Well There's Your Problem | Episode 70: Medieval Siege Warfare

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  • Опубліковано 20 сер 2024
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 1 тис.

  • @derpderpson2188
    @derpderpson2188 3 роки тому +1749

    LO SIRE I AM A FREE DWELLER UPON THIS LAND AND MAKE NO TITHE TO THY VASSALS
    REMOVETH THY KNIGHTS FROM MINE PROPERTY, I MAKETH NO CONSENT TO A SEARCH OF MINE OX CART

  • @LukeCorreia
    @LukeCorreia 3 роки тому +618

    i realized the problem with medieval siege weapons when i played mount and blade warband and my guys kept shoving me off the tower

    • @MrTheWaterbear
      @MrTheWaterbear 3 роки тому +46

      Just an incredibly random side-note, you have fantastic fucking taste in channels. Your sub list is incredible ^^
      Cheers!

    • @emorydomke7773
      @emorydomke7773 3 роки тому +52

      The fall of Constantinople except one guy is standing in the doorway at the top of the tower and no one can get by because he's some sort of immovable object.

    • @themeatynugget4015
      @themeatynugget4015 3 роки тому +24

      fancy seeing you here, funny voice man!

    • @jutzzw7954
      @jutzzw7954 3 роки тому +10

      @@emorydomke7773 Fall of Constantinople but its just one guy falling down a tower

    • @furnish1696
      @furnish1696 3 роки тому +2

      @@jutzzw7954 *getting tossed off the tower

  • @djhakase
    @djhakase 3 роки тому +498

    Remember, Hogwarts students are legal combatants: Defense Against the Dark Arts classes waive their civilian status.

    • @maxpar6764
      @maxpar6764 Рік тому +43

      Technically this isn't true as practice doesn't make you a combatant. Now Dumbledors army and the order of Phoenix are unquestionably para military militias engaged in open hostilities and combat with the death eaters which are also a paramilitary militia and also insurgents and terrorists. But that's not nearly as fun.

    • @boydsinclair7606
      @boydsinclair7606 Рік тому +9

      Don't want to ruin anyone's emersion; so if they pull a wand, drop them. 😏

    • @DAFLIDMAN
      @DAFLIDMAN Рік тому +12

      Calling in a bombing run on hogwarts due to sporadic tracer fire

    • @ladywaffle2210
      @ladywaffle2210 11 місяців тому +5

      @@DAFLIDMAN "So you know what we did to Monte Cassino? We do that, but with B-21s."

    • @ladywaffle2210
      @ladywaffle2210 11 місяців тому +5

      @@maxpar6764 I think this would mostly come down to an RoE question. Since members of Dumbledore's Army and the Order of the Phoenix would be camouflaged in the general student body, it would be up to the attackers to determine whether or not possession of a wand would be a valid reason to engage. You might be able to determine this based on past NATO RoEs regarding child soldiers, which I do not want to research currently.

  • @Raw774
    @Raw774 3 роки тому +495

    the obvious defence against dragons is MASSIVE anti-pigeon spikes

    • @stiltpuppy
      @stiltpuppy 3 роки тому +22

      fire truck with hose. make it wet.

    • @ragnar3434
      @ragnar3434 3 роки тому +19

      Thats why Bowser's castle looks like that

    • @DieNibelungenliad
      @DieNibelungenliad 3 роки тому +11

      All the King has to do is invest in ballistas but he spent all the gold in the treasury on a lifetime supply of wine in the larder.

    • @Kuhmuhnistische_Partei
      @Kuhmuhnistische_Partei 3 роки тому +23

      I heard it's really effective to fill every bit of land with hungry bears, so everywhere the dragon tries to land it will be attacked by those bears like pirhanas in a cartoon river.

    • @SonsOfLorgar
      @SonsOfLorgar 3 роки тому +5

      @@Kuhmuhnistische_Partei OR you invent the Bofors 40mm AA gun...

  • @semirrahge
    @semirrahge 3 роки тому +564

    Discussing Hogwarts:
    "So apparently this place only exists if you believe in it, or something."
    "You mean, like a... gender?"
    Gold and platinum in one.

  • @deeznoots6241
    @deeznoots6241 3 роки тому +391

    They better talk about the English king who built a massive trebuchet to knock down a Scottish castle, the Scottish upon seeing it surrendered, but the English king wanted to use it so much he refused the surrender just to use it

    • @Meatloaf_TV
      @Meatloaf_TV 3 роки тому +31

      Do you mean the War wolf?

    • @deeznoots6241
      @deeznoots6241 3 роки тому +10

      @@Meatloaf_TV yes

    • @whitedrawf
      @whitedrawf 3 роки тому +15

      That was Edward II. If I am not mistaken

    • @liocla2331
      @liocla2331 3 роки тому +135

      I paid for the whole trebuchet, I'm going to use the whole trebuchet

    • @foursix32
      @foursix32 3 роки тому +71

      actual king shit

  • @arkadeepkundu4729
    @arkadeepkundu4729 3 роки тому +184

    _Stands on a city wall & gestures at the besieging army assembling trebuchets_
    *Well there's your problem*

  • @mkepioneet
    @mkepioneet 3 роки тому +307

    17:13 (Dave Courtney voice) we're about to build a HIGHLY ILLEGAL fortification

    • @smc4229
      @smc4229 3 роки тому +9

      Watch out for the buttery stairs though

    • @siddharthm285
      @siddharthm285 3 роки тому +17

      Behold, I hath the power to summon 500 flat-nosed medieval geezers

  • @k4pacific
    @k4pacific 3 роки тому +66

    Around 1:23:00 you mention the problem of finding enough heavy rocks to feed the trebuchet. The solution is to have a chain of trebuchets spaced 1000 or so feet apart leading from the quarry to the castle being sieged.

  • @nanothrill7171
    @nanothrill7171 3 роки тому +278

    This was an excellent episode, and also Dr. Janega is an amazing guest host that seems to slot right in with the other WTYP people, like the missing fourth member we didn't know was missing.

    • @jeffreymilliman2306
      @jeffreymilliman2306 3 роки тому +16

      She is pretty great. She was really enjoyable on an episode of QAnon Anonymous, too.

