How Do I Get Over Her? (Oneitis)
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- Опубліковано 30 вер 2024
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Entrepreneurs in Cars - You are the Red Pill Doctor, my brother from another mother coming from a black brotha
IA MGTOW - I am honored that you prefer to call us brown rather than "black."
That is in fact more accurate because NO ONE on the planet is black and NO ONE on the planet is white; labels that have been imposed on us to maintain "racial" division.
We are either light, brown, or dark brown skinned of which resulted in the exposure or lack there of to the sun.
It is possible that even Europeans can become dark brown over centuries of constant exposure to the sun and great heat.
Anyone that can understand this has true intelligence.
We men must unite!
Our planet must unite!
Love you Doc!
Keep those daily red pills coming, bug brother!
IA MGTOW Oops!
And I mistakenly thought you were Entrepreneur responding to me. Lmbo
Okay, I will subscribe.
The next subscription tour get will be me, bhai.
Easiest way to get over this pathetic "oneitus" thing, f*ck another/other women and you will quickly switch that feeling off. Abundance, always.
-MMW
Those red flags add up to "borderline". A borderline can turn John Wayne into a pile of blue pill goo begging for scraps - IF HE LETS HER.
These borderline entanglements are all so similar, it's like these Cluster B girls have a manual from the factory (the guy versions have their own manual as well).
If he had remained red pill, he would still be with her - and she would have enslaved him and be in the process of dismantling his life and his sanity.
His screw ups may have literally saved his life.
Stop thinking : "it was just your turn"
Think: " it was her turn in my life"
Change the perspective
Thank you for this simple but super powerful mental change, fiancé and mother of my 7m daughter just left me and this comment just hit me like a nail on the head, thank you for the perspective change I desperately needed
@@alvarovillagomez1614 wish u all the best. Some of us are hurting the same way here.
@@alvarovillagomez1614 Just got played for 19 years of all my shit - Lesson learned now they will only get a turn in my life I will have my fun and it's on to the next one when I am done
That really is the most awesome perspective change.
Respect.
Guys...there is no "the one". There are literally millions or hundreds of millions of women on this earth that you could be unbelievably attracted to. If you landed one hot babe, you can land another...or even get a better one. It's actually a numbers game. The chances are...
Remember, men's attractiveness INCREASES with time. Time is on your side.
What you dont understand is the effect on the psyche that playing the "numbers game" has. We evolved in groups of 150-250 people and treating others especially mates as an expendable resource is not how we evolved to develop our society. If our ancestors gave up on *their* relationships we wouldn't exist so there is some truth to the feeling of attachment.
@@Stoigniew666 Haha lmao made my day XD
kichigaisensei I’ve always thought men get better looking with age and wisdom. It’s literally confidence that’s attractive and a go getter spirit I. Most alphas. It’s difficult being an alpha female too... but we survive because videos like yours. So thank you 🙏
@@waterlily100203 This isn't my video. But, of course you think men get better looking with age...because that's literally ingrained in our DNA. Women who choose older men with more resources have historically produced more children surviving into adulthood. Men who chose younger more fertile women have historically produced more children surviving into adulthood.
Now I get the Rolling Stones song :-)
I think oneitis is a symptom of insecurity and not having the self confidence to find another person of better quality, so we cling desperately to the illusion of that ideal and "settle".
Agreed red pill men are not afraid of change and understand there is not one set path to life. If tgerecis an obstacle or blockage dont sit and cry about it find away to attain your goals and aspirations thats red pill.
That’s somewhat true. For males growing up in single parent homes, this narrative is pushed from mom, sisters, tv shows, movies, music, so he isn’t even aware that this is not the way men should be. So he has an attachment to an idea not of his own and hopefully the painful heartbreaks lead him to the red pill, but even then it is very hard to break those deep seeded ideas right away. He has to be shown it is wrong to flip the switch to realize it’s a lie. It’s so much like the matrix, it’s such a perfect analogy.
now what No, it’s a symptom of being in love.
I think that is a fairly accurate observation.
yeah I cant find anyone else approaching impressing new girls seems impossible
The oneitis stories are real painful to listen to. Gents, if you don't respect yourself, don't expect her to.
Yup, never put your girlfriend or wife first. I learned the hard way, but me not giving a crap about what she thinks or does makes her find me that much more attractive and someone she wants to be with. Chivalry worked hundreds of years ago. The stupid B can care for herself now. Don't expect me to bend over backwards for you when at the end of the day you'll *never* appreciate it.
What happens when you give a mouse a cookie? She's gonna want a glass of milk.
Amen brother
Childish Wisdom ain't that the motherfucken truth! Same here, gave her everything of me only to see the bitch stab me right in the back!!! Never again.
