed enough that she could have sex, but the trauma from many year of pain was hard to overcome, so she really spent the best years of her life scared of intercourse.
And this is exactly why it's unethical and misogynistic to do that to patients
Happened to me, too. I had it reversed as soon as possible - sex was impossible! The doctor suggested it & I was dumb enough to go for it. SMH. ( My husband is not a small size,, LoL) That was for my first baby- I had over 100 stitches. My second baby- I had 140 stitches,, I made sure to be stitched up to my original size, had no problems at all. The woman's body has an amazing ability to heal after having a baby. Tearing tho, is entirely avoidable with an episiotomy. It's scar tissue from tearing that can cause problems. I knew that my baby was too big, and I was too small. My OB/ GYN knew to give me an episiotomy BEFORE I tore. My sister was not so lucky, and had to have husband stitching way after the fact. Anyways,, be careful ladies.
@@user-eo5mc4jx2x 140? The average number of stitches for a 3rd degree tear episiotomy is 30.
Mama Doctor Jones said it best when she said to the man "How small do you need it?!?" 😂😂😂
So much truth in your answer and you don't even know it. These women are acting appalled but I've seen a lot on here try to belittle men about penis size.
Men catch way more shit about penis size than women do about tightness.
@@jasonk876 So much truth in your comment. Men catch way more shit from THEIR FELLOW MEN about their size. There, fixed it for ya. I know women aren't that cruel to each other ☕
@@user-nz8gr7em6o Are you saying that women dont do that? Why do you say that?
When I was younger, I've witnessed girls mock guys for that and spread rumors.
You should look up studies and surveys.
Heck, look at the comments and likes on this page. There are several women talking and laughing about penis size.
I'm hesitant to tell my 4th reason, but I have unusually sized anatomy. There have been situations where females have heard that and treated me differently. I've had them pursue in a weird, sexual harassment way. They developed a sexual undertone in their speech and behavior and I'm talking about girls that had not shown interest.
Some girls that I had "encounters" with talked (mocked) about other guys and size. You've never heard women laugh at other guys? Look at the behavior of young girls if you want to see how cruel women can be. Cheerleaders type girl...
Yesterday, we were walking in our neighborhood and saw about 7 girls, from a nearby Bday party. It was a pretty but cool say. They were attractive young teens that dressed like they were trying to get views on TicTok. There was 1 boy. They were talking him into climbing into a subdivision retention pond. He finally did it. They then giggled and convinced him to put his head under. I know that nasty water was very cold. He did, as they ALL recorded him with their phones and laughed. They said things like, "that's a real man". Then they all started laughing and ran away, leaving him.
My 14 yo son is 6', blonde/big blue eyes, quite, polite, thin/ athletic, and better looking than I ever was. My wife is very pretty and he takes his face after her. My wife has always said he looks like a Polo model but he is very quite and shy. He has always had an innocents about him.
He goes to a small private school and has limited exposure. At 14, he has still never talked about a girl. He's a beautiful kid but has no killer instinct. He never gets mad. We sort of worry about him for that reason.
We stood and watched and then we talked to him about it, bc we wanted him to see how manipulative girls can be to boys that try to impress them.
My wife was explaining more than I was, btw!
@@user-nz8gr7em6oAnd females shred other females more than men, in my observation. Think back to high school...
Having a child doesn’t even necessarily always loosen the vagina. It can make the pelvic floor weaker which can be fixed with exercise. Society is such an asshole to moms. Like just because we’re not 19 years old doesn’t mean our 🐱 isn’t purfect😊
It usually does, slightly. That’s ok!
@@hillaryh.5197 They say after vaginally having 3 or more kids it starts to, but the first and second child it goes back to normal. I spoke to my OB about it because I was curious about the claims and shame surrounding it.
@@tayjo1820 nope every vagina is different after the first one it can be loose
@@tayjo1820thanks for sharing this, I’m having my first in a few weeks and this is just one of the many many worries I have 😢
Side note, not just "exercise" but specifically pelvic floor exercises by pelvic floor PT specialists. Having someone just do what they think are kegels isn't necessarily doing it... ❤
Bruh, we tighten back up on our own... So glad I'm with a man who isn't a shitty person. Be very careful who you get pregnant with. Have high emotional standards.
This. Please! Or if it's too late and you're already pregnant, least look at the doctor and tell them if they do it, you'll sue them for everything they're worth.
But also be careful bc oftentimes doctors will decide to do this on their own
Men aren’t shitty people for liking tight vagina’s.. most women don’t like micro penises, either. My husband didn’t ask me to get the stitch but I thought why not. And honestly once you’re all healed after having your baby, it doesn’t make that much of a difference anyways. So who cares about one little tiny stitch? The same people complaining about this would more than likely not give a second thought to cutting their breasts open in shoving implants in there.
@@roselove2983girl that’s your choice with your vagina. who cares.
@@roselove2983Just cause you're lucky doesn't mean all people are .. most women suffer great pain because of this .
Respect other people's suffering, the world doesn't revolve around you and your experiences.
No man on earth deserves that a woman becomes a sexual doll for him no matter how much pain she feels, or oppressed her opinion is ..
Shame on you being a woman and defending such a horrible thing
I had one done after birth, and neither my husband nor I knew. Granted, I had a full episiotomy due to my baby girl’s big a$$ head, but I felt “wrong” weeks later when we finally tried to be intimate and it HURT. I was fully healed “supposedly” and I was in so much pain. My doctor never outright said it when I asked, but he looked at my husband rather pointedly and avoided eye contact with me.
My husband was PISSED. Both for me and for the situation. How it was a violation of my trust, of HIS trust in my doctor’s hands when I was so vulnerable. Took me FOREVER to get comfortable with intimacy again and even now, almost six years later, the discomfort still tears it’s ugly head.
Also I have a new gyno. So there’s that.