    • @hayes1008
      @hayes1008 3 роки тому +4

      I actually completely agree. She slots in perfectly.

    • @SlashCampable
      @SlashCampable 2 роки тому +8

      Seriously, they need to bring her on more often. She rocks.

    • @tryste_mx
      @tryste_mx 2 роки тому +1

      She and Liam were separated at birth. Love it.

  • @nathanieltodd5767
    @nathanieltodd5767 3 роки тому +347

    I have to give a shoutout to the last historical use of a trebuchet in active warfare, wherein spanish conquistadors were running low on the gunpowder they had brought with them, and obviously getting more shipped over was too much of a pain in the ass, so they decided 'hey why don't we build ourselves a trebuchet' and proceeded to fuck up the trajectory calculations and sent a rock flying straight up in the air and crashing right back down on their own dumbass heads.

    • @DieNibelungenliad
      @DieNibelungenliad 3 роки тому +91

      The best part is how Cortez mentioned how he never listened again to the guy who suggested the trebuchet.

    • @PobortzaPl
      @PobortzaPl 3 роки тому +46

      That proves how quickly unused knowledge disappears.

    • @Kuhmuhnistische_Partei
      @Kuhmuhnistische_Partei 3 роки тому +85

      I searched for evidence and there are some notes, but nothing is really that impressive. Cortés himself wrote in his Third Letter:
      "The catapult took some four days to put into position even after it appeared in the square, Meanwhile our Indian allies were proclaiming to those in the city in what a marvelous manner we were going to kill them all... Both hopes however were doomed to disappointment, for neither did the carpenters succeed in working their engine, nor did the inhabitants though frightened make any move towards surrender, so that we were obliged to cover up the failure of the catapult by saying that moved by compassion we were unwilling to kill them all."
      There is also an account by Díaz del Castillo:
      "In Cortés; camp there was a soldier [...] and he talked much about engines of war and that he could make a catapult [...]. Cortés promptly set to work to make the catapult... When the catapult was made and set up in the way that the soldier ordered, and he said it was ready to be discharged, they placed a suitable stone in the sling which had been made and all this stone did was to rise no higher than the catapult and fall back upon where it had been set up... Cortés at once ordered the catapult to be taken to pieces."
      So nowhere is really stated that the catapult actually shot a rock high enough to be destroyed by it. There is also an account by the missionary priest Bernardino de Sahagún who lived with the Aztecs:
      "And then those Spaniards installed a catapult on top of an altar platform with which to hurl stones at the people. And when they had it ready and were about to shoot it off, they gathered around it, vigorously pointing their fingers, pointing at the people, pointing to where all the people were assembled at Amaxac, showing them to each other. The Spaniards spread out their arms, showing how they would shoot and hurl it at them, as if they were using a sling on them. Then they wound it up, then the arm of the catapult rose up. But the stone did not land on the people, but fell behind the marketplace at Xomolco. Because of that the Spaniards there argued among themselves. They looked as if they were jabbering their fingers in one another's faces, chattering a great deal."
      I really like the last one. It sounds like the Spanish conquistadors were a bunch of guys trying to assemble some piece of IKEA furniture while arguing with each other and in the end they just fail.
      And there were actually more recent uses of trebuchet. According to Wikipedia:
      "In 2013, during the Syrian civil war, rebels were filmed using a trebuchet in the Battle of Aleppo. The trebuchet was used to project explosives at government troops.
      In 2014, during the Hrushevskoho street riots in Ukraine, rioters used an improvised trebuchet to throw bricks and molotov cocktails at the Berkut"

    • @robin8404
      @robin8404 3 роки тому +11

      Good: building a guillotine to take to a protest like those folks did to protest their corrupt government a few months back
      Better: building a trebuchet during a protest

    • @Kuhmuhnistische_Partei
      @Kuhmuhnistische_Partei 3 роки тому +6

      @@robin8404 Even better: defend that trebuchet with a roman-style shield formation.

  • @tompain9735
    @tompain9735 3 роки тому +94

    We built an 8’’ high trebuchet for pumpkin chucking in my senior year of HS, one of my groupmate’s dad was a master carpenter so this was the real deal. We were able to launch a pumpkin through the uprights from the other site of the football field. So if Liam get get a hold of Walt, I can reach out to my old HS friend see if we can’t make dreams reality here.

    • @PanAndScanBuddy
      @PanAndScanBuddy 3 роки тому +2

      That's beautiful

    • @wea69420
      @wea69420 2 роки тому +6

      8 inch

    • @geoffreyentwistle8176
      @geoffreyentwistle8176 3 місяці тому

      Reminds me of my high school physics class... We had to build trebuchets and demonstrate that our calculations for the projector trajectories were accurate, with bonus points for the farthest throw. Most of us kept it to something we could bring to school by hand... Most of us.
      One pair of girls in the class decided to build their trebuchet much closer to full scale than any of us. The pivot was at about head height, and it used about a dozen bags of cement for the counterweight. For their projectile, they used a bowling ball.
      Those two were pretty damn cool. XD

  • @BillieB1996
    @BillieB1996 3 роки тому +114

    "Airpower is really good when attacking a castle.." And here i am imagining divebombing wyverns with the bigger dragons doing level bombing passes

  • @deeznoots6241
    @deeznoots6241 3 роки тому +171

    1:26:15 surprised they didn’t mention that when both sides had siege weapons in a siege, they would quite often literally throw the stones back at each other, like a deadly ping pong game

  • @CommieGIR
    @CommieGIR 3 роки тому +100

    Launching Tesla cars into castles, where the auto-drive feature rams them into Guards, who are obviously identified as Police cars and burst into inextinguishable flame.

  • @matthewbalch3324
    @matthewbalch3324 3 роки тому +188

    Registering the call sign WTYP and broadcasting needs to be a Patreon goal.

  • @masonsfoodforest5046
    @masonsfoodforest5046 3 роки тому +406

    I’m just here to hear Roz say yes

  • @mikeandrewp
    @mikeandrewp 3 роки тому +186

    Age of Empires II is still going strong. Definitive Edition is being updated regularly and they just had a tournament with an $80,000 prize a couple months ago.

    • @yaelnamias
      @yaelnamias 3 роки тому +21

      Shame they didn't mention the ancestral tradition of the DauT castle.

