Dos and Don'ts in a Relationship || KULTURE SHOCK

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  • Опубліковано 28 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 390

  • @mbehnchosynthia9470
    @mbehnchosynthia9470 11 місяців тому +42

    People who don't talk much often speak wisdom when they eventually speak up. The guy in blue shirt keeps dropping great points

  • @damilolaoludare7799
    @damilolaoludare7799 Рік тому +179

    The guy on blue shirt is so good at dropping beautiful points.
    Thanks for this, Zion Kulture.
    God bless you.

  • @amaikwumabel
    @amaikwumabel Рік тому +72

    I'm more than 20years in marriage,I'm really enjoying your discussion.The truth is that all the don'ts should be adhered to by single born again Christians so that in the future you will not have so much things to regret for ungodly actions.For us in our own time,these rules seem too strict to follow,but I tell you the truth that those don'ts have made our relationships what they are in God today.Thanks Jaymike for this broadcast.God bless you and your crew.

  • @Minstrel_Eno_Essien
    @Minstrel_Eno_Essien Рік тому +67

    "Don't do anything that will set you up for compromise" - Wow👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

    • @ifeodugbesan9062
      @ifeodugbesan9062 11 місяців тому

      Romans 13:14 But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.

  • @Zacchaeusoluwasina
    @Zacchaeusoluwasina Рік тому +48

    Another lady should be added to the show o😂😂. We need more of ladies expressing their views to these matters.

    • @justinaesseladdo7284
      @justinaesseladdo7284 11 місяців тому +1

      I agree

    • @IreneKoryoeTetteh
      @IreneKoryoeTetteh 8 місяців тому +2

      She really plays a key role there. She adds so much spices and keeps them in focus so they don't drift from the main topic. It's beautiful ❤️

  • @ajibadeomolola3459
    @ajibadeomolola3459 Рік тому +22

    The devil takes advantage of people who don't constantly renew their mind with God's word
    Thank you Jay Mikeee
    Thank you Zion Culture

  • @Dammie-xn8yt
    @Dammie-xn8yt Рік тому +39

    Once Jaymikee is there just know you'll laugh 😂😂.
    Much love from Ogbomoso 🥰🥰

  • @miracle_aseme
    @miracle_aseme 5 місяців тому +3

    "The faith walk is too important for us to make excuses for everything"

  • @oluwatosinolowookere7046
    @oluwatosinolowookere7046 Рік тому +23

    I wish to meet this guy besides J-mikee, I am really falling in love with the way he laughs. The thing dey give me joyy

  • @nechemiracle6808
    @nechemiracle6808 Рік тому +38

    Don't do anything that will set you up for compromise,
    This is powerful!

  • @patshub4515
    @patshub4515 Рік тому +8

    To Jaymikee question; the lady should go to the Pastor's house. The guy could also go to a fellow guy's house and have her stay in his house

  • @OluwadarasimiOladiran
    @OluwadarasimiOladiran Рік тому +93

    HolySpirit is very important in a relationship. Intentionality and consciousness, especially if you are both in the same city. God help us 🙏

    • @nwosuchinenye37
      @nwosuchinenye37 Рік тому +2

      In the same country without other any other relatives or friends 😅

    • @itshoopieey
      @itshoopieey 11 місяців тому

      ​😊😊😊😊😊@nwosuchinenye37 😊😊

    • @itshoopieey
      @itshoopieey 11 місяців тому

      😊😊

  • @blessingikiriko1880
    @blessingikiriko1880 Рік тому +16

    "Leave space for Jesus"😊. Thanks zion Kulture😊.

  • @preciousomolara3850
    @preciousomolara3850 Рік тому +11

    I love the way Jay mikeee hits the point directly and saying the truth so clearly.

  • @sammyhm9414
    @sammyhm9414 Рік тому +80

    Thank you for such a beautiful discussion ❤ I repent. Actually I was not aware that I have compromised the gospel this much 😢 kai. Thank you once again Jaymikee and the team. I'm picking up my cross again, I will not be front hugging brothers from today.
    Wisdom is profitable to direct🙏. Thank you 😊

  • @salomebulus
    @salomebulus Рік тому +7

    Jaymikee oo😂😂😂 ”What you can’t do in front of her dad” that’s wisdom though!!

