Yep. I'm exactly the same way. Then I never learn. I never learn lessons. I'm good at giving advice, but never take my own. All stems from feeling abandoned as a kid. I can do the best I can, and seem like I am okay, but it will always be in the back of my mind. Just worthless.
@@LukeWeastI went off them for about 10 years, and things got really bad. Scary bad. So I decided it was right for me to get back on them. Mixed with eating well and exercise, they really help. To each their own. I wish the best things for you. Big hug
One effect abandonment issues can have is they can completely zap any type of forward movement in your life. "Don't you wanna make lots of money? Don't you want a house someday?" Money for who? A house for who? Just me, myself and the thoughts in my head? It feels like stepping on the gas and the brake at the same time. You deeply crave emotional connection, but can't trust anyone to have that with.
But then the only thing you hear from people is "it's so simple, just go to the gym, read a book, enjoy the sun" like bitch none of that is going to fix what's wrong with me on the inside. A crazy person who works out is just a crazy person that's now jacked, ya know?
@@LukeWeastMy favorite one, especially from men's self-improvement dudes is, "Just be more masculine, bro." So again, putting on a performance for who? Me and myself? The people I already don't trust? Why would I want to court their interest exactly?
I can tell you it's better to have no friends. I ended a friendship of over 29 years; these were people I had known since we were very young children. I thought I could be myself around them and feel safe. We would talk about any issues we had face to face and sort them out, even Stevens. But you go through one bad thing after the other in a short span of time, and you have a shit time in your life where at at your lowest you've ever been, and all of a sudden they feel "neglected" in our friendship, no confronting me about it to my face no, telling me what I was I did to upset them at all. They just slandered me behind my back and sent me a passive-aggressive message that made me feel lower than low and no longer want to exist. I'm not going to claim to be holier than thou because I know I made mistakes in our friendship, but I always owned it, and we would talk about things face to face; the problem was communication was challenging for me, and they knew this, they knew everything that was going on with me, and I had no idea what it was I did to them, I'm not a clairvoyant, if you don't tell me what I've done to irk you, I haven't a clue. I will never get over it and will never forgive them. They had all my love, respect and adoration, but apparently, that wasn't extended to me. Better to be alone and miserable than in a friendship that makes you feel like you are the foulest person in all of humanity.
I also feel that if you don't tell me exactly what the problem is, then I don't know. But a lot of people don't understand that. Maybe it's because I don't read, can't pick up on social queues or something. I guess I feel this whole thing haha, because even in highschool and after that I guess you could say I had "friends" but all of them went to parties I was never invited to, never been asked to go, ya know. So it's like the fuck I thought we were supposed to be friends ya asshole
I'm sorry that you've struggled with this. It can be extremely disheartening, especially in high school, and as we get older, it's the thing I hang out with you, but I don't keep you in mind to invite/include you. A friendship of convenience. It's worse when someone doesn't empathise with your struggles in every sense of the word. A good friend who truly and deeply understands you and what you struggle with will never hold it against you. A "perfect" friend will understand that social situations with you, as with communication, struggle. The truth is, there is no such thing as a perfect friend because none of us in this world is perfect, but if you have someone who truly understands and appreciates you and your struggles and will always be an open book on where you stand face to face, then you've won the lottery. Sadly, in my case, I thought I had that, so it's still very raw and has damaged my trust in people; I don't want this to happen to others; I'm not saying that there are not good people out there, but they are few these days. @@LukeWeast
You want to know why? Because it’s a fucking animal. It doesn’t know love. It doesn’t know what abandonment is. It follows you around for food. That’s why it gives you attention.
@@psychotic.reaction I hope you know that we are also animals, the difference is we have a more developed consciousness you know? A dog is going to love you for the simplest of things because its nature doesn't demand a lot. A dog knows what is love and abandonment in its own way and we've observed these reactions because this animal is smarter than many other animals, it has an IQ equating a 3 year old child minimum.
@@psychotic.reactionExactly!! People give those mutants too much credit. A hound on 4 legs that just won't food and shelter. But I expect nothing less from humans who see love and attention. Most don't or can't get it from other humans so they seek It from their animals because they know they can't say no. Almost like an emotional slave.
Only issues ive got with abandonment is when it comes to relationships outside my family. No friends RN either. Get so used to being alone and then you meet people and think they care but really it seems like they don't. Just can't trust anybody rn.
