If you have Abandonment Issues, this is THE CURE (WATCH THIS)
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- Опубліковано 18 лип 2021
- Cure ABANDONMENT WOUNDS like this! Access The Frame Technique Workshop FOR FREE in my new App HighViber ➡️ www.highviber.com
Having an abandonment wound is much more common than you think.
An abandonment wound is when as a kid, we felt like in some way we are either physically, emotionally, or some form of abandonment happened where we felt like either our feelings didn't matter.
And as a result of this, we wired in a level of ourselves that thought that there's some level of shame that we are broken in some way, that our feelings don't matter, and what we'll find is that there's many side effects or symptoms that come from the abandonment wound.
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It resonates I’ve attracted sociopaths and narcissists and had children to them
Accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and you will be saved. John 3:16 (Share the good news of the gospel around the world!)...... ,,..
Have a wonderful rest of your day/night everyone, may the LORD bless you all, and farewell!.,,, ,,,,.. ,,,,, ,..,,,,..,,..
It helps you all. Checkity check it out.
Thank you so much Aaron! Love this type of content 🙌🏻💚❤️
@@1CT1 the two narcissists and psychopath I met were Christians. One I met at church. I’ll never step foot in a church again.
The universe brought me here
The “coincidence” of me recently looking into abandonment issues then Aaron posts this video and i see it on my youtube feed i definitely get your comment about the universe bringing us here.
Exactly
me too
God brought me here❤
x 2
My dad died by suicide when I was 6 years old and I have been a chronic people pleaser up until recently when I began to spiritually awaken. I always felt as if my bottom three chakras were blocked but my heart chakra, third eye, and crown were open and balanced! I have also dated depressed and even suicidal partners.. my dad's dad was depressed and emotionally unavailable to him..it really is a pattern, and I will break it.
Much love to you. We have such heavy ancestral wounds to clear. 🙏
So proud of you! Cheering you on from afar! You will do this! You got this!
Olivia,,you are so brave! As a medium I get at least 2 suicides or overdoses per week, My brother also took his life. I know the impact. Like Aaron said patterns are passed down ancestral lines but it's not your fault. You have the right idea of how to break it. Do a lot of grounding, tree meditations etc. and I did a lot of subconscious reprogramming including daily affirmations and I made myself sleep programs too. Being a medium your comment caught my eye. I hope my comment is OK
You've got this💕😇🤗
You can do this!!❤❤
I started crying when you said " It's not your fault " I felt like a weight was lifted off of me. I grew up in a broken home. In adulthood, I was in an abusive marriage and got a divorce after having a child. I need to learn to heal my abandonment wounds, so that I can help my child one day if they ever feel this way. Thank you for making this video 💕
Watch Lisa Romano UA-cam. She will change your life.
I feel you
Oh my God, me too, started crying! Not my fault....
Me too!
I did as well… it was so emotional to hear someone else say this with so much confidence.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.porass. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this
Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is dr.porass.
I am a retired counsellor. What you are doing here, is summing up in ten minutes what I spent a working life helping people to work out. There are SO many people who feel they are less than all because of things which occurred when they were children. It really is so very sad. I|t is also very frightening to see the carnage resulting of these internalalised difficulties.
I had these issues myself and for the longest time had to work through them. Absent and unavailable passive agressive parents. People need a lot of support and education BEFORE they even think of having children.
100% agree. Having kids should never come before the individual has themselves healed the generational trauma which has been passed on. Else society will continue growing in that direction. If everyone started doing this type of work we'd be living in a much better world.
Agree on all on accounts
@@JamieR Absolutely!
How did you you overcome these issues?
How much of this reality can be attributed to the by product of the divide and conquer/economic competition that seems to forever be the precedence of any given society? I.e. material value over spiritual value for a given society (dominator culture).
Stop abandoning YOURSELF -
I need this TODAY. Thank you so much, Aaron.
Accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and you will be saved. John 3:16 (Share the good news of the gospel around the world!)...... ,,..
Have a wonderful rest of your day/night everyone, may the LORD bless you all, and farewell!.,,, ,,,,.. ,,,,, ,..,,,,..,,,,
Layla i know you didn't ask but i think you're beautiful ☺️💜
He's right
How i helped myself was by the idea of if my parents couldn't or didnt want to give me something ie love, care, appreciation, hug, kind words... It's because they're human beings themselves but i can love myself and give my inner child whatever I need now.
@@jolaola1987 working on this too. Thank you
Your worthy
This video made me cry. I'm nearly 50 and I realize I've done this my whole life. This is where every single problem I have stems from. Everything else is a symptom from my abandonment issues.
I couldn’t understand why I had abandonment wounds. No one really ever abandoned me physically. But watching this video, I realized I’ve constantly been abandoned emotionally all my life. Thank you for this.
Another name for it is Childhood emotional neglect.
The feeling of having your perspectives and emotions constantly dismissed or being gaslit, manipulated, etc is an epidemic in our society. Pretty much everyone I can think of suffers from emotional malnourishment.
I cried when you said that it's not my fault. I feel that when people find out that I'm defective or if I did something wrong, they'll abandon me. I've never had someone said to me that it wasn't my fault. Thank you, Aaron.
I felt the same and cried when he said this 😢 it's like finally realising the truth.. sending love and light your way ❤️✨️
❤ to you both!
Me too
This video made me cry so many times
Yes, I feel that all the time. That when people get to know me, and see the broken me they would leave. It's abandonment wound and yes, it's not my fault. It's something happened, I didn't cause it or wasn't the reason it happened. Love to you all
“You are worthy for just being you.” - Aaron.
So true, you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone💚
This is the TRUTH!
Accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and you will be saved. John 3:16 (Share the good news of the gospel around the world!)...... ,,..
Have a wonderful rest of your day/night everyone, may the LORD bless you all, and farewell!.,,, ,,,,.. ,,,,, ,..,,,,..,..
I am watching this and started shedding tears...You described me to the point. I became emotionally unavailable woman to protect myself from getting hurt. It is a vicious cycle. I am trying to work on myself and move toward the secure attachment. I always struggled with selfesteem most of my life.
@@AgntBlueEye hey friend💚
Best bloody line ever to hit us all 😍
Man I'll just say this might have been the best thing my therapist ever told me. I broke down and ugly cried the whole rest of the next few sessions but I'm healing those wounds. Don't be afraid to get therapy men. It can change your life.
I'm happy you are healing. It's awful that men are conditioned or that they look at each other as they are supposed to suck it up ( some men) etc...as a stereotype, yet we are all human.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I hope my ex gets therapy. He tries to hold so much in, but it negatively affects a lot of his life... he's avoidant and too self-reliant, even when he doesn't have to be. I wish that he's able to heal.
