I have this sickening feeling that her brain injury wasn't that severe. The years of neglect and lack of brain stimulation probably caused significant damage. It's sad to think what could have been.
Natalie Carry no this is wrong and unfair. she was 8 when she went into care and her mum tried everything. they would have known her limitations at the time although her condition worsened obviously also it may be the case that of she was born now she would have had access to much better support and education which would have increased her potential that can't be helped as she wasn't. the family did what was expected of them, what was best for the other childeren and what they thought was right putting faith in the system. it was the system that failed her!
Emily I agree with Natalie Carry....I have worked at several homes and that has been the case with many many of the residents there. If they just would have taken time with their children they would have been better off then to be put in these homes where there really is not the staff needed to care for them. The last one I worked at...St Johns Villa in Carrollton, Ohio 44615. I was in house B which had 7 residents and 3 staff in the day and 2 staff at night. This may seem like a lot but we had 7 out of the 7: 1 was a runner, 1 was blind, 1 you have to supervise every minute due to them eating EVERYTHING in their sight. 1 was a one on one becoz they would wonder off, 1 was in a wheel chair and 1 could not verbally communicate. I however believe it was the father that had 0 TO NO patients with her. I believe the mum would have keep her and tried her best to help. Although we can not judge which I pray this is not coming across as judging becoz NOT ONE OF US can say what we would have done. You have no clue what its like until you go through the VERY same thing yourself. GOD BLESS JILL AND HER FAMILY ALWAYS and IN ALL WAYS ;)
They had normal lives just like our children would. Get up go to school or workshop until 250pm. Then do their homework etc then we would all eat dinner at around 4:30-5:00. Then just as normal families we would play board games, paint, color, watch tv, wash our clothes and so on. Now so of the residents were very heavly medicated which I think in so not all cases is a cop out to having to deal with them.It was on of the better homes I worked in,
I also noticed along with many other people in this comment section that she seemed much more alert as a young child vs an adult. It’s amazing what hard core neglect, drugs, and trauma can do to an individual
Honestly made me feel both angry and sad for her, she possibly would have been in a different state if she had not been abandoned by her family as a child. It's sad how people where taught to look at people with disabilities back then, just forget about them, have a new child
Everyone is bashing the mom. Sounds to me like it was dad that insisted on her being institutionalized. Seems as soon as he passed, they took Jill home. I believe dad wad basically embarrassed and that he did not want Jill to be talked about ever again. Don't judge the mom, who knows what the situation was with 2 children and a home to support. This happened in the early 70's as Jill was born in 1964. So easy to say what you would do, but you are not in their shoes.
Ginger Snaps so the mom couldn't have visited Jill at least on holidays? Jill was raped and given unnecessary drugs and no one even checked to see if she was alive. Her parents could have visited her and not told extended family or friends.
Yes you are absolutely right. I just got a weird feeling from the dad like maybe he forbade the mother to go.. Maybe with consequences? Jill went through quite a lot AND all alone. Thankfully they decided to finally rescue her.
Agreed. Back then, it was unheard of for parents to keep a disabled child at home. Care homes were big bucks, and doctors often got kickbacks for pressuring parents to send their kids away. The mom may have been emotionally or even physically abused by her husband, and she certainly was pressured by everyone else around her. She seems like a very damaged person, herself. I'm sure she blames herself every single day. Jill seems happy now, but the mom will spend the rest of her life with the memories of what Jill went through, and will blame herself for every bit of it. Remember, back then there were no physical therapists, no home visiting social workers, no respite care, no help AT ALL. Nothing. If the mom had the support that is available today, I think it would have been a very different story.
I have had to stop this several times to get control of my emotions. Such a sad story. I'm so glad Jill is home and florishing. What a wonderful cousin and sister to help her regain her strength. Of course we could blame Father, Mother, the System, but let's look at the here and now and what is best going forward for Jill. I'm going back to finish the story. My God bless this family for the efforts to help Jill recover .
Little Jill was very animated when filmed, not what I would call severely handicapped. All those psychotropic drugs destroyed that and left her looking and acting much more disabled.
I'm speaking from a personal experience; If you notice how animated Jill was as a toddler and up until she went into the group home, you see a fairly "normal" and extremely happy little girl. Jill was even able to walk with the aid of her mother. Then, you see her after she's been in the group facility and she become almost expressionless, withdrawn and nonreactive to stimuli. This is because a brain, no matter how damaged, will continue to grow and develop motor skills, social skills, coordination skills, as long as there is LOVING interaction, just like she had been receiving at home. Conversely, the lack of emotional and loving support and interaction and normal social stimulation, causes the brain to literally stop growing in size and ability. The Pituitary gland, within the brain, which is responsible for producing HGH ( Human Growth Hormone ), is severely affected and causes the growth hormone output to almost completely cease. There is no longer the ability to make eye contact, which is the most basic form of human communication. She literally is living in her own world. I'm not judging the mother, but personally, I cannot understand how she could turn her baby over to strangers and allow her to fade away to almost a catatonic condition. Sadly, this can never be undone to any substantial level. Jill was born with brain damage, but most likely would have learned to walk, talk and even learn some routine skills, from which to earn money. So horribly sad!
I know you wrote this 7 years ago but this type of situation is something I have seen personally. Luckily Dan had some good luck on his side and ended up with us. Still keep thinking who he could of been if he came to us first. He was a sweet and beautiful soul.
yep, she regressed ! a lot. this girls story is A LOT like ''wheres molly'' documentary , she was seemed only mild disabled when very young, but after years of institution she BECAME severe. on a side note: the baby toys is so inappropriate, its not age appropriate, its been long proven even severely disabled folks DO age, mentally they are not eternal perpetual children.. and plus... also with time of being exposed and given age appropriate choice and opportunity they DO start to enjoy the more adult stuff... but yeah the baby toys..its not helping her be seen as a adult, and it as not affording her competence and the big thing is to always presume competence.. calling her Jilly and giving her nothing but baby toys IS NOT presuming competence its not giving her the chance to grow in her own way...
So the mum suspects she's pregnant but gets told she has cancer and doesn't go and visit her for another year. She has a great deal of making up to do. That's evil
That's so fucking disgusting that someone raped a person with special needs who has absolutely no ability to give consent or stand up for herself. I hope Jill can have the life she deserves with her mom and sister.
aamte It happens way too often. There are disabled people sexuality and physically abused, right now. All over the world. Sadly, often times by caretakers or family. The people supposed to be caring for them.
aamte it's actually incredibly common for people who are either physically or mentally disabled to be abused and/or raped. Very frequently people who are abusive get jobs working with people with disabilities because we are easy targets. I think most people who have to depend on carers have probably had at least one experience of being mistreated or taken advantage of in some way or another
Did anyone else notice that when Gills mum kissed her she didn't react, but when her sister gave her a kiss she went to hold her. Shows that despite having a mental disability, she can tell the difference between genuine affection and the forced (fake) affection she gets from her mother.
When I was little with my autism when I first got diagnosed my Dad would say I should go to a retard school. I would cry when my dad would say that to me; I still understood despite being 4 years old that it hurts when my dad says that. I may of been non verbal until I was six I cried when I understood being mis treated.
I know this is a 7 year old comment but I had to add. My "uncle" Dan who was a 2 year old in the mind used to hate my dad's gf because she acted like he was the grossest thing she ever saw. He was nonverbal but when your with someone nonverbal as long as I was I could understand how Dan was feeling. His stiff body language. The way he would look at me vs the anger in his eyes when he looked at her. He would huff and puff and genuinely act like a angry nonverbal baby around her. He loved me I treated him like a baby brother. I was the one of the only ones who could get him out of a tantrum. He could feel it. Even the other wards of the states. I saw it. These facilities where awful. Dan came from one before us. His mother showed up once the whole time. He used to in-hail food because the other clients used to steal his food. You give him a apple and its gone right away, core and all.
In some countries there are NO places. Get a grip lady. Its the familes responsibility they NEVER fucking visited her. The family NEVER visited her. THe SISTER did NOT GIVE A FUCK until she was over 40.
My son was born at 26 weeks and 6 days. Due to the extreme prematurity, he had a grade 3 interventricular hemmorage. Which caused hydrocephlus, which meant a shunt had to be placed. From the surgery, he contracted bacterial spinal meningitis. The infection caused him to have gran mal (sp) seizures. They lasted 20 mins or more. This was while he was still in the NICU at a children's hospital. During one epileptic episode, the gave him diazepam rectually. It stopped the seizure, but also shut down his respiratory system. 9 mins, no oxygen. He is now diagnoses as "moderately mentally retarded". He is now 20. This all went on in the first year of his life. He has had 22 brain surgeries. He is the light and love of my life. He knows nothing but kindness and love. Because he is truly an innocent, beautiful soul. He knows nothing of the evil of the world. I don't understand these parents. My son is not a burden. He is a God given gift. This breaks my heart. And makes me horrified at the thought of what could happen to my beautiful son when I am gone.
I just watched this film on Tubi and came here to express how important this documentary is. I am so glad that's Jill's story was told, and that she gets to now live a life with love. Her family truly loves her, and never stopped loving her. I have Autism and so do my children. I understand the self doubt Jill's mother must have felt when it was decided to send Jill away. But in the end, her family was capable of giving her all she really needed. We as a society need to give everyone, disabled or not, the basic needs emotionally and physicially to thrive. Our world has changed, humanity has evolved, we have made great advancements. And neuro divergent people and people with disabilities deserve a place in our world.
Just think if America actually funded that !! America's welfare support system is the exact reason Jill and tens of thousands of others are placed in care because there are not sufficient resources to help families keep them at home.
Whatever if they fund it or not parents stil need to want to do the efort there so much people doing it al there life whitout funding jills family were just happy to be rid of her
And for all you negatives out there, surely the point of this film is to highlight past beliefs, pressures and lack of support and resources. The guilt of a family that were misinformed, and the proof that a loving family is the best place for anyone with a disability...respect for them for sharing this story xxx
I feel so sad for Jill, and it's kind of sad to see her moms desperation to try and make up for years and years of not being there for her. I'm glad she's making an effort though... better late than never
Every individual with intellectually disabilities has the right to be given the tools that will allow them to develop to the highest level of independence of which they are capable. Anything less is a crime!
It makes me so sad that for 40 years no one visited Jill. She was alone with horrible treatment and no one to comfort her. I can't believe they even wanted to forget about her. I could never do that to someone. I'm the twin to someone who's extremely autistic and even though she can be difficult to deal with, I would never block out her existence.
I have worked in a facility that was run by the state. It was truly an essane asylum for high behavior Intellectually disabled adults. I have seen 1st hand sexual abuse reported it and nothing was done. The Stafford treated as poorly as the residence. If you know your child is going to be born with severe conditions please do the right thing. Pro choice.
That happened to me by different people. I have moderate autism. I try to dye. I had depression since I can remember. But when I was a kid I made imaginary friends, one including Jessica Two, a imaginary other self. I remember imagining her getting hit by a car. I escaped into a imaginary world and self h armed. I still depressed. I slightly have imaginary world with Addy, Bridget and Elsa. Trauma is very bad. I sad I not normal. I sad what happened. I sad this happened to her. I sorry for her and her family.