I hope you sue him and make him stop this madness….. Nobody deserves this insanity WTF
LAWSUIT with payment FOR RECTIFY surgery.
I am so sorry you went through that. Lots of love.
Straight to jail! But first, go to court
I'm sorry for what happened to you. This was one reason why I only see female doctors. Besides, your hooha recovers and it's usually like you never gave birth to a tiny human.
My doctor did something like this during a hysterectomy. My husband asked him without my knowledge. I nearly died. He cut and narrowed it. I almost bled out. Died 3 times on the table. Did not find out what all he did until several years later from a different gyno. By then 1st dr was dead. Irony- had already filed for divorce from hubby so whatever he thought he was getting he never did.
😮
jfc 😰😰
Sorry that happened! Serious malpractice!
Your husband asked for him to perform genital mutilation on you and your doctor did it. I am so thankful you are divorced from him, but so so sorry you went through that 😮
Holy hell, reading these comments is breaking my heart and infuriating me. I'm so, so sorry to everyone who experienced this. Giving birth is overwhelming enough without this crap. Y'all are crazy strong and any men that think this way dont deserve you or your children. Sending hugs
Calm down, "stackels" 🤣😂🤡
I absolutely HAD to report the person who replied to you that told you to "calm down" with a couple laughing emojis and a clown emoji. Talk about someone with fragile masculinity! I bet he's got a micro🍆 😂😂😂
@@l.c.7955why don't you level up 💀
@@l.c.7955you gotta be 12 😂lol do women a favor and don’t date or get anyone pregnant
Imagine being the clown that replied to this comment that has nothing better the do with their life other than making pitiful comments behind a screen attacking genuinely normal people with normal concerns for others simply because they have nothing better to do with their sad life
Pathetic and laughable
I was the nurse in the delivery room when a dad asked the delivering OB for this "extra stitch." Without missing a beat, the OB (male, btw) looked right at the dad and asked him, "Oh, you NEED that? " Best comeback ever!
The best and most appropriate response 💅🏻
But he made her pregnant? Sounds like a fake story
Niceeeeeeeee lol
But who wouldn’t want it? That doesn’t make sense not to get it.
@@pearpo It's painful and causes issues later, so no one wants it. Also, vaginal muscles can be exercised and become stronger, the muscles should never be tight because that also causes issues and pain.
One of the biggest impediments to me getting treatment in 14 years of chronic illness has been GOOD DOCTORS who don’t believe and can’t conceive of there being BAD DOCTORS or that their “colleagues” could mistreat a patient on purpose.
Yes! Good doctors will also label patients as difficult if we include in our medical history all of the times a doctor has screwed us over.
Yes!
@@lissaharrethat's why there are no good doctors
Ya, it’s a way to disassociate from the abuse. I would love to see what this ob has to say after reading all the comments of women who have been abused in this way. She seems like an excellent physician but never seems to address all the abuses against women that happen often in her field.
@@M155ABYSS ya, it’s been extremely disappointing to not see her engage AT ALL with all the female victims of the thing she blithely says “does not happen”. So invalidating. I expect better from doctors than statements of absolutes that are based on nothing but their singular training experience. It’s NO LONGER taught, and SHOULDN’T ever happen. But she is a baby, there are OBGYNs still practicing who graduated in the 80s, 90s, etc. And what she was trained to do as a female vs. what old men teach young men in the field to do can vary significantly from person to person and program to program.
Doctors who discount the possibility of heinous patient mistreatment are protecting their own ego, not patents.
If my husband every said that to my dr, my husband wouldn't be considered a member of the male species when I got home.
😂😂😂
I thought it was for women that partied hard and had fun throughout their teens and 20’s and now have a guy that isn’t really too gifted.
@@DZE457it doesn't make sense. Actually think about it. You are making the entrance smaller...the part that gives u pleasure is the inside. Why would u make it harder to get inside? No critical thinking 🤦
@@DZE457lmao vaginas do not loosen from use, they loosen from age
@@DZE457 How is partying and female genital mutilation connected? Are you saying that it's okay to mutilate women who like to party?
these replies with personal anecdotes have me FUMING..... im actually red in the face
I’m in tears. This is horrifying.
It is so heart breaking.
Same! Also, I don't know why it hurts more to know that some of these OBGYNs were women!...
It's disturbing how women and girls have no bodily autonomy. There are several states where it's legal for the medical staff to perform non-consensual pelvic exams on female patients while she's unconscious under anesthesia for surgeries that have NOTHING to do with the vagina. Dr. Youn actually responded to this happening to a MINOR who is a virgin. Doctors can do whatever they want to us and no one cares.
Calm yourself. Log off.
Reading all these women go through all that extra stitched assault and trauma makes me literally sick. And we still have some people saying that the medical field is not marred by misogyny and regressive practices.
Agreed. Im literally shocked
WORD! The USA literally has the highest rate of maternal death in childbirth than any other developed nation!! IN THE YEAR 2023!!! It has the best capacity for providing care yet STILL there's this high of death!!
Look at the prenatal, L&D and post partum process for ANY other developed nation and compare it to the USA.
Women get to actually come to hospital/birthing center days before the expected due date and are provided amazing postpartum care too. Women get to actually be taken care of for longer than just the meager few days they are given in the US.
It's just truly heartbreaking, unacceptable and an embarrassment to the USA in my opinion.
It is. For years I've been trying to get my reproductive system examined for endometriosis and I've been gaslit and told "it's just a normal period" and shooed off without proper examination. They just felt around my stomach and refused to refer me to a females doctor for further help.
Many women that have had it say that they now have pain and issues. It is a form of FGM and disgusting. Doctors who do that should be taken to court for FGM and for their licence.
You are invading a woman's very private space she was always told to protect. And in the most vulnerable exposing situation she would absolutely avoid if she weren't giving birth.
Women face so much danger when uncovering their bodies, it's horrific.
