Listening to you go through this process and reflect on this period of your life is like going to an AA meeting. You're the only one I've seen do this, I don't see people talking about shopping addiction or offering support. I think you're helping a lot of people and you are one of few. I wish more people in the beauty community would be open about this. I look forward to your next video of this series.
I enjoyed this series, it was refreshingly honest and I found myself identifying with some of the excuses past Hannah used to justify buying things. I empathize with her and I appreciate the new, self-aware you :)
When you talked about how you could spend an amount in 2 trips that you would never spend in one...oof, that got me. Also the knowing you shouldn’t be buying something, but having a feeling of urgency that you must make room for this one thing or else you’ll miss out on it forever.
Yes, these two things hit me too. Like, I'd remove items from cart when it hits $100, feel good (though a bit disappointed) that I managed that, but in a few days, adding it to another cart would be easier even though in a single purchase it seems too much And also yes regarding missing out. Nowadays I just tell myself, by then there'll be something new that's cooler and I'd want more so that helps
I know you had every right to be proud of yourself for going that journey before covid hit, but I feel like especially times like these really put into perspective what you have accomplished. These times are hard enough as they are now, but just imagine the difficulties if you hadn't changed. Having to close your business while probably having a ton of debt. Not being able to stop shopping to soothe yourself, but constantly worrying about spending money you don't have. Of course I'm projecting my feelinngs onto your situation, but I'm just so glad I got myself in order last year before I had to worry about the pandemic.
Wow. I really appreciate your honesty during this series. I love what you said about being on your path and not your destination. I think it’s really easy to be self critical but we should remember to look behind us and see just how far we have actually progressed. 💜
Being ok with being on the path, being ok with being a work in progress is something that is so hard to accept and something I feel like I’m also personally starting to accept.
Hannah!! I started crying at the end of this video when you reflected on it all. I related so much to journey/work in progress vs why am I not “better” yet, and how taking a real inventory of where you were relative to where you are can help rebuild confidence. In grad school 2 years ago I relapsed in my eating disorder, and along with that came some compulsive spending...and you and your channel have been such a godsend to me. I was also in LA for 8 years so whenever you mention the Glendale Sephora(s) I feel a particular pang. Ha. Thanks for your vulnerability and your continued work on this! Inspired by you constantly!!
This series was awesome, I watched every minute of it. I am shocked you were spending non stop up to the point of January 1! And you were still able to successfully conquer your no buy year! You really did quit cold turkey! At what point during 2017 did a No Buy Year enter your mind and at what point was it decided that you were going to commit to it?
I just want to add that the expectation raised is that women should be able to afford skincare and beauty items. The reality is that even essential toiletries are beginning to cost too much. I
I'm pretty poor and I can afford skincare and beauty items - as long as they're drugstore. I think women can afford enough skincare and makeup to use on a daily basis, what they can't afford is 10+ of each type of item like shopping addicts buy.
Thanks Hannah. Ive never been one to spend a lot of Sephora, my probably used to be the drugstore...which can be equally damaging because you end up justifying buying and not using stuff because it was "cheap". I did a nobuy last year and it helped seek therapy. Turns out when you don't use new lipstick to add joy to your day, you are faced with lots of emotions that you have to deal with.
Will you talk about your journey of recovery and self-forgiveness and how you got there? Did you go through therapy? Self-help books? You have so much insight into your maladaptive addictive behaviors and the emotions that triggered them, I'm wondering how you gained this perspective and if there are resources that helped you that you can recommend?
I absolutely love how forthright and candid you are...! It's such an interesting peek into the psychology behind consumerism, and I relate to it on such a deeply personal level. Thanks for sharing this facet of your journey...!
Feel free to save this for the Q&A but my questions are if you have a ballpark idea of how much you may have spent buying makeup/skincare/clothing/homewares outside of Sephora in 2017? Comparing your $5000 at Sephora alone against your $2000 for 2020 wouldn't quite be an accurate comparison Also have you considered looking at budgeting from the perspective of a % of your annual income? Obviously it varies monthly for you but I was thinking of treating your personal spending to how people say you shouldn't spend more than 1/3 of your monthly income on rent etc
Being someone who went through the same problem with their shopping addiction actually the same year you did, I really appreciate your honesty. These Videos have helped me to see that I am not alone, how badd the industry has gotten into consumerism, and that there is a way out of it. I have worked myself away from that, we actually cancel all of our credit cards but that desire is still there sometimes and it is so hard. Thank you for your brutal honesty and for being the wonderful person that you are
"I was obsessively but also blindly engaging in this habit to try to shovel experiences, dopamine, and stuff into the emptiness... which was coming from the horror I wasn't managing my behavior. I felt gross because I knew I had a problem. In order to feel less gross, I fed the problem." 💯
I have a question.. And I completely understand if you think that this is too personal, so forgive me if it is; but I'm curious how your previous spending habits affected (or if they did at all) your relationship. This has been on my mind a lot as a newly wed.
This has been great. I went through something similar. At the end of 2017, I received an email from Ulta saying that I had made 50 shopping trips that year. The email celebrated it and made it sounds like a was a true lover of all things Beauty. But it was horrifying to me and I began a 6 month no-buy right there and then. That 6 month no-buy truly changed my spending habits. From time to time, I will start smaller No-Buys just to keep myself in check. Thank you for the insight you have provided on the feelings that urged you to spend in this way. I think a lot of us feel that way. I really respect the kindness and understanding you show to "past Hannah" because the buyer's remorse is real, and we shouldn't beat up our past selves, we should try to guide our future selves instead.
I use a sale to emotionally distance myself from a product. I see something I like, I put it on a list, and if I still want it when it's on sale I will purchase the item. It doesn't work all the time but it has curbed a lot of spending. These videos must have been emotionally taxing, we all cheering for you and admire your tenacity.