  • @blizfoodiezplace
    @blizfoodiezplace Рік тому +47

    Sooooo great..... I think there should be words for people who have been guilty of some of these points and how they can get back to purity (especially those who really want to get back to God)
    Thank You so much

    • @faithgayina9983
      @faithgayina9983 Рік тому +7

      Please watch the latest TrueTalk with TED episode. It touched on exactly that.

    • @toluwanimiajetunmobi5964
      @toluwanimiajetunmobi5964 Рік тому

      ​@@faithgayina9983Exactly! I wanted to suggest same video too

  • @Akogun_Gabriel_
    @Akogun_Gabriel_ Рік тому +7

    All things are lawful but not all are expedient 😌

  • @adelakinjoan2831
    @adelakinjoan2831 Рік тому +20

    People that are far gone and very guilty needs help also, how do we fix this table so they can be redeemed?

    • @faithgayina9983
      @faithgayina9983 Рік тому +3

      Please watch the latest episode of TrueTalk with TED.

    • @adelakinjoan2831
      @adelakinjoan2831 Рік тому

      Oh thanks for the recommendation@@faithgayina9983

  • @FavourEguzozie
    @FavourEguzozie Рік тому +10

    I like what Jaymikee said: " is it wise, profitable and necessary". Great wisdom

  • @GbemisolaOluwasina
    @GbemisolaOluwasina 11 місяців тому +2

    The sarcasm in the 3rd minute is soooo 😂😂😂😂
    Thus conversation reminds me of the movie, Free but costly that featured Sir Doyin Hassan.

  • @FavourBabajamu
    @FavourBabajamu Рік тому +20

    Been waiting for this since. I love how you balanced the takes with asking the Holy Spirit. Let God be your guide. I’m afraid diaspora people don’t follow these rules o😅. Especially cohabitation, they do it to save costs. The guy on blue shirt is very wise, dropping steady gems.

    • @tricia.p2022
      @tricia.p2022 Рік тому +2

      Not all diaspora Christian
      God is God every where
      In every generation there will always be those children of God who will never bow their knees to Baal.

  • @AtamfonWilson
    @AtamfonWilson Рік тому +15

    Loveeeett! ❤❤❤
    Cooler ministry = Ministry of cooler😂😂💔

  • @teekaydvoa1
    @teekaydvoa1 10 днів тому

    Cooler ministry 😂😂😂,thank you so much for sharing guys
    God bless you

  • @chiomafemi
    @chiomafemi Рік тому +11

    Jaymikee you weren't sick o you were just hungry

  • @alabivictoria9390
    @alabivictoria9390 Рік тому +6

    OMG... The guy in blue is so sound

  • @amarachukwubeatrice3293
    @amarachukwubeatrice3293 11 місяців тому +1

    Cooler ministry🤔🤔, i don't still understand ooo. If I'm cooking for you and you pay me nah service i dey render ooo 😅😅😅

  • @tryphenaeffiong7767
    @tryphenaeffiong7767 Рік тому +4

    "Don't give room for what can lead to..."

  • @marvellousodey8874
    @marvellousodey8874 Рік тому +10

    The faith walk is too important to make excuse for ever thing. Word 💯
    God bless you guys too much wisdom
    God bless Zion kulture

  • @shonibareayobamipaul3941
    @shonibareayobamipaul3941 Рік тому +12

    Awesome piece as always, I'll love if you people could talk about the reactions after the public proposal, they reaction is most times a tight hug afterwards also for pre-wedding shoots that looks couples shoot because many Christians take careless pre-wedding shoot as though they are married.

  • @oladoyingreat
    @oladoyingreat Рік тому +4

    I was blushing when Kogi state was mentioned.

  • @nobledeyoungdoc8642
    @nobledeyoungdoc8642 Рік тому +2

    Anty Mary I got your back, I will soon join culture shock so as to make it two ladies

  • @praise3385
    @praise3385 11 місяців тому +3

    Leave space for Jesus!!!😭😭😭😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😂

  • @odeyemidaniel7243
    @odeyemidaniel7243 Рік тому +4

    This is so nice. Can I plead that you reduce how you cut each other short? Because most times there wasn’t a chance to bring it up again.
    Thank you 💙💙

  • @exceptionalgrace001
    @exceptionalgrace001 Рік тому +5

    There are hugs and there are hugs

  • @tijesunimipopoola5336
    @tijesunimipopoola5336 Рік тому +2

    4. What you can't do as a believer if you know God is present there.

    • @tijesunimipopoola5336
      @tijesunimipopoola5336 Рік тому +2

      #jaymike I added a fourth point, and this is the 5th point that is similar.
      5. What you can not boldly do in church.