Conservative Prosecutor it’s more of an old folk saying, not like a truth. Lol. It basically means it’ll always want more, so there’s no point in giving in the first place.
Edit - as for your second point, that’s true. But it’s a little simpler even from what I’ve learned / seen. Tell her what she wants. You don’t even have to “know” - just tell her and that will we good enough.
Wise words my friend
The trophy loses its luster when it keeps falling off the shelf and hitting you in the head.
haha, good going pal
Hahahahahaha. Good one!
Time heals all
Every man at one point goes through a tough break up.
My long time ex still crosses my mind to today
Your right, don't know why because the woman I'm with now is so much better in so many ways, but for some reason, my mind wanders back to my ex every now and then.
John Gillin same my ex was insane and objectively a far worse person than the girl I'm talking to now but sometimes I think about her it makes me feel really bad
I’m the same way, my ex still crosses my mind sometimes even tho I would never go back to her. It’s natural to do it, but just remember why yall aren’t together anymore and usually that’ll help to shove her out of your brian
Brain*
Yeah, i got a hottie i cant forget, boy that body and sex was off the charts.
Oneitis...is definitely the best way to introduce people with the redpill
1000%
Absolutely
Honestly!!!
Well man, at the start everything was so beautiful then it fucked me so hard. Now I am here, learning from mistakes and stupidity and owning it!
For a newbie. For a guy that already knows reality but doesn't wanna accept it is like going backwards. This is why I don't like the gimmick 💊 you are not taking a pill. You are awakening to the truth! The pill is just a metaphor the bridge to accept reality.
shes not your girl, just your turn. there's 4 billion golden V's move on. you are not even close to RP, your blue pill.
depends who you ask
Simply put: women want a project. They want a man who has his shit together, is emotionally (and economically, goes without saying) self-sufficient and doesn't _need_ them in order to feel fulfilled, and they enjoy having to continuously work at gaining and holding that man's approval and fidelity. The minute they know they have your unconditional approval and fidelity and you're wrapped around their finger, the spark is gone and the relationship is either doomed to end or slump into routine.
So don't be a distant and uncaring asshole, but also don't be one of those "i would be nothing without you" guys. Find a middle ground where she knows you care but also that you won't take any shit from her and there are plenty of fish in the sea aside from her.
somewhat right. The first initial reason a girl hooks up with a guy is his face, but she may settle for less face and more resources if she has consistent troubles pulling men out of her league. That’s when things like money, status, must haves are conditions for her to hook up with a less desisted male in her mind. These are all artificial attraction metrics, they work for her until someone with a sexier face is willing to give her attention, then she’ll trade those resources and stability away to obtain what she truly desires, a gorgeous man. This is truth. Otherwise she trades up to a more successful man if that’s what she feels she can get. It’s all just a game for her, all the way past her wall.
Lost a good girl...being the distant and uncaring asshole.
But hey, we don't lose, we learn.
There are good ones and bad ones. There is no one.
Plenty of more good girls out there.
Will apply the learnings next time.
Sounds like a LOT of work. Dont make your self improvement about her. You don't serve the woman. She is not to be the focus or the purpose. If she HAS to be the focus, she's being selfish and holding herself and the man back. A man has to play his role in life and a woman is suppose to be his helper. The woman was made for the man, not the man for the woman. Adam was created first, then Eve.
burning a bridge so you can see in the dark... are you a poet, Rich :-P ...?
good stuff
That's a real good quote
You say that you want to keep her as an option, but you really don't.
You want her as an option to:
1) Right your wrongs, and be the alpha you've always wanted to show her you can be.
2) Get a "possible" 2nd chance at having her in an LTR.
This is your hurting ego wanting to prove itself, and I completely understand that. But if you want to really move on from this, you have to move on from her as an option and a partner. You can't have it both ways; you can't keep trying to see her and move on from her at the same time.
The more you think about her, the more time you waste not becoming the better version of yourself. Meanwhile, she's still going to be with someone else that's not you. We're gonna have to accept that.
Get on your purpose, and you will find a hotter chick with a more abundant mindset later on.
Omar Omran
Facts!
So many guys struggle with this but this is the only correct path.
You're Comment Is Deadass An Eye Opener For Me Bro, EXACTLY What I Needed To Hear, Thank You So Much For The Jewels, I Hope You Have An Amazing Day My Guy
@Omar Omran really wish I had come across this video sooner and read your comment faster! Maybe I would've been so hurt! Thank you for an amazing comment!
Shame he didn’t put their ages. Say they’re both 35. In ten years he probs wouldn’t even bang her, yet if he has his shit together at 45 he can have a 25 year old instead. So in ten years if he was asked… 45 or 25 to date?… He has to try and remember the long term. It’s really not easy though despite this truth and logic.
