What it feels like to play in a railroaded game

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  • Опубліковано 21 лис 2024

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  • @Natgeo-xf8xb
    @Natgeo-xf8xb 4 роки тому +12855

    Jacob: *settles in the bath and starts to relax*
    The King, rising out of the water: "Another settlement needs our help. Here, I'll mark it on your map".

    • @haysdixon6227
      @haysdixon6227 4 роки тому +45

      Natgeo1201: is Desbug

    • @icarue993
      @icarue993 4 роки тому +159

      I thought the exact same thing! King Preston Harvey.

    • @greatstoryteller9459
      @greatstoryteller9459 4 роки тому +161

      This character I would love. He just appears and gives you stuff then just leaves, asking you to vist every once in a while maybe. Cause he's lonely and just a weird nice guy.

    • @MoonPatch
      @MoonPatch 4 роки тому +92

      What a shame that the King is already part of the Minutemen, he would've fit right in at the Railroad

    • @figgot1571
      @figgot1571 4 роки тому +13

      Goddammmit Preston, go away

  • @thedocblock6421
    @thedocblock6421 4 роки тому +9148

    "As you go to say no, you say yes"
    Ah yes, the floor here is made of ceiling

    • @nathanex5122
      @nathanex5122 4 роки тому +200

      The fire is so wet
      The water is so hot

    • @therr2146
      @therr2146 4 роки тому +143

      @@nathanex5122 I mean, water can be hot

    • @nathanex5122
      @nathanex5122 4 роки тому +42

      @@therr2146 ah yes this comment is made out of bullshit and doesnt have any facts

    • @icarue993
      @icarue993 4 роки тому +91

      @@nathanex5122 The water ignites paper. Yes, I do science.

    • @gazelle_diamond9768
      @gazelle_diamond9768 4 роки тому +73

      @@icarue993 Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?

  • @RecruitofApollo
    @RecruitofApollo 4 роки тому +19005

    “As you go to say no, you say yes.” Ah, Fallout 4, we meet again.

    • @marshbordeaux4210
      @marshbordeaux4210 4 роки тому +377

      Gives a new meaning to “railroad”

    • @Vaprous
      @Vaprous 4 роки тому +503

      What's incredible about saying no in Fallout 4...
      Is sometimes your character will state an explicit *no* and yet... the quest will still start. There is literally *no way* to refuse a quest. Unless its given by a non-essential NPC... in which case, you know, there is one option.

    • @jacobrodriguez5289
      @jacobrodriguez5289 4 роки тому +76

      Hello! Vault-Tec calling!

    • @CloakofAuron
      @CloakofAuron 4 роки тому +68

      Did we even play the same game? I said no dozens of times and turned down quests. Granted, the options are confusing at times, so I'll give you that. But there's two easy ways to remedy that.
      1. Mods that fix the wording of options.
      2. Disable the notification of the quests that you don't want to track. Out of sight, out of mind.
      Playing Fallout 4 makes me wish I was playing Fallout 3 or NV's DLC, though. :(

    • @KossolaxtheForesworn
      @KossolaxtheForesworn 4 роки тому +106

      I need to convince this NPC who has clearly taken very stern change on not working with the brotherhood again, to work for the brotherhood.
      I pick the orange and 1 line of dialog is enough to convince her.
      fucking bethesda.

  • @Arrakiz666
    @Arrakiz666 4 роки тому +7245

    Honestly, if my GM opened up with: "so out of the bathtub rises the king" I'd be fully and completely onboard. That's a good king yo.

    • @angerskarin9222
      @angerskarin9222 4 роки тому +206

      If i'm taking a bath and the king pop on the woman side that a dead king.

    • @Arrakiz666
      @Arrakiz666 4 роки тому +184

      @@angerskarin9222 Hey, she could be a trans king and she'd be just as valid in that space as any non-trans, non-king person.

    • @kelavia2112
      @kelavia2112 4 роки тому +33

      Dorime

    • @Arrakiz666
      @Arrakiz666 4 роки тому +25

      @@kelavia2112 Ameno

    • @Wertsir
      @Wertsir 4 роки тому +58

      What is dead May never die, but rises again, harder and stronger.

  • @TheFrostedfirefly
    @TheFrostedfirefly 2 роки тому +1870

    I feel like a genuine campaign could be made from a party of adventurers just trying to live a chill life but are constantly interrupted by the King who's trying to make them accept absurd quests they'd never realistically want to accept.

    • @andrefasching1332
      @andrefasching1332 2 роки тому +140

      thats effectivly skyrim. Sometimes i just wanna chill and be a little thief, but every Jarl or other mildly important NPC has a "Die in some cave for me please" quest

    • @a_angry_bunny
      @a_angry_bunny 2 роки тому +175

      DM: "You enter the library, it is quiet and peaceful with only a few commoners browsing the shelves and librarians doing their duties."
      DM: what would you like to do?
      Party: We would like to start browsing the books in search of information.
      DM: Great, "As you approach a bookshelf, it suddenly rotates revealing the king who is there to tell you important information about the quest."

    • @ryanbrandsen7703
      @ryanbrandsen7703 2 роки тому +47

      There’s a dnd podcast called die of laughter where they are several episodes in and have refused to leave the starting tavern so far. Very funny and the dm is trying to be very creative to get the story to them lol

    • @j.prt.979
      @j.prt.979 2 роки тому +4

      The Big Lebowski but DnD

    • @DILLIGAF0828
      @DILLIGAF0828 2 роки тому +6

      @@ryanbrandsen7703 that series is about to drive me insane cause all Poob does is make people shit themselves as Sam does everything in his power to make the situation 10x worse and Bryan's just there for the ride. 😂

  • @gosha305
    @gosha305 4 роки тому +2994

    Characters: We go home to sleep.
    DM: Alright. As you sit on your bedsheets, preparing to rest, they suddenly shift as the King *emerges from under your bed's covers*

    • @rommdan2716
      @rommdan2716 4 роки тому +71

      That's pretty bad... Or pretty good...

    • @brennanhaley7141
      @brennanhaley7141 4 роки тому +117

      *Bard intensifies*

    • @ColdspaceDog
      @ColdspaceDog 4 роки тому +13

      Under a females covers

    • @Soitisisit
      @Soitisisit 4 роки тому +86

      The only proper response here is: "I roll to seduce the king."

    • @RedWyvernRising
      @RedWyvernRising 4 роки тому +45

      How did he get here?
      He rose out of the bedsheets

  • @technobeagle9598
    @technobeagle9598 4 роки тому +5127

    When he said, “the king rises out of the water,” I felt that.

    • @LordBrittish
      @LordBrittish 4 роки тому +32

      *George Takei has entered the chat*

    • @artur_pc
      @artur_pc 4 роки тому +20

      In other context that could be awesome.

    • @fortefortissimo638
      @fortefortissimo638 4 роки тому +19

      The king is a surprise villain

    • @miguelaguilar7675
      @miguelaguilar7675 4 роки тому +13

      @@LordBrittish" oh my" that actually sounds like a fun villain concept xD

    • @potatoheadpokemario1931
      @potatoheadpokemario1931 4 роки тому +20

      what got me mad is that after he given them information, he takes them back to the castle for more information, you couldn't have done that in the bath?

  • @linkjokerfanboy9258
    @linkjokerfanboy9258 4 роки тому +5810

    "I attack the king"
    "Okay, the king falls dead"
    "Oh than-"
    "His chest bulges and tares, the sound of muscle and bone breaking, as a smaller version of the king rises from the dead body"

    • @amberjones4067
      @amberjones4067 4 роки тому +418

      And now I have my next NPC. Thank you very much.

    • @Maxclockwork
      @Maxclockwork 4 роки тому +137

      i would lowkey surprise adopt the king

    • @no-eyes1275
      @no-eyes1275 4 роки тому +80

      thats one way to kill off murber hobos fast, make up the sheet and ask the murder hobo to roll initudive and all of the tiny king would kill the murder hobo

    • @Insertfunnycomment
      @Insertfunnycomment 4 роки тому +274

      "I attack the smaller king"
      "You kill him fairly quickly, and he falls to the ground."
      "Now I'm king I guess"
      "Actually, as you approach the kingly robes, a small scaled hand pushes them aside and you realize... there were two other kobolds underneath these robes.
      The king was actually three kobolds in a trench coat."

    • @SeanLaMontagne
      @SeanLaMontagne 4 роки тому +43

      @@Insertfunnycomment why was that so funny

  • @InvoRL
    @InvoRL 3 роки тому +3339

    "The King rises out of the water."
    "Roll initiative."