I was thinking the same, it’s not the usual form of FGM but it certainly is FGM.
I got in a "heated debate" with an "uneducated" male in our biology lecture in college
We were discussing genitalia anatomy and reproduction including modern birthing processes and someone else asked if the husband stitch was an actual thing which segued into a conversation about GM(male and female)
The offending male proceeded to ask why circumcision was still practiced today, which yes, I see his point, no it's not the same, because it's typically done for medical/hygienic reasons not solely for the pleasure of a bed partner or to "prevent sin"
Circumcision has no adverse effect on sexual function, sensitivity, sexual sensation, or satisfaction
@@samcourts3544Both are wrong....
@@samcourts3544Actually it's mainly done for cultural reasons in America, under the guise of hygiene. Theres no need for it. It's child abuse to do that to a baby and it absolutely does diminish sexual pleasure because the unprotected skin has to toughen up.
@nataliebutler I'm female and do not have a doctorate so maybe I'm misinformed on the subject
But I was taught in like 4th or 5th grade that male circumcision is for medical and hygienic reasons
And then further in depth in later graded about the types of infections males get especially in their first year of life and how the foreskin can be too tight at birth and diminish blood flow causing a plethora of other medical issues leading up to possible penectomy
If he says “hey doc, put in an extra stitch”, reply “yeah, and add an inch to him while you’re at it”
Walking the halls of the hospital I worked at I heard a guy joking about the husband stitch with a friend of his. Dead ass stopped with my cart, looked him up & down and said, so how small did they have to go to make you feel adequate? Their jaws hit the floor, and I left them after saying the only big thing about him was his misogynistic ego and even that was mediocre at best 🙃
We should all be more like this! People don’t evolve if they aren’t pushed. So we should punish the assholes to evolve instead of continuing these patterns!
Fkn LEGEND ❤
exactly
Sure ya did
ATE ❤
After my first child, my doctor (a female) did this. She acted like it was for my own benefit, but turns out it made things painful)... After my second child, my doctor (a male) did not do this. I am grateful for that man.
Shocked that a female doctor did this
@KE-xj9vm Surprisingly women can be assholes too - who knew
Oh, my god I just wrote the same comment. I have the same experience
@@KE-xj9vm yeah but social evils are not limited by gender or any other barriers. Racism as an example is common among most of the cultures across the globe.
@@KE-xj9vmyea women suck...how is that news
They did this to me after my first born son. I was not able to have sex for over six months past the recommended six week wait. It was so painful it was traumatic and my partner was frustrated and i worried about him leaving or cheating on top of taking care of a newborn for the first time. I had regular stitches next baby. The last two were homebirths with an excellent midwife that taught me to just pause during the ring of fire and NOT push. I found that my contractions stopped and gave me chance to rest before pushing the shoulders out gently and this allowed me to not tear!!! Twice my homebirths I did not tear after twice having hospital births were I did and needed to be stitched up!! Also I gave birth squatting at the side of my bed with the last two. I found the screaming wasn’t for the pain but for my diaphragm/muscles to push more effectively. Oversharing in case someone needed to know.
i appreciate the over sharing. it’s baffling to me how we’re in the 21st century yet our medical practitioners (western ones in particular) still don’t know how to deliver babies correctly or how women should recover. obgyns are clueless to a degree that would be unacceptable in any other field.
it STILL baffles me the difference from two hospital births to two home births. I genuinely do NOT believe that people are even remotely aware of how much hospitals amplify our maternal fears for profit. I genuinely do NOT think most interventions in the hospital births are necessary AT ALL!!! At the hospital I had pitocin, epidural, oxygen mask, needed vacuum assistance at the end for both babies as well as having had stitches from being cut. I HAD NONE OF THAT FOR MY HOMEBIRTHS!!!! I even was overdue by a few days past my due dates for both of the second births. First two were born at 37 and 38 weeks, last two were 40 weeks +1 and 40 weeks +3. No complications, totally healthy. I've seen so many women saying they're so grateful they were at the hopsital because of the complications that occured and needed help... but just my own theory is that women are sooo incredibly powerful at manifesting especially while pregnant and vulnerable, our psychic ability is enhanced, I think SOME doctors NOT all, are convincing women that they need certain things and "for the safety of the baby" is being used against us more than everyone wants to admit. @@morighani
I will never understand why hospitals won’t adopt common sense, age old wisdom about giving birth. Oh, it’s easier for the doctors and nurses if the mother is on a bed? Well, too bad! Figure out a way to work WITH the mother, not against her. They make giving birth so much more difficult and scoff at midwives who ~actually~ know what they are doing.
But that ever present fear that your baby might need immediate medical care is hard to overcome. I feel for all the mamas. And I am glad your home births were safe and successful. ❤
Thank you for this, I'm due in February with my first. I have a midwife and had not heard to wait while in the ring of fire
Yup. My mum really got into natural birthing, and the Main points I've heard are don't push just breathe, never on your back, and no pain meds-youll be too tired and baby won't feed properly, which will cause bonding issues
I’m a L&D nurse and have had men ask for this WHILE the doc was sticking up their partner…….I replied “oh I’m so sorry to hear you have that problem” Needless to say, he was quiet after that and the doc high fived me back at the desk. 😂
Liar
Please disregard the imbecilic incel troll who needs to Get A Life!!!🙄🤦♀️
Everybody I know who got it, says it made sex really painful and pretty much ruined their sex life. I don't understand any doctor ever supported it. I'm appalled that it's still happening
I don’t understand why they don’t go to a doctor and see what can be done for them? I had it done with no issues, but I can tell you if I had discomfort I would have definitely gone to see a doctor. Why punish yourself for the rest of your life!?! Very strange..
@@roselove2983The problem sweetie is that lots of women get this without their consent and it's always too tight to the point it makes sex PAINFUL for them. It's never enjoyable anymore and it ruins their sex life. Your case might be different because they probably didn't stitch up high at all. Get this idea out of your head that it's a good thing when many have said it ruined their lives and weren't even asked!!
