The Take, I love what you guys are doing. Could you please do a video on this topic? The Pregnant Woman trope in horror movies, such as: Women getting impregnated by aliens. Women turning into bloated hives for alien reproduction. A woman giving birth to a demonic child. A woman carrying a baby for an evil cult. Even men getting impregnated by an otherworldly seductress. Misogynist, sexist, rape culture or just pushing a fear of aliens/demons? Is it possible to make a good horror/sci-fi movie without resorting to otherworldly beings impregnating women? Is it possible to make a story arc where the woman that was impregnated, is recovering from this mental scarring?
In my opinion, Aidan dodged a bullet when it came to Carrie. He obviously cared about her way more than she did about him, since she was too hung up on Big to really appreciate him. He later ended up with a woman who really loved him, and three adorable sons, which is a better deal than if he'd stuck with Carrie.
The idea of marrying him repulsed her though. And they had nothing in common. He liked the country and she's a city girl. He wanted lots of kids she didn't want kids. Their fundamental differences were always too much. He was a good guy but that doesn't mean he's the one for her. He was too good for Carrie anyway.
That's true, there was always Big standing between them, so even if Aidan and Carrie HAD ended up together, there's no guarantee that she wouldn't have stopped cheating on him with Big.
@@mundanejane353 Big was toxic as hell and settled for Carrie after he'd smashed all the top models and Natashas. Emotionally unavailable finance guy. Poor choice tbh, but she got what she wanted.
@@yeebler exactly, but it's the question of like, attracts like. At least the toxicity was just between the two of them. God, how she wanted a man like Aidan, do guys like him really exist?
@@vanessaguimaraes01 I've met a few Aidans. They're very emotionally needy behind closed doors and that takes a certain type of woman to cope with long term. Usually overly motherly types
Honestly, Carrie treated him horribly. Hopefully I'll find myself an Aidan because he was truly an amazing partner. Plus the fact that he made his own furniture was just **chefs kiss**
Carrie never wanted growth. Carrie needed therapy very much. So much low self esteem issue. I mean she's willing to be degraded by big to not marry her, turned her into a side ho while he was married, and then dumped her and got back with her. It's insane how he treated her. She loved every minute of it despite complaining because she never learn and never want to learn. She's addicted to the pain and the promise of one day this rich man in manhattan will marry her so she can continue and expand her life of indulgence and no worries about bills.
honestly, carrie treated aidan badly, but he was hardly a saint was he? i hate how aidan is put on a pedestal when he did some pretty bad things himself. he proposed to carrie without discussing marriage with her first, that’s a massive red flag. not to mention when he got back together with her he refused to trust her, it’s very understandable that you wouldn’t trust someone who cheated on you, but if YOU choose to take them back then you have to let go of the past, aidan was continuously punishing carrie for something he claimed he had forgiven her for. just because aidan wasn’t big doesn’t mean he was a good partner, because regardless of everything else that happened, big loved carrie for who she was, aidan didn’t.
Given Carrie's character, Big is the perfect fit. They are both mean, self-sabotaging, emotionally unavailable people who love to have money, travel, pursue ambitious careers and have many nights out on the town.
I see it as the opposite of this video. Aidan is a nice person and deserves to be treated better. Big treats her like his back up at best which is what she deserves.
No! Being with someone you don’t truly want just because “they’re a good guy” NEVER WORKS.… it always leads to heartache because one person is genuinely committed and the other is just going through the motions.
Exactly. When you feel it with someone you know and just trying to make it work with someone cause they seem like the perfect package for stability and security isn’t the same as love. We as women used to need to seek the security of a partner but now in double income family lifestyles, we are free to choose if we want to follow security or passion or both together. My girlfriend was married to a woman who had the stability and lack of complication and I spent six years with a girlfriend who could’ve been good for me if only I was happy with her. For eight years both my partner and I were in the “security” relationships but there was something about one another we could not leave behind no matter the amount of trying, all it did was stave off the inevitable heartbreak of both our partners at the time, but we found our way back to eachother based on the fact that we truly love eachother and feel the best versions of ourselves with eachother, not on emotional and financial security. That’s something we both bring to the table but are together based on that immediate love and passion we felt for eachother when we first met.
I maintain to this day that Carrie was Aiden’s Big. Aiden had no business messing with Carrie. Aiden was attracted to her because she was unattainable. Carrie might have cared for Aiden in a way but she always held back. Aiden knew that and continued to mess with her. When he took her back he knew he was stupid to give her another chance but he did it anyways. I think he meant to use her to work off his anger then leave her broken hearted as she did him. But it didn’t work out like that and he got emotionally involved when she called him out on his punishing of her. When they saw each other in Abu Dhabi I get the feeling that Aiden would have left his wife if he really thought he had a third shot with Carrie. Everyone hates Carrie and Big. Especially these days. They were each other’s match. 🤷🏾♀️
I 💯 agree with you. I always saw Carrie as the Big to Aiden. But he is and was too good for her from the start. Carrie and Big were a match. Big sucks but Carrie also sucks so they belong together.
I certainly don't hate either of them and I quite frankly think it's just incredibly trendy to hate on them at the moment. We always yell for complex, non-perfect characters just to then go ahead and paint them black or white ourselfs and judge them. Some people make Carrie out to be some kind of monster when in reality she ist just a very not perfect person.
Aidan also didn't understand her much. He was pretty traditional in a lot of ways and while theres nothing wrong with it, it certainly didn't fit her. He also seemed fixated on wanting marriage, at one point saying he doesn't want a girlfriend anymore since he's already had so many. He just wanted to settle down and seemed like Carrie was the wrong woman at the right time. I don't think they had chemistry as nearly as people claim tbh. No true deep understanding about each other, just obsession to meet each others needs
"I don't think they had chemistry as nearly as people claim tbh." I think the viewership had hot fantasy chemistry with Aidan. Carrie just wanted to coast with the nice hot guy until Big came back around again.
It was horrible to Carrie whe Big said that he does not want marry again. But when Aiden proposed to her she was rejecting it from the beginning. She treated Aiden like Big treated her in this case.
I’m not sure that Carrie wanted to be understood. Being understood is intimacy. Carrie only understood having to work for love. The truth is that if Mr. Big had loved and valued her from the beginning, she would’ve cast him aside just like Aiden. Ergo the constant drama.
Hard disagree. Aidan was a good guy but he was far from perfect. He was ready to cheat on his wife with Carrie and I wonder how further than a simple kiss he'd have been willing to go if she didn't stop him. He also came across as someone who was more in love with the idea of a family than anything else. Didn't Carrie meet him like a year after they broke up and he already had a baby? Nothing wrong with this obviously but he sure moved on quickly. And considering his wife was the same woman he cheated on it makes you think. Plus, they were totally incompatible. She was a city girl, he was a country guy. He wanted a family more than anything and she later realized she didn't even want kids of her own. He wanted to marry a version of Carrie that wasn't really her, he loved the idea of her more than anything.
Yeah, I agree, I resemble Carrie for many things (no kids, love the city life, want to focus on career etc.) and someone like aidan for me would be boring and too needy. Everyone is different, they weren't a good match.
Right?! Also aiden constantly wanted to change her….Aiden was to Carrie what Carrie was to Big. Aiden romanticized the idea of Carrie like Carrie did with Big. I would also say that Carrie gaslighted herself more than Big gaslighted her. Big always loved her, he just would never live up to her romantic idea of him.
I don't count the movies. I don't think the original character of Aidan written in the series would have cheated on his wife. Movies were for profit and the art was lost.
Could you talk about how media used "flipping burgers" as shorthand for "you failed in life"? The famous "study hard or you'll end up flipping burgers the rest of your life" is not only condescending to the people who do that job, but incredibly relevant now that those employees want to be fairly compensated for their work.
I appreciate your comment so much as somebody who worked in fast food. It's not the hardest job, but it's the one where your constantly overworked, degraded, underpaid by literally everyone
Oh god same here!! Growing up in the 90's and 2000's, I couldn't watch tv or the college Ad without the occasional joke that if you didn't went to college your end up as a "loser" flipping burgers. It's downright disrespecting to people and demeaning to them when some of them already don't enjoy the job because of how much they get harassed by customers. Especially NOW in many working those jobs to cover the cost of a home as well as the lack of staff with Covid. Especially how amusing it is that College culture mock those jobs for being the "only option" without college only for many College graduates to still end up doing those jobs anyway. Even more IRONIC, How Colleges for all their talk about being places of "success" and having a "Real" job and future.. ended up being CORRUPT and shady in how they allowed sexual abuse to go unnoticed, Racist frat house parties and taking bribes and favors by allowing the children of celebrities to graduate without even studying. Yet still acting like the moral high ground while mocking the lower class and their jobs with their "loser jobs" Propaganda.
It also reminds me of “they’re losers who live in their parents basement”….like babe, we’ve lived through two recessions? I don’t blame anyone who needs to live at home for longer than they ‘should’?
I disagree. He was a nice person but the wrong fit. In addition, kids are a dealbreaker if one person doesn`t want them. Also, I think Carrie can be an asshole sometimes. Probably she and big deserve each other.
Also if Aidan understood how much fashion meant to her, he wouldn't have made her lose the outfits. Compromise aside, he wanted Carrie to fit his mold of a partner - enjoying the countryside, being family oriented, taking care of his dog. He's a good man, just not for her in the long run
I think it was a space issue versus modifying her wardrobe. And she did have some pretty ridiculous clothing she only wore once. Why waste premium closet space on something she's just going to pass over in her closet anyway?
This is a great point. And like this one, there were many. It is not that giving up old clothes and being the way Aiden wanted a woman to be was a bad thing, it is just that it wasn’t Carrie, and he didn’t really care about that. He wanted what he wanted and he wanted her to be it. Nice people do that a lot, and we don’t tend to notice that is actually not very nice. The best thing he did for both of them was to walk away. They were not compatible and she was not emotionally mature enough to recognize that at the moment.
@@rodriguezrosa I disagree. He was a nice guy and he wanted a nice girl. He could have brought out the best in Carrie but Carrie was self centred and frankly quite cruel to him.
Is it just me or was Carrie locked in a relationship with a narcissist with Big? Big being the narc and Carrie his co-dependant.It’s almost like SATC was “normalizing” abusive relationships and that’s why it resonated with so many women. If you’ve ever suffered from narcissistic abuse and never healed from it, of course a “normal” healthy relationship is going to look boring and you’ll pass it. That’s exactly what Carrie did to Aiden. Had she been a little smarter and less superficial and self-absorbed, she would have gotten herself into therapy after Big first dissed her to understand why she was accepting garbage treatment from Big instead of obsessing over him.
WOW this is the truth right here, great analysis and I completely agree. Unfortunately this type of narcissist codependent relationship has been normalized for decades in media for women and it has had a terrible impact.
because carrie is a terrible role model for women. she has low self esteem. constantly going back to the guy who never saw her as good enough to marry. always uses her like a sex toy, then married someone socially respectable. and then cheated on that wife with carrie cause she's always there. then when he got too old, he wants someone too dumb to cheat on him - guess who's there? carrie.
Sounds right. However one can say that Carrie not only became self absorbed and superficial after everything with Big. She has always been like that. I would claim that Carrie is and has always been a narcissist too!
Hard disagree with this video. Aidan is for sure the overall “better guy” but Big was better for Carrie. She would never be happy with Aidan long term. They had very different interests and goals in life.
no one wants to acknowledge that carrie bradshaw as a character is problematic. because she is solidified in mainstream culture as "the modern woman of the 90s era". she's drawn to toxic relationship dynamics, sabotage healthy relationships and hide under the "im a free spirited modern woman who deserves what i deserve". no sis. you needed therapy because of your low self esteem and you propped mr big as some ideal guy when he treated her like trash time and time again. watch the series AND the movie. that is not a good person. he constantly humiliated her and ditched her season after season...and in the movie he got cold feet. and then suddenly everyone is supposed to forgive him like it's acceptable when he wanted to marry her again for realsies. LMAO
Neither was good for Carrie because Carrie was toxic herself and the true purpose of Big and Aiden was suppose to show Carrie she could be healthy and happy alone with her friends, but the show instead gave us a false toxic idea a fairytale. Even in the original book Carrie was never suppose to stay with big.
@@nerdfantasyxox agree. I personally think the best resolution would have been for Carrie to stay single (for a while at least, while she grew up a little)
aidan represents a healthy partner, someone with whom a relationship is easy and dramafree. the fact that she crushes this to chase someone who negs her is just unimaginable
Actually it’s very imaginable cause a lot of women want the ‘bad guy’ cause life with him offers excitement and constant adventure ebenthough it’s also very hurtful. They love the intensity of those feeling they feel with the ‘bad guy’. They want their bad guy to embody those ‘husbsnd material’ traits while still keeping hisv’bad guy aura’. Ofc it’s insane, but that happens a lot actually
It’s a sign of CPTSD and unresolved trauma and abuse, usually at the hands of a narcissist. Carrie had Big-time unresolved issues. Someone like that will usually let the healthy guy go because their “normal” is to be in a drama-laden relationship. Healthy is abnormal.
@@georgeprchal3924 yes it has been normalized by the media especially in the 90s and early 00s and many women unconsciously look to media for advice on boundaries in their own relationships, see the connection?
@@georgeprchal3924 lol exactly- most partnerships are dysfunctional and we shouldn't be taking them as good examples. That's why analysis like The Take are amazing as really break down all this media into case studies.
I have been learning about attachment theory and To me Carrie was a fearful avoidant, big was dismissive avoidant, and Aiden was secure. Big made Carrie lean into her anxious side and Aiden pushed her into her avoidant side. Big created and addiction with his intermittent reinforcement (hot/cold) behaviors and because her programming said she had to "earn" love Big was familiar and known to her it was her comfort zone to be pushed away and have to earn love. Aiden made her feel like he was boring because he didn't make her earn his love and that was wrong for Carrie not familiar. She wanted love but was terrified of it at the same time. Big didn't push her for commitment so in that sense it felt safe. Aiden was better of with someone more secure, as Carrie would have been too volatile for him.