People usually disappoint at one time or another 99.9% of the time. I wouldn’t say I have abandonment issues, at least not anymore. Because happiness, contentment etc only comes from within, not without. Love ya Luke, you’ll figure it soon ❤️🇦🇺
Feeling kinda proud of your for bringing up this topic Luke my man. Speaking for myself fear of abdonment (FOA) is a big symptom in alot of people with bpd. I know u dont like labels but we have to call it something. FOA is slightly different in everyone with bpd. Some people will deal with it by pushing people away who get too close because they fear being disappointed and abandoned. They fear putting their trust and faith in others because they have always been disappointed and hurt in the past. (I have this type of FOA. ) Other people will cling to whats known as a favourite person (FP) to the point that they kind of admire and cherish them so much that they will actually begin to dress and act like the FP. Or if the FP is the opposite gender they will be very attentive, texting them alot and basically trying to revolve their world around making the FP happy so the FP will appreciate them, love them and never abandon them. People with BPD have a unstable self image. Usually formed by criticism, neglect, lack of guidance, abuse etc during childhood. Its not uncommon for people to change their appearance with bpd. Anyway, you are right FOA is a huge part of the reason by people with bpd have unstable relationships, find it hard to make friends and have romantic relationships and even employment etc How can you deal with this? What has been working for me is that i now have boundaries in a relationship. A problem with us borderlines that we can tend to pour our heart and and soul into a relationship hoping the other person will do the same and when they fail to live up pur expectations we can feel betrayed and abandoned and thats when we start being nasty and mistreating our partner or friends because we wnat them to feel how much they have hurt us. Before i had an "Us against the world" attitude to relationships. Now i think of it more along the lines of me and my partner have our own path in life, for the most part we will share the same path but every so often we will separate at the fork in the road and go and check out whats new what we can find to enjoy and appreciate outside of the relationship then meet up back at the path at some point. Share our experiences. Now i have my own goals and projects outside of my relationship so i divide my time between the two so im not constantly focused on if my partner is happy with me or going to kick me out. I think in the back of your mind you worry alot about being kicked out of your parents house again. The first time seemed to have a traumatic effect on you (understandably). I know that feeling. I was kicked out a few times by my bpd/narcissistic mother. I slept in emergency waiting rooms, an apartment covered in dog mess with a pitbull living in it, friends couches. Sometimes i would just walk the streets all night. I know how it feels man. Theres a post on my I.G that i put up the other day when i was feeling extremely low and actually cried all day. I was so emotional after having an awesome day the previous day. At the time i actually felt abandoned by "happiness". Check it out if u want a glimps into how bpd can effect my life. You might find some similarities to your own life. If u like any of my art please leave a like. Anything i can help with DM me. I already follow u and u know my i.g name anyway. Hope this helps. Have a good Sunday.
Seems like at times I do all of that besides changing who I am. I guess I was going through something like that from like 17-23 went from emo, to a normal guy with black skinny jeans, to shaving my head and wearing cargo pants then back to I guess whatever you'd describe me as now lolol
I was stalked by the first girl I had sex with. I don't give a shit, I can handle myself. But I'm just think why you wanna know where I'm going lol, not like it gonna talk to me, just watching
Hey Luke good to see you keeping up consistency here even if it is 3 am where I live 😅 But watching your videos this late just feels right I genuinely hope your situation improves you seem down to earth and REAL which is rare these days Thank you!
I watch because I know you don’t have the answers to anything and it’s reassuring to know there’s someone else going through similar things. I spend all my time alone as well. Got burned by some people that I thought were friends but weren’t good for me. And I don’t trust anyone in the slightest cause it seems like everyone’s in it for themselves and nitpicks reasons to have a problem or try to get over on someone in some way. Don’t know if this means anything to you but I heard the secret to healing abandonment is to stop abandoning the self. Anyways when you said that thing about not caring about anything after hearing the news with your ex, it kinda gave me an epiphany for my own life situation.
I understand Where you're coming from I'm the same Way, life is shity but Self improvement Is the best way to happiness I like your Content and I Hope you get to a 100k Followers You seem like a cool guy
@@LukeWeast you Naturally Change throughout the course of your life And you can't predict your outcome so It's good to cut out bad things and replace them with good things Cuz then you truly start to feel good about yourself and a 100% of you is a 10% of me And that goes for everyone Lol
I’ve been thinking about my own lately so this is good timing. Hearing you, honestly, inspires me to get through these issues and not let them eat me up
@@LukeWeast Its really only real thing that we all can 'lean on' and only thing that make's us who we really are, just push and dont fall of the Road, keep goin, we will stay happy and positive about life... atleast I 'Hope' It will work out for everyone 😅❤
same shit. i grew up in a strict household, where my parents had no trust both for each other and me. i ended up having no friends in my teenage years and when i began socialising in my university i began being friends with the people who were the shittiest friends i could ever find and eventually i grew apart from them. being alone i think is better than with fake people. at least we’ve got youtube(
There is a lot of contradictory information out there telling you how to cope and deal with things, we know you dont know, and with that almost comes an assurance that you are on a journey that I imagine many deal with. This video was very relateable, and comforting even. The Struggle is real, and I think we all eventually figure it out or die trying.
I think the key is finding what works for you. That's why I hate when people say just read this or do this like bitch. Honestly I think it feels better when you figure it out yourself, more self worth or something. Anyone can read a fucking book, but it takes a brain to do something yourself without any knowledge
I'm the same way about trust. But I think if you figure out someone's base beliefs, also what their intentions are. What their philosophy of life is in detail, understand that view. You can then trust that person in certain aspects by getting knowledge of their viewpoint. It can either lead to this person understands or they got a warped view.
