Let our Guidance Feel Good to our Children

Let our Guidance Feel Good to our Children
One of The lies We have been sold by thousands of years of oppressive history, is that it's okay for someone who loves you, to hurt you.
I'm only doing this for your own good.
This is not okay with me. It's not how I wanted to parent. It's not the foundation I wanted to build my relationship with my child on. You know what I mean, right?
When my kid was born in 1997 all the models of parenting that I witnessed included the idea that the one who loves you needs to hurt you.
That's why I decided early on to dedicate myself to learning how to guide in a way that felt good, nourishing, empowering, and safe to my child. Committed to non-violence.
I made the conscious choice not to use my power to control my kid. That means I had to learn collaborative, connected, communication, and relationship based ways of guiding and working together. (And fun!)
That's part of what I've spent the last 26 years learning and practicing. And what I do my best to share with you all.
It's a deep study to learn to guide our kids effectively in a way that feels good to them. The beautiful thing about this is, it sets up a lifelong guiding relationship. One in which your kids will respect, and even seek out your wisdom and perspective on things.
One of the main ingredients in creating the safety is not expecting your kids to follow your guidance. Ask them to include it in their thinking. Then you can offer them a lot of really helpful information, and they won't resist it. This is gold!
Especially in the teen years when traditionally kids turn away from their parents. Spending the previous decade building these patterns of trust and reliability go a long way towards having a kid turn towards you when they are struggling.
Learning to guide this way is a lifelong practise. I highly recommend going through all of my videos, especially on my UA-cam channel. That'll really help give you lots of practical ideas.
A good question to ask on a daily basis is, What do you think you might have to change in the way you relate to your kid so that your guidance feels even safer?
Please sign up for my FREE COURSE "Guiding Without Controlling".
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