I’ve totally thought about the attachment theory with these characters as well! But I never felt like Aiden was secure attachment, I felt like he was also anxious attachment! This is why: Aiden sets up smoking as a “test” for Carrie’s loyalty, if she smokes he leaves and can moralize it/justify that loss to himself as her loss of him, she didn’t see HIS value, it’s a “if you love me enough you’ll do what I want” ultimatum. Even his not having sex with Carrie, he majorly gaslighted Carrie about that, he sort of made her feel guilty for having wanted it. The way he did it and accused her of not being “romantic” felt more like gaslighting and shaming to me than genuine, had he been more authentic about his fears of early sex in a relationship I would have bought it, but he made Carrie feel shame for wanting early sex with him. I also see his desire to keep Carrie in the house with him as anxious attachment, although less obviously depicted as an anxious attachment motivation in the show this is often an example used to describe anxious attachment (the men keeping their women hidden/wanting to keep them at home). Aiden pushing so hard for Carrie and him to move in together, despite Carrie’s obvious discomfort, (I feel like the show punctuates this insecurity by showing his tantrum over her finding his hair care for the balding). His insulting her clothes, which is an extension of Carrie’s personality, is like him trying to muffle Carrie’s special-ness. When he takes her back after she has cheated on him his anxious attachment style totally got more pronounced but I think it was always there. I think Aiden was just as anxious attachment as Carrie, we just got less of his point of view, and we’re also more comfortable with (even romanticize) male avoidant attachment. With Big, I actually kind of think Big was a huge nerd that loved Carrie but wasn’t as cerebral as Carrie? So Carrie’s interpretations of what Big was doing was what we saw but if you isolate the act from Carrie’s interpretation it wasn’t always evil. For example when she wouldn’t get in the car with big in their ?first breakup? Because she wanted him to love her but he wasn’t ready to yet, she was interpreting it as “it’s never going to happen,” totally unhealthy, and Big just wasn’t their yet. That being said Big checking out other women…Big was an idiot with that, no unvillifying that. I can also totally see Big as dismissive attachment, I always interpreted Big as secure attachment (while Carrie neurotic-ed around him) but you’re right! There is dismissiveness there!
@@brittanyswanson361 Wow really interesting and a flip on the patterns I had first thought. I think Carrie and Big did have a lovely chemistry with their sense of humour and I think that was quite cerebral and Aidan never really shared that with her.
i don’t understand how anybody who watched the show can have this opinion, carrie treated aidan badly and aidan didn’t respect carrie for who she was, he proposed without EVER discussing marriage- huge red flag! he was not the one, they were not right for each other.
I think it just shows Carrie isn't actually built for long-term stable relationships. She dream's of it because she buys into the Disney stuff like everyone else. But she personally finds greater fulfillment in the chase of a guy who isn't emotionally and sometimes physically available. What she actually wants and what she tells herself and others she wants are completely different. She's just almost never truly honest with herself and that's why nothing ever really works out for her.
Carrie was with Aiden, because she knew he was the kind of man she SHOULD want to be with. Big however was her true North that her internal compass kept leading her back to because he represented the unfinished business (rejection) from her father when he left when she was just 3. Think of the scene when Big gets engaged to Natasha and Carrie confronts him in the street saying "why wasn't it me?". She might as well have been asking her dad "why did you leave?"
Problem HERE what none of you are looking at realistically is REMEMBER when Carrie ran into Aiden sometime later, after they broke up the 2nd time, and found him married with little Baby "Tot?? Obviously Aiden wanted babies, a family-- the normal domestic life! Carrie NEVER wanted that! As I remember, wasn't it discussed that Carrie had an abortion in her 20's?? Carrie never wanted kids! So even if she HAD married Aiden, she wouldn't have wanted children- but obviously Aiden DID! So how well would THAT marriage have worked? NOT!
There is an episode in one of the earlier seasons, where Carrie and Stanford visit Stanford's grandmother. She shows Carrie her family pictures and asks her if she wants a family, to which Carrie replies yes. So, Carrie probably could have wanted to have kids with the right partner, which was why she also had to consider whether Petrowski's vasectomy was a deal breaker.
@@Spicie95 No, she didn't want children. She just thought she will at some point, as that's what society tells women to want. She discusses this with Charlotte in season 6 and it comes up again in the second film. You also forget, that she was playing a part when she was visiting Stanford's grandmother and told her what she thought she wanted to hear.
@@silentsaturn7604 She didn't not want kids, she just didn't have to have them - there is a difference. When she and Big got married, they were too old to deal with a kid and Big most likely didn't them. Some people don't have an opinion on whether they want kids, they just do or don't have any.
@@Spicie95 They explicitly say in the film that they discussed it and decided against it. They were also not too old, Carrie was still in her 30s when they got together and they're rich anyway, so the nanny would do all the heavy lifting. I'm not sure what point you're trying to make.
@@silentsaturn7604 As YOU point out here, THEY discussed it. Carrie and Big did not want children as part of THEIR relationship. This is surely in relation to them as a couple and not indicative of whether Carrie might have at another point with another partner wanted to have children. Some people must have children; other people don't want to have children; and some people want to keep the door open as a possibility if they ever want to have children. Carrie was in the last category for a good part of the series. The possibility of her having children was always on in the show, but she always considered her partner at the time. She didn't think she could raise a baby with Big because she felt she might have to do it alone, and she had to seriously consider her relationship with Pertrovski in order to find peace with herself as a childfree person. So again, she didn't NOT want to have children ever, she just ended up with a partner with whom she didn't want children, so she never had any. It is perfectly normal. If Carrie had felt at peace in her relationship with Aidan, she probably would have wanted to have a child with him, since he would made a good and dependable father, unlike Big would have. And they were too old when they got together, when it came to dealing with a child. It took Big years to learn how to be a good partner, so it would have taken him additional time to learn how to be a parent. They didn't move in together before the first movie, and Carrie still struggled with the two of them alone together, because she kept wondering whether she should have had a child, which is part of her character arc in the second movie. My point is that not every person in the world makes decisions about their future, in case their life goes in a different direction.
One thing! Just one thing! Please tell IT to me: WHY tf do I have so many fans even though no UA-camr is unprettier than I am? WORLDWIDE!!!! WHY??? Tell me, dear key
It always baffled me why Aidan, who had a successful carpentry business, a beautiful wife and three sons, would choose to kiss Carrie in the second movie. He deserved more than to be swept up in her constant drama.
@@loiracitr Steve's number of sexual partners is in the 3 digit region and he dropped his long term girlfriend in the blink of an eye, as soon as Miranda gave him the go ahead. He also broke up with Miranda, when he couldn't handle her making more money than him. Clearly sex is super important to him and he isn't always Mr Nice guy either. People need to take off their rose tinted glasses and appreciate the characters for what they are, flaws and all.
It doesn't make sense for the story. But they have to bring back the hit characters in order to make money. And the first movie had sucha big event, Carrie's wedding. They had to have something seemingly earth-shattering about Carrie's love life for the second movie too. So they brought him back because he was a fan favourite and long time viewers wouldn't have hated him for kissing Carrie or would've excused Carrie for kissing him. It's obviously about milking a cash cow. The cast could've settled for being in a show that did a lot of progress for women, but they were like let's get this bag and agreed to be in movies and a reboot. All that has done is make younger, smarter and more progressive audiences watch the show and call out how problematic the show, and the movies are. Now everyone thinks the show is awful and the characters are awful human beings and are not really into watching a shitty reboot. I'm glad Kim Catrall had the good sense to not come back because anyways her character was always treated harshly and still remained a good friend and she knew her character would be butchered whether she stayed on in the reboot or not. And look what they did, they made her out to be a petty money minded snake that she IS NOT and Carrie victimized herself as usual.
If you ask me, based on the videos I’ve seen on this franchise, she seems like an anxious avoidant in desperate need of therapy. Her best ending would have been had she chosen to be alone and to go in therapy and therefore heal and realize how she hurt others in the past etc etc. Then her choosing a love interest would work. In the meantime she is stuck in a rut - a toxic pattern doomed to repeat her past mistakes. Also, without having watched the movie where big dies, that sounds like the best thing that could have possibly happened to her - now she is forced to be single and confront her issues!!!
One thing that always gets messed up in the explanation of Big versus Aidan is that Big was always very clear about him not wanting to be in a relationship. Carrie would always try to pressure him into being somewhere he was not ready to be. If a guy did that to a female, the conversation would be VERY different
@@SuperBrianMak It would be nice if anything about the Carrie/Aidan relationship had been about meeting Aidan's needs and not always toxic Carrie's restlessness and sense of entitlement. It's pathetic that they even had to insinuate nearly two decades later that he would be happy leaving his dream wife and family who love him for old, used up Carrie if he had the chance. Just leave it alone already, Carrie isn't all that. I believe even Aidan would be able to determine that by now.
@@strandedinseattle9931 I'm not sure what you mean by "Aidan's needs," but Carrie said yes when he proposed, and she let him not only move in with her but BUY HER APARTMENT when it went Co-op. What more was she to do? She stopped smoking for him, she liked his dog despite not being fond of animals, and was even willing to compromise with him when it came to going to his cabin upstate (although I did think it was cruel when she threw his plant away at the end of "The Good Fight" episode 😄🌱). And the fact she made mistakes and had different needs and interests didn't make her "toxic" (no matter how shallow and vain they may seem to us, the viewers). We all ought to grow out of incessant labeling with that word.
That was an interesting point I hadn't noticed before, and I'm sure that was the intention with how Emily's arc ended in Friends, but I don't think the execution of that arc makes it a good example. I get the impression that the change of Emily from sweet and loving to bitter and distant had to happen quicker than planned (because the actress got pregnant and had to leave the show), but even at her worst I find it hard to judge any of her actions. The way she was acting towards the end of her arc was very fitting with someone who had gone through that kind of humiliation and now trying to salvage a marriage out of almost nothing, with someone she couldn't trust on the other side of the ocean. To be honest I'm still surprised that after the wedding (and honeymoon flight incident) she even spoke to Ross at all.
SATC works more as Big's story than Carrie's. He goes through the same change as Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda. Failed relationships with the person who seemed perfect, ageing, his body failing him-heart surgery, all this leads him to finding love with the person whom he previously underestimated.
But Big didn’t want to go out in the evenings with Carrie either. They argued about it in the movies. Maybe they settled it by agreeing that Carrie would go out with friends instead (as she did to Lily’s concert). But this still seemed like a sacrifice Carrie was making to keep her marriage.
Aidan’s attempts to control Carrie got on my last nerve. He’s not a modern man who has enough confidence to be accepting of what his partner needs. The best sign of who he really is was when he tried to make room for HIS STUFF in the apartment by tossing out CARRIE’S STUFF. IN HER OWN CLOSET!
While I appreciate the growth argument, and generally agree with it, I don't think you have to "end up with" or marry the person who challenges you to demonstrate how you've grown. I think a more powerful ending would have been Carrie and Aiden ending things, and Carrie going on to show the small ways she's transformed while living a happy, fulfilling single life. If anything, she was always the worst *friend* of the group, and on a show that was (supposedly) about friendship, it would have been nice to see her take some of the lessons she learned from Aiden and extend that grace to Miranda, Charlotte, and especially Samantha. (Since Samantha was always ten times the friend to Carrie that Carrie was to her.)
@@silentsaturn7604 She felt entitled to a portion of Charlotte's divorce settlement even though she made her own terrible financial decisions; she judged Samantha for the delivery guy situation very harshly, even though Samantha didn't judge her for having a whole *affair* with a married man; she sent Aiden to help Miranda when she was naked and just slipped a disk. (And yes, Aiden was physically stronger than Carrie, but the issue was needing the support of your closest friend). That's just one example per friend. You can think Carrie was a good friend, but one can certainly watch the show and come away thinking she wasn't.
@@silentsaturn7604 - not true. I've seen the entire series from start to back about 20+ times, and I always felt like Carrie was a horrible friend. The attention always needed to be on her (always bringing the conversation back to her own situation/issues), she judged even when her friends did not (I.e. chastising Charlotte for not giving her thousands of dollars for her apartment, judging Samantha for blowing the FedEx guy when Sam had absolutely no judgement when Carrie cheated on Aiden with big), etc. Etc. Etc. The two movies and new series just highlight this even more. Big dies and it's the only thing that matters - totally dismisses the worry Charlotte has for Miranda's drinking and says, "big died, that's a problem" or something like that. So toxic.
@@mr.m2545 facts. I strongly agree. Having watched the show and movies..Carrie was a terrible friend and a terrible person altogether. Her happy ending should have been growing with her friends but Hollywood never would allow that. God forbid a woman doesn't end up with a man to be happy lol
@@silentsaturn7604 No. I've watched this show countless times over the last 14 years. Carrie is regularly a bad friend. You might just have low standards for friendship.
Why is anyone better than someone else. Aiden wasn’t for Carrie (he’s not better than Carrie). Mr.Big was for Carrie (they were suited for each other). We are just not used to seeing this honest reflection of a woman and her choices. This idea that the only way of life is to be married with children as the better deal is wrong. Carrie got what she wanted, and what worked for her simple. She didn’t want to “evolve” she is fine being who she is. “Growth opportunities” nah she likes who she is, all grown up. A very real character.
@@bibianaguadalupeislasherre9880 A lot of internalized sexism. A woman shouldn't "deserve" to be alone (unless it's what she truly wants) because she isn't perfect and makes mistakes.
Aidan is the perfect guy if there ever was one. He is sensitive, supportive, empathetic person. He is a simple un-complicated guy who represents an easy, simple and un-complicated relationship. John (Big) is a complicated guy, with complex emotional baggage. He strikes a chord with Carrie who is the same. Though she has good camaraderie with Aidan but it's all fireworks with Big. One thing that proves to me that Carrie and Big are the One for each other is actually a scene between Carrie and Aidan, when he proposes and almost forces her to marry him or the relationship ends there. Though Carrie wants the life of simplicity and lack of toxicity with Aidan but she most wants (in my opinion) is to be herself, to embrace herself fully (both quirks and toxiz traits)... So finally it's BIG. With Mr. Big, she's truly herself and truly happy without the pressure to pretend, so it's always been Carrie and Big for me. Both Carrie and Big ultimately grow together and find stability, happiness and consistency together.
please. fireworks? carrie is a woman who needed therapy because she's constantly drawn to toxic dynamics in a relationship. there's always something wrong with the guys when it was going well.