I've met and gone to school with many people in your situation, getting thrown to the wolves at 18 or 20. I've tried to help them get jobs by referencing them and succeeded sometimes, but these people trust NO ONE. They always expect the worse in people, which would make most people stop trying to help them. I've never been in their situation, but I can understand on some level not being able to trust or open up to people because people can be monumentally crappy towards others. Like people will just get in some other person's way because they can.
I would say I wish everyone could feel like this so that they understand why a lot of people have no drive or something. Know how I feel you know. But at the same time, I NEVER want anyone to feel like this.
It’s okay not to “like to read” that’s why audiobooks are so popular. I recommend you listen to Attached which will help you understand your behaviors and those of your parents. It certainly was an eye opener for me. I look back and wished I had the knowledge I have now at your age. Listen to the audiobook and you’ll have a 20+ year jump start on me.
No one can have a plan when they're broke. Once you make good money, you start thinking about doing things, planning things. And I guess the only way to make good money is to work a good job from the jump, or invest money little by little and years pass by and you'll have a couple 10,000 dollar in stocks or crypto or wherever.
Oh teal swan has info for this. Apparently the cure is closeness, so than you can grow to be able to have more distance after building the trust being super close. So it’s a double edged sword. The only cure is finding someone to be super attached to for a few weeks or months 😂
Rushing into relationships has also been a problem of mine. And I see it a problem for many. I think you should get to know someone before deciding to even be in a relationship to begin with. Because a lot of the time true colors show only after months or years, and that also scares the shit outta me is that people hide easily
maybe a few people look up to you because you managed to record and post a video like many of us wish we had the spunk to do, but i think most people are just looking AT you, and thats how you become a youtuber baby keep it up
If no one has it all together, what then is the point, what is the aim? You can't trust others, but that means you can't trust yourself either. They both go together. Where go? What do? We need help from outside, but if other people are unable to help, because they can't help themselves (which is the same as saying they can't help anyone else), where do we go for help?
And even I feel like I don't explain it well enough in this video. Honestly this one I'll admit wasn't the best I could've done. Kinda just slopped it together. I guess they're all that way but this one, eh
Just i was recently self sabtaboging a relationship and idk why i was exactly, but i saw the end, and i can't feel, the connection i desire in the connection i have, and idk, and its really not a connection i should care about, this person does not actually care for me, but i dont want them to abandon me just because i just dont, i just want things to end, that way, if its going to end then I do actually wnat to be the one to do it, but some context it is a girl an Ex-coworker etc she is very hot and cold, and does not really care, and i hated that i self sabataboge and decided to take it back andsay my feeling i dump to her more elegantly then say bye and apologize im leaving some details out, but i didnt realize i could be behaving this way do to abandoment issues. and also i am needy and clingy a bit, but i hated that i was stupid and said the things i did, so decided to stop being so emotonal, now, all logic and reason is telling me to not care to text her, no real connection at all between us, she said she forgiven me and everything okay, i just idk why she strings me along ever so slightly, and never really talks exactly but more of a context, i thought things ended between us already, i sabtoged and said im going delete your number and i deleted her number so i wont be able to contact her again but she texted me out the blue, saying she has a new number and that i can reach out to her when i want. i'm not sure why she cared to do that, does she need me, does she care for me? idk. about the misfit friend group, i only ever had like 1 friend really but 3 friends i hanged out with, and like the kicked me out this happen in middle school, and i havent really been able to make a real friend sense, i always like the one leaves, i hate meeting new people but also love meeting new people at the same time but i feel really guilty and underserving of friends, because i am a bad friend, i feel like, and like there was a friend that i should seriously still be friends with, but i didnt like the idea that he had a heart conditon, and so on, so just didnt care if it fade away well i did, this is not going to make sense, but we were the only 2 that took this community class, about technolgy, just the 2 of us in that class, and at the end, of it, the teacher asked us if we need any advice, and he said like asked the teacher how to maintain releationships, something like that with friends, he said exactly what i was thinking we were like brothers in a way he told me to watch the berzerk movies, and i see why he told me too, like friendship in the moives well series is the kind i think he wanted for us, but if you know anything about berzerk, its was really fucked up at some parts. but i wished i would of watch it when he told me about it then and not after. he said he use to be like me and stuff, and he really wanted me to chased after the things i wanted to in life and do what i want to do and what will make me happy ehh anyways, i do see abandoment as like the curse of my life somewhat, that i expect it to happen, there was this girl at this one job i had i told im probably never going to see you again, was my last words to her, and i didn really realize how fucked up, of me to say that to her, especially if she liked me, or cared for the connection like i did, anyways like i said, im imainge to be stoic in a sense now, with this girl im texting now, i let my emotions get excited but i wait for them to settle before i text her and i try not to let my emotions build up and have to much anexity or panic or worry either but my last text to her was just saying okay, bascially to her forgiving me. but text prior was me saying a whole bunch things spilling my heart out and then saying good bye, and dont text back, this will be good way to end things between us. i just want things to end, in a good way not bad way, and idk why she wont let me go ecactly, but either way im not caring to care to feel connected anymore, or desire anything, in this relationsip anymore im just wondering what her "next move" will be if anything at all. @@LukeWeast
