Kimberly, I do feel I need to stand with you in feeling at the same time not accomplished and excited about a new beginning. I'm probably closer to your mother's age than to yours. When I was 34, I became very, very ill and my immune system never recovered. I had completed a master's degree and was getting ready to begin a doctoral program. Instead, I began decades of going to doctors to see if anything could be done to help me gain more functionality. About 15 years ago I made peace with how I am and who I am now. I began to be able to mourn the loss of the dreams and goals that I had to release; to slowly shed the markers of accomplishment that do not apply to me in my reality; to identify and embrace the joy and peace in whatever each day brings. When people do not have a chronic illness or injury, it is easy and expected to plan ahead for the future. When we live with chronic illness and injury, our planning and future look very, very different. On a very challenging day, my planning might look like "Today I will brush my teeth.". We live in a different reality with different sets of challenges than healthy people do. It took me many years of therapy, prayers, tears and sorrow to find peace with where I am now and to find ways to live a "juicy" life where I am now and not put off things until I'm "better". If I start something I can't finish, so what? I enjoyed it while I was able to do it, and I might be able to do it again sometime or I learned that it's not an option for me right now. I'm sorry this is so long, but I think many people with chronic challenges watch your channel and want all of us to know our lives are just as good, just as meaningful, just as worth living as they were before we became ill or injured. 💞
thank you so much for this Holly! I really resonate with it, I have often felt hopeless and very depressed about having my life disrupted by schizophrenia in the way that I did. and as you say you really have to mourn the loss of those dreams and goals you had set for yourself... again thank you for sharing and for your continued support. it means a lot! ❤🩹
This is such a great overall description of what chronic illness is. It is a heavy weight to carry and it’s easy to let the thoughts of comparison and despair to ruin you. By just existing and making the best out of it, we are winning. Lots of love
These are such beautiful comments and replies. I struggle with bipolar 1 . I always felt guilty of not becoming a nurse and just being a nursing assistant. I came to peace with my reality three years ago that I loved when I helped others, but I cannot further my education. I then accepted my new life with a beautiful family, one friend, and most of all I found Peace. Thanks for listening. Have A Beautiful Day ❤
@@Riley_sd I am so thankful that you have found peace in the life you have, in the person that you are. My dream for you is that your peace grows deep, abiding roots. Roots so deep and strong that no storm can take it away.
You are more accomplished than most of the people in this world You are a warrior against this terrible disease I wish You the best with your New age.Lots of hugs to you from İstanbul!❤❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
I would LOVE to see train rides to anywhere in Sweden, looking at a museum, having fika (spelling?) !!!! That would be so relaxing and pleasant for me to see small cities or towns, scenery, unknown art, small cafes, etc. If you did a little recap at the end talking about the art or the cake or the town that would be 😻!
sounds exactly how I want to do that vlog! 😍 I would love to show some Swedish artist and cities so you being happy to see it is encouraging! 💚 thank you Holly! 🥰
@@Kimberly_Viktoria There is a lady on youtube who for a time had sponsors donating money for her travel vlogs. Until covid hit. I'll bet you could get Patreon sponsors for train tours. People want to know what to expect when they travel to Sweden.
@@engleharddinglefester4285 I don't think I have enough subscribers to sponsor such a feat. Or enough interest? 🤔 Plus I have my cats to take care of. 🥰
Hi Kimberly! I so loved the music again, and you look beautiful! I too feel like I havent accomplished much that I wanted to in my life. But I keep trying. My OA (osteo arthytis) keeps me in pain and not being able to do things as I would like to. I'm looking forward to your adventure to the other city! I forget the name already. DUH Gothamburg? LOL I see you continually pushing through all your struggles! You are a big inspiration for me. Love ya! 🤗😍❤💜💛
Thank you Mary Ann! 🥹 its Gothenburg or Göteborg in Swedish, i'm very excited for it. 😊 I hope you're doing good despite the pain, can't imagine being in that kind of pain... sending you a hug from Sweden like always too! 🤗💚
Sjukt kul att saker och ting rör på sig för dig! Jag har börjat på ett Hemköp nyligen. Fyra timmar per dag i tre dagar per vecka till att börja med, och det känns väldigt bra och att man gör något med sitt liv, även om man på helgen är rätt slut efter det :) Håller tummarna på att du kommer in på skolan och tror att du kommer göra det bra ifrån dig!