@@horsegirl2.012i think that’s the worst. Knowing you are not like others but not being able to do anything about it. I feel like an alien visitor to earth
My daughter has Cerebral Palsy. She was diagnosed at 18 months. She is profoundly physically disabled but fortunately, intellectually normal. First thing out of doctor's mouth after the diagnosis was that he recommended she be institutionalized because she will require full physical support for the rest of her life. They also recommended G-tube and other supports. I said no. 2 years ago she graduated high school with National Honor Society honors. She will never walk or sit by herself or even roll over BUT she has thrived beyond all her doctor's predictions! There is no way no how she would have ever reached her potential in an institution or group home. She will be taken care of in home until I take my last breath. After that, her sisters and brothers will provide all of her care (their insistence). Her dad bailed out long ago, he couldn't take it. She is the absolute joy of my life as are all my children and I couldn't imagine her not being at home. I too have heard of the rape crisis in group homes and I could never put her in the potential of harms way. Raising her was not easy and yes, it's a 24/7 commitment but it's my responsibility and my honor to do what is right by her. Jill's mother was weak and put her husband's wants first. For that, there is no amount of atonement for all the years of neglect and abandonment. "It was too painful to see her" is the absolute weakest excuse I've ever heard. Jill's mother was more disabled than her. The parents did wrong by both the girls.
I really do admire you for taking care of your child I have a brother he was born with PKU he was put in a home when he was 6 years old he died when he was 13 my father left us when I was 7 my mom had 5 children we had no car it was 3 to 4 hours from us where he was I got to see him maybe three times it really left an impact on me and my two sisters and other brother but we used to help my mom with him he was easy he didn't cry you just had to feed him and change him and he would play with Rattlers and he was a pleasure I remember very well helping to take care of him then I have another half brother he has cerebral palsy very severely I would say he's about 40 years old he has three sisters and they three of the girls take care of him he will never go in a home and this boy is hard work they have to lift him and pick him up but I respect you for taking care of your child cuz God only knows what happens to these children and these types of places but I cannot respect this woman she wants people to feel sorry for her her little girl didn't look all that severely retarded she is using an excuse it was too hard and too painful to go see her I cannot buy that she probably wants to sue the facility when you put your kit at a home like that you give up your rights they are awarded to the state the state can make decisions for the kids but this woman talkin here she wants people to feel sorry for her I feel sorry for the daughter who endured the pain of not being with her family and going through what she went through and I feel sorry for her sister I have no sorrow in my heart for the mother.
jillibeens57 Well said, very well said indeed and good on you for being a true mother, doing what it takes, no matter how hard, for your children. You are strong and brave and your children have learned so much by you working through rough patches. You're so very right, this mother (in the video) is more disabled then Jill and did her horribly wrong. There is no excuse for abandoning your child and forget she ever existed. It's selfish and cruel, no way around it.
she didnt look that severely disabled when she was younger..the institutionalization reallt stiffled her..the skin condition she had can also be brought on by stress!!! i worked in a state institution for several years horrible place.. so happy shes out and at home..she could have been aspirating because she was over medicated!!! how can you swallow when youre half asleep!
mary furnier I agree that institutions focus a lot on over medicating for sure. esp. back then... People don't have the same understanding or compassion as they do today... this is sad.
This is happening all the time. I was institutionalized for manic depression, and severe ocd. I wasnt allowed to do some of my ocd habits and a I freaked out and kicked a laundry basket. For that I was put on Thorazine for three months. I couldnt talk and i really dont remember much after a while. I was taken to a court hearing where the hospital was granted premission to medicate me agaisnt my well. They also applied to be put me on a really long legal hold so they could keep "Medicating Me". I dont remember how or what happen but my dad found out and fought to have me realesed. Who knows what would have happend if I stayed. It took me another two months to learn how to walk normally again and my shoulder and neck muscles where constantly stiff. That was nothing compared to this story. This s an absolute fucking nightmare. Nobody should be treated that way.
Nikki H, by having you heavily medicated, pharmaceutical companies and prescribers get rich, rich, rich. There are many pharmaceutical companies rewarding doctors with paid overseas holidays and cars, if they get as many patients as possible medicated. It is scandalous.
My county has mentioned to me that I can have my daughter placed after she turns 18. She has autism and schizophrenia, My response to that is "OVER MY DEAD BODY." Especially after seeing this I will never let those people talk me into that!!!!
Why didn't they pull her out of the home when they saw she was pregnant???? The first sign of something wrong she should have been taken home. I'm so angry at this family because it appears they didn't have financial barriers to caring for her or even visiting her often.
Dee N she was only taken out of the home after the father left the mother and back then mothers were homemakers. I suspect Jill was brought back home for monetary gain. Just my opinion.
+Miranda Baxter no, the father and mother divorced a year after they institutionalized jill...jill was brought back home after the father died and they gained legal custody of her, which the father had all these years. do you see the inside of the home they live in? they are not financially lacking, and they would gain nothing from bringing her home financially. the father and mother divorced a year after they put jill in a home, so his death wouldn't of provided financial gain for the ex wife of forty years either. it simply was that the father had the legal power to decide all jills care and when he died, the mother and sister regained that right and brought her home. while I find the fact that they left that girl in a abusive group home wrong, the financial gain part doesn't make sense.
So so sad.. Notice how the moms visit even after learning of her pregnancy didnt see her for over a year... Wow dont understand why she was put away..she could have learn so many things at home and a special needs school
Well done. You have given me a lot to think about. My brother-in-law is autistic and last year he lost his father and now we’re figuring out what will happen to him when his mother goes.I think I will fight for him, thank you.
This mother abandoned her child many years ago and now she wants to play "lioness" now she wants to be angry ? Please ! Where were you for a year, after you found out she was pregnant ? Why wasn't there an investigation ? Charges filed ? Yes, I believe she loves her but Jill needed more from her....
Kathryn Ellison Just think if you could do it to your child. Personally I couldn't and the whole thing about that being what was done at the time is bs. Plenty of people couldn't give 2 shits about pressure from others. That's still your kid!
I have a daughter with intellectual disability. Jill seemed fine, she could walk, socialise and show love. What Jill needed was therapy and patience, not an institution. This is disgusting and heartbreaking. Poor Jill.
I found this mom extremely unlikable. Not only did she abandon an innocent child. She KNEW her child was being raped and chose to leave her there. But now, she pretends to be full of rage and concern 20 years after the fact. If she cared she would have at the very minimum pulled her out of that facility when she suspected rape.
I used to work as a support worker for people who have learning disabilities, very much like Jill. Fortunately, the company I worked for treated the people VERY well, and I mean VERY well. They were not kept in institutions, though...it was regular houses where maybe 3 or 4 people lived and support staff were there 24/7. All staff were very well trained and vetted. I wish all places were the same, poor Jill.
I thought Bruno was sooo fabulous and sweet and I’m not even his mama but I felt so proud of this kid! These people are doing so much and I think everyone should be supporting and applauding them for their beautiful hearts and care. We all do the best we can and do what we think is best at the time. Xo
I feel so bad for jill. Shame on her parents for dumping her to rot in a home with no socialization. The brain is a use it or lose it organ. Imagine what Jill would have been like if she had been raised in her home.
I bet she's so mad at them for putting her in a home. People probably think she has nothing going on in her brain but I know she does. You can't trust anyone people are sick!
That mom literally abandoned her daughter... I don't care how she tries to justify it. She doesn't want to talk about it because she feels so guilty. I've visited and seen behind the scenes of similar "institutions" to what Jill was left in and if you genuinely care about your family member you obviously will visit them. That is a terrible mother. Her daughter went from running and playing like a normal child, with developmental delays, to being basically a vegetable and the family wanted nothing more than to forget she existed.
also, physical restraints (and chemical) should only be used by a doctor's order if the patient is capable of harming themselves in some way... and never long term. It never ceases to amaze me how fucked up the system actually is.
Sara you seem so compassionate.. I am just curious. I am a mentally disabled woman and in HS I was in special ed classes. How did you treat the special ed kids in HS? Because I recall MOST of my classmates were abusive to me. Very few treated me like a human being. I am wondering if you joined in or if you were a exception even at the time.
Catherine, hearing that really breaks my heart. Honestly, at the high school I attended you were the worst of the worst if you made fun of kids in special education. It could easily be your sibling or other family member and I think everyone did well to remember that! There are always those kids who feel the need to taunt and tease others but I would never take place in that sort of thing. I think it's the entire student body's responsibility to make sure everyone's high school experience is equally shitty, regardless of mental ability hahah!
CATHERINE BLAIR I have always stuck up for disabled kids, since very young age, and esp in high school I'm so sorry you were treated this way♡ I would have been there for you♡
I have autism and I sometimes fear of being sent to a facility for people like me, but I decided that it's best not to think about it and only have good aspirations in life.
wow its nice to see her laughing and happy. when I think about all the suffering she goes through, i think twice before complaining about my "miserable" life.. She's amazing
Why didn't take her out of the hospital when they found out she was pregnant??? Dang I would be busting people's butt just to find out who did!! Yet, that person still works there!!??
This anger and saddens me . I am an IA at a residential facility for children and adults with severe and profound physical a cognitive disabilities . I can honestly say the residents there are truly loved and well cared for .It sickens me to think that places like where Jill was placed exist. Those working in such places deserve to face harsh charges
My heart breaks for all involved. So many judging the mother, but as a mother of a child with a similar profile as Jill, the amount of pain, exhaustion and emotions parents of these children face is indescribable. I can relate to the mother’s mental breakdown and her feeling like she could not care for her child. It is clear Jill’s mom loves her dearly and trust me, the mother has been suffering since the moment she realized she had a disabled child. I found this video after a painful night with my child, feeling exhausted, defeated and so much more. This story is absolutely heartbreaking. I am so thankful Jill was able to be in the loving arms of her family after so much time alone. Jill is beautiful and strong. This video hit me so hard. Just feeling like I can’t care for my child sometimes and then worrying about her future. We need a society that supports these children and their caretakers. God bless this family and all in similar circumstances. I have hope through watching this story. Thank you
I totally agree. I don’t have any children of my own but I have worked as a caregiver for years and I’ve watched my boyfriends mom take care of her severely disabled 30 year old son with help from my boyfriend and me. It’s not even a full time job. It’s like 10 full time jobs. And now as a caregiver and nurse we have so much litigation happening where there’s zero room for error. You truly have to love caring too since the money is barely over minimum wage. I will never judge a parent with a disabled child for saying “I can’t do this alone anymore,I need help.”
Abortion is needed in cases like this. The caretakers of these people suffer greatly when their parents abandoned them. Not to mention the disabled person will suffer their entire life. Unfortunately here in America we are not compassion based or set up for these kind of people. They become products of the state. Money machines nothing more nothing less to the big corporations that own them.
Even from the first portion of the interview when she broke down after she was asked about her sister being sent away, it is clear she has true love for her sister. I am not so sure about her mother though.
Leer Wesen you think her Mom didn't love Jill? I think she has harnassed herself to deal with all the pain and sadness over the years as a way of protecting herself. not everyone deals with these things the same and if she seems cold then try to think that that may simply be the result of a survivalmechanism she has developed.
If her mom didn't love her she would have never taken her out of that horrible place..I know it was selfish to have put her in there years ago. But that was then, and you have to see what she is doing now. Also back then the attitude of people was so different. They just advised parents to send the kids to an institution and wash your hands of the whole thing. She was a young mother who let them all tell her that. But she corrected that decision and I personally am proud of her for that. And I am thrilled for Jill have made so much progress...
this mother is horrible. she abandoned her child and barely visited her, then complains about the terrible treatment in the institution. her child has surgery and she doesn't even visit! I can't believe the audacity of this woman. when jill was younger, she looked happy and vibrant. this mother has no one to blame for herself when it comes to Jill's demise.
Who dumps their 8 year old and doesn't bother to visit? That mother's got the nerve to blame entirely the care she was in. Where the hell was mom. If she had any connection with her daughter she could see that it's wasn't right.