@@justtekina6709 what I've found is.. what does it matter. If they text they text if they don't they don't. I'm not going to waste my brain capacity anymore on things that I cannot control, you should do the same. Sounds like you're like me when I was younger worrying about every little thing. In my experience all it did was making me worry and nothing else. But also to be fair I wouldn't be me if life didn't happen the way it did so yeah. Let life be lived or something
I'm not sure. Guess you could say it's neutral. I don't talk to them really. I think I've said before though to be fair I have nothing to talk about. Like I don't talk to people, you know? It's not just them. I think there's a lot of things that I want to say to them, but honestly it wouldn't make a difference now, you know, I don't hate them anymore like I used to when I got kicked out and when I was forced to do sports and wanting someone to talk to, ya know. I could tell them that, but I don't care now. It doesn't bother me nothing now. But I feel like a kid shouldn't have to explain to their parents that they understand that life is hard, it should be the other way around. I think that both my parents have their own problems and definitely project it onto people, it's not really something I want in my life you know. I still love them, but you know, from a distance
2:13 Dear, brother... your wife/significant other is NOT the person to dump this on. If they say they want honesty, openness and transparency... do the GD opposite. They WILL resent your weakness. Beer your soul to those who would strengthen and uplift you... not women.
Completely not true at all. That's based on personal experience so its very subjective. I used to make 20/hr until I met my Wife that helps me pay bills and gave emotional support for me to go back to school after her PhD. I now speak 6 languages and program for a living making around $2k a week. It's also not "dumping" this on, it's having another individual to grow with. "if they say they want etc" is just what they say, you must be intellectual enough to know if they're lying. To assume it's not true based on a belief is somewhat delusional.
@@LukeWeast 100% not the right one for you. We can't choose family. Family causes a lot of unneeded thoughts that are not our own individual thoughts, but you can choose to be around good people or bad people. There is 100% a women out there that you can be transparent together with that will grow with you. If you fall she'll help you up, she falls you do that same. To assume transparency is a bad thing seems to be a psychological thought that is only based on you looking at passed patterns in your life. Patterns are cool, but doesn't make it true.
@@LukeWeast Fair enough. It would seem we're at different stages of the game. Do we hope for the world to be as we wish? Or do we accept the world for what it is?
Yep. I'm exactly the same way. Then I never learn. I never learn lessons. I'm good at giving advice, but never take my own. All stems from feeling abandoned as a kid. I can do the best I can, and seem like I am okay, but it will always be in the back of my mind. Just worthless.
It's a pain in the ass to try and solve yourself. But I'm determined, maybe one day I'll figure it out
@@LukeWeast I just take meds, exercise a lot, and pretend I'm better. Works enough.
@@jaimereynolds258 I want that permanent solution. But also I hate medication. I think people should be themselves, not medicated
@@LukeWeastI went off them for about 10 years, and things got really bad. Scary bad. So I decided it was right for me to get back on them. Mixed with eating well and exercise, they really help. To each their own. I wish the best things for you. Big hug
One effect abandonment issues can have is they can completely zap any type of forward movement in your life. "Don't you wanna make lots of money? Don't you want a house someday?" Money for who? A house for who? Just me, myself and the thoughts in my head?
It feels like stepping on the gas and the brake at the same time. You deeply crave emotional connection, but can't trust anyone to have that with.
But then the only thing you hear from people is "it's so simple, just go to the gym, read a book, enjoy the sun" like bitch none of that is going to fix what's wrong with me on the inside. A crazy person who works out is just a crazy person that's now jacked, ya know?
@@LukeWeastMy favorite one, especially from men's self-improvement dudes is, "Just be more masculine, bro."
So again, putting on a performance for who? Me and myself? The people I already don't trust? Why would I want to court their interest exactly?
I can tell you it's better to have no friends. I ended a friendship of over 29 years; these were people I had known since we were very young children. I thought I could be myself around them and feel safe. We would talk about any issues we had face to face and sort them out, even Stevens. But you go through one bad thing after the other in a short span of time, and you have a shit time in your life where at at your lowest you've ever been, and all of a sudden they feel "neglected" in our friendship, no confronting me about it to my face no, telling me what I was I did to upset them at all. They just slandered me behind my back and sent me a passive-aggressive message that made me feel lower than low and no longer want to exist. I'm not going to claim to be holier than thou because I know I made mistakes in our friendship, but I always owned it, and we would talk about things face to face; the problem was communication was challenging for me, and they knew this, they knew everything that was going on with me, and I had no idea what it was I did to them, I'm not a clairvoyant, if you don't tell me what I've done to irk you, I haven't a clue. I will never get over it and will never forgive them. They had all my love, respect and adoration, but apparently, that wasn't extended to me. Better to be alone and miserable than in a friendship that makes you feel like you are the foulest person in all of humanity.