I'm trying to heal too -- I have abandonment issues. This video was helpful.
God bless you brother. I couldn't be more happy for you. Keep on your journey. We're all gonna make it. I'm proud of you, man.
As a daughter of narcissistic parents, I’m so grateful for your video, and for your eyes looking into ours when you say it’s not our fault. Thank you!
Same
The stop abandoning the self part is perfect. I realized I was getting massive anxiety from hanging out with people due to feeling like I’m not being entertaining enough to them. Actually, there’s no reason why I need to be entirely focused on keeping other people happy if we’re spending time together. I’m within my rights to do what I want to do.
Some may be hanging out with you just to be entertained... but that is not your responsibility. You are worthy of companionship and attention without having to be or give anything in return. I mean, you are worthy of companionship even if you aren't the entertainer 24/7.
@@guesswho5790 thanks, its good to hear
Of course~🙏👍💜
Oh my goodness, I do this!!!
omg thank you for sharing your comment! i didnt know i also do this! and its exhausting trying to keep people entertained or happy, I didnt realise this was because of this issue.
This is EXACTLY what I needed. It was NOT my fault that I was born a girl, that my Father left me, that my Grandfather taught my brothers to hurt me. It is NOT MY FAULT!!!
It's definitely not you're fault girl.... (I can relate to you so much on this)
IT WASN'T OUR FAULT!
That’s awful. I once had an adult around me that encouraged the other children to bully me. Messed me up bad.
❤️🙏❤️
That s right, it's not your fault, it has nothing to do with you,
Blessings to you
You can explain to traumatized ppl all day long that "it's not your fault" but until they can receive the message in their emotions it won't mean anything to them.
IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT ♥️♥️♥️♥️
IT NEVER WAS,
AND YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED xxxx
Stop abandoning yourself
It's not your fault
💛🕊️
Accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and you will be saved. John 3:16 (Share the good news of the gospel around the world!)...... ,,..
Have a wonderful rest of your day/night everyone, may the LORD bless you all, and farewell!.,,, ,,,,.. ,,,,, ,..,,,,..,,.
It’s not your fault
It's not my fault. It's not my fault.
🕊🤍🦋
@@1CT1 Sadly religion does not address of solve the issues of severe childhood trauma, they were a bit clueless about these things 2000 years ago.
Being raised Christian, I thought God was punishing me when he took my parents before I was 10. Thank you Aaron for making me see that I am worthy 🙏🏿❤️
Yes you are worthy! 🙂
So sorry for your loss. Very sad. Warm hugs
Sorry brother. God loves all and you are loved at all times, remember that.
Oh my God so you just discovered you're worthy !!!! Let tell you something ok you're more than enough , whole , worthy , complete and priceless ok.......never beg or seek attention from people who don't see your worth and value !!!! Yourself worth doesn't decrease base on someone else's inability to see your worth !!!! I wish you well and take good care of yourself !!! Know your worth and increase your value
God wasn’t punishing you. He just wanted your parents at that time, that is all. He will want you too at some time, me too. He will want everyone at some time. When you were 10, he just wanted your parents then. It’s not about you. But obviously you missed your parents etc, that’s understandable. Plus it’s still hard but just know it wasn’t about you 💜
My family was moving to a new house. I came home from school and the house was empty except for our dog. I panicked and then I remembered we were moving. The dog was so glad to see me. I sat on the front porch holding her waiting for my parents. They were moving everything into the new house and forgot to meet me after school
💔🙏
I can imagine how scary that must have felt, I hope you at least got an apology from them.
You people have such cute "traumas" if this is it
I’m so sorry! I know how that made you feel
It's funny, I had a bit of a spiritual awakening last May after the girl I liked left me out of nowhere (twin flame, runner/chaser blah blah) and this was the EXACT phrase that came to me while I stood sobbing in the work car park and when I got home. I wrote down everything that I could remember happening to me in my childhood and teens that I thought had affected me and underscored it with IT WASN'T MY FAULT.
That outpour of emotion and crying I had as I wrote that came back when you said it on this video. 19 months later. I'm 35 now and finally decided to reconnect with my authentic self, rather than half-assing it and letting my abandonment issues dictate me.
Same thing regarding a confusing love interest happened to me over the last 9-months, and it too has evoked this great need to cleanse this history of abandonment insecurity from myself. It hurts to feel so raw about "girls" as a middle-aged man, and yet it isn't going to get healthier unless I face it and quit running.
@@jmfs3497 Not saying it is, but it could be a "twin flame" situation. I found Kurt at New World Allstar (intentionally cooky name) an incredible help through it all and still to this day. There's a whole load of guff online about twin flames, but Kurt is the best I found at helping to understand what it's really all about. Helped me immensely.
@@mrface19 Ah ok. Thanks. I will look up that term and Kurt's stuff. I started EMDR recently, too.
My parents divorced when I was 10 and my mum said to me one day, 'if you hadn't of been so difficult me and your father might of still been together'.
I was a straight A student that literally never got into trouble.
Her words gave me a mindset that still affects me today. I'm nearly 40 and i tend to blame myself for everything.
😢😢😢🤗🤗🤗 praying for you. Your mother was absolutely wrong for saying that.
Wow! My mother said the exact same thing to me. Maybe they couldn't accept that their spouse was leaving because of them and they needed someone else to blame. Sending you light and love!
That must have hurt a lot and it seems like it’s still hurts. I hope it hurts less and less and I hope you have peace.
So wrong of your mom to say that..she apparently had her own issues and wrongfully put that on you.
she is a monster
I literally just recently had the realization that when I'm terrified of abandonment, I abandon myself... and it has created a whole new way of how I view and handle it, it has changed everything! Thank you for this video!
Hi thanks for sharing this can you tell me what you mean by this or what this looks like for you? Because i'm wondering if I do this as well
@@dianeibsen5994 I realized I was doing this in my recent and only serious relationship that ended a week ago. Basically when you people please or are codependent, you are afraid of losing your partner and give up your own needs and wants in order to keep them around. In doing so, you end up being the person who abandoned your own needs and wants. I abandoned myself trying to keep my partner from abandoning me.
@@partykrew666 I appreciate you sharing this. Gosh, you must be pretty young if that was your first relationship? Do you think realizing that you do this, Abandon Your self, you'll be different and not abandon yourself? What would that look like for you if so?
If you die tonight, do you know where you're going? Did you know that Jesus Christ is THE only way to Heaven and He loves you?
Through Him, God offers you a FREE gift - forgiveness. All you need to do is repent, turn away from your sins and evil ways,
from now on put your faith completely in Jesus Christ and be obedient to Him.