    • @blueroman5538
      @blueroman5538 3 роки тому +8

      Me and my friends play it all the time. It’s still really fun for such an old game

    • @neapettledicoin4853
      @neapettledicoin4853 3 роки тому +2

      Yeah it turns out all you need to breach a castle is a snake.

    • @LordMangudai
      @LordMangudai 3 роки тому +1

      AoE2 gang chiming in!

    • @MorgensternIV
      @MorgensternIV 2 роки тому

      Played it a lot as a lad. Shit at it though.

  • @Triforian
    @Triforian 3 роки тому +69

    For your convenience
    0:00 - Intro
    3:35 - The God Damn News
    8:39 - Siege (french for...)
    15:26 - To Be Sieged: Castles & Walls
    54:28 - Anti-Castle Technology
    1:26:28 - Siegeing "Exercises" 1 & 2
    1:35:49 - The Cannon
    1:45:10 - "Exercise" 3 & Modern Castle Use
    1:55:39 - Safety Third
    2:01:11 - Plugs & Outro
    Cheers!

    • @thesuit4820
      @thesuit4820 2 роки тому +8

      Be careful, you risk making WTYP sound organised.

    • @cookiesonastick
      @cookiesonastick Рік тому +1

      Thanks for the guide!

  • @xmlthegreat
    @xmlthegreat 2 роки тому +92

    Just have Eleanor on permanently... She's just really damn good and meshes with the cast so well.

    • @authoranonymous8892
      @authoranonymous8892 Рік тому +8

      Apparently she's on a different podcast called "We're Not So Different" about medieval history.

    • @coreygolpheneee
      @coreygolpheneee 11 місяців тому +6

      She's like Kate Wagner in the sense though that she is very very in her lane, the Avery hall episode is awesome but you can't tell she loves architectural acoustics like a first born lmao

  • @cGoryeo
    @cGoryeo 3 роки тому +47

    Its only a Castel if it's received royal assent from the Faber region of Bavaria, otherwise its just a sparkling Fort

  • @deeznoots6241
    @deeznoots6241 3 роки тому +65

    Its worth pointing out the real reason why cannon were not big in Japan is because Japanese castles were built very differently because a traditional castle in Japan would just get destroyed by an Earthquake

    • @95keat
      @95keat 3 роки тому +6

      They also had alot of trouble getting one end of the tube to close correctly to make the barrel

    • @daved2352
      @daved2352 3 роки тому +3

      Does that mean that the projectile would just rip through leaving a hole but not actually causing significant structural collapse?

    • @deeznoots6241
      @deeznoots6241 3 роки тому +23

      @@daved2352 rather that Japanese castles don’t really have significant walls, relying more on earthworks which are naturally resistant to cannonfire.

    • @steemlenn8797
      @steemlenn8797 3 роки тому +20

      @@daved2352 A japanese castle is first of all an earthwork, not a wall. And the stone walls around the dirt are angled, so a lot of the power of the cannonballs would be diverted. (And it does not help much to poke a hole into a hill anyway). And the walls that were there (on top) were indeed so thin that a cannonball would just poke a hole through and that's it.
      There were fully wooden cannons though.

    • @steemlenn8797
      @steemlenn8797 2 роки тому +7

      @A D lol maybe. But it might have been that they didn't have any cannonballs so they needed to melt the temple bells first and ran out of time.
      No joke, this happened with Russian ships swimming by at least once. But in return, the Japanese would sometimes catch Russians left on a remote Island that forgot to get onboard again because they were so drunk.
      Ah, history is fun! They just never tell you the cool stuff at school.

  • @Scottrick
    @Scottrick 3 роки тому +88

    1:23:26 "You could usually get off two big rocks an hour"
    Missed opportunity

    • @daved2352
      @daved2352 3 роки тому +7

      That damned refractory period though right.

  • @spamviking
    @spamviking 3 роки тому +85

    If I were laying siege to Disneyland's castle, I'd put agents in among the cast members, from all the Reddit stories I've read they're a very disgruntled peasantry ripe for the seeds of revolution to be sown.

    • @steemlenn8797
      @steemlenn8797 3 роки тому +13

      Nonono, can't be! They are always smiling and happy! See, it's written here in the staff directions page 2, point 4.

  • @117steeldragon
    @117steeldragon 3 роки тому +74

    Your forgetting the amount of firepower Cinderella's castle has. Especially since they have been stockpiling from not having highly fireworks shows. But it would be fun to watch!

    • @DieNibelungenliad
      @DieNibelungenliad 3 роки тому +8

      Just imagine if all the gunpowder exploded inside by accident.

  • @WingsStrings
    @WingsStrings 3 роки тому +41

    hijacking Ward Kimball's steam engine and pulling up to cinderella's castle with a 5/8 scale replica of the civil war rail mortar

  • @connorhoyle2926
    @connorhoyle2926 3 роки тому +93

    When your earings make your ears swell up thats metallergy.

    • @williamchamberlain2263
      @williamchamberlain2263 3 роки тому +8

      And someone's ear gets that weird green tinge and you have to convince them it's not really silver

    • @OhShitSeriously
      @OhShitSeriously 3 роки тому +7

      Or just a really lousy piercing parlor. Don't assume just because you see an autoclave that they ever actually use it...

    • @maggggers5108
      @maggggers5108 3 роки тому +19

      To the tune of 'that's amoré'

    • @user-cw3yc3yk3h
      @user-cw3yc3yk3h 3 роки тому +8

      I had a coworker once who was SEVERELY allergic to nickel, it’s a bad life to lead

    • @bladeunity8636
      @bladeunity8636 3 роки тому +2

      metalleargy

  • @katiepatrick425
    @katiepatrick425 Рік тому +7

    Hi it's me again, the girl recovering from a TBI.
    Since I don't remember listening to this the first time, I'll enjoy this pseudo-first listen.
    Thanks~ Katie she/her

    • @5508Vanderdekken
      @5508Vanderdekken 7 місяців тому

      Terminal brain injury? Tibial bone injury?

  • @AlRoderick
    @AlRoderick 3 роки тому +146

    Hagrid doesn't need to flip to be an informant.
    "I shouldn't have told you that..."