I so appreciate this series you did! The year my over spending was at it's worst was 2016 and even though I had some control over my impulses it really wasn't until mid 2019 that I really got control over my spending habits. How I wish that I had stumbled upon your channel in 2018. When you were talking about your spending behavior during the sale it reminded me of how I used to behave. In the week or so leading up to the sale I would spend most of my free time pouring over the Sephora site, brand by brand adding everything that I wanted to my cart. In an exercise to feel as though I was actually rich enough to buy it all. The cart would nearly always approach 1000 dollars and then I would start whittling it down so that by the time the sale started it would be close to 200-ish dollars and I would place that order. And then before the package would even arrive I would be going through all the products that didn't make it in the first order lusting over them, regretting not adding them to my purchase. And by the time that I even got the first package I would have placed another order. And then I'd feel guilty for spending so much and I'd tell myself that I should definitely not spend anymore during the sale, but inevitably by the time that the sale had a day or two left the newness of the things I'd already purchased had worn off, and the fear of having to wait until the next sale (like I actually curbed my spending to the sales anyway) I'd place another massive order. During the weird time of 2020 I have definitely noticed myself trying to fall back on at least my old habits of online window shopping (I don't have much disposable income right now), but something that I have found to be interesting is that I don't desire products in the same way I used to. Therefore, it's not even satisfying to try and fill a cart on Sephora. And even with the few things I have or plan to purchase there isn't the same need for it right now. For example, I'm planning to purchase the Natasha Denona Bronze palette because it checks all my boxes, color story is for me, there's a ratio of texture that appeals to me (all the people who claim there aren't enough mattes are just wrong in my opinion), my favorite formulas from ND are in the palette, etc. The thing is, I don't need it right now, for me it will be just as much a fall/winter palette as a spring/summer palette, so what's the rush? It will go on sale at some point and I can get it then. The old Ashleigh would have pre-ordered the whole collection the first day it was available, and then placed another order of something else while I was waiting for it to ship. Now that I have basically written a novel, I hope that you have a good weekend!
@@HannahLouisePoston Absolutely! It's like our brains are scrambling in times of stress to find relief in something, and it circles back to all the things that used to work even when it hasn't worked for a long time.
Wow! You have done fabulously well! Changing a behavior that had become such an ingrained habit is SO HARD! You should definitely feel elated! That huge burden of guilt is out of your life!
I'm so sorry if this question has already been asked and I do not mean for it to come across in any type of way: did your frequent sephora trips ever result in you becoming a "regular" to any of the staff? Maybe not in LA since it's so huge, but at your old mall? If you didn't, do you think that would've changed anything or at least made you feel funny? I have anxiety and having a waiter at a restaurant know my order of choice freaks me out, and I'd imagine store staff recognizing me would freak me out even more.
oh, absolutely. I had "friends" at the Ann Arbor Sephora, they knew my name and I knew theirs. weirdly, it was one of the things that I liked about going there, because I didn't know anyone in real life with whom I could talk about makeup.
I know what you mean 😂 I stopped going to a frozen yogurt shop because the cashier recognized me and have me 10% off for being a regular. I was like noooo
I relate to this too! It's less of an issue now, but I'll never forget a time as a college student when I'd been ordering a lot of pizza and one night when I called the guy said, "This is Erica at 123 Blah St. right?" and I literally just hung up. Years later I realized they probably had a POS system that kept track of past orders and pulled up my info from my phone number 😂 On the other hand, in high school my friends and I went to Blockbuster so often that we knew all the employees and we loved it. Brought in cupcakes for our favorite shift supervisor's birthday once and everything. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Anxiety is so weird. Zero logic at all.
this reminds me when I stopped frequenting Sephora even just to swatch things, and one of the girls said she hadn't seen me in a while when I went in to get a replacement of a skincare item and I laughed it off but thought oh lord thank god I've been getting the Sephora addiction under control... As soon as they are recognizing you, you know you've got a problem LOL (except I love the chinese lady at the chinese restaurant I like best seeing me and going "oh hi, Morgan, you want this?" and me going 🥺yes, ily)
You made me realise I often buy makeup and skincare to self soothe and escape from the routine of life. And that I need to set some rules for myself! The way you talk about it, it's very like an addiction... and a recovery. Thank you very much for your honesty. You are not only a beauty youtuber, you are a therapist xx
Thank you for sharing this. Your intro about cleaning the home really struck me as I'm experiencing something similar. It just made me feel not alone in that space and your smile provided reassurance that any work we can do to improve our homes is appreciated. 💜
Its amazing to see how many people can relate to these spending habits and behaviours. I remember that sick feeling in my stomach after justifying a new product which deep down I knew I shouldn't have. That last minute at the checkout when one side of my brain is screaming at me PUSH THE BUTTON, JUST BUY IT! and the other side pleading to stay on track with credit card repayments and think about your financial health and how good it would feel to be debt free. What a rollercoaster. Your no buy year inspired me to really look at why I was really spending and honestly I didn't believe I could change. I can finally say that I am debt free now after a year of concrete rules regarding spending and paying back my credit card. I still get the urges to overspend but your channel is like an AA meeting and helps to bring me back to reality. Thank you for sharing your journey, It helps more people than you realise.
_"I sometimes get down on myself for being on the journey instead of at the destination."_ IF THAT ISN'T MY INNER MONOLOGUE IN A NUTSHELL. 😬 In a sense, I feel as if my self-image is unrealistically high, as I have these expectations of myself that are unattainable... Or at the very least, they cannot be attained immediately. Yet I wind up crippled by anxiety & disappointment because of my self-image being elevated to a point of fantasy or (to be blunt) delusion -- and because reality contradicts my beliefs about myself. It has been kind of ego-shattering to recognize that I can't be incredible or good at everything by virtue of existing... My intelligence doesn't imply perfection. My charisma doesn't imply social fulfillment. My creativity doesn't imply talent. Thank you for your vulnerability & the work you do in the world, Hannah... It has meant a lot for my own journey!! 💜 ALSO ALSO, thank you for recommending Tara Brach's "Radical Acceptance" meditations!
Your no-buy year and these reflective videos have been some of my favourite UA-cam series ever, and have really changed the way I think and behave in a positive way, keep it up Hannah 😊
I really appreciate your vulnerability here Hannah. In some ways it reminded me of what you said a while ago in a video that your goal is not to be relatable and in fact that there were a lot of factors about your life that were inherently unrelatable. Seeing it all laid out in this series helps me to see the ways your situation is different from anything I have experienced with money/make up/shopping, and helps me resist trying to project myself on to you. In addition to helping people who are going through similar things know that they are not alone and there is a possibility of change you are also helping people like me to see a different perspective and grow in empathy for what other people in our lives who aren't ready share might be going through with your vulnerability - Thank you!
I loved this series into your past, I have followed you since the first few videos in your no buy year and seen you grow since then. I have observed myself learning from you as well and try to reduce how much I spend. Thank you for sharing all of this with us, I don’t think we expect you to be at the destination, working every day to be the best version of ourselves in the world is what we are working towards. Cannot wait to see the reflexion video !