I also feel that if you don't tell me exactly what the problem is, then I don't know. But a lot of people don't understand that. Maybe it's because I don't read, can't pick up on social queues or something. I guess I feel this whole thing haha, because even in highschool and after that I guess you could say I had "friends" but all of them went to parties I was never invited to, never been asked to go, ya know. So it's like the fuck I thought we were supposed to be friends ya asshole
I'm sorry that you've struggled with this. It can be extremely disheartening, especially in high school, and as we get older, it's the thing I hang out with you, but I don't keep you in mind to invite/include you. A friendship of convenience. It's worse when someone doesn't empathise with your struggles in every sense of the word. A good friend who truly and deeply understands you and what you struggle with will never hold it against you. A "perfect" friend will understand that social situations with you, as with communication, struggle. The truth is, there is no such thing as a perfect friend because none of us in this world is perfect, but if you have someone who truly understands and appreciates you and your struggles and will always be an open book on where you stand face to face, then you've won the lottery. Sadly, in my case, I thought I had that, so it's still very raw and has damaged my trust in people; I don't want this to happen to others; I'm not saying that there are not good people out there, but they are few these days. @@LukeWeast
You are among friends here. We watch Luke because we have something in common, maybe many things in common.
A dog will never wake one day and decide he doesn't love you anymore.
You want to know why? Because it’s a fucking animal. It doesn’t know love. It doesn’t know what abandonment is. It follows you around for food. That’s why it gives you attention.
@@psychotic.reactionwell animals actually do feel love man,especially for their care takers
@@psychotic.reaction I hope you know that we are also animals, the difference is we have a more developed consciousness you know? A dog is going to love you for the simplest of things because its nature doesn't demand a lot. A dog knows what is love and abandonment in its own way and we've observed these reactions because this animal is smarter than many other animals, it has an IQ equating a 3 year old child minimum.
@@psychotic.reactionExactly!! People give those mutants too much credit. A hound on 4 legs that just won't food and shelter. But I expect nothing less from humans who see love and attention. Most don't or can't get it from other humans so they seek It from their animals because they know they can't say no. Almost like an emotional slave.
@@psychotic.reactionX Wrong answer
Only issues ive got with abandonment is when it comes to relationships outside my family. No friends RN either. Get so used to being alone and then you meet people and think they care but really it seems like they don't. Just can't trust anybody rn.
Same with me. Can't trust anyone but family.
Ah yes, perfect timing, issues I’m working with now and a video pops up that I probably don’t wanna hear but need to
Hope it helps or something even though I don't have an answer haha
People usually disappoint at one time or another 99.9% of the time. I wouldn’t say I have abandonment issues, at least not anymore. Because happiness, contentment etc only comes from within, not without. Love ya Luke, you’ll figure it soon ❤️🇦🇺
Yeah hopefully before I find a wife so I don't let history repeat itself
Feeling kinda proud of your for bringing up this topic Luke my man.
Speaking for myself fear of abdonment (FOA) is a big symptom in alot of people with bpd. I know u dont like labels but we have to call it something.
FOA is slightly different in everyone with bpd. Some people will deal with it by pushing people away who get too close because they fear being disappointed and abandoned. They fear putting their trust and faith in others because they have always been disappointed and hurt in the past. (I have this type of FOA. )
Other people will cling to whats known as a favourite person (FP) to the point that they kind of admire and cherish them so much that they will actually begin to dress and act like the FP. Or if the FP is the opposite gender they will be very attentive, texting them alot and basically trying to revolve their world around making the FP happy so the FP will appreciate them, love them and never abandon them.
People with BPD have a unstable self image. Usually formed by criticism, neglect, lack of guidance, abuse etc during childhood. Its not uncommon for people to change their appearance with bpd.
Anyway, you are right FOA is a huge part of the reason by people with bpd have unstable relationships, find it hard to make friends and have romantic relationships and even employment etc
How can you deal with this? What has been working for me is that i now have boundaries in a relationship. A problem with us borderlines that we can tend to pour our heart and and soul into a relationship hoping the other person will do the same and when they fail to live up pur expectations we can feel betrayed and abandoned and thats when we start being nasty and mistreating our partner or friends because we wnat them to feel how much they have hurt us.
Before i had an "Us against the world" attitude to relationships. Now i think of it more along the lines of me and my partner have our own path in life, for the most part we will share the same path but every so often we will separate at the fork in the road and go and check out whats new what we can find to enjoy and appreciate outside of the relationship then meet up back at the path at some point. Share our experiences.
Now i have my own goals and projects outside of my relationship so i divide my time between the two so im not constantly focused on if my partner is happy with me or going to kick me out.