    • @jasonfifi
      @jasonfifi 3 роки тому +14

      the absolute superman/god/machine of exposition reveal.

    • @daved2352
      @daved2352 3 роки тому +11

      @@jasonfifi Hagrid ex[position] machina

    • @alaeriia01
      @alaeriia01 2 роки тому +3

      Oh yeah, a big ole bottle of Firewhiskey and you're good to go.

  • @Phenoix777
    @Phenoix777 3 роки тому +137

    Can't wait for 9 months of "Liams led by Donkeys"

    • @Nick_J_
      @Nick_J_ 3 роки тому +1

      It’ll rule

    • @cmarano
      @cmarano 3 роки тому +3

      Liam's guest spot on LLbD's MK 14 torpedo episode was super fun. Liam was hilarious.

    • @Rolan7196
      @Rolan7196 2 роки тому +4

      Spoiler alert: pretty great!

  • @kerb23
    @kerb23 3 роки тому +112

    Shaking my smh, can't believe they didn't even do a 40 minute tangent about the War Wolf

    • @dascommissar5264
      @dascommissar5264 3 роки тому +8

      Look into lions led by donkeys podcast. They’ve got about three episodes on that.

  • @thanatos7007
    @thanatos7007 3 роки тому +21

    So that thing on the front of the siege tower isn't a battering ram, it's a spacer. It's there to let the people pushing the tower know they're close enough to the wall to drop the bridge without missing.

  • @RedWurm
    @RedWurm 3 роки тому +88

    The hogwarts wall would probably be pretty strong, because unlike many medieval castles, they wouldn't have latrines built into them.

    • @flabreque
      @flabreque 3 роки тому +19

      Shadiversity has a good rundown on why Hogwart’s wall is pointless.
      1. Not high enough to protect 12 year olds from enemy fire.
      2. There’s a fucking opening between two wall segments where the kids go though to go I to Hogsmeade.
      3. It doesn’t have machicolations.

    • @cleverusername9369
      @cleverusername9369 Рік тому +1

      ​@@flabreque but... magic

    • @boydsinclair7606
      @boydsinclair7606 Рік тому +2

      You seen the pests they get in their dungeon and plumbing??? 🧌 🐍

  • @dmrr7739
    @dmrr7739 3 роки тому +33

    The previous incident was not in Switzerland, it was in Cavalese Italy. That’s when a US Marine pilot hotdogged through the canyon fast and low, just a few feet under the cable, or in this case, through the cable. 20 people plunged to their deaths. It was so bad, the pilot probably should have been held responsible in some way- like being demoted or getting fired or something. He wasn’t, but he eventually did go to jail for a few months because he burned the videotape from the plane’s camera.

    • @alexmuller6752
      @alexmuller6752 Рік тому +1

      they made an episode on this, i was a bit confused how much they misremembered the details

  • @james02808
    @james02808 3 роки тому +74

    If I may make a suggestion, The IJN Taihou an armored aircraft carrier that between design choices and human error became a massive fuel air bomb

    • @williamchamberlain2263
      @williamchamberlain2263 3 роки тому +30

      It's a good Safety Third; make sure _all_ your officers have _some_ damage control training, and make sure you've got backup motors to force ventilation from lower decks _up._

    • @WebertHest
      @WebertHest 3 роки тому +19

      Drachnifel has a video on it, and as a bonus, he knows what he is talking about, and spends his time talking about it.

    • @SportyMabamba
      @SportyMabamba 3 роки тому +11

      @@WebertHest Drach’s vid on the sinking of the Shokaku, his vid on Damage Control and his vid on restoring Pearl Harbour for the triple-threat. Excellent channel always 🤩

    • @JrgPt96
      @JrgPt96 3 роки тому +9

      @@WebertHest I wouldn't have thought of a colab between the channels, but now I want to see it. Def chaotic vs lawful energy.

    • @Debilitator47
      @Debilitator47 3 роки тому +14

      @@SportyMabamba @WebertHest Drachnifel's video on the Type 14 torpedoes is practically a WTYP episode that he solo'ed. Politics, egos, lack of testing, lack of funds for testing, and plenty of dead American sailors as a result. I didn't even know who or what BuOrd was, and after that episode I hate them with a deep passion.

  • @r2dezki
    @r2dezki 3 роки тому +60

    Damn, this episode was pure art. "How to siege Hogwarts" was my favorite part.

  • @boborappa
    @boborappa 2 роки тому +9

    Btw, if anyone is interested, the reason cannons didn't develop in China isn't because of metallurgy. Standard walls in china were outer stone facades over compacted earth. This type of wall naturally absorbs mad cannon fire and led to east asia focusing on small arms.

    • @joshuahadams
      @joshuahadams 5 місяців тому

      There were cannons in east Asia, largely naval and field guns to blast holes in ships or cut lines through formations of soldiers.

  • @botbtquarrel4072
    @botbtquarrel4072 3 роки тому +21

    33:42 The other key thing about the bay windows for your wall is they let you shoot down the length of it, which gives you a better angle on your friends when they're coming up the ladders to deliver you presents, or if they're pointing their shields at the people on top of the wall

  • @danielkorladis7869
    @danielkorladis7869 3 роки тому +38

    It's amazing how many bizarre ideas were tried to just overcome Big Wall.

    • @sammosaurusrex
      @sammosaurusrex 3 роки тому +4

      Not least of which was a giant hollow horse statue

    • @steemlenn8797
      @steemlenn8797 3 роки тому +1

      If you are amazed by that, you haven't heard about the Berlin Wall I guess.

    • @taliaroses
      @taliaroses Рік тому +3

      @@steemlenn8797 I mean to be fair, the Berlin Wall was technically TWO big walls.

  • @truegopnik6591
    @truegopnik6591 3 роки тому +40

    The virgin European siege engines vs the Chad ancient Chinese “diverting an entire fucking river to flood a city you’ve put under siege.”

    • @DieNibelungenliad
      @DieNibelungenliad 3 роки тому +6

      Didn't Genghis Khan tried to flood a city only to accidentally flood his own camp?

    • @truegopnik6591
      @truegopnik6591 3 роки тому +6

      @@DieNibelungenliad probably. It had about the same probability of killing your own army as gas attacks in WWI did.