What a profound story of a mothers redemption for institutionalizing a child. Jill loves her mother unconditionally and will always. This story of recovery deeply moved me. Thank you x
My son was born with cerebral palsy he is now 28 and teaches music at a charter school in California. He has lived independently for 10 years in his own apartment and his legs don’t work he walks with crutches and has motor issues. We never thought to relinquish him to anyone. We told him he can do anything in life. He’s an accomplished musician and a self aware human being as we always knew he was. We are unique, alive and know. Regardless of what others visualize as disabled, it is their own disconnect from their own humanity. Just saying think about life and how it adapts to this reality.👽👁❤️
so let me get this straight... After Jill was given an unnecessary hysterectomy to cover up the pregnancy by a rapist, then you decided to leave her in there and not visit her for another year? disgusting
+Beth Anderson The fact that the hysterectomy took place was bad enough. But why remove the ovaries? That is extremely bad, because it would have sent her into immediate menopause. No wonder she changed after the operation. The ovaries of all things should have been left in place.
There is no excuse as to why she was left but, IMO, I feel the family is doing one hell of a job making up for the mistakes they unknowingly made in the past. And that, is much more important to focus on!
Beth Anderson They were told she had cancer. They never actually proved she was pregnant, and I believe her mother suffered greatly from the start. It was a different time back then. People were told that mentally handicapped people were less than human, and would just be a burden on the rest of the family. People put their beloved family members in long term care facilities every day in this country, and things like this continue to happen probably on a daily basis.
Chris Hildreth And yet there are so many people out there who were able to care for and love their children despite all this. Even in the good old days people protected their own. Not everyone was shoved away. Jill's mother should be ashamed and think of her daughters pain instead of cashing in on her own
Chris Hildreth I'm not trying to argue, I'm just saying it seems really disingenuous to say that the facility took such bad care of her when you're the one who put her there and left her there for an extended period of time even after you knew things were really, really wrong
This mom deserted her kid, and now she complains about what they did to her? They could, because no one was watching out for Jill. She sits there flipping her hair and acting like it was too hard to visit her child. Too bad! I am so disgusted. When my mom was in a nursing home, for years, we took turns visiting her, virtually daily. It was not easy or fun, but we made sure she was being treated well, even tho she did not even know we were there. My sister went to all the meetings where her progress and treatment was reviewed. We kept up with it all. That is what you do when you have to.
I cannot help but think if that mother had visited her daughter on a frequent and regular basis rather than be thinking about her own self, that Jill would have had a better level of care. Families of patients that are involved and visit often get better care. (even back then) It was a whole year after the hysterectomy till she saw her daughter again? She wasn't there often enough to even do something about the pregnancy? I know Jill was done wrong, it does anger me at the caregivers back then, but as a survivor myself my first anger goes to the mother who walked out on her and left her to be raped and drugged.and then did nothing to get Jill out of that h*ll.
my dad was in a group home due to having a traumatic brain injury. they refused to give him enough to drink and he died of dehydration and pneumonia. Group homes need a total re evaluation. they were " afraid he would aspirate" . Often, in my experience, I have found that people who work in group homes are not medically trained. They're usually just a warm body to fill the position of a babysitter.
Danielle D not always true..but the people who work in a lot ate abusive..trained or not...i wasnot trainedbut i took care of everyone and prevented abuse...asdid my boss..abuse by meds from the former owners..but the other workers....i should work in places like this again because abuse and neglect do hapoen a lot...but iwould need to be involved with the state too even stop that..but there is a lot of corruption
This breaks my heart :c Jill is clearly aware of her surroundings, she moves her arms and legs as she desires, I feel she could have made so much improvement had she grown up at home with her sister Even after all those years of neglect she's full of life and is very capable
So many judgemental people making comments but not one of you has ever been through it. It was so different back then and doctors encouraged forcefully for mothers to put their handicapped kids into institutions. In our case they didn't have the resources that they have now. My sister was born brain damaged at birth from lack of oxygen back in 1950, she was my mom's first born and ten years older than me. My mom said she didn't find out for sure she had brain damage until she was five years old, she had noticed delays but I think my mom was in big denial. She stayed with us until she was 16 then she was put into an institution. I have to be honest I had mixed feelings about her going away, she had become very hard to handle and she had pushed me down the stairs numerous times, not to mention hitting and punching and I was much smaller, I loved and trusted her but I was confused because she was hurting me and I was starting to fear her and my mom was losing control of her. She was a big girl, picture a mobile 150lb women with the mind of a two year old and when puberty hit it got much worse. She started bolting out of the house every chance she had and we were on lock down. My mother would never discuss her with me and it became clear from day one that you didn't ask questions, if I tried to ask questions she would start crying and say she couldn't talk about it and she still can't. Institutional life pretty much destroyed what little was left of my sister and she was there for years until they started opening up group homes.. While she was in the institution once she settled in we would go every weekend and bring her home, she also came home on the holidays. It was a horrible place though and I would travel the two hours it would take to get there with my mom every weekend. This was also very hard because for a while she didn't want to go back and would cry, it was devastating. My mom once said to me that since my sister was born she has never cared about anything, she didn't have to tell me this I already knew. Both my parents became functioning alcoholics, my dad wrapped himself in his business and was distant and not involved, men usually don't handle this well, no one comes out from this unscathed. How wonderful that your sister is thriving and back with her family. I noticed that she seems very quiet and docile, my sister can scream and yell up a storm :) I know my mom tried as best she could with the resources that were given to her at the time which was null. She was with us till 16 but the outcome was the same. On a brighter note she is in a beautiful group home now, the staff is like family, she is in a gorgeous house with only 4 other residents and they get one on one care and are spoiled, they take her everywhere and I can visit her and take her out anytime I wish. My mom is 90 now so she can't visit her anymore but my sister doesn't even seem to notice, my dad passed seven years ago. My parents had relinquished custody of her years ago to the state but we got her back after she was removed from the institution. I realize there are some horrible group homes out there and starting off my sister was in a couple of them. It took a while to find the perfect one but this one is run by Christian Services and it is amazing! I'm just curious if you don't mind me asking, what will happen after your mom passes? I can't imagine what it was like for you to lose your twin sister at such a young age, my mom has a twin and they are inseparable! Thank you for opening up your lives to us, my heart goes out to you all!
I went through it too. Two brothers, one older, one younger. Things were different back then, so terribly different. There was no help for our families. I am glad your sister is in a good place now. I lost my brothers ten years back. They were in a good group home by then, and together. When one died, the other did too, within months. It is a tragedy how disabled people were treated and we still need to come a long way, especially in poorer countries.
Thank you for your kind words and I guess I did ramble somewhat but it just hits me to the core when people who have no clue pass judgement on others. So sorry to hear of both your brothers passing, they must have been very close and how wonderful that they were together. It is different now days as far as the options offered to families but with funding being cut left and right I'm seeing a major impact on resources for the mentally handicapped in our own country. My parents had to pay for most things out of pocket once she was taken back from being a ward of the state. They were fortunate to have the funds to do so but allot of people are not in that same boat. I can't even imagine what it will be like for the people in other countries with the Zika virus who do not have the funds or the resources to deal with this.
4fus1on You were not ranting at all. Our stories need to be shared. I was so glad when public outcry closed down most institutions. But I feel like our governments used it for financial gain. Many families like yours pay so much out of pocket expense and struggle with little help. And many mentally ill people are living on the streets. A good group home is a treasure!! In many third world countries the treatment of the disabled is horrendous. It's so very sad.
4fus1on i appreciate you telling your familys story 💙 as the person above said, we need to address these real issues.so much is swept under the rug,its so easy for many to turn a blind eye 😔 im pleased your sister is in a good place now & i hope you are too ☮
I never post about this sort of thing but need to now. I manage 2 group homes and in my homes this just would not happen! Shame on the providers of this home! You have failed to provide a safe environment and should be shut down! Horrible!
Quite a few of those institutions see patients as a financial commodity and have no incentive to help them progress. The are simply seen as "cash coss."
Jill is a remarkable young woman and even though her mother was unsure how to provide a sufficient level of care, that caused detrimental effects to Jill's life.. I'm glad its the family that have pull together for her.. Amazing stuff, more of that is needed❤️
Everything I could say has already been said by many others here. The one thing I want to remark on is her hysterectomy scar. How awful of a surgeon did she have!? I've had a colostomy and it's been reversed back in the 80's, and I really did have ovarian cancer and I had a hysterectomy in 2007. I was on medicaid at the time so I didn't expect top notch care. But my scars are so insignificant I don't even notice it! And if there was a child, well, I've never seen a c-section scar that horrible either! What he hell did they do to that poor girl's abdomen! That just blows my mind. I guess they thought since she was intellectually disabled that her body was apparently not worth it either. I'd be willing to bet that some of her digestive issues arise from having scar tissue all over her intestines, holding things together that shouldn't be. There is just no need to cut her from ribcage to pelvis for a simple hysterectomy or one with child. Whoever was her surgeon shouldn't be in practice.
what a heartless mother...there's no excuse for not going to visit her daily or weekly....I've worked in group homes and they are treated very well....this family didn't want the burden of a child with special needs so they just dumped her off...fucking sick
Funky Monkey there are no words to describe how ignorant you truly are she is now with her mother and to be honest I don't think it was her mother that wanted her to leave from what I have witnessed I do feel in my heart that it was her father didn't want her around she is now living happy with her mother and her sister that love her very much I know exactly what it's like to have a sibling with disabilities it's not easy when you pull together as one unit it's much easier so stop being a heartless individual because obviously you have no idea what it's like to have any kind of disability in your family if you do I feel sorry for the person that does have the disability to be related to you
I could of have this happen to me.I have autism and there was times when I was real little that my Dad and my Grandma wanted to send me away to a group home for children. So glad my family did not give up on me b/c I now live on my own and I even graduated from college.If I were to be sent away my potential and what I have to show what I have in store would be thrown away.
I have a physical disability called Cerebral Palsy and I do very well considering I am in a manual wheelchair. I also graduated from college in 2015 from DeVry University in Computer Science. I graduated with Honors.
How absolutely beautiful to see this family heal and this woman blossom in their loving care. Criminal charges due for the over use of meds, feeding tube, rape & hysterectomy at the group home ~ horrific !!! Kudos to the young film maker. Thx for increasing public awareness ~ God bless you.
In the home videos from when she was really little Jill seems really animated, but as an adult she acts more unresponsive. The lack of socialization and constant medications really messed her up.
I have a beautiful daughter. Her name is Nicole. She was born with Cornelia De Lange syndrome. She will be 30 years old in November. I have had to place her in a group home because of her violent behavior. Nicole is extremely violent towards others and herself. My husband and I cannot control her. It breaks my heart that we can't have her with us. Sometimes there are extenuating circumstances that make it impossible to allow the disabled persons to live at home.
Judging by the language the twin used surrounding the father's death-they 'regained custody' etc.-leads to some question as to whether they had the ability to get her out again. It seems like the father had the medical power of attorney and held onto it in the divorce, be that out of spite, shame, or a father knows best attitude. We can't ask him. He's deceased.
Rachel Crabtree that's what it sounds like to me. You can tell her mum and sister love her and have a lot of guilt and regret about her being in that home.
While I think it's great her family decided to take her back home, I find it both puzzling and sad that they waited so long and even seemed to forget about her...
Devin Lind things were very different then as well. 2 decades ago no one around me or my parents knew nothing about mental illness even. people give harmful advice every day. they dont realize how wrong they are. every issue needs to be studied from all angles before action, and quality of life is of the utmost importance. the most defenseless are abused. And if not defenseless, they are abused until they are. change is important... as well as taking responsibility for ones own words and actions.. Denial and ignorance is easy. but life is not meant to be easy. we are meant to help others live an easier life.. I'm sad. I know many people. not one has been willing to support me in my own chronic illness.. which is far from where this girl is at or has had to put up with. so I can imagine. ive been over medicated. I walked into walls.. and once I woke up unable to move a single muscle. it felt like concrete. medication is toxic. it kills people and makes ppl sick for life.
all this progression jill made, couldve been done when she was 8. if her mother didnt have the patience and strength to deal with jill back when she was a child, then how is she capable now, when she is older and divorced
Thank you for making this documentary and sharing your family's story. I graduated with a degree in special education and all of my experiences with older individuals with intellectual disabilities encountered some aspect of the medical model. I hope with early intervention for pregnant mothers and programs like ChildFind that future generations can get access to health education programs, assistive therapies, and community resources. Individuals with disabilities are people first.