I'm barely coming across this video and comment, but holy shit man couldn't be anymore accurate. I literally just went through this, we broke up and she monkey branched for 3.5 months. I worked on myself and became better but then when her rebound failed I tried to make her an option. It was absolutely for both of those reasons you stated. I wanted to prove to myself and to her that I was that guy. Well guess what I did prove myself but it still didn't work out 6 months later because she didn't respect me the same. I won't make that mistake again, it 100% kept me from becoming the best version of myself. A lesson learned.
Every guy needs to go through this. It's how you because that attractive 30 something year old guy.
Tough pill to swallow
I believe you are correct.
facts
I have oneitis for my car.
That's very Chinese of you
Lol; we’ll allow it. I have oneitis for my truck but will have to sell it soon as I’m about to move overseas and keeping/taking it would be impractical. Hurts but I’ve got to drop the scarcity mindset...
She is using sex in a manipulative way, this is a painful route to a dangerous situation. The worst way to use this technique is when the victim is completely unaware they are being manipulated. A skilled female player gains the trust of a guy, has sex and then exploits him emotionally from then on.
This is also known as a power play, where you expect a man to always be there for you just because you once had a sexual connection together. This is a form of psychological abuse and you should change your behaviour immediately.
This explanation is really on point, this is exactly what my ex GF (10/10) was doing to me. She would be overly loving and having sex with me and the next day she would do a silent threatment or manipulate me into doing something.
One day I couldn't handle the BS anymore and dumped her. She had daddy issues
MrJeroenJA You made a rational choice, definitely not LTR material.
Yes, but it was extremely hard. I was deeply in love and this girl was extremely charming. But I noticed small signs of manipulation. She made me feel like the best guy in the world, she would literally tell me that as well. But she only had sex with me when I did something for her (most of the times)
Been there. This is as true as common, sadly...
If its over with a girl, block and delete all forms of communication!
I wish I did that. I dumped my ex-gf three times and all she did was beg me and say she would be a better girlfriend. Blah blah blah. I took her back because I loved getting laid and I loved her, I loved her a lot actually. I put her in her place all the time and I would’ve done a lot of things for her, but I would never bow to her like she wanted.
So, after the third break-up, I could sense in my gut that she was plotting something and lo and behold a month later, she breaks up with me over phone and a WEEK later announces a new boyfriend on facebook and gets a ton of praise by her retarded friends and family. Needless to say, that fucking pissed me off because I was a great boyfriend to her bitch ass.
I just cannot understand in my heart of hearts why girls and women LOVE getting revenge so much that they will commit such great sin to do it. I wish I had this answer. The closest answer I can find is in the Bible: Ezekiel 34:31 (KJV) “And ye my flock, the flock of my pasture, are MEN, and I am your God, saith the Lord GOD.”
NoC facts
Agree!
What if you have a kid though?
When people can walk away from you, let them walk.
Curing oneitis is definitely the first step in the recovery process of unplugging. Thanks for covering this Rich!
Yep they got your mind anchored so they can break your heart.
Interesting point that Rich makes about intuition.
In my own life I have discovered that what your gut feeling tells you that she is by the third date is what she is.
After this point it's natural to feel closer to her and excuse her nonsense.
Please don't.
Another thing I've learned is that when you finish with a really attractive woman you sometimes believe that you won't find anyone as attractive again.
You will.
Many times.
Wheres the guarantee if 80% of western women are proud card carrying hobgoblins?
'In my own life I have discovered that what your gut feeling tells you that she is by the third date is what she is.' What do you mean by this? That women can pretend to be someone else than they truly are when settled down?
@@MrJeroenJA Yes.
Although it's natural to portray yourself in your best light when first met, in my personal experience women let little things slip.
Just brief mentions etc.
At that point I have glossed over these "red flags" because there's a lot to take in when you first meet.
Later on these things come back to haunt.
As an example:
An ex of mine made a very vague mention that housework should be avoided. This was on the second date.
I laughed.
Because I was the new best thing in her life at that point her house was kept clean in order to make a good impression.
Months later once my new gleam had worn off her house became a shit hole.
That's just a very minor example.
I don't agree totally. Once I got along with a girl perfectly, I fell in love first time I saw her. Had 3 perfect first dates, but she turned out to be a sociopath. Cute on the outside, extremely charming, but very emotionally manipulative.
@@MrJeroenJA Well, it's a personal experience thing, isn't it?
Diagnosed sociopaths are a whole different chapter.
Hope things are working out for you and going well now.
Doesn’t get any more beta than hanging out with your ex hoping she’ll pick you fellas. Just don’t do it.
