Відео

I like how you break down the different categories here. After doing non-coercive collaborative style for a couple of years it doesn’t feel extreme, if anything it feels like the bare minimum of common decency! -for anybody on the fence, it’s totally worth it! ❤

It's great to hear from you, friend!! It sounds like you are really thriving and loving yourself in the face of adversity. Congratulations on your new adventures! Please let me know how I can help!❤❤

Denying consent...this isn't about sleep however....my kiddo jumps on the dog, when dog doesn't listen to kiddo he hits/smacks her, I try empathy/connection 1st and it doesn't help then I move the dog against kiddos wishes, or end up yelling then crying then saying he doesn't deserve it and I just love them so much and don't want either to get hurt.... it's constant some days...hey let's go kick the ball around, becoming silly, getting on the ground ect doesn't work.....I try collaborating yet he wants none of it.....I am not the parent I want to be in those times, I feel he'd be better off without me.

Most parents create their own problems, they want kids to misbehave in order to justify punishment because they are messed up. Kids resist parental authority in order to maintain a sense of themselves in the face of what seems to them as insanity. It is a normal reaction to an abnormal situation. You are overintellectualizing and using words and concepts that's kids won't understand, which will just bully your child into submission.

Our compromise with our 6yo is that we have a "recommended bedtime" based on her age and sleep needs. We have an alarm that goes off as a "now would be a good time to start getting ready for bed" warning, but otherwise she's welcome to stay up as late as she wants. We do have a cut off time for story though. We've spoken to her about consideration for other people's time, and mommy and daddy are tired too and need time to unwind, so while she doesn't HAVE to go to bed when we want her to, it's not fair for us to have to wait around for her to be ready. So if she's not ready by 20h30, we don't read her a bedtime story (she can read herself if she chooses, but usually chooses extra playtime instead), no matter what though (as long as we're still awake - I'm currently pregnant and have nights where I fall asleep on the couch waiting for her, so my husband has to put me to bed when he's done with her 😂) she always gets "favourite thing and lullaby", where we all take a moment to remember our favourite part of the day and then sing her a song - to make sure, no matter what, we always end on a happy note 🤗

This is meant to be a genuine question, but are you saying that a parent having any sort of control over a child's life (when they go to bed, not only eating junk food, them not being able to play at night, no access to dangerous objects) is oppressive in of itself? If so, then that's a harmful idea to push onto people since children thrive on routine. If they are not exposed to a specific routine they follow, then they will be more likely to not succeed in life. Another issue is that when children do not have any rules, they tend to at out and are more likely to engage in risky behavior. If not, then I would really appreciate it if could clarify with a response.

It is like a thousand poubd of weight lifted of of my chest i connected to my inner child and i gave her love i told her she was never wrong because now i see it in that time with that knowledge i could not have done better and i was never wrong for who i am .....i should do this more often because last time i have done it helped me tremendously.... i feel connected to myself i washed all the wrongness away 😇 i feel so peaceful. We need to wipe away wrongness from ourselfs and we do not project it to our kids...because if it is inside you can try your best not to project it but it leaks out ....but you i did not say myself no wrongness because brain does not understand no...do not think of an elephant....we think of an elephant...i told myself you were always acceptable, always fine, always perfect as you are , i love you ( to my inner child) and i apologies for ever thinking you were not perfect you are and were perfect as you are ❤

This satire is hilarious! Unless it's not satire, in which case you're an imbecile.

I am really conscious about modeling for my children so yesterday evening i found a big spider and always try tonsave them catch them and release them.on the balcony....sonwe did that i put a cup on the spider a paper underneath and we let the spider go. My.mother is always why are.taking the trouble to do that...jist kill it it is a spider...but i 10.or 11.years old when i felt.like itnis not the way i want to live i want to save that spider and treat animal right i want tomlive in world that everybody does.that so i start with modeling this to my kids....we can choose to treat even a spider with respect we do notnhave to.kill.it but it is not me. It is a small thing but matters hope more people.wil start to think like this what is.the world that i want to live in?

If i may suggest another great series to.watch itnis called Firefly and the movie that is based on this with the same.actors Serenity...it is very deep the deepest you can get like are your values ? Would you give up your carrier as a medical doctor to save your sister from.being tortured and just hide that they wont be able to.find you for the rest of your life? What would you do to your closest people that stabbed you in the back at sold.you out? Would you kill him like he would allow them to kill.you? Would you risk it all to do the right thing? What are your values? It is deep as it can get i highly recommend you i think you would like it.

I'm only at 8:21, but this is all so true and these conversations are important so we can find ways to talk about these things. "The shame was keeping me from learning ... instead of thinking of all the new possibilities and being excited about what I learned" - that was such a great way to put it!