Thank you so much for sharing this with us ❤️ for the upcoming Q&A video I would like to know how was the situation with clothes and other types of beautiful things, but just if you feel comfortable talking about it, I don't want to be intrusive 😘
This really hit home. Being a work in progress is sometimes very daunting. Thank you for the encouragement. I feel like 2016 to 2018 was the height of cosmetic spending for so many people, myself included. I think I'm ok with my spending habits now because I really worked on not doing random drugstore hauls, which helped me to stop 'looking for things to buy'. My next hill to conquer is ignoring indie brand releases.
Thank you Hanna! I recognise a lot of my behaviour and mindset when listening to you. I have turned my behaviour around but it is still a strugle. I get hope knowing where you are now and that it is possible to change.
Thank you for sharing that with us. It’s quite amazing what we are able to accomplish when we set our minds to it. You doing a no buy after that shopping spree is 🙌🏻. During the first 2 months of quarantine I indulged in all the good things, baked goods, sleeping in, lounging around. Now something snapped and I’m back to healthier habits. Getting some exercise in and reducing my sugar intake. My husband is baffled that I did a 180, but I can’t explain it. I set my mind to it and that’s that.
What you talk about with breaking up large purchases into smaller ones that feel more manageable resonates SO HARD with me. Wow. What a revelation. It’s sad to think I was in a level of denial enough that I was able to “hide” from my conscious that I was doing that.
For the q&a I would love it if you could talk about the difference in the number of products that you bought or got as gifts with purchase during 2017 and the number of products you have gotten in PR this year (the number before the reckonings). It seems like something useful to reflect on in terms of the year of less stuff and I’m really curious about the difference.
I feel like you are describing my recent shopping behavior... 😲 Especially when you mentioned splitting $400 purchases into multiple shopping trips as a delusion that perpetuates more and more spending. That really resonated with me. Gah!! 😱
I have enjoyed this series; it is so relatable to many of us who love beautiful things. Prayers for Joe’s dad & the two of you with the task you have at hand. Take care ❤️
You have talked so much about this topic, and yet this is still relevant, and informative, and helpful because of the degree of transparency your discourse has reached. I pan things now, I make informed purchases now, and still I overspent on makeup during quarantine. Thank you.
I finally finished up all my lotion, soap, body wash, etc. that I had kicking around. Finally time to treat myself to that Haus of Gloi order. I have officially been influenced. It’s ok because it’s in the budget 😉
Before your no buy year, did the stress and guilt from over buying manifest it's self in any physical or in a way that spilled over in your day to day life. Not more buying but like hair loss or weight loss, doing a lot of nice things for people even if you didn't have the time. Sometimes I'm happy I grew up pretty poor and had kids fairly young. I don't get to just spend money whenever I want, not that I haven't made some bad money managing choices but knowing my kids could have something keeps me from overspending. Thanks for sharing, it really helps to remind people the real reality of this hyper consumerist lifestyle. People long to have as much makeup as beauty gurus but forget what that looks like money wise.
Maybe you can address this for the Q&A, but you seemed to buy a lot of makeup and skincare as gifts, were you surrounded by a lot of beauty lovers who also spent and gifted just like you, or do you think you just using any occasions for gifting as an excuse to buy things at Sephora? I know that happens to me sometimes
Also I was watching back your old videos and you talked about often buying those farmacy masks, definitely makes sense that discontinued things are disappearing!
Thank you not only for this mini series, but for your entire channel. You have articulated so well the journey and struggles of self love and bettering oneself in the space of addiction. I have seen myself so much in the behaviors described. It's easier to acknowledge feelings when there are the right words behind them to describe them. Thank you
What a great thing to be a work in progress; I think we all are. This was a great series and it's lovely to see that you are happier. It's always great to pause and look at how much progress has been made. Thanks for sharing your journey so publicly. Keep going!
while listening to this series, I decided to go through all my purchases on the 3 major sites I use to buy beauty stuff from. I was shocked that I decluttered so much of it but actually the majority of the products I used up! the sad part is that most of the products that I decluttered were bought in store and I don't have any data about that... although, I bought most of my staples in drugstores (like foundation, mascara, brow gel, powder) but alongside that, I bought a lot of crap just because I was already there. or I'd go in to just browse through the makeup section and buy a random lip oil I didn't need. I'm now doing a lot better, but it's mainly thanks to lockdown probably!
As I am watching this video I wonder if you ever watched back your first videos? Would it be a good addition to this series to react to your former self in video form? Thank you for doing this work on camera for us to observe and learn!
My advice not that it’s warranted is to use things until they no longer serve you. What you have is what you wanted most when you bought it. You can then purchase if and when you need to replace those beautiful things you once thought were the most desirable at the time. Never buy things for future use only when you know you truly need it. The thing is I know this because I never feel bad for decluttering things since I know they’ve had so much use and are either ready for recycling or they don’t serve me, as in I never wear pink blush anymore.
Can relate to the house situation. My husband and I purchased the house he was born and raised in when his parents divorced/ needing different living help. In addition to a lot of deferred maintenance there was also the issue that his mother had smoked indoors for 30 plus years. There was a lot of Queen including removing walls and re installing drywall because the cigarette smoke had just penetrated everything. After 10 years we are still in the remodel process.
Sometimes I feel like I am looking into the mirror, though not everyone is the same. It took me forever to realize that loving something doesn't mean I have to go buy a second color or something. I enjoy the process of researching and find the right thing for me. I don't listen to anyone nor driven by sales but I just like the "project". Then I find some how I need the project to keep me going. Eventually I moved to a job I really enjoy then shopping problem seems to be resolve a looooot. Start to find shopping as a chore. But again with quarantine, I am longing for some bright color and I know it is because I want to go back the nature badly. So now I am shopping for nail polishes.... At least it is rather inexpensive... Please keep doing these videos. Respect all your efforts.
During 2018 I started shopping obsessively and trying to pretend I was living a life I wasn't actually living, the fantasy self had taken over and I had no control. I'm still not completely off it but I have better control and what was upsetting more then and thinking about it now is how much garbage did I create just from getting rid of boxes and wrapping paper and packaging etc
Hi Dear Hannah!! I was so eagerly awaiting this video!! Would it freak you out to know that I've been checking every morning / afternoon for this upload....??? I hope not, I'm just an uber-fan who deeply relates to your content.