Unless she's a single mommy. I know because it was me at one point lol.
Lust is not love.
Be thankful kids are not involved. You sound like someone who already knows the answer. But loves the sex to much.
😄😄😄😄😄😄
True :)
2 things humans do well, 1)Over complicate their lives 2)Justify why they do it. That is friggin GOLD
In today's world, everything-including interpersonal relations-are transitory. Realizing this at a young age, will save you a lot of pain in life. I didn't realize it until I was in my mid-30s, unfortunately.
TheyRiseBand I see this very clearly the last two years. Took my mid 30’s to see this.
transitory ?
Transitory- adjective- meaning, not permanent
eh, realizing it early was still painful. The flip side is that if most relationships are transitory most aren't worth the effort in forming or keeping.
Truer words never spoken.
"You cannot be seasonal... you gotta be gangsta 365" -- P. O'Neal
Tactical Guide to Women
Identify the red flags listed in the book, then act accordingly
Sorry Richard said right after I posted this, but I had to say it.
"Mastery has no finish line, it's a life long journey."
I just wanted to share that for me the oneitus illusion was the most bitter part of the red pill to taste. It’s only after fully understanding and accepting the female nature of love for her man is based on attraction and her attraction by nature is temporal and only somewhat permanent if the mans looks and status continue to “woo” her. Otherwise she will cheat or swing eventually. Once she moves on, without an attraction for you, her love is gone and that is why men have a hard time understanding why she can leave so easily and forget all the things done for her. It was in her mind not as significant as to the male who sacrificed and was told his definition of what love should be. Hardest part of the pill to swallow.
I had a girl that had argued with her boyfriend about me staying with her while I was working out of town. She was telling him that he didn't trust her. One of the first things she does is get into bed with me . O_0. (No ,I didn't)
Another girl I was dating accused me of cheating. As I looked at her talk I realized that she was talking about herself. Girls will do that, I don't know why but they do. My inner sense could see it through.
dannukesem they do do it it’s called projecting
Dr. Von Sounds about right.
Yea i have noticed that too, what bitches accuse you of, they are.
Why do they get so accusitory of you cheating when they are?
If you've given her no reason to believe you're cheating and she accuses you of it then
1. She's cheating
Or
2. She's creating imaginary problems /fights
But either way I'm out.
I had a roommate who was probably a literal 3 or 4 in both intelligence and attractiveness, but he could pick up almost any girl in existence. And, not just attractive but attractive, educated, well employed, very high value almost always. Was a total eye opener to me. Compare yourself to yourself, not someone else, and make the changes you need to.
Jamie E
illimitible man monk mode....great resourses for men.
How?
How
@@fml5910 🤣🤣
I made the mistake once.
This girl that I liked very much, but was full of red flags so I left her.
I was ok and happy but after a few.months chance.made us run into each other in a bar.
Next day I missed her so I called her again to date.
Big.mistake. After a few months I fell in love with her, even though she kept showing.even more red flags.
My feelings took the best of me so I stopped acting as a man and that turned her off.
So the day she left I fell into a very heavy depression.
Of course, I still regret to this day having taken her back. I should have done with her what I did with the others, move on.
So that s the danger with dating a girl full of red flags: your mental sanity. In my case, a heavy depression which I struggled with for years. I wouldn't put even my worst enemy through that.
Richard.....i thought I never had it, but I just diagnosed myself with oneitis ...just yesterday.
I was going through a plan in my head to cure it....and Booom.. .... you put this video !! It's a sign !!
Thanks !
No wonder it is the first chapter in RM
@Sidewayyys Rational Male by Rollo Tomasi
Really enjoyed this detailed breakdown. Thank you. Let me just comment on the scarcity comment the writer made. From my own personal experience that just resolves itself with time and each time it happens you recover quicker and quicker. Best of Luck.
For every hot chick, there is at least one guy who can't stand her. That guy will say, "you can have her, good luck".
Honestly, I’m very glad this video was posted. I’m going through a similar situation. This past experience has just taught me that I need to vet people before I enter into a relationship with them. It’s much easier to end a relationship in the beginning, rather than after you’ve been sleeping together for a while.
I'll admit Rich I didn't like you at first, but you have grown on me and I feel like you can give really good advice. Especially at 11:13 so keep it up :)
What a nightmare he sounds like the chick and she sounds like the Player in the relationship she's running game on him oh dear 🤦♂️
The majority of women are players nowadays. They take the worst toxic characteristics of a men and apply it in their toxic feminist ideals.
_I've had recurring nightmares, I was loved for who I am, and missed the opportunity, to be a better man._
- Muse
I don't get it bro.