@@TheOMGRamen well sweetie the problem is you’re statement is baseless. Facts don’t care about your feelings. Most of the people commenting on here are like my friends, cousins, neighbors, sister got the stitch and sex for her was painful.. or I THINK I got an extra stitch because when I had sex it was painful. The reality is it’s not uncommon for women to experience pain after a vaginal delivery in some form or another. I’m simply saying from my own research several OB/GYN‘s have said themselves they believe more often the pain women are experiencing are from other things. Some OB/GYN‘s had even said that they’ve never seen a woman who’s had that procedure done in their entire practice. I’m not saying it doesn’t exist. I’m just saying it doesn’t appear to be very common. We also don’t have scientific data we can site on the subject. If women suspect that having an extra stitch is causing them severe pain in intercourse, why not visit your OB/GYN ask her to examine your perineum and see if your doctor believes that you were not stitched properly. You want to know the side effects of having a tear during labor or an episiotomy: an increase in pain at the incision persistent or increased bleeding, leaking of urine or feces, signs of infection, such as pus, a bad smell, or swelling at the incision site, persistent pain with vaginal intercourse,an inability to use tampons, an increased risk of having to undergo another episiotomy in future births, scar tissue formation, prolapse. So, in conclusion, almost every OB/GYN has stated that it is just not standard or common. Most likely it’s women jumping to conclusions. But if you have an issue and you suspect that this has happened to you and it’s causing issues go see a doctor. from what I understand, they basically cut you and let it heal sometimes with stitches, sometimes without. Have you ever had to so somebody’s vagina that was torn in several different places ranging from many different degrees, do you think that maybe sometimes it just doesn’t heal properly? That’s why we have postnatal care that’s why we have exams, so if there is a problem it can be addressed. Not all doctors are wonderful people, but I’m gonna go out here on a limb and say I don’t think most doctors actually want to hurt women and cause issues for them. All these feminists out here have to turn everything into an attack on women and play the victim. Surgery and stitches are complicated. That’s why we have people go to school for 8 to 10 years to do them. You ever hear about the complications people have when they have cosmetic surgery like a facelifts or breast implants? Or how about complications that people have with back surgery or knee surgery or hip surgery? Do you think these doctors intend for these complications to happen?
@@TheOMGRamenthey never said it was a good thing???
They should really rename it after what it really means… the skinny peepee stitch 😒
My ex husband asked my obgyn for this ....the doctor did it and I cried for weeks after . Was so insulted.
Hope you divorced him soon after 😮
Jeezus f’ I’m so so sorry.
I just don't understand how the husband had any say. You are the patient, and the doctor is your doctor... I thought as a society we got through the whole "the wife is my property" thing 😮💨. I am so sry that happened to you.
glad to hear EX husband because damn...
I think you mistyped, insulted should be assaulted - absolutely not ok and that’s definitely a crime
What we have learned today:
If your husband ever requests this, leave them. Just leave them. Immediately leave them.
If the doctor does this, report them ASAP, see another doctor ASAP and have them remove that stitch ASAP.
This kind of thing is unacceptable.
You don't leave your husband, you talk things over with him, explain your point of view, hear his point of view, and understand each other. That's a marriage. We shouldn't run every time they do something we don't like, same as he shouldn't run every time his wife does things he doesn't like.
Thank you
@@yaniacdiazthat’s good for you. You can do that, but it’s just advice for other women!
Exactly!
@@yaniacdiaz”something we don’t like” we are talking about literal genital mutilation
This happened to me with no one’s consent, including my partner’s. It was so bad that I wasn’t able to have PIV sex until 10 months postpartum. It is so destructive to have control over someone else’s body and to attempt to “improve” it without knowledge or consent. It caused so much trauma in my life. Thankfully, my partner was 90% understanding and caring and helped me heal from a lot of the trauma such that I no longer dissociated from that part of my body.
I left my abusive ex husband 5 years ago, he believed babies stretched you out and made you “too loose”. Every time we thought I was pregnant he’d mention this.
4 1/2 years ago I met my partner, and despite having no plans for another relationship we just clicked. We conceived in January of this year. Imagine my shock when I mentioned my fear he’d not be attracted to me anymore due to this belief and he shook his head and said that no one could honestly believe that.
Get you a real man that values you for you, ladies and gents, don’t put up with this kind of “hidden” abuse!
Men who make jokes about women becoming "loose" need to be reminded that it's just their penis shrinking from a tight vagina
My ex said the same.
See, there are very good men out there. I am thrilled you were able to find a significant other who treats you with respect.
Such a BS myth. Do your leg or arm muscles stay loose and wobbly after you work out and stretch them out? No! Same goes with your pelvic floor muscles!
Just disgusting! I was told that myth...also my a** becomes nonexistent bc that's supposedly what pregnancies do, never mind the changes in the breasts! The whole experience was my birth control after that. Never found someone that I thought would actually care for me and about me during pregnancy and afterwards. Especially considering I would be "high risk" by medical terms. All I can say is, if you a son teach him to be more like that good man you found and teach him to be like the one that you never had but know his partner would deserve. And ofc teach daughters that having a baby doesn't mean your body is worthless and gross!
I was hoping the husband stitch was something given to the husband because he fainted and needed stitches. I'm so disappointed.
It’s a myth
😂😂😂 you and I both 😩
🤣
Same!
@@Lorrddnope so your research
my favorite response to a husband saying “add an extra stitch in there for me!” is “how small do you need it?”
😂
Exactly! It's like "Or maybe the issue is that you're not big enough?". As in maybe NO woman will ever be tight enough for a man of your...."stature". 😂
@@lunaloveless2837🤣🤣
😂😂
Good for you!