    • @tibbygaycat
      @tibbygaycat Рік тому +3

      @@truegopnik6591 the river is the gas attack of medieval warfare

  • @viniciusdesouzamaia
    @viniciusdesouzamaia 3 роки тому +16

    OH MY GOD Osha compliant siege ladders absolutely murdered me. I love this podcast.

  • @storeswallah
    @storeswallah 3 роки тому +19

    My approach to besieging Disneyland would begin with trebuchets on the Santa Ana Freeway throwing diseased cow corpses into Mickey's Toontown.

  • @BartJBols
    @BartJBols 3 роки тому +21

    Palace = fortified house of the king or direct royalty.
    Castle = fortified house of the royal/noble caste in general.
    Burcht = fortified civil, cultural or governmental house.
    Fort = military fortification that does not permanently house anyone but the military staff to defend it. Everything above is also technically a Fort.

    • @DieNibelungenliad
      @DieNibelungenliad 3 роки тому +2

      Palace is not necessarily fortified.
      Palace is just a grand house of a rich person. A castle is a fortified palace.

    • @thewingedporpoise
      @thewingedporpoise 3 роки тому

      @@DieNibelungenliad I think palace is specifically royalty, rich large houses are sometimes described as palatial, but not palaces in and of themselves

    • @BartJBols
      @BartJBols 3 роки тому

      @@DieNibelungenliad It gets a bit muddy, but can you name a palace that is not fortified in some way?

    • @daved2352
      @daved2352 3 роки тому

      @@BartJBols does Buckingham have anything other than the gate with guards?

  • @hagbardceline7118
    @hagbardceline7118 3 роки тому +14

    I'm in Halifax and the noon cannon went off while listening! Also it's the Metro Centre, no one calls it the Scotia Bank Centre.

  • @danielkorladis7869
    @danielkorladis7869 3 роки тому +128

    "Siege Engine Prolapse" sounds like a grindcore band name.

    • @daved2352
      @daved2352 3 роки тому +5

      @@EmeraldLavigne Bardcore Grindcore crossover is gonna be the summer hit 2021

  • @GyroCoder
    @GyroCoder 3 роки тому +59

    I'm surprised you didn't show a slide of Groverhaus when you said "First, we have to talk about Castles" but the Disney Magic Kingdom is a good bit too.

    • @novaiscool1
      @novaiscool1 3 роки тому +2

      Groverhaus isn't a castle though it's clearly some sort of manner house.

    • @riinak7212
      @riinak7212 3 роки тому +2

      @@novaiscool1 You mean Manor House? Yeah...

    • @crime_elfs
      @crime_elfs 3 роки тому +4

      @@riinak7212 it is a very polite structure

  • @monsoonmast
    @monsoonmast 3 роки тому +30

    I just realized US sanctions (eg on Cuba) are a form of modern siege weapon.

    • @Debilitator47
      @Debilitator47 3 роки тому +14

      And sieges are a war crime, as defined by every nation.
      Sanctions affect the civilians of a nation, while the ruling class and elites are spared most of the effects. Sanctions should be ended post-haste, they are a humanitarian crisis, and an avoidable one at that.

    • @monsoonmast
      @monsoonmast 3 роки тому +4

      @@Debilitator47 absolutely.

    • @sereminar4
      @sereminar4 3 роки тому +4

      Sanctions are indeed a form of siege warfare a la blockade

  • @b_g_kells
    @b_g_kells 3 роки тому +20

    The Hobbit had anti-dragon weapons, though it wasn't in a castle so I guess that wouldn't count?

  • @rubenthiel1214
    @rubenthiel1214 3 роки тому +52

    If I wasn't into hearing you make light of horrible things happening to undeserving (and sometimes wholly deserving) people I wouldn't have stuck around since the silver bridge

  • @ANunes06
    @ANunes06 3 роки тому +108

    Keep (definition): The place people go to wear their fanciest pants and lord it over other people. - Dr. Eleanor Janega

    • @MrJimheeren
      @MrJimheeren 2 роки тому +2

      I read this just as she was saying it. What are the odds

    • @dignan4
      @dignan4 Рік тому +1

      125 minutes, ten-second statement. 6 x 125 (the number of ten-second bits in the pod) = 1 in 750. 1 in 1500 if it’s a five-second statement. Crazy!!

  • @prjndigo
    @prjndigo 3 роки тому +65

    I have no idea why the US Navy A6 cable-car strike wasn't referred to as "The Fail-Hook Scandal"

    • @MrJohndoakes
      @MrJohndoakes 3 роки тому +4

      Because it was a Marine EA-6B and people forget the Marines are just the Navy's soldiers?

    • @grahambuckerfield4640
      @grahambuckerfield4640 3 роки тому +3

      @@MrJohndoakes Not wanting to be a pedant but they also said the wrong country, it was in Italy. Myself, I wanted to know with this staff off jamming aircraft was doing low level flying, unauthorised IIRC.

    • @MrJohndoakes
      @MrJohndoakes 3 роки тому +2

      @@grahambuckerfield4640 Everybody loves to do "flat hatting" if they can get away with it.

    • @annafdd
      @annafdd 3 роки тому +1

      @@grahambuckerfield4640 oh American planes had been doing all the time. Apparently flying below the cable was particularly fun.

    • @TheEnoEtile
      @TheEnoEtile 3 роки тому

      @@MrJohndoakes just a bunch of most boys

  • @iamtoast3397
    @iamtoast3397 3 роки тому +9

    1:44:50 I genuinely heard as "little a star fort, for a retreat" and I think I'm never fully recovering from this level of meme immersion.

  • @alpani6805
    @alpani6805 3 роки тому +29

    Dave Courtney's house is called Camelot Castle, and I'm pretty sure he hasn't got a licence for it

    • @TheEnoEtile
      @TheEnoEtile 3 роки тому +3

      Someone must say it.
      That's 'ighly illeeegal

    • @-voiceoftheturtle
      @-voiceoftheturtle 3 роки тому +4

      It also has a model(?) of a man pointing a shotgun at passersby in the front garden if you look it up on Google maps.

  • @danielkorladis7869
    @danielkorladis7869 3 роки тому +20

    You want to celebrate International Friends Day with him but he disagrees about what day it is.