I’m so excited for you! It’s funny how the backup plans are sometimes the best things that could happen to us. I recently turned 30, and I relate to feeling “behind” and feeling sadness about everything I wanted to accomplish but couldn’t. My illnesses have taken a lot from me. But one thing they gave me was the knowledge that I am extremely strong to be able to get through all the pain I’ve experienced. The pain didn’t make me strong. I made myself strong. And that proves to me that I am strong enough to walk my own path and accomplish things at my own pace. I recently quit my job that was a terrible fit and harmed my health, and I’m going to start classes too, to learn a new skill and hopefully find better suited jobs. It’s scary but exciting! Do you know Louise Stigell’s channel? She recently started a podcast too. She had an “non-traditional” path to becoming an artist. She has very gentle vibes.
thank you! I wish you the best and good luck with the classes you're starting, hopefully they'll lead to something better perhaps. I just looked her channel up and im definitely watching some of her content, so thank you again! 🥹💚
Enjoy your course and fingers crossed for you with the art course. I’m also studying late in life but at least I haven’t wasted my student loan studying something I wasn’t passionate about when I was younger.
I always watch your vids, but I am a bit late for this one. In the past weeks it turned out that I am on the autism spectrum. And it seems like a whole lot of my problems stem from that. So it is a new beginning for me. Trying to find myself again. I wish you the same! ❤
thank you for watching Agnes! I wish you well on this new beginning, must be a relief to know what's going on at least it was relief for me when getting a diagnosis. 💚 have a great week! 🥰
We're sending positive energy to you in accomplishing the goals that you have set for your future. We Adore your art work, and are excited to see more pieces of it. Have fun with your Sister.💕☀️✌️
Hi Kimberly, just dropping by to wish you a Happy Birthday". Sorry it's a bit late. Hope you had a good day and that cake looked mightily fine. 🙂 I'm looking forward to your next upload. Hope your trip goes well and you manage to get everything done that you hope to. 🙂
I like you and think you are a nice person. I hope things work out with school and I like your attitude and the fact you have a back up plan if it doesn’t work out. Keep making progress.
I’ve always wanted to visit Gothenburg so I’ll love your vlog if you decide to film! Well done on the art history course, I recently started a history degree! Happy birthday 🎉
Good to see you again Kimberly. I can relate to what you're feeling. I'm 29 with schizoaffective. . . I'm unemployed, and not in a relationship. My family and friends are living independently and working full time, but every time I've tried to work full time I've become unwell . . . sigh. I know how you feel, but just remember, we are accomplishing SO MUCH just by getting up every day and building our own life. Society doesn't seem to value that as much, or that as success, but it's still success in my view. But the frustration of an illness getting in the way of your dreams makes sense, and is all too real. Sending you hugs
Me too! my life has been full of ups and downs and I can totally relate to what Kim is feeling and thoughts... Im on a new path after being on a recovery/therapeutic path for the last 15 years and well it's been quite a journey and a lot of ways, im grateful.
Kimberly, have you been evaluated for sleep apnea? Sleep apnea can cause "sleep marathons", waking up feeling like you haven't slept at all and many other issues. Sleep apnea is a wide spectrum from very mild to very severe, so if you do have it, it's not necessarily really terrible. However, even in mild sleep apnea people have reported feeling so much better after using the treatment. In the US, treatment is usually wearing a lightweight small mask over your nose at night. The mask is attached to a machine that helps your airway stay open all during your sleep. It can take sometimes months to get the best fit for mask and get accustomed to the machine, but when it's the right solution it's worth all the effort.