I worked in nursing homes and seen the abuse that goes on.When I reported it I got fired.So much cover up goes on.This is so hard for any family.Jill is so beautiful inside and out.Im so sorry for all Jill and her family experienced.Gods Blessings to them.
Why wasn't the group home employees investigated? Why weren't the guilty caregivers charged?? It infuriates me knowing that this can happen to people that can't advocate for themselves!!!
Oh, it's too painful and devastating to talk about putting your flesh and blood in a group home, but it, apparently, wasn't too painful and devastating to actually do it. Did any family member even go near this poor woman for years? How could they not visit her and raise hell that she was on all these unnecessary medications, covered in severe psoriasis, and how was it that she ended up having to be fed through a tube in her stomach? Seems they just dumped her and ceased to acknowledge that she even existed. Seems to me she was a simply a beautiful, loving, sweet little girl with no behavioral problems that I could see, Very affectionate....and, chick, you didn't LOSE your sister, she was shunted away...
IntheLandofMordor, Some people just don't want the responsibility. It's a lot of time and money to take care of someone who is severely disabled. Some people just can't handle it. It's like they signed their rights away to that person and they only hope the state takes care of them.
yeah it's good that when you found yourself in the exact same situation as this woman u kept your daughter/son at home and/or did the right thing and visited her/so regularly. Do you still do that? How often do u go? It's good you are able to since people can be so judgmental of things they themselves have never gone though!. How is your intellectually disabled child now btw? Probably getting excellent care! Too bad everyone isn't like you.
I can appreciate the fact that this could be an overwhelming prospect, year in and year out for any family...I have no problem with placing a severely disabled child in a home as a very last resort and after extensive checking and monitoring of many places...but this woman said they visited this girl once and could not bring themselves to go back. The sister even said she forgot about having a sister.sometimes This was her TWIN sister. That is what I take issue with, never going about the child or, obviously, not caring one iota about her welfare just as long as you're not saddled with her. Catherine Blair, If the above is supposed to be leveled at me...No, I don't have children, but I WILL tell you one damned thing, if I'd EVER had a child like this girl, no way in hell would I have sat around on my ass and ignored her and let her be forgotten...and don't give me any of that "walk a mile in her shoes". and "there but for the grace of God go I" shit, because that doesn't cut any ice with me. No, apparently, this woman isn't like me...I am a person with compassion and a heart, two things this woman clearly lacks... So you can check your little sarcastic-assed comments at the door.. You don't know me, and you know even less about what in the hell you're talking about.
While I commend her mother and sister for finally stepping ip to care gor Jill I have to say if they had been visiting and more involved with her care she might not have went downhill mentally and physically like she did. I am by no means blaming them for doing what they did and I worked in an institution and a group home for 37 yrs so I know what goes on. We could never understand how a family could just forget they had a child that was not normal. Restraints in the state of NY was outlawed in the late 1970's. In any case I am overjoyed that Jill is home with a family who loves her so much. Love and acceptance means so much. God bless Jill. She is amazing and I know she understands more than she can communicate. Truly an inspiration.
pixie1310 all her mom has to say for herself was "it was too painful." How about Jill? Did she not deserve a family or at least visiting her on holidays? So sad.
I wouldn't want to have to care for a disabled child, either. Do you have any fucking idea how ridiculously draining it is? I know a woman who has two special needs children and they're putting all of their money towards treatments and hospital visits. Especially in the 60s, nobody knew how to handle that. You know what? I would probably do the same thing. I have to focus on myself and the family I have and I can't just throw money around like that.
Cody Williams--She could have at least visited the child and made sure she was properly cared for and brought her toys, a radio, a TV if she had a bedroom, things to pass the time. She was a human being, not a damn farm animal.
This video gave me chills watching Jills progress grow after moving in with her Mom and sister. Just shows what love and support can do. Judos to her Mother, sister and Bruno!!! Thank you, Bruno, for this touching and powerful video.
Institutions are inherently cold and unloving places because the workers there don't love or care about the people; your own family would care for you how you need, an institution will only give you enough to keep others content, because as a disabled person you cannot contest any treatment given to you. The workers do not have time to look to every person. You either sink or you swim, there's nobody to look out for your well-being and abuse may happen because no-one will step in to stop it in time. I think nobody should be put through the indignity that comes with institutionalisation. Nothing can rival the love of being part of a family.
the negative comments... it's what I've always said, then and now. Things were different before and thankfully our views and ideas evolve. we're growing into a better self, more thoughtful, more understanding, deeper souls. I'm glad her Mom is able to love her now. I know she loved her before but thens influence and time was much different. all my hugs to them
Tanya Tro that's really awesome but I think you should prepare him for his life after your death . unless someone else in your family will take him 90 per cent of the time they end up in a facility and it's easier to adjust with a parents help
Thanks so much for sharing this very touching, personal story. I have been searching for information on ID since we began fostering a newborn with brain damage 8 months ago. We hope to adopt her, and your sharing of Jill's story is so helpful and you are all such an inspiration. This video shows what real love is.
Thank you for this film. We need more compassion in our world. As my own mother's caregiver, I have learned to NEVER JUDGE ANOTHER unless you are enduring the same situation. What her parents had knowledge to or opportunities back in the early '70s is not the same today. I wish Jill and her family peace and health.
What an incredible transformation! I can’t begin to imagine what Jill has suffered but she has a brighter future and we can only hope that her past trauma doesn’t spoil her joy.
When Jill walked across the room towards her wheelchair, I was holding my breathe. And when she sat down & crossed her legs I was cheering. I also loved the sisters talking about her having muscle tone back in her legs. "No, yes you do!". I'm glad she's doing better. Thank you Bruno for making this video. And for helping your Aunt in so many ways w/o acting like it was a chore. Everyone can see how much she loves you & the rest of the family. Keep fighting the good fight!
Jill looks much better glad she’s safe and at home with someone to protect her..she has her own bed and is safe and medically taken care of ,,,thank goodness she’s safe and her last years she will be loved
It is extremely easier on the staff, to do a G-tube, than to have to feed them orally. Any patient that I had on long term feeding tubes, no longer wanted to be alive. I no nothing about the institution that Jill was living in, but if a resident was able to be raped, and probably several times, with no other staff member finding out, they were most likely severly understaffed, like most of these places are.
Chris Hildreth This is true. You wouldn't believe how many hospitals try to put feeding tubes in individuals because it is easier that way. And when the person cannot advocate for themselves, that is very scary. I work in the healthcare coordination department at a non-profit that serves people with disabilities. It's so sickening that stuff like this still happens. Or hospitals basically ignoring a person because they are not verbal.
Some people need to humble themselves and chill. Miracles really do happen, Jill and her family are living proof of that. Thanks for sharing your beautiful story.
Why would you as a mother, not visit your own daughter, for a year after her hysterectomy? This is disgusting. I'm not doubting it's hard looking after a special needs child but to not visit her, to tell her twin not to talk about it, it's horrific. That poor beautiful girl was raped. It was obvious, as you recognised all her symptoms yet you failed to visit her for a year after the hysterectomy. My God, I would be battling it out with the home, bringing my daughter home immediately and making damned sure everyone knew about the negligence in this so called care home. Shame in you. Also I would suggest you don't want to talk about the day you let her go into that God forsaken place, is because you're ashamed, and damned right too.
I'm angry that this mother dropped her child off ! After she had this surgery the mother saw her ONE YEAR LATER!! Still didn't care enough to take her out of that situation! All those years!
Yes it is so sad that the phony mother didn't go see her very much..Especially after the surgery. A year goes by and the mother didn't visit her daughter after surgery.Heartless,selfish mother...The mother is getting older now,,,felling guilty..She knows dam well that she could of taken care of her daughter,.....The mother had her freedom for the 40 years since she left her daughter in that terrible place..And then the mother didn't visit much..Why?? Excuses,,Excuses!!!! I see Jill has improved..Imagine what she would have been like if she wasn't put in that place at 8 years old...She could have had a better life,,,but her mom took that away from her.
I have this sickening feeling that her brain injury wasn't that severe. The years of neglect and lack of brain stimulation probably caused significant damage. It's sad to think what could have been.
Natalie Carry no this is wrong and unfair. she was 8 when she went into care and her mum tried everything. they would have known her limitations at the time although her condition worsened obviously also it may be the case that of she was born now she would have had access to much better support and education which would have increased her potential that can't be helped as she wasn't. the family did what was expected of them, what was best for the other childeren and what they thought was right putting faith in the system. it was the system that failed her!
Emily I agree with Natalie Carry....I have worked at several homes and that has been the case with many many of the residents there. If they just would have taken time with their children they would have been better off then to be put in these homes where there really is not the staff needed to care for them. The last one I worked at...St Johns Villa in Carrollton, Ohio 44615. I was in house B which had 7 residents and 3 staff in the day and 2 staff at night. This may seem like a lot but we had 7 out of the 7: 1 was a runner, 1 was blind, 1 you have to supervise every minute due to them eating EVERYTHING in their sight. 1 was a one on one becoz they would wonder off, 1 was in a wheel chair and 1 could not verbally communicate.
I however believe it was the father that had 0 TO NO patients with her. I believe the mum would have keep her and tried her best to help. Although we can not judge which I pray this is not coming across as judging becoz NOT ONE OF US can say what we would have done. You have no clue what its like until you go through the VERY same thing yourself. GOD BLESS JILL AND HER FAMILY ALWAYS and IN ALL WAYS ;)
yenti love--What did they do during the day? Did they put them in front of a TV? Were there books and magazines? Activities?
They had normal lives just like our children would. Get up go to school or workshop until 250pm. Then do their homework etc then we would all eat dinner at around 4:30-5:00. Then just as normal families we would play board games, paint, color, watch tv, wash our clothes and so on. Now so of the residents were very heavly medicated which I think in so not all cases is a cop out to having to deal with them.It was on of the better homes I worked in,
yenti love--Thank you for answering.
I also noticed along with many other people in this comment section that she seemed much more alert as a young child vs an adult. It’s amazing what hard core neglect, drugs, and trauma can do to an individual
Honestly made me feel both angry and sad for her, she possibly would have been in a different state if she had not been abandoned by her family as a child. It's sad how people where taught to look at people with disabilities back then, just forget about them, have a new child
I was whocked too that the hospital performed hystorectomi on her to cover up rape, that must have had bad effects on her health too.
That is because they don’t get the love or the attention at a place like that they do at home.
Everyone is bashing the mom. Sounds to me like it was dad that insisted on her being institutionalized. Seems as soon as he passed, they took Jill home. I believe dad wad basically embarrassed and that he did not want Jill to be talked about ever again. Don't judge the mom, who knows what the situation was with 2 children and a home to support. This happened in the early 70's as Jill was born in 1964. So easy to say what you would do, but you are not in their shoes.
Ginger Snaps so the mom couldn't have visited Jill at least on holidays? Jill was raped and given unnecessary drugs and no one even checked to see if she was alive. Her parents could have visited her and not told extended family or friends.
Yes you are absolutely right. I just got a weird feeling from the dad like maybe he forbade the mother to go.. Maybe with consequences? Jill went through quite a lot AND all alone. Thankfully they decided to finally rescue her.
Agreed. Back then, it was unheard of for parents to keep a disabled child at home. Care homes were big bucks, and doctors often got kickbacks for pressuring parents to send their kids away. The mom may have been emotionally or even physically abused by her husband, and she certainly was pressured by everyone else around her. She seems like a very damaged person, herself. I'm sure she blames herself every single day. Jill seems happy now, but the mom will spend the rest of her life with the memories of what Jill went through, and will blame herself for every bit of it.