  • @Thepilgrim22
    @Thepilgrim22 Рік тому +5

    The Cooler allowance was it for me 😂😂😂😂

  • @oluwatobiope4735
    @oluwatobiope4735 Рік тому +2

    Love this discussion 😂 Pls this table needs to be balanced o. Let the ladies breathe

  • @Daniel.E3
    @Daniel.E3 Рік тому +8

    29:58 Jaymikee ohh😂😂. Thank you so much Zion kulture. We the youger generation are learning. God bless you all🙏❤

  • @tamiausten873
    @tamiausten873 Рік тому +19

    14:30 😂😂😂 my mind has gone to Brother John 😂😂😂 married man still partake in cooler ministry 😂😂 and he ate everything that was served, his friends even refused to help and Bro couldn't even get a clue🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️😅

  • @tamiausten873
    @tamiausten873 Рік тому +5

    30:28 especially the issue of musicians and brides. A certain wedding is on my mind: it was a well known Gospel artiste.

    • @leavemealone7935
      @leavemealone7935 Рік тому

      HMMM...COUGH COUGH! MOSES BLISS COUGH COUGH!

    • @yomide_naturals
      @yomide_naturals Рік тому

      ​@@leavemealone7935Moses Bliss how?
      He only just got engaged, he hasn't done his wedding ceremony yet

    • @leavemealone7935
      @leavemealone7935 Рік тому

      @@yomide_naturals she’s talking about musicians and brides.. it was Moses bliss and ekene that she knelt down to hug him at his genitalia’s area and was trending on X

    • @yomide_naturals
      @yomide_naturals Рік тому

      @@leavemealone7935 ohh I remember

  • @GbemisolaOluwasina
    @GbemisolaOluwasina 11 місяців тому +2

    We fix tables...grandson of carpenter...😂😂😂❤

  • @lucasoluwadahun1134
    @lucasoluwadahun1134 Рік тому +6

    You ate food and you were healed and you don’t want me to eat😭😭😭😭.😂

  • @elsiedziekpor3399
    @elsiedziekpor3399 Рік тому +3

    This team of four is so full of fun 😂 Well done you all

  • @midejoy12
    @midejoy12 Рік тому +2

    Welfare unit ahh😂

  • @lizdazzy5752
    @lizdazzy5752 Рік тому +61

    Lay a Godly foundation in a relationship
    What's appropriate in a relationship:
    - side hugs
    - meet in public areas
    - no cooking for the partner (go and buy your own food or cook for yourself)
    - dress appropriately (not seductive so that It won't lead to lust. #keepitholy)
    - I think holding hands is appropriate (please educate me 🤷)
    What is not appropriate in a relationship:
    - spend the night together (all in the name of Bible study)
    - kissing on the lips (please wait after marriage)
    - full hugs (your body is the temple of the Lord. Wait my dear)
    - don't send any signals that shows marriage when you know you are not married
    - Don't call them babe (it's sweet but it's not clean. You can call them dear or by their name. Simple)
    The most important thing in Christian relationship is the holy Spirit. When the holy Spirit is in you guys life, your relationship will be clean if you are international with it because you will now what is right and wrong
    *Please add your own if you have any insight to this because this is an awareness topic in Christian relationship."

    • @akinoluwatoyin5732
      @akinoluwatoyin5732 Рік тому +2

      Wow, don't call them babe... Hmmm

    • @lizdazzy5752
      @lizdazzy5752 Рік тому

      @@akinoluwatoyin5732 maybe after wedding 😂 but while still courting, personal, I don't think it's appropriate. It sounds sweet and nice but it's not clean.