I have been taking medication for schizophrenia 2 monthes. Do you feel better with energy and concentration? I can not concentrate and I have low mood and energy during the day. I hated my life . This disease kill me literally . Actully I am studying medicine and now I may shift to nursing school because of this disease. I feel destroyed.
so sorry to hear that, the energy and concentration usually becomes better after a while but it can take time and is very individual on how long. I hope you feel better soon, is there a possibility to take some time off?
@@Kimberly_Viktoria What type of medication you use I use escitalopram 10 mg and risperidone 2 mg. because my doctor prescribe for me valpronic and i am worry that it causes alopecia. i am afraid of take it. Thankyou for you reply
I currently take cariprazine for my antipsychotic, it doesnt make me as tired like I was on risperidone. I also take a antidepressant but I don't know what it is called in English. @@غامبولواترسون-ق4ف
@@Kimberly_Viktoria I especially loved the sequences of clips from your everyday life with the music in the background- it reminded me of Woody Allen's Manhattan!
A backup plan isn’t less worth than the original plan- it’s just another choice you make. You can never tell which one is the better one- they are just choices. And having two plans is something great that not everybody is capable of. Maybe the second plan is the right way for you.
Dear Kimberly I am writing to express my curiosity regarding your previous places of residence, as depicted in your video content, and any additional locales, including towns, villages, or cities in Sweden or elsewhere in the world, if applicable. Furthermore, I am intrigued to learn about your ethnicity, and if feasible, I would appreciate insight into the associated percentages. Your assistance in providing this information would be greatly valued. Thank you for your attention to this matter. Sincerely Dionysus Chenonceaux
Dearest Kimberly The Reason is due to the fact that I'm interested in learning more about the environments, temperatures, and cultures of the places you've grown up in. Also do you know the percentages of your Swedish and Finnish blood and thank you for engaging with me! Best regards Dionysus Chenonceaux
@@finn_blacklaws hi! I do know the percentages but I feel like that and where I have lived is very personal information that I’d like to keep to myself as of right now. Hope you understand ☺️
Free Palestine and stop the genocide and then gave the stat of how many women and children have been deleted by the fascist right wing Israeli government. The number is 30,000. This keeps happening and i would just like to know who is doing it.
@@Kimberly_Viktorianever mind the fascist UA-cam lizards have blood on their hands? I know now for sure they are covering up the Palestinians holocaust. Stop starving the children! Stop deleting women and children!
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
Kimberly, I do feel I need to stand with you in feeling at the same time not accomplished and excited about a new beginning. I'm probably closer to your mother's age than to yours. When I was 34, I became very, very ill and my immune system never recovered. I had completed a master's degree and was getting ready to begin a doctoral program. Instead, I began decades of going to doctors to see if anything could be done to help me gain more functionality. About 15 years ago I made peace with how I am and who I am now. I began to be able to mourn the loss of the dreams and goals that I had to release; to slowly shed the markers of accomplishment that do not apply to me in my reality; to identify and embrace the joy and peace in whatever each day brings. When people do not have a chronic illness or injury, it is easy and expected to plan ahead for the future. When we live with chronic illness and injury, our planning and future look very, very different. On a very challenging day, my planning might look like "Today I will brush my teeth.". We live in a different reality with different sets of challenges than healthy people do. It took me many years of therapy, prayers, tears and sorrow to find peace with where I am now and to find ways to live a "juicy" life where I am now and not put off things until I'm "better". If I start something I can't finish, so what? I enjoyed it while I was able to do it, and I might be able to do it again sometime or I learned that it's not an option for me right now. I'm sorry this is so long, but I think many people with chronic challenges watch your channel and want all of us to know our lives are just as good, just as meaningful, just as worth living as they were before we became ill or injured. 💞
thank you so much for this Holly! I really resonate with it, I have often felt hopeless and very depressed about having my life disrupted by schizophrenia in the way that I did. and as you say you really have to mourn the loss of those dreams and goals you had set for yourself... again thank you for sharing and for your continued support. it means a lot! ❤🩹
This is such a great overall description of what chronic illness is. It is a heavy weight to carry and it’s easy to let the thoughts of comparison and despair to ruin you. By just existing and making the best out of it, we are winning. Lots of love
💚@@aoifemagee5447
These are such beautiful comments and replies. I struggle with bipolar 1 . I always felt guilty of not becoming a nurse and just being a nursing assistant. I came to peace with my reality three years ago that I loved when I helped others, but I cannot further my education. I then accepted my new life with a beautiful family, one friend, and most of all I found Peace. Thanks for listening. Have A Beautiful Day ❤
@@Riley_sd I am so thankful that you have found peace in the life you have, in the person that you are. My dream for you is that your peace grows deep, abiding roots. Roots so deep and strong that no storm can take it away.