Remember, back then there were no physical therapists, no home visiting social workers, no respite care, no help AT ALL. Nothing. If the mom had the support that is available today, I think it would have been a very different story.
I have had to stop this several times to get control of my emotions. Such a sad story. I'm so glad Jill is home and florishing. What a wonderful cousin and sister to help her regain her strength. Of course we could blame Father, Mother, the System, but let's look at the here and now and what is best going forward for Jill. I'm going back to finish the story. My God bless this family for the efforts to help Jill recover .
Ginger Snaps Thank you... So true!!!
Little Jill was very animated when filmed, not what I would call severely handicapped. All those psychotropic drugs destroyed that and left her looking and acting much more disabled.
I'm speaking from a personal experience; If you notice how animated Jill was as a toddler and up until she went into the group home, you see a fairly "normal" and extremely happy little girl. Jill was even able to walk with the aid of her mother. Then, you see her after she's been in the group facility and she become almost expressionless, withdrawn and nonreactive to stimuli.
This is because a brain, no matter how damaged, will continue to grow and develop motor skills, social skills, coordination skills, as long as there is LOVING interaction, just like she had been receiving at home.
Conversely, the lack of emotional and loving support and interaction and normal social stimulation, causes the brain to literally stop growing in size and ability. The Pituitary gland, within the brain, which is responsible for producing HGH ( Human Growth Hormone ), is severely affected and causes the growth hormone output to almost completely cease. There is no longer the ability to make eye contact, which is the most basic form of human communication. She literally is living in her own world.
I'm not judging the mother, but personally, I cannot understand how she could turn her baby over to strangers and allow her to fade away to almost a catatonic condition. Sadly, this can never be undone to any substantial level. Jill was born with brain damage, but most likely would have learned to walk, talk and even learn some routine skills, from which to earn money.
So horribly sad!
Also, certain medications they routinely give to people with intellectual disabilities as restraint literally shrink the brain over time.
I know you wrote this 7 years ago but this type of situation is something I have seen personally. Luckily Dan had some good luck on his side and ended up with us. Still keep thinking who he could of been if he came to us first. He was a sweet and beautiful soul.
yep, she regressed ! a lot. this girls story is A LOT like ''wheres molly'' documentary , she was seemed only mild disabled when very young, but after years of institution she BECAME severe.
on a side note: the baby toys is so inappropriate, its not age appropriate, its been long proven even severely disabled folks DO age, mentally they are not eternal perpetual children.. and plus... also with time of being exposed and given age appropriate choice and opportunity they DO start to enjoy the more adult stuff... but yeah the baby toys..its not helping her be seen as a adult, and it as not affording her competence and the big thing is to always presume competence.. calling her Jilly and giving her nothing but baby toys IS NOT presuming competence its not giving her the chance to grow in her own way...
So the mum suspects she's pregnant but gets told she has cancer and doesn't go and visit her for another year. She has a great deal of making up to do. That's evil
haynah100 she's a disgusting person trying to act like she's innocent by putting the blame on everyone else.
Yeah some of these family members try to act like caring but they are hypocrite they only show up when something happen to sue.
That's so fucking disgusting that someone raped a person with special needs who has absolutely no ability to give consent or stand up for herself. I hope Jill can have the life she deserves with her mom and sister.
aamte It happens way too often. There are disabled people sexuality and physically abused, right now. All over the world. Sadly, often times by caretakers or family. The people supposed to be caring for them.
god, right? that made me sick at my stomach. I hope so, too..
Brianna Gordy or the also get raped by disabled people. I haf a friend that had been molested by her older brother, he was disabled.
aamte it's actually incredibly common for people who are either physically or mentally disabled to be abused and/or raped. Very frequently people who are abusive get jobs working with people with disabilities because we are easy targets. I think most people who have to depend on carers have probably had at least one experience of being mistreated or taken advantage of in some way or another
It happens all the time. some people are really disgusting
Did anyone else notice that when Gills mum kissed her she didn't react, but when her sister gave her a kiss she went to hold her.
Shows that despite having a mental disability, she can tell the difference between genuine affection and the forced (fake) affection she gets from her mother.
When I was little with my autism when I first got diagnosed my Dad would say I should go to a retard school. I would cry when my dad would say that to me; I still understood despite being 4 years old that it hurts when my dad says that. I may of been non verbal until I was six I cried when I understood being mis treated.
Thats awful :( I'm sorry to hear that
I know this is a 7 year old comment but I had to add. My "uncle" Dan who was a 2 year old in the mind used to hate my dad's gf because she acted like he was the grossest thing she ever saw. He was nonverbal but when your with someone nonverbal as long as I was I could understand how Dan was feeling. His stiff body language. The way he would look at me vs the anger in his eyes when he looked at her. He would huff and puff and genuinely act like a angry nonverbal baby around her. He loved me I treated him like a baby brother. I was the one of the only ones who could get him out of a tantrum. He could feel it. Even the other wards of the states. I saw it. These facilities where awful. Dan came from one before us. His mother showed up once the whole time. He used to in-hail food because the other clients used to steal his food. You give him a apple and its gone right away, core and all.
It's horrifying to see how much worse Jill had aged compared to her twin sister. I hope they bring criminal charges against the place.
In some countries there are NO places. Get a grip lady. Its the familes responsibility they NEVER fucking visited her. The family NEVER visited her. THe SISTER did NOT GIVE A FUCK until she was over 40.
I know!! probably because of all the medications and abuse.
Even the mother looks younger than she does!
My son was born at 26 weeks and 6 days. Due to the extreme prematurity, he had a grade 3 interventricular hemmorage. Which caused hydrocephlus, which meant a shunt had to be placed. From the surgery, he contracted bacterial spinal meningitis. The infection caused him to have gran mal (sp) seizures. They lasted 20 mins or more. This was while he was still in the NICU at a children's hospital. During one epileptic episode, the gave him diazepam rectually. It stopped the seizure, but also shut down his respiratory system. 9 mins, no oxygen. He is now diagnoses as "moderately mentally retarded". He is now 20. This all went on in the first year of his life. He has had 22 brain surgeries. He is the light and love of my life. He knows nothing but kindness and love. Because he is truly an innocent, beautiful soul. He knows nothing of the evil of the world. I don't understand these parents. My son is not a burden. He is a God given gift. This breaks my heart. And makes me horrified at the thought of what could happen to my beautiful son when I am gone.
I just watched this film on Tubi and came here to express how important this documentary is. I am so glad that's Jill's story was told, and that she gets to now live a life with love. Her family truly loves her, and never stopped loving her. I have Autism and so do my children. I understand the self doubt Jill's mother must have felt when it was decided to send Jill away. But in the end, her family was capable of giving her all she really needed. We as a society need to give everyone, disabled or not, the basic needs emotionally and physicially to thrive. Our world has changed, humanity has evolved, we have made great advancements. And neuro divergent people and people with disabilities deserve a place in our world.
Just think of what she could have been like with therapy and daily interaction
Just think if America actually funded that !! America's welfare support system is the exact reason Jill and tens of thousands of others are placed in care because there are not sufficient resources to help families keep them at home.
Joi Stevens it's all the mother's fault
Whatever if they fund it or not parents stil need to want to do the efort there so much people doing it al there life whitout funding jills family were just happy to be rid of her
I can’t believe her life got thrown away. I can’t image my life being thrown way b/c I have autism and that was a possibility when I was a small child
And for all you negatives out there, surely the point of this film is to highlight past beliefs, pressures and lack of support and resources. The guilt of a family that were misinformed, and the proof that a loving family is the best place for anyone with a disability...respect for them for sharing this story xxx
Jill's mother should ask Jill for forgiveness for abandoning her for over 40 years and letting pple do whatever they wanted to her.
Steve Kituku mind your own business please!
Do you think she could even understand the words?
@lannguyen-pu1db ..Excuse you! This crap became Everybody's "business" the minute it was posted to the internet.
Apologies are not enough.
I hope that facility who mistreated and abused Jill faces some severe consequences. Family should file lawsuits against them.
I feel so sad for Jill, and it's kind of sad to see her moms desperation to try and make up for years and years of not being there for her. I'm glad she's making an effort though... better late than never
blackbird780 k
blackbird780 Absolutely. All that matters is she is trying now.
Every individual with intellectually disabilities has the right to be given the tools that will allow them to develop to the highest level of independence of which they are capable. Anything less is a crime!
It makes me so sad that for 40 years no one visited Jill. She was alone with horrible treatment and no one to comfort her. I can't believe they even wanted to forget about her. I could never do that to someone. I'm the twin to someone who's extremely autistic and even though she can be difficult to deal with, I would never block out her existence.
I’m very surprised people didn’t know that sexual abuse is rampant in every single institution. Where people are vulnerable there will be predators.
I have worked in a facility that was run by the state. It was truly an essane asylum for high behavior Intellectually disabled adults. I have seen 1st hand sexual abuse reported it and nothing was done. The Stafford treated as poorly as the residence. If you know your child is going to be born with severe conditions please do the right thing. Pro choice.
That happened to me by different people. I have moderate autism. I try to dye. I had depression since I can remember. But when I was a kid I made imaginary friends, one including Jessica Two, a imaginary other self. I remember imagining her getting hit by a car. I escaped into a imaginary world and self h armed. I still depressed. I slightly have imaginary world with Addy, Bridget and Elsa. Trauma is very bad. I sad I not normal. I sad what happened. I sad this happened to her. I sorry for her and her family.
Also in very many homes.
@@horsegirl2.012i think that’s the worst. Knowing you are not like others but not being able to do anything about it. I feel like an alien visitor to earth
@@Rue2loveexactly, do what the Spartans used to do and leave them in the woods
Her table manners were great! she fed herself really well
My daughter has Cerebral Palsy. She was diagnosed at 18 months. She is profoundly physically disabled but fortunately, intellectually normal. First thing out of doctor's mouth after the diagnosis was that he recommended she be institutionalized because she will require full physical support for the rest of her life. They also recommended G-tube and other supports.
I said no. 2 years ago she graduated high school with National Honor Society honors. She will never walk or sit by herself or even roll over BUT she has thrived beyond all her doctor's predictions! There is no way no how she would have ever reached her potential in an institution or group home. She will be taken care of in home until I take my last breath. After that, her sisters and brothers will provide all of her care (their insistence). Her dad bailed out long ago, he couldn't take it. She is the absolute joy of my life as are all my children and I couldn't imagine her not being at home.
I too have heard of the rape crisis in group homes and I could never put her in the potential of harms way. Raising her was not easy and yes, it's a 24/7 commitment but it's my responsibility and my honor to do what is right by her. Jill's mother was weak and put her husband's wants first. For that, there is no amount of atonement for all the years of neglect and abandonment. "It was too painful to see her" is the absolute weakest excuse I've ever heard. Jill's mother was more disabled than her. The parents did wrong by both the girls.
jillibeens57 god bless you & your beautiful family
Thank you fpr loving her the way you did and still do
I really do admire you for taking care of your child I have a brother he was born with PKU he was put in a home when he was 6 years old he died when he was 13 my father left us when I was 7 my mom had 5 children we had no car it was 3 to 4 hours from us where he was I got to see him maybe three times it really left an impact on me and my two sisters and other brother but we used to help my mom with him he was easy he didn't cry you just had to feed him and change him and he would play with Rattlers and he was a pleasure I remember very well helping to take care of him then I have another half brother he has cerebral palsy very severely I would say he's about 40 years old he has three sisters and they three of the girls take care of him he will never go in a home and this boy is hard work they have to lift him and pick him up but I respect you for taking care of your child cuz God only knows what happens to these children and these types of places but I cannot respect this woman she wants people to feel sorry for her her little girl didn't look all that severely retarded she is using an excuse it was too hard and too painful to go see her I cannot buy that she probably wants to sue the facility when you put your kit at a home like that you give up your rights they are awarded to the state the state can make decisions for the kids but this woman talkin here she wants people to feel sorry for her I feel sorry for the daughter who endured the pain of not being with her family and going through what she went through and I feel sorry for her sister I have no sorrow in my heart for the mother.
jillibeens57 Well said, very well said indeed and good on you for being a true mother, doing what it takes, no matter how hard, for your children. You are strong and brave and your children have learned so much by you working through rough patches. You're so very right, this mother (in the video) is more disabled then Jill and did her horribly wrong. There is no excuse for abandoning your child and forget she ever existed. It's selfish and cruel, no way around it.
