Pinocchio a True Story - Cosmonaut Picture Show
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- Опубліковано 17 кві 2022
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New end card designed by @keychaine: www.keishenlloyd.com/ - Фільми й анімація
This feels like a direct-to-DVD movie that would come out in 2006 when everyone was trying to be the next Toy Story, but for some reason came out in 2022, and we should all be ashamed because of it.
to be fair it was made in russia and that matches with how delayed they are in the movie industry
@@TheJacquelinia This movie’s budget was that of Rubles
Kind of like with Morbius and being an early 2000's superhero movie made in 2022
@@edwardsindustries-20yearsa54 Morbius is the greatest movie of all time
@@odsttrooper3724 morbius is timeless, and by that i mean at no time should anyone watch it
“But the real clown here is YOU Pinnochio” is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard in my 20 years of life
What about Gepetto's sick burn: 'What should we name you, Leonardo? No, because then you would just turn into a turtle that loves pizza.'
*pinocchio
I' am a clown tiibolt
even funnier than that time a guy turn himself into a pickle?
You must have a pretty unfunny life /J.
They left out an amazing part near the beginning, where since Pinocchio left Geppedophile to join the circus, he asks the horse to be his new dad. My friend and I thought he was joking, but then Pinocchio refers to the horse as father or daddy for a good portion of the movie
and when he demands the horse become his daddy, the horse literally says: 'But Pinocchio, I can't be your 'daddy' because I'm a horse!' no shit
@@draum8103 or the part when the long last policeman dad is looking for his handkerchief and Pinocchio says 'Here, you left it in my mouth' with the inflection of a gimp who just had a great time
@@Dragoniron97 Gepetto and the horse scowling disapprovingly: 'Um...why were you putting things in our son's mouth last night officer? We are his daddies, only we are allowed to put things in his mouth.'
"Geppedophile" oh my God! 🤣
that's 'cause everyone already knows about that. it's a classic, definitely legit plotpoint that makes perfect sense in the original Pinocchio (1883) so no need, really
There is a single frame at 13:37 where the character models for Pinocchio and the horse are just …. missing…. Before popping into the rendered background. Absolute masterclass filmmaking
It's actually 7 frames.
Of course it’s at 1337 in this video.
Holy crap I thought I was imagining it
I knew I wasn’t the only one that caught that.
Fuck my life. I thought i just imagined that until i saw your comment
I appreciate the fact that the internet as a whole agreed on calling him “fruity Pinocchio”.
I call it Morning Wood
“DaD wHeN cAn I lEaVe To Be On My OwN i’vE gOt tHe WhOlE wOrLd To SeE” -💅
@@justsomeguywholovesberserk6375 *Worldussy
Never heard of that
@@Dehalove wow! ur so different! 😍
Morbius is gonna have a run for its money in the best picture category
Yes they both are the movies ever
@@justsomeguywholovesberserk6375 Morbius is definitely one of the movies that have ever been made
Finally animation is getting recognized by the academy
This movie puts Citizen Kane to shame. Truly a masterclass in filmmaking.
*PINOCCHIO SWEEP*
"I'm alive. I'm a boy and I'm alive," Pinocchio softly stated
Honestly, he almost sounds like he's drunk.
I really couldn't explain the Dialog otherwise.
I like how it's nothing but "Italian" people and then the circus was just attended by the most British man in existence
This is a true story. The events depicted in this film took place in San Miniato Basso in 2022. At the request of the survivors the names have been changed. Out of respect for the dead the rest has been told exactly as it occurred.
Made me burst out laughing on the toilet, thanks.
Nice Fargo reference.
HELLO!!! I want to spend time with celebrities. Just kidding. GAGAGAGAGA! I only want to spend time with my two girlfriends and record videos for UA-cam with the 3 of us. OH YEAH. Don't hate me for living the best life, dear rick
“The film you are about to see is an account of the tragedy that befell a group of five youths, in particular Sally Hardesty and her invalid brother, Franklin.”
@@redtexan7053 Once you stop screaming, you’ll start talking about it.
Fun fact: not only did Tom Kenny voice Geppetto in this movie, he also voiced one of the racist robot twins in the second Transformers
LFG
He was also Wheelie in that same Transformers movie.