I've always thought Carrie was more attracted to Big's status & wealth vs his character. Big treated Carrie like a side project he reluctantly took on.
Yeah agreed, the "soulmate" claim seemed so contrived. She's attracted to status, money and being indulged like a spoiled brat. But to be fair, marrying Aiden would have never worked since he desperately wanted kids.
THIS. she degraded herself and humiliated herself for him in hopes that one day she becomes someone of status and influence in society. Her nickname for him is Mr Big for gods sake. Thsts a big catch for someone who has big ambitions to rise up in manhattan's High society
Just because a guy is nice and seemingly “perfect” does not mean he’s perfect for you. That doesn’t mean chase broken men. Carrie and Aiden had different values and goals, it wouldn’t have worked out long term.
Che is really not written like a 3D character, though. More like an odd collection of internet memes the writers think "woke" non binaries sound like. And a not very likeable one at that.
Seriously? That sucks. I mean, they put a non-binary character only to just make them a collection of memes and 'woke' phrases :( This is why I'm hesitating to watch AJLT series. I have HBO Max and still wonder..should I waste/spend time to watch it or not....
@@tracys169 The series does have some good stuff. Including what seems like a non binary child of one of the main characters. Or possibly trans. But if you are non binary yourself, you may feel very irritated with the depiction of Che.
@@tracys169 Che is a comedian and POD cast host, she's a larger than life character, it makes sense for her to be the way she is. She can be abrasive at times but that doesn't make her a bad character, that just who she is. People just dislike her cause they blame her for Miranda breaking up with Steve and cause they want her to represent every non binary person in the world, which is set up to fail.
Carrie was hooked on the drama and convinced herself that the ups and downs are synonymous with sparks, to paraphrase Attached. When I was 20- years old, I thought the Carrie/Big will they won’t they was terribly romantic and genuinely felt like it justified my own toxic on-again-off-again that really destroyed both my self-esteem and my relational self for a long time. 10+ years later, I look back and wish I’d had someone shake me. Carrie and Aiden had different values and priorities, so in the long run they would not have been a good match, but she could have used a handsome socialite type who also happened to be willing to commit to her, consistently demonstrate that he was in it for the long haul, and was secure enough to prioritize communicating his uncertainties about their wedding instead of running away as a 50+ year old man. What Carrie really needed was a LOT of therapy.
big did nit magically transform - in the second movie , we could see him settling down and becoming a more calm, rational kind of partner - becoming almost boring - carrie wasn't doing that yet, At the end of that movie, for the first time in the entire run of the story, she learns something! So it makes sense that 15 years later the two would have settled into a more stable, grown up lifestyle and relationship.
Ah, once Aidan decided that he wanted to be emotionally abusive to Carrie when he took her back, he was no longer the good guy. I always said that people are not paying attention to the story and putting their own desires on Carrie instead noticing what’s going on. There were SEVERAL signs that Carrie and Aiden were never going to work. He was outdoorsy, loved natures. Carrie rather go shopping and hang out at a cafe. Aiden hated her smoking and pushed Carrie into quitting when she wasn’t ready. Carrie had to change too much of herself with Aiden and it was driving her lack of commitment. Like Carrie knew Aiden was many women considered the perfect guy but he was not the one FOR HER. Carrie was deadass wrong cheating on Aiden though and should had broken off things before it gotten to that point. HOWEVER, it didn’t give the right for Aiden to treat her like crap when they decided to give a second go. He should’ve never agreed to get back with Carrie if the resentment against her was still very present no matter how much he loved her. A lot of shit he did could be classified as abusive behavior and it baffled me people still see him as a perfect candidate for Carrie after that. And yes, I know they technically cheated during the second movie with that kiss, but it happen to make Carrie realized how much committed she was for Big and she didn’t feel the way as she cheated Big while being with Aiden because she actually loves Big and didn’t need a high-octane, super dramatic violate romance relationship and can be happy in a “boring” relationship. Now, I didn’t see And Just Like That yet so I don’t have any final conclusion to their relationship.
i agree, and it's interesting that this video uses him treating her like that as a footnote and not really a main point, when it is a huge deal. he also pretty much admits he proposed to have control over her. they were both flawed and so not right for each other, they were both trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.
I never completely thought about how screwed up it was for Aidan to take her back. He knew he was still that upset with her and still used that against her. Carrie was right that it wasn't fair to take her back if he wasn't going to forgive her. Thanks for the reminder of this. Aidan isn't a horrible guy, but he's far from perfect.
@@Aster_Risk I feel like in a way, people like Aiden are worse than Big. With Big, isn't it mostly what you see is what you get? He's a wealthy playboy who is comfortable and stubborn in his lifestyle. Like wasn't he always pretty upfront about what he's willing to give and for better or worse letting Carrie know to not expect anything more? I feel like irl so many more women would buy into Aiden's traditional, down to earth image because he promotes qualities like security, loyalty, devotion, but after they're married they might find out he's emotionally petty or vindictive and not the perfect dependable man they were swept away by.
Looking back through nostalgia yes Aiden was the one but upon rewatching the series with fresh eyes, Aiden was the one for someone else. Aiden and Carrie, was not it. If Aiden happened to meet Charlotte first, that may have been a better match. Not first marriage Charlotte but after Trey I could have seen a life with them working.
Aiden was truly too good for Carrie and Mr. Big and Carrie were more like ‘soul mates’ in that they are both rather shallow and more suited for each other.
Carrie never cared to do the deep exploration of her attachment trauma, which would reveal she is an anxious attacher, while Big is avoidant. She is trained to love drama (like many people are, I can relate). Their happily ever after was only possible if they established the secure attachment, but we never saw how they did it. Period.
The question is: What did Aidan love about Carrie? What did he see in her? You need common interests for a relationship. They didn't share a single one.
@@animaltriste91 he wanted to say to himself he got an unconventional woman to be conventional, they never trusted or liked each other for who they were.
Not necessarily. There isn't a one-size-fits-all approach to relationships. I think the problem is that Carrie didn't even try to appreciate what Aidan liked.
Aidan was the perfect man for home, family, and fidelity. Carrie is too self-involved to raise a family and could not even be bothered with a pet. She wants endless party, the permanent Daddy Warbuck's little girl. Her preference in men is reflected in her choice of shoes. Like her man, her shoes are all about conspicuous consumption and impractical for the long haul. She didn't want to walk along Aidan's path. She wanted to hitch a ride with Big, to wear his life as if he was a pair of shoes. Aidan is the type of man who needs a wife and Carrie is not capable. Big never needed a wife. He can afford to keep Carrie as a pet, because he finds her amusing and is immune to her tantrums.
I haven't yet watched this video - though I definitely will - but the idea that someone can be "the one" when you clearly don't love them as much as you love a former partner, no matter how good they are for you, is really preposterous to me and I do not understand why this agenda keeps getting pushed. Carrie would've been selfish in the extreme to settle down with Aidan when she just didn't love him the way she loved Big.
When you can't be authentic with your present partner, why are you even wasting their time? You are correct, she was very selfish pretending through most of their relationship, she should have broken it off early on when she was feeling iffy about it all. There was a chance to remain friends before crushing his heart and spirit. But she used him to not feel alone because he continually fed her ego and took care of her, plus he was hot.
I'm glad someone addressed this. I always thought Aiden was the one that got away. Yes, he was too good for her. Part of me always justified the break up with the thought that he was too good to be true. As I've grown from 9 year old to 32 years old, spanning the entirety of the series, I now know that a sensible Aiden-type is possible. I wish she would have chosen him, but he was not her type.
Carrie was the one! She had everything in her to be happy, and she should have looked inwards and found value and love from within. Once she is able to do that - then its easy to be happy with others around you - and when you find someone similar, who has worked considerably on themselves - look inwards, and have started to truly accept themselves as is, and love them - then its easier to make things work. In reality, the only person who got away with true love in the show is Samantha. She sees men because she wants to see them, not because she needs to see them.
No, Aidan was definitely not the One. He was attracted to Carrie for the same reason she was attracted to Big - the excitement & the chase. They THOUGHT they wanted commitment, but they actually only wanted the feeling of euphoric love, which is not what commitment actually is. Carrie shouldn't have ended up with Big, either, though.
I think the problem is that many women learn from an early age that love means pain, being hurt and chase the man that is not available for them. That's a pattern. That's a toxic twist of love. So when a man comes who really cares for them, commits to them, is there for them etc. they think it's boring. Healthy love does not mean pain, it does not mean chasing, does not mean playing games.
neither were right for her. they both helped her grow (as well as hindered her). she needs to be with someone that's an aidan-big mix. maybe the teacher guy in AJLT?
Aidan is happy with her furniture designer wife, they have 3 kids and created a company that they manage together. They are a power couple, happy and she helped him heal from Carrie. That's my happy ending untill the And Just Like That writers come and destroy it :):):)
Aidan was too soft and forgivable. It's not the lack of drama that turned Carrie away from him, it's his lack of self-respect. She got away with every shit she put him through. She was always so resistant towards him, and it's mind blowing he was able to forgive her. The worst thing was when Carrie asked Aidan to become friends with Big, the person she cheated him with. What a twisted psychological torture. Their meeting in the woods was just depressing and that's when Aidan was finally lost for me. Carrie needed a partner who could confront her attitude. She and Big were worth each other, both selfish and childish, sharing the same views on relationship, cheating, children, money and lifestyle. She ruined Aidan's life and it's absurd to think he was the one for her. He was a nice guy but for someone else.
Yes, I guess he'd be the right for her if she did a lot of therapy and become more mature, not this superficial, and developed real values in life. Yes, Big and her are immature, childish and materialistic. The question is if you want Carrie to stay this way or wish her development. Aiden is right for a mature woman with values who does not need childish drama in her life. Obviously it's not Carrie. In this state Big is the right man for her.
She loves the drama AND the promise if marrying a very rich man in manhattan's upper society so she can live up her fantasies of making it and living fashionably in manhattan's. She was technically doing that before big but she was heavily in debt.
Carrie was a fictional sacrificial lamb for society to see this type of situation really happen in real life - people do really behave like this. And is as normal as it is tragic. the first SITC for better or for worst has become a GOOD example to NOT FOLLOW. For the real people out there who are being toxic to others, SITC has become a tool for society to be introspective and self-compassion to stop stunting our own growth.
Now I wonder if Aidan will make an appearance in And Just Like That. Also, I wonder if Miranda's relationship with Che is really just an affair because Miranda needs challenge and it comes in the form of romance to prove how relevant she is as a well-intended ally she is constantly trying to perform for, which, is not what Che wants. Still, if Miranda is in a midlife sexual orientation awakening, it's poorly written.
@@silentsaturn7604 I don't think Miranda needs a slap, I think Che and Nya need to account her, because Michael Patrick King doesn't know how to respect Black and Brown peoples' emotional labor to write otherwise. Chances are, it will play off like it's a good thing. And Just Like That, that is when people will know the show is a reboot of SATC.
Aidan was trying to change Carrie from the first minute. He never loved Carrie for what she was, he was just obsessed with the idea of having a girlfriend, and certain kind at that.
In And Just like That... we see that it's okay with Big that Carrie has her own things and goes out without him. This video kinda of suggest that not wanting to get married to one guy and have that kind of marriage means you don't want to get married at all, no matter what the marriage looks like. It drives both Carrie and Aidan nuts to be in such a small apartment together. But that isn't even a concern with Big because it's not the only option. Big gives her space while still getting a partner.
Everyone legit forgets Aiden bamboozled Carrie out of 40k. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 He offered her to keep the ring without explaining SHES need to use it for the down payment, she GAVE IT BACK. He TOOK IT. He obviously returned it for the money, meaning there was the money he had put down for the down payment, evicted Carrie anyway and ended up taking the money from Charlotte’s engagement ring! LMFAO. The dude was passive aggressive, victim playing Thanos, collecting all the rings. And was married with a kid after telling Nina Katz he could never open up to a woman again, but still boning her….. Within a few months if bamboozling Carrie for 40k. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 and women really call him good. 🤣🤣🤣 He was boring, never liked Carrie’s lifestyle, only wanted to be married…. Absolutely did not deserve to be cheated on OF COURSE, but Carrie started that affair only WEEKS into knowing Aiden and before they were serious. The true victim isn’t hat whole situation was Natasha, obviously. But Carrie confessed to Aiden. Because it was the right thing to do. He dumped her, totally his right. But then when he took her back he was NUTS. Super passive aggressive and weird and was using his employee as a sexual pawn, just abjectly awful. Also WHY THE HELL DID HE GO INTO BUSINESS WITH SOMEONE CARRIE INTRODUCED HIM TO? This dude had enough money to have on hand TWO DOEN PAYMENTS FOR TWO UES APARTMENT LMFAO. He needed a broke bartender from queens as a business partner like we need another hole in our ass! He did it to ingratiate himself back into Carrie’s life and then BAMBOOZLE HER FOR 40k if she did t agree to marry him! How are we SOOOO GASLIT AS TO SEE THIS AS OK? Big sucks! What big did to Natasha is an atrocity and he knows it which is why he left her a million dollars. But bit would have given Carrie the money MO STRINGS ATTACHED. No strings attached! Bro if Carrie had wanted to become a landlord boy would have bought her a building No strings attached! INSTEAD Aiden bamboozled her for 40k. Deranged.
Is there a single woman that used to watch it back then that would disagree with that ? lol I love Carrie but she didn't deserve him, "YOU BROKE MY HEART !" that scene
@@BellaRainDrops He was emotionally manipulative and wanted to change Carrie to fit his lifestyle. He didn't appreciate her for her, but what he thought he could make her. I don't hate Aidan, but people do give him a pass for certain bad behavior because Big is so much worse.
@@Aster_Risk Big put Carrie though the ringer, but he wasn't as bad as everyone makes him out to be. If anything, he was just slow to commit fully to her in the early seasons and didn't know what he wanted. He loved being a bachelor, his freedom, and, of course, Sundays with his mom. Carrie saw him as someone she wanted more with because of his charisma and charm, and he couldn't give that to her right away - because he had his own growing up to do.