Those unicorns do exist among women but finding one is like finding a needle in a haystack. The director of Black Panther, his girl stuck with him through thick and thin. And even used her money to help him out when he was down on his luck in the early days of his career.
I think there are enough women like that, but they are hard to find. Women with good family values and have proven good relationships in the past.
Great quote that says it all.
The best way I've dealt with this oneitis issue is to drop all contact. The pain will be there for a little while.
Now that he has been exposed to RP knowledge, he is just trying to rationalize staying BP and not dealing with his Sh:;. And he wants you to give him permission. Prediction! He will offer to be her little puppy that she pulls around. She will happily except, as she still Fu:;@ Jerome.
Alot of guys with oneitis have codependency issues. Heal yourself before you date brothers ✌️
I learnt the hard way and kept in touch with an ex and she played me like a fiddle....keeping me at arms length as a back up. Cut her out of your life like a cancerous wound and you will heal fast enough and look back and think 'what the fuck was i thinking'. Don't ignore the gut feelings guys.
Most of the high virtue, low drama girls I have seen in my life are on general average looking girls. Who dedicate less time in making themselves "more physically attractive" and more time in other important things which improves the quality of relationship. Which is quite understandable.
I think it is very unlikely to find a girl with complete package. Rechard What's your opinion about it?
I reilized that what I missed, was the way that the relationship made me feel. I didn't miss her.
This is how I got over her after years:
I got myself a big brick and wrote her name on it. I carried the brick in my bag everyday for around 3 weeks. I was sick and tired of the extra weight, could not take it anymore, so I threw it in a lake close by, and when the water splashed, I was free. Heartbreak, is a brick burdening the soul, today, this very moment we can throw it in a lake and let it drown. And once unburdened, we can soar!
My thing is I've been working on myself and talking to other women. Yet somehow thoughts come back of my ex who I have convinced myself I'm over. We broke up 5 months ago and I still dream about her even though I don't want to and I also just am over anything that has to do with her. So what is this? I work out, I work, I have hobbies but it still sometimes pops up and its really annoying.
Time heals all wounds, if you dated for a year, as a plugged in beta, it will likely take another year to get her out of your head, updating your beliefs does speed it up.
Mach 5 Depending on how long you guys were together, it can take a long time. It took me about 8 months to get over my ex and we were dating for 6 years. Honestly, it was a lot easier for me to get over her once I blocked all of her social media so I couldn’t “check in” on her... aka I was being a creep and looking at her Facebook. At least I was smart enough to cut all contact.
Want closure? Feel grateful towards her. Those meaningful experiences you shared with her are what's driving you to work on yourself right now.
Mach 5 sex, especially repeated sex with someone creates an energy connection and the past bond takes time to disintigrate.
I offer energetic harmonisation and assistance to significantly reduce the energy connections between you two.
If you are in financial difficulty I offer a free session. There is a free energy healing video on my channel with more information and contact details.
You can see a small insight into the power of this type of energetic work by watching the video. Its not bs, its not placebo. It is explainable to a great extent through quantum physics.
All the best to you, peace
Mach 5 you bond with people and it is the loss of that chemical reaction.
Thanks my friend up North for brutally honest advice to a guy who was looking for a LTR out of a hoe.
When you finally sack up and remove her from your life like you already know you should, dont forget to delete all her photos. Also options are only girls you are currently dating. Girls your not dating are potentials. They stop being potentials once you make the approach or upto the first date. Thinking an ex is an "option" is femenine thinking. Sorry to tell you bro but you are an option to HER only and a male orbitor. Ive been there bro. Its the only way.
Cologiro Anello Agreed. When you throw something away, don't pick it up again.
I have never suffered from Oneitis. I have always convinced myself that I am the prize
"You must be better than her" -- P. O'Neal
Lucky man, keep it up !!!
Yes, yes, and yes.
It took me over a year to get over an ex I had oneitis for. I wish I discovered Rich sooner because I had to figure this shit out for myself.
What helped was cutting her off completely. Doing so allowed me to process: get angry, reflect on all the messed-up stuff from that relationship, recognize internal and external things affecting my thought patterns, improve myself (picking up heavy shit, learn new things, find new passions, etc.), and move on.
What you’re doing is giving someone power over you for their own sick pleasure. Stop it. Want to drive her crazy? Cut. Her. Off.
Keep following Rich and all things red pill.
Mathew K yup cut the cord. The loudest message you can send is silence.
What if you have a kid though?
@Rob Bankworth Tried messaging me a few times, but I just read it all as BS and not worth my time. It just feeds a vicious cycle and keeps you in a loop - which is where she wants you. Don't feed her ego.
@@Lexmrty Kids certainly tie you to the person you should be getting away from. I'm fortunate in that I have no experience there.