Biblical explanation of the Gospel:
God doesn’t want anybody in hell because He loves us, but you must understand why
we deserve hell and why those who refuse to live under His authority will go
there. (Matthew 12:30) ''Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not
gather with me scatters.'' He gave us the law (Ten Commandments) not to make us righteous, but
rather to show us our sin (Romans 3:20). God gave us free will and since Adam
sinned in the garden, sin is the nature of our flesh and we ALL have sinned. (Romans 3:23)
The law demands death to those who sin (Romans 6:23).
Revelation 21:8 says that all liars will go to hell.
For someone to be justified before holy God they have to be sinless, that's why everyone need Jesus Christ - for He lived a sinless life and resurrected.
None of us are good in God’s eyes, because for God good means moral perfection. We all
have broken God’s commandments, we all have sinned in our lives so none of us
are good. ‘’For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is
guilty of breaking all of it.’’ (James 2:10). Our carnal mind is hostile to God; it does not submit
to God's moral law and it never will (Romans 8:7). We hate the thought of God for the same reason a criminal
hates a policeman - we know we have sinned against God and are guilty of it, but we don't want to be damned.
Good News is that Jesus Christ lived a perfect, holy, sinless life, Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures,
He was buried and He was raised from the dead on the third day according to the Scriptures (1 Corinthians 15:3-4)
For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever
believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.’’ (John 3:16)
We aren’t saved based on our good deeds/works, but only by the grace of God through faith.
''For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God -
not by works, so that no one can boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9)
Jesus said ‘’it is finished’’ (John 19:30) just before He died on the cross, which means He paid the fine for our sins
(past, present, future) to be forgiven if we repent and trust in Him.
''What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? Certainly not!'' (Romans 6:15)
''Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out'' (Acts 3:19)
Repentance is a turning away from sin and all evil works, and it always results in changed behavior (Luke 3:8).
Biblically, a person who repents does not continue willfully in sin.
While sorrow from sin is not equivalent to repentance, it is certainly an element of scriptural repentance (2 Corinthians 7:10).
Do not play a hypocrite. ''God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all.
If we claim to have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth.'' (1 John 1:5-6)
If you have repented and have genuine faith in Jesus Christ then you will receive the gift of Holy Spirit and be born-again spiritually.
(John 3:3) Jesus replied, "Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again."
When you believed, you were marked in Him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance
until the redemption of those who are God’s possession - to the praise of His glory. (Ephesians 1:13-14)
You are born again with the Spirit of Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17).
Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him. (John 3:36)
''You will know them by their fruits'' (Matthew 7)
If you have been truly born-again with the Holy Spirit and He has regenerated your heart, you will desire righteousnes -
to do what is good and righteous in God's eyes, to seek God everyday in His Word and prayer, to strengthen your relationship with God.
You will no longer desire to willfully continue living in sin but will want to obey God out of your love for Him because of His amazing grace
revealed to us through the death and resurrection of His Son.
''Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.'' (2 Corinthians 5:17)
''For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.'' (Eph 2:10)
You will have a testimony - of what your life had been before and how has it changed now when you have surrendered it to Lord Jesus Christ.
As a declaration and affirmation of your faith in Jesus Christ, get baptised in water because He commanded us to do so.
In John 3:5 Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit.''
''Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit'' (Matthew 28:19)
''Those who accepted his message were baptized, and about three thousand were added to their number that day.'' (Acts 2:41)
''And this water symbolizes the baptism that now saves you also - not the removal of dirt from the body,
but the pledge of a clear conscience toward God - through the resurrection of Jesus Christ,'' (1 Peter 3:21)
''We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that,
just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.'' (Romans 6:4)
''Having been buried with him in baptism, in which you were also raised with him through your faith in the working of God,
who raised him from the dead.'' (Colossians 2:12)
Please get right with God and start your relationship with Jesus Christ today before it’s too late, because there’s not much time left!
"But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.’’ (Mark 13:32)
Get to know Christ through God's Word - Bible. At first I recommend reading Gospel of John and book of Romans. God bless you!
Jeremiah 29:13 - ''You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.''
@@dianeibsen5994 Hello Diane.
About the mistake the person above your comment said he/she made: I just did it too in my last relationship that ended 1 month ago. And i also did it in the relationship before that too. I didn’t realise I was behaving like that, giving up my own needs just to prevent loosing a person. And we’re talking about a person that didn’t even deserved my love, because of her actions, lies and lack of moral values that I won’t go through right now. But I think when we have abandonment issues, often a result of the way we were raised, and we’re used to being abandoned as a child.. now as an adult in our romantic relationships we don’t even realise we’re doing it. We’re just afraid of being left all alone again, and we’ll even do big romantic gestures, often in a too early stage of the relationship, in order to “secure” the person. That’s not healthy, and people are not stupid (even the bad ones that don’t deserve your love) and they start noticing that something’s wrong. They start thinking “there’s something strange with this person, I’m not even giving that much, and they’re giving and giving. And i didn’t do much to deserve that yet. They’re giving me this unearned level of effort and I t’s too early. So maybe they don’t love themselves enough and are just trying to fulfill a relationship shaped hole in they’re life and are needing a relationship to plug up some gaps in their self esteem, and have turned me into an idealised version of myself. And they’re turning me into the source of they’re whole world while trying to fix something that they feel it’s broken inside them”. And people can freak out and start to pull away from you.
I did that. I didn’t look at her wrong behaviours. I was so into her before she even had a chance to show me who she was. And i realise now that I would never be with a person like that if I was stable enough. But I wasn’t. I also realised I seem to only attract to my romantic life problematic people! Maybe because I’m vibrating low energy, idk.
So I (and I guess you and the person above too) need to work on myself in order to avoid this kind of mistakes again, cause we’re the ones left to suffer in the end.
Sorry for the long response.
Best regards
Mental abuse - because I required and requested hugs, and my mother literally refused and rejected me and my being, my soul, from the age of 8 or 9 on. She was never a hugger. Not even when I was 2 yrs old. She hadn't hugged or safely touched me since then. She would get highly irritated and was verbally abusive when I asked for or tried to hug her, even as a toddler. My heart, mind, soul, and spirit was guilted, shamed , and humiliated by her. No matter what I did, my feelings didn't matter. My needs didn't matter. No matter what I said, screamed, cried, ran away, stood on my head, didn't eat, asked, prayed, or did or said anything, she refused to hug me. I was not safe touched/hugged from toddler age on by my own mother whose job & responsibility was to feed me self love and acceptance and fondness.
I understand this completely. I was given up at 3 1/2 years old. Adopted when was 4 41/2yrs to a Mom who to this day never hugged or said she loves me!!! I am 65 years old!!!