    • @yahushasdaughter9106
      @yahushasdaughter9106 Рік тому

      ​😂😂😂i am shocked, but we are learning sha ​@@akinoluwatoyin5732

    • @faridamusa9661
      @faridamusa9661 Рік тому +2

      Why can't we call them babe

    • @faridamusa9661
      @faridamusa9661 Рік тому +9

      Why isn't it clean, the word isn't vulgar, babe means baby, what is the difference between dear and baby

  • @olaniyanadekemi1387
    @olaniyanadekemi1387 Рік тому +5

    😂❤ thank you Guys, don't do anything that will set you up for compromise....

  • @loismichaels2627
    @loismichaels2627 Рік тому +7

    Cooler ministry.😂
    Thank you so much for this. I got clarity to a lot of things.

  • @onwugharafavour4274
    @onwugharafavour4274 Рік тому +3

    So I have a question, I love cooking, I might not have strength to cook for myself but once i know a friend is coming i gather the strength to cook. My question is how will i know the food I'm cooking with a pure intention is sending the wrong signal.

  • @elizabethalagabi6462
    @elizabethalagabi6462 Рік тому +2

    And, yes. The Holy Spirit should be in the CENTRE

  • @heraldhometv2850
    @heraldhometv2850 5 місяців тому +2

    Thank you so much, guyyyys❤
    Please can a topic about boundaries in friendship between the opposite gender be spoken about here?

    • @adelekefatima1466
      @adelekefatima1466 4 місяці тому

      @jaymikee I think this topic/issue should be address

  • @amandabapson466
    @amandabapson466 Рік тому +3

    This cooler ministry talk sweet me 🤣😂😂😂
    God bless you all for this talk it's reality and where i come from people have normalized cohabitation to the extent that a person single and staying at home at 20 becomes abnormal 🤣😂😂

  • @excellentnnaji3411
    @excellentnnaji3411 Рік тому +3

    Jaymikee no dey gree, having fun watching you guys

  • @theitunubaby
    @theitunubaby Рік тому +6

    Cohabiting is the term you are looking for guys. Sorry it was disturbing me😂😂😂😂😂 but I loveeeee loveee your videos FAM.

    • @danielfotocraft
      @danielfotocraft Рік тому +1

      The comment I've been looking for. 😂😂😂thank you.

    • @theitunubaby
      @theitunubaby Рік тому +1

      @@danielfotocraft 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣

    • @paulsimfukwe3542
      @paulsimfukwe3542 Рік тому

      😂😂💀

    • @davidekechi4228
      @davidekechi4228 3 місяці тому

      Thank you 🥲

    • @MarriethAkporowho
      @MarriethAkporowho 16 днів тому

      I was shocked when I heard them saying it over and over again
      Cohabitating

  • @Eseohenobhen
    @Eseohenobhen 6 місяців тому +2

    That how during discussion I just mentioned my favourite meal
    The guy cooked it for me ooo 😂😂
    I was shocked walahi... Was begining to think he will be a perfect man... But was my standard that saved me then, it was a period I wasn't ready for relationship 🥱

    • @olajiredeborah2224
      @olajiredeborah2224 3 місяці тому +1

      Hmmmm
      Truly guys can go to any length to get what they want

  • @Teejay86
    @Teejay86 Рік тому +4

    Jaymikee is just too funny😂😂

  • @blessingotugo
    @blessingotugo Рік тому +4

    You guys are doing a great job.
    Im sure you expected some people would need clarity on each content in the outline.
    I’ll just say this simple. The truth is each outline is a topic on its own which would require enough time time to elaborate on considering the population of mixed multitudes. We should however bear in mind there’s a thin line between what is right and wrong in every subject matter. Many have crossed the lines many times that they can hardly see the lines again consequently finding it difficult to accept and agree with this inherent christian structurally placed practices.
    Here’s what i have for Christians, constantly renew you minds with the word of God. Flee from all APPEARANCES of evil( it may not be But what could lead to possible evil) although this calls for discernment. I believe this clip is help us guard against what could lead us to where we wouldn’t want to be. Btw, know that whatever you do in favor of the flesh, the flesh yearn and want more We can hardly say so for the Spirit as we are constantly in flesh and these two are constantly at war. Lets also remember that is mainly for those in potential ship or already in one. You would agree with me that these people usually have a connection in heart and spirit which begs the reason they should not indulge in practice that could lead to sin until the time is right.
    Ps: im not perfect, we’re all learning and our way to perfection. This zion kulture as well as other Christian based channels helps us to check our excesses and make necessary adjustments for better Christian life.
    God bless!