My advice would be to watch more of Rich's content, he talks a lot about navigating kids and the ex, for one.
Not sure if there's more to the story with your question, but assuming baby momma is toxic, I believe that guys should make their lives better and be there for their kids. Ignore whatever mind games baby momma wants to play. It's better for the adults in the room, and especially for the children that need a stable parent.
Thank you very much bro you hit the nail on the head. I will be watching more videos from rich. the situation I find myself in is rather difficult we have been split for about two weeks, ever since I started redpill in early 2020 I couldn't ignore what was going on. But it's a tight spot as we do have a 4year old and im living on blankets atm with no job but I guess it's a blank slate to build on.
My advise is to travel abroad for a couple of weeks, it helps reset the brain.
Awesome stuff Rich, per usual, keep up the good work.
To Mr Anonymous - You should reread your post you sent in because in it do detail a lot of your own problems and your own solutions...The biggest one is the "What I want to hear" fallacy. You know that "what you want to hear" isn't going to help you so you need to turn that thought around to listening to your own gut. Having people tell you what you want to hear has the following negative affects:
1. You know it's a lie but it comforts you and gives you an excuse you can use to justify to yourself making the exact same mistake and staying in your current negative tail-spin.
2. You know what you need to do, but if you keep inputting those blue pill thoughts in your mind, you won't be able to move on as each on acts as an anchor. Don't choose suffering, choose to be free.
You sound like you know your Red Pill principles but what you need is the hard-lined discipline to keep yourself in check. You learned some great Jedi skills but you went off to face Darth Vader a little too soon and got bested. Don't worry, it happens to all of us, but you need to let go of your fear and realize that:
1. If you used the red pill and where able to land a hot chick, you can land another
2. There are a lot of other women out there, go out and explore your options with them
3. Focus on you. Oneitis stems-from placing the focus of your life onto a woman and not on yourself. "A man's mission in life shall come first, not his woman."
4. Instead of being reactive and focusing on everything she's doing, focus on what you did right, what you're currently doing, where you want to be.
I've been down the Oneitis road myself before many years ago and I can tell you that once I got my focus right I was way better off for it. Oneitis is the easy way out because you're relying on someone else to shoulder the responsibility for your quality of life, instead of yourself. Reread your RP principles and exercise discipline in maintaining them and you'll see a drastic wold of change.
Cheers.
Been watching your channel for a week now, have learned a lot! Thanks.
One day Life will flash before your eyes so make sure its worth watching
But we do ...
You call herself your entire world and thats when you cant get out of your small world and keep on staking or crying over her ....
U got one life and u still investing your time into wrong person...time to move on...some people comes in your life just to set an example that what to avoid in future lol....
Oneitis can feel good but mostly it’s a good way to fail at life. There is no one. You’re not doing yourself or the other person any favors by believing you’re with the unicorn and if you lose her you’re done. Scarcity mentality plus framing yourself as a loser who can’t get what you want and have no purpose beyond keeping some girl who’s left you is sucky
just broke up with my girl and it was very necessary. At some point in this 3 year relationship I lost frame and she became very defiant. I had to bail out before getting caught in the "blast". I walked away with my dignity and now returning to FULL Alpha status.
Hell yeah
a co-worker got heated with me when i told him my beliefs on the soul-mate myth. he told me “dude trust me you will cross paths with your soul mate and she is waiting i promise you, im talking to mine right now” so i told him back, “didn’t you tell me you were in 2 previous marriages? yeah, and they were soul mates right?” lmao
Do women ever go through this stuff? Do they ever think "he wasn't mine, it was just my turn" when a guy leaves them or do these things mostly happen to men?
I bet they do cause thats exactly how i left one
Although totally unaware of it, she was a teacher who delivered a lesson. Disect the lesson and thank her (maybe silently) and move on.
I find that finding something else to put my head towards like a new hobby or business and just getting out talking to other women is the best way to speed things up! If you're doing this and still have her in your head then you just got to give it time!
Also I just subscribed and watched my first video there, love what this channel is doing! Will definitely be hanging around!
Here's an answer: You won't, just keep doing your own thing anyway, act like you don't have oneitis regardless of how you feel.
This sounds like codependency. Avoid dating if you're clinically depressed. Work on yourself and on your game.
The attraction on her behalf is lost when she see's you as an option. It looks weak and she will always have control over you until you decide to detach. Continue on the red pill road brother!
Wow. The author of the letter is so articulate and honest with himself. It almost sounds staged. The guy is deliberate and accurate in his thought process. I'd like to buy the guy a pint.
A great quote I heard “ there’s a difference between happiness and pleasure. Always be your own source of happiness. All a woman can bring at best, is pleasure. Never give her the power over your happiness.”