Bless your heart!!!
she didnt look that severely disabled when she was younger..the institutionalization reallt stiffled her..the skin condition she had can also be brought on by stress!!! i worked in a state institution for several years horrible place.. so happy shes out and at home..she could have been aspirating because she was over medicated!!! how can you swallow when youre half asleep!
mary furnier I agree that institutions focus a lot on over medicating for sure. esp. back then... People don't have the same understanding or compassion as they do today... this is sad.
mary furnier that's exactly what I was thinking! She looked like a happy little girl. Full of life.
She was probably trying to starve herself to suicide, it would be the only control she had of herself, they even took that away by putting in the tube
mary furnier Exactly she was a beautiful, healthy, unique little girl.
mary furnier
This is happening all the time. I was institutionalized for manic depression, and severe ocd. I wasnt allowed to do some of my ocd habits and a I freaked out and kicked a laundry basket. For that I was put on Thorazine for three months. I couldnt talk and i really dont remember much after a while. I was taken to a court hearing where the hospital was granted premission to medicate me agaisnt my well. They also applied to be put me on a really long legal hold so they could keep "Medicating Me". I dont remember how or what happen but my dad found out and fought to have me realesed. Who knows what would have happend if I stayed. It took me another two months to learn how to walk normally again and my shoulder and neck muscles where constantly stiff. That was nothing compared to this story. This s an absolute fucking nightmare. Nobody should be treated that way.
*OMG......* 😨
Nikki H, by having you heavily medicated, pharmaceutical companies and prescribers get rich, rich, rich. There are many pharmaceutical companies rewarding doctors with paid overseas holidays and cars, if they get as many patients as possible medicated. It is scandalous.
what country do you live in
My county has mentioned to me that I can have my daughter placed after she turns 18. She has autism and schizophrenia, My response to that is "OVER MY DEAD BODY." Especially after seeing this I will never let those people talk me into that!!!!
roxzs mavian usa california
Why didn't they pull her out of the home when they saw she was pregnant???? The first sign of something wrong she should have been taken home. I'm so angry at this family because it appears they didn't have financial barriers to caring for her or even visiting her often.
Dee N because they didn't care about their own child because she didn't fit into their "perfect life". Disgusting people
Dee N she was only taken out of the home after the father left the mother and back then mothers were homemakers. I suspect Jill was brought back home for monetary gain. Just my opinion.
+Miranda Baxter no, the father and mother divorced a year after they institutionalized jill...jill was brought back home after the father died and they gained legal custody of her, which the father had all these years. do you see the inside of the home they live in? they are not financially lacking, and they would gain nothing from bringing her home financially. the father and mother divorced a year after they put jill in a home, so his death wouldn't of provided financial gain for the ex wife of forty years either. it simply was that the father had the legal power to decide all jills care and when he died, the mother and sister regained that right and brought her home. while I find the fact that they left that girl in a abusive group home wrong, the financial gain part doesn't make sense.
So so sad.. Notice how the moms visit even after learning of her pregnancy didnt see her for over a year... Wow dont understand why she was put away..she could have learn so many things at home and a special needs school
Jill is such a lovely person! She has the sweetest air and way about her. Her nephew Bruno is awesome for walking around with her. Excellent job!!!
Well done. You have given me a lot to think about. My brother-in-law is autistic and last year he lost his father and now we’re figuring out what will happen to him when his mother goes.I think I will fight for him, thank you.
This mother abandoned her child many years ago and now she wants to play "lioness" now she wants to be angry ? Please ! Where were you for a year, after you found out she was pregnant ? Why wasn't there an investigation ? Charges filed ? Yes, I believe she loves her but Jill needed more from her....
Mikayla Julien I agree 100%
Mikayla Julien I agree... but remember it was common in those families were pressured by all especially drs.
Mikayla Julien I agree wholly
Kathryn Ellison Just think if you could do it to your child. Personally I couldn't and the whole thing about that being what was done at the time is bs. Plenty of people couldn't give 2 shits about pressure from others. That's still your kid!
Mikayla Julien let's hope you always live so righteously and perfect. May you never be faced with a gut wrenching decision. Stay humble
I have a daughter with intellectual disability.
Jill seemed fine, she could walk, socialise and show love. What Jill needed was therapy and patience, not an institution. This is disgusting and heartbreaking. Poor Jill.
I found this mom extremely unlikable. Not only did she abandon an innocent child. She KNEW her child was being raped and chose to leave her there. But now, she pretends to be full of rage and concern 20 years after the fact. If she cared she would have at the very minimum pulled her out of that facility when she suspected rape.
Selfish pig, threw her away. Just like the trash that abuse and throw away animals. Pure trash.
l am wondering how much money they get through the state...hmmmm.
I used to work as a support worker for people who have learning disabilities, very much like Jill. Fortunately, the company I worked for treated the people VERY well, and I mean VERY well. They were not kept in institutions, though...it was regular houses where maybe 3 or 4 people lived and support staff were there 24/7. All staff were very well trained and vetted. I wish all places were the same, poor Jill.
I thought Bruno was sooo fabulous and sweet and I’m not even his mama but I felt so proud of this kid! These people are doing so much and I think everyone should be supporting and applauding them for their beautiful hearts and care. We all do the best we can and do what we think is best at the time. Xo
I feel so bad for jill. Shame on her parents for dumping her to rot in a home with no socialization. The brain is a use it or lose it organ. Imagine what Jill would have been like if she had been raised in her home.
The twin bond never goes away she just loves her sister anytime her sister gave a kiss or hug she pulled her back for another hug 🤗.
this is how you destroy a life
I feel like she would have been able to communicate if she had stayed with her family
I bet she's so mad at them for putting her in a home. People probably think she has nothing going on in her brain but I know she does. You can't trust anyone people are sick!
That mom literally abandoned her daughter... I don't care how she tries to justify it. She doesn't want to talk about it because she feels so guilty. I've visited and seen behind the scenes of similar "institutions" to what Jill was left in and if you genuinely care about your family member you obviously will visit them. That is a terrible mother. Her daughter went from running and playing like a normal child, with developmental delays, to being basically a vegetable and the family wanted nothing more than to forget she existed.
also, physical restraints (and chemical) should only be used by a doctor's order if the patient is capable of harming themselves in some way... and never long term. It never ceases to amaze me how fucked up the system actually is.
Sara you seem so compassionate.. I am just curious. I am a mentally disabled woman and in HS I was in special ed classes. How did you treat the special ed kids in HS? Because I recall MOST of my classmates were abusive to me. Very few treated me like a human being. I am wondering if you joined in or if you were a exception even at the time.
Catherine, hearing that really breaks my heart. Honestly, at the high school I attended you were the worst of the worst if you made fun of kids in special education. It could easily be your sibling or other family member and I think everyone did well to remember that! There are always those kids who feel the need to taunt and tease others but I would never take place in that sort of thing. I think it's the entire student body's responsibility to make sure everyone's high school experience is equally shitty, regardless of mental ability hahah!
CATHERINE BLAIR I have always stuck up for disabled kids, since very young age, and esp in high school I'm so sorry you were treated this way♡ I would have been there for you♡
I have autism and I sometimes fear of being sent to a facility for people like me, but I decided that it's best not to think about it and only have good aspirations in life.
wow its nice to see her laughing and happy. when I think about all the suffering she goes through, i think twice before complaining about my "miserable" life.. She's amazing
Why didn't take her out of the hospital when they found out she was pregnant??? Dang I would be busting people's butt just to find out who did!! Yet, that person still works there!!??
And probably continues to rape.
This anger and saddens me . I am an IA at a residential facility for children and adults with severe and profound physical a cognitive disabilities . I can honestly say the residents there are truly loved and well cared for .It sickens me to think that places like where Jill was placed exist. Those working in such places deserve to face harsh charges
She didn't seem that severe when she was young. Straight neglect made her decline.
What a sweet nephew she has.
jewels7151 isn't he just beautiful.
I've been working with people with disabilities for 14 years now and I've learned how to be more patient and it's so rewarding at the end of the day
My heart breaks for all involved. So many judging the mother, but as a mother of a child with a similar profile as Jill, the amount of pain, exhaustion and emotions parents of these children face is indescribable. I can relate to the mother’s mental breakdown and her feeling like she could not care for her child. It is clear Jill’s mom loves her dearly and trust me, the mother has been suffering since the moment she realized she had a disabled child. I found this video after a painful night with my child, feeling exhausted, defeated and so much more. This story is absolutely heartbreaking. I am so thankful Jill was able to be in the loving arms of her family after so much time alone. Jill is beautiful and strong. This video hit me so hard. Just feeling like I can’t care for my child sometimes and then worrying about her future. We need a society that supports these children and their caretakers. God bless this family and all in similar circumstances. I have hope through watching this story. Thank you
I totally agree. I don’t have any children of my own but I have worked as a caregiver for years and I’ve watched my boyfriends mom take care of her severely disabled 30 year old son with help from my boyfriend and me. It’s not even a full time job. It’s like 10 full time jobs. And now as a caregiver and nurse we have so much litigation happening where there’s zero room for error. You truly have to love caring too since the money is barely over minimum wage. I will never judge a parent with a disabled child for saying “I can’t do this alone anymore,I need help.”
@@AtonalApple thank you for the work you do. You are appreciated
‘The mother has been suffering since she found out she has a disabled child’ bleh. Give me a fucking break
Abortion is needed in cases like this. The caretakers of these people suffer greatly when their parents abandoned them. Not to mention the disabled person will suffer their entire life. Unfortunately here in America we are not compassion based or set up for these kind of people. They become products of the state. Money machines nothing more nothing less to the big corporations that own them.
The way Jill hugs her sister is adorable😢
Even from the first portion of the interview when she broke down after she was asked about her sister being sent away, it is clear she has true love for her sister. I am not so sure about her mother though.
Leer Wesen you think her Mom didn't love Jill? I think she has harnassed herself to deal with all the pain and sadness over the years as a way of protecting herself. not everyone deals with these things the same and if she seems cold then try to think that that may simply be the result of a survivalmechanism she has developed.
If her mom didn't love her she would have never taken her out of that horrible place..I know it was selfish to have put her in there years ago. But that was then, and you have to see what she is doing now. Also back then the attitude of people was so different. They just advised parents to send the kids to an institution and wash your hands of the whole thing. She was a young mother who let them all tell her that. But she corrected that decision and I personally am proud of her for that. And I am thrilled for Jill have made so much progress...
this mother is horrible. she abandoned her child and barely visited her, then complains about the terrible treatment in the institution. her child has surgery and she doesn't even visit! I can't believe the audacity of this woman. when jill was younger, she looked happy and vibrant. this mother has no one to blame for herself when it comes to Jill's demise.
Maybe she's looking for financial compensation.
Who dumps their 8 year old and doesn't bother to visit? That mother's got the nerve to blame entirely the care she was in. Where the hell was mom. If she had any connection with her daughter she could see that it's wasn't right.