  • @sithofdarkness8927
    @sithofdarkness8927 3 роки тому +11

    I loved listening to post-production Justin twice. Really eeking out as much content as I can, and this podcast serves.

  • @zaphodlucs
    @zaphodlucs 3 роки тому +9

    A guest named Eleanor in a episode about the middle ages is a touch of genius

  • @CreeperOnYourHouse
    @CreeperOnYourHouse 3 роки тому +25

    "here we go, 58 minutes in"
    *timestamp is about 56 and a half*
    I wonder what we miss out on.

    • @SportyMabamba
      @SportyMabamba 3 роки тому +37

      I’ll take “Credible threats to a named individual” for $500 please Alex

    • @ellieskunkz5044
      @ellieskunkz5044 3 роки тому +6

      @@SportyMabamba This is the correct answer.

    • @daved2352
      @daved2352 3 роки тому +5

      @@SportyMabamba I'm gonna gamble and double down on naming Liam as the culprit.

  • @jamiekamihachi3135
    @jamiekamihachi3135 3 роки тому +36

    I wasn’t feeling this episode until they started talking about theoretical siege of Disneyland and Hogwarts. That made my day.

  • @TheJamesM
    @TheJamesM 3 роки тому +10

    I was pleasantly surprised by the mention of the human pet guy at 1:13:30
    A truly precious mind that must be dissected and studied.

  • @benoitbvg2888
    @benoitbvg2888 3 роки тому +58

    French here and nowhere did I see anyone "celebrating" the accident, although I did see a LOT of people accusing the Italians of sniffing coke on the set of the eurovision because there was some broken glass.

    • @theoneandonlymichaelmccormick
      @theoneandonlymichaelmccormick 3 роки тому +8

      It’s so impressive that you were able to ask every single French person.

    • @zogworth
      @zogworth 3 роки тому +13

      @@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick
      Minitel is very advanced nowadays

    • @WebertHest
      @WebertHest 3 роки тому +13

      These are Twitter people, complaining about other Twitter people. Don't put much stock into their opinions.

    • @theoneandonlymichaelmccormick
      @theoneandonlymichaelmccormick 3 роки тому +12

      @@WebertHest He said in the UA-cam comments section.

    • @jacobgreengas7121
      @jacobgreengas7121 3 роки тому +3

      @The One and Only Michael McCormick that's even worse

  • @caphalor08
    @caphalor08 3 роки тому +19

    For the museum bonus episode... I suggest a look at one of ours. The royal museum for central africa in Tervuren. A very nice cache of rant material.

    • @MarcoMin16
      @MarcoMin16 3 роки тому +8

      Truly the "sorry we are not sorry" of museums

    • @MrJimheeren
      @MrJimheeren 3 роки тому +1

      Oh good one. Who doesn’t like some very bad stuffed Jaguars and human skulls

  • @joearnold6881
    @joearnold6881 3 роки тому +23

    Siege. Engine. Prolapse.
    I demand t-shirts!

  • @pin0teres
    @pin0teres 3 роки тому +11

    28:54 You missed a perfect opportunity to mention siege of Alesia.
    AFAIK the only battle where sieging forces (Romans led by Ceasar) quickly built a fortification surrounding them and the sieged fort (Alesia defended by Vercingetorix) in order to fend off incoming relief army (more Galls).

    • @SportyMabamba
      @SportyMabamba 3 роки тому +4

      Safety Third for that episode: don’t send out your non-combatants between your wall and Caesar’s if you want them to not starve to death.

    • @steemlenn8797
      @steemlenn8797 3 роки тому +3

      There is a famous incident in Japan where a fort was build opposing a castle in (seemingly) a single night. Oda Nobunagaa's Saru (Ape) build it (the later Toyotomi Hideyoshi) en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunomata_Castle

  • @boonekeller5275
    @boonekeller5275 3 роки тому +101

    love that besiege screenshot

    • @N00N01
      @N00N01 3 роки тому +1

      Yes 🤣

  • @acassiopeia6439
    @acassiopeia6439 3 роки тому +14

    So the forthcoming 9 months of LLBD should be referred to as the Liams Led By Donkeys arc

  • @Monothefox
    @Monothefox 3 роки тому +73

    Speaking of Hearst Castle: how about an episode on the Business Plot, the US's first failed fascist coup attempt?

    • @matthewtown1241
      @matthewtown1241 3 роки тому +10

      There's no engineering disaster there. Best they got to talk about is how dope the Hoover Town full of displaced unpaid soldiers was. Shit had its own streets and is a perfect plan for all of the current displaced unpaid soldiers that we care so much about.

    • @johnv5129
      @johnv5129 3 роки тому +3

      “failed”

    • @Monothefox
      @Monothefox 3 роки тому +2

      @@matthewtown1241 One could argue that it was social engineering.

    • @MrJimheeren
      @MrJimheeren 3 роки тому

      There is already a podcast about that coup attempt. Iheart radio made a great episode about it in there series behind the Bastards

  • @DeHeld8
    @DeHeld8 3 роки тому +2

    Ok, Roman history nerd here. The replica shown in the picture at 1:11:00 is a small ballista. Ballistae were use to throw rocks, or sometimes baked clay balls when rocks were unavalable. A similar apparatus that throws bolts (large arrows/small spears) is called a catapulta, sometimes called a scorpio now a days (though they would not have called it that back then). Contrary to the portrayal in films and video games, ballistae were not used to knock down walls. They tended to be used to throw stones into fortifications in order to harass. The catapultae were, if operated correctly, highly accurate machines used for sniping people off walls, or shooting at approaching armies over large distances beyond bowshot.
    Only the largest ballistae ever would be used to knock down buildings (though not proper city walls). There are some sources claiming that Vespasian, an artillery expert, used extremely large ballistae that could throw 60 kilogram rocks during the sieges of Jerusalem and Mesada. Oh and pots full of burning oil like seen in the opening scenes of Gladiator is BS. That stuff would not be able to be done untill the invention of greek fire.

  • @ProLGL
    @ProLGL 3 роки тому +10

    When I tell my friends the only podcast I watch is about engineering disasters, they look at me like I’m crazy. Little do they know they’re missing out

    • @Debilitator47
      @Debilitator47 3 роки тому

      I keep trying to get people into this. 'No no it's about when things go horribly wrong and they make jokes!' I am decidedly 'that friend' in my circle.