Thanks so much, Hannah! When I first joined Sephora, I got my free birthday gift right away and was hooked! Samples and points perks--I agree totally that they feed the mentality of wanting more whether it's good for us or not.
Do you mean to tell me my obsession with my high end chi chi-lala scent collection is NOT going to transform me into the most fabulous woman ever to walk the earth??? Blasphemy! ;)
I've always thought that your experience was so different from mine and it didn't apply to me. Now I see that you're describing my past habits and my past self...I feel that if I could restrain myself from overspending in the last few months, it's also because of your therapy-like videos. Thank you!
This gives me so much to think about. Thank you so much, no one in my life feels as I do about cosmetics, skin care, and fragrance, etc. I want to spend less and own less, but it isn't easy. I need to set limits for myself, as a goal, but I am not sure what they should be. Currently, I am enjoying perfumes a little too much, lol, and need to back off. But mentally, I recognize that fragrance is one fun way that I have new "experiences", since I became disabled with a medical condition. I don't get out of the house as much (especially now!), and a new fragrance feels like going on a mini-trip to me. The smells of different places, even different times in history, is exciting and something I look forward to. Should I limit the number of new scents (samples or bottles)? Or should I impost a dollar limit?
My anxiety/boredom spending habit has really develop a life of its own over quarantine, and shopping addiction content from HLP and Tara Scott have really helped pull me back when I need it. Bless you guys 🥺 the personal finance side of yt is literally a life saver
Wow I just looked at my purchase history and 2017 was a big spending year for me too at Sephora in that I almost got to the second level of beauty rewards so I think I was at like $300? Anyway that was a wake up to me to get it together and limit beauty spending to products I actually use on a daily basis. That's amazing that you were able to change your spending and really see what was at the heart of things!
This amount surprised me, I had expected it to be around 7,000. I am personally planning to start a no buy year from July because since covid, my online shopping on asos and such the like has been absolutely unfathomable, it's uncomfortable to think about but the discomfort makes me want to change this
I wonder if you're anywhere near me, I'm at my boyfriend's parents' house in Garberville, CA. I also live in LA and it was an 11 hour drive to get here. I absolutely loved this series, you've challenged me to reflect on my own purchase habits and it's been a great learning experience. I successfully completed my first no-buy month (aside from a Sephora order using a gift card) and it was life-changing!
I feel like a work in progress too! And I have to thank you for that 💕. I'm saving for a proyect, but I got carried away this month. Quarantine isn't helping, honestly. My question for your Q&A is how have you dealt with the guilt/shame? I'm not kind with myself about this. I haven't put myself in a bad or dangerous position. But I need to hice myself a break from self-shaming 🙈 Love from Argentina 💕
Sadieeeee! My girl. The feelings you bring up are very heavy, it is tough to comment in a way that feels valuable to others. I appreciate everything you said and need to ponder, but it is more comfortable to talk about cKatz.
No judgement here I think I spend about £2000 on makeup and skincare in 2018 but 2019 I cut way back and now I don’t need anything except replacements or eyeshadow palettes within my requirements. I only have 6 but I want to try each brand but just one of each so I hold out until they release the one palette I want to own and use
Yes you are not wrong breakup purchases during the sales happens and is misleading. I did that this past sale and I know I spent too much. One resolution I have made w Sephora is no online shopping unless is a repurchase. Buying online really make me feel like is ok to spend a bit more.
Omg. I had a problem as well with spending $$$ on makeup. Thank you for telling me about your journey. I spent $200-$300 a month on makeup for the past 2 years. It was so bad. I promised myself to go on a low buy. Doing good so far thanks to this pandemic. Only bought 2 things since March. Under $25 . Thank god!
It’s such a strange relief to watch you unpack this. I’ve just started looking at my own panic and anxiety spending and watching this series has made me feel so seen. And definitely cracked open the door for my own changes and self-forgiveness. Thank you
Hi Hannah, it's wonderful of you and Joe to be cleaning up his father's house. My father, a hoarder, had a massive stroke three years ago and is now living in a care home. My sister, husband and I had to clean out his things and it was a physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting undertaking. I want to ask, with a lot of love to you, to please consider how Joe's father would feel about you photographing and publicly discussing the state of his home. Perhaps you already have and you have reason to know he is or would be fine with it! I just wanted to mention it. I'm so sorry you had to close poema. I haven't kept up with watching UA-cam lately so I didn't know. Take much care and I hope it's cooled off by now.
Sadie's cameo is at 43:56 you're welcome
Gotta love the Sadie content
I love how you hold her aloft, like she's being examined for Best in Show 😻
Thank you!
Listening to you go through this process and reflect on this period of your life is like going to an AA meeting. You're the only one I've seen do this, I don't see people talking about shopping addiction or offering support. I think you're helping a lot of people and you are one of few. I wish more people in the beauty community would be open about this. I look forward to your next video of this series.
The end of a saga! A 52 minute video is the gift we all needed today
"Very mice-in-the-laundry" is a mood for 2020
I was about to look this up. I was like is that a phrase I should know... But nope 🤦🙃🙃
I love this 😂😂
very that :)
I enjoyed this series, it was refreshingly honest and I found myself identifying with some of the excuses past Hannah used to justify buying things. I empathize with her and I appreciate the new, self-aware you :)
When you talked about how you could spend an amount in 2 trips that you would never spend in one...oof, that got me. Also the knowing you shouldn’t be buying something, but having a feeling of urgency that you must make room for this one thing or else you’ll miss out on it forever.
Yes, these two things hit me too. Like, I'd remove items from cart when it hits $100, feel good (though a bit disappointed) that I managed that, but in a few days, adding it to another cart would be easier even though in a single purchase it seems too much
And also yes regarding missing out. Nowadays I just tell myself, by then there'll be something new that's cooler and I'd want more so that helps
The trilogy UA-cam needed!
I know you had every right to be proud of yourself for going that journey before covid hit, but I feel like especially times like these really put into perspective what you have accomplished. These times are hard enough as they are now, but just imagine the difficulties if you hadn't changed. Having to close your business while probably having a ton of debt. Not being able to stop shopping to soothe yourself, but constantly worrying about spending money you don't have. Of course I'm projecting my feelinngs onto your situation, but I'm just so glad I got myself in order last year before I had to worry about the pandemic.
yes, I think about this a lot! how much worse our position would be now if I hadn't made a change.