Wow, that's more upsetting than watching the racist robots.
They weren’t racist they were based
@@gotrejo nothing about the Hispanic gangster stereotype robots was """"based""""
They are only racist and cringe.
I was terrified that this was Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio that people have been talking about for like 5 years. Thankfully it isn't
Me to 🤣🤣
Holy shit I wish it were. Imagine the reaction if Del Toro released this to the world
“Made of wood or are you just happy to see me?”
Had me rolling
The story I've heard behind Pauly Shore being Pinocchio is apparently the people who made the movie insisted that he play the part. Apparently Pauly actually refused a few times and made sure they confirmed that they knew who he was and that they were certain they wanted him for the role. Even he knew he was the wrong choice, but here we are
That's actually amazing if true.
Damn. Really?
"If we are gonna be stuck with localizing this bargain bin tier movie that nobody will watch, we might as well have fun doing it".
@@andrewblack2596 yeah, and I'm pretty sure it's legit. I know that Pauly shores reaction to being requested for the role was something like "are you serious? Do they know who I am? Are they sure they have the right person?"
@@Connorthecatsdad who's Pauly Shore? I've never heard of the guy
I don’t think we can see this as a movie. I see it as a cinematic event.
Cinematic shitpost
It’s like a theme park ride, located in a construction site
Much like a tornado can be seen as just "weather."
yes
I genuinely misread that as “traumatic event” and yet I think that’s more accurate so I’m going to stick with it
10:08 Can we appreciate how pitch perfect Dan's impression was?
Maybe Dan’s Pauly Shore in disguise
Truly, the most voice acted movie of all time
I'm an interpreter and it really does look like they were trying to translate the movie from russian word by word which you do not do ever! You hear a sentence, you understand the essence of what's being said and you translate it in a way that would make sense in the other language. I speak russian a little and I've seen a clip of the original and it sounded fine and Pinocchio had a voice of a teenage boy, not a voice of a 50 year old gay man who's trying to feminize his voice.
I was looking for this comment)) и русский это прекрасный язык, продолжайте учить, если можете :)
It is localization versus translation. Most of the time, translating something word for word isn't going to properly convey meaning in another language (unless the sentences are very simplistic). Localization does precisely what you've described (and what this movie should have done) where the proper essence of a message is translated instead of just word by word.
Clearly they weren't going for any kind of clarity in this film, which makes it all the better for us.
Pauly Shore isn't trying to feminize his voice he just talks like that
"a 50 year old gay man who's trying to feminize his voice"
Pauly Shore just sounds like that.
"It's like uncanny valley for every sense a human has."
I genuinely feel it in my nose somehow.
This killed me
You're lying, aren't you?!
every time dan says a banger like "you could've practiced that line a little bit more" but marcus doesn't respond it kills me a little inside
Cutie alert
@@ChangedMyNameFinally69 left on delivered guy
@@cappingbeara3212 It doesn't bother me too much. I just love complimenting attractive women
@@ChangedMyNameFinally69 yikes
@@ChangedMyNameFinally69 I don’t think they love it.
I died laughing at the "it's just me" when he walks into the trailer... I had to pause and laugh my arse off, of all the places to break that is where I was broken 😂
I tried to figure out which parts of this movie specifically were a true story and I decided that the cat with a gun wearing knickerbockers is the most likely candidate for being real.
What do you mean? this movie is a documentary
I dunno, the asshole horse resonates.
@@LuisSierra42 iiiiiiiiiiiii
This is all just a nature documentary all along
I don’t know if I want Pauly Shore to get more or less roles because of this movie
Pauly Shore Pinnochio will be as remembered as Tommy Wiseau it’s a performance so bad it’s good
the thing is, pauly shore can be properly directed but he can't rlly...act. He basically just plays himself every time. So if u cast him, it better be for a character who's just like him, comic relief and/or doesn't have much screentime. For this movie, he was not only badly directed (like everyone else) but badly cast as a main character ur supposed to take srsly and connect with
I think he would be amazing as Tommy Wiseau
More! More! MOAAAAAR!!!
Give him more roles, but don't let any of them be serious.