I think in the back of your mind you worry alot about being kicked out of your parents house again. The first time seemed to have a traumatic effect on you (understandably). I know that feeling. I was kicked out a few times by my bpd/narcissistic mother. I slept in emergency waiting rooms, an apartment covered in dog mess with a pitbull living in it, friends couches. Sometimes i would just walk the streets all night. I know how it feels man.
Theres a post on my I.G that i put up the other day when i was feeling extremely low and actually cried all day. I was so emotional after having an awesome day the previous day.
At the time i actually felt abandoned by "happiness". Check it out if u want a glimps into how bpd can effect my life. You might find some similarities to your own life. If u like any of my art please leave a like.
Anything i can help with DM me. I already follow u and u know my i.g name anyway.
Hope this helps. Have a good Sunday.
Seems like at times I do all of that besides changing who I am. I guess I was going through something like that from like 17-23 went from emo, to a normal guy with black skinny jeans, to shaving my head and wearing cargo pants then back to I guess whatever you'd describe me as now lolol
I think people like you , not because they think you know everything, but because they can relate to your struggle.
I mean that's fine but so many call me a hero or that I'm on some pedestal. It's just. I'm not sure, I don't feel that lol
@@LukeWeastYeah I get that. People can definitely be over zealous.
@@LukeWeast it's possible that you are their "favourite person" if they have abandonment issues too.
I have no friends either. I have been gang stalked by former friends, co-workers and so on... I do not trust anyone.
I was stalked by the first girl I had sex with. I don't give a shit, I can handle myself. But I'm just think why you wanna know where I'm going lol, not like it gonna talk to me, just watching
Hey Luke good to see you keeping up consistency here even if it is 3 am where I live 😅
But watching your videos this late just feels right
I genuinely hope your situation improves you seem down to earth and REAL which is rare these days
Thank you!
Don't say that, I'll be eating more grass tomorrow
@@LukeWeast new lore just dropped Luke’s favourite food is grass
I watch because I know you don’t have the answers to anything and it’s reassuring to know there’s someone else going through similar things.
I spend all my time alone as well. Got burned by some people that I thought were friends but weren’t good for me. And I don’t trust anyone in the slightest cause it seems like everyone’s in it for themselves and nitpicks reasons to have a problem or try to get over on someone in some way. Don’t know if this means anything to you but I heard the secret to healing abandonment is to stop abandoning the self.
Anyways when you said that thing about not caring about anything after hearing the news with your ex, it kinda gave me an epiphany for my own life situation.
But you are a great communicator and a very good UA-camr, so that is something you should be proud of mate.
Eh, I don't try with any of my videos. I can't edit, I don't have a good camera. It just comes from the heart and that's all it is.
I understand Where you're coming from I'm the same Way, life is shity but Self improvement Is the best way to happiness I like your Content and I Hope you get to a 100k Followers You seem like a cool guy
I mean, I don't believe in progress, there is only change.
@@LukeWeast you Naturally Change throughout the course of your life And you can't predict your outcome so It's good to cut out bad things and replace them with good things Cuz then you truly start to feel good about yourself and a 100% of you is a 10% of me And that goes for everyone Lol
I already know when the hand's raised in the thumbnail shit's real serious.
Lolol
this hits the spot too bro, last to years. sheeee
Went from Morroco to canada alone at 17 i feel u bro
I'd love to hear your story one day bro, that sounds like fun & little scary, but I'm sure everything turned out alr
Why would you come to such a horrible country? All the Canadians I know are trying to leave this overrated snow globe lol
Came 8 years ago, im trinna leave too lmao @@canadianredneck77
Was rought but like u said everything turned alr ! @@prettyboishah2898
I’ve been thinking about my own lately so this is good timing. Hearing you, honestly, inspires me to get through these issues and not let them eat me up
Like I said, I'm still searching for a solution
Don't lose hope man!
Never
@@LukeWeast Its really only real thing that we all can 'lean on' and only thing that make's us who we really are, just push and dont fall of the Road, keep goin, we will stay happy and positive about life... atleast I 'Hope' It will work out for everyone 😅❤
same shit. i grew up in a strict household, where my parents had no trust both for each other and me. i ended up having no friends in my teenage years and when i began socialising in my university i began being friends with the people who were the shittiest friends i could ever find and eventually i grew apart from them. being alone i think is better than with fake people. at least we’ve got youtube(
Ain't about the UA-cam. Gotta be able to find yourself. It's the love you have for yourself that makes the world go round
There is a lot of contradictory information out there telling you how to cope and deal with things, we know you dont know, and with that almost comes an assurance that you are on a journey that I imagine many deal with. This video was very relateable, and comforting even. The Struggle is real, and I think we all eventually figure it out or die trying.
I think the key is finding what works for you. That's why I hate when people say just read this or do this like bitch. Honestly I think it feels better when you figure it out yourself, more self worth or something. Anyone can read a fucking book, but it takes a brain to do something yourself without any knowledge
I'm the same way about trust. But I think if you figure out someone's base beliefs, also what their intentions are. What their philosophy of life is in detail, understand that view. You can then trust that person in certain aspects by getting knowledge of their viewpoint. It can either lead to this person understands or they got a warped view.