    • @topkek996
      @topkek996 3 роки тому +119

      [Dark Souls boss music starts]

    • @thehistoryandbooknerd8979
      @thehistoryandbooknerd8979 3 роки тому +39

      *Megalovania x Darksouls intensifies*

    • @planexshifter
      @planexshifter 2 роки тому +21

      That made me laugh too much-

    • @Guardian_Robin
      @Guardian_Robin 2 роки тому +57

      I like reading this as the player saying "Roll initiative" in response to the DM

    • @darksev.6468
      @darksev.6468 2 роки тому +17

      "Ilinash, Monarch of The Hot Springs"

  • @L.A.M.B_B4
    @L.A.M.B_B4 3 роки тому +2232

    I can't stop laughing at the image of a king rising out of the water talking to the adventurers with a straight face scaring the crap out of the party.

    • @LeviAEthan512
      @LeviAEthan512 3 роки тому +77

      Got something I'm supposed to deliver. Your hands only.

    • @Callaghan552
      @Callaghan552 2 роки тому +47

      I like to imagine he's still in his fancy fur robes and crown with sceptre and stuff

    • @DinoNuggies4665
      @DinoNuggies4665 2 роки тому +1

      Skyrim lol

    • @funnyvideoguy3216
      @funnyvideoguy3216 2 роки тому +1

      It's funnier imagining the pale king doing this

    • @joelrobinson5457
      @joelrobinson5457 2 роки тому +11

      This, this made me laugh, then the mental image of him just handing pouches of paper, completely drenched like, "yes, please hurry"

  • @rebeccalynne6217
    @rebeccalynne6217 4 роки тому +2924

    "As you go to say no, you say 'yes' instead."
    Pokemon professors when they ask you to fill out the Pokedex.

    • @Snowie7826
      @Snowie7826 4 роки тому +17

      I was looking for this comment XD

    • @elrafa111
      @elrafa111 4 роки тому +59

      Sometimes they actually let you say no, but then they say some variation of "Come'on kid, I really need the help" and if you keep saying no they will just repeat the same phrase until you accept. It feels like a parody every time I see it.

    • @Krytern
      @Krytern 4 роки тому +18

      @@elrafa111 A few games do that I hate it.

    • @rafaelbordoni516
      @rafaelbordoni516 4 роки тому +16

      I love saying no to mother when she asks you if you want a Pokemon or go on an adventure or something, lmao

    • @darkdjinniumbrage7798
      @darkdjinniumbrage7798 4 роки тому +10

      Ah, Professor Rowan. We meet again

  • @mittensei
    @mittensei 4 роки тому +2194

    "Wise King of the Bathwater, what is your wish?"
    "Do my quest."

    • @no-eyes1275
      @no-eyes1275 4 роки тому +17

      i would if a king just randomly appers giving the players a nug in the directrion they need to go

    • @elboob1921
      @elboob1921 4 роки тому +2

      That's some Tigtone shit and I love it.

    • @valoeghese
      @valoeghese 4 роки тому +21

      To quote another person:
      “The king rises out of the water. He recognises you from when you never met”

    • @TonberryShuffle
      @TonberryShuffle 3 роки тому +3

      My Bard: Is that the name of your daughter?

  • @alexanderthegreat1270
    @alexanderthegreat1270 4 роки тому +3932

    “The paper was laminated”
    Jesus Christ that killed me

    • @panpan3303
      @panpan3303 4 роки тому +52

      What killed me was the face Jacob made when he said it, Alexander the boring pseudonym.

    • @vitaminc2161
      @vitaminc2161 4 роки тому +20

      And that is not even the weirdest part of the event.

    • @beholdthesupergirl
      @beholdthesupergirl 4 роки тому +7

      Laminated paper... GOT HIM!!! xD

    • @jamiewalters6111
      @jamiewalters6111 3 роки тому +1

      @@panpan3303 Is...is this an OSP reference?

    • @panpan3303
      @panpan3303 3 роки тому

      @@jamiewalters6111 kind of? I’ll just say yes.

  • @contaejus
    @contaejus 4 роки тому +579

    "the king rises out of the water" i pictured some immaculate 10 pack dude with a crown and a burgerking beard just rising up arms stretched back, head tilted back, slow motion, long hair. hilarious

    • @ave_maria323
      @ave_maria323 3 роки тому +5

      Omg I see it

    • @VeryProfessionalGamer
      @VeryProfessionalGamer 3 роки тому +13

      *queue pillar men theme*

    • @jackers30
      @jackers30 3 роки тому +22

      "awaken, my servants" are his first, majestic words. He stretches his arms widely as the light across the room shifts in color. Water bubbles by his side as two other men appear, both in similar regalia and exuding a similar aura of vigour, power, and majesty.
      "the king decrees"
      "the servants obey"
      They say one after the other in a seamless stream, as if just one person spoke. Their arms crossed, and backs slightly arched, but no other movement otherwise
      "I have a quest for you, adventurer."
      Finally, the king himself speaks once more, imposing onto you and your companions the task ahead. For you are only a subject, you must obey.

    • @VeryProfessionalGamer
      @VeryProfessionalGamer 3 роки тому +6

      @@jackers30 Oh god yes. I need to build in JoJo references into all campaigns now.

    • @ambermasson3934
      @ambermasson3934 2 роки тому

      Same dood

  • @mcmosfet2856
    @mcmosfet2856 4 роки тому +735

    "And holds his arms out, in awe of the fact that you have come"
    I like how even the NPC king is thrown off by the forced linear path.

  • @CyberKirby
    @CyberKirby 4 роки тому +3072

    Honestly, if the king rose out of the water without the whole setup of the castle earlier, that'd just be hilarious. Give us some good insight into the king.

    • @lockskelington314
      @lockskelington314 4 роки тому +124

      The real-question is why didn't he have a laminated map to show them in the back instead of making them go back to the castle

    • @lucykitsune4619
      @lucykitsune4619 4 роки тому +160

      "as you go to the bathhouse the king rises out of the water and says 'You might wonder why I gathered all of you here today...' [...]"

    • @ashleychaplin5855
      @ashleychaplin5855 4 роки тому +27

      Just watching it starting at 1:30 is hilarious

    • @proxy90909
      @proxy90909 4 роки тому +34

      @@lucykitsune4619 He is totally a divination wizard... He is so good/powerful he knows about the evil before it happens long enough to know you are the solution, but because he did it before it happens you have time mess around and do sidequest

    • @TheMightyBattleSquid
      @TheMightyBattleSquid 4 роки тому +13

      I was thinking the same thing. I couldn't even be mad at that point.

  • @CritCrab
    @CritCrab 4 роки тому +7762

    Keep your fun out of my D&D, Jacob.

    • @Handles-Suck-YouTube
      @Handles-Suck-YouTube 4 роки тому +115

      You tell'im crabbo, you tell'im.

    • @jurej5027
      @jurej5027 4 роки тому +82

      King crabbo rises from the sea one wishes to relax in

    • @q-tip9962
      @q-tip9962 4 роки тому +29

      Crab Army unite

    • @thegrapetree652
      @thegrapetree652 4 роки тому +12

      I love your vids!

    • @TheUncouthGentleman
      @TheUncouthGentleman 4 роки тому +14

      AS A PALADIN OF THE CROWN, I HAVE SWORN AN OATH TO PROTECT KING CRABBO!!

  • @SamLabbato
    @SamLabbato 4 роки тому +1470

    I was expecting him to say "you enter the bath house" and then proceed to describe the interior of the king's throne room

    • @lisagaughan7154
      @lisagaughan7154 3 роки тому +29

      Now I can't get that out of my head.

    • @2fortsmostwanted
      @2fortsmostwanted 3 роки тому +29

      This is fucking gold

    • @seigeengine
      @seigeengine 2 роки тому +88

      "You enter the bath house to find the king sitting on his throne in the middle of the bath. Expensive tapestries and banners were hastily affixed to the walls, and are slowly wicking up water from the wet floors. The King greets you, 'Good, you've arrived. You'll need to head to Ferngully and defeat the great evil that's been plaguing it.' He fetches a rolled up piece of parchment floating in the bath beside him, and unfurls it, revealing a half-dissolved map. He points out where you need to go, before dismissing you."

    • @VItarcheg
      @VItarcheg 2 роки тому +15

      The castle is undergoing repairs so king had to move his throne room somewhere. He also likes to bath often

    • @flameofmage1099
      @flameofmage1099 Рік тому

      Same

  • @Seoul_Soldier
    @Seoul_Soldier 4 роки тому +1581

    When the king rose out of the water I imagined him in a T-pose.

    • @CidGuerreiro1234
      @CidGuerreiro1234 4 роки тому +58

      That sounds horrifying.

    • @jubimagi
      @jubimagi 3 роки тому +56

      Establishing dominance

    • @techmarine83
      @techmarine83 3 роки тому +1

      Someones watched the Depeche Mode - Personal Jesus [The Stargate Mix] video eh!

    • @LiamsClan
      @LiamsClan 3 роки тому +3

      We all did

    • @InvoRL
      @InvoRL 3 роки тому +7

      Roll initiative lmao

  • @kubdub.
    @kubdub. 4 роки тому +344

    This is my favorite video they've ever made.
    Them improving and genuinely making each other crack up is hilarious.
    1:11 "As you go to say no... you say yes instead."
    2:30 "the paper was laminated."