If your husband is asking for this, well, you better get a good divorce lawyer😅
I live near multiple military bases and have heard many stories from women over the decades of this being done to them. It's barbaric.
It’s awful. Why military bases, by the way?
Liar
Before ANYONE says male doctors are the only one to do this, a friend of mine just won a court case against her FEMALE obgyn for doing this. The obgyn lost her license to practice and is baned from becoming any form of doctor ever again.
cheers to justice!
Awesome to hear that she got justice and that this OBGYN won’t be doing that to anyone else! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
What exactly happened, did the doctor botch her?
How did she get proof tho??? Was it an immediate thing? It’s been 8 years since mine 😢
@@LiliS319 doing it without consent is medical malpractice and assault
When my sister was getting stitched back up the doctor literally looked at her and said "We have to get you nice and tight for your husband". It was an awful experience for her.
At that point it would feel like sexual assault.
@@rosemiyuki98 it is
That's some Handmaid's Tale stuff
@@RedNymph234 a lot of America is.
That is seriously disgusting!!!! He sounds like a pervert!!
Random but relevant story time!
I had a TAIL down there after my first birth. Literally like a little hamster tail. 😭 My first doctor messed up my stitches up and left some skin dangling.
Thankfully, my second doctor for my next birth fixed me up back to normal after my delivery. ❤ She was so busy and had so many patients and yet, even though we only discussed it ONCE in the first trimester, she remembered on the delivery day that I had wanted it fixed. 😊
You left it blown out and dangling for potentially years?
That's fucked.
Awesome care!!
my then fiancee didn't ask for it..neither did i. the doctor just TOLD us she was going to sew me up tighter as it's "more pleasant" for the husband. I had just delivered a baby, I would do ANYTHING for more attention from my fiancee at that moment. please ladies...DON'T DO IT. I tore all over and battled constant pain and infections.
I will never understand how husband is put first before mom’s health, comfort through healing & safety. I am so sorry you went through this. It’s misogynistic and degrading to be treated like our bodies are only to be enjoyed by men. Forget the person existing in it.
Ya but If the husband stops enjoying sex because you don't care about pleasing him then that's dumb.
@@Tealafulthe fuck?
@@TealafulLogically, yeah, but the hormones are strong. Past trauma, etc. Not everyone is in a good enough place with themselves to see how screwed up that is. 😞
@@chelseabunker2391 Thank you! yes, it's true, even nowadays a woman's strongest power is her body...her b00bs, and what's between her legs matter more than what she feels as a human being. manipulating women is standard practice...our worth only lies in making babies, and men don't see it as the miracle it is...bc it IS a miracle. it's been proven men would die from the pain of child birth. why are we treated like meat?
To have your partner be so selfish and cruel is awful.
As we got to the last few seconds of your short, when you said “If your husband is asking for this…………”, I felt my chest tightening from the anxiety of hearing the same thing I’ve heard so many times: “…. you need to leave him yesterday.” Hearing, instead, “… I’m so sorry. You deserve better.”, I immediately burst into tears. It’s too early for that amount of emotion; I just woke up! 😂❤. But just, thank you for being such a bright spot in my morning.
Not to be that person, but if you're hearing it so often that your chest is tightening up at the words "if your husband treats you like that" then you also absolutely know they're right and you are not doing okay.
Sorry if it seems like the onus is always on you, but you'll never get the better treatment you deserve by staying. Hope you find a safe way out one day 😕
You do deserve better. And a while community exists to help and support you whenever you need it. In an ideal world, your partner would address his attitudes and behaviour... but we don't live in a perfect world, and he clearly hasn't. I hope you manage to escape ❤
I don’t want to be rude but if you’re hearing that you need to leave your husband so often that your chest tightened up at “if your husband asks for this” than you NEED to leave. You do deserve better than that. I hope you’re okay
Maybe, I said Maybe, I’d consider it after my 18th child, but then again, it never seemed to stop him before.
@@ellicooper232318th child I hope you're okay
As a husband I find it wild any man would ask to change his wife like this. I married her, I love her. The vows mean something.
Sadly, that’s the world we live in. Vows mean nothing to most people. 😢
But happy for you both❤
If you and your wife plan to have any (more) children, consider it your duty to make sure her wishes are respected. Some doctors will do it without ANY input.
Most people ignore vows and see each other as a consumable. You're useful until you don't benefit me, then we can split and screw the kids it's all about me... I mean us. Thank you for caring about your wife's changing body.
The vows mean something to you, they mean nothing to her. Slight her ego and you will see that her vows are just wind.
80% of divorces are initiated by women. The vows mean nothing to 80% of women.
My Dr told my so in the delivery room "don't worry i put in an extra stitch for you" at the time i had never heard of the husband stitch
Who the hell are they even to decide that !! It's your body and that discussion should be between u and the doctor not between your husband and your doctor.
sue them
This was done to my mother, rest in peace mum, 56 years ago during childbirth of her seventh. She was warned by another woman that her doc darn nearly stitched her shut. In my mum’s case she said she figured you could not even get something the diameter of a knitting needle in there. Graphic but she made a point. The doc had told her he could make her smaller. My parents apparently were unable to be intimate from then on. As for me, history repeated itself in 1980 on the birth of my first child. A mirror was placed in such a way as to allow me to see the birth of my first child. I watched as the doc stitched me up after episiotomy. I commented “he’s stitching me up like a turkey”! The stitching was honestly that crude. The entire experience of pregnancy and child birth was amazing to me. Joyful and exhausting all at once. However the attempts at intimacy for the ensuing three and one half years caused me to make a decision to divorce my husband mainly because he was so rough and unsympathetic resulting me to weep during inter course due both to the pain and the realization that he was unwilling to be understanding. He knew and forced himself on me anyway. Today we would call it rape. And oddly, on the birth of my second child, once again the result of “rape” by the same man, my doctor, a young doctor delivering his first baby “repaired” me to post childbirth! Whether intentional or not intimacy returned to my life. Please speak to your doctor and express the your need to be left in or returned to original state/no surgical intervention to “tighten or otherwise alter your size”. That’s my rant.