Wise words bro :)
Like a hurdle and keep on running...
GUYS Women are like Cars there's a Bunch of them making their way around your Corner ! It was JUST YOUR TURN IN THEM Woooo REALITY BITES !!
This guy knew what he had to do. He explained what he did wrong and most important of all he gave good solutions for what he should have done and what needs to be done later on. He's doubting himself, but already knows the answers he'll get from Richard and other guys (excluding his friends evidently). Sounds like a young man who had no masculine role model and thus needs to be told from a father figure what he knows deep in his bones. Like most of us, we learn through the school of hard knocks and its the pain that makes us remember what we've done wrong. In time, slowly or not doesn't matter, we catch on and become better versions of ourselves.
It’s really difficult to get over oneitis when you have a child. Every time i go to see him i see her too. She looks worse and i look much better since we separated. I do get that feeling every time i go home that i could’ve done better if i knew about the red pill.
The first book i read was the tactical guide to woman. Now i'm reading TRM(I'm in the 1/4th of the book). Good stuff, recommend both. Don't pirate these, buy these. Both of them worth the money
Highborn TRM?
the rational male :)
Once you find the hobby of your dreams.... women will always just be a sidebar
"Oneitis" is something you get as a teenager.
Then your mom says. "There's plenty more fish in the sea" ...and it's over.
2018 and this is where men are? A grown man prophesying the realization that there's more than one girl on the planet.
You are a wise old wizard. You are teaching me a lot.
How do you get over her?
I suggest drinking, seriously.
And when you come home totally drunk at 3 or 4 am, carefully listen what´s happening.
No yelling, no accusations, only silence and peace. That´s what you´ve won. The yelling and the accusations is what you lost.
Drinking alone at 3 or 4 am. Wow, what a "fun" life.
@@mr.gamewatch7547 Please read more carefully.
Comming home at 3 or 4 am, not drinking at 3 or 4 am.
And I didn´t write anything about drinking alone.
But if you like drinking alone at 3 or 4 am, your life would be more fun without nagging, yelling or accusations
It's very simple.
Write down in point form a list of her expectations of you.
It will open you eyes
How to get over it:
1. Do gym, walk fells/mountains, exercise.
2. Spend time doing what YOU want.
3. Look at your bank account growing due to not spending money on crap.
4. Enjoy not having to listen to endless bitching/whining about work/work colleagues/family/friends etc etc.
5. Enjoy your pals company. Those nights out that used to be the source of much of her bitching are yours again!
I became Redpill aware 4 months ago after a crazy on and off relationship. Yeah had severe oneitus but not anymore. Since been working on my self way more and much better off. I thank you Rich for all your teachings.
i think an important thing to realize about girls is that they are very similiar. The one you think is sooo unique is really not that different from her counterparts, for better or for worse.
I would quote the master Patrice O'neil and tell you to ask yourself "what do you really miss about her?" Its all about possessiveness. She was a possession which you no longer own. Thats mostly it.
Everything that this guy is going through happened to me too but I'm older I can tell his a young cat. After 16 yrs . My Lady did the same shit..
Awesome Video Richard!
All your stuff is truly amazing
~ your subscriber from India
@jadav
So Indian women are as ruthless, as cold stuck up broads as the one in N/America? How about their hypergamy?
Mile Marker oh you betcha. They are very sneaky and try to appear holier than thou and like they are the cleanest most angelic creatures on earth until they dump you out of the blue and use the age old excuse that their parents have fixed a marriage arrangement for them and they can't continue in the relationship. Truth is they just want the rich guy from the rich family and won't pass up on that offer.
+Sayantan Sam Sarkar absolutely true mate
IA MGTOW don't be fooled into thinking Indian women aren't hypergamous. Ask any young girl and she will want the guy to be well settled with a great job so that he can take care of her. It has happened to me enough to make me wake up and realize what true feminine nature is regardless of the country. It's just that Indian women have been oppressed all this while. Give them all a little freedom and see what will happen. The underlying nature is the same mate.
I do NOT agree with everything Rich says but i cant disagree with a single word he says here.
You shouldn’t be friends with your ex as a general rule...... AND especially if she is hot, because she’ll be accustomed to having exes hang around and you don’t want to want be one of those guys.......she’s just collecting them for attention/validation or in case she needs a favor.
I would add this young man who wrote the letter should read Halpern's book "How to Break your Addiction to a Person". Dr. Halpern would say this 'ONEITIS' (she's my One & Only) comes from early childhood attachment or lack thereof to mommy. Mom truly was our 'one and only' for our infant survival and we then transfer attachment issues to our adult relationships.
Excellent presentation. Constant vigilance is required.