Oh my, I'm crying so so much right now, I think I haven't cried like this for years! I just broke up with my boyfriend, a very toxic relationship, and then I'm feeling not appreciated, one more time in my life, and talking about me now, I used to live life devaluing what I've always felt inside, talking to myself " I'm exaggerating my feelings, my parents never divorced, they gave me food and a house and hey would compliment me here and there so I must be just augmentin the whole situation, NAH... I WAS NOT REJECTED! They love me! Of course!!! " . And then I stopped and listen to my own head like "girl, you know that relationship with your boyfriend is very bad and many bad things happened, heavy stuff, and you still kept getting back to him all the time. YOU DEFINITELY NEED TO REALIZE THAT SOMETHING IS BROKEN IN YOU! WAKE UP! YOU DO FEEL REJECT CAUSE YOU WERE INDEED REJECTED BY YOURS PARENTS, BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF, IT'S OKAY!!!!!! YOU'RE NOT GUILTY FOR FEELING LIKE THIS!!! YOUR PARENTS REALLY DIDN'T PAY THAT MUCH ATTENTION TO YOU GIRL, THATS WHY YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE WRONG AND YOU'RE A PIECE OF GARBAGE, CAUSE YOUR PARENTS REALLY DID YOU BAD AND DIDN'T APPRECIATE YOUFOR WHO YOU ARE AS A LITTLE GIRL!!!!"
I can't stop crying cause I fucking realized something that I always knew for so long but just now with 28 years old feeling completely abandoned and devalued, having suffered abuse from so many people that said were my friends, JUST NOW I REALLY NOTICED THE TRUTH! IT WAS LIKE I WAS LYING TO MYSELF THIS WHOLE TIME TO PROTECT MYSELF AND NOW I JUSY LET GO AND CRIED SO SO SO MUCH!!!
Dude in the video, now that you're saying "IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!!!" It's like I just can't believe his words, like, I feel in my guts that it is my fault no matter what, cause I learned this feeling since very young and i can remember it!!!! Many friends of mine would say "omg Ingrid, you're so pretty, so intelligent, why are you still with this guy? He's disgusting!!! Leave him! You deserve someone way better" I just couldn't ever believe I would ever find someone better cause to help with all the situation, I've felt rejected by many many guys when I was a teen, so I was always wondering "what the fuck is wrong with me??? Why can't I be loved??? Why they just use me and then leave??? What is wrong with me? I'm trying me best to be a good person, I'm gentle, I'm funny, I'm smart, why don't they love me?? Why only the guys that I don't want like me and not the ones I actually like???" , and that strong feeling follows me to this day! Like, I tried so so much to protect myself but every time I spoke to myself it hurt so so bad cause at the same time I was deffending myself from toxic behaviour from my parents, I would feel so so so guilty for camplaining, I was was the wrong person for complaying so much with parents that "did everything for me, cause they love me so much". NO!!!! If you're reading this, a rejection is not only when parents divorce when you're a kid, It's not just when they beat you up, IT'S ALSO WHEN THEY DIDN'T VALUE WHAT WAS IMPORTANT TO YOU!
Do you know that drawing you did when you were young and you loved drawing and you were so so happy that you could draw something and then went to your dad and showed it to him so happy to share that with the most important person in the world for you, and then your dad didn't even care?????? THATS REJECTION! I JUST GET EVERYTHING NOW!!!!!
Even if your dad gave you food, gave you a house, presents as a kid, or hugs, it doesn't mean you were valued, truly valued for who you are!!!!! That's what I just understood!!!!! That's why it is so so so important to support your child and say they did a good job, no matter what it is, and even if you don't care at all for what that kid is presenting you so proud of themselves, it's your OBLIGATION AS A PARENT TO SUPPORT AND CHEER THAT CHILDREN, CAUSE THIS IS GOING TO IMPACT THEIR WHOLE LIFE WHN THEY GROW UP!!! I just got everything now!!!!
I can remember myself thinking of me as a very dumb girl, and you know why I felt like that? Cause my dad didn't have the patience to do homework with me and when I eas slow to understand something he would get fucking angry at me saying "WHAT IS YOU NOT UNDERSTAND!!!!! I'M EXPLAINING IT TO YOU!!!!" and then just stopping teaching you the lesson, oh man, I understand now why I always feel like I'm dumb, so so dumb, when actually everyone tells me I'm very smart, no matter what, I FEEL SO SO SO DUMB, CAUSE MY PARENT TEACHED ME I'M DUMB, DO YOU GET IT?????? Omg, I can't stop crying and I didn't even finished the video! I believe so so much everything was my fault and that I not worth being loved that I just can't believe what the guy is saying in the video, like, "IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!".
Oh man, I did therapy for so many years and just now I'm realizing how much affected I was AND I STILL AM BECAUSE OF MY PARENTS! it's like a thing that very very deep and rooted in yourself and it becomes a part of you, and now to replace that feeling it will take a looong long time and a lot of exercise, but somehow i can listen to my instincts and they are saying that this is the beginning of my cure!!!!! I might be left by my family not only mom and dad but my relatives, cause I'm like the black sheep of the family, all of them are hard cristians and I'm not since I was 20 years old, and they keepy telling me that "ONE DAY I'LL COME BACK TO MY PLACE (which is the church and their religion hahahaha)"
I feel not part of my family AT ALL!!!! AND I FEEL UNDERAPPRECIATED FROM MY PARENTS A LOT!!!!! I felt this today even when I showed my mom a video of myself singing at a nightclub cause everyone there was loving my voice and me singing and they were cheering for me and hugging me and saying "you're awesome!", and then when I showed it to my mom she was not interested, cause she said I'm enjoying being happy with people that don't love God and that they're full of evil and demons and that I need to go back to church, I FELT EXACTLY AS I WOULD FEEL AS A KID WHEN AT SCHOOL WE WOULD PRESENT A CHOREOGRAPHY AND I WAS SOOOO INTO IT AND I WAS SO HAPPY TO SHOW IT TO MY MOM SO SHE COULD BE PROUD OF ME BUT SHE NEVER CAME TO THE PRESENTATION! Man, It's like, the things that are more important to me don't grab my parents attention and they always have something bad to say about it, not a compliment, just "You need to use your gift (singing) at the church cause God gave you that gift and now you're out there in the world singing songs that are not to the Lord" and that makes me feel so devalued, like, for real man... I'm sorry for typing all of this but It's such a cathartic moment in my life, big BIG PATTERNS ARE BREAKING INSIDE MYSELF NOW AND IT'S DEEEEP, BUT NOW IT REALY GOT TO MY FEELINGS! It's as if I had a big thorn removed from my chest that had been there for years and years and had already healed, ingrown and hurting all the time. That's why I'm crying do much and typing all of this. Omg, now I need to finish the video
I needed this so much right now. Last weekend my mother told me that the fact that I was homeless as a kid… was all my fault. I was on my own when I was 14. I’m 29 now and that still had me in bed crying for DAYS.