You are more accomplished than most of the people in this world You are a warrior against this terrible disease
I wish You the best with your New age.Lots of hugs to you from İstanbul!❤❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
thank you! sending you a hug as well from Sweden! ❤🤗
I would LOVE to see train rides to anywhere in Sweden, looking at a museum, having fika (spelling?) !!!! That would be so relaxing and pleasant for me to see small cities or towns, scenery, unknown art, small cafes, etc. If you did a little recap at the end talking about the art or the cake or the town that would be 😻!
sounds exactly how I want to do that vlog! 😍 I would love to show some Swedish artist and cities so you being happy to see it is encouraging! 💚 thank you Holly! 🥰
@@Kimberly_Viktoria There is a lady on youtube who for a time had sponsors donating money for her travel vlogs. Until covid hit. I'll bet you could get Patreon sponsors for train tours. People want to know what to expect when they travel to Sweden.
@@engleharddinglefester4285 I don't think I have enough subscribers to sponsor such a feat. Or enough interest? 🤔 Plus I have my cats to take care of. 🥰
Hi Kimberly! I so loved the music again, and you look beautiful! I too feel like I havent accomplished much that I wanted to in my life. But I keep trying. My OA (osteo arthytis) keeps me in pain and not being able to do things as I would like to. I'm looking forward to your adventure to the other city! I forget the name already. DUH Gothamburg? LOL I see you continually pushing through all your struggles! You are a big inspiration for me. Love ya! 🤗😍❤💜💛
Thank you Mary Ann! 🥹 its Gothenburg or Göteborg in Swedish, i'm very excited for it. 😊 I hope you're doing good despite the pain, can't imagine being in that kind of pain... sending you a hug from Sweden like always too! 🤗💚
@@Kimberly_Viktoria Thanks Kimberly! 😍
Sjukt kul att saker och ting rör på sig för dig! Jag har börjat på ett Hemköp nyligen. Fyra timmar per dag i tre dagar per vecka till att börja med, och det känns väldigt bra och att man gör något med sitt liv, även om man på helgen är rätt slut efter det :) Håller tummarna på att du kommer in på skolan och tror att du kommer göra det bra ifrån dig!
tack! vad kul att det går framåt för dig med, hoppas verkligen det ska gå bra för dig! lycka till i fortsättningen! 🥰
Tack 🙂@@Kimberly_Viktoria
A belated happy birthday! Love all the footage of your kitties. :)
thank you! 🥰
I’m so excited for you! It’s funny how the backup plans are sometimes the best things that could happen to us.
I recently turned 30, and I relate to feeling “behind” and feeling sadness about everything I wanted to accomplish but couldn’t. My illnesses have taken a lot from me. But one thing they gave me was the knowledge that I am extremely strong to be able to get through all the pain I’ve experienced. The pain didn’t make me strong. I made myself strong. And that proves to me that I am strong enough to walk my own path and accomplish things at my own pace. I recently quit my job that was a terrible fit and harmed my health, and I’m going to start classes too, to learn a new skill and hopefully find better suited jobs. It’s scary but exciting!