This talk is so incredible!!!! ✊🏼🫶🏼🤍

I would have a question people often limit screen time and during the summer.my 5 year old wanted to watch tv all the time...we went outside for hours but when we got inside he was almost glued to the tv.. and now that they started preschool sonhe is there ffom 8.30 am till 4 pm and even when he comes home he wnsts play outside but when he comes inside he does not want watch tv....it occured to me that he was missing his friends and when you watch tv you do not feel.alone so he was just try to meet his need for company? Now he has his 3 year.old brother and they are.best friends but still.lije he wanted more.company....we went to playground, friends cames.over, we went to have a pool party, but of course not every day.

I have it on video my 6.month old saying give me 😀 after he finished he lunch i noticed he always talkative and i got my phone i thought i make a cute little video for when he is grown up.we can watch it back and smile, so i started recording firdt he is just saying jiberish...like a.6.month old should and then he says give.me and he reaches for the phone so the penny dropped for me he wants the phone 😀 now you need to know his brother always took the toys out of his hands and said give it to me it is 2 words in our.language so he aparently learned it and i have it on a video...i told the nurse that was checking on him he started saying Mom between 2 and 3 month of age and it turned to a clear Mom when betwwen 3 and 4 month of age, said enought when he was 4 month old and i was saying tonher the 5 month old baby said Adrian which is the name of his brother and she said sorry i believe the previous ones but even Adrian himself need 20 month to be able to say his own name it is difficult word so she said sorry that i do not believe so i showed her video and she was like it is unsettling because even she worked with babies every day she.did not realize how conscious they are. So i believe 100% you can communicate with them well mostly not with words at this age but you can always watch the body language. Also yesterday i watched a nesr desth experience video the woman died during child birth but came back and she saw 3 babies in heaven she wanted to pick up and cuddle one they were so cute and the baby said what do you think you are doing? You can not just pick with me up without my consent....immmediatly thought of your video...

The family that jumps on the couch together stays together!

I am not triggered by kids hitting me, screaming at me, by their jumping, their running around but i am triggered by acbod and it is really deep in me as my mother is a control freak so every time i did or i do.something even now as a 41.year old adult.she just has to correct often critisize...but i do notice acbod and i decieded at the morning when i notice acbod my coping tool will playfulness...so whem i notice ohh acbod ...i can take a breath and figure out something....like my kids did not pee.for hours they really need to they are communicating it with behavipr as clear as the sun...ok but they are.refusing because they already in the yellow.zone slightly triggered, running, jumping, do not keep.eye ontact only laughing acting silly...so ok acbod lets figure out something....lets.do a peeing competion who can pee.do.most we are counting how long we pee and the winner will be the one whos.count is the highest...of.course i make sure i am participating but loose...and they enjoyed.it so.much for now it a.great solution ...luckily.my younger get.used to loosing becsuse my older is really competitive and just accepts it if not i say you both won great effort. So i was happy they emptied their bladder and silly behavior stops and they were happy they had sucha great time while.doing that 😂

Kids are so brilliant....when i do not notice myself and use empathy but my 5 year old says say it without the but 🥰 i am serious he knows how it feels to get uninterupted empathy and he guides me back to.how he wants to be treated...so brilliant 😀.

I wonder did anybody ask you why do you thank the kids that they hit you in the camp? Would anybody care to understand? Myself first i found it strange like why would thank them....but now i understand they express something with it and you are thanking because you feel priviledged that they share that with you and just i find myself as well unexceptable not to let a child express their need, feelings... but did anybody ask you about why do thank them?

I love this and have started to practice it in my own family thanks to Vivek. It is hard! I would love to hear more about how you practiced this when your children were younger (mine are 2 and 5). I find it very challenging to stay cool 😎

So much authenticity. So grateful.

❤❤❤❤❤ I love all four of you, thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences and I'm excited to check out the podcast for more 😀

Wonderful, brilliant ❤

Not judging them. I keep coming back to that. Being judged / critiqued can so easily give the impression of disapproval / wrongness and close down the flow

Ooooooo ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 THISSSS ONE. ☝️ ☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️❤️‍🔥

Transgression is such a pleasure in life. Esp when u transgress WITH your kids. ❤

I need to watch this video three times a day 👋👋🔉

i would love it if you could do a short specifically on your EARS frame work. How it might look when applying it as a parent to your child. Thank you 🙏

I struggle with “going with” when it may cause undue hardship (or in other situations, even harm) to others. In this example, I’m imagining someone who can’t use the stairs at the top of the building on their way to catch a bus, and when they get on the elevator all the buttons are lit and it brings them to every single floor - they miss their bus and have to wait a half hour for the next one, missing their appointment. I know I just made all that up but when you do things like this, you never know the impact it could have on someone else. Or even, what if they want to push all the buttons right this instant but you two aren’t alone in the elevator? The other person on board probably wouldn’t consent to having to stop a bunch of times! I just have trouble justifying even hypothetical hardship when I feel like it could be avoided by maybe engaging enthusiastically in pressing a couple buttons and taking a long elevator ride, but discouraging pressing every single one by trying to explain how it could impact someone else. You know I’m a huge fan of yours and love to apply your principles as much as possible!! I just have a couple setbacks and this is one I’ve been thinking about for a while. What are your thoughts?