Wow. I really appreciate your honesty during this series. I love what you said about being on your path and not your destination. I think it’s really easy to be self critical but we should remember to look behind us and see just how far we have actually progressed. 💜
Being ok with being on the path, being ok with being a work in progress is something that is so hard to accept and something I feel like I’m also personally starting to accept.
Hannah!! I started crying at the end of this video when you reflected on it all. I related so much to journey/work in progress vs why am I not “better” yet, and how taking a real inventory of where you were relative to where you are can help rebuild confidence. In grad school 2 years ago I relapsed in my eating disorder, and along with that came some compulsive spending...and you and your channel have been such a godsend to me. I was also in LA for 8 years so whenever you mention the Glendale Sephora(s) I feel a particular pang. Ha. Thanks for your vulnerability and your continued work on this! Inspired by you constantly!!
thank you
I hope you’re doing well, sister. Those are tough struggles.
This series was awesome, I watched every minute of it. I am shocked you were spending non stop up to the point of January 1! And you were still able to successfully conquer your no buy year! You really did quit cold turkey! At what point during 2017 did a No Buy Year enter your mind and at what point was it decided that you were going to commit to it?
I just want to add that the expectation raised is that women should be able to afford skincare and beauty items. The reality is that even essential toiletries are beginning to cost too much.
I
I'm pretty poor and I can afford skincare and beauty items - as long as they're drugstore. I think women can afford enough skincare and makeup to use on a daily basis, what they can't afford is 10+ of each type of item like shopping addicts buy.
@@soakupthenoise - yes, it does of course depend what you choose to buy. However, my point is that even basics mount up. Xx
Thanks Hannah. Ive never been one to spend a lot of Sephora, my probably used to be the drugstore...which can be equally damaging because you end up justifying buying and not using stuff because it was "cheap". I did a nobuy last year and it helped seek therapy. Turns out when you don't use new lipstick to add joy to your day, you are faced with lots of emotions that you have to deal with.
That’s true. You rationalize it easier if you don’t like it and it’s cheap because you think “it wasn’t that much anyway”
Will you talk about your journey of recovery and self-forgiveness and how you got there? Did you go through therapy? Self-help books? You have so much insight into your maladaptive addictive behaviors and the emotions that triggered them, I'm wondering how you gained this perspective and if there are resources that helped you that you can recommend?
I absolutely love how forthright and candid you are...! It's such an interesting peek into the psychology behind consumerism, and I relate to it on such a deeply personal level. Thanks for sharing this facet of your journey...!
thank you
Feel free to save this for the Q&A but my questions are if you have a ballpark idea of how much you may have spent buying makeup/skincare/clothing/homewares outside of Sephora in 2017? Comparing your $5000 at Sephora alone against your $2000 for 2020 wouldn't quite be an accurate comparison
Also have you considered looking at budgeting from the perspective of a % of your annual income? Obviously it varies monthly for you but I was thinking of treating your personal spending to how people say you shouldn't spend more than 1/3 of your monthly income on rent etc
It's as if the floor in the background is milky earl gray tea and your peachy pink T-shirt is steeping in it. Can't unsee it! 🍵
Being someone who went through the same problem with their shopping addiction actually the same year you did, I really appreciate your honesty. These Videos have helped me to see that I am not alone, how badd the industry has gotten into consumerism, and that there is a way out of it. I have worked myself away from that, we actually cancel all of our credit cards but that desire is still there sometimes and it is so hard. Thank you for your brutal honesty and for being the wonderful person that you are
"I was obsessively but also blindly engaging in this habit to try to shovel experiences, dopamine, and stuff into the emptiness... which was coming from the horror I wasn't managing my behavior. I felt gross because I knew I had a problem. In order to feel less gross, I fed the problem." 💯
I have a question.. And I completely understand if you think that this is too personal, so forgive me if it is; but I'm curious how your previous spending habits affected (or if they did at all) your relationship. This has been on my mind a lot as a newly wed.
It's interesting that you also kept choosing to buy majority of your gifts from Sephora. It's like it was an opportunity to shop there.
This has been great. I went through something similar. At the end of 2017, I received an email from Ulta saying that I had made 50 shopping trips that year. The email celebrated it and made it sounds like a was a true lover of all things Beauty. But it was horrifying to me and I began a 6 month no-buy right there and then. That 6 month no-buy truly changed my spending habits. From time to time, I will start smaller No-Buys just to keep myself in check. Thank you for the insight you have provided on the feelings that urged you to spend in this way. I think a lot of us feel that way. I really respect the kindness and understanding you show to "past Hannah" because the buyer's remorse is real, and we shouldn't beat up our past selves, we should try to guide our future selves instead.
I use a sale to emotionally distance myself from a product. I see something I like, I put it on a list, and if I still want it when it's on sale I will purchase the item. It doesn't work all the time but it has curbed a lot of spending. These videos must have been emotionally taxing, we all cheering for you and admire your tenacity.
I so appreciate this series you did! The year my over spending was at it's worst was 2016 and even though I had some control over my impulses it really wasn't until mid 2019 that I really got control over my spending habits. How I wish that I had stumbled upon your channel in 2018.
When you were talking about your spending behavior during the sale it reminded me of how I used to behave. In the week or so leading up to the sale I would spend most of my free time pouring over the Sephora site, brand by brand adding everything that I wanted to my cart. In an exercise to feel as though I was actually rich enough to buy it all. The cart would nearly always approach 1000 dollars and then I would start whittling it down so that by the time the sale started it would be close to 200-ish dollars and I would place that order. And then before the package would even arrive I would be going through all the products that didn't make it in the first order lusting over them, regretting not adding them to my purchase. And by the time that I even got the first package I would have placed another order. And then I'd feel guilty for spending so much and I'd tell myself that I should definitely not spend anymore during the sale, but inevitably by the time that the sale had a day or two left the newness of the things I'd already purchased had worn off, and the fear of having to wait until the next sale (like I actually curbed my spending to the sales anyway) I'd place another massive order.