16:07 “and hides behind the coat” randomly gets stuck in my head from time to time. Just the way he says it idk
without even thinking I went: “and hides behind the sheet” like this movie is already a dumpster fire, no one’s gonna ask what sheet or what that means 😭
"You made of wood...? Or you just happy to see me?" might be the funniest sentence I've ever heard.
Amazing that Pauly Shore as Pinocchio is more unbelievable than a talking horse.
DONKE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP?!
Pinocchio was dumb as hell in this movie, but the horse was almost more annoying.
This is just the start of the Pinocchio cinematic universe
"This is like The Departed" - a sentence I never thought I'd hear anyone use to describe the fruity Pinocchio movie
Pinocchio was acting like he was on cocaine/speed the entire movie leaping around 100 feet in the air and doing backflips all over the place like that lol
fun fact: I used to work for one of the producers of this. I’ve even written some notes on Pinocchio (press release and stuff) but haven’t seen the movie tho. also I subscribed to this channel like two weeks ago and now I’m seeing this
(but the producer is really great btw, his name is Roman Borisevich, you should check his other feature films, like How I Ended This Summer, or Tale in the Darkness. he’s also working on a sci-fi film with Alexander Kuznetsov who is now starring in new Fantastic Beasts, another Marcus’s favourite movie)
woah I've been a fan of Aleksandr kuznetzov since seeing him in a russian film, summer, ages ago and it's so weird to see his name more and more! Just said to someone earlier how weird it is that he's suddenly in a massive film and here he is mentioned here too. Looking forward to seeing him do sci fi
I'd have believed you if you worked for a producer who worked for another producer, who was the kidnapped son of one of the producers of this movie.
It legitimately looks and sounds like a real-time fandub
_"Father when can i leave to be on my own i've got the whole world to see."_
That one line that made Carlo Collodi rolling in his grave.
Collodi would axe everyone involved in this trainwreck
I got the whole worldussy
Worldussy
Worldussy 😭😭😭
Worldussy
You need the will of the gods to make it through this movie. Mad respect to you Marcus. For doing something no normal man can do.
His Nose doesn’t even grow btw
Tf you talking about this films a masterpiece
@@justsomeguywholovesberserk6375 I feel ripped off and lied to and I want my money back.
@@sindelretconpolice1630 Same, I say it and it was a 10/10 -7/10
I can't even watch the video having to hear the shitty acting. Man I'm rooting for everyone to make it.
Laughed at him saying the video was going to be corrupted only to have it be copyrighted for weeks 🤣
*casually yet aggressively swings the door open* "It's just me"
I don't think I've ever died laughing at something simple like this in my life, but goddamn did I need it LOL. Gonna quote this and say it exactly like this everytime I visit someone now
Fruity Pinnochio: “She is the most beautiful thing in the World”
His Nose: Press X to doubt
Out of all the movies made Pinocchio a true story is definitely one of them 🔥
One of what?
@@johnstrife7 That is the joke.
@@johnstrife7 yes
'Pinocchio: A True Story' based on something completely false and made up.
@@johnstrife7 this is one of the movies, ever made.
I'm not ready for a world where clowns are information brokers.
I feel incredibly sorry to inform you....
You know it’s bad when the characters mouth isn’t moving, but the voice actor is going “dee-skidee-skidee-skidee”
To explain why the lying=nose grows thing doesn't happen, that's because this is based on the soviet version of Pinocchio called Burotino where the evil guy is basically a greedy human trafficker and he has a cat and fox as henchmen. There was actually a really good soviet movie based on it lol but yeah no nose growing happens there. He just gets enslaved in a circus instead
And the original “Buratino” novel was written by a distant relative of Leo Tolstoy, of all people.
We live in a world where a company bothered to copyright this terrible film from marcus, that's so embarrassing
Honestly who would even wanna own this film
I'm sure the internet outrage has boosted it's sales. People love to hate it.
That’s because the internet deserves this masterpiece.
is also stupid, this movie is not gonna get any other kind of exposure, either they are embarassed of what they made, or they have no idea how the world works... which would make sense if they thought that pauly shore is a name that would sell in 2022
@@justsomeguywholovesberserk6375 Lionsgate, because fuck you that's why. The fact that multiple people made this, agreed to this and famous actors agreed to be in this is deeply depressing
the fact that the sorceress kept saying “my/our good friend” implies that the writers didn’t think they could make clear they were friends
that was one of the first signs they didn’t know how to write
"Are we gonna watch something better?"