    • @Kuhmuhnistische_Partei
      @Kuhmuhnistische_Partei 3 роки тому +2

      I just met a guy who is also into this podcast. And I don't even live in a English-speaking country. You know you found a new friend if he likes the same weird niche podcast.

  • @GarethDennisTV
    @GarethDennisTV 3 роки тому +4

    okay Dr Janega is an absolutely awesome guest
    also I'll get the Quail map up to see where the Hogsmeade branch links in, that puppy is getting a hostile takeover

  • @BobbinMcferry
    @BobbinMcferry 3 роки тому +16

    YES! time for my favorite slideshow with Ross, Janice and.... I wanna say Nathan....?

  • @TheAntonicKnight
    @TheAntonicKnight 3 роки тому +6

    The cannon at 1:36:00 is actually the Tsar Cannon. It's living proof that the Russians had crackhead ballistic ideas even in the 16th century. The French almost took it as a war trophy when they entered Moscow in 1812, but decided it wasn't worth the hassle. I can't imagine how many more of Napoleon's men would have froze to death if they actually did lug it with them.

    • @isaactrockman4417
      @isaactrockman4417 Рік тому +3

      It would be hilarious if they tried to take it with them and it ended up abandoned in Ukraine or Poland somewhere

  • @CykoruKun
    @CykoruKun 3 роки тому +57

    Fifteenth. Also yay over 2h, don't listen to haters we want length

    • @Houseckat
      @Houseckat 3 роки тому +24

      But what about girth?

    • @peterpanda5069
      @peterpanda5069 3 роки тому +18

      Girth is also acceptable. Won’t say no to a wide boy.

    • @adamwhite2364
      @adamwhite2364 3 роки тому +6

      @@Houseckat both would be preferable.

  • @DieNibelungenliad
    @DieNibelungenliad 3 роки тому +7

    When you live in a castle that no one can bust in and demand rent from the peasants but there's a famine so they chase the Sheriff into your castle and block your door with rocks so you starve while they harvest the crops outside.

  • @alaeriia01
    @alaeriia01 2 роки тому +9

    Wait, hang on. Wouldn't it be more efficient to use the secret passage from the sweet shop to sneak into Hogwarts?

  • @ToaArcan
    @ToaArcan Рік тому +1

    During his campaigns in Scotland, Edward I of England built an enormous trebuchet called the War Wolf. It was possibly the largest ever constructed, and powerful enough to bring down an entire castle wall with a single launch. It filled 30 wagons disassembled and took five carpenters and 49 labourers three months to build.
    Constructed during the siege of Stirling Castle, the defenders attempted to surrender before it was even complete, fearing that it would be able to destroy the entire castle. Edward refused the surrender and fired the War Wolf anyway.

  • @josephmmuller
    @josephmmuller 3 роки тому +14

    20:50 If it's made of cubes and cylinders, would that make it a *primitive* castle?

  • @ArninoStorm
    @ArninoStorm 3 роки тому +9

    In Eu4 you can get Malta for free when playing as a Crusader Kingdom but being allied with Aragon.

  • @kavallier3065
    @kavallier3065 3 роки тому +5

    Oh noo I rode that cable car once. one week before the first breakout of covid in northern Italy.
    Its fun to know that any holiday can go south quickly without warning.

    • @trevorcorey7910
      @trevorcorey7910 3 роки тому

      Avoid this by never taking a vacation or dying in a local disaster

  • @mrfacerock8806
    @mrfacerock8806 3 роки тому +6

    There should be an episode on the Roman's inability to maintain basic infrastructure because they were constantly coup-ing each other.

    • @coreygolpheneee
      @coreygolpheneee 11 місяців тому

      What I know about Rome and podcasting is that what you think can be covered in 3 hours takes 15 if you do the research

  • @joearnold6881
    @joearnold6881 3 роки тому +6

    Oh god I was such a dorky kid.
    When they said in fantasy no castles figured out anti-dragon fortifications,
    my childhood memory was like,
    “Well, ackshully, in the Dragonlance novels they had specific anti-dragon portcullises and murder holes for stabbing with the eponymous lances”
    God, those books actually sucked so bad. So much Mormon authorship seeped in.

    • @Debilitator47
      @Debilitator47 3 роки тому +3

      I recently tried to re-read one of them and learned how much my taste in fiction has changed. As in, I have taste, and Dragonlance is bad, m'kay.

    • @joearnold6881
      @joearnold6881 3 роки тому +1

      @@Debilitator47 lol exactly. I tried some years back when I found... i think the fourth book(?) among my childhood junk.
      I was both cringing and bored within pages. I still like good fantasy and sci-if.
      That ain’t it. It’s utter trash.

    • @edgrimm5862
      @edgrimm5862 2 роки тому

      Fortunately, I knew nothing of Mormonism when I read that stuff as a kid, and when I got a chance to reread it as an adult, I didn't get through the first chapter of the first book before I realized it was really not as good as I remembered it.

  • @jenjaynes8863
    @jenjaynes8863 3 роки тому +6

    I'm down w taking down that fake Cinderella castle. I literally cried at age 7 bc we finally got to go to a castle and it was FAKE and HOLLOW!

  • @JohnJohnson-jr6hp
    @JohnJohnson-jr6hp 3 роки тому +13

    Good stuff to listen to while playing a game of Crusader Kings III

  • @AetherialPhage
    @AetherialPhage 3 роки тому +8

    Lake Town in The Hobbit had anti-dragon defenses.

  • @CatalanPhrase
    @CatalanPhrase 3 роки тому +14

    Cable car fun fact: the one at six flags is older than the park itself.
    Although it's a gondola, not a true cable car.

    • @Ingestedbanjo
      @Ingestedbanjo 3 роки тому +2

      What's the difference? I thought "gondola" was just the term for the cars of cable cars. Are cable cars the ones where 2 big cars go back and forth on a counterweight system, whereas gondolas are like enclosed chairlifts - many smaller cars that all go round on a conveyor belt?

    • @CatalanPhrase
      @CatalanPhrase 3 роки тому +2

      @@Ingestedbanjo from my understanding, cable cars roll on cables while being pulled by another cable. A gondola stays stationary on the cable, which moves in a loop.