During the weird time of 2020 I have definitely noticed myself trying to fall back on at least my old habits of online window shopping (I don't have much disposable income right now), but something that I have found to be interesting is that I don't desire products in the same way I used to. Therefore, it's not even satisfying to try and fill a cart on Sephora. And even with the few things I have or plan to purchase there isn't the same need for it right now. For example, I'm planning to purchase the Natasha Denona Bronze palette because it checks all my boxes, color story is for me, there's a ratio of texture that appeals to me (all the people who claim there aren't enough mattes are just wrong in my opinion), my favorite formulas from ND are in the palette, etc. The thing is, I don't need it right now, for me it will be just as much a fall/winter palette as a spring/summer palette, so what's the rush? It will go on sale at some point and I can get it then. The old Ashleigh would have pre-ordered the whole collection the first day it was available, and then placed another order of something else while I was waiting for it to ship.
Now that I have basically written a novel, I hope that you have a good weekend!
@@HannahLouisePoston Absolutely! It's like our brains are scrambling in times of stress to find relief in something, and it circles back to all the things that used to work even when it hasn't worked for a long time.
Scrolling through my feed, whenever I saw this series, I whispered “yes!...” to myself. Thanks for letting us in :)
So sad to hear about Joe’s father...my father in-law suffered from the same disease. It’s rough 💔 . Sending love ♥️
Wow! You have done fabulously well! Changing a behavior that had become such an ingrained habit is SO HARD! You should definitely feel elated! That huge burden of guilt is out of your life!
I'm so sorry if this question has already been asked and I do not mean for it to come across in any type of way: did your frequent sephora trips ever result in you becoming a "regular" to any of the staff? Maybe not in LA since it's so huge, but at your old mall? If you didn't, do you think that would've changed anything or at least made you feel funny? I have anxiety and having a waiter at a restaurant know my order of choice freaks me out, and I'd imagine store staff recognizing me would freak me out even more.
oh, absolutely. I had "friends" at the Ann Arbor Sephora, they knew my name and I knew theirs. weirdly, it was one of the things that I liked about going there, because I didn't know anyone in real life with whom I could talk about makeup.
I know what you mean 😂 I stopped going to a frozen yogurt shop because the cashier recognized me and have me 10% off for being a regular. I was like noooo
I relate to this too! It's less of an issue now, but I'll never forget a time as a college student when I'd been ordering a lot of pizza and one night when I called the guy said, "This is Erica at 123 Blah St. right?" and I literally just hung up. Years later I realized they probably had a POS system that kept track of past orders and pulled up my info from my phone number 😂
On the other hand, in high school my friends and I went to Blockbuster so often that we knew all the employees and we loved it. Brought in cupcakes for our favorite shift supervisor's birthday once and everything. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Anxiety is so weird. Zero logic at all.
this reminds me when I stopped frequenting Sephora even just to swatch things, and one of the girls said she hadn't seen me in a while when I went in to get a replacement of a skincare item and I laughed it off but thought oh lord thank god I've been getting the Sephora addiction under control... As soon as they are recognizing you, you know you've got a problem LOL
(except I love the chinese lady at the chinese restaurant I like best seeing me and going "oh hi, Morgan, you want this?" and me going 🥺yes, ily)
You made me realise I often buy makeup and skincare to self soothe and escape from the routine of life. And that I need to set some rules for myself! The way you talk about it, it's very like an addiction... and a recovery. Thank you very much for your honesty. You are not only a beauty youtuber, you are a therapist xx
Thank you for sharing this. Your intro about cleaning the home really struck me as I'm experiencing something similar. It just made me feel not alone in that space and your smile provided reassurance that any work we can do to improve our homes is appreciated. 💜
Its amazing to see how many people can relate to these spending habits and behaviours. I remember that sick feeling in my stomach after justifying a new product which deep down I knew I shouldn't have. That last minute at the checkout when one side of my brain is screaming at me PUSH THE BUTTON, JUST BUY IT! and the other side pleading to stay on track with credit card repayments and think about your financial health and how good it would feel to be debt free. What a rollercoaster. Your no buy year inspired me to really look at why I was really spending and honestly I didn't believe I could change. I can finally say that I am debt free now after a year of concrete rules regarding spending and paying back my credit card. I still get the urges to overspend but your channel is like an AA meeting and helps to bring me back to reality. Thank you for sharing your journey, It helps more people than you realise.
_"I sometimes get down on myself for being on the journey instead of at the destination."_
IF THAT ISN'T MY INNER MONOLOGUE IN A NUTSHELL. 😬
In a sense, I feel as if my self-image is unrealistically high, as I have these expectations of myself that are unattainable... Or at the very least, they cannot be attained immediately. Yet I wind up crippled by anxiety & disappointment because of my self-image being elevated to a point of fantasy or (to be blunt) delusion -- and because reality contradicts my beliefs about myself.
It has been kind of ego-shattering to recognize that I can't be incredible or good at everything by virtue of existing... My intelligence doesn't imply perfection. My charisma doesn't imply social fulfillment. My creativity doesn't imply talent.
Thank you for your vulnerability & the work you do in the world, Hannah... It has meant a lot for my own journey!! 💜
ALSO ALSO, thank you for recommending Tara Brach's "Radical Acceptance" meditations!
THIS
For the carpet stains try Woolite insta clean Oxy pet. It removed stains from my fabrics really well without bleaching textiles.
thank you!
Your no-buy year and these reflective videos have been some of my favourite UA-cam series ever, and have really changed the way I think and behave in a positive way, keep it up Hannah 😊
I really appreciate your vulnerability here Hannah. In some ways it reminded me of what you said a while ago in a video that your goal is not to be relatable and in fact that there were a lot of factors about your life that were inherently unrelatable. Seeing it all laid out in this series helps me to see the ways your situation is different from anything I have experienced with money/make up/shopping, and helps me resist trying to project myself on to you.
In addition to helping people who are going through similar things know that they are not alone and there is a possibility of change you are also helping people like me to see a different perspective and grow in empathy for what other people in our lives who aren't ready share might be going through with your vulnerability - Thank you!
I have a question for the 4th part of this series: when you online shopped, was there a pattern? Like did you only shop at night, after work, etc.
I loved this series into your past, I have followed you since the first few videos in your no buy year and seen you grow since then. I have observed myself learning from you as well and try to reduce how much I spend. Thank you for sharing all of this with us, I don’t think we expect you to be at the destination, working every day to be the best version of ourselves in the world is what we are working towards. Cannot wait to see the reflexion video !
Thank you so much for sharing this with us ❤️ for the upcoming Q&A video I would like to know how was the situation with clothes and other types of beautiful things, but just if you feel comfortable talking about it, I don't want to be intrusive 😘
got it! it's on the list.