Do you know Louise Stigell’s channel? She recently started a podcast too. She had an “non-traditional” path to becoming an artist. She has very gentle vibes.
thank you! I wish you the best and good luck with the classes you're starting, hopefully they'll lead to something better perhaps. I just looked her channel up and im definitely watching some of her content, so thank you again! 🥹💚
Enjoy your course and fingers crossed for you with the art course. I’m also studying late in life but at least I haven’t wasted my student loan studying something I wasn’t passionate about when I was younger.
thank you! 🥰
I always watch your vids, but I am a bit late for this one. In the past weeks it turned out that I am on the autism spectrum. And it seems like a whole lot of my problems stem from that.
So it is a new beginning for me. Trying to find myself again. I wish you the same! ❤
thank you for watching Agnes! I wish you well on this new beginning, must be a relief to know what's going on at least it was relief for me when getting a diagnosis. 💚 have a great week! 🥰
@@Kimberly_Viktoria thank you! ❤️
We're sending positive energy to you in accomplishing the goals that you have set for your future. We Adore your art work, and are excited to see more pieces of it. Have fun with your Sister.💕☀️✌️
thank you! 🥹💚
Hi Kimberly, just dropping by to wish you a Happy Birthday". Sorry it's a bit late. Hope you had a good day and that cake looked mightily fine. 🙂 I'm looking forward to your next upload. Hope your trip goes well and you manage to get everything done that you hope to. 🙂
thank you John! 🥰
Happy birthday. Stay safe and healthy. May God bless you.
thank you! 😊
I like you and think you are a nice person. I hope things work out with school and I like your attitude and the fact you have a back up plan if it doesn’t work out. Keep making progress.
thank you and thank you for watching! 🥰
I’ve always wanted to visit Gothenburg so I’ll love your vlog if you decide to film! Well done on the art history course, I recently started a history degree! Happy birthday 🎉
thank you! and I really intend to include as much. as possible from Gothenburg. good luck on your history degree! 💚🥰
@@Kimberly_Viktoria thank you! Will you be doing study vlogs?
I hope so! 🥹 I personally love to watch study vlogs so 🥰@@orangepulp392
That dark green sweatshirt is definitely your color! You are glowing ✨
thank you! thats so kind of you and dark green is actually my favorite color so its nice hearing that! 🥹
@@Kimberly_Viktoria you’re welcome! It definitely makes your eyes and hair color stand out!
@@jamie2204 thank you! ☺️💚
Happy belated birthday Kimmy!
thank you! 🥰
I love all your videos ❤so calming and pretty
Thank you! 🥰
Feeling unaccomplished, I identify. Now that I'm older it's not so important anymore, but yeah when you are young one does want to get things done.
Good to see you again Kimberly. I can relate to what you're feeling. I'm 29 with schizoaffective. . . I'm unemployed, and not in a relationship. My family and friends are living independently and working full time, but every time I've tried to work full time I've become unwell . . . sigh. I know how you feel, but just remember, we are accomplishing SO MUCH just by getting up every day and building our own life. Society doesn't seem to value that as much, or that as success, but it's still success in my view. But the frustration of an illness getting in the way of your dreams makes sense, and is all too real. Sending you hugs
Thank you Madeline! that makes me so happy to hear, ill check it out! 😍
Nice and honest video 🌸 Thank you for sharing. Take care❤
thank you! 💚
Great vlog!😁
thank you! 🥰
Kim, I'm25 years older than you! I remember thinking I was old at thirty because I'd been through a lot and felt tired
Me too! my life has been full of ups and downs and I can totally relate to what Kim is feeling and thoughts... Im on a new path after being on a recovery/therapeutic path for the last 15 years and well it's been quite a journey and a lot of ways, im grateful.
that I can relate to! feels like I have had a lifetime of illness already... 😳
Kimberly, have you been evaluated for sleep apnea? Sleep apnea can cause "sleep marathons", waking up feeling like you haven't slept at all and many other issues. Sleep apnea is a wide spectrum from very mild to very severe, so if you do have it, it's not necessarily really terrible. However, even in mild sleep apnea people have reported feeling so much better after using the treatment. In the US, treatment is usually wearing a lightweight small mask over your nose at night. The mask is attached to a machine that helps your airway stay open all during your sleep. It can take sometimes months to get the best fit for mask and get accustomed to the machine, but when it's the right solution it's worth all the effort.
thank you for the concern! I have check up on that during my road to the diagnosis of diabetes this winter so its not sleep apnea! 🥰
@@Kimberly_Viktoria Good! I'm glad they evaluated you for that and ruled it out.