It’s not my fault.
And whatever y’all went through? It’s not yours either.
❤️ somewhat similar experiences
Sending you love & hugs 💕 You’re not alone
Your mom may well be a Narcissist. They are very good at projecting blame and gaslighting....trying to convince others that that what true is not true, and in your case...what's not true is true. I'm glad you're part of tribe because Narcissist, especially a parent, can really make you question yourself. It's to deflect blame/ responsibility from themselves. It really isn't your fault, my dear. 💓
I am som sorry you carried that burden! She has her own mental issues. Take care of your own beautiful soul now❤❤💕
What a nasty woman. Of course it wasn’t your fault.
"We attract people we are familiar with."
Currently unlearning the negative conditioning and belief that I've been living with my whole life. Thank you Aaron!
@J ... Yoda quote to young Luke Skywalker, "You must unlearn, what you have learned."
Can you please give me some tips on how to do that? I'm trying hard to be myself. I still have problems. I still can't make friends because I get so insecure and scared that they don't like me. I'm looking back at my behaviour and being mindful of when I become fake so I can stop it. How are you dealing with it? I really want to know if I'm making progress or if this isn't enough.
@@p__07 If you're scared that they won't like you, then you're looking at the wrong people. I have an introverted friend (I'm an introvert too but evolved type lol) that she gets too anxious whenever she does something in public, so I told her so what if they look? It's just a passing attention, who are you anyway to think that people are going to think of what you're doing? You're not a celebrity, so what if they judge? It's not always about you when people react. You're anxious but at the same time egoistic, so just do your thing especially if it makes you happy.
@@p__07 Maybe you should try making friends with people who has the same interests as you. For me, I'm a creative and I share my work on insta or here and people who see my work are the ones usually asking to to do something creative with me. Do what you love and do what makes you happy , everything will follow. It has never been so true to me recently.
@@p__07 Being fake requires 10 times of energy. If you're just yourself, it's effortless you don't have to seek connection, it will come to you. Whenever I feel like I would have to pretend to like something, I already get tired, ugh. Nothing is more powerful and attractive than choosing what you want and being genuine to yourself. If you're not in my genuine with yourself, how can you be genuine to others?
This video is literally everything what my therapist told me an hour ago
Hearing that it's not my fault feels so liberating
I cried … to heal the abandonment wound , stop abandoning ourselves. This is it !!! Thank you 🙏
It is not your fault🤍🧿 Peace and love💗🧿
I'm going to stop abandoning myself it starts TODAY !! thank God for you Aaron 🙏 making this known
same
This video healed me for free! I spent 40$ for 30 minutes of therapy just to hear crap. Thank you to the moon and back.
Yup! That’s how I felt when I kept trying therapy too
Therapists have a script. They are more interested in earning their money and keep you there talking.
With the information available today we can access google or youtube and get our own therapy. We just need to come across of what is really happening to us, not a mental health professional telling us we have depression, anxiety, borderline, bipolar, adhd, addiction. They are more concerned in put you in a box than anything.
Pete Walker wrote that if mental health professionals acknowledged the impact of childhood trauma/neglect and dysfunctional families as the main cause of mental issues the DSM would be resumed to the size of a pamphlet.
That's not how therapy works, it's a work in progress you don't just go to one session and are magically healed
@@abbiealverez2960 Correct you go to 25674 sessions and you still make zero gains.
I spend thousands to hear crap. Consider yourself lucky.
Thank you for posting this. I'm convinced God put this on my timeline because I needed to hear it. I was struggling so much from the bullying and abuse I endured the last few years, and everyone kept telling me it was my own fault and I brought it on... thank you for that blunt, cutting reminder that it was NOT my fault, and I am not responsible for evil people's actions 🙏
It's not my fault! It's not your fault! Thank you so much!!!! Stop abandoning Yourself! You got this babe! ❤
It’s not your fault! Stop abandoning yourself and instead start loving and nourishing yourself. 💕🦋
I was thrown out of my house at 10 yrs old, after my mother's bf molested me. Fear of abandonment is still huge and I've been working on it since I was 23. I'm finally starting to get it. I needed this so bad today!
It was not your fault🤍🤍🤍🧿 Peace and love🤍🤍🤍🧿
You're a gift to this world. Remember that ❤️
I am so sorry. You did nothing wrong. You had shitty people in your life that failed to keep you safe and give you the love you deserve. Massive blessings honey lots of healing on sexual trauma and abandonment is sooo helpful for our mind, body and soul❤️
Glad you are on the path to healing ! You are Beautiful, Valuable, Worthy, Forgive them to release yourself and be free!
💓
I’ve been dealing with grieving over my childhood a LOT recently. This hits the nail on the hand. They never abandoned me physically, but in some ways they did, depending on the situation. I had to grow up way too fast, and just today, I don’t think I’ve EVER cried this hard and this much in my entire life. Like, I could’ve filled up a gallon bucket. They divorced and I was so split up between my parents I don’t even remember what being an actual child was like. I miss it so freaking badly and I’m hurting a lot. This is the perfect video for this. I’ve felt everything you’ve listed. Thank you.
" It's not your fault". Powerful. The first time I heard this, I actually understood it and believed it at my core.
Wish I heard this 20 years ago.
I hope humans in their 20's hear this, no matter how life is treating you.
This is so powerful. A person who suffered from guilt and shame due to parents' negligence and emotional unavailability could understand this in like seconds. Many people are just biological parents. It sucks to be their child and experience the consequences of their lack of self love and awareness.
I started crying so bad when you said "it's not your fault". Thank you for opening something in me!
haha, same!
I think its because no one has ever said that. Usually they are saying it IS my fault.
Yep!...
I IMMEDIATELY went to that scene in Good Will Hunting.
This heartfelt message is the EPITOME of Powerful/Profound & Emotional!
Thank you Brother Aaron! 💜
It’s not my fault nor is it yours. Be free and enjoy your freedom of self. Get aligned with u, for u…you deserve it✨
This man just explained my whole life. I even did it with lovers, I always played the savior because it was like I’m working so hard so they see I’m special and worthy of love. Crazy, this whole time I’ve been the most worthy 😭😭😭😭😭
As soon as you said "it's not your fault" I just started sobbing, because I've always felt like it was. Thank you for repeatedly saying this to drive it home. Gonna put this on my favorites. God bless you 🙏
same here, i have tears in my eyes rn
Me too
Me too!!!!!! But, hubby's here and I couldn't let it out, cuz he'll ask and open up that can of worms right now that he probably doesn't want to.