  • @tobythompson3746
    @tobythompson3746 4 роки тому +1413

    “As you go to say no, you say yes,” and “The paper is laminated,” and “The route is a railroad,” are all godly phrases that I live by now

    • @chrishansen1842
      @chrishansen1842 4 роки тому +11

      As I always say
      It's always the French
      If it isn't the French it's the Scottish
      And now The Paper is Laminated

    • @Femaiden
      @Femaiden 4 роки тому +22

      if
      Player : "can i tell him no?"
      DM : "roll a wisdom save. . . vs DC 17"
      Player : *rolls die* "16. . ."
      DM : "as you go to say no...you say yes instead "
      that would be legit

    • @gameplaysuffering1620
      @gameplaysuffering1620 4 роки тому +6

      "the King raises out of the water"

  • @hammdogporkington3058
    @hammdogporkington3058 4 роки тому +404

    "As you go to say no, you say yes" has the same energy as JRPGs that have a Yes/No question but only advance the dialogue if you say yes

    • @jinclay4354
      @jinclay4354 3 роки тому +27

      To be fair, in a quest like "Will you help me with this thing?", the most civilized response I can think of for when the player says "No" would be "It's alright, bro. If you change your mind, I'll be here.".
      Besides, that also gives the player the opportunity to prepare for the quest before triggering the start of the quest.

    • @zacharyhutchison4006
      @zacharyhutchison4006 3 роки тому +9

      Or no, as is the case with joining team rocket

    • @AnnaMno1
      @AnnaMno1 3 роки тому +5

      Pokemon Ranger: Shadows of Almia, litrally has a question that won't let you pick no, dispite seeming to offer it as an option. Spoilers Below
      When Heath tries to get you to trade The ranger they Captured Keith for the gemstone you recently got that is needed to stop team Dim Sun, it gives you a yes or no option, but if you try to choose not to it will just make you repate the option until you give in, cause there is only one route allowed

    • @laface2361
      @laface2361 2 роки тому +5

      Worst is when they put the no option first so you cant carelessly spam through it either.

    • @YourIQDoesntMeanShitToMe
      @YourIQDoesntMeanShitToMe 2 роки тому +3

      @@AnnaMno1 You didn't really need a spoiler warning from some random game to make that point though.

  • @gabrieldecock5050
    @gabrieldecock5050 4 роки тому +698

    "How did he get here"
    "He rose out of the water"

    • @Hary_Half-Mast
      @Hary_Half-Mast 4 роки тому +24

      Silly player. How else could he have gotten there?

    • @imanard3593
      @imanard3593 4 роки тому +3

      @Pardoner Geoffrey yes

    • @dew-it8744
      @dew-it8744 4 роки тому +17

      “The papers are laminated” yes, that explains everything

    • @gibbous_silver
      @gibbous_silver 4 роки тому +1

      He misty stepped there

  • @ApprenticeNick
    @ApprenticeNick 4 роки тому +130

    "The paper was laminated."
    Every line in this video is perfection.

  • @coyote4326
    @coyote4326 3 роки тому +514

    Railroading DM's = "I don't want to play a game I want to tell a story."
    Plot De-railing Players = "I don't want to play a game I want to tell MY story."

    • @NoActuallyGo-KCUF-Yourself
      @NoActuallyGo-KCUF-Yourself 2 роки тому +3

      Maybe D&D should not be about story until the adventure is over.

    • @CrizzyEyes
      @CrizzyEyes 2 роки тому +57

      More like "I want to play a game to the point where I will test the limits of your prep work and improvisation skills by interacting with the most obscure NPCs who the DM made the mistake of naming"

    • @MarbleClouds
      @MarbleClouds 2 роки тому +1

      @@CrizzyEyes Tru.

    • @coyote4326
      @coyote4326 2 роки тому +1

      @@CrizzyEyes Takes a special kind of person to feel insulted by a meme.

    • @CrizzyEyes
      @CrizzyEyes 2 роки тому +10

      @@coyote4326 You're projecting, buddy, I was just making another joke on top of that, which is in fact in the same vein as your initial post

  • @adwitatherealadwita
    @adwitatherealadwita 4 роки тому +1993

    I love railroading in my games! I think it's an underused form of transportation but it works better in more steampunk-y settings, so I understand why it's not in every campaign. But it can make for really cool sequences, scenes, and fights!

    • @charliea.5546
      @charliea.5546 4 роки тому +276

      scared me for a second there lmao

    • @FuriosHobbitGaming
      @FuriosHobbitGaming 4 роки тому +74

      I think it can be used in moderation but not the entire game

    • @deltaphant_
      @deltaphant_ 4 роки тому +71

      Yeah, the lightning rails in Eberron are really useful! The world's really big so it can save a lot of time when it takes ages to cross a single country.

    • @adwitatherealadwita
      @adwitatherealadwita 4 роки тому +54

      FuriosHobbitGaming
      Agreed, though a party that acts as a train crew in order to find new places to get new jobs as adventurers would be pretty cool.

    • @adwitatherealadwita
      @adwitatherealadwita 4 роки тому +15

      DarthBinary
      They also look awesome

  • @naheleshiriki5496
    @naheleshiriki5496 4 роки тому +459

    The paper was laminated... that's how ready this King was to creep on someone in a bathtub.

    • @theprimestskeletron676
      @theprimestskeletron676 4 роки тому +18

      No I like to imagine he just carries those on him at all time. Just in case

    • @StabYourBrain
      @StabYourBrain 3 роки тому +5

      @@theprimestskeletron676 I mean.. he has to tell SOMEONE about the troubles in Felrond.

  • @dynawesome
    @dynawesome 4 роки тому +652

    “I attack him”
    “You miss”

    • @thisstatementisfalsenothin5312
      @thisstatementisfalsenothin5312 4 роки тому +71

      “And remember kids gods go first in initiative”
      “His bonus is higher than your ac so there’s no real reason to roll.”
      “Legendary resistance”
      “He casts power word kill”

    • @THENAMEISMEGAMAN
      @THENAMEISMEGAMAN 4 роки тому +85

      "Wait! I didn't even ROLL! How did I MISS!?"
      "And as you're swinging your sword, the king points out the location of where you need to go on your map."

    • @james484
      @james484 4 роки тому +4

      This happened to me in my first ever session as a player

    • @hugofontes5708
      @hugofontes5708 4 роки тому +28

      "I attack"
      "Something stops you from drawing your weapon"
      "I punch"
      "You can't rise your arm"
      "I spend a sorcery point and cast fireball without somatic component"
      "You choke"
      "I have my snake familiar bite them"
      "It gently curls around the king"
      It happens

    • @bubbasbigblast8563
      @bubbasbigblast8563 4 роки тому +16

      "The king rolls his Charisma to talk you down. He re-rolls 1-19, taking the better result, so I'll just skip to the Nat 20. You wake up one hour later with a location marked on your map."

  • @KiR_Tank
    @KiR_Tank 3 роки тому +118

    -"Can we tell him no?"
    -"Roll for it"
    -"Natural 1"
    -“As you go to say no, you say yes.”

  • @Manacra13
    @Manacra13 3 роки тому +247

    I do legit love the idea of just the king slowly rising out of the bath water as the party is just chilling there with 0 explanation on how he got their or what he’s doing there. It’s honestly one of the funniest campaign memes I’ve ever seen. 😂😂

  • @GrondGrondGrondGrond
    @GrondGrondGrondGrond 4 роки тому +505

    Railroad DMs should warn their players with a whistle and a conductor's hat.

    • @proxy90909
      @proxy90909 4 роки тому +27

      "All aboard a main questline choo choo"

    • @voided_sun
      @voided_sun 4 роки тому +30

      Actually I did just that. I warned my players that the first hour of a campaign was a slight railroad to get things going smoothly. I'd actually recommend this if you are going to do it.

    • @nairocamilo
      @nairocamilo 4 роки тому +10

      @@voided_sun Communication is key!
      Who would've guessed

    • @commandercaptain4664
      @commandercaptain4664 4 роки тому +5

      Player: I need an item card.
      DM: Here ya go.
      *hands over Reading Railroad from Monopoly*

    • @articusramos808
      @articusramos808 4 роки тому +1

      Ok! I'll be in the caboose!
      (Slowly plans to pull a old man Henderson) let's see if we can uncouple a few worthless cars along the journey. Hey, what is this thing about a certain quest tied to this stupid book? I tried to toss it into the shredder and it somehow caught fire.

  • @Lucas-lz8wc
    @Lucas-lz8wc 4 роки тому +871

    Legendary Railroad: If a PC says "No", you can choose to make them say "Yes" instead.

    • @Solrex_the_Sun_King
      @Solrex_the_Sun_King 3 роки тому +26

      NPC:Can we have intercourse?
      Player: No
      DM: uses ability
      Player: OOOOOOKAY IM GOING HOME NOW SEE YOU NOT NEXT WEEK OR EVER AGAIN!