Aidan should thank the gods everyday he didn’t get stuck with that self absorbed, selfish Carrie. Big died young but Aidan will live a long contented life.
I don't think it's Carrie that caused Big's death, or even contributed to it. She's actually a delight to be around, her worst qualities are insecurity and neuroticism which Big usually brought out and accentuated. She'd even quit smoking in solidarity with him because he should never do that. Big smoked a lot, and had an actual heart condition that was set up on SaTC back in the ole days. His heart was not gonna take all of that. It's a lot.
Hot take: I don’t think any one these two men were her soulmates and I think they just propagate the idea of the fun emotionally unavailable guy vs the good boring guy. Big was unavailable and they’re relationship toxic. Aidan and Carrie had nothing in common they had to both compromise too much to feel “compatible”.
I love this interpretation that includes the choice to grow or not grow. It’s so relatable. Maybe she felt a deep need to create her romantic life as one would create the ending, Which is ultimately a solitary activity? If the creative process is to follow both relationships, they would be two very different processes. Woodworking you must measure twice before cutting. In fiction writing, the story takes on a life of it’s own. Big just seemed to offer more creativity and expression, and maybe more aligned to who she was as an artist. whereas life with Aiden was too predictably pre-formed and less creative for a writer.
I mean, yes and no... not every woman wants to be a wife/mother and be all the time in the presence of each other. To me, personally, it is not so much a problem that C and A don't end up together. I see it as a learning opportunity for her that she doesn't feel as comfortable in a more traditional relationship as she thinks initially. My personal problem with the storyline is that she then turns back to Big, and he is THE ONE... I would have liked to see her evaluate what she liked about each of the boys... and then (equipped with the knowledge of what she truly desires from a relationship) find a guy who is like... well, kind of in the middle... I guess. I don't like that her takeaway is "well, I just like drama; Big is drama; Therefore I like Big."
I like when he came back to the show and they basically shaded him by having Charlotte say, "He just needs to get rid of the turquoise rings and the tummy." 😂
I disagree with this, when u say carry should change to fit with Aidan, because Biggs wont change to fit her. Her friends thought they wanted one thing and realized they actually didnt want that, they wanted to love and be loved with someone who is comfortable for them despite the idea they/and society put in their heads what an ideal man is. With Carrie it was different, if she could choose she would not love big and be with aiden instead, to be with aiden she would have to change her values and not let go of self imposed limitations or lack of self knowledge like it was with her friends.
Aidan wanted her to change everything about herself and that is much more unhealthy than her relationship with Big. In the end she had a happy marriage with Big. I absolutely agree with you and always say these things.
@@rolandbaldwin This. While Aidan wanted her to grow, it's not something she should have been pushed into. Healthy changes is not something you do for a partner, it's something you do for yourself.
@@FabalociousDee Exactly. This is my point about him. He was lowkey shady the way he forced these changes on her. He was just as bad as Big was initially. Obviously a 13 year marriage seems to have proved everyone wrong.
@@rolandbaldwin Not really. Initially he only wanted her to change her smoking habit but he changed his mind even with that once he realized he really loved her. He was always willing to compromise, even when she would want him to be less available to her, he did exactly that. He never wanted to change her, he only wanted her to remain true and faithful to him, as he was with her, and stop seeing Big because they both knew that Big was Carrie's weak spot. Helping someone grow and try to see more options in life, doesn't mean they want to change the person.
Plus, going with that logic that the person who wants to change you, isn't the one for you, Carrie always wanted to change Big. She even said Aidan acted exactly how she *wanted* Big to act. She was never satisfied with Big's treatment of her but it was a force stronger than her to go back to him. Thankfully, he did settle down and become less toxic, because if they kept up the turbulent dynamic they had in the series, they wouldn't have worked as a married couple for long.
The writers of AJLT basically wrote a fan fiction. They destroyed the characters we love and didn’t hire the correct writers to speak for the characters we fell in love with.
I never saw SATC on first run, but did binge season one when the first movie came out. My first thought was Carrie had BPD and daddy issues, probably because she was raised by a neglectful mother. This was confirmed by the season where she worked at Vogue and later the marriage to Big in the movie. 1. There's never any mention of any of Carrie's family members until the fourth season. We meet members of Charlotte's and Miranda's families. Even Samantha talks about her alcoholic father and her mother being tied down with three kids. Carrie briefly mentions being raised by a single mom to her fatherly Vogue editor. And she acts like a helpless child when dealing with Enid. Enid expects an adult writer who can do the job, but Carrie practically whines I don't wanna. 2. Big presents as the daddy who she desperately wants attention from but can never get. His wealth is that protective cocoon most children take for granted. And when she can't get it/him she throws tantrums. Look at the wedding in the movie. Does she really need to be humiliated because he got cold feet and then realized he really did want to marry her? A serious discussion, and a possuble postponement, would have been the mature thing to do. Nope. Yell and beat him with her bouquet is Carrie's reaction. Then have her friends be mommy because daddy doesn't love her. Ugh. 3. She LOVES the drama. Pick a scene from any episode and she's having some kind of emotional blow up with her latest love interest. Getting involved with an alcoholic who hasn't been sober for a full year? Yep, dive in head first and then when in spirals out of control, she's got a drunk guy tearing his clothes off in front of her apartment. Or her harping on "the scrunchie" to the point of alienating Berger? Or trying to turn a noncommittal sex buddy into a boyfriend and having it go wrong? All so she can feel the wound of dad not being there. 4. Basing her relationship with Aidan on lies. Lying about being an interior designer on first meeting. Lying about the smoking. Lying about her feelings and later affair with Big. Aidan was all in but Carrie couldn't because her lies were too many. Is it any wonder that Aidan was crushed and spent a month in bed dealing with it? All the lies to sort through and wondering if any of it was real. Aiden's wariness and hint of bitterness when they got back together is understandable. Also, Carrie acted like a whiny teenage brat when she didn't get her way. That's why he said "I can't believe I'm here again" because he got duped again. Carrie's final lie to Aiden was saying yes to marriage and then rejecting him. Why? Because he didn't fill the daddy role that Big did. Aiden wanted a partner. Carrie wanted a daddy. 5. She confuses her freedom with a barely controlled anxious attachment style and fear of commitment. For a writer she leads the most unexamined life. She questions everyone else's motives in depth, but is rarely that rigorous with her own. Her self-doubt is helpless rumination with no clear action. That's why she keeps falling back onto Big. It's never resolved. Whether dating, marriage or death there is never anything to give her satisfaction. Clothes, shoes, smoking, drinking, an active social life, friends, a thriving career, being a published author, none of it gives her a sense of satisfaction. I don't consider Carrie to be an antihero. I see her as a troubled, middle-aged widow who will find it hard to cope as she loses her fiends to infirmity and death. I hope the writers of AJLT show her getting professional help. It would do much to destigmatize mental illness. With the death of Big, she is going to be dealing with serious depression.
Thank you for this. I always say Carrie was never the best role model for "the modern women" cause people propped up her character to be that. She was very problematic actually. She basically degraded herself by big, being made into a side ho, and pulled on a string at his whim.... For a promise of maybe marrying into money. It's embarassing how people go "she's such an amazing character". She's not. She wears fashionable clothes. It really shows people can't see beyond the superficial
This girl had an allergic reaction and a panic attack to the idea of marrying Aiden and you think he's the one for her? Aiden wanted kids. Carrie didn't. I'm sorry but no this ship don't sail
What people refuse to see is Carrie is a problematic individual who needed therapy. She gaslights men that are stsble, sabotage relationships that are going well and degrade herself all because she wanted her silly fairytale to be true: a powerful, wealthy man in upper manhattan's society to marry her and spoil her. She's not allergic to marrying aiden. She loves him.... But he doesn't treat her like trash like big did so her low self-esteem is not used to men like that. Go rewatch all seasons go sex and the city with modern pair of glasses. You'll see.
I`m sorry, but her hair... I`m in love with every single shot. Short, long, straight... How i wish to have such hair like her. Her short haur is fabulous
They both should have realized their differences much sooner. They would have made good casual friends. They had very different life relationship goals. Aiden & Carrie tortured one another trying to force this. The themes of ‘should’ and other people’s expectations crushed them.
To me this this is testament that we just like who we like. Even when that person has all the wrong qualities and treats you like crap, once you're in love, it's over. Carrie wanted everything Aiden gave her, but she wanted it from Big, not Aiden, because Big is who she liked. I'm glad she ended with Big because my gosh they're toxic and terrible and deserve to be with each other so they can't hurt other people.
I genuinely disagree. Carrie was the problem in all of her relationships and I do not think Big was the problem in the way you portray. He told her he wasn’t ready for her to meet his mother so she showed up to her church and forced an introduction, she invited herself to Paris and threw a burger at him when he was concerned about her going for him and not for herself, and let’s not forget when they were at that party and she spent time staring at the tattoo on the groin of the waiter, leading his friends to think she was blowing the guy. Carrie was the issue in that relationship and constantly pushed Big’s boundaries. I do not think he was unreasonable pre-Natasha.
i disagree, carrie didnt deserve aidan. the worst thing about carrie is that she doesnt even realize how she is the villain in some peoples stories, eg natasha and aidan.
I used to be in a long “relationship” to my best friend but we married with other people and I used to have that felling “the one who got away” BUT now I am Shure that we didn’t belong together. If things are supposed to happen THEN HAPPENS. Aidan better not appear in the next season.
I love Aiden but Carrie was always her best self with Big. They were always laughing and she was witty with him in a way she never was with Aiden. And Aiden wanted kids, and Carrie didn’t, and that should always be a dealbreaker. The main case for Aiden over Big, at this point, is that Aiden was her age and much less likely to meet his end on a Peloton.
Nahhh Aidan was too good for Carrie. She didn’t appreciate him, she treated him terribly, gaslighted him, cheated on him, and ordered him to forgive her for CHEATING ON HIM. Aidan deserved better. Carrie and Big deserved each other.
She didn't order him to forgive her, she pleaded with him, that for their relationship to work, he needed to forgive her, since he seemed to only gotten back with her to punish her.
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The Take, I love what you guys are doing. Could you please do a video on this topic?
The Pregnant Woman trope in horror movies, such as:
Women getting impregnated by aliens.
Women turning into bloated hives for alien reproduction.
A woman giving birth to a demonic child.
A woman carrying a baby for an evil cult.
Even men getting impregnated by an otherworldly seductress.
Misogynist, sexist, rape culture or just pushing a fear of aliens/demons?
Is it possible to make a good horror/sci-fi movie without resorting to otherworldly beings impregnating women?
Is it possible to make a story arc where the woman that was impregnated, is recovering from this mental scarring?
In my opinion, Aidan dodged a bullet when it came to Carrie. He obviously cared about her way more than she did about him, since she was too hung up on Big to really appreciate him. He later ended up with a woman who really loved him, and three adorable sons, which is a better deal than if he'd stuck with Carrie.
I feel like i see you everywhere🤔
He got married and had a child within a year after breaking up with her. Could be he wasn't all that into her either, just wanted to settle down.
@@misstricksandtipps and you're not the only one
I agree. Aidan, by dodging Carrie, managed to accomplish something with a good woman, but he must have so many trust issues because of Carrie.
aiden was a nice guy thats why he lost
The idea of marrying him repulsed her though. And they had nothing in common. He liked the country and she's a city girl. He wanted lots of kids she didn't want kids. Their fundamental differences were always too much. He was a good guy but that doesn't mean he's the one for her. He was too good for Carrie anyway.
True but what about big
That's true, there was always Big standing between them, so even if Aidan and Carrie HAD ended up together, there's no guarantee that she wouldn't have stopped cheating on him with Big.
@@mundanejane353 Big was toxic as hell and settled for Carrie after he'd smashed all the top models and Natashas. Emotionally unavailable finance guy. Poor choice tbh, but she got what she wanted.
@@yeebler exactly, but it's the question of like, attracts like. At least the toxicity was just between the two of them. God, how she wanted a man like Aidan, do guys like him really exist?
@@vanessaguimaraes01 I've met a few Aidans. They're very emotionally needy behind closed doors and that takes a certain type of woman to cope with long term. Usually overly motherly types
Honestly, Carrie treated him horribly. Hopefully I'll find myself an Aidan because he was truly an amazing partner. Plus the fact that he made his own furniture was just **chefs kiss**
Carrie never wanted growth. Carrie needed therapy very much. So much low self esteem issue. I mean she's willing to be degraded by big to not marry her, turned her into a side ho while he was married, and then dumped her and got back with her. It's insane how he treated her. She loved every minute of it despite complaining because she never learn and never want to learn. She's addicted to the pain and the promise of one day this rich man in manhattan will marry her so she can continue and expand her life of indulgence and no worries about bills.
Same here!
Ugh! A whole dream❤️
honestly, carrie treated aidan badly, but he was hardly a saint was he? i hate how aidan is put on a pedestal when he did some pretty bad things himself. he proposed to carrie without discussing marriage with her first, that’s a massive red flag. not to mention when he got back together with her he refused to trust her, it’s very understandable that you wouldn’t trust someone who cheated on you, but if YOU choose to take them back then you have to let go of the past, aidan was continuously punishing carrie for something he claimed he had forgiven her for. just because aidan wasn’t big doesn’t mean he was a good partner, because regardless of everything else that happened, big loved carrie for who she was, aidan didn’t.
Agreed. Carrie put up with a lot for money. If he hadn’t been rich, she wouldn’t have forgiven him and taken him back so many times.
Given Carrie's character, Big is the perfect fit. They are both mean, self-sabotaging, emotionally unavailable people who love to have money, travel, pursue ambitious careers and have many nights out on the town.
how is she mean?
@@J33SSyou want a list?😂
I see it as the opposite of this video. Aidan is a nice person and deserves to be treated better. Big treats her like his back up at best which is what she deserves.
One of my favorite moments is when Aiden says “Carrie, I have a life. I’m just making room for you.”
No! Being with someone you don’t truly want just because “they’re a good guy” NEVER WORKS.… it always leads to heartache because one person is genuinely committed and the other is just going through the motions.
that's such a good point.