@@V.W.222 I know all about that 🙄
@@V.W.222 you are only as close as you are vulnarable. We are usually scared to open up but so much happier after we do. The fears we had almost always turn out to be unfounded. Especially is when you open up to your loved one you begin with "I've always wanted to share this with you but I feel so "-put in your feeling- and I'm so worried about the reaction will make me feel "-fill in your feeling here-.
Almost always a loved one will respond with reassuring you that you can share without worry. Good luck. Only love. Here is a hug. You deserve it for what you've been through.
“Stop abandoning self” . So simple yet so damn profound! I stumbled onto this video at the perfect time on a much needed day. 💜🙏🏾
This video hit home with me. I cried. It's not my fault that I was abandoned.
It's not my fault . Your getting me through my kids first visit with their father across the country. Thank you from my the core of my soul
"stop abandoning the self". Agreed. The second I began to do that, my life started to finally fall into place and make sense. Thank you for informing and validating this point.
There is a lot of truth in this video. My parents divorced when I was six. My mom left and never came back...no letters, no cards, just moved on and left me to be raised by a violent alcoholic. I constantly am doing for others, getting little care in return, for fear of losing the little I have. This makes me want to find my way so I can be who I really am without fear. There must be freedom in that. Going to try. Thanks for the video.
i believe in you. you can do it!
You can do it, Tammy!! I'm so sorry you went through this, it rips one's heart in two...and not just once. Over and over again.
I'm sending you BIG hugs this morning as I've spent time in bed crying my heart out. That longing for a parent that cares, even at 42, is real.
You are an amazing human being to have survived what happened to you!!!! You can do anything you put your mind to! ❤❤❤
That really sounds hard. I wish you all the best finding your way through it and I think it can be done. Aaron mentioned 'shadow integration' in the video and I left a long post in response on how I've been doing this using Phil Stutz and Barry Michels' book 'The Tools.' You might find something to help you there too. Good luck and best wishes.
I just can't imagine what you've been through when a kid! I feel so sorry for you! Nobody deserves this! You never deserved this! I wish I could be there to take care of and protect you from your abusive dad! You deserve love!!! ❤❤❤
I’ve watched some of your videos so many times and it helps me every single time. I have no words to explain how you’re transforming my life from my abandonment issues as a teenager to my recent breakup. Thank you so much…
I’m dumbfounded right now. I’m 56, well educated, have had decades of therapy and have made a lot of progress on my spiritual journey by doing shadow work, but there was always one area that I just couldn’t seem to clear up, and right now I slipped back into a depression about it, which I haven’t done in a long time. I was brought to this video and I just had a huge moment of clarity about my abandonment issues, my father rejecting me, and the types of men I have been involved with. I’ve worked on this before and thought I understood it but you supplied another piece of the puzzle. Wow, thank you for this. You’ve done what all the years of therapy didn’t do. I can’t thank you enough!
*It’s Not Your Fault *
I have ALWAYS felt there’s something truly wrong with me. This video shook 25 years of feelings out… wow
The combination of hearing it’s not your fault repeatedly along with the way you say it with such conviction is so cathartic as the listener! Thank you for this!
ITS NOT YOUR FAULT!
Wow, I was guided by my spiritual team to find this video this morning and the moment you said "it is not your fault" I burst into tears. This is the most powerful thing I've heard in a long time. Thank you 🙏✨ I will be sharing this with my sister because we both need this. Time to release those limiting beliefs and shine like I know I can.
Thank you Aaron 💕💖
This hit home, especially the part about relationships with unemotionally available people. I didn't even know why this was happening. All I can say is WOW
I love how Aaron tells me "its not my fault" thanks Aaron!
yes it feels so good i agree :) and i dont even know him personally. its fascinating
@@griesburner yea it is ay! Quite powerful.
I stopped pleasing people, and all the rest, but I still think I fear having zero validation, coz I deserve a good life
Thank you, I have manifested that version of me 😊
Get afraid then get brave.
@@pointsbeingmade7996 yay, yes
"It's not your fault!" A thousand thank yous my friend! 🙏🏻🥰
This was so incredibly helpful and exactly what I needed! 💗
The way you repeatedly deliver, "It's not your fault!". I love that you lingered on this driving to it home. People with these issues need to hear this over and over, even saying it to themselves to help reprogram bad mental conditioning. Wonderful video.
Yes, my narc mom blamed me for everything. Thank you for repeating “it’s not your fault” that brought me to much needed tears.
My mother too
TRUTH!!!!!!PEOPLE of this 🌍!!!!!!
Thank you SO MUCH. Almost crying after watching this. My childhood trauma is related to sexual abuse, and as a grown man, its affecting my relationships, my self esteem, my confidence and way more.
💜🙏💜 It’s a long journey of healing but it IS possible!!! I can’t believe I’m saying that but it’s really true!😊
so much love to you
I'm so sorry you went through that. So many children do. Don't give up. You're on a healing path and talking about it....that takes courage, my friend. 💓
The only thing that will always matter is how you view yourself and not the opinion or views of others. You will heal and grow stronger.
You are worth everything you want! You just have to say it to yourself over and over again.
This man gets it. To anyone else out there with abandonment issues or childhood trauma, watch this video ten times in a row if you have to until it sinks in.
I remember the day this concept clicked for me. 50% of my trauma healing happened right then and there, as I realized I'd been "living small" my whole life due to a trauma wound. I just figured everyone else felt the same way I did and just hid it better. The more I started practicing self compassion, the more empathetic I found myself feeling and acting toward others. That part I did NOT see coming...
It made me as a grown man cry my dad was murdered after he picked me up from school in the first grade and I was looking for my mom to protect me but she was scared and had to flee the state so she left me until I was 15 which made her emotionally and physically unavailable I’m now 38 and sabotage every relationship I’m in this video was a moment of clarity why I have that issue thank you so much
Causes us to move into our intuitive self…when he talked of this, I felt “a hit” that was something I never realized.
Same here...makes so much sense as to why those with trauma in childhood have heightened psychic/empathic tendencies.
I felt like i finally understand why i am like this.
It's NOT your fault, Y'all!! We are on this healing journey together.
Something about you saying, "it's not your fault," was very freeing. Thank you for this 💜
It’s so good to see everybody’s story here. I was abandoned when I was 5, my mothers and my sisters moved to another place and I was left alone with my father who, thank god, was a better parent than my mother in some way, but he also made me feel emotionally abandoned. I grew up as a constant people pleaser and nowadays it’s super hard for me to trust enough to be authentic in a relationship. I‘m going through a dark night of the soul and right now I am re experiencing this immense, immense pain I was put into. Thanks for your words „it’s not your fault“ they made
me cry instantly.