    • @165hy9
      @165hy9 3 роки тому +12

      Do you go to the castle
      No
      Roll a wisdom save
      6
      You are charmed and you go to the castle

    • @seigeengine
      @seigeengine 2 роки тому

      @@Solrex_the_Sun_King Yes, thank you for the creepy rape joke.

  • @masonkemph7698
    @masonkemph7698 4 роки тому +240

    I almost didn't catch the start of the railroading, I legit had the same double take irl
    Edit: God I hope that laminated line was improv, that's fucking gold

  • @joshuaadams-leavitt4603
    @joshuaadams-leavitt4603 2 роки тому +54

    This would be a really cool setting if it is revealed that you are really trapped in some kind of spell or illusion or Labyrinth that forces you to take the quest.

  • @claire3614
    @claire3614 3 роки тому +188

    This happened to me today. I've been playing with this DM who simply selfinserted himself as the captain of this ship we were on and gave us orders all the time and we had to do what he wanted. But it gets worst, just wait. So there was a wreckage and we are just stuck in an island, we thought for a second that we had lost this annoying bossy (supposedly NPC) character, but then he just appeared out of nowhere, started giving us orders, describing what we (the players) were doing and the decisions we made, the rest of the party said basically "okay, I guess I'll do that...?" and as he got to the point when he began to tell me how my character was healing his buddy (because apparently that’s all my druid can do, he deadass INSTRUCTED ME to put into my character sheet that I almost never get into combat and even when I do so is only to be the healer. I'M NOT EXAGGERATING) I said "okay, first of, I don't think my character would do that, I mean, I don't even know who this guy is to begin with" because we never roleplayed or anything, first time knowing that guy existed, didn't even know his name... And he said, "nononono, you actually like this guy a lot! You see, your character doesn't interact much with the rest of the crew, but you like this guy! So you decide to heal him. Roll a medicine check now"

    • @Sammie1053
      @Sammie1053 2 роки тому +48

      This is one of the worst things I've heard in a long time

    • @chaosmastermind
      @chaosmastermind 2 роки тому +22

      Nah man, I'm pretty sure my character laughs and watches him die.

    • @silenceexe9439
      @silenceexe9439 Рік тому +2

      Yeah no. I say goodbye and leave the campaign lol

    • @Disgruntled_Grunt
      @Disgruntled_Grunt Рік тому

      Skeweton King bwake you haynds!

  • @brandongalvan6603
    @brandongalvan6603 4 роки тому +179

    Plot twist: he doesn't remember agreeing to help the king because the wizard cast _modify memory_ on him.

    • @zachmercer1065
      @zachmercer1065 3 роки тому +7

      Now THAT would be the setup to a pretty interesting campaign.

    • @brandongalvan6603
      @brandongalvan6603 3 роки тому +2

      @@zachmercer1065 It's also a great way of misleading your players into thinking that they are being railroaded at the start of a campaign because you can just state that they all remember agreeing to go on a certain quest (as long as none of them are immune to being charmed). It sets up a plot hole that might be missed unless any of the players take the spell into consideration and it can be used to set up an ambush on the characters.

  • @CarrowMind
    @CarrowMind 4 роки тому +3086

    Then there's the other side: Four-five people sitting there in silence as they try to figure out what they want to do while the DM just sits there staring at them after giving a 5 minute introduction and describing where they are.
    Railroad adventures suck, but so do 100% sandbox ones too. Games need at least _some_ sort of direction, not everyone is a drama nerd with a huge imagination, some people need a gentle prod in the right direction.

    • @kapitanbeuteltier5889
      @kapitanbeuteltier5889 4 роки тому +269

      Yes! And for everyone that might be reading this: to help alleviate this issue somewhat, it really helps to think of some sort of personal quest your character is on. So, whenever there is downtime from the Big Bads schemes, you have clear goals in mind that are not directly tied to the "main"-quest.

    • @LemonMoon
      @LemonMoon 4 роки тому +109

      When the players are done with a quest and don’t know what to do, I always tell them some things they can do, and if I was prepared enough to make a town map, I point out locations they can go shop at or find quests in.

    • @آذرگندمبخش
      @آذرگندمبخش 4 роки тому +34

      This comment was made by railroad gang

    • @CaptainSeaDog_
      @CaptainSeaDog_ 4 роки тому +87

      I agree with this mostly because a few of my players are like that. Then I see vids like these and it makes me feel bad for lightly pushing them in the right direction. So seeing this comment makes me feel slightly better
      Edit:
      I also wanted to add that... I've sort of circumvented this by talking to my players and asking them what they want. Giving them personal character plots they may enjoy. I feel that helps a lot.

    • @Rynewulf
      @Rynewulf 4 роки тому +20

      Oh boy I feel that one! My main group always flounders if I don't drop a story directly in front of them, but it can be hard to make it open enough to also not make it feel like I had to drop something at their feet

  • @5Dworld
    @5Dworld 4 роки тому +142

    That NPC King is a man who knows how to get things done. He sounds like a perfect partner to our favorite wizard.

    • @haku8135
      @haku8135 3 роки тому +13

      "Let me tell you of the problems in Fellrond. First, there is a big fucking tree monster harassing our trade routes."
      Wizard-*excited* Ohh
      "Next, we've heard a large bandit group has built themselves a fortress in the mountains. Out of very dry wood"
      Wizard-*salivating* Haaaah yes.
      "Lastly, an enormous demon has been summoned in the west. Our scryers have learned it is entirely composed of a substance called.....*checks laminated notes* Hydrogen.
      Wizard-FIRE BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL!

  • @philleW12
    @philleW12 4 роки тому +62

    Between the King meeting Jacob with open arms and meeting up with him at a bathhouse, i feel like the DM forgot to mention some ”intimate” backstory between him and Jacob

  • @TM-nv
    @TM-nv 4 роки тому +2392

    "He paralyzes you"
    "No save?"
    "Oh, sure, roll a save"
    "Wisdom?"
    "Sure.."
    "Natural 20, 23"
    "You're still paralyzed"
    True story

    • @31TeV
      @31TeV 4 роки тому +147

      There are some monsters with higher DC than 23, but that would be probably be a very high CR monster.

    • @FishoD
      @FishoD 4 роки тому +96

      I get your point of it being a railroading, however the save example is not really a good one. There are possibilities of having very high DCs for saves. I as a DM do not know the bonuses for every single save of every single PC. Plus there's almost always options on how to increase it.
      Maybe the DC of 24 would be doable if the player used some abilities to boost their save. But they also had no way of knowing 23 doesn't succeed. So this is a normal combat interaction from which PCs and enemies are feeling each other out.

    • @theoxymoron97
      @theoxymoron97 4 роки тому +56

      The dm not asking for a save can be fine if it happens like once or twice in the entire campaign for major plot points but if this was like just to drag out a fight because yall were busting the dms bosses ass thats sad

    • @hazerddex
      @hazerddex 4 роки тому +35

      @@31TeV nat 20 are like nat 1 they are an auto pass

    • @31TeV
      @31TeV 4 роки тому +97

      @@hazerddex
      Saving throws don't get auto pass on 20 or auto fail on 1 RAW, although plenty of people homebrew otherwise. It's only attack rolls where this applies.
      If you don't believe me, try to find in the PHB where it says this applies to ability checks or saving throws. You can't, because it doesn't exist.
      EDIT: PHB clarification

  • @jakespruce1459
    @jakespruce1459 4 роки тому +564

    Lets all hope and pray that we never have to deal with this kind of game.

    • @dynawesome
      @dynawesome 4 роки тому +2

      Aye aye

    • @henriklyckholm245
      @henriklyckholm245 4 роки тому +2

      I feel railroaded til World anvil ;)

    • @willmena96
      @willmena96 4 роки тому +2

      too late, bro

    • @obsidian1612
      @obsidian1612 4 роки тому +6

      I was playing a railroad campaign for three weeks. After the third week I just got up and left in the middle of the game. Never looked back.

    • @johnoshea6208
      @johnoshea6208 4 роки тому +1

      This is pretty much how the first campaign I ever did was lmao

  • @PhileasLiebmann
    @PhileasLiebmann 4 роки тому +130

    Jacob's character: _settles into the hot tub_
    The King: _rises from the waters in his full royal gown, takes a deep breath_ Let me tell you of the troubles in Fellrond.

  • @elkappa508
    @elkappa508 4 роки тому +104

    The look Jacob gives him when he say, "The paper was laminated." 🤣🤣🤣

  • @_drifter_6591
    @_drifter_6591 4 роки тому +24

    "He raises his arms out in awe of the fact that you have come."