What a profound story of a mothers redemption for institutionalizing a child. Jill loves her mother unconditionally and will always. This story of recovery deeply moved me. Thank you x
Right!!! This is the best ending possible. The mother wss so heartbroken all those years because of her husband...
My son was born with cerebral palsy he is now 28 and teaches music at a charter school in California. He has lived independently for 10 years in his own apartment and his legs don’t work he walks with crutches and has motor issues. We never thought to relinquish him to anyone. We told him he can do anything in life. He’s an accomplished musician and a self aware human being as we always knew he was. We are unique, alive and know. Regardless of what others visualize as disabled, it is their own disconnect from their own humanity. Just saying think about life and how it adapts to this reality.👽👁❤️
this poor poor poor poor poor innocent and sweet woman. this absolutely breaks my heart.
so let me get this straight... After Jill was given an unnecessary hysterectomy to cover up the pregnancy by a rapist, then you decided to leave her in there and not visit her for another year? disgusting
+Beth Anderson The fact that the hysterectomy took place was bad enough. But why remove the ovaries? That is extremely bad, because it would have sent her into immediate menopause. No wonder she changed after the operation. The ovaries of all things should have been left in place.
There is no excuse as to why she was left but, IMO, I feel the family is doing one hell of a job making up for the mistakes they unknowingly made in the past. And that, is much more important to focus on!
Beth Anderson They were told she had cancer. They never actually proved she was pregnant, and I believe her mother suffered greatly from the start. It was a different time back then. People were told that mentally handicapped people were less than human, and would just be a burden on the rest of the family. People put their beloved family members in long term care facilities every day in this country, and things like this continue to happen probably on a daily basis.
Chris Hildreth And yet there are so many people out there who were able to care for and love their children despite all this. Even in the good old days people protected their own. Not everyone was shoved away. Jill's mother should be ashamed and think of her daughters pain instead of cashing in on her own
Chris Hildreth I'm not trying to argue, I'm just saying it seems really disingenuous to say that the facility took such bad care of her when you're the one who put her there and left her there for an extended period of time even after you knew things were really, really wrong
What an incredible nephew she has! giving so much time and energy into making sure his auntie becomes the best she can physically
This mom deserted her kid, and now she complains about what they did to her? They could, because no one was watching out for Jill. She sits there flipping her hair and acting like it was too hard to visit her child. Too bad! I am so disgusted. When my mom was in a nursing home, for years, we took turns visiting her, virtually daily. It was not easy or fun, but we made sure she was being treated well, even tho she did not even know we were there. My sister went to all the meetings where her progress and treatment was reviewed. We kept up with it all. That is what you do when you have to.
I cannot help but think if that mother had visited her daughter on a frequent and regular basis rather than be thinking about her own self, that Jill would have had a better level of care. Families of patients that are involved and visit often get better care. (even back then) It was a whole year after the hysterectomy till she saw her daughter again? She wasn't there often enough to even do something about the pregnancy? I know Jill was done wrong, it does anger me at the caregivers back then, but as a survivor myself my first anger goes to the mother who walked out on her and left her to be raped and drugged.and then did nothing to get Jill out of that h*ll.
my dad was in a group home due to having a traumatic brain injury. they refused to give him enough to drink and he died of dehydration and pneumonia. Group homes need a total re evaluation. they were " afraid he would aspirate" . Often, in my experience, I have found that people who work in group homes are not medically trained. They're usually just a warm body to fill the position of a babysitter.
Danielle D oh my gosh I'm so sorry. That's awful.
Danielle D I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story.
Danielle D not always true..but the people who work in a lot ate abusive..trained or not...i wasnot trainedbut i took care of everyone and prevented abuse...asdid my boss..abuse by meds from the former owners..but the other workers....i should work in places like this again because abuse and neglect do hapoen a lot...but iwould need to be involved with the state too even stop that..but there is a lot of corruption
omg im so sorry
wow Danielle im so sorry for your loss xxx
This breaks my heart :c Jill is clearly aware of her surroundings, she moves her arms and legs as she desires, I feel she could have made so much improvement had she grown up at home with her sister
Even after all those years of neglect she's full of life and is very capable
So many judgemental people making comments but not one of you has ever been through it. It was so different back then and doctors encouraged forcefully for mothers to put their handicapped kids into institutions. In our case they didn't have the resources that they have now. My sister was born brain damaged at birth from lack of oxygen back in 1950, she was my mom's first born and ten years older than me. My mom said she didn't find out for sure she had brain damage until she was five years old, she had noticed delays but I think my mom was in big denial. She stayed with us until she was 16 then she was put into an institution. I have to be honest I had mixed feelings about her going away, she had become very hard to handle and she had pushed me down the stairs numerous times, not to mention hitting and punching and I was much smaller, I loved and trusted her but I was confused because she was hurting me and I was starting to fear her and my mom was losing control of her. She was a big girl, picture a mobile 150lb women with the mind of a two year old and when puberty hit it got much worse. She started bolting out of the house every chance she had and we were on lock down. My mother would never discuss her with me and it became clear from day one that you didn't ask questions, if I tried to ask questions she would start crying and say she couldn't talk about it and she still can't. Institutional life pretty much destroyed what little was left of my sister and she was there for years until they started opening up group homes.. While she was in the institution once she settled in we would go every weekend and bring her home, she also came home on the holidays. It was a horrible place though and I would travel the two hours it would take to get there with my mom every weekend. This was also very hard because for a while she didn't want to go back and would cry, it was devastating. My mom once said to me that since my sister was born she has never cared about anything, she didn't have to tell me this I already knew. Both my parents became functioning alcoholics, my dad wrapped himself in his business and was distant and not involved, men usually don't handle this well, no one comes out from this unscathed. How wonderful that your sister is thriving and back with her family. I noticed that she seems very quiet and docile, my sister can scream and yell up a storm :) I know my mom tried as best she could with the resources that were given to her at the time which was null. She was with us till 16 but the outcome was the same. On a brighter note she is in a beautiful group home now, the staff is like family, she is in a gorgeous house with only 4 other residents and they get one on one care and are spoiled, they take her everywhere and I can visit her and take her out anytime I wish. My mom is 90 now so she can't visit her anymore but my sister doesn't even seem to notice, my dad passed seven years ago. My parents had relinquished custody of her years ago to the state but we got her back after she was removed from the institution. I realize there are some horrible group homes out there and starting off my sister was in a couple of them. It took a while to find the perfect one but this one is run by Christian Services and it is amazing! I'm just curious if you don't mind me asking, what will happen after your mom passes? I can't imagine what it was like for you to lose your twin sister at such a young age, my mom has a twin and they are inseparable! Thank you for opening up your lives to us, my heart goes out to you all!
I went through it too. Two brothers, one older, one younger. Things were different back then, so terribly different. There was no help for our families. I am glad your sister is in a good place now. I lost my brothers ten years back. They were in a good group home by then, and together. When one died, the other did too, within months. It is a tragedy how disabled people were treated and we still need to come a long way, especially in poorer countries.
Thank you for your kind words and I guess I did ramble somewhat but it just hits me to the core when people who have no clue pass judgement on others. So sorry to hear of both your brothers passing, they must have been very close and how wonderful that they were together. It is different now days as far as the options offered to families but with funding being cut left and right I'm seeing a major impact on resources for the mentally handicapped in our own country. My parents had to pay for most things out of pocket once she was taken back from being a ward of the state. They were fortunate to have the funds to do so but allot of people are not in that same boat. I can't even imagine what it will be like for the people in other countries with the Zika virus who do not have the funds or the resources to deal with this.
4fus1on You were not ranting at all. Our stories need to be shared. I was so glad when public outcry closed down most institutions. But I feel like our governments used it for financial gain. Many families like yours pay so much out of pocket expense and struggle with little help. And many mentally ill people are living on the streets. A good group home is a treasure!! In many third world countries the treatment of the disabled is horrendous. It's so very sad.
4fus1on i appreciate you telling your familys story 💙
as the person above said, we need to address these real issues.so much is swept under the rug,its so easy for many to turn a blind eye 😔
im pleased your sister is in a good place now & i hope you are too ☮
4fus1on I
I never post about this sort of thing but need to now. I manage 2 group homes and in my homes this just would not happen! Shame on the providers of this home! You have failed to provide a safe environment and should be shut down! Horrible!
Quite a few of those institutions see patients as a financial commodity and have no incentive to help them progress. The are simply seen as "cash coss."
Jill is a remarkable young woman and even though her mother was unsure how to provide a sufficient level of care, that caused detrimental effects to Jill's life.. I'm glad its the family that have pull together for her.. Amazing stuff, more of that is needed❤️
When she laughed my heart exploded. What a miracle to see a genuine smile and laugh from her.
Everything I could say has already been said by many others here. The one thing I want to remark on is her hysterectomy scar. How awful of a surgeon did she have!? I've had a colostomy and it's been reversed back in the 80's, and I really did have ovarian cancer and I had a hysterectomy in 2007. I was on medicaid at the time so I didn't expect top notch care. But my scars are so insignificant I don't even notice it! And if there was a child, well, I've never seen a c-section scar that horrible either! What he hell did they do to that poor girl's abdomen! That just blows my mind. I guess they thought since she was intellectually disabled that her body was apparently not worth it either. I'd be willing to bet that some of her digestive issues arise from having scar tissue all over her intestines, holding things together that shouldn't be. There is just no need to cut her from ribcage to pelvis for a simple hysterectomy or one with child. Whoever was her surgeon shouldn't be in practice.
what a heartless mother...there's no excuse for not going to visit her daily or weekly....I've worked in group homes and they are treated very well....this family didn't want the burden of a child with special needs so they just dumped her off...fucking sick
Unless you have been in her shoes, you can go fuck yourself.
Funky Monkey there are no words to describe how ignorant you truly are she is now with her mother and to be honest I don't think it was her mother that wanted her to leave from what I have witnessed I do feel in my heart that it was her father didn't want her around she is now living happy with her mother and her sister that love her very much I know exactly what it's like to have a sibling with disabilities it's not easy when you pull together as one unit it's much easier so stop being a heartless individual because obviously you have no idea what it's like to have any kind of disability in your family if you do I feel sorry for the person that does have the disability to be related to you
So happy the family brought her home, which is where she needed to be. So thankful for the nephew. God bless him.
You can see the love Jill has for her Sister. Even when you can't say "I love you" them you can show it. :)
I could of have this happen to me.I have autism and there was times when I was real little that my Dad and my Grandma wanted to send me away to a group home for children. So glad my family did not give up on me b/c I now live on my own and I even graduated from college.If I were to be sent away my potential and what I have to show what I have in store would be thrown away.
I have a physical disability called Cerebral Palsy and I do very well considering I am in a manual wheelchair. I also graduated from college in 2015 from DeVry University in Computer Science. I graduated with Honors.
@@davidosborne2015 I am so happy I have the life I have now. I don't miss my childhood
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That hysterectomy shit and the reasons behind it blew my mind apart. Sick.
This was a really good documentary though. Thank you for sharing this.
How absolutely beautiful to see this family heal and this woman blossom in their loving care. Criminal charges due for the over use of meds, feeding tube, rape & hysterectomy at the group home ~ horrific !!! Kudos to the young film maker. Thx for increasing public awareness ~ God bless you.
In the home videos from when she was really little Jill seems really animated, but as an adult she acts more unresponsive. The lack of socialization and constant medications really messed her up.
Pregnant???!!!!! I hope this damn home she was in is shut down and some legal action was held against them!
Christen Denise my jaw dropped when I saw that part.
I have a beautiful daughter. Her name is Nicole. She was born with Cornelia De Lange syndrome. She will be 30 years old in November. I have had to place her in a group home because of her violent behavior. Nicole is extremely violent towards others and herself. My husband and I cannot control her. It breaks my heart that we can't have her with us. Sometimes there are extenuating circumstances that make it impossible to allow the disabled persons to live at home.
