I moved out back in June of ‘23 and it’s been so peaceful ever since. I still play and active role in my kids lives and openly communicate I’d like things to work out. I’m doing the work to improve, heal and grow.
Separation equal time to reflect and see if there is still hope to make it work or let go! Never give up but it takes two people to make a marriage work!!!
Thank you Kimberly for this video, as this is near and dear to my heart. Separation is hard, but we can do hard things. We are strong, and separation does not mean my life is over. Thankful for the community I have found in marriage helper. You all are a real blessing. Thank you sweet Kimberly for all you do!😊🫶🏼
Im trying to save my marriage. I became fully focused on saving it when I gave up my life to Jesus Christ. I truly believe that it's his plan. Thank you I'm experiencing all of these stuff.
Why is marriage hard? Life is hard and relationships take skills. Do you truly value your spouse? Remember you can only control you. Two wrongs don't make a right. Be safe, be healthy. No excuses. Confusion is of the adversary. Be strong in the L-rd. 🙏
I had to put my husband out because he was meeting up with a younger woman over months and I just couldn’t put up with his behaviour. I love my husband of 36 years and I don’t want to let him go. He seems to think the grass is greener on the other side and I just feel heartbroken. 💔
My husband just left a month ago, be huh each other every time we see each other, no fights but I don't feel his love for me. I want to save my marriage.
My wife and I are in the middle of a divorce, live separate split the kids up too, my eldest kid and I moved out, my younger kids are with me 50% of the time. My wife's lawyer reached out and said she wants to reconcile after she does more therapy.
That’s great news. How long were you married for? How long have you been separated? Is there a fair partners involved? My wife is seeing a psychiatrist and 20 months into this. She seems to be changing for the better. Is there anything you can recommend that facilitated this reconciliation to you, keep praying I love hearing about success stories
Every video you do, after 3or4 minutes, you talk about your relationship for the remainder of the video, I’ve heard that story countless times, you’ve spent the last however many years making the same exact video.
My wife of 21 years and I had a rough couple of years and need some help. We had lost the connection and we were arguing. So she chose to have an emotional affair, moved out and last October and started having a physical affair and know her affair partner is living with her. I did Marriage Helper Save My Marriage, but I think my wife is in too deep. I know that her affair relationship won't last, but its really disturbing watching her act like this guy is her forever after and how fast the affair relationship is moving. Hope and pray.
I'm curious how long has it been? Most of us guys after discovering our wives cheating end up divorcing after 3-5 years. We try, and we pray, like you are, but we just give up. I'll pray for you.
How old is your wife? was she suffering from depression and anxiety? Was there a history of depression on her side of the family? For what it’s worth it’s very common what you are experiencing that doesn’t exactly help but. Sounds like limerance is involved if you don’t know what that is familiarize yourself with it. Affairs are typically a good indication of depression when someone is seeking out a new relationship Limerence plays a role. It gives them a lot of feel good chemicals in their brain stuff like dopamine oxytocin and endorphins. These chemicals provide them with relief from depression. I’m assuming your wife is in her 40s so perimenopause and menopause are playing a role in it if this is the case was there any recent traumas was there any childhood emotional neglect before she turned 10 all of the things I mentioned are a recipe for Midlife crisis, which is also known as depression childhood emotional neglect isn’t always obvious as well especially if you have a parent who is depressed and not emotionally available. I am praying for you to have full reconciliation I know and feel your pain. God bless.
The problem is my wife is a DA so she wont work on her self at all. She's convinced im the problem. She has a rude awakening coming when she finally realizes her faults..by then i will be long gone
Do you have kids involved? It only takes one person to turn it around. I truly believe that I am in the same shoe as you my wife is a DEA as well. You can turn it around, but it’s gonna have to require you doing the majority of the work I hope it all works out for you.
I don’t know he has found someone else or not. After a small argument he left me 2.5 months ago. I reached out a few times to sort out. He said he needs to cool down. Now he on vacation and doesn’t want me to know where he goes and who he goes with. I am having bad anxiety, broken and fears for my relationship over. Please guide me what my next steps ❤
After my wife's adultery there was turmoil in the house, obviously. She suggested that we have a healing separation and I was convinced, and still am, that she just wanted a vacation from dealing with her cheating. I was offended and moved to divorce not long after. If she's not doing the work, I'm not doing a separation. Total joke. And I would say that divorce ends the marriage, but it doesn't end the relationship. You can still marry each other again.
I am trying to cling to my savior throughout this excruciating separation for my beloved husband and I can’t find peace, I think I am the only one going through this kind of pain. I am amazed of how many of us are going through the same.