Thanks for being real. I can’t support ai videos, and I hope nobody does.
Maybe I'm an AI
I like it Luke. Keep it up brother. True words!
You and I are living a very similar life bro. Its wild.
I've met and gone to school with many people in your situation, getting thrown to the wolves at 18 or 20. I've tried to help them get jobs by referencing them and succeeded sometimes, but these people trust NO ONE. They always expect the worse in people, which would make most people stop trying to help them. I've never been in their situation, but I can understand on some level not being able to trust or open up to people because people can be monumentally crappy towards others. Like people will just get in some other person's way because they can.
I would say I wish everyone could feel like this so that they understand why a lot of people have no drive or something. Know how I feel you know. But at the same time, I NEVER want anyone to feel like this.
It’s okay not to “like to read” that’s why audiobooks are so popular. I recommend you listen to Attached which will help you understand your behaviors and those of your parents. It certainly was an eye opener for me. I look back and wished I had the knowledge I have now at your age. Listen to the audiobook and you’ll have a 20+ year jump start on me.
Eh. I like to figure it out myself
@@LukeWeastjust give it a try bro
No one can have a plan when they're broke.
Once you make good money, you start thinking about doing things, planning things.
And I guess the only way to make good money is to work a good job from the jump, or invest money little by little and years pass by and you'll have a couple 10,000 dollar in stocks or crypto or wherever.
Nothing stays the same forever
Man these vids are like 2016 style videos
And they'll continue to be because my broke ass can't afford a better camera and boomer brain don't know how to edit
You should Take it as a compliment.@@LukeWeast
i have a creative outlet too, that i feel i should just focus on
in the same boat
Sucks shit lol
@@LukeWeast ye
Oh teal swan has info for this. Apparently the cure is closeness, so than you can grow to be able to have more distance after building the trust being super close. So it’s a double edged sword. The only cure is finding someone to be super attached to for a few weeks or months 😂
Rushing into relationships has also been a problem of mine. And I see it a problem for many. I think you should get to know someone before deciding to even be in a relationship to begin with. Because a lot of the time true colors show only after months or years, and that also scares the shit outta me is that people hide easily
maybe a few people look up to you because you managed to record and post a video like many of us wish we had the spunk to do, but i think most people are just looking AT you, and thats how you become a youtuber baby keep it up
Thank you :) I will
4:20 nice
Noice
Have you ever been in a fist fight?
? Ting tong
I would answer but UA-cam doesn't like how I comment I guess
@LukeWeast just comment in emojis bro 🧙🏻♂️🔥
@@KingFroglet I should just make a video lolol, they don't really remove those
oh you mean take-backsies lol. ya that a problem
If no one has it all together, what then is the point, what is the aim? You can't trust others, but that means you can't trust yourself either. They both go together. Where go? What do? We need help from outside, but if other people are unable to help, because they can't help themselves (which is the same as saying they can't help anyone else), where do we go for help?
You have to find the help within yourself, the strength within your heart to carry on. That is the only way
i kind of was abandon by a misfit friend group I was in ----ehh you even explain it better than i could to myself....
And even I feel like I don't explain it well enough in this video. Honestly this one I'll admit wasn't the best I could've done. Kinda just slopped it together. I guess they're all that way but this one, eh
Just i was recently self sabtaboging a relationship and idk why i was exactly, but i saw the end, and i can't feel, the connection i desire in the connection i have, and idk, and its really not a connection i should care about, this person does not actually care for me, but i dont want them to abandon me just because i just dont, i just want things to end, that way, if its going to end then I do actually wnat to be the one to do it,
but some context it is a girl an Ex-coworker etc she is very hot and cold, and does not really care, and i hated that i self sabataboge and decided to take it back andsay my feeling i dump to her more elegantly then say bye and apologize
im leaving some details out, but i didnt realize i could be behaving this way do to abandoment issues. and also i am needy and clingy a bit,
but i hated that i was stupid and said the things i did, so decided to stop being so emotonal, now, all logic and reason is telling me to not care to text her, no real connection at all between us,
she said she forgiven me and everything okay, i just idk why she strings me along ever so slightly, and never really talks exactly
but more of a context, i thought things ended between us already, i sabtoged and said im going delete your number and i deleted her number so i wont be able to contact her again
but she texted me out the blue, saying she has a new number and that i can reach out to her when i want.
i'm not sure why she cared to do that, does she need me, does she care for me? idk.