Love your awareness bro :). Learning the hard way, but still learning and trying to be more aware every day. Love your content, keep helping us men out. Peace.
thats a perfect description of a type b personality disorder Bpd...man those types can put you on a slab...dodged a .50 cal there soldier
MGTOW SOLDIER yes they fuck your head. Definitely a borderline I would guess.
Had one of those for 9 years. I wanted to marry her early in the relationship (but she would've lost her disability check so she didn't want to...), I'm glad I never did. They always seem normal at first, but holy crap there must be some kind of switch or something that gets flipped because that only lasted the first couple years.
I have oneitis for my soon to be ex wife. She's definitely npd, but I just can't think of being with anyone else, even though she has moved on. I still see her because we have two children. My heart still skips a beat when I see her and I can't get over it. This fucking sucks.
I know that pain. I feel sorry for you. The only thing that got me through that period in my life was redpill friends. Mary Jane and having hoes helps, but really my friends carried me through that shi tshow. Also keep your hands busy with new hobbies, take more hours at your job, and start working out. I got into archery and guns after leaving my ex. Carried those hobbies through a few relationships afterwards, including the one I’m in. Thinking of dumping this one actually.
That's kind of depressing, you can't even be yourself or you'll be by yourself lol
The "just be yourself" story is the biggest lie mothers tell their sons.
Entrepreneurs in Cars I figured that, I just meant it's kind of sad how you have to keep acting "alpha" or whatever just so they don't leave you. But it makes sense I suppose, just kind of crappy.
Brandon quintero I disagree. You NEED to be yourself. But if you have an unattractive blue-pill mind set, you need to change who you are. It works both ways though, and is not exclusively a male issue. If a woman has negative traits, such as being overbearing, she truly is “being herself”. The problem is that her belief system sucks and she needs to change a part of who she is.
Mcnello idk it just seems like you have to always remember they don't actually love you, you don't really have any inherent meaning. It's what you have not what you are is why women are there. It just seems depressing as fuck lol
@@brandon17760 welcome to our fallen world. Now go read the New Testament and see how to fix things in your life.
An eighth million subs now. Good Job, Rich!
As someone who had oneitis hard when I was younger I am.of the opinion, oneitis is an ego thing. Why did she choose him over me? I wanna win. If you think about it, you might not even have that much in common with the girl you like, it's simply you feel like your self worth has been compromised and the only way to get it back is to get with that one girl.
Borderline in my opinion sounds too familiar
I used to have oneitus but now I like lots of girls and I've realised that if I'm getting too attached to one it would be better in long run to cut her off for s while and work on other ones. I've not been with anyone since I went red pill so am looking forward to red pill relationships.
Trophies look awesome on the mantel, but they get dusty after time…. “Oneitis” gets us all in life my friend…Red pill living is a process, I’m still a student!
Just got out of a 2 year relationship and am suffering big time . I understand red pill concept but it's difficult for me to implement because I'm older and was hoping she would be the one I could grow old with. It was a rollercoaster ride, almost split up multiple times before this . most of the time she was playful, fun, easy but every once in a while she did a 180. now, i'm trying to accept and move on by focusing on all the things i didn't like but the things i love can't be forgotten. UGH !
Literally my story right now. If it's so common, maybe they are common too..let's find the next one!
By own experience, never EVER go back with an ex, especially if she left you for another dude, after a few months you may become an alpha, you may be red pill as fuck, but if you get back with her you´ll be telling her subconsciously that you´re not a man of worth, and that´s because you´re accepting getting back with someone who will never see you as the guy she met, believe me, beent there multiple times, there are lots of beautiful and fun women out there, do the best that you can with what you can and they are eventually going your way.
Simpin ain’t easy
Oneitis becomes a big problem because men stop pursuing other women. As soon as a woman sees a man can't get other women, and is desperate, she wants out. The Man has failed the social proof test, and becomes an embarrassment.
Just like a arcade machine you want to keep playing you have to keep paying / gaming until someone pulls the plug.
Bring back arranged marriages. Women have been given too many options.
He speaks truth. What we need is chicks with low drama and high virtue. We don't need dis troublesome, money leeching, attention cravin' drama queens to ruin our lives. I wish for all of the dudes out there who got rejected, heartbroken, stolen, or cheated than you recover soon and move on while tossing them out of your lives and no to worry about them. Whatever happens to them ladies is their own problem to deal with. Let Lady Karma handle the rest.
This clip is the prescription to one of the worst male psyche diseases; oneitis.
GREAT advice with Rich putting himself out there with his own stories of association. I listen much more when advice is given and someone talks about their own situation; how the advice applies to themselves. Don't we learn much more by examples than just talking to or down to us?