"losing jill"?! you gave her away, you locked her up and forgot she existed. you did not lose her.
Judging by the language the twin used surrounding the father's death-they 'regained custody' etc.-leads to some question as to whether they had the ability to get her out again. It seems like the father had the medical power of attorney and held onto it in the divorce, be that out of spite, shame, or a father knows best attitude. We can't ask him. He's deceased.
Madeleine I bet the father kept her away for whatever reason
Rachel Crabtree that's what it sounds like to me. You can tell her mum and sister love her and have a lot of guilt and regret about her being in that home.
While I think it's great her family decided to take her back home, I find it both puzzling and sad that they waited so long and even seemed to forget about her...
Devin Lind maybe the dad didn't want her in the house.
Ugh.
Rose Garcia we cannot assume anything about her father...he's gone and cannot defend himself or give his side of the events....
Devin Lind So very true
Devin Lind things were very different then as well. 2 decades ago no one around me or my parents knew nothing about mental illness even.
people give harmful advice every day. they dont realize how wrong they are. every issue needs to be studied from all angles before action, and quality of life is of the utmost importance.
the most defenseless are abused. And if not defenseless, they are abused until they are.
change is important... as well as taking responsibility for ones own words and actions..
Denial and ignorance is easy. but life is not meant to be easy. we are meant to help others live an easier life..
I'm sad. I know many people. not one has been willing to support me in my own chronic illness.. which is far from where this girl is at or has had to put up with. so I can imagine.
ive been over medicated. I walked into walls.. and once I woke up unable to move a single muscle. it felt like concrete.
medication is toxic. it kills people and makes ppl sick for life.
This is truly heartbreaking big time! I am so glad this video was made so that people can see what these institutions are truly like.
all this progression jill made, couldve been done when she was 8. if her mother didnt have the patience and strength to deal with jill back when she was a child, then how is she capable now, when she is older and divorced
Thank you for making this documentary and sharing your family's story. I graduated with a degree in special education and all of my experiences with older individuals with intellectual disabilities encountered some aspect of the medical model. I hope with early intervention for pregnant mothers and programs like ChildFind that future generations can get access to health education programs, assistive therapies, and community resources. Individuals with disabilities are people first.
"They" didn't take away her joy. The mom locked it away. This was her fault.
Nikki Yannikos Completely! 40 years of torture for her daughter is on her mother for sure!
Nikki Yannikos the dad too
Always the mother ain't it? Don't forget the father was her legal guardian and was able to decide what would happen to his daughter.
I worked in nursing homes and seen the abuse that goes on.When I reported it I got fired.So much cover up goes on.This is so hard for any family.Jill is so beautiful inside and out.Im so sorry for all Jill and her family experienced.Gods Blessings to them.
Why wasn't the group home employees investigated? Why weren't the guilty caregivers charged?? It infuriates me knowing that this can happen to people that can't advocate for themselves!!!
Russell Davis they gave her a hysterectomy claiming she had cancer. No proof she was pregnant
Oh, it's too painful and devastating to talk about putting your flesh and blood in a group home, but it, apparently, wasn't too painful and devastating to actually do it. Did any family member even go near this poor woman for years? How could they not visit her and raise hell that she was on all these unnecessary medications, covered in severe psoriasis, and how was it that she ended up having to be fed through a tube in her stomach? Seems they just dumped her and ceased to acknowledge that she even existed. Seems to me she was a simply a beautiful, loving, sweet little girl with no behavioral problems that I could see, Very affectionate....and, chick, you didn't LOSE your sister, she was shunted away...
IntheLandofMordor, Some people just don't want the responsibility. It's a lot of time and money to take care of someone who is severely disabled. Some people just can't handle it. It's like they signed their rights away to that person and they only hope the state takes care of them.
yeah it's good that when you found yourself in the exact same situation as this woman u kept your daughter/son at home and/or did the right thing and visited her/so regularly. Do you still do that? How often do u go? It's good you are able to since people can be so judgmental of things they themselves have never gone though!. How is your intellectually disabled child now btw? Probably getting excellent care! Too bad everyone isn't like you.
I can appreciate the fact that this could be an overwhelming prospect, year in and year out for any family...I have no problem with placing a severely disabled child in a home as a very last resort and after extensive checking and monitoring of many places...but this woman said they visited this girl once and could not bring themselves to go back. The sister even said she forgot about having a sister.sometimes This was her TWIN sister. That is what I take issue with, never going about the child or, obviously, not caring one iota about her welfare just as long as you're not saddled with her.
Catherine Blair, If the above is supposed to be leveled at me...No, I don't have children, but I WILL tell you one damned thing, if I'd EVER had a child like this girl, no way in hell would I have sat around on my ass and ignored her and let her be forgotten...and don't give me any of that "walk a mile in her shoes". and "there but for the grace of God go I" shit, because that doesn't cut any ice with me. No, apparently, this woman isn't like me...I am a person with compassion and a heart, two things this woman clearly lacks...
So you can check your little sarcastic-assed comments at the door..
You don't know me, and you know even less about what in the hell you're talking about.
IntheLandofMordor You have stated all I wanted to say so I concor :)
+IntheLandofMordor Why are you blaming the girl? She's a total rockstar for stepping up when she was an adult.
I'm left with more questions than answers... why did she not visit till after a year when she found out she was pregnant??? ???
While I commend her mother and sister for finally stepping ip to care gor Jill I have to say if they had been visiting and more involved with her care she might not have went downhill mentally and physically like she did. I am by no means blaming them for doing what they did and I worked in an institution and a group home for 37 yrs so I know what goes on. We could never understand how a family could just forget they had a child that was not normal. Restraints in the state of NY was outlawed in the late 1970's. In any case I am overjoyed that Jill is home with a family who loves her so much. Love and acceptance means so much. God bless Jill. She is amazing and I know she understands more than she can communicate. Truly an inspiration.
How does a parent just abandon their child....especially after 8 years! I guess it's good they finally got her back
pixie1310 To me they don't deserve to have her back after they lived their lives and forgot about her all those years.
pixie1310 all her mom has to say for herself was "it was too painful." How about Jill? Did she not deserve a family or at least visiting her on holidays? So sad.
Yeah really. I understand that she forced herself to close off emotionally, but that does not make what she did right at all.
I wouldn't want to have to care for a disabled child, either. Do you have any fucking idea how ridiculously draining it is? I know a woman who has two special needs children and they're putting all of their money towards treatments and hospital visits. Especially in the 60s, nobody knew how to handle that. You know what? I would probably do the same thing. I have to focus on myself and the family I have and I can't just throw money around like that.
Cody Williams--She could have at least visited the child and made sure she was properly cared for and brought her toys, a radio, a TV if she had a bedroom, things to pass the time. She was a human being, not a damn farm animal.
This video gave me chills watching Jills progress grow after moving in with her Mom and sister. Just shows what love and support can do. Judos to her Mother, sister and Bruno!!! Thank you, Bruno, for this touching and powerful video.
Institutions are inherently cold and unloving places because the workers there don't love or care about the people; your own family would care for you how you need, an institution will only give you enough to keep others content, because as a disabled person you cannot contest any treatment given to you. The workers do not have time to look to every person. You either sink or you swim, there's nobody to look out for your well-being and abuse may happen because no-one will step in to stop it in time. I think nobody should be put through the indignity that comes with institutionalisation. Nothing can rival the love of being part of a family.
the negative comments... it's what I've always said, then and now. Things were different before and thankfully our views and ideas evolve. we're growing into a better self, more thoughtful, more understanding, deeper souls.
I'm glad her Mom is able to love her now. I know she loved her before but thens influence and time was much different. all my hugs to them
Mum laughing with her daughter Jill is one of the purest best things I've seen in a very long time.
mother didn't love her too much to visit and see her how she was doing.
summer bertram selfish mother
She cared more about HER pain rather then being there for her daughter.
You are absolutely right she did care more about herself what a sad sad life the little girl lived and endured
aww I hope Jill is doing well. I hate to think of people being hurt in group homes!! My son is Autistic, and I will be there till the day I die!
Tanya Tro God bless you
Tanya Tro that's what makes you an awesome mom
Tanya Tro that's really awesome but I think you should prepare him for his life after your death . unless someone else in your family will take him 90 per cent of the time they end up in a facility and it's easier to adjust with a parents help
He is only 6 right now, but it is in the life long plan. :-)
Aww Thank you so much. :-)
Thanks so much for sharing this very touching, personal story. I have been searching for information on ID since we began fostering a newborn with brain damage 8 months ago. We hope to adopt her, and your sharing of Jill's story is so helpful and you are all such an inspiration. This video shows what real love is.
one therapist told me he didnt care about my happiness so there you go
Thank you for this film. We need more compassion in our world. As my own mother's caregiver, I have learned to NEVER JUDGE ANOTHER unless you are enduring the same situation. What her parents had knowledge to or opportunities back in the early '70s is not the same today. I wish Jill and her family peace and health.
What an incredible transformation! I can’t begin to imagine what Jill has suffered but she has a brighter future and we can only hope that her past trauma doesn’t spoil her joy.
When Jill walked across the room towards her wheelchair, I was holding my breathe. And when she sat down & crossed her legs I was cheering. I also loved the sisters talking about her having muscle tone back in her legs. "No, yes you do!". I'm glad she's doing better. Thank you Bruno for making this video. And for helping your Aunt in so many ways w/o acting like it was a chore. Everyone can see how much she loves you & the rest of the family. Keep fighting the good fight!
Jill looks much better glad she’s safe and at home with someone to protect her..she has her own bed and is safe and medically taken care of ,,,thank goodness she’s safe and her last years she will be loved
Her sister loves her so much, treats her like a human being.
It is extremely easier on the staff, to do a G-tube, than to have to feed them orally. Any patient that I had on long term feeding tubes, no longer wanted to be alive. I no nothing about the institution that Jill was living in, but if a resident was able to be raped, and probably several times, with no other staff member finding out, they were most likely severly understaffed, like most of these places are.
Chris Hildreth This is true. You wouldn't believe how many hospitals try to put feeding tubes in individuals because it is easier that way. And when the person cannot advocate for themselves, that is very scary. I work in the healthcare coordination department at a non-profit that serves people with disabilities. It's so sickening that stuff like this still happens. Or hospitals basically ignoring a person because they are not verbal.
Some people need to humble themselves and chill. Miracles really do happen, Jill and her family are living proof of that. Thanks for sharing your beautiful story.
Why would you as a mother, not visit your own daughter, for a year after her hysterectomy? This is disgusting. I'm not doubting it's hard looking after a special needs child but to not visit her, to tell her twin not to talk about it, it's horrific. That poor beautiful girl was raped. It was obvious, as you recognised all her symptoms yet you failed to visit her for a year after the hysterectomy. My God, I would be battling it out with the home, bringing my daughter home immediately and making damned sure everyone knew about the negligence in this so called care home. Shame in you. Also I would suggest you don't want to talk about the day you let her go into that God forsaken place, is because you're ashamed, and damned right too.
I'm angry that this mother dropped her child off ! After she had this surgery the mother saw her ONE YEAR LATER!! Still didn't care enough to take her out of that situation! All those years!
Yes it is so sad that the phony mother didn't go see her very much..Especially after the surgery. A year goes by and the mother didn't visit her daughter after surgery.Heartless,selfish mother...The mother is getting older now,,,felling guilty..She knows dam well that she could of taken care of her daughter,.....The mother had her freedom for the 40 years since she left her daughter in that terrible place..And then the mother didn't visit much..Why?? Excuses,,Excuses!!!! I see Jill has improved..Imagine what she would have been like if she wasn't put in that place at 8 years old...She could have had a better life,,,but her mom took that away from her.