"Maybe."
This is a key sign that you make a run for it.
Back in the 90's I had a VHS tape called "The REAL Story of Humpty Dumpty" which was just some cheap straight to video 20 minute American cartoon, but I actually thought it was THE real story that no one knew. I was so excited to tell other people that he got knocked off by a witch on a broom. Unfortunately, Humpty Dumpty didn't come up much in conversation to allow me to share that knowledge, so I just had to force it a few times.
I don't think anyone cared.
I cared
@@jorgesanchis5534 I do too.
Tybalt is my favorite character in this. He just seems so done with everything.
Fruity P: Tybalt those people are about to go off that cliff😱
Tybalt: What’s that got to do with me?🤨
Where's the Fruity P vs. Tybalt rap battle we deserve
Tybalt: 'So...one clown said something and another clown said something...but the real clown here is *YOU* Pinocchio, because you believed them.' BURN.
13:35 the way Pinocchio and Tybalt just POP in! 😂
16:13 the muscle man to the left looks like the neighbor from hello neighbor. Even the animation is reminding me of him.
Glad to see Dan's consistent evolution into Robert Pattinson Batman.
I think he looks way more like the actor Aaron Taylor-Johnson than Rob Pattinson to me
No. You mean Robat Batanbat.
if he shaved the top of his head he'd be Richard O'Brien
@Eric Pfeifer
Mr Sunday Movies?
Also, Robert Battinson
Marcus is right, an old man making a life sized child doll is sus. Gepetto more like Gepedo
💀💀
is either sus, or really, REALLY fucking sad
@@murciadoxial8056 let's just say he's close friends with the guy who built astroboy
@@Mantis42 didn't that guy lost his biological son?
@@murciadoxial8056 yea the courts took him away
Marcus' laugh is so contagious, it brings me great joy
"We're adding fairies now?"
Wait... was there NOT a fairy in the beginning? So how the hell did Pinocchio come to life then? It just... sorta happened, randomly? Because in the original story he was brought to life by a blue fairy. I'll never forget this fact, because the movie A.I. wouldn't shut the hell up about it.
honestly I thought the blue hair girl was gonna bring him to humanity, since its the BLUE fairy (i think shes just a blue witch in the earlier versions? same diff), but then it was just the weird accent red dress lady and ahe sounds like she faked it lmaoo
also i too have the "blue fairy" from ai burned into my mind. they really super focused on her in that film lol
Truly the cinematic masterpiece of our lifetime
Unlike Morbius
The quality of the animation and voice acting in this movie gives background characters in RWBY a run for their money.
Lmao
Rwby season 1 background actors
Makes 2016 berserk look like a fine piece of art 😂
Was NOT expecting a RWBY reference on this channel lmao
You should see the later seasons... It's worse. But don't mention it on it twitter. The writer's will chew you out.
11:45 “You are not a clown, Pinocchio. You are the entire circus.”
The absolute pure joy on Marcus's face at Fruity Pinocchio's first voice lines really got me
13:36 holy shit the characters just pop-in like a texture in a video game
cosmanaut picture shows are the best thing on this channel ive watched almost all of these like 3-4 times each, the tall girl, twilight hocus pocus. i must have watched like 10 times each you guys are so fucking funny
The dating around episodes get me every time.
I watched the Twilight videos like 10 times a week
Exactly liken I've watched watch each of these videos so much
At 13:36 there’s a split frame where Pinocchio and his horse appear out of thin air, this movie is a masterpiece
This feels like one of those movies cartoon network would play around the late 2000s on Friday nights as a "special event".
I think Marky actually sacrificed someone to get this released but it’s finally out, so happy to see it :)
as long is someone i can understand, but better he didn’t sacrifice or trade TROS review for this even tho both are equally in quality
14:49 Pinocchio sits in a wooden jail cell, is the cell made of flesh, or is he made of wood, he does not scream, as he knows
LMAO at 17:15 when the circus is on fire and Pinocchio falls to his death, why is it so enjoyable
The horse is voiced by Jon Heder, so if you just imagine Pauly Shores character from Encino Man going on an adventure with Napoleon Dynamite it makes the movie slightly better.