Hey everyone….it’s not your fault. 🙏🏻🙏🏻
We are never alone we have spiritual teams, and good people out there love and light. ✨🐎✨🐎🐎
As Wayne Dyer says : " When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. "
@@waelfaraj6705 I’m tearing up...he was the spark for my awakening when I was entering dark night of the soul. 🙏
Live with joy and ring a bell ,
Go to heaven after watching hell ,
With God you've risen ,
After you tripped and nearly fell ,
You would rise and really swell ,
All is good and truly well ,
Nothing to scare and you can tell ,
Sing for peace and in joy dwell ...
I'd love a spiritual team 💚💚
Just wanted to share my story with you because your video resonated me, and I thank you for that. My life has been an example of everything you mentioned. I'm healing from sexual, physical, and emotional abuse childhood trauma. My father was awful, and my mother blamed me for the abuse, she was also very abusive. BUT IT WAS NOT MY FAULT. ABUSE COMES FROM THEIR INABILITY TO MANAGE THEIR OWN EMOTIONS. Stress reducing aggression is simply one way abusers try to manage their emotions. Along with therapy, I also used Reiki to help heal my abandonment wound. My Reiki practitioner did not know about the sexual abuse I went through- but he said he could see a dark line in my aura cutting off my bottom 2 chakras, while my crown chakra was merged with my higher self so strongly, they had only seen an aura like that once before with someone who had a near death experience. I suffered a traumatic head wound and had a near death experience myself when I was very little. Spending time in my body and releasing all the stress caused physical symptoms as well (Nausea, headaches,etc), It was as if my body was purging all of the negative emotions stored in it. My ancestral linage is filled with anxiety, emotional abandonment, violence, substance abuse, all hidden as best they can from other people. They definitely have their own shit going on. I've learned since then to see my needs as a blessing, instead of a burden. I've managed to meet incredible people in my life. It is their care, time, and presence that have allowed me to get through everything. (but being vulnerable in front of others is a huge fear of mine- so it was one of the hardest things I've ever done but the most rewarding as well) If anyone else out there suffers from a cruel inner critic, and beats themselves up a lot, I would like to recommend the looking into the work done by Sarah Peyton. She's done the neuroscience research to be able to teach others how to grow new neurons and make your brain a kinder, warmer world of self-love and self-support. 🙏❤🩹
Thanks.
I got a lot from this.
Realization that it wasn't your fault is good but not enough. The body still remembers the trauma
STOP ! abandoning yourself 💜 you matter, you are important, you have a voice! I love you 🥰
Stop abandoning yourself!!! So true. I hit 40 when i for the first time started looking after my self. Amazing, thank you 👍
I grew up to my parents being unfaithful to each other. Till this day. They’re still together but they think me and my siblings don’t know what they’ve done,maybe to an extent we don’t but I know I’ve seen those messages, photos. It hurt and it effected my first real relationship and caused her to leave because of my constant jealousy. Thank you Aaron because she’d always tell me as well that it’s not my fault but i need to understand that it really wasn’t and not my fault they do that/this. Now I’m healing.
Mr. Doughty, thank you for being exactly what I need right now. Repeating again and again "It's not your fault" was very useful for me, because the first three-four times you said it, I couldn't receive that. See, this is a strong illusion we, human beings, feel the need to play in front of our eyes: if abandonment hurts and I am to blame, then making sure I will not repeat that behavior would be making sure I will never be abandoned again - which is false. Sadly. It is false. When people abandon themselves, they automatically abandon the others, it doesn't matter how we behave, it's just about their recent behavior, not ours. So, even if I stop my peri-abandonment behavior and make the Blame my guardian - I will still be abandoned. So, not being my fault means to begin to breathe again. I don't have anything to repress, as I am not the cause of my abandonment. So my thorax can relax. My brain can relax, not being held in questions about "What I have done to be abandoned? Stop this! Stop that! Do this! Do that!". Maybe I have a chance and the space inside where my pain would find the words to verbally signal me what usually goes like undefined pain with black PTSD brain. So, thank you, Mr. Doughty. I will meditate about that.
Wow, I'm 55 and I've been carrying this with me the whole time. This made me cry, all the relationship breakups I blamed who I was as a person. Wow!!
"It's not your fault", I feel better just by hearing that. Thank you 💞
What you’re talking about feels so genuine that the intent of why you’re speaking it is overwhelming. Might sound like a load of nonsense but the same people who said they cried when you said it’s not your fault, have told people that but never been told it.❤️
This was really powerful, thank you. The idea that I’m in the habit of abandoning MYSELF just rocked me to the core. I’ve been trying and failing miserably to focus more on self care and this explains why. I had connected that others did not take care of me, so that was not a learned behavior, but the idea that I am self-abandoning takes it to the next level. Can’t wait to check out the app. Thank you Aaron.
It's so tough. It keeps ruining relationships. People get to know you and think you're fun and balanced, then something triggers you to react emotionally/sad that seems out of proportion to well calibrated people. It is a fear reaction but comes across as criticism/or looking for conflict. Let that happen a few too many times and despite explaining, reassuring that this is not your personality but something you are looking to fix, they always end up leaving. It makes sense but doesn't make it hurt any less. Good people walk out because who would do that to themselves. Even when you thinknyou have a handle on it, something always creeps back up and it ends again.
I relate to this so much😔
Yes 💔
My partner left me a week ago, everything just as you described. Id get sad and needy, jealous even though I knew in my mind it was unjustified. For 2 years it was a loving and easy relationship, until my triggers came out and burnt it all to the ground in 8 months. It's still fresh, but she was the love of my life, for that I am certain.
Leaving she said she'd never loved someone or been loved as much and she'd never had a happier relationship.. but, still, my abandonment issues ruined everything.
I'd encourage everyone to watch Good Will Hunting after this, for some serious self-healing. The main character played by Matt Damon goes through this journey from abandonment and emotional unavailability / avoidant attachment, to a level of healing, guided by the character played by Robin Williams. Really important film about trauma.
I had workaholic parents and an already introvert neglected brother. Never had the chance to talk about my feelings or any quality conversation at home and I have always been gaslighted and marked oversensitive when I was upset because of neglect. After all these years of being unable to feel enough and worthy by just being me, I felt anxiety filling me. I start to be myself again after almost 2 years. I realised that I have to change my people pleasing approach for everything. Thanks for making this video, it helped a lot.
Aarron, I have just returned to you and am so proud of how much you are learning on your spirituality, and you bring a face to face honesty bringing your viewers back to Earth❤
I had an aha moment when he said it wasn’t my fault weeks ago i didn’t realize i felt like it was my fault until i cried after he said it so many times thanks Aaron 🌱
💓
Thank you so much, this opened my eyes a lot. My grandma raised me because my parents were both addicts. She was emotionally unavailable and verbally abusive because she had so much on her plate at the time. Even understanding that now as an adult, I've carried so much insecurity and have the need for constant validation because none of the adults in my family could give that to me or my siblings.