  • @gisli9955
    @gisli9955 Рік тому +8

    Had a DM exactly like this.
    Hell, before the campaign started, we had a Wizard PC obsessed with Warforged who was secretly a changeling, and a PC who was secretly a Warforged. All of us players were really excited to RP their first encounter, and the first couple of days that they'd know each other.
    We even talked about how excited we were about all of this in front of the DM.
    Then, when the campaign finally starts, he says "So you've all known each other for 6 months" and talked and talked and talked for almost 30 minutes straight. Deciding every thing we do for us, and creating blank environments and situation where we always had to do one specific thing to progress.
    We complained about this, and he simply refused to take any suggestions into account. So the players and I just left the campaign and started our own.
    Some DM's don't actually want to DM, they just want to write a book.......

  • @exzyyd392
    @exzyyd392 4 роки тому +368

    "I attack him"
    "Okaaay.... roll a d20"
    "Nat 20"
    "You cleave the king clean in half down the middle. You stand there, covered in sweat and blood. You shake in shock at what you have done."
    "Cool, I wanna leave the bathhou-"
    "The king's body shakes as a second body rises from within the pool of blood"

    • @carpedm9846
      @carpedm9846 4 роки тому +48

      Dnd encounter; The King.
      A king who keeps emerging from pools of liquid to ask the aid of adventurers about problems on Greyhawk despite the fact that The King is only encountered in Forgotten realms. He seems oblivious to that fact.
      He is always friendly and thinks highly of adventurers, but cant leave his pond.

    • @Ditidos
      @Ditidos 4 роки тому +14

      @@carpedm9846 Sounds like a bizarre SCP.

    • @proxy90909
      @proxy90909 4 роки тому +8

      @@Ditidos The King of Deep Water

    • @Shadic24367
      @Shadic24367 4 роки тому +17

      "1st of all, rude. 2nd, as I was saying, I have a quest for you adventurers"

    • @commandercaptain4664
      @commandercaptain4664 4 роки тому +1

      DM: The second king body shoots fire out his mouth at you, but you block it with your spinning weapon, which you then launch to stab the king in the chest, with a loud brass sting from James Horner.
      Player: .... is this Krull?
      DM: This is Krull. You're in Krull now.

  • @carrotcake1418
    @carrotcake1418 4 роки тому +211

    Usually how I avoid railroading is tell people before the game starts. Like: “Hey, In waterdeep make a character who’ll want to stay there and maintain a house and or business” works like a charm

    • @IcyDragonPolaris
      @IcyDragonPolaris 4 роки тому +38

      That's what session 0 is supposed to be, but so many people just don't listen.

    • @birthdayzrock1426
      @birthdayzrock1426 4 роки тому +1

      Could you explain this?

    • @jonathanvalentine3434
      @jonathanvalentine3434 4 роки тому +19

      @@birthdayzrock1426 they means have people make charactors that would want to be in the plot. For example i have a game about local politics so i asked people to make charscotrs thst care about the health of the community. Works super well.

    • @linkron9746
      @linkron9746 4 роки тому +35

      @@birthdayzrock1426 it means to make characters that *want* to be in the story. I have had so many edge lords say "why would my character save this person?" Or "my character doesn't want to save these people, my character wants to kill them."
      Like, ok, if your character doesn't want to play the game, make a new character then. You're the one who made him in the first place.

    • @chrishubbard64
      @chrishubbard64 4 роки тому +4

      Thats a bit different of a type of railroading imo. Its one thing to have a specific campaign you want to run, but to literally make it impossible to do anything but what the dm wants to happen, HOW the dm wants it to happen is something else entirely. Lets take jonathans idea as an example. Yeah the campaign is about politics, but you arent allowed any option in how you handle them because the dm only seems to want you to ally with THIS family, and do only what THEY would want, etc etc etc. Every other option you try auto fails and leads right back to the single path the dm wants you to follow.

  • @letsplaysvonaja1714
    @letsplaysvonaja1714 4 роки тому +101

    I love how you can hear someone start laughing after he said "When you go to say no, you actually ssy yes" XD

  • @gormold4163
    @gormold4163 4 роки тому +14

    I can’t decide if it is funnier to imagine the king was just underwater waiting for them, or that he had some magical technique that allowed him to warp there to follow the party.

  • @leemonroe3491
    @leemonroe3491 4 роки тому +35

    It's all about communication. You as a group need to set the right expectations. You can still have a linear storyline where the players have agency and can make decisions. It's when you give them no options and only allow one solution to a problem that it becomes very frustrating. This issue can be completely avoided if people just talk about what kind of game to expect.

    • @SobiTheRobot
      @SobiTheRobot 2 роки тому +1

      I like to use the Dungeon Siege method. The characters have a destination in mind, but because they're on foot, it takes a while to get there. On top of this, there's an invading army on their heels, so they functionally can't linger too long in any one spot.

  • @UnstoppableFloridaMan
    @UnstoppableFloridaMan 4 роки тому +63

    I once played in a game where the DM used the excuse of the fabric of reality in my world is so thin that sometimes things don’t make sense and you teleport around which was just a ploy to not get us to leave his railroad tracks....

    • @proxy90909
      @proxy90909 4 роки тому +5

      I am having portals show up with demons and suddenly teleport people and players in and out of the world... Its an excuse cause very often 1 different player can come to the session.
      (Also I had to get rid of my DM-PC I make hard encounters always cause my players like it but I need more people... Sadly playing a druid is a lot of hassle with transformations, spells & what not. So I said fk it and got rid of him through a portal. Managing 4-5 enemies or 3 of the samd an 1 extra strong, plus a transforming character that keeps concentration magic... I feel like I steal the spot light... I am playing alone vs myself and that I go for half and hour so they can go 5min each, felt unfair)

    • @haku8135
      @haku8135 3 роки тому +1

      @@proxy90909 I suggest you use the Traveler.
      He's fun. Exactly the deity that'd drop players in and out.
      You could also think a bit and go "Hmm, are we in a place where this character can just go off to do something else?"
      In a city it's easy, they just have stuff to do. You can have them wake up and just a note is left, or if you KNOW when the player won't be there, just talk over a reason they'd leave. Being called by their patron god is a good excuse. Or a secret mission they need to do. Whatever makes sense.
      In a dungeon and they just, can't be there, you can RP their character for just a little and have them find some kind of magic stone or circle and they activate it by accident, and it teleports them away. Then you find them later on, either in the dungeon or wherever you go to next. (If you're worried about battles being a tad bit unbalanced, you're the DM, just give them advantage on a few hits, or maybe lower an AC or two as compensation. It depends on the exact situation. You could give them a blessing from a god too, like "The god of justice favors you brave heroes" or something.
      Or give them a baby to stab. According to Nott, that fucking works flawlessly.

    • @proxy90909
      @proxy90909 3 роки тому

      @@haku8135 I should give them the favor of a god and some magical items, after all the teleport shenaningans its gonna be explained when they meet the BBEG and find out he has been purposfully splitting the party all this time to weaken them to prevent them from gathering strenght and defeating hes minions to easily

  • @domisan
    @domisan 4 роки тому +298

    so, you want to not attack the goblins mmm ,roll sneak "rolls 18" they see you with a "rolls 13" , they spot you

    • @jackdiddles4304
      @jackdiddles4304 4 роки тому +30

      "But I have a +15 to stealth"
      "Well yes but actually no"

    • @jackdiddles4304
      @jackdiddles4304 4 роки тому +29

      @Retrogamer 420 but why would you even make that person roll if their result is completely irrelevant?

    • @firestarr5812
      @firestarr5812 4 роки тому +19

      Yeah. There’s no point in letting a character sneak if the DM just has them noticed anyway.

    • @kapitanbeuteltier5889
      @kapitanbeuteltier5889 4 роки тому +9

      @Retrogamer 420 Yes. But if being seen was integral to the story, the dm wouldnt have asked for a stealth-roll

    • @proxy90909
      @proxy90909 4 роки тому +4

      @@kapitanbeuteltier5889 You do ask, because they (or the dm) doesnt know its integral, it would be weird to be like "You were spotted" "Cant I sneak? We were sneaking what happened?"

  • @trulyreallyseriouslydatboi
    @trulyreallyseriouslydatboi 4 роки тому +51

    "As you're going to say no... you say yes." I'm so much going to use this on my players next time an enemy wizard manages to get mind control over one of them.

  • @RelativelyBest
    @RelativelyBest 2 роки тому +20

    "Wait, we never agreed to go to the castle and meet the king."
    "Roll an Intelligence saving throw."

  • @legokangaroo5010
    @legokangaroo5010 3 роки тому +35

    I love how the camera man just starts laughing when he says "when you go to say no, you say yes instead"

  • @Maid_of_Spiders
    @Maid_of_Spiders 4 роки тому +45

    “As you go to say no... you say yes instead.” has the same energy as "But thou must." from Dragon Quest.

  • @MaestroMagnifico21
    @MaestroMagnifico21 4 роки тому +119

    this is why i always say to my players ,"what do you want to do" for them to decide what they want to do next. Unfortunately, most of my players never know what they want to do. i just want them to do something anything so we all can have fun playing dnd but they are so indecisive then they complain about me railroading them when i offer them things they could do. as always great sketch.