We are.practicing non coercive collaborative parentibg for 2.5 years and the other day i was watching my kids and i was feeling this calmness...nobody was forcing anything on anybody, trying to meet all their need and i was just taking a breath and saying it is working...now not every moment is perfect do not get me wrong but we have this calmness inside of us the whole family...that was a beautiful moment to experience even it is not like that.allnthe time..but after a storm.we.go back.to it ..abd even during the storm they feel supported. So than you Vivek again and again because unfortunatly that is not what i learned as a child i learned it from you GPU...

Funny enought i was brought up with traditional parenting and instill rebell agains the rule i think it was really not nice how it was inforced on me and i just think rules are dumb because of that because i was constantly disrespected to.follow.the rule. My husband was respected as a child and he always keep the speed limit, always out the seatbelt on and he generaly has a diffenet relationship with rules he does not think they are dumb he sees they are their for a reason....so.i do not ever make my children obey rules ...because if you say you are making them.obey itncan not be done nice it just can not....indo put a lof of effort to.talk to them.about why we need to do certain things....like there is cartoon Buble.guppy ...and the speed.limit is 7 ...and one dinosaurus run 6 which is in the speed.limit and some 9 which is too.fast and the dino crashed himself....so my.5 year.old understands that without being forced on him.

Yes! I know this is not the point, but I am Happy Because I heard that video also and I was thinking “I don’t Like that, So intrusive”, and you confirmed it! 😂 My son always pushed the buttons (he is 4now, and it looks Like he is over it) and I even hold him So he can reach the highest buttons. This is when we Are alone in elevator, and when we Are not, he never asked to pushed them ❤

Yes!!! You can’t self reflect when you don’t feel safe to do so!! Thank you Vivek!

Did you see a guy has a tour about parenting the title of tour and i love kids but... i had to react on some of the videos like taking the door of because they slammed it....suprisingly there were mainly traditional parenting practicing people i did not blow up the comments...only 1.comment go away...but my approach was gentle like with the kids asking questions like were oh good another gentle parent.welcome back couple of years when they go wild...my.response is what are you afraid of so much that you are willingly hurting your child? No response from a.place full of people.believing in traditional parenting 😏

In my older sons preschool a soccer coach is coming every week and the little people have a free soccer practice. When they were done with the practice the coach takes them back to the changing room and after they changed walks them to the teacher he can not let 5 or 6 years old without supervison. It greatly bothered me that the little friend of my son was started staring at us but only for a sec or 2 because my son wanted to show me something and he got distracted but he wanted to change his shoes he was holding it in his hands just got distracted and the coach is busy i know he has somewhere to be there is no question so he said put on your shoes i am counting back from 5 and then i leave....and starred counting...Adam was in panick he dropped the shoes out of his hand he was in panick mode ....and i watched this happen and it bothered me now for days so much i can not get itnout of my head...he could have handed him the shoe and say hurry up i need to go...see it was even a lie that he was treatening Adam because he can not leave him without supervison obviously ...and he did not needed to be treatened he was cooperating only got distracted a gentle reminder would have been sufficient. Actually the coach traumatized this 6 year old...and when i told my husband he came up with all excuses...like it is his job to keep an order, teach them soccer , he is busy he has somewhere to be which i understand but he could use the same time and just hand him athe shoe like hurry i really have somewhere to be i can not leave you alone ..hurry...he was towering over this boy and treatening instead and even my husband says he did not do anything wrong...like if he says this is the team you did not make it even adult throw a tantrum and he can not let that happen and just excuses for unnecesary disrespectful behavior in my eyes...like they would be spoiled with respect and really bothers me people think it is ok...make excuses for it...just can not get tbis out of my mind i feel it is nkt right i feel.it in my bones you can not tell me it is. We do not use this counting back in our house but it was used by my mother when inwas little i was laughing and deliberatly waiting for last last second.

Vivek, how do we get a session with you? I'd love love to discuss with you a situation that's affecting my family. I want to make the switch, I just can't find a way to do it

I'm just thinking that if I let my daughter do that once she'll be trying to break plates all the time 😂 but oh my gosh, Vivek, I've been sooo not following mindful parenting for a while now I got off track. Every day I seem to be arguing with my 6 year old and it just seems like I'm mostly trying to correct her rude behavior more than anything. The way she talks to people is just terrible and I've been trying hard to stay calm and set the example. Ugh. This stuff is so hard.

Ohhh Vivek!!! Watching this in tears this morning!!! This is the same reaction the kids have as I talk to them about how I feel about most adults (and even myself at times) 🤯 They want soooo badly to have loving adults in their lives. They push them away NOT because they don’t want relationship but because they see what they are receiving is NOT love!

Can you share some responses of what to say so we have an idea of where to start and connect the dots a little easier?