@@OlgaSmirnova1 I watch marriage reconciliation testimonies and videos, I watch Steven Furtick with Elevation Church and other Pastors, and I watch and listen to modern Christian music, which is more hopeful than older Christian music and most other music, period. I pray a LOT... something like fourteen hours per day, and I have the Lord's peace, the Lord's endurance, and the Lord's strength so I can continue to stand. This is not easy, it's not meant to be, but you can do this. God bless and keep you in His holy embrace and give you all you need to stand for your marriage. Amen.
@@wolfsden thank you brother! Listen to this beautiful Hymn, “ Great is thy faithfulness” I trust that this separation will make me change to the woman the Lord wants me to be. I haven’t been a good wife.
@@OlgaSmirnova1 Find out how blessed you are in God, who HE says you are, not who you or anyone else says you are. You are a daughter of God and so many other awesome things! Once you know WHO YOU ARE in God's eyes, the rest of your world will begin to change.
well, my wife separated from my (packed her things and took the dog) from my house last November. Our court date is set for February. it seems like the end. I tried everything you guys suggested. followed the self improvement(PIES), gave her space. let time do its thing, did my own thing for a little bit, but nothing worked. I don’t know what this means and am currently lost to be honest. I want to fix things and I want to give it time but I fear that it’s dead and gone. I don’t know what to do anymore.
Focus on you, not saving your marriage. Love is a falling action, not something that is forced. It’s like trying to fall asleep by thinking about falling asleep. Let go and be your best self. That’s how to save it.
any guy going back after a separation is needy and in most cases it only gets worse down the road not better, females dont respect you and i see guys all the time being puppy dogs because that is their status in the relationship
how about deperation due to wife emotional affair (with colleague)? i have ask for seperation, she doesnt want seperation but she doesnt see what she is doing is wrong and continue to see each other even after work even after i set the boundary.
She doesn't care about your feelings anymore. How do you know her affair was only emotional if she explicitly continue seeing her AP!? Get a devorce lawyer and respect yourself
Currently I am separated from my husband! He became verbal and emotionally abusive! Tried talking With him for us to get help he never listens to me! We don’t communicate! I was forced to leave with the kids due to my health started failing, I was diagnosed of Anxiety! It’s been month we left not a word from him. Now the kids are always crying and asking after thier father They want us to go back. It’s dragging my emotions. What do I do?
Why would you want a man who hasn’t spoken to you all for a month? Please go work on yourself and be the best Mom you can be. Help your kids accept the truth of your situation and get them counseling as well. I pray you’re part of a faith community and have family and friends around you all as well. You’re better off living in truth and free from abuse. 💜🙏
"Why would you want a man who hasn't spoken to you in a month?" The answer should be obvious! And you're missing a huge piece of the puzzle here; he's hurting, too. In a different way, but he is. No contact is typically a defense mechanism to cover the guilt and/or shame of what they are doing or, it's a way to keep their resolve, because if they were to face their spouse they may begin to second guess their decisions.
The best thing you can do is focus on you and your kids. You cannot control what he is doing but you don't have to put up with abuse of any nature. It may be a defense mechanism (while my H was in his affair he got abusive a few times too and it got bad, he was NEVER like that before) when he came out of limerance things got much better as he started working on us and past his guilt. You cannot MAKE your husband come home nor can you make him be a better person, the good news is you can do better for you. Work on your PIES and Smart contact with your husband and shine bright! It is hard but it will be okay. So sorry for your pain
Bull ahit advise. Sexless marriage for 10 years. My wife advise I am not worthy of any itmamcy. I am no longer going to unhappy and felt unwanted..no winning in making marriage better.I waste 10yeara of my wife. She very selfish and is on 2nd treatment for cancer. I have forgot and lonely. Time to stop the insanity
I moved out back in June of ‘23 and it’s been so peaceful ever since. I still play and active role in my kids lives and openly communicate I’d like things to work out. I’m doing the work to improve, heal and grow.
Separation equal time to reflect and see if there is still hope to make it work or let go! Never give up but it takes two people to make a marriage work!!!
Thank you Kimberly for this video, as this is near and dear to my heart. Separation is hard, but we can do hard things. We are strong, and separation does not mean my life is over. Thankful for the community I have found in marriage helper. You all are a real blessing. Thank you sweet Kimberly for all you do!😊🫶🏼
Im trying to save my marriage. I became fully focused on saving it when I gave up my life to Jesus Christ. I truly believe that it's his plan. Thank you I'm experiencing all of these stuff.
@@Islander_Selva what happen next?
@@kippstv9831 it didn't work out
Yes, what happened next?
Update
Emwhy do people post and bever reply back. Its not like your not getting these notification. Reply back.