  • @iyerejennifer9345
    @iyerejennifer9345 Рік тому +5

    I can join you as a lady oo😂 . You said it's not easy being the only lady there.
    This is a beautiful discussion. Also, educative.

    • @faithgayina9983
      @faithgayina9983 Рік тому

      Yea. She's a strong for holding her forte among them.
      You did great, Sis Mary!

  • @JoyYetunde
    @JoyYetunde Рік тому +2

    Really shaking tables 😂😂😂😂

  • @A.o.g.e.m
    @A.o.g.e.m Рік тому +4

    Let me sit down to learn
    Because there's a lot to learn from this

  • @comfortolubusuyi1591
    @comfortolubusuyi1591 Рік тому +5

    I love you guys
    Beautiful content😂😂

  • @kushsewa1706
    @kushsewa1706 Рік тому +2

    JayMikee is the wickedest of the bunch😩😩😂

  • @racheljohnson8365
    @racheljohnson8365 Рік тому +1

    It's this cooler ministry talk for me 🤣🤣😂
    Cooler ministry is equal to the ministry of cooler😂

  • @salamifolashade3525
    @salamifolashade3525 Рік тому +2

    Kai food is powerful 😊😊😊

  • @st.delight1807
    @st.delight1807 5 місяців тому

    In regard to the cooler ministry, I served as Vice president of my fellowship in school, and I am not a cooking type, but two sisters in fellowship regularly come to my lodge to cook in my place which I and them will eat. But something about them is that they come in two. And I don't stop anyone from coming to eat in my place because they place me high, and I love attending to people need. Although I don't think it's a sin, except if it become constant. If it's a sin then God should forgive me.

  • @Eruore
    @Eruore 11 місяців тому

    Jaymikee is funny🤣🤣🤣

  • @fuseinasalifu5064
    @fuseinasalifu5064 Рік тому +1

    She said "I don't sound like that" 😂😂😂😂😂

  • @livinusluka6692
    @livinusluka6692 11 місяців тому

    Ultimately, as they said, we have to depend on the holy spirit to help at every point, because you could get to a point where the do's and don'ts can hold you back because of the level of intimacy and emotiinal connection between you and your partner. So where boundaries begin to fail, the holy spirt steps in to start convicting and warning you.

  • @MercyAdebayo29
    @MercyAdebayo29 Рік тому +1

    cooler ministry that they used to collect one brother from a sister in my former church that year...

  • @donaustinosas
    @donaustinosas Рік тому +1

    Jay Mike 😂😂😂😂 thank you so much for this

  • @AtamfonWilson
    @AtamfonWilson Рік тому +8

    4th comment yay.
    Co + Habitat 😂😂😂

  • @simonesther5587
    @simonesther5587 Рік тому +15

    Mary please take a lady with you in the next episode. It was you against two in the last one. Now you're against three!😂 Weldone sis, thank you for always standing for us despite.....😂 I'm rooting for you ☺️
    God bless Zion kulture❤️

    • @faithgayina9983
      @faithgayina9983 Рік тому +5

      Yes oo. They didn't want to let her breatheeee...but she's a strong woman sha. Held her own nicely!

  • @amadiblessing_
    @amadiblessing_ Рік тому +2

    Cooler is powerful 😂😂😂😂

  • @ainaifeoluwa9299
    @ainaifeoluwa9299 Рік тому +1

    Yes she went through a lot in the last one.😂😂😂

  • @miracle_aseme
    @miracle_aseme 5 місяців тому

    😂😂 Mr. Jaymikee, is a table shaker

  • @deborahogunbiyi-if4is
    @deborahogunbiyi-if4is Рік тому +13

    It's the way the two men are countering the lady for me. 😂

  • @OlayiwolaAun-rn8cs
    @OlayiwolaAun-rn8cs Рік тому +2

    What about cooking for a guy u are in courtship with

  • @elizabethalagabi6462
    @elizabethalagabi6462 Рік тому +3

    You shouldn't be the only lady there. This is not fairrrr😂

  • @dorcasyeboah9290
    @dorcasyeboah9290 Рік тому +3

    Let me say that you guys did well but still from someone that was born and raised in Europe trust me the front hug would not be a problem for a lot of parents so😂😂😂😂 the way my brother hugs me is even thighter than the man who loves me so 😂😂