I am still figuring out who I am because I always tried to be what I thought other people wanted. I've wasted so much energy and time on selfish people because of my abandonment issues. There are some loving people in this world worth fighting for and we should put ourselves at the top of that list.
We have to give ourselves the love we've fought our whole life for.
I had an alcoholic father, and a disabled mother who became addicted to opioids and died when I was in my early 20s. There had a toxic relationship. My father was physically there but I had no relationship with him, and from an early age I had to fend for myself because my mom just wasn't able to physically care for me. I was always alone, I was rejected, pushed aside, ignored, or just not given availability. Only when I was useful or exceptional I was worth everyone's time. I'm trying to unlearn that people pleasing, self- sacrificing behavior.
Now that I'm grown, I'm grateful that my father has made an effort to change and be a part of my life and his granddaughter's.
For me, and I'm sorry to my future self if I'm over sharing.. but for me.. being abused, not having my mom or dad be emotionally present (neglectful) on top of that me not having any routine care (hair, clothes) I internalized seeing other 2 parent homes, who were supportive building with each other, kids had a relationship with their parents and had clothes, and shoes consistently ... Something was wrong with me because I didn't have that. I feel ashamed because I can't tell my childhood to someone without feeling like I'm trauma dumping or something is wrong with me, unless I know the person is infatuated (not in love) and I feel safe to be myself in that.
Today I am a mother, depressed (post partum and single--no support from father and little from family) I see how hard it was for my mother to support herself, us and be present. I'm working everyday to release and heal to be be present and unfearful of the future of stability and all forms, mostly giving myself and my son what I always wanted... I do feel ashamed. And I hope I'm not doing this to my son now, he's 2 and I know it's not his fault for my depression, me staying in an abusive relationship and my stability currently.
I deserve to heal from that now as well and understand what my parents decided to do with me, around me and for me had nothing to do with me but also if they felt better and resolved they wouldn't have too. So i extend my grace, i extend my compassion to them as I realize they were hurting just as much as I was and inherited it.
Your energy vibe attracts your tribe ...
Your "It's not your fault" over and over again was so powerful. I was abandoned so many times. My sperm donor did horrible things to me and left at the age of 3. My mom met a guy, he was there for 2 years and died in a car accident all while i was supposed to go with and being so mad i couldnt. Then my mom shipped only me to my grandmas house not my siblings so I was so damn confused. I have severe abandonment issues, and it rips me apart everyday.
What horrible things?
Hi how you doing, I hope you are doing great 🥰
Thank you so much, I've been struggling with this all my life. And yes it is generational, passed down through family lines, absolutely. But it can be stopped so it doesn't get passed on to others. It's so important to do this work!
Watch Lisa Romano UA-cam. Shes the best by far when it comes to these topics
You are so sensitive men god bess you, for help so much people!
“It’s Not Your Fault” The title, the video, the breakdown. All of it was perfectly said and well received. This was a game changer for me.
I am the architect of my life, I choose its contents, and I build its foundation. ! I am an infinite being. My potential for success is limitless. Life loves ME
~ Much love from a Law Of Attraction UA-camr💜
After watching this ......I am sure I have been living with the mind of a abandonment wound for my whole life.... I am 68 years old and have never felt completely sure of myself. People have told me that I am excellent at many things but I can’t completely allow myself to believe it. I can’t allow myself to be proud of myself. I’ve lived with a gnawing, underlying, subconscious sadness for all of my life. My step mother hated me and told me so as early as three years old. I’m sure my father loved me because of what older family members have told me. But I don’t remember him ever telling or showing me that he loved me.
Believe me.....I can go on and on with this. But I won’t.
Thank you for bringing this to my attention.
I will give this much attention and discovery for myself.
Thank you......I think this may very well be the answer to my long long search for the answer to : “Where is the happiness”
Thank you so much! I’m a coach and writer and Ive done a lot of trauma and healing work myself and I often write and tell my clients that it’s not their fault, knowing that’s what has helped me. And today I really needed to be reminded of this as I’m moving through current relationship dynamics “It’s not my fault” - this video is so supportive ❤ thank you so much!
This hit me like a ton of bricks. Thank you! It's not my fault that my father left. I had a emotional scar in my heart since I was a child that I thought would never heal. Thank God I've learned to stop blaming and abandoning myself!
Me too my dad left when I was born never felt wanted in my life
Thanks, I needed this. In my case, I’ve always been the black sheep of the family, so I found comfort in friends. But my friends would always somehow leave. They would either move schools or countries, and this happened numerous times with my best friends. I knew it was out of their and my control, but it still sucked. It eventually became a cycle of me making close friends, and then being alone again bc they leave. I understand that it’s none of our faults. But now whenever I have some sort of meaningful relationship with anyone, even if it becomes harmful and no longer beneficial, I still have a hard time letting go. Because I lost so many people or grew apart from them in my life due to circumstances out of my control, that now when I feel like I have a choice or say in doing something about it, I should hold onto anyone I can. It’s not my fault, but I’m tired of this lonely cycle.
My mom and I were very close since I was little, my dad is married n has another family but somehow I’m here, we moved to US 6 years ago leaving behind family and childhood friends, it was very hard for me to adapt and learn a new language, also getting bullied in middle school wasn’t fun at all, i got in hs started making friends again, going out, living the life man; after 5 years my mom decided to move out of state 😀 when I was getting my f life together again, again lonely and depressed.
Now im quiet, I don’t really talk to my mom, trust issues, can’t communicate.
But it’s all good ❤️🩹 everything will be alright.
Thank you Aaron. Hearing "It is not your fault" was bringing me to tears over and over again. Thank you for helping me to move out the stuck emotion.
Hi Aaron. I discovered you and your videos just a few short weeks ago. I've watched many, but this one hit home! This is a familar story! I am a woman in my early 70s, with abandonment issues. Throughout the years, I've been through therapy and did much work on my own. Thank you for addressing this topic. It is a good reminder that it is not the child's fault. I'm so sorry you and your brother had to endure such a monumental issue! I'm glad to see how much you have educated yourself and are now able to help others.
Good lord this hits hard.
5:00 7:20 Biggest chunks of the message. Thank you so much! Subscribed.
When you said they didn't abandon you because you weren't good enough, I broke down in tears. I didn't realize I was holding onto that so tight. Because my brain always says "Maybe I was sent away to live with others because I was a difficult child. But I tried so hard to be a good kid, why wasn't I good enough?"
Thanks a lot for this video. I still struggle with abandonment issues stemming from childhood trauma. It's always great to hear that it's not the child's fault. Much love to everyone out there who are struggling with these problems. Never forget, it's not your fault. Namaste🙏