Why is marriage hard? Life is hard and relationships take skills. Do you truly value your spouse? Remember you can only control you. Two wrongs don't make a right. Be safe, be healthy. No excuses. Confusion is of the adversary. Be strong in the L-rd. 🙏
I had to put my husband out because he was meeting up with a younger woman over months and I just couldn’t put up with his behaviour. I love my husband of 36 years and I don’t want to let him go. He seems to think the grass is greener on the other side and I just feel heartbroken. 💔
Keep fighting! Praying for you sister 🙏🏾
We all know the grass isn't green. Be calm and fight for what you believe in!
I am trying too but it’s very nerve wracking 😟
@@Rob-ru3htfight for a cheater?!
Don’t let him treat you like a doormat. Get your power back
Could you please do a video about in-home separation, especially with kids in the picture? @Marriagehelper
“Do not be anxious…” - aka: calm down.
PREACH!!!! ✨🧡✋😭🤚🧡✨
My husband just left a month ago, be huh each other every time we see each other, no fights but I don't feel his love for me. I want to save my marriage.
@amarilis71 I feel your pain. My wife moved out two months ago. This is so painful. I will pray for you for restoration. God bless you!
There’s always hope 🙏🏾
I'm in a similar boat. My husband left a year ago.
@@kellyhanson4462 This sucks but we are all in this boat together. Hope all of get what we deserve.
Am separate yes we want save the marriage.
I left my wife a week ago..... its literally been the best week of my life.... no regrets...
Thanks so much for sharing your history and your knowledge ❤
My wife and I are in the middle of a divorce, live separate split the kids up too, my eldest kid and I moved out, my younger kids are with me 50% of the time. My wife's lawyer reached out and said she wants to reconcile after she does more therapy.
That’s great news. How long were you married for? How long have you been separated? Is there a fair partners involved? My wife is seeing a psychiatrist and 20 months into this. She seems to be changing for the better. Is there anything you can recommend that facilitated this reconciliation to you, keep praying I love hearing about success stories
I love listening to your story
Every video you do, after 3or4 minutes, you talk about your relationship for the remainder of the video, I’ve heard that story countless times, you’ve spent the last however many years making the same exact video.
My wife of 21 years and I had a rough couple of years and need some help. We had lost the connection and we were arguing. So she chose to have an emotional affair, moved out and last October and started having a physical affair and know her affair partner is living with her.
I did Marriage Helper Save My Marriage, but I think my wife is in too deep.
I know that her affair relationship won't last, but its really disturbing watching her act like this guy is her forever after and how fast the affair relationship is moving.
Hope and pray.
I'm curious how long has it been? Most of us guys after discovering our wives cheating end up divorcing after 3-5 years. We try, and we pray, like you are, but we just give up. I'll pray for you.
How old is your wife? was she suffering from depression and anxiety? Was there a history of depression on her side of the family? For what it’s worth it’s very common what you are experiencing that doesn’t exactly help but. Sounds like limerance is involved if you don’t know what that is familiarize yourself with it. Affairs are typically a good indication of depression when someone is seeking out a new relationship Limerence plays a role. It gives them a lot of feel good chemicals in their brain stuff like dopamine oxytocin and endorphins. These chemicals provide them with relief from depression. I’m assuming your wife is in her 40s so perimenopause and menopause are playing a role in it if this is the case was there any recent traumas was there any childhood emotional neglect before she turned 10 all of the things I mentioned are a recipe for Midlife crisis, which is also known as depression childhood emotional neglect isn’t always obvious as well especially if you have a parent who is depressed and not emotionally available. I am praying for you to have full reconciliation I know and feel your pain. God bless.
I have faith my marriage will be restored ❤
Would your advice work for marriage after a divorce final decree ?
until when do we hope for a reconciliation?
I feel that this implies to conflict in general. I am not in separation bur felt I learnt a lot; support your partner i her fallen state.
The problem is my wife is a DA so she wont work on her self at all. She's convinced im the problem. She has a rude awakening coming when she finally realizes her faults..by then i will be long gone
Do you have kids involved? It only takes one person to turn it around. I truly believe that I am in the same shoe as you my wife is a DEA as well. You can turn it around, but it’s gonna have to require you doing the majority of the work I hope it all works out for you.
I don’t know he has found someone else or not. After a small argument he left me 2.5 months ago. I reached out a few times to sort out. He said he needs to cool down.
Now he on vacation and doesn’t want me to know where he goes and who he goes with.
I am having bad anxiety, broken and fears for my relationship over.
Please guide me what my next steps ❤
After my wife's adultery there was turmoil in the house, obviously. She suggested that we have a healing separation and I was convinced, and still am, that she just wanted a vacation from dealing with her cheating. I was offended and moved to divorce not long after. If she's not doing the work, I'm not doing a separation. Total joke. And I would say that divorce ends the marriage, but it doesn't end the relationship. You can still marry each other again.
This sounded like codependency. But at least she wasn't abusive like my wife became.
Sarah and I are already separated, so although I will want to watch this video once the Lord has reconciled us, it's not for me, now.