  • @chukwuemekachidera382
    @chukwuemekachidera382 Рік тому +4

    Inspiring as usual 👌

  • @kingdomstarr
    @kingdomstarr Рік тому +4

    Okay I just found this channel and I'm glad to subscribe, beautiful godly contents. More grace guys watching from Great Britain 🇬🇧❤️

  • @dinmasandra4334
    @dinmasandra4334 Рік тому +5

    Not only should you ask is it right?
    Include these in your questions: Is it wise? Is it profitable? Is it necessary? WPN😅

  • @timi_OFP
    @timi_OFP 11 місяців тому +1

    Powerful .... Well explained

  • @AdedigbaRebecca
    @AdedigbaRebecca 3 місяці тому

    God bless Zion kulture ❤

  • @OziomaVictory-rz2qs
    @OziomaVictory-rz2qs Рік тому +3

    I'm just gathering victuals for the future. Thank you so much Zion Kulture and God bless you.

  • @MimidooTerwase
    @MimidooTerwase Рік тому +1

    Cooler is powerful😂. Sisters in welfare take note.may be you don't understand the gravity of your ministry. Am blessed oo

  • @blessingdaniel5195
    @blessingdaniel5195 Рік тому +3

    I really appreciate that these conversations are held. Thank you Zion Kulture ❤

  • @Hd_Crochets
    @Hd_Crochets 11 місяців тому +1

    I was really blessed by this,GOD bless you all at Zion Kulture in Jesus name.And may you not fall victim of all the points you made.
    I have a question, about the hugging,does it spread across to cousins of the opposite gender?
    And if you bump into an old friend you used to be close to,after a few years,is it wrong to hug out of the joy of seeing that person?
    I mean A person of the opposite gender.

  • @fearlessdanacademy
    @fearlessdanacademy Рік тому +1

    UA-cam bringing things I need to watch ❤

  • @ifeomapreciousnwadiaro5664
    @ifeomapreciousnwadiaro5664 Рік тому +3

    What of giving money in relationship

  • @woliwrapper
    @woliwrapper Рік тому +2

    This things get level, seriously. Lesson shared though!

  • @FunmiOdedoyin
    @FunmiOdedoyin Рік тому +1

    Very good

  • @African_plants
    @African_plants Рік тому +2

    I don't know if any of you on this table was/is on a distant relationship, but for the lady that kept saying video call, do you plan your marriage from video call? Esp in a situation where both parties don't reside in the same state.

  • @chideraazubuike3325
    @chideraazubuike3325 Рік тому +3

    Thank you Zion culture.
    I love love and enjoy your content. God bless you immensely 🙏.
    Although, you all don't seem to carry the larger audience, I mean you make comments as though we already know without solid reasons or structural back up.
    To the only girl on set today🎉, we love you and❤ are rooting for you sis but please stop practising phonetics on set😭.

  • @davidthewitness
    @davidthewitness Рік тому +8

    On a side note
    Tamar did cooler ministry for her biological brother and put herself in a vulnerable position because
    (1) nobody was there
    (2) amnon her brother had bad intentions
    I believe the same applies to brothers and sisters in Christ
    Wonderful conversation guys..i was blessed and was laughing all the way

  • @tosin_daramola
    @tosin_daramola Рік тому +1

    Cohabiting is a sin❗️

  • @JosiahYaroObadiah
    @JosiahYaroObadiah 6 днів тому

    Thanks to you all for these wise advise
    Ones again thank you Jaymikee

  • @st.delight1807
    @st.delight1807 5 місяців тому

    I love this ladies voice

  • @user-lindy-g5m
    @user-lindy-g5m 2 місяці тому

    Ohhhh,Aunty Mary😂😂😂

  • @preciousolusegun-01
    @preciousolusegun-01 Місяць тому +1

    Thank you so much sirs and ma for the guide and wisdom.🙇 This platform is indeed needed in our generation. And to the only lady in the house, I really like your dressing and composure ma.😊
    Also, I need to ask...
    What about giving pet names before marriage. Is it ideal? Is it a normal thing?