    • @CatalanPhrase
      @CatalanPhrase 3 роки тому +1

      With the skyway, the car drops onto the cable leaving the station and the weight of the car clamps it onto the cable. The cable is a loop, driven by electric motor at one end, and has counterweights in the tower at the other end.

    • @Ingestedbanjo
      @Ingestedbanjo 3 роки тому +1

      @@CatalanPhrase Ahh ok so like the enclosed chairlift kinda thing. I called both of them cable cars before, glad to know there's a way to distinguish them more easily. Though I'm sure I've heard of the 'cars' in either type being referred to as gondolas, as a generic term.

    • @alaeriia01
      @alaeriia01 2 роки тому

      Which Six Flags?

  • @zogworth
    @zogworth 3 роки тому +9

    Kind of want to go on a wall spotting holiday now.
    Yay Liam.

  • @Eisenhorn6629
    @Eisenhorn6629 Рік тому +1

    Stumbled onto this today, I love the format and dynamic you all have together! Big props to Brother Stephen 💙

  • @adder3597
    @adder3597 3 роки тому +27

    Something something Tacoma Narrows bridge was still standing.
    This should be fun anyway, especially with Besiege to demonstrate Medieval Technicals 😂😂

  • @rubenthiel1214
    @rubenthiel1214 3 роки тому +6

    I like how we get the correction for kinetic energy twice

  • @lostwizard
    @lostwizard 3 роки тому +34

    At 35:03, I imagined that I heard Shad in the background shouting "Machicolations!"

    • @SledgeOfHouseHammer
      @SledgeOfHouseHammer 3 роки тому +2

      Is that a machicolation? Aren't they usually between the corbels? There's no space behind it so I don't think that is.
      Also -> ua-cam.com/video/_-VEgf57Ie8/v-deo.html

    • @JayKayDanks
      @JayKayDanks 3 роки тому +3

      Yeah but screw that guy, he's a fascist

    • @Ezekiel_Allium
      @Ezekiel_Allium 3 роки тому +3

      @@JayKayDanks I dont blame people for not knowing, his politics are kept fairly covert if you stick purely to his historical stuff

    • @jeffreymilliman2306
      @jeffreymilliman2306 3 роки тому +3

      You mean screaming "Machicolations!" and then launching into an unhinged MRA rant?

    • @lostwizard
      @lostwizard 3 роки тому

      @@jeffreymilliman2306 He's pretty much turned the "Machicolations!" shout into a meme now.

  • @waxfigurefamous9189
    @waxfigurefamous9189 3 роки тому +2

    The phrase "Aww I stole the True Cross!" lives rent-free in my head now

  • @videolich
    @videolich 3 роки тому +48

    whenever I see a castle with a moat I can't help but think about the plague of mosquitos that the residents have decided to include in their lives
    love to stand guard at the standing water factory
    edit: not two minutes after commenting the lil bastards are mentioned lol

    • @DieNibelungenliad
      @DieNibelungenliad 3 роки тому +11

      Worse yet, the garderobe (which was both the room that had a toilet and where somethings were kept in store) was often jutting out of the tower so that human waste could fall into the moat. They ofcourse also emptied their chamber pot out of the tower window or from the rooftop into the moat.

    • @PobortzaPl
      @PobortzaPl 3 роки тому +7

      @@DieNibelungenliad ...And that's why drinks, hot and cold, that I found not to my taste get to be named "moat water".

  • @speshulgurlee
    @speshulgurlee 3 роки тому +3

    1:50:07 Nazis are not acceptable collateral damage for one big reason:
    The label of "collateral" implies they're not your primary target, which they always should be.

  • @Yora21
    @Yora21 3 роки тому +8

    Trebuchet memes are of course a thing.
    And they are oddly specific about 90 kg projectiles and 300 m distance.

  • @TrinityShoji
    @TrinityShoji 2 роки тому +2

    2:00:46
    I have major vocal dysphoria myself. That comment really made me feel better about my clearly masculine voice.
    Thank you,

  • @Somefox
    @Somefox 3 роки тому +2

    I love this guest, Dr. Janega really keeps up with you guys! Great episode!

  • @rocketsocks
    @rocketsocks 3 роки тому +7

    License to Crenellate is my favorite album.

  • @mitlaufer4798
    @mitlaufer4798 3 роки тому +24

    "Funiculars are perfectly fine", boy do I have a story for you

    • @NixKanal528
      @NixKanal528 3 роки тому +5

      Kaprun?

    • @ganginfr4923
      @ganginfr4923 3 роки тому +2

      I like how Angel's Flight has killed numerous people and we just keep it anyway

    • @mitlaufer4798
      @mitlaufer4798 3 роки тому

      @@NixKanal528 yep

    • @WaterMan416
      @WaterMan416 3 роки тому +2

      Kaprun would actually make for a good episode, and there's a ton of info from the investigation to more than fill an episode.

  • @Phoenix8492
    @Phoenix8492 2 роки тому +1

    Had to drop what I was doing when the mention of Native Americans doing siege warfare came up to share this story.
    We in the lovey state of Illinois have Starved Rock State Park. Starved Rock got its name because in 1769 Chief Pontiac was killed by a Peoria-Illini warrior, and as an act of revenge the Ottawa and Potawatomi ambushed a number of Illini and chased them up a big rock. They surrounded the rock and killed any Illini that tried to escape, then waited for the Illini hiding on the rock to starve to death. Starved Rock is exactly the sort of thing that came to mind at the mention of Native Americans doing siege warfare.
    And having heard about “License to Crenelate” the term “Crenelation Under Consent of the King” burst forth from my lips and had to be added here.

  • @rubenthiel1214
    @rubenthiel1214 2 роки тому +3

    Listening to this again after 9 months and realising that I now know who "that terrible human pet man" is has caused me a moderate amount of psychic damage

  • @rileynibhroin6395
    @rileynibhroin6395 3 роки тому +8

    As someone who recently finished a project about Medieval Archaeology I had to keep checking is spelt throughout the whole thing

    • @RigelOrionBeta
      @RigelOrionBeta 3 роки тому

      I before E except after C*
      * = Sometimes