I am trying to cling to my savior throughout this excruciating separation for my beloved husband and I can’t find peace, I think I am the only one going through this kind of pain. I am amazed of how many of us are going through the same.
@@OlgaSmirnova1 I watch marriage reconciliation testimonies and videos, I watch Steven Furtick with Elevation Church and other Pastors, and I watch and listen to modern Christian music, which is more hopeful than older Christian music and most other music, period. I pray a LOT... something like fourteen hours per day, and I have the Lord's peace, the Lord's endurance, and the Lord's strength so I can continue to stand. This is not easy, it's not meant to be, but you can do this. God bless and keep you in His holy embrace and give you all you need to stand for your marriage. Amen.
@@wolfsden thank you brother! Listen to this beautiful Hymn, “ Great is thy faithfulness” I trust that this separation will make me change to the woman the Lord wants me to be. I haven’t been a good wife.
@@OlgaSmirnova1 Find out how blessed you are in God, who HE says you are, not who you or anyone else says you are. You are a daughter of God and so many other awesome things! Once you know WHO YOU ARE in God's eyes, the rest of your world will begin to change.
Can I get an advise?
well, my wife separated from my (packed her things and took the dog) from my house last November. Our court date is set for February. it seems like the end. I tried everything you guys suggested. followed the self improvement(PIES), gave her space. let time do its thing, did my own thing for a little bit, but nothing worked. I don’t know what this means and am currently lost to be honest. I want to fix things and I want to give it time but I fear that it’s dead and gone. I don’t know what to do anymore.
Focus on you, not saving your marriage. Love is a falling action, not something that is forced. It’s like trying to fall asleep by thinking about falling asleep. Let go and be your best self. That’s how to save it.
Focus on self…maybe u pushed her away even more by doing all of that work FOR HER & not for you!
My husband said to me he is fall out of love with me and wer on Separation i want to save my marriage
He doesn’t love you n that way anymore. Move along
any guy going back after a separation is needy and in most cases it only gets worse down the road not better, females dont respect you and i see guys all the time being puppy dogs because that is their status in the relationship
My husband is in a mid life crisis and felt the urge to leave us. What to do during a spouses MLC? Is it the same?
Same boat here, and it's the worst. Mines been in his MLC for over a year now and wants to leave too.
how about deperation due to wife emotional affair (with colleague)? i have ask for seperation, she doesnt want seperation but she doesnt see what she is doing is wrong and continue to see each other even after work even after i set the boundary.
She doesn't care about your feelings anymore. How do you know her affair was only emotional if she explicitly continue seeing her AP!? Get a devorce lawyer and respect yourself
Currently I am separated from my husband!
He became verbal and emotionally abusive! Tried talking With him for us to get help he never listens to me!
We don’t communicate!
I was forced to leave with the kids due to my health started failing, I was diagnosed of Anxiety! It’s been month we left not a word from him.
Now the kids are always crying and asking after thier father
They want us to go back. It’s dragging my emotions. What do I do?
Why would you want a man who hasn’t spoken to you all for a month? Please go work on yourself and be the best Mom you can be. Help your kids accept the truth of your situation and get them counseling as well. I pray you’re part of a faith community and have family and friends around you all as well. You’re better off living in truth and free from abuse. 💜🙏
"Why would you want a man who hasn't spoken to you in a month?" The answer should be obvious! And you're missing a huge piece of the puzzle here; he's hurting, too. In a different way, but he is. No contact is typically a defense mechanism to cover the guilt and/or shame of what they are doing or, it's a way to keep their resolve, because if they were to face their spouse they may begin to second guess their decisions.
The best thing you can do is focus on you and your kids. You cannot control what he is doing but you don't have to put up with abuse of any nature. It may be a defense mechanism (while my H was in his affair he got abusive a few times too and it got bad, he was NEVER like that before) when he came out of limerance things got much better as he started working on us and past his guilt. You cannot MAKE your husband come home nor can you make him be a better person, the good news is you can do better for you. Work on your PIES and Smart contact with your husband and shine bright! It is hard but it will be okay. So sorry for your pain
That sounds horrible. Seek out help for the kid’s sake
@@sbg4ever120terrible counsel!! Go back to your husband if he repents, marriage is a sacred institution and God hates divorce!
Imo your wife wants separation so she can try out another relationship to see if it sticks. If not, she may come back. Definitely sucks.
When your husband has mental issues and can’t connect t and has been to therapy for years, no
Bull ahit advise. Sexless marriage for 10 years. My wife advise I am not worthy of any itmamcy. I am no longer going to unhappy and felt unwanted..no winning in making marriage better.I waste 10yeara of my wife. She very selfish and is on 2nd treatment for cancer. I have forgot and lonely. Time to stop the insanity