Men are just
I am so sorry
I'm so sorry hunny ❤😢 I'm glad you at least got intimacy back in your life afterwards.
I am so very sorry for what you had to go through 😔💗
women go through so much. I'm sorry for what happened to you. and I'm glad a doctor finally corrected. I'm literally shaking reading these stories.
You are so courageous and strong. 😢
I recently saw a story on reddit where a woman woke up in extreme pain after childbirth, and the nurses and doctors all said that's normal n shit. And one nurse absentmindedly said that it's because of the husband stitch.
She questioned what that was, asked her husband as well, and apparantly the doctor had asked HER HUSBAND if he wanted her to have the husband stitch and he said yes.
So without the woman's consent as she was knocked out after childbirth and needing to be stitched up, they did this to her. She is now split from her husband and sued the hospital.
Hope she sued her ex too
@@acswild5205 I unfortunately don’t think she’d have any legal ground to sue the husband on. She could maybe try to sue him for a torte, emotional damage that kind of thing, but those kinds of cases are hard to win.
I’m glad she sued the hospital though bc that’s malpractice imo
😭😭😭 what was the update?
There is no such thing as a husband stitch. Think about it, the story is that women ask for the “extra stitch” aka, the husband stitch. Where does it go then? The vagina is on average 6 inches long. If you put an extra stitch, then where do you put it? The outside, the middle or upper? One stitch cannot make your vagina tighter cause you cant just put it in one spot to make it tighter. That’s why she’s trying to explain this doesn’t exist. Ppl actually think that they got this because ppl really do ask for it. The doctor will say yes and wink but they’re really not doing it. That’s why women and men all over say they got it cause they really believe this. Just put it like this, the doctors is going to give you however many stitches you need, why would you need an extra one in the first place if the dr closed you? I know ppl that only needed 2 or 3 and I had 13. So 14 will really have made a difference? Where? Which part? This person who had to sue, isn’t because of an extra stitch, she was stitched wrong. This actually happened to me and it’s very painful..
@@EaRebel And based on what experiences/background/sources do you base the nonexistence of the husband stitch?There are tons of women who say otherwise, and tons of men who asked for the husband stitch.
Happened during my first birth. I had painful sex for 2+years after. My obgyn told me that she threw on an extra stitch at my first post partum appointment, as if giving me an air freshener after a car wash, so casually. She never 'winked ' at my husband or asked him anything, he didn't know, but he was also mad that it was done. When I gave birth the second time, I asked about stitches. The doctor said "maybe I can do one tiny stitch" and looked at my husband, my husband basically growled at her 'don't you dare". I love that man
I am so so sorry.
it’s so gross how often this happens. i’m so sorry.
men that actually love and respect their partners would never even conceive of this idea. We're more concerned that the women and the baby are ok.
@@Genetics-And-Cell-Biology It causes physical pain for the woman. Maybe a loving husband should get surgery to make himself bigger if he's too small.
If your husband is asking for this ✨divorce him✨
This is a common thing in Brazil. Many doctors including woman doctors just do it without telling you about, only later, when the doctor already made the decision for you. Or just telling the husband while the wife is being stich up with the old good smirk and a wink, like the doctor is saying: "I got you bro". This is incredible gross and such a violation that I cannot even explain in words. In here it's a "virgin-again stich". 😠🤬
Does it hurt the female it something? I don't know what's wrong with it. 🤔
@@Goodpatronyeah, youre basically creating a scar between tissue that shouldnt be connected. This scar tissue, which has no ability to stretch, can make sex very painful for the person with a vagina. And it won't actually make the vagina any tighter, only the entrance.
@@juliachatwin3907 Interesting 🤔
@@juliachatwin3907 From where are you getting this information?
@@juliachatwin3907 was looking for this answer.
Better name, widow stitch. The result if he's stupid enough to try it.
😂
Exactly 💯
😂😅😊
Just stay with that man otherwise the rest of the men end up taking care of you and your kids. Those men are also know as taxpayers.
@@who399spotted the incel
These comments are making me happy to see so many women finally speaking up about this. Celebrities talk about the extra stich all the time like Snooki talks about it and how her husband likes it(he was caught in Ashley Madison leak after she said that). Because celebrities talk about it, one of my friends were talking about getting an extra stich so their man would still be interested in them after they had kids and through the body changes. Ladies know your worth. Major red flag if your man asks for the stich.
Neither me or my husband asked for this. But when I say that I can tell there were extra stitches that shouldn't have been there it's an understatement. The one side is further stitched up than the other side. Leaving any movement to pull and feel like I'm tearing 3 years after giving birth. Idk what they did when they were stitching me up, if it was an honest mistake or this was indeed a husband stitch. But I honestly feel bad for anyone else who has had to go through this.
Please consider seeing a plastic surgeon to get a repair. It is doable and though the healing period is not fun, it is worth it. I suggest plastic surgeon only due to the age of the scarring.
I am so sorry this happened.
If one side was more stitched than the other side, it's possible your labia tore. Mine did, and there's a noticable difference in the two sides from healing, that there wasn't before. I have some pain from that, but my OB definitely didn't stitch me "tighter", it's just that scar tissue hurts sometimes
I had something similar happen to me as well
I’m so sorry. Unfortunately it’s very common to have pain after a peri repair, especially if you needed stitches in more than one area. If you had been pushing for awhile or in labour for a long time everything can get very swollen making the repair much harder. If the skin isn’t joined together correctly or a stitch comes lose the edges don’t heal correctly and can form lumpy scar tissue.
Have you talked to your doctor? They can cut out scar tissue and ‘repair the repair’.