    • @Gothic_Analogue
      @Gothic_Analogue 4 роки тому +19

      My players have been so indecisive, that for literal months I just rolled on random encounter tables instead of writing the campaign, and they enjoyed the fuck out of it. Why are my players like this?

    • @k-aw-teksleepysageuni8181
      @k-aw-teksleepysageuni8181 4 роки тому +13

      Yeahhh. Was literally just thinking this.. The other day I had to railroad my players off Dellmon Ranch in PotA because they REFUSED to leave and kept mulling about all the orcs in the area and setting up traps on the farm. We've already spent 4 session there, they fought off a horde. Elven back-up showed up to take the farmsteaders away to a safer place. The farmsteads left the next morning after the attack, but the party said they were going to use the ranch as a base to fight the orcs, after the elves telling them there were THOUSANDS in the area.
      It seemed like 1/3 of them were hell bent on fighting ALL the orcs and TPKing themselves against armies of hundreds (they barely survived fighting 90 of them, and they wanted to fight 10 times that.) The other 4 didn't know where to get next exactly but 1 wanted to go back to a town..THe Warlock who needs not sleep... So I get a message from him being like "I can cast phantom steed and get the party to Beliard in 1 hour"....Ooook, soiunds liek the best plan....
      SO..."You are all sleeping in the caravan when it begins to move, Eskel is taking you all to Beliard."...... NGL the 2 that wanted to TPK the party against a hoard were ACTUALLY mad and kinda bent that they didn't get to divert the campaign into an orc hunting game that would likely end in their demise....
      Sometimes, verrry rarely tho, parties needs to be railroaded in order to save the overarching campaign......

    • @proxy90909
      @proxy90909 4 роки тому +5

      @@k-aw-teksleepysageuni8181 I dont know if they signed up for the specific story module knowngly (I would expect it to be so) but maybe... You could say fk it and roll with it? Task them with ending a horde of orcs... Or outright kill em... Send the hoard let em all die, they will be mad but thats the freedom they want, that is both player & character making a bad desition "A *HOARD* is comming" "We stay and fight" alright.
      Orcs proced to sorround them 9-1 and every time one dies another takes its place on the swarm. Then they die get mad and you just tell em "what did you expect you wanted to face and orc *HOARD* on your own?"

    • @k-aw-teksleepysageuni8181
      @k-aw-teksleepysageuni8181 4 роки тому +5

      @@proxy90909 See the problem was it was 2/6 players, 3 were totally indecisive and quiet, and 1 wanted to get the hell outta there... the 3 indecisive players were all kinda on an off day, but I know they love their PCs story arcs and usually are the more self-preservative types, not "martyr heroes"....
      SO I just kinda took the reigns as the DM and went with the Warlocks plan since he bought the caravan they're all sleeping in. He comes from a merchant family.And he doesn't need to sleep and can ritual phantom steed. So I guess it wasn't really a true railroad on my part, if anything they shoulda been mad at the player playing the warlock.
      Either way the session turned out fine and they're back in agreement to continue fighting the cults.
      But it's an example of a time where it's okay for the DM to be like, "OK, you are doing this now"...as much as it may "feel" like a railroad to some players....

    • @proxy90909
      @proxy90909 4 роки тому +1

      @@k-aw-teksleepysageuni8181 You made the right call for the most players, still I think sometimes you gotta go hard on the players (when you have set conditions beforehand of course), and let them "pick their poison" if 2 of them wanted to stay you can go 2 ways about (2 ways that are probably not the lawful good option if you catch my drift)
      A) Choo choo all aboard the railroad option: You 2 stay to hold back the horde... roll new characters you died an epic death against a horde of orcs, the rest of the party moves on.
      B) You 2 stay... Roll iniciative (kill them on play) now roll new characters. This option is probably kinda boring for the others who were not quite feeling it yet, but if they didnt feel like doing anything in particular maybe watching 30min combat were the others get rekt will entertain them. Sadly it'll probably be boring to the warlock.
      Its like having the edgy lone wolf... I he wants to be alone let him brood in the taver corner... The rest of the party con go do something fun, he may join when he feels like its apropiate and out of hes own will or just roll a character willing to work with a party
      Edit: important note I AM *NOT* an experienced DM i have a stunning 2 campaings record with 0 finished campaings score. The first honestly was a blast thanks to my players but it didnt last more than 7~ sessions of like 6h each cause of outside situations. The other one has gone 6 sessions of like 5-6h and is still going strong, had some oneshots in between but nothing mayor.

  • @lackingcreativevalue
    @lackingcreativevalue 4 роки тому +40

    "In awe that you've come."
    Yeah. I'm in awe that we came too considering we expressed NO DESIRE OF DOING SO

  • @frankcrenshaw2880
    @frankcrenshaw2880 4 роки тому +27

    This makes me laugh so loud! I recently joined an online group that was such a railroad! I was guarding a staircase after a main battle and suddenly I was in an airship doing something.. I mean literally 30 seconds earlier, the DM asked me what I was doing and I told him I was reaching into a satchel to grab oil to throw down some stairs to slow some bad guys who were charging up it..
    But he said, right - you all run then jump on the awaiting airship before they can get to you, and you travel for a few days when you notice a large group of birds following you.. I'm like - I THROW MY OIL THAT I JUST PULLED OUT AT THEM!
    After the game the GM told me I needed to interact with the story and be more serious, and be less "funny".. He also told me I was meta gaming... I told him it wasn't a story i could react to as it seemed he was running my character not me. He asked me to leave the group, and I happily did.

  • @bloodclaw123
    @bloodclaw123 3 роки тому +12

    I think the "literally about to die laughing" moments you guys include before the cuts are the best parts about your show. Like, my god, they never fail to get me to giggle.

    • @petelee2477
      @petelee2477 3 роки тому +1

      I especially love how he lost it when the dm said "the papers are laminated"

  • @BlackINKim
    @BlackINKim 4 роки тому +341

    "As you go to say no, you say yes"
    Heeeey! Is this a DnD games or my social anxieties?!

  • @DragonsDungeon
    @DragonsDungeon 4 роки тому +201

    Only a minute in and I’m furious
    Edit: now I’m laughing and angry

  • @iPhoneeditor
    @iPhoneeditor 4 роки тому +30

    3:30 If you look real close you can actually see the moment when his soul blackens with hatred and his alignment changes to evil.

  • @anatomicalpuppet
    @anatomicalpuppet 4 роки тому +26

    This actually helped me feel a lot better about my own game lmao. I’m DMing a campaign for the first time and have been worrying about whether it’s too railroad-y, but maybe it’s not actually that bad lol

    • @burningmagyk4986
      @burningmagyk4986 2 роки тому +5

      A wise man once said: "We shouldn't be awarding points for clearing a bar that's subterranean."

  • @justinricobaldi8550
    @justinricobaldi8550 3 роки тому +15

    “As you go to say no, you say yes.”
    That alone is worth the like for this video! I love it.

  • @xorbeas3960
    @xorbeas3960 4 роки тому +93

    2:10 “how did he get here” the king “By the power of G-Fuel of corse”

    • @no-eyes1275
      @no-eyes1275 4 роки тому +3

      that would have been a perfect ad

  • @IngloriousPirandello
    @IngloriousPirandello 4 роки тому +49

    "I want buy some items" "yes, as you approach the desk, the king is here to explain the great treat, that is incoming to the kingdom"

  • @lordmaster6667
    @lordmaster6667 4 роки тому +26

    "its an open world sandbox campaign, but the only way to get anywhere quickly is the train"

  • @BrownRecluse1738
    @BrownRecluse1738 2 роки тому +3

    The king appears out of the water
    "A new hand touches the beacon!"

  • @trilliongold
    @trilliongold 2 роки тому +8

    00:15-1:15 This is literally, almost word for word, exactly how our current DM started our first session lmao. Our characters started out having all received a letter inviting us to see the king we don't know, in a land we don't know, about a mission we have no information about, also we are already at the castle and walking through the hall to the king to speak with him. Also time skips us around to speed us to his scenario for the session.

    • @PapaBearIsHere
      @PapaBearIsHere 2 роки тому

      doesn't sound fun, why do you still have them as dm?

    • @Hadaron
      @Hadaron 2 роки тому +5

      @@PapaBearIsHere
      Could have been a first-time DM. Could have been a DM that’s a bit awkward with the initial plothook but is great otherwise. Could be a bit of uneasiness with the first session. Doesn’t mean the campaign can’t be fun.

  • @dataecto6135
    @dataecto6135 4 роки тому +131

    DM: You guys ready to play?
    Me: Yep, hit me with the adventure hook-
    DM: [Snake Voice] War...
    has changed.

    • @kaboomluong9373
      @kaboomluong9373 4 роки тому +10

      the dwarves tried making a railroad cannon and turned a large portion of the planet into a crater

    • @gamejunky3040
      @gamejunky3040 4 роки тому +10

      And the secret elven organization know as the Loyalists has taken control of remaining kingdoms through a suggestive hypnotic memes placed in the population. Your mission, destroy Iron Dwarf and find information about the Loyalist.