You holding sadie so lovingly but also a lot like a fish is so lovely and funny to me
:)
I’m literately on the edge of my seat. I rewinded three times to make sure I heard right.😱 Can’t wait for the next episode.
Yess! I was soo looking forward to this video!
“It’s very mice in the laundry” is a phrase I aim to sew into more situations in my life going forward.
This really hit home. Being a work in progress is sometimes very daunting. Thank you for the encouragement. I feel like 2016 to 2018 was the height of cosmetic spending for so many people, myself included. I think I'm ok with my spending habits now because I really worked on not doing random drugstore hauls, which helped me to stop 'looking for things to buy'. My next hill to conquer is ignoring indie brand releases.
Thank you Hanna! I recognise a lot of my behaviour and mindset when listening to you. I have turned my behaviour around but it is still a strugle. I get hope knowing where you are now and that it is possible to change.
Thank you for sharing that with us. It’s quite amazing what we are able to accomplish when we set our minds to it. You doing a no buy after that shopping spree is 🙌🏻. During the first 2 months of quarantine I indulged in all the good things, baked goods, sleeping in, lounging around. Now something snapped and I’m back to healthier habits. Getting some exercise in and reducing my sugar intake. My husband is baffled that I did a 180, but I can’t explain it. I set my mind to it and that’s that.
What you talk about with breaking up large purchases into smaller ones that feel more manageable resonates SO HARD with me. Wow. What a revelation. It’s sad to think I was in a level of denial enough that I was able to “hide” from my conscious that I was doing that.
For the q&a I would love it if you could talk about the difference in the number of products that you bought or got as gifts with purchase during 2017 and the number of products you have gotten in PR this year (the number before the reckonings). It seems like something useful to reflect on in terms of the year of less stuff and I’m really curious about the difference.
I feel like you are describing my recent shopping behavior... 😲 Especially when you mentioned splitting $400 purchases into multiple shopping trips as a delusion that perpetuates more and more spending. That really resonated with me. Gah!! 😱
I have enjoyed this series; it is so relatable to many of us who love beautiful things. Prayers for Joe’s dad & the two of you with the task you have at hand. Take care ❤️
I’d love to seethe skin care products you are using today for your morning and evening routines 🤞🏻
You have talked so much about this topic, and yet this is still relevant, and informative, and helpful because of the degree of transparency your discourse has reached. I pan things now, I make informed purchases now, and still I overspent on makeup during quarantine. Thank you.
I finally finished up all my lotion, soap, body wash, etc. that I had kicking around. Finally time to treat myself to that Haus of Gloi order.
I have officially been influenced. It’s ok because it’s in the budget 😉
Before your no buy year, did the stress and guilt from over buying manifest it's self in any physical or in a way that spilled over in your day to day life. Not more buying but like hair loss or weight loss, doing a lot of nice things for people even if you didn't have the time.
Sometimes I'm happy I grew up pretty poor and had kids fairly young. I don't get to just spend money whenever I want, not that I haven't made some bad money managing choices but knowing my kids could have something keeps me from overspending. Thanks for sharing, it really helps to remind people the real reality of this hyper consumerist lifestyle. People long to have as much makeup as beauty gurus but forget what that looks like money wise.
Maybe you can address this for the Q&A, but you seemed to buy a lot of makeup and skincare as gifts, were you surrounded by a lot of beauty lovers who also spent and gifted just like you, or do you think you just using any occasions for gifting as an excuse to buy things at Sephora? I know that happens to me sometimes
Also I was watching back your old videos and you talked about often buying those farmacy masks, definitely makes sense that discontinued things are disappearing!
Thank you not only for this mini series, but for your entire channel. You have articulated so well the journey and struggles of self love and bettering oneself in the space of addiction. I have seen myself so much in the behaviors described. It's easier to acknowledge feelings when there are the right words behind them to describe them. Thank you
What a great thing to be a work in progress; I think we all are. This was a great series and it's lovely to see that you are happier. It's always great to pause and look at how much progress has been made. Thanks for sharing your journey so publicly. Keep going!
while listening to this series, I decided to go through all my purchases on the 3 major sites I use to buy beauty stuff from. I was shocked that I decluttered so much of it but actually the majority of the products I used up!
the sad part is that most of the products that I decluttered were bought in store and I don't have any data about that... although, I bought most of my staples in drugstores (like foundation, mascara, brow gel, powder) but alongside that, I bought a lot of crap just because I was already there. or I'd go in to just browse through the makeup section and buy a random lip oil I didn't need.
I'm now doing a lot better, but it's mainly thanks to lockdown probably!
Your videos about your old spending habits is helping me keep myself in check, as I feel myself slipping into a shopping spiral. Thanks for sharing ❤️
This is so fascinating - thank you for your honesty. A lot of this resonates with me.
I love this series, thank you.
As I am watching this video I wonder if you ever watched back your first videos? Would it be a good addition to this series to react to your former self in video form?
Thank you for doing this work on camera for us to observe and learn!
My advice not that it’s warranted is to use things until they no longer serve you. What you have is what you wanted most when you bought it. You can then purchase if and when you need to replace those beautiful things you once thought were the most desirable at the time. Never buy things for future use only when you know you truly need it. The thing is I know this because I never feel bad for decluttering things since I know they’ve had so much use and are either ready for recycling or they don’t serve me, as in I never wear pink blush anymore.
Can relate to the house situation. My husband and I purchased the house he was born and raised in when his parents divorced/ needing different living help. In addition to a lot of deferred maintenance there was also the issue that his mother had smoked indoors for 30 plus years. There was a lot of Queen including removing walls and re installing drywall because the cigarette smoke had just penetrated everything. After 10 years we are still in the remodel process.
Sometimes I feel like I am looking into the mirror, though not everyone is the same. It took me forever to realize that loving something doesn't mean I have to go buy a second color or something. I enjoy the process of researching and find the right thing for me. I don't listen to anyone nor driven by sales but I just like the "project". Then I find some how I need the project to keep me going. Eventually I moved to a job I really enjoy then shopping problem seems to be resolve a looooot. Start to find shopping as a chore. But again with quarantine, I am longing for some bright color and I know it is because I want to go back the nature badly. So now I am shopping for nail polishes.... At least it is rather inexpensive... Please keep doing these videos. Respect all your efforts.