about the misfit friend group, i only ever had like 1 friend really but 3 friends i hanged out with, and like the kicked me out
this happen in middle school,
and i havent really been able to make a real friend sense, i always like the one leaves, i hate meeting new people but also love meeting new people at the same time
but i feel really guilty and underserving of friends, because i am a bad friend, i feel like, and like there was a friend that i should seriously still be friends with, but i didnt like the idea that he had a heart conditon, and so on, so just didnt care if it fade away well i did,
this is not going to make sense, but we were the only 2 that took this community class, about technolgy, just the 2 of us in that class, and at the end, of it, the teacher asked us if we need any advice,
and he said like asked the teacher how to maintain releationships, something like that with friends, he said exactly what i was thinking we were like brothers in a way
he told me to watch the berzerk movies, and i see why he told me too, like friendship in the moives well series is the kind i think he wanted for us,
but if you know anything about berzerk, its was really fucked up at some parts.
but i wished i would of watch it when he told me about it then and not after.
he said he use to be like me and stuff, and he really wanted me to chased after the things i wanted to in life and do what i want to do and what will make me happy
ehh anyways, i do see abandoment as like the curse of my life somewhat, that i expect it to happen,
there was this girl at this one job i had i told im probably never going to see you again, was my last words to her,
and i didn really realize how fucked up, of me to say that to her, especially if she liked me, or cared for the connection like i did,
anyways like i said, im imainge to be stoic in a sense now, with this girl im texting now, i let my emotions get excited but i wait for them to settle before i text her and i try not to let my emotions build up and have to much anexity or panic or worry either
but my last text to her was just saying okay, bascially to her forgiving me.
but text prior was me saying a whole bunch things spilling my heart out and then saying good bye, and dont text back, this will be good way to end things between us.
i just want things to end, in a good way not bad way, and idk why she wont let me go ecactly, but
either way im not caring to care to feel connected anymore, or desire anything, in this relationsip anymore
im just wondering what her "next move" will be if anything at all. @@LukeWeast
@@justtekina6709 what I've found is.. what does it matter. If they text they text if they don't they don't. I'm not going to waste my brain capacity anymore on things that I cannot control, you should do the same. Sounds like you're like me when I was younger worrying about every little thing. In my experience all it did was making me worry and nothing else. But also to be fair I wouldn't be me if life didn't happen the way it did so yeah. Let life be lived or something
I know you probably weren't planning to, but please don't shave the beard, looks so freaking cool.
Never lol. Imma keep growing it till I hate it
Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
I'm not sure. Guess you could say it's neutral. I don't talk to them really. I think I've said before though to be fair I have nothing to talk about. Like I don't talk to people, you know? It's not just them. I think there's a lot of things that I want to say to them, but honestly it wouldn't make a difference now, you know, I don't hate them anymore like I used to when I got kicked out and when I was forced to do sports and wanting someone to talk to, ya know. I could tell them that, but I don't care now. It doesn't bother me nothing now. But I feel like a kid shouldn't have to explain to their parents that they understand that life is hard, it should be the other way around. I think that both my parents have their own problems and definitely project it onto people, it's not really something I want in my life you know. I still love them, but you know, from a distance
@@LukeWeast I saw in a previous video you mentioned living with them is that still true? Sorry for my questions
I love you man
2:13 Dear, brother... your wife/significant other is NOT the person to dump this on. If they say they want honesty, openness and transparency... do the GD opposite. They WILL resent your weakness. Beer your soul to those who would strengthen and uplift you... not women.
Guess they're not right for me if they don't accept me for who I am
Completely not true at all. That's based on personal experience so its very subjective. I used to make 20/hr until I met my Wife that helps me pay bills and gave emotional support for me to go back to school after her PhD. I now speak 6 languages and program for a living making around $2k a week. It's also not "dumping" this on, it's having another individual to grow with. "if they say they want etc" is just what they say, you must be intellectual enough to know if they're lying. To assume it's not true based on a belief is somewhat delusional.
@@LukeWeast 100% not the right one for you. We can't choose family. Family causes a lot of unneeded thoughts that are not our own individual thoughts, but you can choose to be around good people or bad people. There is 100% a women out there that you can be transparent together with that will grow with you. If you fall she'll help you up, she falls you do that same. To assume transparency is a bad thing seems to be a psychological thought that is only based on you looking at passed patterns in your life. Patterns are cool, but doesn't make it true.
@@LukeWeast Fair enough. It would seem we're at different stages of the game. Do we hope for the world to be as we wish? Or do we accept the world for what it is?
The only game is the one you play with yourself
Age?
25
@LukeWeast im 21 and look 12. At least u look mature man
I thought you live with your parents?
I moved back when I was like 22
@@LukeWeast keep hustlin' nuffin lasts forever
U ar not readinggg but still??
i think u ar searching something on the nettt 🤓
at least somethingggg about psychology
I don't read lol
the world is fucked move on
Yeah it is
Yeah cut it and shorter beard
No no. I still love my beard. I want to look like a wizard
r u gonna shave soon
My beard? Fuck no. My hair? Eh, I was thinking of actually cutting it this time, little shorter on the sides. I do kinda want to grow my hair out.
a mohawk would be chill, then you could pick up a job driving a yellow cab.
I see what you did there.
@@mattp4079 change my name to Travis