Exactly. When you feel it with someone you know and just trying to make it work with someone cause they seem like the perfect package for stability and security isn’t the same as love. We as women used to need to seek the security of a partner but now in double income family lifestyles, we are free to choose if we want to follow security or passion or both together. My girlfriend was married to a woman who had the stability and lack of complication and I spent six years with a girlfriend who could’ve been good for me if only I was happy with her. For eight years both my partner and I were in the “security” relationships but there was something about one another we could not leave behind no matter the amount of trying, all it did was stave off the inevitable heartbreak of both our partners at the time, but we found our way back to eachother based on the fact that we truly love eachother and feel the best versions of ourselves with eachother, not on emotional and financial security. That’s something we both bring to the table but are together based on that immediate love and passion we felt for eachother when we first met.
@@empac8631 Yes, exactly, because every relationship story is different and so is every couple's journey to happiness and security.
Thank u ! Never settle for someone you don't love . You will make yourself miserable and you will hurt them too.
SATC even had an episode about settling for someone who loves you more than you love them!
I maintain to this day that Carrie was Aiden’s Big. Aiden had no business messing with Carrie. Aiden was attracted to her because she was unattainable. Carrie might have cared for Aiden in a way but she always held back. Aiden knew that and continued to mess with her.
When he took her back he knew he was stupid to give her another chance but he did it anyways. I think he meant to use her to work off his anger then leave her broken hearted as she did him. But it didn’t work out like that and he got emotionally involved when she called him out on his punishing of her. When they saw each other in Abu Dhabi I get the feeling that Aiden would have left his wife if he really thought he had a third shot with Carrie.
Everyone hates Carrie and Big. Especially these days. They were each other’s match. 🤷🏾♀️
Yep. He might not had left his wife, but he wanted carrie
I don't think Aidan wanted Carrie because she was emotional unavailable. He genuinely loved her. But I agree that she was his Big, though.
I 💯 agree with you. I always saw Carrie as the Big to Aiden. But he is and was too good for her from the start. Carrie and Big were a match. Big sucks but Carrie also sucks so they belong together.
I certainly don't hate either of them and I quite frankly think it's just incredibly trendy to hate on them at the moment. We always yell for complex, non-perfect characters just to then go ahead and paint them black or white ourselfs and judge them. Some people make Carrie out to be some kind of monster when in reality she ist just a very not perfect person.
@@AliaslsailA Carrie is somewhat more narcissistic than most people I know.
Aidan also didn't understand her much. He was pretty traditional in a lot of ways and while theres nothing wrong with it, it certainly didn't fit her. He also seemed fixated on wanting marriage, at one point saying he doesn't want a girlfriend anymore since he's already had so many. He just wanted to settle down and seemed like Carrie was the wrong woman at the right time. I don't think they had chemistry as nearly as people claim tbh. No true deep understanding about each other, just obsession to meet each others needs
"I don't think they had chemistry as nearly as people claim tbh."
I think the viewership had hot fantasy chemistry with Aidan. Carrie just wanted to coast with the nice hot guy until Big came back around again.
It was horrible to Carrie whe Big said that he does not want marry again. But when Aiden proposed to her she was rejecting it from the beginning. She treated Aiden like Big treated her in this case.
I’m not sure that Carrie wanted to be understood. Being understood is intimacy. Carrie only understood having to work for love. The truth is that if Mr. Big had loved and valued her from the beginning, she would’ve cast him aside just like Aiden. Ergo the constant drama.
Hard disagree. Aidan was a good guy but he was far from perfect. He was ready to cheat on his wife with Carrie and I wonder how further than a simple kiss he'd have been willing to go if she didn't stop him. He also came across as someone who was more in love with the idea of a family than anything else. Didn't Carrie meet him like a year after they broke up and he already had a baby? Nothing wrong with this obviously but he sure moved on quickly. And considering his wife was the same woman he cheated on it makes you think.
Plus, they were totally incompatible. She was a city girl, he was a country guy. He wanted a family more than anything and she later realized she didn't even want kids of her own. He wanted to marry a version of Carrie that wasn't really her, he loved the idea of her more than anything.
Yeah, I agree, I resemble Carrie for many things (no kids, love the city life, want to focus on career etc.) and someone like aidan for me would be boring and too needy. Everyone is different, they weren't a good match.
Right?! Also aiden constantly wanted to change her….Aiden was to Carrie what Carrie was to Big. Aiden romanticized the idea of Carrie like Carrie did with Big. I would also say that Carrie gaslighted herself more than Big gaslighted her. Big always loved her, he just would never live up to her romantic idea of him.
I don't count the movies. I don't think the original character of Aidan written in the series would have cheated on his wife. Movies were for profit and the art was lost.
You mean the movies don’t count because they were just bad “fan fiction”-like And Just Like That?
@@terry9238 not quite that bad, but still
a far cry from the original series.
Could you talk about how media used "flipping burgers" as shorthand for "you failed in life"? The famous "study hard or you'll end up flipping burgers the rest of your life" is not only condescending to the people who do that job, but incredibly relevant now that those employees want to be fairly compensated for their work.
I appreciate your comment so much as somebody who worked in fast food. It's not the hardest job, but it's the one where your constantly overworked, degraded, underpaid by literally everyone
Oh god same here!! Growing up in the 90's and 2000's, I couldn't watch tv or the college Ad without the occasional joke that if you didn't went to college your end up as a "loser" flipping burgers. It's downright disrespecting to people and demeaning to them when some of them already don't enjoy the job because of how much they get harassed by customers. Especially NOW in many working those jobs to cover the cost of a home as well as the lack of staff with Covid.
Especially how amusing it is that College culture mock those jobs for being the "only option" without college only for many College graduates to still end up doing those jobs anyway. Even more IRONIC, How Colleges for all their talk about being places of "success" and having a "Real" job and future.. ended up being CORRUPT and shady in how they allowed sexual abuse to go unnoticed, Racist frat house parties and taking bribes and favors by allowing the children of celebrities to graduate without even studying. Yet still acting like the moral high ground while mocking the lower class and their jobs with their "loser jobs" Propaganda.
It also reminds me of “they’re losers who live in their parents basement”….like babe, we’ve lived through two recessions? I don’t blame anyone who needs to live at home for longer than they ‘should’?
Yeah and for the record, apparently Denmark pays $22 for "flipping burgers"
Anyone who ever consumes burgers would probably have an interest in having some respect for the person flipping them.
I disagree. He was a nice person but the wrong fit. In addition, kids are a dealbreaker if one person doesn`t want them.
Also, I think Carrie can be an asshole sometimes. Probably she and big deserve each other.
^ This.
Also if Aidan understood how much fashion meant to her, he wouldn't have made her lose the outfits. Compromise aside, he wanted Carrie to fit his mold of a partner - enjoying the countryside, being family oriented, taking care of his dog. He's a good man, just not for her in the long run
I think it was a space issue versus modifying her wardrobe. And she did have some pretty ridiculous clothing she only wore once. Why waste premium closet space on something she's just going to pass over in her closet anyway?
she pretended she liked it...
this was a bit of a plot hole tbh. Have these people not heard of storage units?
This is a great point. And like this one, there were many. It is not that giving up old clothes and being the way Aiden wanted a woman to be was a bad thing, it is just that it wasn’t Carrie, and he didn’t really care about that. He wanted what he wanted and he wanted her to be it. Nice people do that a lot, and we don’t tend to notice that is actually not very nice. The best thing he did for both of them was to walk away. They were not compatible and she was not emotionally mature enough to recognize that at the moment.
@@rodriguezrosa I disagree. He was a nice guy and he wanted a nice girl. He could have brought out the best in Carrie but Carrie was self centred and frankly quite cruel to him.
Is it just me or was Carrie locked in a relationship with a narcissist with Big? Big being the narc and Carrie his co-dependant.It’s almost like SATC was “normalizing” abusive relationships and that’s why it resonated with so many women. If you’ve ever suffered from narcissistic abuse and never healed from it, of course a “normal” healthy relationship is going to look boring and you’ll pass it. That’s exactly what Carrie did to Aiden. Had she been a little smarter and less superficial and self-absorbed, she would have gotten herself into therapy after Big first dissed her to understand why she was accepting garbage treatment from Big instead of obsessing over him.
WOW this is the truth right here, great analysis and I completely agree. Unfortunately this type of narcissist codependent relationship has been normalized for decades in media for women and it has had a terrible impact.
because carrie is a terrible role model for women. she has low self esteem. constantly going back to the guy who never saw her as good enough to marry. always uses her like a sex toy, then married someone socially respectable. and then cheated on that wife with carrie cause she's always there. then when he got too old, he wants someone too dumb to cheat on him - guess who's there? carrie.
@@endor8witch Not every character has to be a good role model
Sounds right. However one can say that Carrie not only became self absorbed and superficial after everything with Big. She has always been like that. I would claim that Carrie is and has always been a narcissist too!
I think she was narcissistic, not Big.
Hard disagree with this video. Aidan is for sure the overall “better guy” but Big was better for Carrie. She would never be happy with Aidan long term. They had very different interests and goals in life.
no one wants to acknowledge that carrie bradshaw as a character is problematic. because she is solidified in mainstream culture as "the modern woman of the 90s era". she's drawn to toxic relationship dynamics, sabotage healthy relationships and hide under the "im a free spirited modern woman who deserves what i deserve". no sis. you needed therapy because of your low self esteem and you propped mr big as some ideal guy when he treated her like trash time and time again. watch the series AND the movie. that is not a good person. he constantly humiliated her and ditched her season after season...and in the movie he got cold feet. and then suddenly everyone is supposed to forgive him like it's acceptable when he wanted to marry her again for realsies. LMAO
Neither was good for Carrie because Carrie was toxic herself and the true purpose of Big and Aiden was suppose to show Carrie she could be healthy and happy alone with her friends, but the show instead gave us a false toxic idea a fairytale. Even in the original book Carrie was never suppose to stay with big.
@@nerdfantasyxox agree. I personally think the best resolution would have been for Carrie to stay single (for a while at least, while she grew up a little)
@@brh.1892 Carrie did grow tremendously after breaking up with Aiden, but all that character development went out the window at the end of the series.
@@nerdfantasyxox There's nothing "toxic" about ending up with someone. Being a strong individual doesn't mean you have to stay single forever.
aidan represents a healthy partner, someone with whom a relationship is easy and dramafree. the fact that she crushes this to chase someone who negs her is just unimaginable
Actually it’s very imaginable cause a lot of women want the ‘bad guy’ cause life with him offers excitement and constant adventure ebenthough it’s also very hurtful. They love the intensity of those feeling they feel with the ‘bad guy’. They want their bad guy to embody those ‘husbsnd material’ traits while still keeping hisv’bad guy aura’. Ofc it’s insane, but that happens a lot actually
It’s a sign of CPTSD and unresolved trauma and abuse, usually at the hands of a narcissist. Carrie had Big-time unresolved issues. Someone like that will usually let the healthy guy go because their “normal” is to be in a drama-laden relationship. Healthy is abnormal.
Really? Seems like a staple of most TV relationships.
@@georgeprchal3924 yes it has been normalized by the media especially in the 90s and early 00s and many women unconsciously look to media for advice on boundaries in their own relationships, see the connection?
@@georgeprchal3924 lol exactly- most partnerships are dysfunctional and we shouldn't be taking them as good examples. That's why analysis like The Take are amazing as really break down all this media into case studies.
I have been learning about attachment theory and To me Carrie was a fearful avoidant, big was dismissive avoidant, and Aiden was secure. Big made Carrie lean into her anxious side and Aiden pushed her into her avoidant side. Big created and addiction with his intermittent reinforcement (hot/cold) behaviors and because her programming said she had to "earn" love Big was familiar and known to her it was her comfort zone to be pushed away and have to earn love. Aiden made her feel like he was boring because he didn't make her earn his love and that was wrong for Carrie not familiar. She wanted love but was terrified of it at the same time. Big didn't push her for commitment so in that sense it felt safe. Aiden was better of with someone more secure, as Carrie would have been too volatile for him.
That's so interesting thanks
I’ve totally thought about the attachment theory with these characters as well! But I never felt like Aiden was secure attachment, I felt like he was also anxious attachment! This is why: Aiden sets up smoking as a “test” for Carrie’s loyalty, if she smokes he leaves and can moralize it/justify that loss to himself as her loss of him, she didn’t see HIS value, it’s a “if you love me enough you’ll do what I want” ultimatum. Even his not having sex with Carrie, he majorly gaslighted Carrie about that, he sort of made her feel guilty for having wanted it. The way he did it and accused her of not being “romantic” felt more like gaslighting and shaming to me than genuine, had he been more authentic about his fears of early sex in a relationship I would have bought it, but he made Carrie feel shame for wanting early sex with him. I also see his desire to keep Carrie in the house with him as anxious attachment, although less obviously depicted as an anxious attachment motivation in the show this is often an example used to describe anxious attachment (the men keeping their women hidden/wanting to keep them at home). Aiden pushing so hard for Carrie and him to move in together, despite Carrie’s obvious discomfort, (I feel like the show punctuates this insecurity by showing his tantrum over her finding his hair care for the balding). His insulting her clothes, which is an extension of Carrie’s personality, is like him trying to muffle Carrie’s special-ness. When he takes her back after she has cheated on him his anxious attachment style totally got more pronounced but I think it was always there. I think Aiden was just as anxious attachment as Carrie, we just got less of his point of view, and we’re also more comfortable with (even romanticize) male avoidant attachment.
With Big, I actually kind of think Big was a huge nerd that loved Carrie but wasn’t as cerebral as Carrie? So Carrie’s interpretations of what Big was doing was what we saw but if you isolate the act from Carrie’s interpretation it wasn’t always evil. For example when she wouldn’t get in the car with big in their ?first breakup? Because she wanted him to love her but he wasn’t ready to yet, she was interpreting it as “it’s never going to happen,” totally unhealthy, and Big just wasn’t their yet. That being said Big checking out other women…Big was an idiot with that, no unvillifying that. I can also totally see Big as dismissive attachment, I always interpreted Big as secure attachment (while Carrie neurotic-ed around him) but you’re right! There is dismissiveness there!
@@brittanyswanson361 Wow really interesting and a flip on the patterns I had first thought. I think Carrie and Big did have a lovely chemistry with their sense of humour and I think that was quite cerebral and Aidan never really shared that with her.