Great vlog hope your cat is feeling better 😊
He is! 🥹
Interesting part about the groceries, I have schizophrenia as well and cook often these days.
I love cooking, definitely one of the highlights of my day, I also love experimenting in the kitchen as well 😂
♥️🌺
🥰
You are such a wonderful being. We are in this together, my "schizo" friend!
🤗
Also I recognise that snail serum haha I use the same
I love Cosrx products! 😍
I have been taking medication for schizophrenia 2 monthes. Do you feel better with energy and concentration? I can not concentrate and I have low mood and energy during the day. I hated my life . This disease kill me literally . Actully I am studying medicine and now I may shift to nursing school because of this disease. I feel destroyed.
so sorry to hear that, the energy and concentration usually becomes better after a while but it can take time and is very individual on how long. I hope you feel better soon, is there a possibility to take some time off?
@@Kimberly_Viktoria Unfortunately i cannot take time off
sad to hear, I wish you the best! 💚@@غامبولواترسون-ق4ف
@@Kimberly_Viktoria What type of medication you use I use escitalopram 10 mg and risperidone 2 mg. because my doctor prescribe for me valpronic and i am worry that it causes alopecia. i am afraid of take it. Thankyou for you reply
I currently take cariprazine for my antipsychotic, it doesnt make me as tired like I was on risperidone. I also take a antidepressant but I don't know what it is called in English. @@غامبولواترسون-ق4ف
Do you produce your own videos? They are extremely professional!
Thank you and yes! ☺️
Your videos are really well made! I agree.@@Kimberly_Viktoria
@@mikkosuhonenphotography Thank you!! 🥹😍
@@Kimberly_Viktoria I especially loved the sequences of clips from your everyday life with the music in the background- it reminded me of Woody Allen's Manhattan!
thank you!! 🥹@@jamespassas9441
Grattis på födelsedagen ❤
tack! 🥰
A backup plan isn’t less worth than the original plan- it’s just another choice you make. You can never tell which one is the better one- they are just choices. And having two plans is something great that not everybody is capable of. Maybe the second plan is the right way for you.
thank you and yes you do have a point! 🥰
Dear Kimberly
I am writing to express my curiosity regarding your previous places of residence, as depicted in your video content, and any additional locales, including towns, villages, or cities in Sweden or elsewhere in the world, if applicable. Furthermore, I am intrigued to learn about your ethnicity, and if feasible, I would appreciate insight into the associated percentages. Your assistance in providing this information would be greatly valued.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Sincerely
Dionysus Chenonceaux
May I ask why? I'm not really that interesting, my ethnicity is only Swedish and Finnish :)
Dearest Kimberly
The Reason is due to the fact that I'm interested in learning more about the environments, temperatures, and cultures of the places you've grown up in. Also do you know the percentages of your Swedish and Finnish blood and thank you for engaging with me!
Best regards
Dionysus Chenonceaux
@@finn_blacklaws hi! I do know the percentages but I feel like that and where I have lived is very personal information that I’d like to keep to myself as of right now. Hope you understand ☺️
Okay than I understand!
Did you delete my comment?
Which comment? 🤔
Free Palestine and stop the genocide and then gave the stat of how many women and children have been deleted by the fascist right wing Israeli government. The number is 30,000. This keeps happening and i would just like to know who is doing it.
@@Kimberly_Viktorianever mind the fascist UA-cam lizards have blood on their hands? I know now for sure they are covering up the Palestinians holocaust. Stop starving the children! Stop deleting women and children!
Free Palestine!
@@natas12rm 🍉