    • @leotamer5
      @leotamer5 4 роки тому +5

      But, but war. War never changes.

    • @gamingmaster6377
      @gamingmaster6377 4 роки тому +1

      Then, Purple Gonk fired his Doom Intelligent Critical Katana towards all the presidents

  • @LordTonzilla
    @LordTonzilla 4 роки тому +56

    The king rises out of the bath T-posing with a laminated sheet of paper in one hand.

  • @SwansingerLJG
    @SwansingerLJG 4 роки тому +63

    “As you go to say no, you say yes instead.”
    see I know this is a joke but I’ve had games where this actually happened. apparently there was just always a mindlfayer or aboleth or some other creature with mind control offscreen that happened to have a vested interest in us playing a linear video game instead of dnd.

    • @haku8135
      @haku8135 3 роки тому +8

      A nearby Divination wizard gives you ones.

    • @claire3614
      @claire3614 3 роки тому +6

      No mindflayer involved, this deadass fucking happened to me today. The dm was narrating to us our actions and he got to how I was healing random npc number 5 using my spellslots and I said that my character wouldn't do something like that because they didn't know the guy at all to begin with, and he said "you like this guy a lot because he's a cool dude and has tattoos, you like this guy so much! and just kept goin and told me to roll a medicine check.

    • @justsayin...1158
      @justsayin...1158 3 роки тому

      I don't know, I kinda get, when a DM does that in some circumstances. When the players just refuse to go on the one adventure the DM has prepared for the session for example, then I'd see how that may happen. I personally wouldn't do that, I'd rather stop the game and talk to my players, but you know... not everyone wants to break the immersion like that.
      In other cases, I don't understand why someone would do that. If the players don't have a choice, then don't pretend to give them one. Like, what's the point?

    • @claire3614
      @claire3614 3 роки тому

      @@justsayin...1158 okay, hold on, back up. That’s just the worst kind of DMing possible. If a DM has a railroaded plan that the characters have to follow no matter what, if said DM go as far as to stop the game when they try to get creative and play outside what the DM planed to admonish them is just... do you really don't get it? The DM controls everything, the world building, the NPCs, the main quest, the side quests, everything you can possibly think of is up to the DM... except of course the characters. Because if you gather a bunch of people to supposedly play dnd and turns out you just want actors to read the script you already wrote for them... just write a book and let players have agency.
      (To be clear, I'm not talking about players just being rude, throwing the quest in front of them out the window and trying to set the world on fire. You should stop that because they're trying to fuck with the dm, but that's clearly a very different story than railroading.)

    • @justsayin...1158
      @justsayin...1158 3 роки тому +2

      @@claire3614 I think there is a misunderstandment here. I don't mean to railroad the entire game. I am talking specifically about when players refuse to go on the quest for the game. How they complete the quest is up to them. But they always always ALWAYS have to start the quest. And I think if a DM is allowed to address the murder hobo in the group, to not be a murder hobo anymore, the DM should be allowed to address when players refuse to start the adventure. Both are disruptive playstyles which get the game nowhere. And I don't mean to say that players always have to immediately start the quest for the game. It is completely okay, to have some roleplay in town or whatever the players like to do before going on the actual adventure. But there should be a general awareness for where the game is supposed to be going and to at least try to complete the goal. Especially in a oneshot scenario where there is typically just one quest the players can go on.

  • @Dead25m
    @Dead25m 3 роки тому +5

    I'd love The King as a "monster", and he's there to trick/lure you onto a railroad path that's actually a hallucination by having you accept his quest, where you're trapped in an extremely linnear story where you can almost not make any moves that go against the story, and the way to beat it is if you succeed wis checks to first notice it's an actual hallucination, and then wis checks to try and deviate from the story, derailing the story in any way that ruins the plot will kill The King and set you free.

  • @chrisrolnaldo1221
    @chrisrolnaldo1221 3 роки тому +7

    The sight laughs at the end of cuts totally made me laugh so much harder than if they stayed perfectly in character

  • @adaschmidt9150
    @adaschmidt9150 4 роки тому +65

    “rising out of the water is the king” got me so good

  • @tom-esvar
    @tom-esvar 4 роки тому +17

    The moment he was like "can we say no?!" I had heavy flashbacks to a game that was so heavily railroaded that at some points when we left the tracks too much the DM would just make the protagonist of his books appear and tell us we had to go the other way.
    "Can we say no?!"
    No, no you can't

  • @primeemperor9196
    @primeemperor9196 4 роки тому +316

    Ok, imma take a bath now.
    King: *rises from bath water* Hello there

    • @dogger3450
      @dogger3450 4 роки тому +31

      General Kenobi

    • @christianrose9166
      @christianrose9166 4 роки тому +22

      General Kenobi!

    • @JoicPersonal
      @JoicPersonal 4 роки тому +19

      General Kenobi, you are a bold one.

    • @salmanmahyuddin8384
      @salmanmahyuddin8384 4 роки тому +7

      Good thing everybody recognised the king

    • @JoicPersonal
      @JoicPersonal 4 роки тому +3

      @@salmanmahyuddin8384 Assuming Jacob was playing a Male character, it's a good thing the DM decided the ruler of that town to be Male.

  • @magnusberge
    @magnusberge 3 роки тому +7

    My first D&D experience was with a DM like this, so it completely killed any intrest i had in the game. Many years later i was asked by my friends if i could teach myself how to DM and then be there first D&D experience. I made sure to allways have a opend mind for what my players wanted to do, within reason ofc.

  • @kaliek5281
    @kaliek5281 4 роки тому +17

    "As you go to say NO you say YES instead."
    "N...N...N...NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNYES!"

  • @jacksonschumacher175
    @jacksonschumacher175 4 роки тому +36

    I had a dm once that railroaded but he didnt narrate everything like that. Oh no it was so much worse, he gave us either one option or maybe two and if we choose the wrong option he said that nothing was there. An example is that he said there was a hallway where you can either turn left or right. we went left and he said there was nothing there, like we took 5 steps and we already hit the dead end. And when someone thought of a interesting unconventional solution he said uhhh no it doesnt work and gave no explanation. The absolute worst thing he did was tell us to kill something but the npc wouldnt tell us what it was even though he saw it fought it and failed. It was a dragon and TPKd us in one turn. OH and I forgot we were lvl 3 when fighting against that dragon

    • @hossdelgado626
      @hossdelgado626 4 роки тому +5

      I recently joined a campaign, the other players all had guns and futuristic stuff and were allowed some homebrew and other source books. The DM told me and my friend "you can get to uncommon magic items I will approve or deny them, you can use homebrew for race but not class, and use player handbook with roll stats for character creation on the rest... he pitted us against a horde of goblins and orks at lvl3 with 3 players for session 0, session 1 was all but 2 of a 6 person dnd group (players, DM made 7) vs 8 cyborg minataurs.. and then we fought a fucking silver dragon juvenile at lvl 4.. it flew high up and just out of reach of our spells, but not out of range of the guns, then it got in close and dodged a modded 16 and nat18 to hit, but the 2 "natural" 19's did hit... they then killed it.. and my dm won't DM because I was playing a myconid he approved and used animating spores racial ability to move the Dragon corpse closer to town because encunmberence rules. He told me I ruined the game....

    • @haku8135
      @haku8135 3 роки тому

      @@hossdelgado626 .........Well I guess my question is, how the fuck did you even stay past session 0?
      My idea of a session 0 at level 3 with 2 players is like, a couple goblins maybe? I'd even take some SUPER dangerous guy that you clearly need to escape from, set things up. A HORDE of Goblins AND ORCS? Either the guns make it a cake walk or it's FUCKING MENTAL. Either he's shit at balancing or he's just throwing shit at you, what the actual fuck?

    • @hossdelgado626
      @hossdelgado626 3 роки тому

      @@haku8135 Its the later honestly. That and hedfudge rollsfor his close friends. My myconid was a druid and I went with circle of spores (he approved this) my two uncommon magic items were a pair of flying boots and a pyroconverger (I'm sorry I forgot the real name of the boots). If I hadn't wanted to have a flamethrower we'd have party wiped tbh on session 0. We ran to a choke point and I used it three times down the point to kill as many as I could, then, if I'm remembering right my friend tanked as a barbarian while I prepared Heat Metal and the ranger or was it a monk? Did what they could. Against the minataurs I used mold earth to dig a hole as to not die instantly from a charge, our minmaxed barbarian friend took th eff m head on (we got a belt of storm giant strength or whatever for surviving session 0... yeah, he realized it was unfair, he thought we'd give it to a mage for decent str checks... nope storm barbarian Throg.. yeah the Thor frog is what he was playing as a barbarian. With Kermit voice). Everything we tried on the dragon just simply wouldn't work but the ranger with a bow and the two with guns.