Yeah Carrie is a very disorganized attachment style for sure
i dont think Aden really loved Carry. I think he loved the idea of her like Tom from 500 days of summer
i don’t understand how anybody who watched the show can have this opinion, carrie treated aidan badly and aidan didn’t respect carrie for who she was, he proposed without EVER discussing marriage- huge red flag! he was not the one, they were not right for each other.
This was an excellent example of how we choose to see people instead of seeing them for who they really are.
I agree but would further say it was not so much how she saw Big and Aiden-but how she saw and valued herself.
she is a narcissist who only values herself. if you like her so much you should take her as a partner@@donnasearch1
I think it just shows Carrie isn't actually built for long-term stable relationships. She dream's of it because she buys into the Disney stuff like everyone else. But she personally finds greater fulfillment in the chase of a guy who isn't emotionally and sometimes physically available.
What she actually wants and what she tells herself and others she wants are completely different. She's just almost never truly honest with herself and that's why nothing ever really works out for her.
Carrie was with Aiden, because she knew he was the kind of man she SHOULD want to be with. Big however was her true North that her internal compass kept leading her back to because he represented the unfinished business (rejection) from her father when he left when she was just 3. Think of the scene when Big gets engaged to Natasha and Carrie confronts him in the street saying "why wasn't it me?". She might as well have been asking her dad "why did you leave?"
Very true, but a lot of viewers who bash Carrie for her mistakes and choices don't bother to think, only label her "toxic" 🙄
More like the true Noth amirite
@@SuperBrianMak it was her responsibility to deal with her daddy issues - she was toxic, every toix person has a backstory doesnt mean they get a pass
Problem HERE what none of you are looking at realistically is REMEMBER when Carrie ran into Aiden sometime later, after they broke up the 2nd time, and found him married with little Baby "Tot?? Obviously Aiden wanted babies, a family-- the normal domestic life! Carrie NEVER wanted that! As I remember, wasn't it discussed that Carrie had an abortion in her 20's?? Carrie never wanted kids! So even if she HAD married Aiden, she wouldn't have wanted children- but obviously Aiden DID! So how well would THAT marriage have worked? NOT!
There is an episode in one of the earlier seasons, where Carrie and Stanford visit Stanford's grandmother. She shows Carrie her family pictures and asks her if she wants a family, to which Carrie replies yes. So, Carrie probably could have wanted to have kids with the right partner, which was why she also had to consider whether Petrowski's vasectomy was a deal breaker.
@@Spicie95 No, she didn't want children. She just thought she will at some point, as that's what society tells women to want. She discusses this with Charlotte in season 6 and it comes up again in the second film.
You also forget, that she was playing a part when she was visiting Stanford's grandmother and told her what she thought she wanted to hear.
@@silentsaturn7604 She didn't not want kids, she just didn't have to have them - there is a difference. When she and Big got married, they were too old to deal with a kid and Big most likely didn't them. Some people don't have an opinion on whether they want kids, they just do or don't have any.
@@Spicie95 They explicitly say in the film that they discussed it and decided against it. They were also not too old, Carrie was still in her 30s when they got together and they're rich anyway, so the nanny would do all the heavy lifting.
I'm not sure what point you're trying to make.
@@silentsaturn7604 As YOU point out here, THEY discussed it. Carrie and Big did not want children as part of THEIR relationship. This is surely in relation to them as a couple and not indicative of whether Carrie might have at another point with another partner wanted to have children. Some people must have children; other people don't want to have children; and some people want to keep the door open as a possibility if they ever want to have children. Carrie was in the last category for a good part of the series. The possibility of her having children was always on in the show, but she always considered her partner at the time. She didn't think she could raise a baby with Big because she felt she might have to do it alone, and she had to seriously consider her relationship with Pertrovski in order to find peace with herself as a childfree person. So again, she didn't NOT want to have children ever, she just ended up with a partner with whom she didn't want children, so she never had any. It is perfectly normal. If Carrie had felt at peace in her relationship with Aidan, she probably would have wanted to have a child with him, since he would made a good and dependable father, unlike Big would have. And they were too old when they got together, when it came to dealing with a child. It took Big years to learn how to be a good partner, so it would have taken him additional time to learn how to be a parent. They didn't move in together before the first movie, and Carrie still struggled with the two of them alone together, because she kept wondering whether she should have had a child, which is part of her character arc in the second movie. My point is that not every person in the world makes decisions about their future, in case their life goes in a different direction.
Carrie didn’t deserve Aiden she was toxic.
One thing! Just one thing! Please tell IT to me: WHY tf do I have so many fans even though no UA-camr is unprettier than I am? WORLDWIDE!!!! WHY??? Tell me, dear key
@@AxxLAfriku you're off your meds, spammer. Shoo.
Aiden was annoying though
It always baffled me why Aidan, who had a successful carpentry business, a beautiful wife and three sons, would choose to kiss Carrie in the second movie. He deserved more than to be swept up in her constant drama.
The movies are all over the place. I never got the idea of Steve cheating on Miranda either, the guy from the show would have never done that
@@loiracitr Steve's number of sexual partners is in the 3 digit region and he dropped his long term girlfriend in the blink of an eye, as soon as Miranda gave him the go ahead. He also broke up with Miranda, when he couldn't handle her making more money than him. Clearly sex is super important to him and he isn't always Mr Nice guy either.
People need to take off their rose tinted glasses and appreciate the characters for what they are, flaws and all.
@@silentsaturn7604 i TOTALLY agree. Aiden is problematic too. He cheated on his family with carrie. Didnt even take long.....
It doesn't make sense for the story. But they have to bring back the hit characters in order to make money. And the first movie had sucha big event, Carrie's wedding. They had to have something seemingly earth-shattering about Carrie's love life for the second movie too. So they brought him back because he was a fan favourite and long time viewers wouldn't have hated him for kissing Carrie or would've excused Carrie for kissing him. It's obviously about milking a cash cow. The cast could've settled for being in a show that did a lot of progress for women, but they were like let's get this bag and agreed to be in movies and a reboot. All that has done is make younger, smarter and more progressive audiences watch the show and call out how problematic the show, and the movies are. Now everyone thinks the show is awful and the characters are awful human beings and are not really into watching a shitty reboot. I'm glad Kim Catrall had the good sense to not come back because anyways her character was always treated harshly and still remained a good friend and she knew her character would be butchered whether she stayed on in the reboot or not. And look what they did, they made her out to be a petty money minded snake that she IS NOT and Carrie victimized herself as usual.
@@monochromatic_melodramatic "younger, smarter...."
U tried it!!!
If you ask me, based on the videos I’ve seen on this franchise, she seems like an anxious avoidant in desperate need of therapy. Her best ending would have been had she chosen to be alone and to go in therapy and therefore heal and realize how she hurt others in the past etc etc. Then her choosing a love interest would work. In the meantime she is stuck in a rut - a toxic pattern doomed to repeat her past mistakes.
Also, without having watched the movie where big dies, that sounds like the best thing that could have possibly happened to her - now she is forced to be single and confront her issues!!!
One thing that always gets messed up in the explanation of Big versus Aidan is that Big was always very clear about him not wanting to be in a relationship. Carrie would always try to pressure him into being somewhere he was not ready to be. If a guy did that to a female, the conversation would be VERY different
What are you talking about? That happens all the time.
I can see why Carrie should have chosen Aiden. I can't see him being happy in their marriage though
Ditto, even if they had gotten married, Carrie might have been cheating with Big behind Aidan's back.
@@trinaq I don't think she would have cheated again but I don't think they would have worked out, even if they would have gotten married.
Carrie DID choose Aidan. She just wasn't ready to get married at his pace, and that's not her fault.
@@SuperBrianMak It would be nice if anything about the Carrie/Aidan relationship had been about meeting Aidan's needs and not always toxic Carrie's restlessness and sense of entitlement.
It's pathetic that they even had to insinuate nearly two decades later that he would be happy leaving his dream wife and family who love him for old, used up Carrie if he had the chance. Just leave it alone already, Carrie isn't all that. I believe even Aidan would be able to determine that by now.
@@strandedinseattle9931 I'm not sure what you mean by "Aidan's needs," but Carrie said yes when he proposed, and she let him not only move in with her but BUY HER APARTMENT when it went Co-op. What more was she to do? She stopped smoking for him, she liked his dog despite not being fond of animals, and was even willing to compromise with him when it came to going to his cabin upstate (although I did think it was cruel when she threw his plant away at the end of "The Good Fight" episode 😄🌱). And the fact she made mistakes and had different needs and interests didn't make her "toxic" (no matter how shallow and vain they may seem to us, the viewers). We all ought to grow out of incessant labeling with that word.
Thank you for bringing up how the writers often abruptly turn the alternate love interest into assholes to justify things not working out.
That was an interesting point I hadn't noticed before, and I'm sure that was the intention with how Emily's arc ended in Friends, but I don't think the execution of that arc makes it a good example.
I get the impression that the change of Emily from sweet and loving to bitter and distant had to happen quicker than planned (because the actress got pregnant and had to leave the show), but even at her worst I find it hard to judge any of her actions. The way she was acting towards the end of her arc was very fitting with someone who had gone through that kind of humiliation and now trying to salvage a marriage out of almost nothing, with someone she couldn't trust on the other side of the ocean. To be honest I'm still surprised that after the wedding (and honeymoon flight incident) she even spoke to Ross at all.
SATC works more as Big's story than Carrie's. He goes through the same change as Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda. Failed relationships with the person who seemed perfect, ageing, his body failing him-heart surgery, all this leads him to finding love with the person whom he previously underestimated.
Aiden was too down to earth for Carrie. She wanted the socialite lifestyle.
But Big didn’t want to go out in the evenings with Carrie either. They argued about it in the movies. Maybe they settled it by agreeing that Carrie would go out with friends instead (as she did to Lily’s concert). But this still seemed like a sacrifice Carrie was making to keep her marriage.
Aidan’s attempts to control Carrie got on my last nerve. He’s not a modern man who has enough confidence to be accepting of what his partner needs. The best sign of who he really is was when he tried to make room for HIS STUFF in the apartment by tossing out CARRIE’S STUFF.
IN HER OWN CLOSET!
While I appreciate the growth argument, and generally agree with it, I don't think you have to "end up with" or marry the person who challenges you to demonstrate how you've grown. I think a more powerful ending would have been Carrie and Aiden ending things, and Carrie going on to show the small ways she's transformed while living a happy, fulfilling single life.
If anything, she was always the worst *friend* of the group, and on a show that was (supposedly) about friendship, it would have been nice to see her take some of the lessons she learned from Aiden and extend that grace to Miranda, Charlotte, and especially Samantha. (Since Samantha was always ten times the friend to Carrie that Carrie was to her.)
This whole Carrie was a bad friend narrative only comes from people who never watched the show.
@@silentsaturn7604 She felt entitled to a portion of Charlotte's divorce settlement even though she made her own terrible financial decisions; she judged Samantha for the delivery guy situation very harshly, even though Samantha didn't judge her for having a whole *affair* with a married man; she sent Aiden to help Miranda when she was naked and just slipped a disk. (And yes, Aiden was physically stronger than Carrie, but the issue was needing the support of your closest friend). That's just one example per friend.
You can think Carrie was a good friend, but one can certainly watch the show and come away thinking she wasn't.
@@silentsaturn7604 - not true. I've seen the entire series from start to back about 20+ times, and I always felt like Carrie was a horrible friend. The attention always needed to be on her (always bringing the conversation back to her own situation/issues), she judged even when her friends did not (I.e. chastising Charlotte for not giving her thousands of dollars for her apartment, judging Samantha for blowing the FedEx guy when Sam had absolutely no judgement when Carrie cheated on Aiden with big), etc. Etc. Etc. The two movies and new series just highlight this even more. Big dies and it's the only thing that matters - totally dismisses the worry Charlotte has for Miranda's drinking and says, "big died, that's a problem" or something like that. So toxic.
@@mr.m2545 facts. I strongly agree. Having watched the show and movies..Carrie was a terrible friend and a terrible person altogether. Her happy ending should have been growing with her friends but Hollywood never would allow that. God forbid a woman doesn't end up with a man to be happy lol
@@silentsaturn7604 No. I've watched this show countless times over the last 14 years. Carrie is regularly a bad friend. You might just have low standards for friendship.
Why is anyone better than someone else. Aiden wasn’t for Carrie (he’s not better than Carrie). Mr.Big was for Carrie (they were suited for each other). We are just not used to seeing this honest reflection of a woman and her choices.
This idea that the only way of life is to be married with children as the better deal is wrong. Carrie got what she wanted, and what worked for her simple. She didn’t want to “evolve” she is fine being who she is. “Growth opportunities” nah she likes who she is, all grown up. A very real character.
She didn’t deserve Aidan. He was too good for her.
She didn't deserve neither Mr. Big or Aidan, she deserved to be alone.
@@bibianaguadalupeislasherre9880 A lot of internalized sexism. A woman shouldn't "deserve" to be alone (unless it's what she truly wants) because she isn't perfect and makes mistakes.
She deserved Big. Big deserved her. This reflects badly on both Big and Carrie.
Exactly 💯
Exactly!
Aidan is the perfect guy if there ever was one. He is sensitive, supportive, empathetic person. He is a simple un-complicated guy who represents an easy, simple and un-complicated relationship. John (Big) is a complicated guy, with complex emotional baggage. He strikes a chord with Carrie who is the same. Though she has good camaraderie with Aidan but it's all fireworks with Big. One thing that proves to me that Carrie and Big are the One for each other is actually a scene between Carrie and Aidan, when he proposes and almost forces her to marry him or the relationship ends there. Though Carrie wants the life of simplicity and lack of toxicity with Aidan but she most wants (in my opinion) is to be herself, to embrace herself fully (both quirks and toxiz traits)... So finally it's BIG. With Mr. Big, she's truly herself and truly happy without the pressure to pretend, so it's always been Carrie and Big for me. Both Carrie and Big ultimately grow together and find stability, happiness and consistency together.
please. fireworks? carrie is a woman who needed therapy because she's constantly drawn to toxic dynamics in a relationship. there's always something wrong with the guys when it was going well.