I’m late to this but I’m so glad I found you on Financial Confessions. I hope you write a book. Your voice is so needed and so wonderful.
Oh, my gosh, you are the best UA-cam content creator for giving us these extra glimpses into your fascinating life!
What were your conversations with Joe about finances during this year like?
The story of the house has made me really sad. I'm so sorry for Joe and his dad. I hope they're both doing better I send them my love
During 2018 I started shopping obsessively and trying to pretend I was living a life I wasn't actually living, the fantasy self had taken over and I had no control. I'm still not completely off it but I have better control and what was upsetting more then and thinking about it now is how much garbage did I create just from getting rid of boxes and wrapping paper and packaging etc
Hi Dear Hannah!! I was so eagerly awaiting this video!! Would it freak you out to know that I've been checking every morning / afternoon for this upload....??? I hope not, I'm just an uber-fan who deeply relates to your content.
I was also checking daily for the 3rd part. Loved the series
Appreciate your honesty and thoroughness.
Thanks so much, Hannah! When I first joined Sephora, I got my free birthday gift right away and was hooked! Samples and points perks--I agree totally that they feed the mentality of wanting more whether it's good for us or not.
Do you mean to tell me my obsession with my high end chi chi-lala scent collection is NOT going to transform me into the most fabulous woman ever to walk the earth??? Blasphemy! ;)
:)
I've always thought that your experience was so different from mine and it didn't apply to me. Now I see that you're describing my past habits and my past self...I feel that if I could restrain myself from overspending in the last few months, it's also because of your therapy-like videos. Thank you!
This gives me so much to think about. Thank you so much, no one in my life feels as I do about cosmetics, skin care, and fragrance, etc. I want to spend less and own less, but it isn't easy. I need to set limits for myself, as a goal, but I am not sure what they should be. Currently, I am enjoying perfumes a little too much, lol, and need to back off. But mentally, I recognize that fragrance is one fun way that I have new "experiences", since I became disabled with a medical condition. I don't get out of the house as much (especially now!), and a new fragrance feels like going on a mini-trip to me. The smells of different places, even different times in history, is exciting and something I look forward to. Should I limit the number of new scents (samples or bottles)? Or should I impost a dollar limit?
You've inspired me to take a look at my spending. I'm scared, I'll be honest BUT, I am going to go look at budget myself for 2022.
Loved these videos. The amount of self reflection that they inspired was cathartic.
I used to do what you describe here with takeout food. I'm saving about $600 a month these days.
My anxiety/boredom spending habit has really develop a life of its own over quarantine, and shopping addiction content from HLP and Tara Scott have really helped pull me back when I need it. Bless you guys 🥺 the personal finance side of yt is literally a life saver
Wow I just looked at my purchase history and 2017 was a big spending year for me too at Sephora in that I almost got to the second level of beauty rewards so I think I was at like $300? Anyway that was a wake up to me to get it together and limit beauty spending to products I actually use on a daily basis. That's amazing that you were able to change your spending and really see what was at the heart of things!
the way you hold your cat is everything lol
We forget how far we have come because we never look back we just focus on how far we still have to go.
This amount surprised me, I had expected it to be around 7,000. I am personally planning to start a no buy year from July because since covid, my online shopping on asos and such the like has been absolutely unfathomable, it's uncomfortable to think about but the discomfort makes me want to change this
Thank you for the transparency about this journey. 🙏
I wonder if you're anywhere near me, I'm at my boyfriend's parents' house in Garberville, CA. I also live in LA and it was an 11 hour drive to get here. I absolutely loved this series, you've challenged me to reflect on my own purchase habits and it's been a great learning experience. I successfully completed my first no-buy month (aside from a Sephora order using a gift card) and it was life-changing!
I feel like a work in progress too! And I have to thank you for that 💕. I'm saving for a proyect, but I got carried away this month. Quarantine isn't helping, honestly.
My question for your Q&A is how have you dealt with the guilt/shame?
I'm not kind with myself about this. I haven't put myself in a bad or dangerous position. But I need to hice myself a break from self-shaming 🙈
Love from Argentina 💕
Sadieeeee! My girl. The feelings you bring up are very heavy, it is tough to comment in a way that feels valuable to others. I appreciate everything you said and need to ponder, but it is more comfortable to talk about cKatz.
I too remember making exceptions for Fenty in the past. My behavior came and went, but a lot of these sound so similar. Thanks for sharing!
No judgement here I think I spend about £2000 on makeup and skincare in 2018 but 2019 I cut way back and now I don’t need anything except replacements or eyeshadow palettes within my requirements. I only have 6 but I want to try each brand but just one of each so I hold out until they release the one palette I want to own and use
Yes you are not wrong breakup purchases during the sales happens and is misleading. I did that this past sale and I know I spent too much. One resolution I have made w Sephora is no online shopping unless is a repurchase. Buying online really make me feel like is ok to spend a bit more.
Omg. I had a problem as well with spending $$$ on makeup. Thank you for telling me about your journey. I spent $200-$300 a month on makeup for the past 2 years. It was so bad. I promised myself to go on a low buy. Doing good so far thanks to this pandemic. Only bought 2 things since March. Under $25 . Thank god!
Thank you for being so candid and vulnerable ❤️
It’s such a strange relief to watch you unpack this. I’ve just started looking at my own panic and anxiety spending and watching this series has made me feel so seen. And definitely cracked open the door for my own changes and self-forgiveness. Thank you
I love that colour on you, your hair looks wild and I love it, and your brows are so perfect, mine could NEVER
3 cheers for part 3!!! You rock!
thank you so much for sharing this!! this is so fascinating and eye opening. I'm so glad you are talking about this!!
Hi Hannah, it's wonderful of you and Joe to be cleaning up his father's house. My father, a hoarder, had a massive stroke three years ago and is now living in a care home. My sister, husband and I had to clean out his things and it was a physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting undertaking. I want to ask, with a lot of love to you, to please consider how Joe's father would feel about you photographing and publicly discussing the state of his home. Perhaps you already have and you have reason to know he is or would be fine with it! I just wanted to mention it.
I'm so sorry you had to close poema. I haven't kept up with watching UA-cam lately so I didn't know. Take much care and I hope it's cooled off by now.
I still have my big is back set!! They work great!!! With a blow dryer... so much volume.
You're so open and honest. Love your content and personality so much!