    • @hossdelgado626
      @hossdelgado626 3 роки тому

      It was fucked, but it's in the past. I've lost contact with everyone else involved and don't play much DnD after I tried to dm and lost my group of friends over an argument. I tried one session with my brother and his friend, but they didn't care and I've realized I am not a dm, not even a good player if I'm honest. I hope you enjoyed laughing about it, or at least it didn't make you upset or anything. Have a good one.

  • @Dogsplaza
    @Dogsplaza 4 роки тому +60

    “the king rises out of the water."
    He's the King of All Cosmos!
    Katamari Damacy theme song starts playing...

    • @charlieterry8506
      @charlieterry8506 4 роки тому +5

      NAAAaaaa
      Na Na Na Na na na na
      Katamari Damacy

  • @summermermaidstar756
    @summermermaidstar756 4 роки тому +45

    Times when you need the eldritch spam warlock, and the fire ballin wizard Bigdickwizard6969 to use their magic to blow up everything around.
    Better dead or in ye ol' jail, then on a railroad.

    • @nairocamilo
      @nairocamilo 4 роки тому +4

      But a railroad DM is one powerful being, just like the fireball Wizard...
      That's a battle I'd like to witness.

    • @summermermaidstar756
      @summermermaidstar756 4 роки тому +3

      @@nairocamilo this needs to be a skit

    • @proxy90909
      @proxy90909 4 роки тому +4

      "I cast fireball"
      "The king raises from the water and cast counter spell"

    • @no-eyes1275
      @no-eyes1275 4 роки тому

      @@proxy90909 if that dose not be in the skit ima -die- forget how to live

  • @shojodraws3399
    @shojodraws3399 3 роки тому +1

    I like to imagine the king just starts off all his diplomatic meetings by scaring the crap out of his visitors but just randomly arising in their bathtubs.

  • @nevik2950
    @nevik2950 2 роки тому +2

    I have been in campaigns like this. The DM later stated that a DMs job is to get the characters to do what he wants them to. He was confused when I told him otherwise.

  • @catanoxunleashed6959
    @catanoxunleashed6959 4 роки тому +44

    This just makes me mad because this is EXACTLY what my DM is doing.

  • @Total_DuDe
    @Total_DuDe 4 роки тому +9

    2:12
    He rose out of the water telling you of the land's troubles to the tune of "Big and Chunky" from Madagascar Escape 2 Africa

  • @lazyarcanist7095
    @lazyarcanist7095 4 роки тому +23

    We found our housemates dm notes once and the whole thing was "the party will do this, and roll this check. If they succeed, they do this and if they fail, they do that". And I was told that if u tried to open a door u weren't supposed to, he would say its locked. And u couldn't pick it.

    • @nairocamilo
      @nairocamilo 4 роки тому +23

      There was this one adventure where my players entered a mansion uninvited and were held by the butler (non aggressively) on the foyer while the master (a doctor) got home.
      The rogue took advantage of one of the characters asking for a cup of water and went straight for the only door that didn't have a room inside (in which to say, I didn't prepare).
      I just told him "You unfortunately can't pick the lock of this door, as you look inside through the keyhole and notices that the DM didn't prepare a room tile... You do, however, notices that this other door full of interesting things has been opened."

    • @proxy90909
      @proxy90909 4 роки тому +10

      @@nairocamilo Sometimes you just gotta be real with your players

    • @nairocamilo
      @nairocamilo 4 роки тому +8

      @@proxy90909 Break immersion, not the trust

    • @dylanbednarz4430
      @dylanbednarz4430 4 роки тому +1

      @@nairocamilo why couldn't the dm just move the stuff one room into the room the rogue was checking

  • @filipeisabelinho3425
    @filipeisabelinho3425 2 роки тому +5

    The Kings mage probably hás a lot of questions as to why he'd want to be teleported to the bathhouse's pool Xd to save Felrond ofc!

  • @tommydavidson4608
    @tommydavidson4608 3 роки тому +16

    He's basically just reading them a story at that point lol

  • @janelantestaverde2018
    @janelantestaverde2018 4 роки тому +49

    Paladin: "Okay, can we tell him no?"
    Oath: "As you go to say no, you say yes instead."

  • @AnneIglesias
    @AnneIglesias 4 роки тому +13

    Railroading was my first role-playing experience (MtA). Needless to say, I didn’t touch D&D for like five years after that. “As you go to say no, you say yes instead” rings especially true, as silly as it is portrayed.

  • @baileymorton4116
    @baileymorton4116 4 роки тому +13

    Sounds like they’re playing Hoard of the Dragon Queen

  • @TurtleSquirrles
    @TurtleSquirrles 2 роки тому +3

    The paper is laminated 😂😂😂 I’m wheezing

  • @jacksonashby7819
    @jacksonashby7819 4 роки тому +5

    That reminds me of the time when the dm tried to control everything we did and got mad when our characters couldn't do it. Like go figure a barbarians don't usually have magic and wizards suck at being the attention of all the enemies attacks

  • @robweb2928
    @robweb2928 4 роки тому +151

    The trick to any story is to let people feel as if there are infinant paths and trails, but in reality to make all paths lead to more or less the same destination.
    Addendum: This is much the same as life. We think we are taking alternate routes and blazing our own trail, but in the end we always come back to our road.

    • @swaggin9535
      @swaggin9535 4 роки тому +17

      I know this probably makes me a crappy dm but i do this all the time.

    • @adwitatherealadwita
      @adwitatherealadwita 4 роки тому +26

      Ah yes, the classic Telltale route.

    • @guyvingelli9046
      @guyvingelli9046 4 роки тому +7

      I like how well you just described Minecraft Story Mode Rob.

    • @robweb2928
      @robweb2928 4 роки тому +27

      @@swaggin9535 no it's just proper story telling. Unexpected events should be accounted for but you can't have a deep and complex story while also having the perfect sandbox. The trick is to have multiple different pit stops where you can have the players choices matter, preferably at points of high narrative weight or as a subtle call back. Depending on the action.

    • @robweb2928
      @robweb2928 4 роки тому +21

      @@guyvingelli9046 the problem with this method in vidoe games is that you can replay vidoe games. You can't replay a dnd campaign. Or at least you don't usually

  • @SharkyShocker
    @SharkyShocker 4 роки тому +78

    Gotta find that perfect in the middle scenario.
    "You begin your adventure in a tavern" "Uhhh.... okay................. I guess I talk to the bartender or something."
    "You begin your adventure in a tavern as you see a bunch of bandits outside steal money from a woman. You all chase after them as you follow them into the sewers. There, you continue down your path until you find their hideout and find that the bandit leader wishes to acquire your skills as mercenaries. You all accept as you go to take out one of the rich nobles that have been raising taxes on the people. There, you find that it is heavily guarded and to be able to get in you'll have to sneakily...................................... ................................................................ at this point your characters end up gaining a level as the Monk takes the Shadow Monk Subclass, the Fighter takes the Eldritch Knight Subclass, the Barbarian takes the Totem Subclass but chooses the Eagle, and then finally the Sorcerer gets their metamagic abilities. At this point the Prince approaches you as he has a request. He believes that............................."
    "You begin in a tavern as a band of mercenaries as you've been hired to guard this tavern. It's believed that bandits may attack tonight and as such, you all now sit together and watch as the sun sets. You have two rooms on the second floor and the Tavern keeper, who is currently at the bar, has said that if you need anything to ask her. What would you like to do?"

    • @haku8135
      @haku8135 3 роки тому +10

      Good idea, just gonna be the Jester here.
      "It's funny that you said to find the middle scenario but the good scenario is at the end"
      *Draws dick on tavern table*

  • @yeetawheat5792
    @yeetawheat5792 4 роки тому +306

    Theory:the king is secretly a god that can teleport and read minds, when jacob thought of going in the stall, the king teleported underneath the water
    Edit:Thank you guys for all of the likes, i will add them to my collection

    • @wnnfs9423
      @wnnfs9423 4 роки тому +7

      Personally I believe him to be some sort of half Djinni or 20th level wizard of some kind.

    • @yeetawheat5792
      @yeetawheat5792 4 роки тому +3

      @@wnnfs9423 or it is from the G fuel

    • @sylph8005
      @sylph8005 4 роки тому +1

      @@wnnfs9423 He could be a marid, since they're water genies

    • @nairocamilo
      @nairocamilo 4 роки тому

      Steve from BigTop Burger?

    • @proxy90909
      @proxy90909 4 роки тому +5

      Hes a divination wizard trying to save the world before the evil happens

  • @peaceandloveusa6656
    @peaceandloveusa6656 2 роки тому +2

    Making the railroaded path use an actual railroad was so obvious and so brilliant at the same time. This is my favorite XP to Level 3 video by far. I was cracking up the whole time.

  • @iforgotaname6770
    @iforgotaname6770 Рік тому +1

    that rising out of the water thing made me spit soup everywhere