100 percent- its nice that people can see how good Aidan was of a guy.
I pray for someone like Aiden still holding out hope....
nope not perfect he cheayed onhis wife w her in the movie
@@Rainia29 cheated on his wife w carrie
I've always thought Carrie was more attracted to Big's status & wealth vs his character. Big treated Carrie like a side project he reluctantly took on.
Yeah agreed, the "soulmate" claim seemed so contrived. She's attracted to status, money and being indulged like a spoiled brat. But to be fair, marrying Aiden would have never worked since he desperately wanted kids.
@@lizze490 Agreed & also because Carrie is addicted to drama
THIS. she degraded herself and humiliated herself for him in hopes that one day she becomes someone of status and influence in society. Her nickname for him is Mr Big for gods sake. Thsts a big catch for someone who has big ambitions to rise up in manhattan's High society
Just because a guy is nice and seemingly “perfect” does not mean he’s perfect for you. That doesn’t mean chase broken men. Carrie and Aiden had different values and goals, it wouldn’t have worked out long term.
Che is really not written like a 3D character, though. More like an odd collection of internet memes the writers think "woke" non binaries sound like. And a not very likeable one at that.
Che is dreadful. Terribly unlikeable. It's a shame for Sara Ramirez as they could have been something great.
Seriously? That sucks. I mean, they put a non-binary character only to just make them a collection of memes and 'woke' phrases :( This is why I'm hesitating to watch AJLT series. I have HBO Max and still wonder..should I waste/spend time to watch it or not....
@@tracys169 The series does have some good stuff. Including what seems like a non binary child of one of the main characters. Or possibly trans. But if you are non binary yourself, you may feel very irritated with the depiction of Che.
@@tracys169 Che is a comedian and POD cast host, she's a larger than life character, it makes sense for her to be the way she is. She can be abrasive at times but that doesn't make her a bad character, that just who she is.
People just dislike her cause they blame her for Miranda breaking up with Steve and cause they want her to represent every non binary person in the world, which is set up to fail.
Yeah, very cringey. I don't think the writers have ever actually met a non binary person and it's kinda embarrassing 😭
Carrie was hooked on the drama and convinced herself that the ups and downs are synonymous with sparks, to paraphrase Attached. When I was 20- years old, I thought the Carrie/Big will they won’t they was terribly romantic and genuinely felt like it justified my own toxic on-again-off-again that really destroyed both my self-esteem and my relational self for a long time. 10+ years later, I look back and wish I’d had someone shake me. Carrie and Aiden had different values and priorities, so in the long run they would not have been a good match, but she could have used a handsome socialite type who also happened to be willing to commit to her, consistently demonstrate that he was in it for the long haul, and was secure enough to prioritize communicating his uncertainties about their wedding instead of running away as a 50+ year old man. What Carrie really needed was a LOT of therapy.
It's okay everyone, Aidan went on to meet a lovely girl, settle down, and have a Big Fat Greek Wedding.
LMAO! What about how this actor was also in Serendipity? he played the same selfish, needy, desperate-for-marriage type in that film too.
Yeah looks like a path but in real life the actor married in 2020 and does not have kids
iconic
big did nit magically transform - in the second movie , we could see him settling down and becoming a more calm, rational kind of partner - becoming almost boring - carrie wasn't doing that yet, At the end of that movie, for the first time in the entire run of the story, she learns something! So it makes sense that 15 years later the two would have settled into a more stable, grown up lifestyle and relationship.
Ah, once Aidan decided that he wanted to be emotionally abusive to Carrie when he took her back, he was no longer the good guy. I always said that people are not paying attention to the story and putting their own desires on Carrie instead noticing what’s going on. There were SEVERAL signs that Carrie and Aiden were never going to work. He was outdoorsy, loved natures. Carrie rather go shopping and hang out at a cafe. Aiden hated her smoking and pushed Carrie into quitting when she wasn’t ready. Carrie had to change too much of herself with Aiden and it was driving her lack of commitment. Like Carrie knew Aiden was many women considered the perfect guy but he was not the one FOR HER. Carrie was deadass wrong cheating on Aiden though and should had broken off things before it gotten to that point. HOWEVER, it didn’t give the right for Aiden to treat her like crap when they decided to give a second go. He should’ve never agreed to get back with Carrie if the resentment against her was still very present no matter how much he loved her. A lot of shit he did could be classified as abusive behavior and it baffled me people still see him as a perfect candidate for Carrie after that.
And yes, I know they technically cheated during the second movie with that kiss, but it happen to make Carrie realized how much committed she was for Big and she didn’t feel the way as she cheated Big while being with Aiden because she actually loves Big and didn’t need a high-octane, super dramatic violate romance relationship and can be happy in a “boring” relationship. Now, I didn’t see And Just Like That yet so I don’t have any final conclusion to their relationship.
i agree, and it's interesting that this video uses him treating her like that as a footnote and not really a main point, when it is a huge deal. he also pretty much admits he proposed to have control over her. they were both flawed and so not right for each other, they were both trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.
She kissed Aiden in ( hell she ran off to Dubai ) in SATC2 because she wasn't content with the boring married life
💯
I never completely thought about how screwed up it was for Aidan to take her back. He knew he was still that upset with her and still used that against her. Carrie was right that it wasn't fair to take her back if he wasn't going to forgive her. Thanks for the reminder of this. Aidan isn't a horrible guy, but he's far from perfect.
@@Aster_Risk I feel like in a way, people like Aiden are worse than Big. With Big, isn't it mostly what you see is what you get? He's a wealthy playboy who is comfortable and stubborn in his lifestyle. Like wasn't he always pretty upfront about what he's willing to give and for better or worse letting Carrie know to not expect anything more? I feel like irl so many more women would buy into Aiden's traditional, down to earth image because he promotes qualities like security, loyalty, devotion, but after they're married they might find out he's emotionally petty or vindictive and not the perfect dependable man they were swept away by.
Looking back through nostalgia yes Aiden was the one but upon rewatching the series with fresh eyes, Aiden was the one for someone else. Aiden and Carrie, was not it. If Aiden happened to meet Charlotte first, that may have been a better match. Not first marriage Charlotte but after Trey I could have seen a life with them working.
Who else came back to this video after the latest Just Like That episode, where Carrie says Big was a mistake and she and Aiden are back on!!
Aidan dodged a “big” old bullet when it came to Carrie. He deserved a girl who would appreciate him! Carrie wasn’t it!
Aiden was truly too good for Carrie and Mr. Big and Carrie were more like ‘soul mates’ in that they are both rather shallow and more suited for each other.
Carrie never cared to do the deep exploration of her attachment trauma, which would reveal she is an anxious attacher, while Big is avoidant. She is trained to love drama (like many people are, I can relate). Their happily ever after was only possible if they established the secure attachment, but we never saw how they did it. Period.
The question is: What did Aidan love about Carrie? What did he see in her?
You need common interests for a relationship. They didn't share a single one.
I think they had a similar sense of humor. She laughed A LOT when they were together.
@@beckyy584
But that isn't enough to ask someone to spend the rest of life togehter.
@@animaltriste91 he wanted to say to himself he got an unconventional woman to be conventional, they never trusted or liked each other for who they were.
Not necessarily. There isn't a one-size-fits-all approach to relationships. I think the problem is that Carrie didn't even try to appreciate what Aidan liked.
I think, the problem was, they were incompatible to start with.
Carrie was toxic.
Big was toxic.
So therefore they deserved each other.
Aiden dodged a bullet with Carrie.
They both need therapy to heal. It sounds like Carrie is an anxious avoidant if you ask me. Hence the back and forth with commitment stuff
Aidan was the perfect man for home, family, and fidelity. Carrie is too self-involved to raise a family and could not even be bothered with a pet. She wants endless party, the permanent Daddy Warbuck's little girl. Her preference in men is reflected in her choice of shoes. Like her man, her shoes are all about conspicuous consumption and impractical for the long haul. She didn't want to walk along Aidan's path. She wanted to hitch a ride with Big, to wear his life as if he was a pair of shoes. Aidan is the type of man who needs a wife and Carrie is not capable. Big never needed a wife. He can afford to keep Carrie as a pet, because he finds her amusing and is immune to her tantrums.
And that is her choice.
didnt he kissed carrie in the movies while he was married?
@@silentsaturn7604 being someone's pet? Wow, how empowering.
@@RosieSquall And assuming women are "pets" is supposed to be empowering?🤔
it's also interesting that we never hear about her parents in the series
I haven't yet watched this video - though I definitely will - but the idea that someone can be "the one" when you clearly don't love them as much as you love a former partner, no matter how good they are for you, is really preposterous to me and I do not understand why this agenda keeps getting pushed. Carrie would've been selfish in the extreme to settle down with Aidan when she just didn't love him the way she loved Big.
When you can't be authentic with your present partner, why are you even wasting their time?
You are correct, she was very selfish pretending through most of their relationship, she should have broken it off early on when she was feeling iffy about it all. There was a chance to remain friends before crushing his heart and spirit. But she used him to not feel alone because he continually fed her ego and took care of her, plus he was hot.
I'm glad someone addressed this. I always thought Aiden was the one that got away. Yes, he was too good for her.
Part of me always justified the break up with the thought that he was too good to be true. As I've grown from 9 year old to 32 years old, spanning the entirety of the series, I now know that a sensible Aiden-type is possible.
I wish she would have chosen him, but he was not her type.
Carrie was the one! She had everything in her to be happy, and she should have looked inwards and found value and love from within. Once she is able to do that - then its easy to be happy with others around you - and when you find someone similar, who has worked considerably on themselves - look inwards, and have started to truly accept themselves as is, and love them - then its easier to make things work. In reality, the only person who got away with true love in the show is Samantha. She sees men because she wants to see them, not because she needs to see them.
Please make a video about how NYC is portrayed in shows and movies and the difference with reality.
This channel is one of the best! It has helped me a lot to understand cinema, movies and tv tropea! Thank you for all the hard work! Lots of Love
No, Aidan was definitely not the One. He was attracted to Carrie for the same reason she was attracted to Big - the excitement & the chase. They THOUGHT they wanted commitment, but they actually only wanted the feeling of euphoric love, which is not what commitment actually is. Carrie shouldn't have ended up with Big, either, though.
I think the problem is that many women learn from an early age that love means pain, being hurt and chase the man that is not available for them. That's a pattern. That's a toxic twist of love. So when a man comes who really cares for them, commits to them, is there for them etc. they think it's boring. Healthy love does not mean pain, it does not mean chasing, does not mean playing games.
neither were right for her. they both helped her grow (as well as hindered her). she needs to be with someone that's an aidan-big mix. maybe the teacher guy in AJLT?
Aidan is happy with her furniture designer wife, they have 3 kids and created a company that they manage together. They are a power couple, happy and she helped him heal from Carrie. That's my happy ending untill the And Just Like That writers come and destroy it :):):)
Wait. What happened with Aidan in 'And Just Like That?'
@@tracys169 Nothing, he didn't make an appearance yet
Aidan was the OG Green Flag and Charming HIMBO. ♥️
So, Carrie wants a Sugar Daddy? I want to judge but quite relatable 😂
Aidan was too soft and forgivable. It's not the lack of drama that turned Carrie away from him, it's his lack of self-respect. She got away with every shit she put him through. She was always so resistant towards him, and it's mind blowing he was able to forgive her. The worst thing was when Carrie asked Aidan to become friends with Big, the person she cheated him with. What a twisted psychological torture. Their meeting in the woods was just depressing and that's when Aidan was finally lost for me. Carrie needed a partner who could confront her attitude. She and Big were worth each other, both selfish and childish, sharing the same views on relationship, cheating, children, money and lifestyle. She ruined Aidan's life and it's absurd to think he was the one for her. He was a nice guy but for someone else.
So true!
oh my gosh! you totally put my thoughts into words!
Yes, I guess he'd be the right for her if she did a lot of therapy and become more mature, not this superficial, and developed real values in life. Yes, Big and her are immature, childish and materialistic. The question is if you want Carrie to stay this way or wish her development. Aiden is right for a mature woman with values who does not need childish drama in her life. Obviously it's not Carrie. In this state Big is the right man for her.
You know who wouldn’t have had a heart attack at 60 because of his cigars, steak dinners and lack of care for themselves in their youth!??! AIDEN!!!
Adan was too good for Carrie. She loved the drama that came with big.
She loves the drama AND the promise if marrying a very rich man in manhattan's upper society so she can live up her fantasies of making it and living fashionably in manhattan's. She was technically doing that before big but she was heavily in debt.
Carrie was a fictional sacrificial lamb for society to see this type of situation really happen in real life - people do really behave like this. And is as normal as it is tragic. the first SITC for better or for worst has become a GOOD example to NOT FOLLOW. For the real people out there who are being toxic to others, SITC has become a tool for society to be introspective and self-compassion to stop stunting our own growth.
Now I wonder if Aidan will make an appearance in And Just Like That. Also, I wonder if Miranda's relationship with Che is really just an affair because Miranda needs challenge and it comes in the form of romance to prove how relevant she is as a well-intended ally she is constantly trying to perform for, which, is not what Che wants.
Still, if Miranda is in a midlife sexual orientation awakening, it's poorly written.
Miranda is in a midlife crisis and her friends need to give her a good slap.
@@silentsaturn7604 I don't think Miranda needs a slap, I think Che and Nya need to account her, because Michael Patrick King doesn't know how to respect Black and Brown peoples' emotional labor to write otherwise. Chances are, it will play off like it's a good thing. And Just Like That, that is when people will know the show is a reboot of SATC.
Aidan was trying to change Carrie from the first minute. He never loved Carrie for what she was, he was just obsessed with the idea of having a girlfriend, and certain kind at that.
In And Just like That... we see that it's okay with Big that Carrie has her own things and goes out without him. This video kinda of suggest that not wanting to get married to one guy and have that kind of marriage means you don't want to get married at all, no matter what the marriage looks like. It drives both Carrie and Aidan nuts to be in such a small apartment together. But that isn't even a concern with Big because it's not the only option. Big gives her space while still getting a partner.