I did not get the husband stitch, but I did get really weird scar tissue build up and had to have surgery to fix it. You might want to talk to your doctor.
My husband laughingly said as my doctor was stitching me up ,”Throw an extra stitch in there doc!” 😮 My awesome doctor replied to him, “Real men ask me to leave the stitches out!” 😂
Doc is a real one 🗣️
😂😂🙌
Okay… now that’s funny AF!!!
Sure Jan
Ex husband I hope.
My ex's second wife's nurse told him, when he asked the doctor to tighten her up, "a real man wouldn't need that." He said they put him in his place and he didn't say anymore. So funny!
When my son was born, my ex-wife leaned up and asked the Dr if there was any tearing, he said slightly. Her reply was put in a couple extra stitches for him and looked at me. I just clenched my eyes and shook my head as I looked down. The Dr, nurses and student nurses that came in to watch all just laughed. All I was concerned with was her and our son being ok. Even as a joke, it's the most stupid thing I've ever heard.
This story is fake AF.
@@meowy4720 the one in the video? Wow. How do you know?
He shouldn't be your husband if he's asking for this
Exactly he wants her to have kids but won't accept the consequences on giving birth on women ,basically she's just a tool to him ,that's sad ,SOME men are just contradictory, women are women but can't come with women's characteristics?tf
Definitely
That's a divorce right there
Or a parent, cause those attitudes should never be passed down.
They didn't ask
If my future husband requests this I’m not the only one who’ll need stitches 💀
What if he asks you prior to the surgery would it still be rude?
@@wolf2966 Yes I would divorce someone if he was stupid enough to believe that a stitch would make me tighter and wouldn’t dare risk reproducing with a moron. And if you think that a stitch will make a woman tighter I highly recommend you educate yourself because you are about as bright as a brick.
@@wolf2966absolutely! Would it be as bad? No, but it would still be very rude.
@@wolf2966the “husband stitch” is extremely painful and makes sex painful as well, not something you’d wanna do with or without consent
so you marry a dude and have his kid but somehow ignored all the signs and this is the 1st inclination of his true character to you?
I overheard my neighbor telling my husband he asked for an extra stitch or two after his wife gave birth to their first child. I went off on him. If you don't know how to use what you were given, that's not your wife's fault, it's yours. 🤬😡😤
It's not even about the man's size, it's that she will be in pain and will have issues with sex. It's mutilation
Pretty sure if the wife was pregnant she was present . So it wasnt all his fault.
@eileenmcdonald1599 not many women know what that stich is they tell us it's for both the man and women and she'll feel more pleasure also manipulation and mental abuse is a thing
@@eileenmcdonald1599 Takes two to tango
What was his reaction??
True! I worked for an OB/GYN and there are the 'winks' ! I agree, you deserve better.
They don't necessarily deserve better. They need to CHOOSE better partners. Having sex is a choice. Having a child is a choice. Letting a man inside you is a choice.
False
@@Jake38nine get a job
A midwife I worked with had a dad ask about it in the delivery room. She said, "Why don't you grow a bigger penis." Classic 😂
Where is stitched? I'm so confused. Is it like the rip after childbirth and they close the rip "tighter"
@@GasStation_Sushiyes
Being fair to him he probaly did try that
Might of even gotten minimal success but it is never truly enough
That's like saying a woman being overweight is the same as a man being short.
I would if I could, I think every guy would except the 1% with porn star status. Lol
If my future husband ever asked for this.. there'd be no stitch and one divorce being filed.
How it should be…. Evolve or die out of the gene pool
or he might need a "husband" stitch to be able to father another child.... just my thought
@@PipeHitter126or maybe the guy should be taught from day one women aren't their sex dolls. That stitch should mean instant divorce because if a guy even remotely thinks that ik....he needs to go. Any guy that even remotely thinks that stitch is what they have the right to ask for needs to be single. Sure have the talk, but having raised 3 sons, I can assure you we've never had to talk about the husband stitch and when they heard about it they were appalled..because they're normal, rational humans who know no other human is at their disposal to do whatever they want with.
@@ingloriousbetch4302 well-said, exactly
Oh he'd be needing a few stitches himself
I did a clinical rotation in OBGYN and after a young lady gave birth, the husband said “excuse me doctor can you give an extra stitch” all while clinching his fist tight. I’ll never forget the doctor looked him in the eye and said “sir you’re an asshole, I’ll do an extra stitch, if you can grow one more inch”
LMAO
😂😂😂😂 super
Funny story but hard to believe
Based
@@JakeandOwenit's the Internet, stop trying to be such a detective.
Thank you! Your honesty is refreshing in a society where women are made to feel second class to men!
For too many men, not even 2nd class. More like objects without a voice.
It's so freaking evil. I feel like a husband asking for this is giving a big warning sign that he secretly regards you as his NPC possession.
I believe this is what I had with our first child. It was so painful, it hurt to sit down. 2 months later I begged my Dr to stretch the stitches. While it was better, sex was always painful! 3 years later I ripped with #2 and the relief was amazing. They stitched me up wonderfully. But that extra stitch was so painful I still remember the pain 21 years later.
Stitches would have been gone at that point. You're confused, you had an episiotomy
@@angelofknowledge9389 It is more probable that it was not done on purpose and just a doctor who wasn't very good at sutures. Not every one heals the same and scar tissue can be unpredictable. My stretch marks are not matched up on my C-section scar. I asked the doc what was up with that and he told me the skin was in different condition at the time and it was kind of like trying to stitch up jelly... My tummy was really smooshy for a while.
When I gave birth to my first son(40 years ago) the person stitching me, asked my husband how do you want it, my husband replied just the way it is. Then he asked if there was someone else to stitch me.
Good.
He asked the husband how he wanted the wife's vagina!? The fuck is wrong with people!? Wholey crap! I can promise I would've got an assault charge for kicking the shit out of that doctor if that's what he woulda asked while i was laying on the bed getting stitched up after birthing a whole ass human!