Jon Heder's career is quite... sad. From Napoleon Dynamite to Blades of Glory to... this.
Usually picture shows make any bad movie fun to watch, but this is still painful
Congratulations on getting the video up marcus
"you may wonder why I summoned you here"
"We played pokemon"
"Yes...we played pokemon, but also"
Hahahaha omg I died
"Pauly Shore's voice coming out of a teen wooden twink body" omg
"Oh, man I thought that was going to be more comedic."
"You better stop hoping that."
I want an Elden Ring mod that changes one of the horse-mount enemies to Pinocchio on the back of John Hedder horse. The greatest fight of all time.
Pauly Shore's voice acting in this has saved 2022 for us all🤩
I come back to this video every now and then just to feel something again
I'm absolutely convinced that they knew exactly what they were doing. It was so consistently insane.
Cosmonaught's laughter is fueling this video. God bless.
This genuinely feels like the room of animation and I kinda love that.
5:44
Two sausages laying in a frying pan. one rolls over and says, man its hot in here.
the other jumps up and yells, OMG A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!
Marcus' squealing laugh is pretty hilarious as well
It's never a real Cosmonaut review without his cat
“This is like the Departed.” Is a great out of context quote to help convince suckers to watch this.
There is nothing creepy about a lonely old man living in the middle of nowhere, making a real life boy with his old hard wood.
Yeah, then Gepetto is like 'NO pinnocchio, you can't leave'. 'But I want to DADDY?' 'Oh ok then, goodbye' then he runs off on the horse despite having zero knowledge and being alive for like 2 days. wtf.
It was so hard to believe you guys weren't doing fake voice overs yourselves half the time. It was SO SO out of place with what was on screen. This was amazing, thanks for sharing.
This is def one of the top 2000 Pinocchio films. Truly a ground breaking achievement
Marcus' hysterical laugh is the best part of this video
Replayed the laugh he does after the 'or are you just happy to see me' at 6:12 like five times, so good
casting paulie shore in this is the most baffling creative decision i've ever seen. i can't stop thinking about it
13:25
“This movie would be better without the horse”
That’s why the original movie didn’t feature a fucking horse
11:18 "On of the clowns was told by other clown" is just discussion on internet.
He did it. He beat the UA-cam final boss and finally gained the right to post this. Bless up Marcus
I love when Pinocchio is stumbling around at the beginning, and Marcus is just staring at him in joyful wonder.
The dub alone is already insanely funny and feels like a parody but it not even synching with the mouths just makes this comedy gold lmao
Nobody Is talking 'bout The CLOWN LINE... Just this Channel... U R THAT GOOD, COSMO
Probably the best movie adaptation of such a beloved tale
I feel stronger yet emptier for having seen this full movie, so I guess you two get to share that too
“And look at that. They’re all arrested” is the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever heard
The voice acting in this very consistently reminds me of the English voice acting in Stalker: Call of Pripyat, it's uncannily similar in, uh... "quality," it's fucking amazing
That weird "skidoo skidoo skidoo" blew my brain to pieces like a shotgun.
This is some 90s video game quality voice acting. If I didn't know the cast list, I'd think this movie had three voice actors and no voice director. That last one is probably true.
hey Marcus, loving the amount of time and effort you put in and just know you can upload as often or as seldom and you want and I'll keep coming back :)
Props to Marcus for getting this out for our enjoyment despite the legal nightmare he had to go through!
Pauly Shore really knows how to knock it out of the park.
Marcus’s laugh is so pure, it’s adorable 😂
tricking dan into watching this is a war crime
So glad you did this video. I laughed the whole time. Congrats on the new location and really glad to see this channel grow
Wow, I can't believe this is a true story. Really goes to show anything is possible!
I want to point out that Geppetto looks like Leonardo Da Vinci. I remember the good old days reading history when Leonardo was the one that created a puppet named Pinocchio. that "definitely happened" back then.
Also i know Leonardo was from Italy and that the original Pinocchio story and it's creator was also from Italy, but why did they have to make Geppetto look like the artist?
Robert Eggers wishes he could make something this artsy
The fact the voice actor of this Pinnochio is the same guy who said: "Leaning Tower of Cheeza" in Goofy Movie is suprising.