Everyone legit forgets Aiden bamboozled Carrie out of 40k. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
He offered her to keep the ring without explaining SHES need to use it for the down payment, she GAVE IT BACK. He TOOK IT. He obviously returned it for the money, meaning there was the money he had put down for the down payment, evicted Carrie anyway and ended up taking the money from Charlotte’s engagement ring! LMFAO. The dude was passive aggressive, victim playing Thanos, collecting all the rings.
And was married with a kid after telling Nina Katz he could never open up to a woman again, but still boning her…..
Within a few months if bamboozling Carrie for 40k.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 and women really call him good. 🤣🤣🤣
He was boring, never liked Carrie’s lifestyle, only wanted to be married….
Absolutely did not deserve to be cheated on OF COURSE, but Carrie started that affair only WEEKS into knowing Aiden and before they were serious. The true victim isn’t hat whole situation was Natasha, obviously.
But Carrie confessed to Aiden. Because it was the right thing to do. He dumped her, totally his right.
But then when he took her back he was NUTS. Super passive aggressive and weird and was using his employee as a sexual pawn, just abjectly awful.
Also WHY THE HELL DID HE GO INTO BUSINESS WITH SOMEONE CARRIE INTRODUCED HIM TO? This dude had enough money to have on hand TWO DOEN PAYMENTS FOR TWO UES APARTMENT LMFAO. He needed a broke bartender from queens as a business partner like we need another hole in our ass!
He did it to ingratiate himself back into Carrie’s life and then BAMBOOZLE HER FOR 40k if she did t agree to marry him!
How are we SOOOO GASLIT AS TO SEE THIS AS OK?
Big sucks! What big did to Natasha is an atrocity and he knows it which is why he left her a million dollars.
But bit would have given Carrie the money MO STRINGS ATTACHED. No strings attached!
Bro if Carrie had wanted to become a landlord boy would have bought her a building No strings attached!
INSTEAD Aiden bamboozled her for 40k. Deranged.
Is there a single woman that used to watch it back then that would disagree with that ? lol I love Carrie but she didn't deserve him, "YOU BROKE MY HEART !" that scene
I hated Aiden. Always have, always will, and I watched it (not religiously) in the early naughts and am a woman.
@@TheBLGL Aw why !! he was gorgeous and lovely lol
@@BellaRainDrops He was emotionally manipulative and wanted to change Carrie to fit his lifestyle. He didn't appreciate her for her, but what he thought he could make her. I don't hate Aidan, but people do give him a pass for certain bad behavior because Big is so much worse.
@@Aster_Risk Big put Carrie though the ringer, but he wasn't as bad as everyone makes him out to be. If anything, he was just slow to commit fully to her in the early seasons and didn't know what he wanted. He loved being a bachelor, his freedom, and, of course, Sundays with his mom. Carrie saw him as someone she wanted more with because of his charisma and charm, and he couldn't give that to her right away - because he had his own growing up to do.
I’m here for Carrie Slander Discourse. Everyone needs their dose of Anti-Carrie Medication. 😂
How sad.
Just came here from a TISS video now I am seeing your comments everywhere! 😂😊
@@silentsaturn7604 Right? It says a lot.
Aidan should thank the gods everyday he didn’t get stuck with that self absorbed, selfish Carrie. Big died young but Aidan will live a long contented life.
I don't think it's Carrie that caused Big's death, or even contributed to it. She's actually a delight to be around, her worst qualities are insecurity and neuroticism which Big usually brought out and accentuated. She'd even quit smoking in solidarity with him because he should never do that.
Big smoked a lot, and had an actual heart condition that was set up on SaTC back in the ole days.
His heart was not gonna take all of that.
It's a lot.
Hot take: I don’t think any one these two men were her soulmates and I think they just propagate the idea of the fun emotionally unavailable guy vs the good boring guy. Big was unavailable and they’re relationship toxic. Aidan and Carrie had nothing in common they had to both compromise too much to feel “compatible”.
im gonna quote charlie from the twilight series: sometimes you need to learn to love what's good for you
I love this interpretation that includes the choice to grow or not grow. It’s so relatable. Maybe she felt a deep need to create her romantic life as one would create the ending, Which is ultimately a solitary activity? If the creative process is to follow both relationships, they would be two very different processes.
Woodworking you must measure twice before cutting. In fiction writing, the story takes on a life of it’s own. Big just seemed to offer more creativity and expression, and maybe more aligned to who she was as an artist. whereas life with Aiden was too predictably pre-formed and less creative for a writer.
I mean, yes and no... not every woman wants to be a wife/mother and be all the time in the presence of each other.
To me, personally, it is not so much a problem that C and A don't end up together. I see it as a learning opportunity for her that she doesn't feel as comfortable in a more traditional relationship as she thinks initially. My personal problem with the storyline is that she then turns back to Big, and he is THE ONE...
I would have liked to see her evaluate what she liked about each of the boys... and then (equipped with the knowledge of what she truly desires from a relationship) find a guy who is like... well, kind of in the middle... I guess.
I don't like that her takeaway is "well, I just like drama; Big is drama; Therefore I like Big."
Aidan wanted kids, Carrie didnt.
Carrie wanted a flashy life, Aidan didnt.
After rewatching SATC the third times, I realized 2 things: Carrie didn't deserve Big and Aidan didn't deserve Carrie
I like when he came back to the show and they basically shaded him by having Charlotte say, "He just needs to get rid of the turquoise rings and the tummy." 😂
Im glad they didnt end up together...
She didnt deserve him.
Preach, I'm glad that Aidan moved on from Carrie, and found someone who genuinely loved him, as opposed to stringing him along.
Aidan was the ideal relationship guy, which is why many liked him, but that wasn’t Carrie. He deserved better than her.
I think she shouldn't have ended up with anybody. Her frieds were her soul mates and it should've stayed that way❤️
Aiden was so lucky to not end up with Carrie
It’s cool to see the clips and how engaged all the actors are in the storylines. The direction and casting on this show really was excellent.
I disagree with this, when u say carry should change to fit with Aidan, because Biggs wont change to fit her. Her friends thought they wanted one thing and realized they actually didnt want that, they wanted to love and be loved with someone who is comfortable for them despite the idea they/and society put in their heads what an ideal man is. With Carrie it was different, if she could choose she would not love big and be with aiden instead, to be with aiden she would have to change her values and not let go of self imposed limitations or lack of self knowledge like it was with her friends.
Aidan wanted her to change everything about herself and that is much more unhealthy than her relationship with Big. In the end she had a happy marriage with Big. I absolutely agree with you and always say these things.
@@rolandbaldwin This. While Aidan wanted her to grow, it's not something she should have been pushed into. Healthy changes is not something you do for a partner, it's something you do for yourself.
@@FabalociousDee Exactly. This is my point about him. He was lowkey shady the way he forced these changes on her. He was just as bad as Big was initially. Obviously a 13 year marriage seems to have proved everyone wrong.
@@rolandbaldwin Not really. Initially he only wanted her to change her smoking habit but he changed his mind even with that once he realized he really loved her. He was always willing to compromise, even when she would want him to be less available to her, he did exactly that. He never wanted to change her, he only wanted her to remain true and faithful to him, as he was with her, and stop seeing Big because they both knew that Big was Carrie's weak spot. Helping someone grow and try to see more options in life, doesn't mean they want to change the person.
Plus, going with that logic that the person who wants to change you, isn't the one for you, Carrie always wanted to change Big. She even said Aidan acted exactly how she *wanted* Big to act. She was never satisfied with Big's treatment of her but it was a force stronger than her to go back to him. Thankfully, he did settle down and become less toxic, because if they kept up the turbulent dynamic they had in the series, they wouldn't have worked as a married couple for long.
Aiden was too good for Carrie. In my mind, he relocated to Chicago, met & married Toula Portokalos, and is living his best life.
The writers of AJLT basically wrote a fan fiction. They destroyed the characters we love and didn’t hire the correct writers to speak for the characters we fell in love with.
Sheesh this breakdown was soooo good!!! It makes my heart so happy!
I never saw SATC on first run, but did binge season one when the first movie came out. My first thought was Carrie had BPD and daddy issues, probably because she was raised by a neglectful mother. This was confirmed by the season where she worked at Vogue and later the marriage to Big in the movie.
1. There's never any mention of any of Carrie's family members until the fourth season. We meet members of Charlotte's and Miranda's families. Even Samantha talks about her alcoholic father and her mother being tied down with three kids. Carrie briefly mentions being raised by a single mom to her fatherly Vogue editor. And she acts like a helpless child when dealing with Enid. Enid expects an adult writer who can do the job, but Carrie practically whines I don't wanna.
2. Big presents as the daddy who she desperately wants attention from but can never get. His wealth is that protective cocoon most children take for granted. And when she can't get it/him she throws tantrums. Look at the wedding in the movie. Does she really need to be humiliated because he got cold feet and then realized he really did want to marry her? A serious discussion, and a possuble postponement, would have been the mature thing to do. Nope. Yell and beat him with her bouquet is Carrie's reaction. Then have her friends be mommy because daddy doesn't love her. Ugh.
3. She LOVES the drama. Pick a scene from any episode and she's having some kind of emotional blow up with her latest love interest. Getting involved with an alcoholic who hasn't been sober for a full year? Yep, dive in head first and then when in spirals out of control, she's got a drunk guy tearing his clothes off in front of her apartment. Or her harping on "the scrunchie" to the point of alienating Berger? Or trying to turn a noncommittal sex buddy into a boyfriend and having it go wrong? All so she can feel the wound of dad not being there.
4. Basing her relationship with Aidan on lies. Lying about being an interior designer on first meeting. Lying about the smoking. Lying about her feelings and later affair with Big. Aidan was all in but Carrie couldn't because her lies were too many. Is it any wonder that Aidan was crushed and spent a month in bed dealing with it? All the lies to sort through and wondering if any of it was real. Aiden's wariness and hint of bitterness when they got back together is understandable. Also, Carrie acted like a whiny teenage brat when she didn't get her way. That's why he said "I can't believe I'm here again" because he got duped again. Carrie's final lie to Aiden was saying yes to marriage and then rejecting him. Why? Because he didn't fill the daddy role that Big did. Aiden wanted a partner. Carrie wanted a daddy.
5. She confuses her freedom with a barely controlled anxious attachment style and fear of commitment. For a writer she leads the most unexamined life. She questions everyone else's motives in depth, but is rarely that rigorous with her own. Her self-doubt is helpless rumination with no clear action. That's why she keeps falling back onto Big. It's never resolved. Whether dating, marriage or death there is never anything to give her satisfaction. Clothes, shoes, smoking, drinking, an active social life, friends, a thriving career, being a published author, none of it gives her a sense of satisfaction.
I don't consider Carrie to be an antihero. I see her as a troubled, middle-aged widow who will find it hard to cope as she loses her fiends to infirmity and death. I hope the writers of AJLT show her getting professional help. It would do much to destigmatize mental illness. With the death of Big, she is going to be dealing with serious depression.
Thank you for this. I always say Carrie was never the best role model for "the modern women" cause people propped up her character to be that. She was very problematic actually. She basically degraded herself by big, being made into a side ho, and pulled on a string at his whim.... For a promise of maybe marrying into money. It's embarassing how people go "she's such an amazing character". She's not. She wears fashionable clothes. It really shows people can't see beyond the superficial
Aiden was never the one, just a place holder until Mr Big shows up.
This girl had an allergic reaction and a panic attack to the idea of marrying Aiden and you think he's the one for her? Aiden wanted kids. Carrie didn't. I'm sorry but no this ship don't sail
What people refuse to see is Carrie is a problematic individual who needed therapy. She gaslights men that are stsble, sabotage relationships that are going well and degrade herself all because she wanted her silly fairytale to be true: a powerful, wealthy man in upper manhattan's society to marry her and spoil her. She's not allergic to marrying aiden. She loves him.... But he doesn't treat her like trash like big did so her low self-esteem is not used to men like that. Go rewatch all seasons go sex and the city with modern pair of glasses. You'll see.
I`m sorry, but her hair... I`m in love with every single shot. Short, long, straight... How i wish to have such hair like her. Her short haur is fabulous
They both should have realized their differences much sooner. They would have made good casual friends. They had very different life relationship goals. Aiden & Carrie tortured one another trying to force this. The themes of ‘should’ and other people’s expectations crushed them.
To me this this is testament that we just like who we like. Even when that person has all the wrong qualities and treats you like crap, once you're in love, it's over. Carrie wanted everything Aiden gave her, but she wanted it from Big, not Aiden, because Big is who she liked. I'm glad she ended with Big because my gosh they're toxic and terrible and deserve to be with each other so they can't hurt other people.
I genuinely disagree. Carrie was the problem in all of her relationships and I do not think Big was the problem in the way you portray. He told her he wasn’t ready for her to meet his mother so she showed up to her church and forced an introduction, she invited herself to Paris and threw a burger at him when he was concerned about her going for him and not for herself, and let’s not forget when they were at that party and she spent time staring at the tattoo on the groin of the waiter, leading his friends to think she was blowing the guy. Carrie was the issue in that relationship and constantly pushed Big’s boundaries. I do not think he was unreasonable pre-Natasha.
I agree!
i disagree, carrie didnt deserve aidan. the worst thing about carrie is that she doesnt even realize how she is the villain in some peoples stories, eg natasha and aidan.
I used to be in a long “relationship” to my best friend but we married with other people and I used to have that felling “the one who got away” BUT now I am Shure that we didn’t belong together. If things are supposed to happen THEN HAPPENS. Aidan better not appear in the next season.
This girl destroys everything and everyone in her life. Aidan pls run don’t walk
I love Aiden but Carrie was always her best self with Big. They were always laughing and she was witty with him in a way she never was with Aiden. And Aiden wanted kids, and Carrie didn’t, and that should always be a dealbreaker.
The main case for Aiden over Big, at this point, is that Aiden was her age and much less likely to meet his end on a Peloton.
elise, carrie had no best self--she was the loser of that group of women
Nahhh Aidan was too good for Carrie. She didn’t appreciate him, she treated him terribly, gaslighted him, cheated on him, and ordered him to forgive her for CHEATING ON HIM. Aidan deserved better. Carrie and Big deserved each other.
She didn't order him to forgive her, she pleaded with him, that for their relationship to work, he needed to forgive her, since he seemed to only gotten back with her to punish her.