Good on h8m
I really don't get the drama. If needs stitching and it's an option... no she plans on dating a black guy while I'm at work so the wider the better.
Sounds like u have a good husband. Asking someone else how they want your body is so inappropriate
My sister-in-law had her husband say she needed that. My husband told him he needs to grow up. And that it is never actually needed, that if he had a brain, he would know it tightens back up on it's own.
As a obs nurse I replied with “only men with tiny dicks ask for this…”. And I’m not really proud of this response but it sure shut them up.
There weren’t a lot of men who asked for this. Most were lovely and supportive partners during labour and delivery, asking how they could help and really pulling through. Only a few dudes were crappy.
I think that’s the perfect response! Because it really is shrimp dick energy lol
how does this even work? is the vagina tightened or just the opening?
😭🤣 you should be proud-ish cause that’s hilarious AND warranted.
Thank you for protecting your patients in any way you could 👏👏👏
Lol
I struggle to imagine the headspace of not just being glad she’s okay and being ready to care for her and baby.
you'd be surprised how many men really don't give a damn about their wives nor children.
You'd be scared and hurt so much that you would not want to have a sexual relationship after that question was asked. Imagine that before you try to crack a joke or are actually really thinking about your wife being "ruined " 😢really terrible way to be
Women go for bad boys. Women stab holes in condoms. There's lots of crappy people around.
The head space is its our vagina not just yours. If you want us to go down there then we dont want to see a calves liver when we get there. Get over yourselves.
@@Hitsugixsays the woman 🙄 lmfao wtf would you know?
Had to quit reading this comment section for the sake of my blood pressure.
Little word of advice, this goes with any comment section usually. PSA people.
As someone who’s chronically online, Ive learned how horrible men are. People who say Im crazy dont realize you dont know things things about men unless you go on the internet. Men dont say these things in daily, irl conversations.
So, us women actually aren't supposed to tear or need stitches when it comes to childbirth. In fact, we aren't supposed to give birth on our backs. This is why home births are becoming more popular. But if you're worried about health complications, there are buildings called Birthing Centers, and they provide medical emergency services as well. They just don't rush moms giving birth like how hospitals do.
Yup. I have two kids. First, hospital birth on my back, three stitches. Second, at home kneeling in a birthing pool, no tear
This happened to my mom in the 90’s when I was born. As an adult we have very real and candid conversations with each other, and she told me that after I was born, sex became very painful for her. She couldn’t understand why and it eventually let to her not wanting to have sex and my father left her. Years later she found out from a new GYN that it appeared that she had been stitched too much after giving birth and they were able to correct the issue. My dad is an asshole so who knows if he requested this or not, but I wouldn’t put it past him. He’s now 63 dating a 19 year old so you do the math.
Ewwwwwwwww. Dating a 19 year old....yeah he probably asked for the stitch. I'm so sorry for you and your mother
Ohhhhhh fuck....
I would never want to discuss my mom's sex life. EVER, FOR ANY REASON!
@@Oliverthehoundbut! Now her daughter knows what to look out for when she has her own kids! Sometimes being open and honest with your children can help them.
@@eveningstar8581 I do see your point. I suppose it comes down to how your raised. I could not imagine my mom and I having a conversation about her sex life or God forbid mine! Lol...
My ex asked for this with my second my female doctor in medical terms said she’s actually unusually small and so you must just be inadequate down there never laughed so hard
She roasted and toasted him
iconic doctor
👏👏👏
That's what's up. 💯 😂😂
Go ahead Doctor 👍
Imagine being in labor and your own Mother tells the Dr to do this "for her husband, he's grouchy". Yes. That happened.
😮😮😮 I'm so sorry!
That's so awful!! I'm so sorry that happened to you that's horrible!
Nothing to make a husband happier than having no s*x because it causes his wife pain.
That’s appalling!
I want to thumbs down, not because of your comment but because I'm that angry at your mother. :K
A work colleague asked his wifes doctor for the husband stitch and told us about it. I asked if his genitalia was that small that he needed it. Never heard that story out of him again, strangely enough....
This happened to me in 2016. Neither my husband nor I were informed of this until my 6 week post partum checkup. I was told by the obgyn that he added an extra stitch to make sure everything was tight. I didnt realise the implication of this until we tried to be intimate and the pain was unimaginable. My stitches had also become infected and healed unevenly which didnt help the pain at all. I wish he had asked permission first.
Did you sue can you sue?
@lisethp9972 I had no idea that this was a problem until I came across a post about it a few years later.
Still try to sue
@@nikitamaistry6005yeah I would definitely try to sue still
@@nikitamaistry6005Never too late
I love your small pause after you say “if your husband ever asks for this…” while you mentally filter thru all the rage and find a way to be honest, yet also supportive and non-judgemental, to the women that need to hear it.
My mom was a labor and delivery nurse for 30 years and whenever a man asked for / about the "husband stitch" she always turned it around on them by looking down at their crotch and saying "Aww, it is that small that you need one?" Shut the men up, real quick!
I highly doubt your mom would of stayed a nurse if she used that retoric on men in the delivery room. Nice made up story.
Unfortunately i was a victim. After a forcep delivery my stupid doctor told me he was sewing me tighter for my husband, i was still under some anesthesia so i couln't protest. (Husband was not in the room) Those stitches made me so tight that i was in pain for almost a year.
@@susancarroll1855I am so sorry, I hope you sued him!
@@susancarroll1855 was your husband there? , why didnt he protect you ?
@@pedroquiver9489but I’d does actually happen. Obviously you’re not a woman so you wouldn’t understand it. Sometimes these “men” need to be put in their place.
I can't say this enough... Kudos to all the moms who pushed a baby out!! I had 2 c-sections. Personally I didn't think c-sections were that bad! Every body is different! What a woman's body can do is incredible ❤